After a decade long journey with my bisexuality and my self-confidence and also just life in general, I have reached a point where I have no fucks left to give. So I have been making (sometimes absurd and flat out false) statements to my homophobic midwestern side of the family simply to get a rise out of them, and the reactions are pure comedy.

An example: I just got back from a wedding where I saw about half my large extended family in the Midwest. One evening I was watching POTC with my cousins and remembered a hilarious comment I saw online. I turned to them and very seriously said “you know, I’m surprised you guys picked this movie. Did you know watching Pirates of the Caribbean makes you bisexual?”

Confusion and outrage. My cousin C asked in a horrified tone “why would you even say something like that?”

Keep in mind these are people in their late twenties. We finished the movie, but I suspect it will be the last time C ever watches it. A shame for him, because nearly every character in POTC is eye candy.

Other fun things I said on that trip that caused consternation include:

- bisexual people make on average 2x as much money as straight people

- 1/3 of the population is actually bisexual, a new survey discovered this

- Trump is a confirmed bisexual, he came out to Bill Clinton on video

- my cat is bisexual (this was actually a true statement)

Should I be spreading deliberate misinformation to my homophobic family? Heck if I know, but it’s made my often-painful, obligatory visits a lot more fun, and I shall continue. The trick is to make up something false that sounds plausible, and then watch them struggle with it.

Every time I see a bi woman looking for community in or advice on wanting to focus on dating women and non-men more, deprioritize dating men, or they just don’t want to date men anymore on here or on other social media or irl there’s someone suggesting polyamory like that’s the “solution to the problem” they weren’t even asking for advice on.

I’ve seen this too many times and it’s kinda getting to a point. Every time I see one of those posts I can’t look in the comments without atleast a couple ppl saying things like “just be someone’s unicorn” “well you don’t have to limit yourself to just women” “maybe what you’re really looking for is a bf that lets you be with women on the side so you don’t feel like you’re missing out”. It’s is genuinely getting weird. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being poly but suggesting it in response to queer woman specifically saying she wants to focus on queer dating and is mentioning no interest in wanting to explore polyamory feels very misogynistic and predatory.

It’s like ppl are uncomfortable seeing a woman who wants to live a life without men as the focus/a focus or center of her dating pool. A lot of bi women have been pushed to only date men and decenter/hide their queerness in their youth for obvious reasons so it makes sense that now that some of them have the chance to focus on queer dating they’d want to shift the focus and explore their identity especially since the male dating pool is so huge. If you don’t lock in and focus on queer dating it’s easy to never have any experiences. 9 times out of 10 you do have to go out of your way to find queer women and non-men to date its kind of rare for it to just fall in your lap randomly like it does with men.

But anyway just please stop doing that. If she’s looking for poly advice then that’s amazing but if she’s simply expressing the fact that she wants to focus on being with women or non men or she doesn’t see herself being with a man happily longterm but can imagine herself with a woman and your first instinct is to suggest polyamory pls just stop and investigate where that urge is coming from. Also bisexuality and polyamory don’t have an inherent link. I believe suggesting that they do feeds into some harmful stereotypes about bisexuality as well. So suggesting this to someone who is giving off monogamous vibes is harmful for that reason as well.

I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I recently found out that many of my very close relatives are bisexual. How many, you ask? Five cousins, my older sister, and I also learned that an uncle of mine—who passed away a long time ago—was bisexual and had many relationships with both men and women. And here I was thinking there was no one else like me, only to discover all these people who are just like me without me even realizing it. I also have a lesbian cousin; I used to think she was bi too, but it turned out she wasn't—she had simply been with men due to pressure—whereas her daughter (another cousin of mine) is one of the bi people I know. I don't know how likely this is, but—WTF? It’s not a bad thing, but for some reason, I don't quite see it as a good thing either. Don't get me wrong; I'm just so astonished that I can't quite make up my mind about it. But what I can say for sure is that, at the very least, I feel relieved.

I recently listened to a podcast about how to signal to others that you are bi, and they had no answers. Only a mention about lemon bars and cuffing your jeans. Which to me sounds absurd. They said the best way to signal is to just wear a bisexual flag pin. Which isn't signaling so much as it is proclaiming.

