r/sex • u/OkTough6333 • 27d ago
I can't find a flair that fits What did my partner just do? NSFW
So yesterday me (M22) & my gf (F21) were having sex. usually when we do it, we routinely do it in the missionary position and i usually finish and she’s able to have a good time too, but yesterday something unusual happened. As I was thrusting, I was having difficulty finishing – which is not common, since I usually am able to finish with no problem; but yesterday it just wasn’t clicking for some reason and I was thrusting for like 10-15 minutes. Then as I was continuing thrusting, all of a sudden I feel an enormous heavy pressure on my penis – the feeling was so heavy that, it was as if my Penis was being squeezed from all sides. With this enormous pressure on me I was finally at last able to finish & it was one of the best feelings ever. I looked over at my gf and I asked her what the hell just happened? & she just laughed and said “magic”
I’m still confused on what happened even after a day just passed since. Because we've been doing missionary for so long and nothing like this has ever happened. What do you guys think?
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u/Secretlysidhe 27d ago edited 27d ago
Two possibilities:
Kegel muscles. She tightened them. It’s something us women can do, and we can work on them too. It’s actually good for us to do that as we age and after having babies to help with other things.
Or she orgasmed, it can tighten things when orgasming too. More of a reflex.
I took her reaction to mean that she did it intentionally so my guess is… kegel.
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u/Unl3a5h3r 27d ago
Kegel training is good for everyone. Better orgasms, better pee holding, better regeneration after birth, better sex.
And it can be done discreetly all the time. Bored at a meeting: Kegel training. Bored in public transport: Kegel training. Bored in front of the TV: Kegel training. Bored on a long drive: Kegel training. (I think everyone gets it now.)
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u/skankboy 27d ago
Reading this thread, kegel training.
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u/Shikamaru_Senpai 27d ago
Typing this comment, Kegel training.
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u/dlightfulruinstyrant 26d ago
Boffum, kegel training!
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u/culoman 26d ago
Nobody expects the
SpanishKegel Inquisition•
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u/implication-sofa 27d ago
It can be harmful for those with already overtoned pelvic floors! Sometimes reverse kegels are actually a better option
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u/Fickle_Stick_3153 27d ago
I understand what Kegels are and I’ve practiced them, but when it comes to reverse Kegels, I have no idea. Is it like when you try to pee without actually peeing? I don’t understand 😭
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u/implication-sofa 27d ago
Sort of! When you do a normal kegel you squeeze upwards essentially and the “release” of that is the reverse kegel. It’s mostly by taking deep diaphragmatic breaths where you inhale using your ribs/abdomen which naturally relaxes your pelvic floor. You can also gently push out as you are describing
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u/RareEarthMagnets 26d ago
Can confirm. Apparently it’s possible to prevent yourself from getting orgasms by overtoning your pelvic floor, causing your kegels to never fully relax. I have a therapeutic wand now to stretch my vaginal muscles while doing deep breathing exercises and trying to force my muscles to relax. T_T One day I’ll get to experience an orgasm…
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u/implication-sofa 26d ago
I’m right there with you 🙃 actually was cured through pelvic floor therapy and wand use but relapsed recently due to stress so back to the wand I go 🥲
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u/RareEarthMagnets 25d ago
Thank you for giving me hope that the exercises will help! I need to be better about doing them and using the wand, and being a pessimist about it definitely doesn’t help. XD
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u/Used-Tumbleweed9734 22d ago
What kind of wand? I’ve been dealing with excess tone/vaginismus, and I’ve been using dilators and small dildos. I also haven’t orgasmed. It’s good to get confirmation that the two things might be related, so the second might get better as I fix the first.
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u/RareEarthMagnets 20d ago edited 20d ago
Intimate Rose Pelvic Wand
The company is Intimate Rose. It’s thicker on the short end with a bit of a point to hit the shallower muscles right around the vagina, and a long thin end to hit the deeper muscles in your pelvic floor.
