holy coww, they appear so soft and nourishing...

I recently realized I was gay because I have felt zero (or nearly zero) sexual attraction to girls my entire life, yet I feel it strongly for guys. But when I was growing up I would always crush on girls, and I would fall in love hard to the point I would lose meals and sleep over being lovesick over them. I even shortly talked to this one girl I really liked and I've never felt as in love as I did with her, or had the same rush I did when I went on dates with her. I couldn't keep my eyes off her, but sexually nothing was there.

I still feel it sometimes, when I'm talking to a really cool or attractive girl or if a girl starts flirting with me, I fall in love and I want to take her out and be close to her and kiss her. But there's no sexual or erotic urge at all. I don't know what this means, I used to say I was bi but that's probably not true if I can't get hard for shit around girls. It sucks because I've not felt the same romantic rush I've felt for girls for guys.

Has anyone experienced anything similar?

For me mines was any version of a threesome but I don’t think that’s possible anymore which I’m totally fine with.

I swear nothing feels better than the first insertion of the session.

Yeah, I make myself cum while riding toys but that initial slip of the tip and glide down the length of the shaft is so incredibly euphoric.

It’s even better the more prominent the tip is, the way my hole hugs the girth so tightly as it slips and forms around the shape.

A brief pause while taking it all in before literally taking it all in, slowly gliding down all 10 inches of the 2” thick shaft all the way to the balls.

Feeling completely stuffed and leaking before even riding the toy.

What compares to this feeling?!

Anytime I’ve seen any other dads say they were bisexual it seemed like they were swingers and whatnot lol. I’m bisexual myself and kinda private about it although there are hints if you really look but I am strictly faithful. I’ve been considering not making some huge announcement about it but going on an “if they ask” basis. I was pretty scared about people finding out when I was younger obviously but at this point it doesn’t seem like a huge deal and I’m keeping it private as the stigma and any embarrassment would mostly probably fall more heavily on my wife. I’m still a man who loves his wife and provides for his family.

Hey Bros,

As someone who has seen their fair share of content over the years, I have definitely seen a high level of bisexual representation in studio and independent content creators over the years which is great to see. Although, most of them are in opposite gender relationships which got me thinking, are there any who are homo or biromantic and in same sex relationships that enjoy doing crossover content? I know of one couple who does (Drake and Mark LAX) both are bisexual and are/were in a relationship. Are there any others who you’ve read about that are homoromantic or biromantic (bi) men that are visible?

P.S. the purpose here is to understand if there is more visibility for bi men in same sex relationships through representation that has a focus on content (adult) but is not limited to that. It could be anything where there’s visibility of both the relationship and the individual identity of the partners (eg same sex couples comprising of one bi, one gay or both bi partners)

Thanks.

I've seen a lot about bests and firsts, but nothing about worsts.

Mine was a hookup, abd I'm not entierly sure what the guy's deal was. He didn't talk at all. I mean, at all. The hookup was online, email only. Bit I presumed could speak. He could certainly hear.

It was good sexually, but weird otberwise,and thinkung about it later the lack of basic communication verbally made it terrible.

How about you all?

Ahhh where do I begin…there’s this guy and I can’t really stop thinking about him (istg someone help me please). Context: I’m a bi guy who’s recently moved to a different country for a masters degree. Back home, being bi was my biggest nightmare. I had to forcefully come out to my parents and it didn’t go well. All of us were traumatised and it still scares me (therapy is helping :) )Anyways, I see him all the time at the uni and everywhere…he’s so f gorgeous. Everything about him. I just need him so bad. I want to ask him out but how do I know if he’s into guys :=(. I’ve stalked him everywhere to get a hint. But I hate my brain because it’s so good at making scenarios. I just don’t want to mess this up. Can people here hype me up or share their successful stories so I get the balls to approach him? Ahhhh so many feelings running into my body :,)

For me, part of the allure of going with another guy is the difference in dynamic. From the domineering nature of being a guy 'giving' to a woman to the submissive nature of bottoming to a guy and my personal fantasies involve the more submissive the better to a point where I want to serve (maybe even more than one) 'master'.

My question is this, for 'straight' guys who are used to being the naturally dominant hetero guy going to be the opposite for real does it take some getting used to?

Fantasising about something is one thing but what is the transition from 'normal' to preferring a completely different dynamic like?

