I have been seeing a guy for a while kind of casually. Last year I gave him a blowjob and he came in about 15 minutes which was pretty solid. But today he came over after not seeing me for a month and we were having fun together sexually. (We haven’t had sex yet though because I’m a virgin and trying to take it slow). But I was giving him handjobs, blow jobs, bunch of different positions, he also saw me like naked for the first time. And yet he was having lot of trouble reaching orgasm. He was genuinely trying to be nice about it and everything like holding my hand and telling me I was doing good and also trying to teach me what he liked. But in the end he said “I’m sorry I’m taking forever” and just jerked himself off until he was close to orgasm and then let me finish him off.

I just felt so ugly afterwards because it’s like he’s literally seeing my body for the first time and seeing me do all these things, was I really that bad? Also when we were laying together and he was trying to reassure me he said “you’re literally one of the most attractive people I’ve ever dated” and then I was like “one of the most…?” And then he changed his mind and said “actually no now that I think about it you’re the most attractive” but I believe he meant it in a very “white lie” kind of way to spare my feelings. Because he could tell it bothered me when he was initially honest.

Idk I’m 19, I’m new to all of this. I just feel insecure and ashamed. Like I tried my best and it wasn’t enough.

And no he’s not on anti-depressants and I would say he has a pretty average libido for a 20 year old guy.

Hey! I’m 21f dating 21m and we’ve been dating for 5 months now. We aren’t official yet due to having to go long distance and just reuniting recently. I don’t know how to tell him that i am ready to have sex. We have good in-depth conversations but I kind of want it to be silly or sexy and not just a simple “hey let’s have sex” How do I make it more personable and less nerve wracking for me? For clarification, I am a virgin and have very little experience.

I would consider myself on the upper end of the sexual scale and sexual thoughts arise quite often in my mind. When I’m alone at home, this often leads to very long edging and masturbation sessions. These can last a few hours sometimes and I get so into it that I just repeat the process and masturbation over and over again. Without knowing, a lot of hours have passed and I’ve orgasmed maybe 5 times. In fact there was one day where I orgasmed 20 times. I worry this is not normal at all and it’s messing me up in the long run

This has been an issue ever since I first started exploring my body sexually. It's as if my body cannot produce the sensations, at least a substantial amount of it. Touching my clit (really the hood because touching the clit directly feels horrible to me) doesn't feel like anything. However, a short while after rubbing it, it leads to a dulled out, but mildly pleasurable sensation that lasts 3-6 seconds. It's the closest thing I can get to a release when aroused. I don't even think my arousal is that intense tbh (at least compared to how other women describe it), but it was slightly higher when I was taking an NDRI for my mental health, but returned to the baseline after a while of being off of it. I don't have negative feelings surrounding sex that's been causing this, going to a psychosexual clinic didn't help.

And yes, I've tried vibrators. Different kinds: rabbits, roses, wands (sounds like I’m describing scenes of a magical kingdom), suction toys, bullets, an actual back massager, even a fake tongue toy (which felt like having a bug on my clit). I've also explored the shower head method, grinding, stimulating multiple erogenous zones at once. Still no difference.

Penetration also does nothing for me sexually. It just feels like inducing the urge to use the bathroom, for number one and number two. Past partners have struggled to get it in, and it would be a slow and uncomfortable process where I'd lie back and dissociate. Anal penetration is easier, so I've let partners do that to compensate for my vaginal difficulties. It still does nothing for me sexually.

I’m going to be seeing a pelvic floor specialist about this and if there's some kind of link because I have some of the symptoms of a hypertonic pelvic floor. I visited one earlier in the year, but ended sessions due to other things in life that made engaging with things difficult.

It just makes me sad that something as basic as sex and masturbation, which I crave, is not enjoyable for me. I think about those activities a lot, and I envy the women who may not think of sex as the be all and end all, but can still orgasm with a vibrator. I'd like to know what the first few seconds of using a vibrator feel like to the average woman because I've probably never come close to a fraction of that in my most intensely pleasurable moments (no pun intended).

How do I stop feeling like I’m broken and that I've been stripped of something the vast majority of women have? Do I have hope in improving the issue?

First time posting and not sure if I’m going to explain great, so please bear with me. I (31F) and husband (34M) have been together 12 years, married for 8. I’m not sure how deep I need to dive into our history so I can try and answer additional questions if people have them, but I guess just know I came into this relationship a virgin and pretty inexperienced and he came into it greatly experienced.