It’s used in conjunction with lube and breathing/relaxation exercises.
I would recommend consulting with a pelvic floor specialist physical therapist before use just to make sure it’s a good idea and to give you an idea of how to do the exercises properly—there’s a very informative instructional card that comes with the product, but it took my PT actually demonstrating on my arm the amount of pressure I should be applying with the device to make me realize how mean I had been to my pelvic floor (and why it cramped up so badly) when I attempted to use it the first time. (I was treating it like a deep tissue massage, where I look for a knot and then apply pressure to beat it into submission… pelvic floors don’t like that, it turns out)•
u/SignalAssistant2965 25d ago
Can really help men with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation problems
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u/Adventurous-Idea9463 22d ago
But how do you know which you have!?
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u/implication-sofa 22d ago
An evaluation by a pelvic floor physical Therapist is best but they both have different symptoms
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u/Maha_Imitation 27d ago
Yes, but is it also possible to relax the muscles? Because OP wrote he usually doesn't have a hard time finishing, but this time he couldn't so easily.
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u/Secretlysidhe 27d ago
This sounds like she tightened them. But yes, it’s also easy to relax them. I can push and pull with them. It’s the same muscles used in peeing - holding or stopping urinating is the pulling, and sometimes when trying to force myself to pee (like I know it’s going to be awhile before I get to a bathroom), I push down. Same muscles. I get a lot of practice outside sex, I imagine most women do.
Now you absolutely can work the muscles to tighten even more and do impressive things, but the very basic squeeze function isn’t that difficult and something most of us do outside the bedroom almost every day. Depends on how tight she squeezed him, but even working them isn’t that hard. I can sit at work and squeeze and release my kegals without anyone knowing and a lot of women just work on them like that. It’s only a few minutes a day. It can help with aging related or pregnancy related issues that cause accidentally peeing ourselves as we get older so a lot of us are aware and work on them. It’s not a huge secret.
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u/Peter5930 27d ago
It took my gf years to learn how to unclench them, she has kegels of steel and would crush my dick until it was sore and soft and spongy and couldn't get hard again. The closer she got to orgasm, the tighter it would get, like fighting against knots of muscle.
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u/Maha_Imitation 27d ago
Thank you for your answer. I meant that as he usually finishes sooner, maybe she relaxed the muscles a lot so that he couldn't come and then squeezed them real tight so he could finish. I just wasn't aware that it was possible to relax them so much that like OP wrote, he couldn't come easily.
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u/Pussycat1976 27d ago
The pelvic floor muscles around the vaginal canal are usually already relaxed. But maybe there was a lot of lubrication that day, so OP didn't get as stimulated as usual.
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u/Secretlysidhe 27d ago
Well for me, it often feels like I could wag a tail if there was one attached, if that helps. Also I believe men have similar muscles to move their penises. So yes, you can relax and tighten.
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u/Adventurous-Idea9463 22d ago
I feel like I can squeeze easily to stop/start urine, but it doesn’t squeeze the same on a dick. Or maybe I’m just used to them being a bigger size?
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u/Secretlysidhe 22d ago
Bigger should make them feel it a bit, require less tight squeezing, I think. It could be that you haven’t worked it much outside that. It doesn’t require much - just sit there and do that same motion for a few minutes a day.
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u/Select-Owl-8322 27d ago
/*Kegel
I know it's a bit petty to correct spellings, and I don't usually do it, but it's actually named after a person, Arnold Kegel, and to me it's respectful to spell people's name correctly.
Also, absolutely agree! Definitely kegels! She's probably been doing Kegel exercises!
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u/yinyang107 27d ago
Doing that whole spiel makes corrections way more obnoxious, just go "(Kegel)" and move on
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u/tacothetacotaco 26d ago
First thing I couldn’t help but notice is that you always finish, but she “always has a good time”. Might want to work on that.
