I'm currently in college and find myself floating between totally separate sets of people. I'm trying to figure out how to navigate class projects without making things awkward or causing unnecessary drama.

First, there's Sarah and her main circle. Sarah was actually my very first friend in college, but she hangs out with her 2 other friends. While Sarah and I are really close, I'm not close to her friends at all, which makes hanging out with them super uncomfortable. If I'm not with her, her friend will ask me why I'm not over there with her. I’ve tried multiple times to get closer to them, but it just never clicks. They have established their own circle where I'm obviously not included, which makes it even harder to bond. Even Sarah seems a bit awkward around them at times, but she sticks with them anyway.

And, there's my another friend group, which I got close to through random class assignments. I ended up clicking really well with everyone in this group. Sarah actually joins us here on occasion, too.

My issue now is group presentations. I feel much more comfortable teaming up with my other friend g, but I'm worried about how that leaves Sarah.

Is it completely normal in college to float around different groups instead of having just one main circle? Is it fine if I partner with my other group for projects instead of Sarah's crowd? Should I give Sarah a heads-up beforehand, or just let things happen naturally?

Hi everyone, this is my first ever post on Reddit because I am in a situation where I do not feel at ease.

My friends and I were considering going on a trip together next year. We’ve all known each other for nearly 10 years and it wouldn’t be the first time we travel together.
One of my friends, M, met her boyfriend H fairly recently (a few months ago). We met him in passing once. He seems to be treating her very well, she is very in love.
However, we found out we have some irreconcilable viewpoints. Our friend group is very diverse (all queer, POCs, etc) and it’s pretty clear that H is hostile towards that. We already told M and she doesn’t seem to grasp why it makes us uncomfortable.
We’d like her to come to our trip too, but we’re 100% sure she will try to invite H and won’t understand why he’s not welcome, considering we’d like to invite one of our friends’ new boyfriend, which is really a lovely person we all feel at ease with.

Question is, how do we get M to come without bringing H along ? (Just to be clear, we won’t kick her out of our group and leave her all alone just because H is a prick)

Hi guys I was wanting to move out of my parents house in about a year and my best friend is also wanting to move out. I’ve heard so many horror stories about moving in with your best friend. So I just wanted to come on this subreddit and get people story’s about moving in with their best friends bad and good. For more detail I’m 20f and she is also 20f. We will be 21 when we move in together!

Hello guyss... I am 18F from India.

Recently someone very close to me, left me and i am feeling extremely exhausted and heartbroken.

Hope i get some friends with whom i can share some moments of laughter and friendship and get over this hardship of life.

I will be waiting in the DM

Thank you

Let me start with context right out of the gate. My friend is wonderful. Truly. I've known her for 4 years now and we're extremely close. We talk every day and she usually speaks to me with respect and honesty. However, something I've noticed more and more is that when she becomes frustrated, she uses a slow, aggravated kind of tone - the kind that people use to make others feel stupid. I say I don't understand something, and suddenly she's spacing and drawing out her words. "Why.... Are.... You.... Are.... Not.... Getting.... This...."

She's older than me and she's been officially diagnosed as autistic and has told me in the past that she gets frustrated when things don't go the way she pictures them.

A little bit about me. I definitely think that I'm smart. I've got my masters in education, finished writing my first book this year, have academic honors, help work on political democratic-socialist campaigns to try and make life better for others, and love to help anyone whenever and however I can. But I also know that I tend to process things more slowly than others. Writing helps me make sense of everything. I have auditory processing issues, so sometimes I need to hear things twice to put the words into place. I definitely suspect that I'm somewhere on the spectrum as well, though I'm not officially diagnosed, though really I don't even think that's necessarily important to this scenario entirely. Because of this, I tend to give grace to others because I know how hard it can be for myself to not get things the first or second time around.

As stated before, I've got a teaching background. I tend to explain things in ways people will understand and am patient with helping them get there.

My family has consistently made fun of me for this for years, oftentimes calling me "naive" or "ditsy" or speak slowly at me. It's something I talk about a lot in therapy. I've had to really work on my confidence because of it, and it's taken a long time to embrace my own intelligence. It's one of the worst triggers for me. I'm talked down to and I want to curl up into a ball and hide away.

This week has been especially difficult because I'm staying with my friend for a few days. We've lived together before and may do it again, but she recently got a new apartment and she's just set it up the way she likes it, and I've found that I really can't do much without being patronized. A few examples;

• I forgot to wring out the floor towels she uses while showering. She got really short with me and said, "we don't do this, this is wrong" before fixing it herself and going through the steps slowly with me, making almost direct eye contact the whole time. I said, "thank you for explaining. I'll know for next time."
• I didn't close the shower door correctly (it accordions) and she said "I already told you how to do this!" I apologized and said, "I'll try to get it right next time".
• Just one week ago, we were on vacation and had to get through a car gate. I had to ask the hotel to open it over the phone. Her car was halfway through the gate and I didn't noticed, because I was still on the phone. I had the hotel staff in one ear, her voice in the other. It took me until I hung up to realize she was yelling at me. I don't remember the specifics, but it was something like, "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS." "YOU SHOULD HAVE WAITED UNTIL I WAS THROUGH THE GATE. WHY DIDN'T YOU WAIT?" "I KNOW YOU WERE ON THE PHONE BUT YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME" "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU" (I will say, with this one, I completely shut down. Nearly burst into tears. I very softly said, "I'm sorry, thank you for explaining it to me." She stopped the car again and immediately apologized. It hasn't happened again.)
• I offered to wash two dishes. She said, "we have a dishwasher, you don't have to." I told her I was fine washing two dishes. She sounded so angry when she said, "Don't."

