Australia released its census results recently, and 0.9% of our population are trans. This is the number I've been told to expect, but when my housemate expressed surprise it's so high and asked why she didn't see more trans people, i didn't have an answer. Apart from, maybe we mostly pass really well? Does anyone know why the availability bias and the statistic clash so hard on this one? When I think about it, it doesn't FEEL like 1 in a 100 people I meet is trans. Even if every single trans man passes (to me), there's still 900 other trans fems in my city and I agree with my housemate -- it doesn't seem that way at all.

One thing I thought of, is I transitioned in my 30s and while I have recognised and connected with quite a few other trans gals (on the bus, at work, etc), they ALL transitioned after 28. Maybe all these other trans women transitioned earlier and are completely stealth, to the point of not being keen to say hi?

Edits:

1. I/we do go to drag and queer nights and of course the % trans people is through the roof. It's the general life, supermarket, public transit encounters I feel there's an apparent under representation in for me/us.

2. Not sure why I got downvoted for saying it surprises me how well so many trans women must pass. It's awesome and I'm happy for them! My experience has been that it was super hard for me to 'mostly' pass though.

No I’m not asking if you wish you’d just been born the gender you identify as. I’m asking if you’re glad you’re trans instead of cis

Like am I imagining this or did someone turn the bot dial up to 11? Its all by low karma accounts as well.

When you see a person clocking you for being trans so they try to laugh to make you feel uncomfortable. Laugh at them back. Ive noticed that these transphobic losers don't know how to react when we laugh at them. They become confused. It works even better when you have a friend to turn to and laugh at them with. Sometimes I'll even say "he/she thinks we care what they think of us" and laugh! If they misgender you, misgender them back. They don't expect retaliation so it keeps them on their toes. Have any of you tried this method?

I am an 18 year old trans guy. I know who I am and I know who I want to be. I've not started medical transition at all; the farthest I've gone is telling people that I felt confident would support me.

I have a Planned Parenthood near me that a friend gets his testosterone from, so I know it's an option for me. The only thing stopping me is fear. I live in a red state, Ohio, and I'm so scared that things will get worse politically and I will lose access to HRT after starting it.

Things in the USA do not look good right now. Is starting testosterone worth it? Should I wait until things settle? Am I just worrying myself too much? I am sorry if this is too dramatic

So I [MtF-21] have found myself in a bit of a pickle, I recently started HRT for the first time [YIPPEE] but that's not the problem. The problem is that I have a family trip to Scotland coming up in the next few weeks and my parents don't know about the polymorph ritual I'm currently casting on myself. I also have no idea how TSA is with unprescribed medication, and even if they are chill with a very manly person having estrogen pills and T blockers, I don't want my parents to see it and find out I have them. Would it be worth it or even safe to just not take either of them for the next week while out of the country, or is their another way to get them through without any issue?

Me and my family almost never travel out of the country so this hasn't been a problem before. Please I need help from my trans elders!!!

19mtf and i’ve been on hrt for a year now but am still fully fully inside the closet. it’s been the most painful year of my life. i’ve been so immensely confused about absolutely everything and have such a big fear of myself. i have come to the conclusion i am very ashamed of who i am. how can i start to break down this shame and fear of judgement i have? i’ve been trying but nothing is working and i fear i will never come out. it’s just so sad to think i could have pulled this trigger months ago and been in a much better place by now. but i didn’t and am growing more terrified as time goes on. i have no idea what to do.

I'd like to know if you believe this or not.

I recently noticed how, throughout my puberty, I avoided looking in the mirror, taking care of myself, or taking photos, and it made me feel quite stressed.I believe that dissociation is possibly the only thing preventing me from having worse dysphoria in the genital and breast area.

I've also noticed that when I imagine my body becoming more feminine, or if I had to go through E puberty again, I start to feel panic attacks and the urge to cry. I really can't wait to start HRT, but I imagine it will unlock some blocked dysphoria, but at least it won't guarantee my body will become more feminized.

I suspect I haven't been able to pass some milestones, and my attention span is terrible due to dysphoria and it's trauma.

For example, if a cisgender man went through puberty with E and no one helped, would that be considered traumatic? The same as forcing a cisgender child to be of the other gender or a girl being denied treatment for PCOS.

I have been dating a trans guy for 3 years now. We have a lot of fun having sex, we use toys and all of that. We match sexually. But he doesn’t cum with my oral sex. He loves oral sex and I can be there for hours trying all types of movements but he doesn’t cum. He always finish with his vibrator. He says that I’m really good at it but if I’m really good why can’t he cum with it? Please let me know more tips so I can try it out with him.

I'm a cis man and my hips are easily the widest part of my body - I have a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.8. I've always been like this, I got it from my mom, but I haven't really seen or heard of anyone else with this experience. I don't hide it, in fact I'm proud of it and I wear women's pants unabashedly because they just fit better and either no one has noticed or they haven't said anything.

I haven't really had anyone to talk to this about either because it feels weird to bring up, so I feel like I'm bottling it up.