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u/Scared-Base-4098 26d ago
This is what I noticed also. Way to go only thinking of yourself. Give that girl some pleasure. Make sure she gets hers then worry about you. 🤣🤣🤣
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u/Old_Lion_598 10d ago
I always make sure my girl gets off and sometimes to the point of needing to take a break for a few minutes to calm down.
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u/pm-me-anything-happy 25d ago
just to tack onto this — yeah, do better op. i just left a very similar situation. life’s too short for bad/subpar sex
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u/soulzero22 25d ago
Same. Op’s fingers and tongue could save this relationship. Either that or his girlfriend is willing to be like Marge from the Simpsons.
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u/SpendSea4200 24d ago
I am in this situation (as the woman) and personally it doesn’t usually bother me, it’s hard for me to finish, he can never get me to but he’ll lay with me and do other stuff while I do it myself if I want to, but I find the sex itself fun and satisfying.
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u/Electrical_Maize_640 27d ago
Hey, you seem young and possibly inexperienced. Nothing wrong with that, just ask her about it! These conversations help strengthen your emotional connection and sex life
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u/redditistripe 27d ago
Sounds as if she might have been orgasming and having a muscle contraction as a result. If that is the case, and it is the first time you've experienced it it does beg a question about all those other occasions.
🤔
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u/CouldveWouldveMayve 27d ago
Yeah, bro thinks 10-15 minutes is an unusually long time. Seems he's probably not aware that this (or a bit more) is what it takes for a lot of women.
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u/jenmony 27d ago
Since she laughed and called it magic, I would assume she did a kegel to tighten around you.
I tighten whenever I orgasm from penetration and leading up to it. So that could be a possibility but based on her response, I don’t feel like that was the case
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u/OkTough6333 27d ago edited 27d ago
What would be the reason for her to do a kegel and tighten around me? Sorry this is new information to me.
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u/yellowsprings 27d ago
Intentionally because she wanted to help you cum :)
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u/pnutbrutal 27d ago edited 26d ago
This is what vaginas do when they orgasm, OP. If he’s never felt this before then it doesn’t seem like he’s ever made her cum.
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27d ago
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u/SadAndNasty 26d ago
Op says he finishes and she has a good time too, that doesn't really sound like she does orgasm. Maybe I'm just assuming 🤷🏾♀️
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u/6352956104 27d ago edited 27d ago
She tightened her muscles purposefully. Called a kegel. All women (and men) are capable of them.
Comments here saying she orgasmed- some seem to think vaginal contractions must mean a woman has orgasmed. Untrue. As you can tell by her comment afterwards and the timing women can simply tighten their muscles anytime, same as any other exercise.
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u/thisismypotat 27d ago
Not everyone can, especially not that strong. Example 1: me. I can't do kegels at all, I've tried everything, practiced, used those "kegel balls", read articles and how to's, etc.
But when I have an orgasm my vagina literally squeezes and pulsates so intensely that it's hard to believe. You can both see it from outside and feel it obviously. My husband loves it when I squeeze his penis to death 🥰 So the muscles are there, I just don't have any control over them 😅
And no, my inability to do kegels hasn't had any impact on my life or health. I've given birth twice no problem, and I've never had issues with incontinence, or sex obviously.
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27d ago
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u/volvavirago 26d ago
Yep! That’s how I first activated my mind-muscle connection with my pelvic floor. I would practice starting and stopping while peeing, and getting control over the force of the stream. And once I knew what that felt like, I could do it in the bedroom. I would go in with an empty bladder, but I would consciously flex the muscles like I was holding pee in, or pushing it out, and it was….very effective on my partner, to say the least lmao.
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u/whirdin 27d ago
we routinely do it in the missionary position and i usually finish and she's able to have a good time too
So, does she orgasm? Does she have to just masturbate to "feel good"? Your comment here sounds so flippant towards her pleasure, as if you aren't even aware of orgasms or mutual pleasure.
was having difficulty finishing... I was thrusting for like 10-15 minutes.