I'm scared to make mistakes around her, now. She's been extra stressed for some reason and on vacation, she I'm the only one she's with.

I want to make it clear, again, that 98% of the time she is wonderful. This is one of the only things that drives me up the wall. This isn't me asking how to leave the friendship or whether or not I should be moving out or away. It's really just this one behavior.

What I want to do is to explain to her how it makes me feel. I'm so non-confrontational, and I'm honestly afraid of what she'll say. I especially don't know how/when to bring it up.

Maybe I've just been an a**hole this whole time who can't stop messing things up and is truly not understanding, and in that case I get her frustration and need to become less sensitive. I'm really not sure at this point.

Not positive, either, if the smart thing to do is to ask reddit, but I feel as though I need unbiased perspectives.

Thank you!

I met her 3 months ago and we started chatting right away. I really didn’t realize she only wanted to be friends at the start. After 2 weeks of talking I asked her out since I really liked her. She answered that we can meet but she wants me to know that she is only on a friend basis since she just had a break up and is not ready for anything. I accepted that even thought it was hard and we kept chatting for a week and we met her with my friends that time. All of a sudden she ghosted me for 2 weeks. I found out she was texting with my friend who she met when we were hanging out and that hurt like someone shot u. Then my friend ghosted her and no one heard from her for 2 weeks. Then there was a big outdoor event where I was drinking and I saw her there. She texted me if me and my friends (not the guy she was talking to) wanted to hang out with her and her friend. We were with them and we started talking again. I asked her if she talked to my friend and she said yes but she only wanted to be friends with him (my friend told me they had a talking stage but maybe she is just hard to understand). Now we have been friend again for a while and we have hung out 5 times. I must admit that I still have feeling for her but I can’t say it since she is now friends with every single one of my friends. Now today she has ghosted me and im worried of losing her completely again. What should I do? (Sorry for my bad english)

Okay so for context I went to this party , and I am naturally an introvert and socially anxious so normally I prepare myself for the worst,

but this time I knew there would be one of my friends , you could say we're friends on class , and so I thought I would be okay cause also I invited her to my birthday party which isn't going to be all that I like having a chill time with the people I actually like.

So back to the party, I get there and I feel kinda awkward cause my parents just won't go away like any other parent but I didn't mind that so much, and after a short while My friend arrives too .

My parents go and I start talking with my friend and she also tells me that she has to update me on some guy and she tells me she will tell me later BUT that never happens and she starts moving away with her other friend and I follow them for the first few times, but then I decided to not follow them cause I felt like I was following them around like a dog, and my friend never came back to me and I was alone so I decided to follow them anyway.

So the party bus arrives ( yes that where we "partied") and I follow them to sit close cause I don't wanna be alone YOU KNOW but then they get up to dance and for the whole night I don't think we talked much I was basically by myself trying not to make anyone uncomfortable with my loner vibes I guess.

I tried sparking up a conversation asking her to talk to me about that guy she told me earlier but she always said "oh yeah I have to tell you that " BUT SHE NEVER DID !!!!!!

I felt like I was desperate for her to tell me about it. So the night goes on a few classmates come chat for like 2 min and then they go to their respectful groups and at this point I just gave up and just chilled while everyone was having fun. Then my friend at some point goes away with her other friend and doesn't even say a word to me !!!!

This is so weird cause on text she's like the sweetest she told me " oh you're so funny I wish you opened up more with the class" and shit like this but irl she's dry as hell and I am tired.

Someone tell me, is it childish to want someone to be with you throughout the night and in general cause I feel like I'm following them around I just want someone I can be with without feeling like I'm bothering them.

so its been 24+ hours and before that too i had to double text for her to reply, and we talked a little but since then its been completely quiet even when i sent multiple texts, reels and even a goodnight msg, the whole time she has been active on another platform, now after 24 hours i have messaged again and asked if everything is okay. I am so scared that what if she just ghosts me like that, what do i even do atp

Hi everyone, I’m a single mom with a 10-year-old daughter. Life hasn’t always been smooth, and I’ve been through my own challenges. Lately, I’ve been looking for ways to make positive changes, meet new people, and build authentic friendships. I look forward to hearing from like-minded people and making genuine connections

Went on a trip about 5 months with a friend I’ve always gone on trips with. It’s always been an unspoken rule to just split the costs on these trips. Well, came back from a trip, sent her my expenses and she claimed that we were even without even doing her calculations for her expenses. Told her I’d feel more comfortable that she’d do her expenses so we can confirm whether it was even. She said ok. Months have passed and she has not done her part. I brought it up to her when we hung out and she continued to say we were even and that trip was an experience. I reiterated that she should do her expenses since she doesn’t know for sure. What should I do? I’ve taken a step back from the friendship because how she’s handling it is rubbing me the wrong way.