I thought about it quite a bit on my own.

People often look at a man and make a judgement, straight or gay. Or, if a woman, straight or lesbian. The judgement itself erases bisexuality and all those it encompasses. I found out, that I was even doing it to some degree.

My conclusion is, there should not be any signaling for any sexual identity/preference. If you want people to know, you have to accept proclaiming it and what comes with it. Or, accept that fact you will continually be judged incorrectly.

In a perfect world, nobody would assume anything. If you see someone you are attracted to you take your shot. If they say I'm only interested in (sex other than yours), then you accept the rejection and move on. It would just be one of those, you're not my type situations we would all become accustom too. Like, sorry I'm just really into tall women, or I'm only attracted to nerdy artists.

But, we don't live in a perfect world. So I think we are stuck with proclaiming or being silent.

Signaling seems like it would be nice for those who are only partially out, but I think eventually people can see through signals, and then those you don't ant to know will know.

Two cents?

I recently realized I was gay because I have felt zero (or nearly zero) sexual attraction to girls my entire life, yet I feel it strongly for guys. But when I was growing up I would always crush on girls, and I would fall in love hard to the point I would lose meals and sleep over being lovesick over them. I even shortly talked to this one girl I really liked and I've never felt as in love as I did with her, or had the same rush I did when I went on dates with her. I couldn't keep my eyes off her, but sexually nothing was there.

I still feel it sometimes, when I'm talking to a really cool or attractive girl or if a girl starts flirting with me, I fall in love and I want to take her out and be close to her and kiss her. But there's no sexual or erotic urge at all. I don't know what this means, I used to say I was bi but that's probably not true if I can't get hard for shit around girls. It sucks because I've not felt the same romantic rush I've felt for girls for guys.

Has anyone experienced anything similar?

I'm 26M and my best friend is also 26M and I've always thought both of us are straight but that kiss was anything but.

Life has had me by the throat lately and I've been a shitty friend. I know it's not an excuse but I'm not being absent from his life because I want to be.

Anyway, he came over last night and picked a fight which devolved and he started wanting to get a reaction out of me since I'm level headed in a fight but he gets really heated up and then he kissed me.

I did kiss him back but to be fair I was too damn confused to think in the moment and then he left without another word. Just ran the fuck away.

Now that I've had time to think about it and it's not as fresh, I don't hate it but I have nothing to compare it to. Comparing it to a woman's is incomparable. To top it off, he's not answering my calls. I sent him a text telling him that it's alright, we'll figure everything out and still nothing.

He's been my best friend since we were 12 and I'm not going to allow anything to mess with that but I have no idea how to fix it either. Advice?

I just want to find a place where we can talk openly about our desires and interests without embarrassment.

I’m a guy who regularly wears sleeveless crops, nail polish, cuffed jeans, bracelets, the whole queerdo bi-guy package. But I always felt there was something missing. The septum piercing, of course. I made an appointment and it’s going in this Thursday! Somebody stop me before I become an actual stereotype! 🩷💜💙

I'm a 46 year old man who has long wondered what it would be like to be with a man, but only recently feel like I'm ready to go out and experience it. But I don't want to just get on an app and find a random hookup for my first time. I'd rather meet someone who took the time to get to know me, flirt a little, show genuine interest, and then when it happens, it feels natural and safe. I don't want to just rush into it and then get tossed aside by the wrong guy.

My question is, when you first started exploring, was it just hookups? Did you look for someone, or just meet people and found someone who clicked?

Am I just being romantic about it? Is it realistic to find someone like that, to "save myself" for someone?

I've been calling myself bisexual (biromantic homoflexible, more specifically) for a while now. But recently I started feeling like I was lying every time I said it.

Here's the thing. I'm strongly drawn to women in fiction. Romantically, sexually, all of it. But I've never actually felt that pull toward a woman in real life. And I kept comparing myself to other bi people who've dated women, and thinking: maybe I'm just straight and making things up.

That's been eating at me for a while. Today I finally talked it through with someone, and I landed somewhere different: I think questioning is a better fit for me right now. Not because I gave up on figuring it out, but because I'm okay with not having the answer yet.

To be clear, I do still feel sexual attraction toward women in general. I just think the specifics will become clearer with time, and once I've actually had some real-life experience.