Husband three/four years ago subtly introduced anal and deepthroating. Never really discussed it, just started kinda doing it haha. Long story short - back then, gave anal a solid three tries and definitely decided I didn’t like it and told him such. There is basically an attempt every time we are intimate now. I can handle and actually don’t mind it until a certain point (it doesn’t give me pleasure but if it did for him I could handle it) but when he gets excited and starts trying to go deeper; I get hurt and upset, he gets frustrated and then we’ve had arguments/issues. Same with the deepthroating. He’s about 8-9” so he’s just a lot to take in (at least for me). I always still try but I just can’t get it there. Anal hurts and deepthroating ends in me swallowing back down my own bile during it or I’ve straight up puked a couple times.

I finally broke down some days ago after I feel like lately he’s been just completely ignoring vaginal sex and he’s been attempting the other two things and going soft and not finishing because I cannot go as deep as he’d like. I just unloaded all my stresses and feelings and he was apologetic and super understanding and explained it’s not me it’s just because he’s so big, he’s always had this issue and we’ll just not do that stuff anymore and that I just need to be more handsy, especially towards the bottom of his penis to make sensation there since there’s usually none cause it’s not going in all the way . Since then though, I’ve tried extra licking/sucking/touching down there during blowjobs, hands all over, tried angling myself different for PIV, kinda hold and touch the bottom of him when he is PIV, and he just continues to go soft. Any handjobs or blowjobs, soft. Then he went right back into trying both anal and deepthroating and he was enjoying it but again, couldn’t handle it long cause he started being too rough and deep. In the past year I’ve also wearing more lingerie and outfits and trying to increase dirty talk.

I’ve just been crying to myself daily now cause I feel like an absolute failure and that my body’s fucked up or something. I just feel like I can’t give him any intamacy, that it does nothing for him. I know he watches porn which I dont even really care that he does, unless it’s effecting his perceptions too much. I almost even offered the other day to just let him watch it while we do it if that would help.

I’m not even sure what I’m asking here, really. I guess I wanted to see if anyone had any advice, tips/tricks on having a partner of a large size and issues penetrating deeply. Maybe this is just a psychological rut we’re in cause there’s pressure from my upset the other day? We just keep going on this cycle and it’s driving me insane. It just never used to be this hard and I know we’re getting older and life and other stressors are happening every day. Maybe I just needed to get this out cause I have no girl friends or anyone else to talk to about this so it’s been a lottttt to internalize over the years. Would love therapy, can’t afford it.

Again, please be kind. If I need to elaborate on anything, I’ll try my best.

How do you do it? What kind of scenarios do you do? I’d like to do more of it with my husband but I have a hard time staying with it and lose train of thought on how to make it go better? Any advice is helpful !

Okay bear with me, I’m young and inexperienced and desperate for advice.

My boyfriend (21) and I (F21) have been together for two years now. I’d never had a sexual partner before him so a lot of what I’m learning is through my experiences in our relationship. Our intimate life is a lot tamer than I personally would prefer as we have sex maybe once a week and it’s always straightforward, immediate penetration except for some slight boob groping before. In the past, I would offer him head, to which he’d alternate between accepting and rejecting. I’ve unfortunately only given him head 6 times in the entirety of us being together. I would absolutely love to give him head much much more often, but the times I’ve been rejected were all so humiliating I’ve stopped asking at all.

Now, to him not giving me head.

When we first started dating I remember him telling me that he loved to give head in his past relationships. So, for a while, I kind of expected for him to just go down on me or request to. I, at the very least, expected him to want to touch me with his hands (fingering, etc). It’s all yet to happen. So much so that it feels foreign and fictional to even fantasize about.

I want to have that awkward conversation, but he’s reacted to scenes of women receiving head in movies/shows in disgust. And we’ve had past conversations where I brought up being more intimate and I always left feeling like a sexual deviant. I’m not ready to face the shame and embarrassment of being rejected like that again. Intimacy just seems like a part of our relationship that he isn’t interested in. But we’re so good at every other part of our relationship that it just seems so stupid to end things because of intimacy.

I suppose I am jealous of my friends who tell these amazing sexual stories of the partners they’re with. This situation has me feeling sad and I wonder if anyone has any advice for how to handle my feelings. If the relationship is amazing in every other regard should I just be grateful for what I already have?

I’ve been reasonably successful with dating in the narrow sense that I can get dates. There are various reasons those dates haven’t ultimately panned out, but one particular problem keeps standing out.