Sorry if this does not fit guidelines

Disclaimer; English is not my first language so sorry if its difficult to understand or my writing is bad
And sorry for long rant :)

I (F19)have been a real bad friend recently and it's eating me alive.
3 years ago I became friends with a girl through school. Through those 3 years we've grown our friend group to around 6 people.

Backstory kinda:
Now, I've always tried to be nice, but sometimes it is a bit difficult.
This friend is someone who is really nice most of the time, but she has her moments where I just can't believe someone would think or act that way. Alot of these things are really small, and would not be a problem every noe and then (and none of us care if anyone else in the group does it), but when she does it so often we kinda start keeping score, and it just becomes more annoying.

This could be small things, like purposely leaving her book in the locker because "ofcourse I can just borrow your book" (ofc I would let her do it if she just forgot, and its not a big deal, but just the fact that she felt entitled to it became very annoying), or always having to be the best/worst at something. She was aleays either "so fucking ugly, noone likes me, They all think bad of me" or "everyone actually loves me, I'm really good at this, im super pretty". We took and IQ-test once and she was visibly disappointed that she was average (like most people). I think she was very insecure, which is obviously not a crime, but it became very annoying when everything felt like a competition of who had it the best/worst, even if that was not her goal.

But she is also a very thin girl, and she models. Because of this she often talked about her apperance, like, how she wants a bigger butt but cant because of her job, or that her boobs look good but theyre too big for her job. She also talked alot about food. She was not necessarily a healthy person, but she still had comments about other peoples food and food in general. One example is when I was gonna buy something from the store, a processed flatbread type thing, she just went "omg theres so much sugar in that" and even when I told her I dont care, she just kept insisting theres sooo much sugar (which there is but it was so unnecessary). And she had a lot weird comments, like how she would never go on birth control because she could gain weight - she told this to teo in our groups who had struggled alot eith their relationship with food and their body AND who used/had used birth control. I dont know if she knew that they were struggling but the comments were weird regardless..

She also insisted that she had this sarcastic humor that people just didnt understand, but to us it just seemed mean. When a new girl joined our class and friend group around a year ago, she began testing the waters with what she could joke about, and said weird things like "youre ugly" and "we're not friends" as jokes, but obvi its pretty hurtful. And when I tried to stand up to her, and tell her taht this was obviously hurting our friend and she was telling her to stop, she just said that "i know when shes jokingly telling me to stop, and when she means it, and i would stop if she meant it" even though she obvi meant it, she was just too scared to be more insisting.

Sorry long rant lol

But recently, we have tried taking some distance from her, but I've bern struggling cause I really do feel bad for her. She is really nice when she is nice but its just too much at times. And we never reallyyyy told her how we feel because its usually small things that would feel unecessary to bring up, or things that are too old, and she dorsnt take it too well. She always says that "you have to tell me if im being annoying/mean/selfish" but when we tell her she just tells us not to get involved or that we just cant take a joke.

So, a few months ago, she invited us to a breakfast at her house before we went out (it was our national day), and at that breakfast she learned that we were all invited to our other friends boyfriends house in the evening, except for her. This is because he didnt like her (bc he knew all the things i just mentioned and more), and the last time she was at a party at his house she just complained about being bored and wanting to go out and party.

When she learned this she got understandably sad, and didnt speak to that friend the rest of the school year, except for when she burst when they were working on a project together and she didnt work bc "im gonna do it soon i just have alot on my mind" (which she did, but the work still had to be done, and she got mad when they started on her part of the work bc now it was too difficult for her to start. They got it done at the end tho), and they were tired so she got mad and suddenly went on a rant about that day with the breakfast and ehat shitty of a boyfriend our friend had. We were all very uncomfortable and most of us sided with our other friend bc we were tired if this girl.

Then summer came, and a different friend got invited on a weekend trip by her friends, and asked all of us (except for this girl) if we eanted to go. Two of us went (including the girl with the boyfriend, now ex.) but I was idiot enough to post tiktoks and photos and she realised she was not invited.
I told her a few bad excuses as to why she was not invited, like there had been tension recently, but it was not a good excuse bc she was not the only one involved. I felt really really bad afterwards, and havent managed to get rid of this feeling that im a bad friend. I even told her that I still wanted to invite her to things but that Im not gonna police what the others are gonna do.

Now, everytime I see her face or name, i get this almost anxious feeling. I feel so shitty, bc i only get reminded of the good times, and i downplay the shitty things, but at the same time i kinda remember how done i was with this girl everytime she did something.