I suppose a man who tries to be submissive with a woman (getting pegged etc) is a similar thing too so even if someone has experience with that.

It's great to read all of your stories and experiences, especially the "I married someone for a family" u/PTG79 thread, that one hit my core. It addresses a theme that's stopping me from going into relationships. I get easily overwhelmed by a lot of input and have been trying to heal in the places where I've lived, so this is a first. I've never reached out to a community like this before.

I've been experimenting with bisexuality for 10 years and have been incredibly confused by the fluidity of my attractions while simultaneously having to justify and defend my sexuality to my family. For most of my life I've gone to therapy, and it has been helpful and insightful, with some unfortunate bi-negative advice on the way, but fortunately I had friends who could give me better support.

Currently don't have a partner and have been struggling with staying in relationships. One of my biggest dreams is to have kids, hopefully if the gods allow, a kid of my own, if not adopting one with my future partner, if I get that too. I think ENM is the way for me to go, but it hasn't worked out with my previous partners, even if we talked openly about it. I'm at a stage in my life where I bump into a lot of friends who have kids, and it feels humiliating not to have a family of my own. In an alternative reality I imagine, meeting a partner and having kids. It feels inevitable that I'll have to compromise romantic love for the family to work, at least that's what I'm thinking now. It seems unrealistic to have a fully functioning relationship and kids at the same time. This perspective is black and white, but I can't get out of this loop, and it stops me from engaging with people. I need help but don't know who to ask.

Self-acceptance is difficult for me, and I would love to watch videos or read about the struggles of BI men. Therapist recommendations (EU-based) are welcome too. I'd be happy to hear how you balance loving yourself and others, experiences and insights.

Thanks for reading this!

I’ve (28) been talking with this guy (25/26) on and off for maybe three years now. He’s… different. We’ve hung out a few times and when we do it’s pretty chill and then towards the end we slowly massage each other and then maybe start making out. We go some months without talking sometimes. This happens every once in a while, especially since he lives far. I feel like when I go a long time without watching porn i revert to talking to him over snap. He apparently is always horny (like 24/7 according to him) and he said that he gets hard by just sending me snaps of his boner, but he hasnt made it clear that it’s ME that he’s getting horny to. He has said that it makes him feel horny / sexy when he shows himself to me. One day i was actually irritable and told him i wasn’t trying to see snaps of his dick and he kept sending them! I cut him off for a while after that because like, wtf?

Fast forward to earlier this year, i reach back out to him because i did miss talking to him and still thought he was attractive. Sometimes i hint at coming over to workout together and chill with him and he doesn’t really invite me over to make out or anything or he says he doesn’t know when. The last time i did go over to workout with him he was too high to workout and wasn’t responsive to me when i hinted at cuddling while he watched Game of Thrones. I ended up leaving after about two hours since nothing was happening. We exchange snaps in our underwear from time to time and it’s mainly teasing with captions like “man, I haven’t bust in a while” or “don’t know what to do about this(boner)”. I was going back and forth with him but got tired of the teasing and I began wondering if he’s really just being egotistical with his snaps and playing games.

Update : so for about a month or so I stopped engaging with most of his snaps (which were mostly of his crotch, an every other day thing) and just began answering his generic questions about the day and that. And today he finally asks, “why don’t you respond to my snaps? lol” .. 🤦🏽‍♂️I told him it’s random and doesn’t make sense (about the snaps of his crotch half naked). He gaslights me with “oh ok, I’ll send them when the imaginary pre-requisites have been met”. I respond with , “or just stop sending them.” This guy is such a dick and so self-absorbed , I really want to go into why the exchange is pointless and the kind of person that he is, but it probably isn’t even worth it smh . I feel like I’m in the twilight zone. I am definitely done with him and deleted him off Snapchat, but man, this was such a weird and confusing experience.

I recently came out as bi to my fiancé and she was very supportive being bi herself. However since coming out, I’m no longer suppressing that side of myself. Before being with her I’d meet up with guys but I’d always be discreet about it, but now I find myself regretting it and wanting to do it all over again but this time being “out”. I get urges to be with men every once in a while and recently they have been getting stronger. I want to ask her if I can go and have sex with guys on the side when I get these urges but I don’t want to lose her. I love her very much and she is my soulmate, but these urges are getting too powerful. How do I keep my relationship with her while also getting to explore my sexuality?