First time taking multiple minutes to cum? Lol. I know it's common for us guys to cum in just 5 minutes, but you act like 15 minutes is some long drawn out boring thing in danger of you not cumming. It sounds like she finally had sex for long enough that she was getting pleasure from it. I will pace myself specifically so I will last over 15 minutes (my wife prefers piv to be 15-20 minutes, many women prefer longer), also I spend time on foreplay so she is part way to orgasm before even starting piv.
You felt her clenching (voluntarily or not), and were then confused lol. Vaginas are magic, learn more about them.
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u/jbwilso1 25d ago
Especially since OP has neglected to respond to every instance of this question, I guarantee you that she does not.
However, thank you so much for being a man who advocates for a woman's orgasm. We truly appreciate it, and wish it happened more often.
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u/whirdin 25d ago
Yeah, the silence says a lot. Seems like they were hoping for very different answers that didn't require any introspection. I just browsed through and only see one short response, among this plethora of people willing to give advice.
I'm happy to help! I know from talking to guys that it's not taken as seriously as it should be. Sometimes maliciously and/or selfishly, but sometimes just ignorant.
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u/no-one-special-here 27d ago
Next time you're having sex, ask her to do her "magic" again when you want to cum. If she can do it on command, she's doing kegels.
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27d ago
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u/jvvelvet 27d ago
That was the only think in my mind. He even says “I was thursting for 10-15 min”
they are both missing out on so much fun
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u/SignalAssistant2965 27d ago
For me it seems more of a question pf what happens before the thrusting and penetration
I can orgasm in two minutes of penetration if I'm properly aroused before
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u/Mission-Cup9902 27d ago
Can you elaborate on what they are missing out on?
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u/jvvelvet 27d ago
10-15 min of sex seems like a short time, they could be doing more, but like it was pointed out, they have time to discover and explore, increasing their fun.
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u/Mental-You-5084 27d ago
Isso se chama pompoarismo. É uma técnica de fortalecer os músculos da vagina
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u/angellover87 27d ago
Maybe you could make her come first next time 👀... orgasm also makes the vaginal muscles tighten
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u/megggzzz21 27d ago
I do this to my husband. She probably just clenched everything internally to make it tighter for you. It clearly worked.
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u/tquiring 27d ago
Well you either made her cum, or she was already done and decided to help you out by giving you a good squeeze. Also happens when they cough, sneeze, or laugh. Some women just have a magic vajayjay.
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u/Logmanator 27d ago
You need to work on viewing your partner as an actual lover. “Thrusting for 10-15 minutes in missionary” sounds like a terrible time for everyone lol.
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u/rogerbonus 27d ago
She Kegeled you. My partner has such strong kegels she sometimes almost pushes me right out when she does that. Fyi women often squirt when doing this.
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u/JAgYoSzNghxGfOvP 27d ago
we routinely do it in the missionary position and i usually finish and she’s able to have a good time too
I'm reading this to mean you have previously not brought her to orgasm through PIV; is that right? But she tells you, "I had a good time"?
If that's the case, then what you felt was her orgasming from PIV. That often makes the muscles around the vagina contract and squeeze the penis.
You should ask her: "Was that an orgasm?", "Have I made you orgasm through PIV before?". She might be too embarrassed to tell you that you haven't before, but hopefully you guys can have a more open conversation then just, "it was magic" ✨
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u/Desperate_Jelly_9214 27d ago
I think she tight her hole to help you finish
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27d ago
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27d ago
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u/SpclMchn 27d ago
I had a short relationship with a woman, when I was in college, and when I was inside of her, it felt like she was milking me, an almost rippling effect. I had never felt anything like it before, and haven't experienced it since. It was amazing!!
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u/bourquetheman 27d ago
My wife just did this the last time we had sex and it was absolutely amazing as it definitely helped me orgasm and felt so tight. This is most likely what she did to you.