Now, in a few days, im going to my boyfriends friends birthday party. The invite is a facebook group, which i know she has not joined, but i also know she doesnt use it much so she COULD be invited through snap (since most of my group is invited, but also the ex that didnt invite her that day with the breakfast is also invited so he might have made them not invite her..)

Im just terrified. I feel like a shitty friend, but i dont wanna meet her. I dont wanna talk to her. I dont have anxiety but i think this is the closest ive been to the feeling. If she shows up, i dont have any good arguments bc i know it was mean to not invite her, and i understand how increadibly bad it feels, especially when she didnt know she did anything bad (bc it was impossible to tell her bc we are pussies), so i know we were the bad guys. But i dont wanna talk about it, especially at the party, bc it ruins it for everyone, and i know i say alot of stupid things when drunk.... and if we had just told her before how annoyed we were and what we really thought, she would atleast know, but we made ourselves into the bad guys...

Idrk what im asking, but I just dont know how to feel, what to do, or anything really. I think of myself as a nice person, and i really try to do whats best everytime, so i feel like ive really disappointed myself, and been a real bad friend. This is literally keeping me awake at night, and almost giving me nightmares so it would be nice to just know what other people think, instead of drowning in my own thoughts.

My friend never tells me any of her beauty secrets, and honestly, I find it a little strange because we’re actually quite close. We met in our first year of university and hang out a lot after class.

She has amazing straight, shiny, and very thick hair, so I once asked her what she did to keep it looking so good. She said, “Oh, this is my natural hair. I never straighten it or use a blow dryer.”

One time, I went to her house for a game night and had a little chat with her mom in the kitchen. Her mom also had gorgeous hair, so I casually said, “You both have great hair genetics!”

Her mom then told me that her daughter had done keratin treatments and nanoplasty because she used to have frizzy, heat-damaged hair from straightening a lot in high school. 😭

She also mentioned that both of them regularly apply hair oil to help with hair growth and strength. That surprised me even more because my friend had always told me she doesn’t really do anything to her hair and that it was simply naturally like that.

What makes it feel worse is that she often asks me about my makeup, hair and skincare products, and I’m always completely honest with her. I’ll tell her exactly what I use and even send her photos of the products without thinking twice.

There was another time when she wore a perfume that smelled AMAZING, so naturally I asked her what perfume she was wearing. She just said, “Oh, a bit of everything.” She never told me the name or even what perfumes she had layered.

After that, I basically stopped asking her about her beauty secrets because I realised she probably just doesn’t want to share them.

I completely understand that nobody is obligated to share their routines or secrets, and she’s obviously entitled to keep things private. But I do find it unfair when someone asks me for all the details about my products while being so secretive about theirs.

What do you guys think? Have you ever had a friend like this, who keeps all their beauty secrets to themselves even though you’re quite close?

Writing it here to tell this to somebody cause I clearly can't talk about it to any of our friends if you have any advice I'd like to read them. It's my first time posting something on Reddit so I hope I've chosen the right place and also sorry if there's any mistakes as English isn't my first language.
It happened around 2 months ago and we were both 17 at the time. Overall we've been friends since elementary school and last 4 years our relationship was really close a lot of people shipped us but for me it was always just a strong friendship. Besides he has a lot of female friends and not really close with guys. There was a moment 3 years ago when I thought that he might have some feelings for me but turns out that he hadn't at least as far as I know. I also don't have any romantic feelings, I actually had relationships that didn't work out because of long distance but I'm still in contact with that boy and we have some feelings between us, which make this situation with my friend even more strange. But we are really close, cuddles are normal for us or long goodbye hugs for example at some point I've thought that it's too much but eventually it became normal.
Kiss accident happened when we had a sleepover at my place. We were a bit drunk and I think that's a main reason why it happened but still "drunk words are sober thoughts" as people say. We were drinking at first place because we needed to talk about some issues as our friendship is not the best lately because of long distance and some other stuff and I know that it's not the best way to communicate but an only available at the moment. So I told about what was bothering me and he started to apologise, we both cried a bit and then there were long hugs. I don't remember the exact moment and how the hell it happened but we kissed. It wasn't like we were making out but there were a few more kisses which were accompanied by words like "what are we even doing". We stopped and everything kinda went back to normal. We hadn't really talked about it except that we shouldn't tell anyone about it. Maybe that's the reason of my overthinking and we should just talk but remembering it now fells weird. The thing is that this situation didn't really affect our friendship, nothing changed for us so maybe there is no point in talking. Also I don't think about it much just sometimes I want to discuss this with someone and hear opinions. But still, situation happened and it wasn't really normal I guess. I want to be sure that there is no romantic feelings and why did we do that.
But also is it normal to be that close with boy best friend if we both are comfortable with that?
P.S I don't put much in kisses, like it's not such a big deal so it we just kissed okay I guess but I want to know if something stands behind it and if it is than what.