Honestly it feels lighter. I was putting myself on trial every day, and I'm not doing that anymore.

Still hanging around here if that's okay. This sub has meant a lot to me.

This sounds kind of ridiculous that I’m just coming to terms with this now, but I’m 28M and recently discovered I’m maybe bisexual(?) and in love with my childhood friend(29M). I’ve only been with women in the past, so I’m coming to terms with my possible bisexuality.
Please be nice to me, this is incredibly vulnerable for me and I just need some guidance.

My friend and I have been friends since we were in the 4th grade. Reflecting on the past, I realized I’ve always had this on-and-off crush on him, the childhood wonder kind. Not sure why I overlooked this, I just thought about it now.

Since then, we have really been inseparable and moved in together about 3 years ago. I guess that’s when I realized I enjoyed his company more than just a friend would. I miss him a lot when he’s away, I enjoy his company beyond belief, and love when we have those deep, nostalgic talks. It doesn’t feel very platonic to me and I’m pretty sure this is love on my end. I feel like I could live with him like this forever.

I’m just confused. I have only been attracted to women in my life prior. He’s the only guy I’ve found attractive in my whole life, I’ve never felt this way towards another guy besides him.

I just know this isn’t straight, and I’m ok with that. I’ve always been supportive of the lgbt community, I guess I’m just not used to being apart of it and maybe need some advice? Support? I’m just not sure how to go about this situation either.

So I 20M, have been bicurious for a while now, and have had sex with multiple girls but my interest in men has grown, especially after dabbling into gay porn here and there. So i decided to bite the bullet and download grindr. It was kind of discouraging at first because of the old disgusting men, but i found two people who are willing to hookup.

Both of them are trans women, so i hope this makes my transition easier. Anything i should know beforehand?

First time posting

I don't know if this is a bisexual thing or just because of where I live, I just needed somewhere to ask this

But do all of you make a lot of religious friends, and I mean fully religious, like they wouldn't support your sexuality. Because I have made sooo many religious friends, some that know my sexuality, others that don't, and I feel like it can't just be a coincidence, right?

So I wanted to ask if ya'll also make a lot of religious friends and what wacky stories yall have about this.

Edit: (to add just in case, I do not want to bring hate to any religion or idk how to say it im not good with words, I respect all religions and beliefs.... yeah) (I'm so beautiful with words)

I so fucked.
I am a bi girl who is not ready to coming out of the closet, however, some people know that I like girls. Recently, I start having feelings for my classmate and she is a Christian, who strongly believes in God. She wears a custom cross necklace, reposts videos about the Bible and God on her social media, and is even following priests on Instagram. She also follows a girl who used to identify as a male until she “found God” according to her, and now posts about her “recovery” and how she is female again.

Why does fate hate me so much???

It has been a long time since I had romantic feelings for someone. I thought it would continue until I graduated, but one day everything changed.

All this happened because of her stupid ring on a thumb. After one of our classes, we were waiting to be dismissed, and she accidentally leaned against my desk with her hand. And then I saw that ring…
For a second, everything in my head just froze. It felt like time had stopped. I stared at the ring and just froze. At first, like an idiot, in my head I blurted out: “Lesbian?) hah, cool)) didn’t know” And then realisation heated me, “Lesbian?..…”
After that moment, the way I looked at her completely changed. It was like something in my brain that had been locked away suddenly unlocked. And I start looking at her with totally different eyes. Maybe it sounds cliche, but I can’t resist it. After that day, I started noticing little things, like the way she was stending very close to me in a line for a pictures, and how much taller she was. How my heart started beating faster. Or how her imperfect smile by beauty standards appeared cute and beautiful to me. The way she looked at me when we were close, and our eyes met for just a second.

Usually I stick to an office-style look, wear heels, do my hair, put on makeup, and make sure I smell good. But one day, apparently, the way I looked caught her attention. And when we walked past each other, she looked me UP AND DOWN AND THEN BACK UP!! and called me “gorgeous” with slight smile and surprise on her face. I literally jumped for joy right there. I CLEARLY saw that “up and down” look, and my heart stopped. Then there was another compliment when I was standing by the mirror next to her. (As if I didn’t intentionally go stand there just for that.) but anyways.
I even envied her to my club and gave her a position as a board member to spend more time with her.