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u/Reasonable-Shock8046 27d ago
Kegels duh. I’m just thrown off by the fact that yall are 21 and 22 and only do the missionary position. Oh how I miss the days when my knees allowed me to do all sorts of positions. And I’d bet money that you’d enjoy sex a bit more if you tried a different position, different angles lead to different sensations
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u/Embarrassed_Arm_7448 26d ago
Sounds like she at the very least came close to finishing herself if not actually getting there
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u/volvavirago 26d ago
I can consciously squeeze my vaginal muscles, so can many women. I call it “embracing” or “holding”, or gripping lol. It’s very effective. Sometimes too effective lol.
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u/EudaemonicSolivagant 21d ago
It sounds like she had an orgasm vs just having a good time.
How often is missionary the position you do? Anything in which she's more actively moving- grinding on you when you're fingering her and going down on her, or riding you on top- is going to help her get those big O's more frequently, if she wants.
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u/EudaemonicSolivagant 18d ago
OP, if you'd like to make that even better, you and your lady could look up resources on sex education. I'm nearly 40 and have a great sex life and I wish I'd had this education back then!
Comprehensive books I've read-
Girl Sex 101 by the badass Allison Moon, with whom I've taken an erotic workshop in San Francisco. Yes it's sapphic but everything in this book would also be great for a hetero couple.
"The Guide to Getting It On" by Paul Joannides is also wonderful.
I can recommend some other things when I get to my book shelf tonight.
And, Omgyes is a great website though not free.
Exploring these resources will open new worlds for you sexually, I'm excited for you.
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u/LumpyCucumber1565 9d ago
how can men last longer? I cum within 5 seconds what's the secret for longer sex
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u/straffe-hendrick 4d ago
Let her suck you, suck her, or both the same time. Finger her, doggy, cowgirl .... so much more to do
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u/Mr_J42021 27d ago
Dude, I hope this is a shit post. But if not... She finally had an orgasm because you took longer and didn't cum before her.
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u/biggunbc 27d ago
Sounds like she had a hard orgasm which can make her contract and pulse inside… usually means you did good lol
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u/Jumping-shadow 27d ago
She contacted her vagina muscles.They can be controlled and perform various movements. It was either involuntary ( orgasm) or voluntary.Inclined to say it was the latter since she laughed and said magic.
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u/thisismypotat 27d ago
It's called... An orgasm ✨ Which can definitely be magical (and a bit terrifying) if it's one of the strong, penis-crushing ones! 😂
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u/sluttyman69 27d ago
She’s been reading books or listening to friends. She’s learning you’re lucky.
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u/CalmPlate6157 27d ago
My wife and I have been together for 20 years. She has only just started doing this. And you get this right away!? 😂
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27d ago
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Your content has been been removed for one or more of the following reasons:
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u/ros994 27d ago
Lucky guy, your girl seems to be able to control her pelvic/vaginal muscles. Maybe she even intentionally relaxed to try it out and you couldn’t finish and then she intentionally tightened. There’s a subreddit for this r/pompoir
You can show the subreddit to her and ask her if she knows about it. There’s lots of pleasure to be found with pompoir, both for you and your partner.
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u/SuperNova_Sn 27d ago
She orgasmed my friend me and my current gf always try to finish together when having PIV
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27d ago
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Post title:
What did my partner just do?
So yesterday me (M22) & my gf (F21) were having sex. usually when we do it, we routinely do it in the missionary position and i usually finish and she’s able to have a good time too, but yesterday something unusual happened. As I was thrusting, I was having difficulty finishing – which is not common, since I usually am able to finish with no problem; but yesterday it just wasn’t clicking for some reason and I was thrusting for like 10-15 minutes. Then as I was continuing thrusting, all of a sudden I feel an enormous heavy pressure on my penis – the feeling was so heavy that, it was as if my Penis was being squeezed from all sides. With this enormous pressure on me I was finally at last able to finish & it was one of the best feelings ever. I looked over at my gf and I asked her what the hell just happened? & she just laughed and said “magic”
I’m still confused on what happened even after a day just passed since. Because we've been doing missionary for so long and nothing like this has ever happened. What do you guys think?
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