I’m pretty decent at planning dates and getting to know someone. If I manage to get a woman to go on a first date with me, I almost invariably get a second or third. I’ve gotten to the kissing stage plenty of times. The problem seems to be what comes after that.

I like sex as much as any other guy, but I don’t have a particularly strong drive to make it happen. My default attitude is usually, “when it happens, it happens", but apparently that can cause problems.

Obviously there are a million reasons someone might lose interest or ghost you, so I don’t want to overinterpret every failed dating situation. But I have gotten direct feedback at least once before that I moved much more slowly than expected. I recognize the point where things seem to stall. You’ve gotten through the first few dates and the initial excitement of learning about each other, and I get the sense that dating is supposed to start transitioning from very structured “let’s meet at this place at this time” dates into hanging out at each other’s places, staying over, and generally becoming more physically intimate.

The problem is that I don’t really know how to make that transition naturally. Whenever I read advice about escalating, it usually sounds something like: invite her over for a movie, sit close, put your arm around her, touch her leg, kiss her, one thing leads to another and bam.

I understand all of those steps intellectually. I can do them. But they don’t happen automatically for me. I don’t get so overwhelmed with desire that I stop thinking and just start moving things forward. Instead, there’s a running process in my head of, “Okay, I should probably sit closer now. Maybe put my hand here. Is this a good moment to kiss her?” Because it’s so deliberate, I think I come across as awkward.

This has led to sex before, but the first few times with someone are usually pretty awkward for me. It takes me a while to get comfortable with a new person before sex starts feeling natural and genuinely enjoyable. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten that far in a while. If the first experience is awkward, I can understand why someone might decide there isn’t enough chemistry to try again.

How do you handle sexual escalation when you enjoy sex but don’t have that strong instinct to pursue it?

I’m currently dating a lovely girl (24, f) and I (26, f) feel like we’re not as sexually compatible as we once were.

I’ve been working late nights while she looks for a job and it’s been taking a toll on our sex lives. I used to have the drive for sex constantly, but work is driving it down and I think she noticed. Last night we had a bit of a tiff, since we were trying to integrate sex back into our routine and I just wasn’t into it. She now thinks I’m not into her sexually, which I always have been!

I just feel so out of it and I don’t know how to tell her. She thinks I won’t touch her sexually and that hurts her feelings. What could I do to try and express my feelings?

Heya. So I've been pretty promiscuous recently and I'm in my slut arc. I've found more hookups the last month ALONE than ever by a factor of 3.

Anyways, been w some fun with some transmasc men who can't get pregnant recently.

I can't seem to orgasm from vaginal, only anal(the vagina-havers I have no issues making them orgasm, it's just me)

I think it's because after like 5mins the hole loosens up and it makes it more difficult.

This has been 4 times recently.

Any advice here? We're meeting up again soon.

I haven’t posted before and this post might be a bit grim and long but I don’t feel comfortable talking to my family or friends about this. They do know and I’m open about my experiences I just don’t want to share my thought process with them.

For context, Im female 21, I’m not a virgin, but I’m not experienced. Several years ago I was in a “relationship” with a man who was a few years older then me he was in his 20s, we met through a friend, when I was 16. To say relationship probably isn’t right, as it was more manipulation and being used.

The first time I’d had sex with him, I was caught off guard. I had never hung out with older people so there was that thrill and we went on a day trip a few hours away to the beach because we live in a city in Europe not very close to the ocean (stupid Ik) and I wasn’t even aware he was into me like that when he wanted me to give him a blow job, which then escalated. I was confused and quite uncomfortable, but for some reason I stuck around and it’s probably due to my childhood issues, but we continued to see each other and sleep together despite me not really wanting too but I never really got any experience from it as it was more him doing everything, and using me how he wanted abruptly while I’d sit or lay there then feel disgusting after. He did a lot of other things that I won’t get into that really fucked me up, but overall I wasn’t ready for that kind of a relationship and after a long time i finally developed a brain and broke up with him because I realised how horrible he treated me.

It’s been several years since that I’m in my early 20s but I’d stayed away from any kind of intimacy or men since that. Apart from 2 makeouts I really didn’t want to do with strangers at a club. I get plenty of attention when I go out, I’m bubbly and flirty, id say I’m reasonably attractive, idk if this counts but I made a hinge profile a few months ago out of curiosity and got 2k+ likes in my first few weeks and got overwhelmed so I had to delete it lol, but anyways I’m finally at a stage where I’m ready to start seeing people again. But I have a few issues.

