What did my partner just do?

[u/OkTough6333]

So yesterday me (M22) & my gf (F21) were having sex. usually when we do it, we routinely do it in the missionary position and i usually finish and she’s able to have a good time too, but yesterday something unusual happened. As I was thrusting, I was having difficulty finishing – which is not common, since I usually am able to finish with no problem; but yesterday it just wasn’t clicking for some reason and I was thrusting for like 10-15 minutes. Then as I was continuing thrusting, all of a sudden I feel an enormous heavy pressure on my penis – the feeling was so heavy that, it was as if my Penis was being squeezed from all sides. With this enormous pressure on me I was finally at last able to finish & it was one of the best feelings ever. I looked over at my gf and I asked her what the hell just happened? & she just laughed and said “magic”

I’m still confused on what happened even after a day just passed since. Because we've been doing missionary for so long and nothing like this has ever happened. What do you guys think?

[u/Secretlysidhe]

Two possibilities:

Kegel muscles. She tightened them. It’s something us women can do, and we can work on them too. It’s actually good for us to do that as we age and after having babies to help with other things.

Or she orgasmed, it can tighten things when orgasming too. More of a reflex.

I took her reaction to mean that she did it intentionally so my guess is… kegel.

[u/Unl3a5h3r → u/Secretlysidhe]

Kegel training is good for everyone. Better orgasms, better pee holding, better regeneration after birth, better sex.

And it can be done discreetly all the time. Bored at a meeting: Kegel training. Bored in public transport: Kegel training. Bored in front of the TV: Kegel training. Bored on a long drive: Kegel training. (I think everyone gets it now.)

[u/skankboy → u/Unl3a5h3r]

Reading this thread, kegel training.

[u/Shikamaru_Senpai → u/skankboy]

Typing this comment, Kegel training.

[u/Jaded_Armour_853 → u/Shikamaru_Senpai]

TL;DR Kegel Training.

[u/dlightfulruinstyrant → u/Shikamaru_Senpai]

Boffum, kegel training!

[u/culoman → u/dlightfulruinstyrant]

Nobody expects the Spanish Kegel Inquisition

[u/dlightfulruinstyrant → u/culoman]

A man of culture, I see!

[u/Fresh_Koala1989 → u/dlightfulruinstyrant]

A man of kegel you mean 🤣

[u/implication-sofa → u/Unl3a5h3r]

It can be harmful for those with already overtoned pelvic floors! Sometimes reverse kegels are actually a better option

[u/54-Cymru-Beats → u/implication-sofa]

Instructions unclear, came and shat myself

[u/implication-sofa → u/54-Cymru-Beats]

Eat fiber as foreplay

[u/Fickle_Stick_3153 → u/implication-sofa]

I understand what Kegels are and I’ve practiced them, but when it comes to reverse Kegels, I have no idea. Is it like when you try to pee without actually peeing? I don’t understand 😭

[u/implication-sofa → u/Fickle_Stick_3153]

Sort of! When you do a normal kegel you squeeze upwards essentially and the “release” of that is the reverse kegel. It’s mostly by taking deep diaphragmatic breaths where you inhale using your ribs/abdomen which naturally relaxes your pelvic floor. You can also gently push out as you are describing

[u/RareEarthMagnets → u/implication-sofa]

Can confirm. Apparently it’s possible to prevent yourself from getting orgasms by overtoning your pelvic floor, causing your kegels to never fully relax. I have a therapeutic wand now to stretch my vaginal muscles while doing deep breathing exercises and trying to force my muscles to relax. T_T One day I’ll get to experience an orgasm…

[u/implication-sofa → u/RareEarthMagnets]

I’m right there with you 🙃 actually was cured through pelvic floor therapy and wand use but relapsed recently due to stress so back to the wand I go 🥲

[u/RareEarthMagnets → u/implication-sofa]

Thank you for giving me hope that the exercises will help! I need to be better about doing them and using the wand, and being a pessimist about it definitely doesn’t help. XD

[u/Used-Tumbleweed9734 → u/RareEarthMagnets]

What kind of wand? I’ve been dealing with excess tone/vaginismus, and I’ve been using dilators and small dildos. I also haven’t orgasmed. It’s good to get confirmation that the two things might be related, so the second might get better as I fix the first.