My first ever love interest and sexual experience could have been a BL novella. It was every kind of sweet, loving, and innocent thing you would imagine it to be. Not only was it a wonderful way to be introduced to my sexuality it is a memory of the kind of thing love can be when society doesn’t get in the way.

The BL genre is supposed to mirror something like that and to be a feature of the female gaze. For those who don’t know the female gaze is theorized to be a counterpoint to the male gaze. If the male gaze objectifies and sexualizes female bodies the female gaze supposedly humanizes, nuances, and respects the subjects it gazes upon. The thing is… I don’t think that’s what actually happens.

The female gaze, as typified in the BL genre, more often sanitizes love and sex into a kind of emotional jelly that serves as a means to make male sexuality free from anything that might seem threatening or agentic. True, BL media can sometimes have compelling characters with nuance and agency but far more often they serve as a means to make mlm sexuality palatable for female arousal.

My experience was the kind of thing BL could be, or should be. Something that shows a love that flowers in spite of everything society might say about it, something that shows the depth of the love men have for each other, and that sometimes speaks to a world that might be incomprehensible to the female gaze.

The love I had with my first love, his face when it was in my hands, his smell when I layed next to him, that was meant for us alone. But the lesson of what that kind of love can speak to the world is something for everyone who ever wondered about mlm love.

What would you call a straight woman who is only attracted to bisexual men? Is there a term for it, or would you simply say straight woman who prefers bi men? And where is the best places to meet bisexual men?

Question is as it stands. Outside of sex are there aspects to bi community and life that you actively enjoy? Would you change it if you could?

I just want to remind everybody who doesn't already know - September is Bisexuality Awareness Month and September 23rd is Bisexuality Day! Lets Celebrate! Let's be proud of who we are!

TLDR: Went on a trip with my wife. On the way up a hiking trail, I saw this topless muscular handsome man from another tour group. The next day, woke up dreaming about him with a raging boner.

Full story [Wholesome only]:

One can try to deny so much, but your body and hormones cannot be fooled. Since I was a kid growing up in a pretty conservative community, I've always suppressed my sexual attraction to men than women because I had been made to believe there is no way a boy/man should. But the body cannot be fooled. When it's attracted to something, it responds accordingly.

My wife and I went on this casual wholesome tour over a couple of days. It had a lot of activities, and one of which involved a beach tour which had an option to hike up the top of island. We were part of one tour group and on the way to this island, we have to merge with more tour groups into a larger ship.

While on board the ship, I have noticed a group of tourists and one handsome guy caught my eye. He has long curly hair and I can see he's fit and muscular wearing a gray tank top and shorts, looking like a modern cliche Greek God IMO. He's looking cool with a hat on, shades, and an interesting earing on his left ear. My wife knows I'm bi, but other than prostate play, we haven't explored anything else. So this is just a casual appreciation of another beautiful person.

Once on the island, my wife and I went on an opted to go for the hike immediately to avoid the crowds. When we reach the top to rest and soak in the beauty of the view, I noticed this handsome guy and his group also coming by a couple of people behind us. The heat of the sun and perspiration from climbing up the peak made him removed his top. As he makes his way up the area, I was positioned to have a good angle and enough time to see his muscular body work its way up the hike.

He looked so goddamn beautiful! Particularly, I got engrossed in the details of his chest. He has about 2 days worth of hair growth in the pecs that gives it a nice outline. He had prominent pointed nipples. It was between a shade of pinkish brown, and has a nice bounce. I found it very sexy that he is muscular, but not too lean. Since the way up is a bit of a challenge, he naturally needed to stretch out, flex and put his muscles to good use towards reaching the peak. Apart from the views of the island, this sexy man really made the way up all worth the effort.

My wife probably noticed him, too, as many others would have. But with the exhaustion and the tour schedule, we went on the day as how the tour would.

The next day, I had such a vivid dream of this handsome man. In my dream I was courageous enough to talk to him and tell him about how I find his chest amazingly sexy. He was generous enough to pose and let me feel them. He was very casual and open about it. Then, I asked him if I could get to feel and suck his nipples. He graciously led me on and even offered to run down my hand on to his abs towards his groin. Then I snapped out of it, woke up hugged onto my wife with such a raging hard on! It was funny and hot at the same time! If only that's as easy as it could get in real life! LOL.