One I don’t even know where to begin, yes I can flirt, yes I can get men to pine over me, but actually deepening a connection is something I don’t know how to do, because I have never had to do that, I have never been on a date, or initiated anything. When I flirt I feel like I’m surface level and i probably don’t give the impression that I’m looking for anything, and I want to know how to break past that and build a connection with someone, that Im actually interested in.

I’m sure I’d be fine on a date, I have plenty of male friends and I can hold a conversation pretty well, so the issues not the date it’s self, it’s then once it progresses and I like the person, I have seen then a few times, then what. I live in an apartment by myself for university and I’d feel most comfortable bringing them back here and I have no issues with that. But what do you do once you invite them back, like in general, do I put on a movie, music? And as a woman do I ask consent, I feel like that’s something you don’t hear about.

I’m pretty confident, and I know what I want so the issues not so much that I’m nervous about sleeping with someone, I’d be more then happy to initiate it, I just don’t know how. Do I assume they want to use a condom, frankly I don’t even know how to use one because my ex never used one. I’m used to swallowing, but is that a common thing especially when it’s a new relationship? Do most guys have an issue with kissing after that as well because my ex did.

Clearly a shitty man if you can’t tell. I want to be more in control as I never had any in the past, and when I say control I don’t mean dominance, I just mean my terms, my pace. Making out and then becoming more touchy, getting on top, I start the foreplay, give him a bj before continuing, that kinda stuff. But I assume you can just tell if they want to take it further through body language and there reciprocation then rather stopping and asking bluntly. Also random but I have never received oral, and for some reason the idea of being eaten out to me sounds weird I think just because I’m a bit insecure, I’m sure id be more open to it in a relationship but is that weird if I tell them not too.

I’m not particularly interested in a one night stand definitely not yet I’d rather get to know the person first. Is it the norm to have them stay over after, I’m completely fine with that if I like them and enjoy their company, I feel like walking down the road to grab something to eat in the morning if it went well would be nice.

As I said before I am insecure, and have some poor body image issues, but there’s not much one can do about it except try and better yourself and health which I have been doing and I feel more confident but, I have an abnormal amount of stretch marks, like on my stomach despite not being overweight, on my arms and underarms, all around my legs and thighs. I know it’s normal to have them but to my extent I feel like I don’t see any of my friends have that issue. My areolas are quite large and puffy as well and my boobs aren’t that big and I have a very chubby vagina. Anyways way to much information but would men be turned off by that, there’s nothing I can do about it but idk it’s still something I think about. It’s not holding me back though.

And finally do I tell them and when do I tell them? As in do I tell them about why I’m inexperienced, why I don’t really know what I’m doing, or do I just leave it at the fact I’m inexperienced so I might take it slow. I do like someone at the moment and he made the first few moves but also I’m easing into it because I’m not sure if they like me back and are interested in a relationship. So I guess this is kinda a preparation thing so I’m not completely lost, I have told him before because we have been friends for a while about the general gist, so he does know but I’d still like to tell him that I’m inexperienced and that I haven’t done anything since if we did end up dating because he’s a bit more experienced. But also there’s a chance I don’t end up dating him and it’s someone else in the future who doesn’t know my past.

Also any tips just in general about sex would be appreciated, like things to do and not do, things that work well and would make me appear a little more not so much experienced but at least not a complete mess. Thanks for reading my post sorry that was a bit grim and very fucking long, and I probably sound like a control freak but I’m really just ranting my thought process, I know there will be some fluffing around, I’m not going to be perfect and that’s fine the right guy will laugh with me, what scares me is that my past experiences and what I’m used to is obviously not the norm

I don’t know what’s happening.
My whole life when I’ve masturbated (I’m female) I don’t think I can get myself to finish? I get really sensitive and I feel like I’m about to get to that point but I can’t push myself further ?

My friends say when they climax their vision kind of goes white and their body feels warm and they feel this pulsing sensation between their legs.

That’s never happened to me and idk why I can’t seem to do that even when me and my partner (m) have sex.

Is it a me issue?

I’ve never been able to and I’m not in any medication or birth control

A girl I was seeing a few months ago told me that putting a hand on her lower stomach and applying a bit of pressure would have a big effect on her and most girls.

Can anyone explain to me what this does, if it has any effect at all, how does it feel. I know all girls are different but if a good portion likes this then it would be good to know exactly what to do.

I was just wondering if anyone has any advice on workouts, exercises or yoga poses that could improve/help in the bedroom whether that is with different types of positions or lasting longer etc.