So, it got me thinking if she even likes girls knowing her religious roots. I started asking people,but the results weren’t exactly encouraging. Nobody knows of her ever having anyone, and no one has ever seen her with anyone either. (Probably, only her bff knows.)
At the same time, she kind of gives off the vibe that she might like girls. There’s definitely something there, but it’s not obvious enough for me to say for sure.

I’m scared to ask her directly because then all of my previous actions might suddenly look selfish. Like, I didn’t invite her into my club because I genuinely think she’d be a great leader, but because I want to kiss her.
And I’m also not ready for everyone to know that I’m into girls, because what if people start making fun of me or bullying me?
I genuinely don’t know what to do or how to get her attention. Every time I’m around her, I get the feeling that she couldn’t care less. Meanwhile, I’m over here trying to sneak glances at her, and she acts like I don’t even exist.

I (M19) have lived openly gay for a few years now. In my early teens I’ve kissed a few girls but it never went any further.

Recently I was invited to a friend‘s birthday party and a close female friend of mine was there too. I’ve known her for a few years and I’ve always thought she was pretty (not in a sexual way so far).

We both drank A LOT and in the morning I lay down on my friend‘s couch. Most of the other guests were gone at that point but the girl was still there. I don’t remember much but she kind of snuggled up next to me and we both fell asleep like that.

When I first woke up I kind of felt stuff that I’ve only felt with guys before (if u know what I mean). I also realised that she had taken off her skirt and we were basically cuddling in underwear.

When we both woke up we got dressed again and never really talked about it. Ever since this situation is on my mind 24/7. I‘m reeeaaaally confused. I mean she knows I‘m gay (at least I thought so) and we‘re pretty close friends. I kind of feel an urge to explore this side of me since that happened but I don’t want to ruin our friendship. What’s my next move? Anybody had a similar bi awakening? Also: Is it normal for a girl to cuddle like that with her gay friend?

I’m 19F
in school I had boyfriends and we did silly stuff like bj and hj but idk I always seems to think about the older woman

its weird I thought I had a crush on my female friend for like 2 years and when we finally kissed I felt nothing and just like that the crush was over it’s like I enjoy the high of waiting it but when I have it I don’t want it like d turns me on occasionally

I’m not sure if I would actually date a woman I think the idea of it does more for then the reality of it but I tend to have dreams about woman not men but I’m not really bothered about either gender but i prefer lesbian p videos

Also I was obsessed with my college teacher she was mmmm like Dammm but now she looks weird im not sure what’s going on with me lol any ideas

Mind you, we’re both proudly nonbinary and we do appear as a cishet couple (I refuse to use AGAB language to describe us because that doesn’t matter) and we’re also bisexual. We were invited to a game night and everyone there was queer. However there was some jokes that referred to me and my girlfriend as “the classic bi woman and her gamer boyfriend” and we had to correct them that we’re both nonbinary, I’m not a woman and he’s not a man. And one of the people there were like:

“Yeah but you guys look like that kind of couple though!”

The fact that people are getting more comfortable being biphobic AND transphobic is beyond me.

EDIT: Thank you all for your kind words and advice. Yes this did upset me however nothing in this world will stop me from being bisexual and nonbinary. It is a beautiful and freeing piece of my identity to accept in my life and I refuse to let anyone convince me that it isn’t. 🩷💜💙💛🤍💜🖤

EDIT 2: “How were they being transphobic if you two are nonbinary?” Guys……..guys. Are we deadass.