I realized, thankfully I don't need to hide nor pretend with my wife that I'm "straight" because no matter what I do or say to myself to deny my male sexual attraction, my body won't let me otherwise. The hormones will flow when they need to flow.

‘S’ and I have been friends with benefits for about a year now. But I want more than just the occasional suck and fuck and thought that we were beginning to form a friendship with the potential for something more intimate.
Last Saturday he was very vulnerable with me sharing some deep feelings. Since then he’s been complete radio silence.
I can only assume he regrets being open and, frankly emotional with me. But it was exactly what I was hoping for.
I have come to accept that he’s just not ready or able to have a relationship,even if it’s a close friendship with me and I’m sad.
Finding a bi guy who is a match sexually for me and my wife. is hard enough, it’s 1000 times harder to find someone you like as a person and want to spend time with. I’m not looking forward to the apps and meet-and-greets again.

45m married, but lately have been very curious about sucking cock and being dominated by a man(respectfully) and being penetrated orally and anally. Sometimes my wife will use a dildo on me and I love it!! But I want to know what a real cock feels like. I can’t say I’m attracted to men but the thought of a cock just makes me want to do all the dirty things my mind makes up. I have done some chats and vid calls with some bros, and I cum so fast from the excitement, does that get better? Am I the only one?

I’m an out and proud bisexual male in his 30s in a monogamous relationship with an incredible woman (4 years and counting). Aside from normal curiosity/fantasies, I have no real desires to be with another woman, and I’m completely satisfied with my fiancee. That said, over the last two years I’ve had a growing anxiety stemming from having my sexual needs met; with woman I’m a dominant top, with men I’m a submissive bottom. My preference for either gender meets a sexual desire completely removed from the other. They are effectively two different things that happen to both be sexual (even how I express myself romantically is different with each). I have been told I have a problem, that I am a selfish man who just wants to cheat, that most bisexuals don’t feel this way, that I am polyamorous, or that I have a deep seated personality disorder, etc. etc.

The truth is, I am about to marry the love of my life and I want to address this problem before I we say “I do.” Thankfully she is my biggest cheerleader and was the one who pressed me into seeking out therapy. Reddit and other social media will confuse and shame you and I think that largely stems from our current lack of any real tangible understanding of bisexuality. I found a therapist who specializes in queer men and Im putting in the work. If you need to lasso a bull, get a real cowboy.

If you have similar struggles and have the means to find a therapist, please do so. I will be documenting my experience here (and probably r/bisexualmen) for others to hopefully take something from. Stop worrying about “perpetuating stereotypes” and stop engaging in the trending “debates” about bisexual men. Get help, insight, understanding whatever. Take care of yourself.

P.S. I would really like to hear from others in this sub who are feeling the same. Not debating monogamy or stereotypes but rather just share similar experiences, good or bad.

There the title say is at all

Im bi/pan w lately a more male preferance but after being dumped by my first ever situationship amd later realizing he hooked up w a guy that I WAS ALSO hooking up i just said pretty much yea fuck men

There were times even back then that fantasized about women(hell even more women) but I still SOOOO focused on this guy

Not looking for meet and greet just wanna know hoe you feel abt this? Any similar excepriences

Some people liked reading my last experience. Have plenty never thought to post but anyways my wife is super supportive and right now i've been bi-cycling hard! So we had a heart to heart laying in bed last night.

She had asked me which I preferred , her straddling me or me straddling her, in reference to my last post here. I told her I didn't know why it had to be one over the other and that it all turns me on and I asked if she remembered how hard I was which she did

So last night she was going to suck on my nipples, it gets me off and if we aren't having sex she gets me off like that a lot. but last night we had talked about how I wished she would have me suck the dildo and mfm mmf talk type stuff to which she admitted she liked more things about "us"

So I told her if she indulged other aspects of me I could ease up on that talk. So she started licking my nipple and sucking and it felt good. That was going a bit then she started massaging my chest and I let her know how much I liked it. I've always had thoughts she might be a little bi and after things we had mentioned with sub stuff etc I said "suck them like tits babe" and she started squeezing two hands really sucking my nipples getting into it and I said "make me your bitch babe" she pushed me down by the throat and was sucking harder licking all over my chest, nipple to nipple, she was moaning during it too.