We are both 18 I got into a state college she wanted to come too but unfortunately she didn’t pass the exam(matura) and had to wait for the second term.she didn’t pass pass this time but the law college didnt accept any more students
So she took economics she had today the exam for acceptance
She tells me she didn’t know what to do some questions she just guessed
She works also in market but isn’t really study smart nor street today she had called me to show which way is the college.
I told her she should take it more seriously and not complain that economics isn’t what she wanted to study.
She tells me not to intervene in her choices getting mad that I got mad about her non serious behavior towards it
My sister tells me that in college I should try to make more friends with same school capability as me because dealing with some girls like this can be exhausting
(I’m not saying she’s a bad friend but sometimes she drives me mad with her lack of knowledge)

We are both 29 & were best friends from high school until about 24 when she moved away. Even after she moved, we visited each other, and even though it wasn’t a lot, when we did get together it felt like we had never been apart. We went an entire year without talking (other than holiday texts) and she still invited me to her birthday party. At this party, I met her (now) husband. And even though we didn’t talk for a year at that point, she still introduced me as of one of her best friends. So I assumed we had the kind of friendship where you don’t have to talk/see each other often to remain close. Last year she got engaged and invited me to her engagement party. She also told me she was moving back to our hometown, and made it clear she was excited to be near me. But for some reason, when she moved back, things just seemed off (she wasn’t actively trying to make plans)- but I assumed she was busy. Then, I saw on Instagram that she had a bachelorette party, clearly I wasn’t invited, which hurt. She invited me over a week after, but I wasn’t able to go. We were catching up and she mentioned she was getting married in a “family” ceremony. So I knew then I wasn’t invited to the wedding. She didn’t say anything else about it, and she changed the topic right away. I can’t get over feeling hurt by not being invited. I would understand if it was a small, family only wedding, but I saw the pictures and it wasn’t… It’s just odd to me that she would text me/invite me over, does she not expect my feelings to be hurt? And yes, I know her wedding is not about me, and I should probably just let the friendship go since it’s clear she doesn’t value our friendship as much as I do. But I also miss her and would love to just get together and talk, but I don’t want to reach out and seem desperate.

I have a friend who ALWAYS makes it known that she knows more than me, and it’s starting to really get on my nerves.

No matter what we’re talking about, if she happens to know something about the topic, she has to make sure I know that she knew it first or has known about it longer. Recently, she got me into K-pop, and whenever we talk about it, she’ll say things like “oh I knew that,” “that happened XYZ years ago, I remember,” or “I was like 12 when that happened.” It’s always something that reminds me that she’s been into it longer than me or knew something before I did.

And she does this with almost EVERYTHING, not just K-pop. If I mention something and she happens to know about it, she’ll immediately point out that she already knew it or has known about it for years.

It honestly feels like she turns everything into a competition about who knows more, and it’s getting really annoying because it happens almost every single time we talk about something she has knowledge about.
The thing is, we’ve already had a conversation about her gatekeeping K-pop before. She said she would calm down, and she has definitely gotten more subtle about it, but now I feel like she’s doing the exact same thing in a way that’s harder to call out.

I feel like if I bring it up again, she’ll get mad or make me feel like I’m overreacting because technically she’s not saying anything directly rude. But when it happens constantly, it starts to feel very intentional.
Am I overthinking this, or is this actually a weird behavior? And what would you even call this?

I told my friend something a couple of weeks ago because I needed someone to talk to as my parents were getting a divorce. I wanted just a bit of comfort nothing more. A friend of 6 years she completely forgets me and starts slandering my parents and calling them immature? Nothing immature about getting a divorce I don’t know why she would say that. I love my parents and respect their decision but it’s still upsetting one of them won’t be around that long is it not? I cannot believe she would say that. Her parents are rude and racist,but I’ve never in my life said to her they’re weird or childish but she had absolutely no problem saying that about my parents who have done nothing but welcomed her into with open arms in our home. I don’t know why I kept being close with her even after she said that I don’t know how to go about this. Do I distance myself from her or what do I do? This a first but it also happened a couple of weeks ago and we’ve been talking fine since but it’s still on my mind as I love my parents so much and wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who says such awful things about them for no reason. We are still teenagers btw so if I sound childish I apologise but I just need some guidance. One thing this has taught me is to never ask help or rant to anyone ever again

About a year ago I was part of an online friendgroup that meant everything to me, it was some of the most important people in my life but I had to leave due to getting disrespected, disrespected and gaslighted.

Before I left barely anyone would take my side after I did leave some people defended me but it was already too late.

The problem is that I miss them a lot, even the two people who are specifically the reason I’m not going back (at least until they apologize, which they wont do most likely).

But because of this I cannot bring myself to speak even with the ones I am still on good terms with especially because the few I kept in contact with obviously prioritize the other group.

How do I even approach this? I don’t want people to think I’m just fine with what happened and I certainly don’t want to crawl back because then it basically implies that what they did wasn’t wrong (also I’m not going back for my own good).

There’s people I miss but I just cannot bring myself to message.

There’s even one of the two people that led to me leaving who’s been interacting with my social media posts very “casually”.
Started commenting and liking posts as nothing happened.

Like I’m taking this as them implying that things are good between us and despite that not being true on my side I just cannot bring myself to go against that.
I’m very angry at them because they kept gaslighting me while knowing I have issues in trusting my own memory and how I have been taken advantage of a lot because of this in the past and how I hate being made to look “insane”.