right now is the best time to say how i feel about him. i always show the real me at night and right now it’s midnight. i have a friend, he’s like my best friend because i don’t have other friends. i’m F16 he’s M17, we’re both punks. we met a few months ago then we became closer. at first i didn’t like him, i didn’t like any men. but he made me believe that i was actually bisexual (i was unsure) and he’s also bisexual. i’ve never dated anyone, i’m a virgin in literally everything even in holding hands, he knows it. he has lots of sexual experiences, and has 2 exes. i only have a situationship who was a girl, but besides that? NOTHING. he’s perfect in all ways, he’s caring, sweet, beautiful, and gentle. i don’t see any issues in him, he’s tall and talented, good music taste and we’re similar in a lot of things! we always flirt and stuff but i don’t know if it’s serious to him, i don’t know if he talks like that to all of his friends (i don’t think so) but deep down i feel so so insecure. because i don’t know his type in girls..and i don’t use makeup (i only do it for my eyes) and i’m not a “feminine” type of girl. on the other hand i don’t even care about what men think and i don’t like them but for him is different. i never change myself or anything in front of him, i’m myself but i still feel self conscious. to be honest he’s the only man i trust or ever loved, idk if i’m in love but i really really hope it doesn’t make me go insane if we ever start dating. i mean we didn’t do anything and i already catch feelings so imagine if we actually do something. he’s my baby i wanna hold him and kiss him all over his face because he deserves the best things ever )): he doesn’t feel handsome..but to me he’s the most handsome boy i’ve ever seen. HIS BLUE EYES ARE SO CUTE AND I LOVE HIS CHEEKS AWEEW MY BABY

According to a survеy commissioned by ManyVids published in 2020, over three in five porn actresses identify as bi or pan. The adult video platform polled around 1,500 porn actresses and found that 44% identify as bisexual, 22% identify as pansexual, 26% identify as straight and 2% identify as gay.

One studу conducted in 2013 by psychologists at Shippensburg University in Pennsylvania found that around two thirds of their group of 177 female porn stars identified as bisexual. I don't support the porn industry, but I'm interested in the reasons for this phenomenon

Around a month ago I, after months of being stuck thinking about myself, life and how I got to the point I was at I realised that, after years of heavy repression, I was very bi (among a lot of other things but that isn’t the focus lol).

A week or two after I came out to my two closest friends who were extremely accepting and then with the help of one of them I came out to the rest of my friend group a few days ago and once again they were all extremely accepting

But now after all that I find the voice that is in my head from my years of repression refusing to let me accept myself truly. So I’m just looking for advice on how to actually accept myself if anyone has answers that could help that would be appreciated :)

TLDR: I don't know my sexuality, a very original post I'm sure 🥲

First of all, I'm a girl for the sake of clarity. I grew up with a reasonably supportive family and school who often talked about the existence of LGBT people, and how it was ok to love whoever you wanted. but there was always an undertone that while being LGBT was ok, it wasn't...desirable. like it wasn't bad, but it wasn't ideal, though that was never explicitly said. so naturally I've internalised the idea that being LGBT was something I should accept when it's other people, but not something I should be myself

in regards to my sexuality, I never suspected for a minute that I was anything other than straight when I was younger. in fact, the only thing I know for sure about my sexuality is that I've had a crush on a few boys before: a handful in primary school and one in secondary school. I've also dated two boys, but I don't think I actually had a crush on them... hopefully you will understand and don't think I'm a horrible person

but as for whether I like girls, I really don't know. I feel like it should be obvious, like I can tell for the most part when I've had a crush on a guy, but I can't for girls. in some ways, the evidence seems to point to yes because I've been quite obsessed over girls and I've imagined situations with them like hugging them and things. BUT the reason I'm doubting this is because I think this is limerence. Well I know it's limerance, but I don't know if it's also a crush. There's a girl who I think is really cool at the moment kinda obsessively but I would never imagine anything more than friendship with her so I'm pretty sure it's not a crush. I'm also quite confused about whether crushes on girls and boys are supposed to feel the same or different or can be either. if it is a crush, it certainly feels different to me. don't even get me started on deciding whether I like girls or boys more cause how do you even compare that

I don't know if my doubt is purely due to internalised homophobia, because I feel like I'm quite open minded and would be willing to accept myself as bisexual. that is, if I actually knew that I was bisexual. I just wish I knew and could move on with my life. anyone relate...?

So I'm 30m and about to get married to my 30f partner who I love dearly and is the mother of my children. I'm bi. I think I always knew but never really accepted it due to family values and outside perception. My problem is that I'm too far into my relationship to drop this bombshell without it imploding my life. I just feel really lonely not having anyone in my circle to talk to about this. I'm not trying to explore or cheat and I'm happy in my relationship I just wish I could share my feelings and not being judged.