I already do exercises quite a lot. I do 10-15k steps daily (averaging 12k), weight lifting (U/L split), been dieting too, recently started doing yoga/core workouts but they only consists of updog pose, prayer squats and planks at home.

For lower day, I've been doing zercher squats (so I can carry my girl), and hip thrusts.

Any help, advice or suggestions would be very handy! Yes, I know about foreplay etc. I've been with my partner for a long time and yes we communicate and experiment on what we like or curious to. I just want to starstruck my girl even more.

Hiii! I’m 18f and I recently have began to have sex w my boyfriend (19m who was inexperienced as well), hes super sweet and I love him so much n i do love doing it w him!! We use lube but..
It just doesn’t feel great for me!! We’ve done it 4 times now and it hurts and I bleeedd! I’m just wondering if eventually the bleeding and the pain stops?? And if not.. how do u ladies deal with it? Like what positions are better? What helped??

Thank you so much for reading and for ur input!! I seriously appreciate it so much!! Any tips or stories to help would mean sm! (˶˃ᗜ˂˶) have a great day!

EDIT - Thank you guys sosososo much for all the support and help! Foreplays def the answer and i’ll try it w him when i see him again!! I think i was just rushing too fast tbh🥹

I'm 29F and have been with my boyfriend for 10+ years, on and off. We’ve basically grown up together and built a life together. I love him, but I’ve been realizing lately that I’ve felt unwanted sexually and romantically for a long time.

He has very little sexual experience outside of me, while I’ve had other sexual experiences. I’m not comparing his performance to anyone else, but I do wonder if some of this comes from inexperience/insecurity or if we just experience sex and desire very differently.

We’re both pretty bad at having uncomfortable conversations about sex, and I know I should’ve brought some things up sooner. But I also HAVE communicated a lot of what I need. I feel like I’ve given him a pretty clear road map. I’ve told him I want more compliments, flirting and romance, and I’ve told him what I enjoy sexually.

One example is oral. I really enjoy receiving it. He did it once years ago and was actually really good at it. We’ve talked about it numerous times since. I’ve told him that if he’s nervous or unsure what I like, I’d happily guide him and figure it out together. He’s told me multiple times that he’ll do it “in his own time,” but years have passed without another attempt.

If he genuinely doesn’t enjoy giving oral, that is completely different. I do NOT want him doing anything sexual he doesn’t want to do or feel comfortable doing. I just wish he would tell me that if that’s the case instead of continuing to say he will eventually.

The weird part is that he wants oral from me, and I WANT to give it to him. I love giving oral, it turns me on, and I genuinely enjoy pleasing him. Years ago we basically decided it wasn’t fair for him to receive it if it wasn’t reciprocated, so neither of us does it.

But I don’t really want sex to work like a perfectly even exchange. If I enjoy doing something for him, I want to do it. I just also want to feel like there are things he genuinely enjoys doing because making me feel good turns him on too.

And this is bigger than oral.

Words of affirmation are really high on my list of love languages, which he knows. Compliments and hearing how my partner feels about me mean a lot to me, but I rarely get them. There isn’t much flirting or romance either.

He tells me he loves me and says he’s attracted to me, and I believe he loves me. But knowing someone loves you and actually feeling wanted by them are starting to feel like two different things.

I just want to feel like my boyfriend is actually fucking into me. I want to feel like he looks at me and wants me, like he thinks I’m hot without me having to ask. I want him to flirt with me, compliment me, touch me, romance me, just… show me somehow that there’s desire there.

Because having to ask for those things over and over starts to make them feel meaningless when they do happen. I don’t want to have to be upset or insecure first just to hear that he’s attracted to me. I want to actually FEEL it.

And I want to know him that way too. I want to know what he wants, what he likes and what makes him feel wanted. I just want to feel close to my fucking partner, and it hurts that after all these years together I still feel like I’m begging to feel wanted by him.

I know we need to communicate better, and neither of us can read minds. But I’ve also already been pretty direct about a lot of what I’m missing. I can explain what makes me feel loved and desired, but I can’t make those things come naturally from him.

So how do you know when something like this can actually improve with better communication and effort, versus realizing that you and someone you love might just be sexually/romantically incompatible?

My partner (23M) and I (20F) have been sleeping with each other for about three or four months now, but I recently moved and we've been seeing a lot less of each other. In that time, I rediscovered that I can squirt. I had been able to do it once or twice in the past, but lately, I've been super sensitive and had a really high sex drive, and when I've masturbated, I've found that I've been squirting more often.