But I still miss them even if what they did was wrong also because I’m not faultless.
I want them to apologize to me so I can finally forgive them and go back, not for personal gratification but I know I’m never getting that.
(Also because the other person did apologize but it was more like “I’m apologizing to make myself feel better and you’re insane and delusional btw”).

I genuenly don’t know what to do.

I just turned 25.There was a period where I was really depressed, like really bad. I didn't want anyone touching me, I didn't want to talk, I basically cut off everyone around me.

My friend noticed something was off though, and she showed up at my place to take care of me. She did my laundry, brought me water, just sat there with me without asking a single question. One morning I got out of the shower and saw that she'd stuck a label on the clean t-shirt I left by the door. It was printed by the Niimbot and said "do not touch - fragile." I didn't say anything, just put the shirt on. Later I peeled that label off and kept it. It feels like something I never got to say out loud, tbh.

Another time, I was completely crushed by stress and just silently crying in the middle of the night. I sent her one random short message, no explanation, no context. And not long after, she showed up at my door with hot drinks and snacks. She didn't ask what was wrong, just sat there with me quietly, handed me tissues, and waited for me to calm down.

I don't even know what I'm trying to say here... I just love her so much and I'm so grateful for her, fr.

I’m 28 years old and I haven’t made a new friend in 10 years. Now, that would be okay if I felt like I had strong friendships but I feel like the more time passes, the more my “friendships” feel like they’re fading away. I haven’t spent time with a friend in 3 years and I feel like I’ve gotten so used to being alone that I don’t even know how to make new friends anymore? When I meet a new person, I can be friendly and interact, but I feel disconnected and like I’m incapable of considering them as a potential friend, even if we get along. I kind of dissociate from the interactions completely. It’s like my brain doesn’t even register “friendship” anymore or how to make friends. But I want friends and community so bad, does anyone else feel like this?

Hello! This is my first time posting so apologies if I do something wrong. So for context, I have a friend group of around 7 people and we’ve been close for the past 4 years. I was really close to everyone but especially the two currently dating each other.

About 7 months ago, i found out that my two friends in said friend group had a secret relationship for around 2 months and that they told a couple other people. I thought that once they felt more comfortable in their relationship they would tell me as I was really close to them. Fast forward to now, they have told almost everyone in the friend group except me.

We still have a similar very close dynamic, like nothing changed, but I’m starting to hold resentment towards them as they can’t even trust me with the knowledge of their relationship.

I want to cut them out but I don’t want to cause any issues for the rest of the friend group, even if several of them have had issues with these two (not getting into that).

What do I do? Do I keep waiting for them to tell me or do I confront them and ask what’s happening?

I’m struggling to stand by my childhood best friend of 20+ years as we’re on very different pages life-wise.

We’re in our mid-twenties. She has grown up in a very devout Christian community. I am not personally religious; however, I’ve spoken with a priest who I know, and they shared that the church my friend is a part of is known for its extremist interpretation of Christian teachings.

My friend got married a few years ago (she was in her early twenties; her husband was mid-twenties at the time), and their wedding day can only be described as intense. All the vows were quite misogynistic, stating she had to submit under her husband “as if he were god” which, selfishly, I didn’t feel comfortable with. But that’s her church, and she got married in a traditional service as that was the wish of her family. She and her husband do have quite a healthy relationship from what I can gather from knowing them both. But it isn’t a relationship I would personally choose for myself - marrying someone who preaches at a church which states that women should submit to their husband as if he were a divine being doesn’t sit right with me.

She’s started working within the church, and since she’s become more heavily involved, her previously liberal opinions have shifted. Notably, her church’s stance on LGBTQ+ people isn’t great and implores people to suppress their incorrect “urges”. She upholds this belief, and it’s made me anxious to invite her to parties, etc., with my wider friendship group as so many of my friends are LGBTQ+. Knowing she doesn’t agree with their existence, despite her playing nice in person, doesn’t sit right with me. She’s not the type to preach her beliefs unless prompted/she’s at church, but I know she’s judging people for their sexuality.

She recently found out she’s pregnant and is having a baby girl. This means so much to her, and I’m celebrating this milestone she’s wanted since we were kids. But the support she expects from me is something I’m not prepared to give. She asks for outrageous favours, like asking me to drive a 120-mile round trip to collect furniture at a few hours’ notice, without offering to pay for petrol. I said no, but she wasn’t happy. The favour requests are always backed up with “but I’m pregnant!” which doesn’t sway me. She constantly talks about the unreliability of her body and how she needs support… I am physically disabled, and I too have an unreliable body, so I can’t commit to doing a 120-mile drive as that doesn’t work for me physically. It’s as if she’s conveniently forgotten this.

I’m standing my ground and have made my boundaries clear. Thankfully, she’s not asked for anything for a little while now, so hopefully, my stance has gotten across. But now I don’t hear from her unless she wants something or is talking about pregnancy. She never messages to check in with our friendship group. She monopolises conversations in our friendship group to constantly talk about pregnancy. I get it’s a big part of her life; however, other people in the group have big life things happening too.