I was letting out all sorts of moans, jerking myself pulling her into my nipples more the whole time it was so hot and i felt so submissive then she started letting me suck her fingers and fuck I think that got us both going, I came quickly after

she woke up this morning and I massaged her down entirely and let her know if she treats me more Ill do the same. she definitely seemed to like being dominant and the tits thing but who knows. I just like being submissive and sensual, almost sapphic sex

sorry so long

I’m 30 and it’s really only been this year that I’ve started being properly honest with myself about my sexuality.
I liked women when I was younger and at some point during my teenage years I started liking men too. I spent a lot of time trying to fight it or just be oblivious to it. Looking back I think trying to ignore it probably made it more intense and confusing.

I’m not out and I don’t really have plans to come out at the moment. My friend group is mostly guys and the whole idea of coming out to everyone just feels a bit messy to me. I also don’t really feel the need to put a big label on myself or make my sexuality a big part of who I am.

I’m pretty masc and I’m into camping, hiking, running, fishing, the outdoors etc. I know obviously bi guys can be into literally anything and look like anyone, but sometimes I wish I knew where to meet guys who happen to have some of the same interests and are also maybe a bit more private about their sexuality.

Sometimes it honestly feels like I’m looking for someone invisible. I know there have to be other guys out there in a similar situation, but because I’m not really involved in LGBTQ spaces and I’m not out, I have no idea how you actually find them. I’m in Australia too, and I feel like there must be plenty of guys here who are into the same kind of lifestyle. I also wonder if some guys just keep this part of themselves private, are still figuring things out, or just don't feel the need to be open about it. Which I completely understand because I’m doing the same thing.

I guess I’m just a bit sad and frustrated with the whole situation. I’d really like to meet someone where I don’t have to explain this side of myself or feel like I’m the only one going through it.

Would like to hear your perspectives, especially from guys in the same situation as me.

I’m genuinely exploring at the moment, trying to understand my own sexuality better and, I suppose, understand how this all works for other guys too. That’s actually one of the reasons I started reading subs like this in the first place — other people’s experiences can be interesting, reassuring and sometimes pretty eye-opening.

But the more I read, the more I occasionally find myself thinking: wait… is this really how it happens the first time?

There seems to be a recurring type of post: “I’m straight / mostly straight / maybe bi-curious / I love women / I have a girlfriend / I’ve never really been with a man…” followed by a supposedly first same-sex experience that escalates remarkably quickly.

And I don’t simply mean having sex. I mean things like having unprotected anal sex, receiving ejaculation in the mouth, swallowing, etc. — sometimes with someone they’ve apparently only just met.

Obviously, a first-timer can be adventurous. Someone may have fantasised about something for years before actually doing it. Some people may already be taking PrEP, know the other person’s status, have discussed sexual health beforehand, or simply have a much higher tolerance for risk.

But it genuinely makes me wonder: are all these first-timers extraordinarily well prepared, extraordinarily adventurous, or simply remarkably unconcerned about sexual health?

And there’s another part of this that I rarely see discussed. Quite a few of these stories also begin with “I have a girlfriend” or “I’m married.”

If the experience really involves unprotected sex with someone they’ve just met, what happens afterwards? Are they getting tested before having sex with their partner again? Does their partner know about the additional exposure and get to make their own informed decisions about it?

Maybe all of that is happening and simply gets left out of the story. But considering how incredibly detailed some of these posts are about everything that happened sexually, I find it interesting how rarely sexual health — particularly that of the partner waiting at home — seems to feature in the story.

Which brings me back to my original question: how many of these are genuinely first experiences? How many are fantasies being presented as experiences because that makes a better story? How many are embellished or simply karma farming? And how many are written by people who genuinely identify as bi or curious but perhaps have considerably more attraction to men — or experience with men — than their introduction would suggest?

There’s also something I find fascinating about the almost obligatory heterosexual disclaimer: “I LOVE women. I’ve always dated women. I’m definitely attracted to women…” before describing a very strong attraction to men.

Why does the attraction to women so often need to be established first?

I’m not suggesting that attraction to men makes someone gay, or that bisexuality needs to be 50/50. Quite the opposite. I’m questioning why that disclaimer seems necessary in the first place.

So, genuinely curious: do you generally take the “first time / straight-but-curious” stories here at face value, or do you think a fair amount of what gets posted is fantasy, embellishment or engagement bait?

And there goes my karma. 😂