Hi everyone, I'm 19 and have recently started to suspect that I might be trans (FTM).

I'm still figuring things out, so my current plan is to give myself till I'm around 21 to process this, talk through everything with a therapist, and then eventually decide around when I'm 21 whether or not I actually want to start Testosterone (T).

While I'm taking this time to think, I've been trying to research the medical side of things, and I've run into some anxieties and not enough answers.

I'm really worried about the potential long-term health risks of taking T.

Specifically, I'm worried about:

Cardiovascular risks: Does taking T significantly increase the long-term risk of developing heart disease, having heart attacks, or suffering strokes? Does it just shift your cardiovascular risk to match cisgender men, or is the risk higher because it's exogenous testosterone? If I start T will it significantly increase my risks of developing these issues?

Life expectancy: I've seen scary and confusing statistics online about trans life expectancy, and google has been no help. Is there actual medical evidence that being FTM or being on HRT long-term shortens your lifespan? I would love to hear from anyone who has looked into the data, spoken to endocrinologists about this, or has been on T for a long time.

How do you balance these health concerns with your transition, and what does monitoring your health actually look like down the road? I am just super worried since I want to have a long life, but I also want to be comfortable.

Thank you so much for any insight or advice in advance and sorry if this is all stupid of me to ask.

on average on any day. I know this varies heavily based on location so let’s say a blue city/state.

I am mtf questioning and never presented femme.

One of the things I hate about being AMAB is how I’m treated in public. I see other women get smiles and act friendly to each other in public. Then I interact or simply walk by and get dirty looks or treated poorly.

There have been times where two women strangers will compliment each other and smile at the checkout and then it’s my time to checkout and the mood goes real dark/flat.

Sometimes I will just be walking in the grocery store and someone else just happens to be walking the same direction and I can tell the person in front feels like I’m following them. If i try to speed up to pass them, it makes the tension worse. If i slow down, it feels even creepier and makes the tension worse.

I can’t help but feel being a male and not looking like prince charming is a key factor. Has anyone’s day to day experience (particular mtf) been drastically improved?

Good day, I’m Quiche, a general physician from the Philippines. I was referred here by a friend because I want to be able to cater to transgender patients and patients with gender dysphoria but I’m currently not qualified to provide any gender-affirming care involving HRT or other pharmaceutical or surgical management nor can I refer to others who are experienced with that. Plus I am still working in a much more conservative environment and some patients are still minors (e.g. 18 y/o AMAB) so I can’t go behind parents’ backs here.

That said, I still want to be able to care for them even in a minor capacity, but am at a loss as to what sort of advice can be given that can help transgender folks, esp minors, that does not necessarily rely on the kinds of management mentioned earlier. I’d also like to avoid alienating family units and communities, if possible. I know there are other factors that might need to be addressed such as neurodivergency and other mental health comorbids, which I feel more confident dealing with, but for gender dysphoria, I would appreciate any insights from transgender folk, especially local Filipinos if you’re here :)

Thank you in advance!

Queer Christian, affirming-Christian, and transgender Christian folk are greatly welcome to chime in here too.

Hello, about 2-3 hours ago i made a post talking about feeling like a femboy and needing advice. Id like to apologize if I offended anyone at all. Truth is I have no idea who or what I am. Ive been struggling with gender and sexuality for the last nine months and ive never been more confused. Each day I try telling myself "youre not gay. Youre not trans, stop wanting to act feminine or dress as such". The next day, I feel different. Im truly reaching out asking for help to figure out who I am. If anyone has any advice or ways they figured themselves out please, Im really asking here. Thank you.

someone i know over the internet just sent a message with the t slur after saying "i'm non binary can i say the t slur" then just did with no answer and im so uncomfortable. like i am enraged and i can feel it in my stomach because everything i've learnt of that word just feels it is so inappropriate for her to use.

she is afab and fem presenting and uses she/her and i am not saying that makes any difference to her gender, because i am non binary and afab and fem presenting and i use she/her irl just because i don't care about pronouns, and i would never EVER use that word, i feel so icky now.

it is also not the first time this person has used a slur. i've stopped interacting with her mostly because she is usually just rude anyway, but it just feels like when people try their hardest to use as many slurs as they can. she said the r slur a few weeks back and that should've been my breaking point but it's in a group chat and i like the rest of the people there. i am autistic and have had that word used against me but i still have only used it in examples of someone saying it, and that's only when it's been used against me.

i know that some non binary people may feel like they can reclaim this word but as someone who is the same in presenting as the person who said it i am just feeling so uncomfortable and upset about it. i would love some more perspectives please

(Mtf) I was 19 and I started to freak out and started to question stuff pretty fast as I thought I was a cis guy.

Context: I'm a trans woman, fully stealth, one of my friends found out by accident half a year ago, and it took them into this rabbit hole and now fully questioning their gender/sexuality/gender. I basically broke their egg, so I'm trying my best to help.