The favour requests are things I can turn down and deal with. However, I’m struggling to stand by her as a friend due to our moral differences. I don’t want to lose her, however, because it’s a friendship which has meant so much to me for 20+ years, and I also don’t want to make things awkward for the wider friend group. Also, selfishly, with the baby on the way, I’m kind of angry at the shift this is going to cause in our friendship group. We’re only in our mid-twenties, and it feels like she’s trying to shift the vibe of our group. It’s as if because she’s pregnant, it therefore means we all need to change. Of course, there will be changes in the group with the addition of a baby, and I don’t resent that, but it’s like she expects us all to raise this baby as if it was our own. She expects a village, but can’t be bothered to be a villager. I’ve called her out for this but it falls on deaf ears.

Babies and pregnancy are quite a sensitive topic in our friend group. One friend had an abortion after accidental conception about 5 years ago, and it really impacts her mental health still. The friend who had the abortion hasn’t directly told the religious friend because she knows that our friend’s faith disagrees with abortion. She wouldn’t be able to separate her religious belief from being compassionate towards her friend. So it’s a conversation which, in some ways, is easier unsaid. But the constant pregnancy talk is getting to the other friend, unfortunately.

So overall, I’m essentially waiting for something to happen which can cut me loose from the friendship. It’s bad to say that, but I genuinely can’t be bothered to confront it in some ways because when I have historically, she always plays the pregnancy card, and she stops the conversation. If something were to happen where I’d have grounds to cease the friendship, I’d genuinely prefer that. I’m not afraid of confrontation, but in this scenario, it just feels easier.

Is it bad I just want it to just fizzle out after 20+ years of friendship?

Backstory: I’m sorry if this is a lot but to understand context

So my high school friend group was me and four guys (let’s say M, N, A, and H). The one guy who was my oldest friend in the group and arguably best friend (H) had ptsd from medical misdiagnosis and was dating someone he shouldn’t have, (don’t wanna get into it abd his life story; his dating w this women was nothing illegal he was manipulated and she was prob a 1/10 gf)

We knew stuff was going on in his life but not to the full extent, like now I know everything basically, obv if I knew this back then I would have not been “causing arguments”, but so arguments in our group happened late 12th grade (between me and H) idk what it was but I think some of it was to him making fun of me (like how I can’t talk to girls or whatever) and I thought he was “selfish”

The dude would make fun of freshman a bit too much and stuff and seemed like he thought he was above everyone else (again I could be wrong I just perceived it so) again this was caused by all the problems in his life, like I’m not getting into it he had a weirdly interconnected string of bad things in his life but again didn’t know the full details till we reconnected so I’m not blaming him for the behavior.

M was prob my second best friend like I felt a good duo w him and honestly one on one we were cool and me and him thought we should meetup w the group and address stuff. We went to this park we always hung at and i probably shouldn’t have done this I guess and kept thoughts to myself but I was fed up and basically said we should try to be better friends,

I mentioned I gotta not get mad over stuff like this, (I included myself), M gotta try not to be late always, N should try not to have AirPods in and be on his phone during a conversation. A should like actually hang w us at lunch a bit (dude went off campus lunch always and that for H maybe poor choice of words I called him egotistical and again was just my opinion dude took it to heart, and I was just trying to get him to understand my side but dude wasn’t having it so this talk did not go like I thought. We hung out and had fun after so
I falsely thought we were good

H gives me silent treatment at school for a bit (I thought it was a bit childish). Eventually M left the group cause of something H said regarding him and he had enough of him ( this upset me the most), everything seemed moderately fine during summer and everything after, but one day at the park we hung out and H asked a stupid question to me and N, “why do you both think having a girlfriend will solve all your problems”. I was known as a bit of a horndog I guess by H but we are 18 yr olds like bruh duh I wanted to get laid and loose my virginity and the thing is I never said I needed a gf ever so bad or that it’ll make my life all peachy. He was w his toxic gf and he asked that for god knows why.

After the hangout I text N about how I thought him asking that question was kinda rude and shitty and he responded 2 days later defending H (N clearly liked H the most and wanted to / be his best friend). He was a yes man to H and would take his side over mine no matter what, but M was in my side while he was there. A knew H longer and is a chill guy and was in The middle. After we started a bit of reconnecting I found out that I assume after I texted N, that N and H sorta talked with A and they (A had no issue to me but was friend’s longer w H so he didn’t rlly have a choice I assume, but he still did not reach out to me but says he regretted it)

Welp they agreed to kick me out the group cause H was tired of me (keep in mind all these arguments were mainly during the middle/end of senior year and this seemed out of the blue and if it were to happen it should have happened during the school yr then or right as summer started, not at the very end a day before the second day of college 💀).