[u/RareEarthMagnets → u/Used-Tumbleweed9734]

Intimate Rose Pelvic Wand
The company is Intimate Rose. It’s thicker on the short end with a bit of a point to hit the shallower muscles right around the vagina, and a long thin end to hit the deeper muscles in your pelvic floor.
It’s used in conjunction with lube and breathing/relaxation exercises.
I would recommend consulting with a pelvic floor specialist physical therapist before use just to make sure it’s a good idea and to give you an idea of how to do the exercises properly—there’s a very informative instructional card that comes with the product, but it took my PT actually demonstrating on my arm the amount of pressure I should be applying with the device to make me realize how mean I had been to my pelvic floor (and why it cramped up so badly) when I attempted to use it the first time. (I was treating it like a deep tissue massage, where I look for a knot and then apply pressure to beat it into submission… pelvic floors don’t like that, it turns out)

[u/SignalAssistant2965 → u/implication-sofa]

Can really help men with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation problems

[u/Adventurous-Idea9463 → u/implication-sofa]

But how do you know which you have!?

[u/implication-sofa → u/Adventurous-Idea9463]

An evaluation by a pelvic floor physical Therapist is best but they both have different symptoms

[u/Maha_Imitation → u/Secretlysidhe]

Yes, but is it also possible to relax the muscles? Because OP wrote he usually doesn't have a hard time finishing, but this time he couldn't so easily.

[u/Secretlysidhe → u/Maha_Imitation]

This sounds like she tightened them. But yes, it’s also easy to relax them. I can push and pull with them. It’s the same muscles used in peeing - holding or stopping urinating is the pulling, and sometimes when trying to force myself to pee (like I know it’s going to be awhile before I get to a bathroom), I push down. Same muscles. I get a lot of practice outside sex, I imagine most women do.

Now you absolutely can work the muscles to tighten even more and do impressive things, but the very basic squeeze function isn’t that difficult and something most of us do outside the bedroom almost every day. Depends on how tight she squeezed him, but even working them isn’t that hard. I can sit at work and squeeze and release my kegals without anyone knowing and a lot of women just work on them like that. It’s only a few minutes a day. It can help with aging related or pregnancy related issues that cause accidentally peeing ourselves as we get older so a lot of us are aware and work on them. It’s not a huge secret.

[u/Peter5930 → u/Secretlysidhe]

It took my gf years to learn how to unclench them, she has kegels of steel and would crush my dick until it was sore and soft and spongy and couldn't get hard again. The closer she got to orgasm, the tighter it would get, like fighting against knots of muscle.

[u/Maha_Imitation → u/Secretlysidhe]

Thank you for your answer. I meant that as he usually finishes sooner, maybe she relaxed the muscles a lot so that he couldn't come and then squeezed them real tight so he could finish. I just wasn't aware that it was possible to relax them so much that like OP wrote, he couldn't come easily.

[u/Pussycat1976 → u/Maha_Imitation]

The pelvic floor muscles around the vaginal canal are usually already relaxed. But maybe there was a lot of lubrication that day, so OP didn't get as stimulated as usual.

[u/polyetc → u/Maha_Imitation]

The default is that they are relaxed. They tighten with orgasms but otherwise relaxed

[u/Secretlysidhe → u/Maha_Imitation]

Well for me, it often feels like I could wag a tail if there was one attached, if that helps. Also I believe men have similar muscles to move their penises. So yes, you can relax and tighten.

[u/Adventurous-Idea9463 → u/Secretlysidhe]

I feel like I can squeeze easily to stop/start urine, but it doesn’t squeeze the same on a dick. Or maybe I’m just used to them being a bigger size?

[u/Secretlysidhe → u/Adventurous-Idea9463]

Bigger should make them feel it a bit, require less tight squeezing, I think. It could be that you haven’t worked it much outside that. It doesn’t require much - just sit there and do that same motion for a few minutes a day.

[u/Nasinu → u/Secretlysidhe]

Check out r/pompoir for advice on proper training , techniques and more.

[u/Select-Owl-8322 → u/Secretlysidhe]

/*Kegel

I know it's a bit petty to correct spellings, and I don't usually do it, but it's actually named after a person, Arnold Kegel, and to me it's respectful to spell people's name correctly.

Also, absolutely agree! Definitely kegels! She's probably been doing Kegel exercises!

[u/yinyang107 → u/Select-Owl-8322]

Doing that whole spiel makes corrections way more obnoxious, just go "(Kegel)" and move on