They're confused right now, and it also confused me, so I told them to give me a list of what they think so far, hence the list below:

- i dont care about pronouns yet

- i want a fem body, fem face, fem aesthetics in general

- and i definitely think like a woman. so, it just might fit me better ig.

- that said, maybe i still wanna be referred as a boy

- so, i kinda wanna be a femboi but without crossdressing part with long socks and skirts

- my attraction to people are also not hetereosexual, i dont want anything to do with them sexually.

- most importantly, i really couldn't care less about boobs.

- its very hard for me to find someone i am attracted to but i realized theres a wholeass community full of people like me and people i am attracted to.

- i am not attracted to men. my realtionship with my transmasc ex made it clear

- for now, i think i am a weird lesbian that goes by he/him

I also told them to just ignore labels for now and just explore stuff.

Okay I'm actually quite anxious about this because I don't know if I fucked up in the past or not and how should I proceed.

One of my friends outed another friend as trans. This happened almost a year ago and I honestly didn't know how to react - should I share with my friend that he was outed or should I keep quiet to prevent pain or feeling the loss of control. He was also having other problems at the time (with his living situation) and I felt like this would just add to the stress. And I didn't know how to even begin this conversation, to be honest.

I had a talk with the first friend and told her this was unnacceptable and that she can't out people like that, which ended up with her promising she won't tell anyone else. I decided I would keep it at that. I might be naive but friend 1 told me after like 2 years knowing this so I felt like after the conversation she wouldn't tell anyone else.

This is where I feel like I fucked up. Maybe I should have told friend 2?

Now I think he might come out to me and I don't know how I should react. I feel horrible because maybe it wasn't my place to decide what to do with this information? And now I will lie again if he comes out because do I have to fake my reaction? Or do I now tell him that I already knew?

Hello. I want to start HRT but the only thing really holding me back is my face and the prospects of it passing. I've always been told by my parents my facial features resemble my mom more than my dad, but I still have a very mesculine face. I've heard HRT can redistribute facial fat and it causes you to look more like your mom, so I want to know what your experiences with that is? Is it true? I'm guessing it's just a case-by-case basis, so aside from that, what are some strategies to have a more feminine facial structure?

I keep getting mixed answers on this and I’m concerned that the shrinkage from the E is making my future bottom surgery worse but I thought I’d ask people who’ve had it and such-

I've recently came to the realization that I'm not cisgender. I'ma teenager and I would like to start trying to transition and look like how I feel. I can't come out to my family, mom is dismissive of anything I tell her, and it would probably make things weird between us. I have no way of getting hormones that I know of and I don't look feminine at all, but the idea of looking and having to be seen as male for the next three or four years fills me with dread and uneasy ness. I really don't know what to do and any advice would help. (Sorry for bad formatting I'm on phone)

Im 26 mtf and I don't know what I should do first? Should I come out to my family or just start HRT first. What are your thoughts?

Now I wanna start by saying I have no clue if I am or not; there are a ton of reasons I think I could be, or might not be.

But I’m kinda overwhelmed and really nervous about the idea of being some form of trans. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, and it overwhelms and consumes me for a while nearly every day for the past week, and then most days for a few weeks. and every so often for a few months.

1 thing that for some reason scares me is that I have a trans friend who has joked about me maybe being trans a lot lately. And I’ll be honest it’s been what’s triggered a lot of me thinking about this, I thought about it on and off before that but the last month or 2 there’s been like 5 or so jokes about me being trans, and each time it just makes me think about it more and more.

And I’d love to talk to him about this but I’m worried he’ll think I’m just saying this CAUSE he was making those jokes and that I’m just wanting to be trans because of it.

Another reason is like, I’m so uninformed and stupid about a lot of queer things and the community I worry I’ll just look stupid. Or that I’m wanting attention.

A 3rd one and this one makes me feel like a piece of shit for being worried about. is that I don’t wanna be a stereotype I struggle with weight problems AND enjoy having my hair dyed and there’s nothing wrong with that or anything. But a lot of people make stereotypes and I don’t want to be one and the idea of being one scares me.

Hi, I’m a 19y/o male, and I’m pansexual. Not sure if thats relevant to this or not. I woke up this morning thinking about what my future would look like if I was a woman. It was like waking up but still dreaming if that makes sense. I was asleep, and I woke up to those thoughts in my head. And I haven’t stopped thinking about it since then. Is this something I didn’t know I wanted? I kinda liked those thoughts too. I looked happy. I mean, I am happy with my life currently. I have a great job, an amazing girlfriend, and I’m right where I wanna be, but I feel like something’s missing. And lately I’ve felt kinda connected to all the Petra Parker/Spider-Woman posts I keep seeing (I love spiderman). I mean, there’ve been times where I have thought about being a woman. But I kinda shoved those thoughts down when I was young because I was raised in a MAGA home and was taught it was wrong. I don’t believe its wrong anymore though. I’ve matured and accept everyone and have been working on accepting myself. I came out as pan back in december. I don’t really know what to think, and I was wondering if anybody here who has a similar experience to me and/or could help me out/gimme advice? Could I be a woman?