I'm on the fence about whether or not I should tell my partner about this. On one hand, I don't want to set an expectation and have it hurt his ego(? or just feel bad i guess) if it doesn't happen, but on the other, I don't want it to take him by surprise if, for example, he goes down on me and I squirt in his face.

We've never talked about anything regarding this before. Is it a necessary conversation? If so, how do I start it?

Protocol is probably right term; I guess I don’t know how to navigate this new world. I recently became sexually active (literally three weeks ago) and have done it half a dozen times or so. It was not a traditional relationship, but with someone I met on my hiking/camping trip. I liked him a lot went into it with full knowledge it would end with end of the trip. He is now at his uni starting his grad school and just starting my freshman year. It was a great memorable experience.

Now that, I am at college I don’t know how to navigate through dos and don’t. I know of course unsafe sex is certainly a don’t. I also have heard, college life can be adventurous to wild. What I don’t know is when to say yes and no. Sorry, if it sounds a dumb question.

I have a very active imagination and have read a lot of smut/looked at porn- but it doesn’t exactly translate. With my husband, we don’t have sex super often, and I also can’t cum from penetration, and I have to use a vibrator. I don’t squirt often, I don’t wear lingerie, I’m not kinky, and I’m too bashful to talk dirty.

Meanwhile I have a really close friend who is the opposite of me- they squirt, they have multiple partners, they have kinky sex and go to sex events, they wear lingerie under day to day clothes, they love their body, and they have great sex. They basically are everything I want to be. But it feels so unnatural when I try it. Am I asexual? Am I simply not meant to be a sexual person? Does it take more practice? I don’t think I’ve ever gotten “wet”. And I don’t feel my clit throbbing over anything or anyone. Am I busted? How can I be more sexual? I feel so… repressed. Thanks in advance

Hey guys! I’m in need of sone advice. My wife and I (F) have a healthy sex life and do our best to please each other, but recently she’s addressed that she’d like me to be more aggressive. ie how i touch her and perform oral. I’ve tried different things and techniques, but Im at a standstill. Given, I’m the only person she’s been intimate with and I, myself, have minimal experience from my past. Even then, I was never aggressive so this is all new to me. If anyone has some pointers or suggestions that my wife and I could discuss, please tell me anything and be destructive l descriptive if possible. Thank you!

after having sex with my girlfriend, she pointed out that i looked like i had a rash on my chest and i went and looked in the mirror and my entire upper chest + collarbone area was red. i’ve never had this happen to me before, usually my face gets flushed but never my entire chest. i know its probably nothing to be concerned about, but why only this time out of every other time lol? it went away within an hour so nothing too severe.

I 22 F have recently started having more issues feeling confident during intercourse. I have noticed feeling disconnected and uncomfortable at times. Or like I'm a person watching outside of my body, I'm very aware of all of my surroundings. Things that typically would not be a concern.

I feel very comfortable with my partner and will be enjoying things and then it's like I get in my own way and start questioning if he's enjoying himself, or how he's perceiving me and instantly close off, "dry up" if you will.

Any recommendations on things to help me feel better with this. I want to enjoy sex with my husband and to feel confident.

Hope this is the right place to post.

I’ve (35F) been in my longest relationship yet with my partner (35M) of 4 years. Before we settled pretty quick, I had an active sex life and was always down for it. I think there was some issues with like, sex as validation, but it still didn’t feel like a chore.

Early into my current relationship, I had to have a cone biopsy which led to BV that I didn’t realize was BV for like a year, and it made me embarrassed and disgusted by my vagina. That’s all cleared up now, but it deterred me from sex for all that time.

Now, I feel like my whole relationship with sex has been ruined and it makes me sad all the time. I feel like I forgot how sex ever even happened ever. I have a bad memory generally, but it’s a trip how confused I feel over sex suddenly. My partner and I had great sex in the beginning, and when we do have the occasion, it’s still pretty good. I still compare a lot to past partners who were generally more skilled, unfortunate to say, and as time passes, I think I’m clinging more to those experiences and it is also contributing to this mess.

MY MAIN QUESTION IS - Does anyone else feel this way? Or have you ever?

BONUS QUESTION - How do you work sex into your LTR? My partner and mine’s sleep schedules conflict, because he stays up late and I wake up early. Then we go about our habits and sex isn’t build into any routines of ours. I overthink timing and make excuses like being too tired or too full after eating, and I had ADHD and phases of high anxiety which all keeps me distracted and hard to do something relaxing and engaged like sex.

So…bless anyone who has read all this. Anything helps, thank yous!