They invited me to the restaurant we ate in the most as a group and yes we are in a public space, but H said “the fuck is your problem” to me and I was kinda annoyed to be invited under false pretenses and he got louder and prob wanted to go off on me and I wasn’t gonna be embarrassed in public like this (my meeting w them was outside with like no one around they chose an eating place of all places, which seemed kinda fucked).

I got up and asked H in the heat of all this I don’t know what I said but something like “do you still wanna be friends yes or no” he said no and I walked out. Didn’t text anyone cause I felt like they should reach out first after pulling that, and A, H, or N didn’t text me. I wished H happy b day one year (well like 10 months later) I guess my contact was gone he stopped responding when he found out it was me so honestly should have reconnected there if we were ever gonna reconnect but naw it all started just cause we ran into each other at commuter college.

Fast forward like about 2 years I’m friends w A and H again. N left this group in my absence cause H called him a bum in a car together, idk I wasn’t there that’s what I heard, surprised cause he was acting like dude’s bestest buddy). I’m speculating maybe they made fun of him or he felt like how I do now as a punching bag. Also learned N did not want me back in the group only cause he blaimed me for all the problems (yeah some were my fault but no way H was kinda douchey back then cause if his mental state) and me and N had no personal quarrel at least I do not recall as this shit was between me and H, so yeah seemed kinda disingenuous to dislike someone for that in my mind but whatever

Present day

Just now in our trio I guess since me getting mad about stuff H says to me I didn’t wanna lose my friends again, like I’m all for joking around and picking fun at each other and roasting or whatever but it feels like it is directed to me the most. H still makes the being bad w girls comments to me a bit more than I like. A is def joking but like his stuff is at me more than H I feel. Like we hung out w another friend from high school (O who is my oldest friend) and H goes like as a joke “we have to kick someone out the car everyone say who” and they all say me. Again a joke but why me and I find it weird why O would say me cause they never hung out w him when I was gone, the way I see it they are only friends by association through me.

And some bullshit w today made me wanna post, like A texts to hang randomly to hangout at 2pm (needed to shower as I got back from the gym) and my mother told me we were eating at 3, so I said I can’t go. Then they ran into O w his friend and O ft me and H is all like as jokes “oh you having fun without us” or whatever idk what he said but like bruh it’s not my fault my mother cooked for Labor Day and I was expected to be home. And A hangs up on O’s phone as I’m in the middle of talking to which he texts me it was A not him. A ft me back I jokingly and not jokingly call him an asshole and H goes like “(my name) guess what” and I just say “naw fuck you” and hang up cause I did not feel like entertaining it.

These are some examples I hope I’m wrong I kinda of feel like since being friends again with A and H that I’m being a punching bag and getting the hate and heat more than it being equal for jokes and stuff, and can happen still even if I include O, idk any advice on this? Am I tripping? Was I done dirty in the past even cause I’m not mad at them but I can’t forget what happened, it ruined my first yr of college for sure and I think regressed me socially to a degree early - mid college.

Just what happened that day in the restaurant was and kinda is in the back of my mind a lot from what I see as a betrayal. Idk, was it a mistake reconnecting? I love these guys and they do care about me I’m sure but I can’t tell if I’m truly a punching bag or not. And if I cut them off I do not have no group rlly. I made one good real friend from college and him, H, O and I have been started to hang out several times in the past months (kinda becoming a group but again that group wouldn’t exist without me) even A too hangs if he is free (dude has another friend group excluding us all).

Idk I feel like I have kinda shitty friends at times. Any advice is appreciated thanks for reading.

I just always choose the wrong people and I don’t know why. I honestly feel so frustrated and embarrassed. I end up with people who can’t take accountability for their behavior, aren’t socially adjusted, and always somehow have 100 problems to tell me every day. Some of these friends are extremely rude to servers and one friend lost her job because of anger issues. I feel more drained than energized by all of my friendships. I also have been feeling very burned out and depressed lately and they never ask me how I’m doing, all they do is rant about themselves. I feel like I don’t take care of myself enough. I’ve also never had a boyfriend before or dated at all probably because I keep draining myself all the time.

I would really appreciate any advice on how to make better long-term friendships and how to spot red flags early on as well. Also what I might be doing wrong because I keep ending up with people that ultimately drain me.

And Should I write the last message ..?

English isn't my first language, so I hope I haven't dragged this out too long.

This is about a virtual best friend, so I guess it’s not exactly a super serious situation. We’ve known each other for almost 4 years. She’s 20 now, and I’m 18. Sorry for the long post; if anyone could actually give me some advice, I’d be really grateful. No pressure, I just wanted to get this all off my chest

1. Our arguments

Most of the time, the arguments were "my" fault, but looking back, she was just guilt-tripping me. Yes, I wasn't perfect. I was really jealous. I worked on that so our friendship could survive. (I was 16 or 17 at the time). For example, one time I disagreed with her on something, and it turned into: "I don't think we can be friends anymore because you've changed. You just disagree for the sake of disagreeing"

2. Replacing me, then coming back

My friend would go from talking to me almost every day to barely replying because she was too busy talking to other people online. Even when we were chatting, she’d disappear to talk to others. She gives me attention, and then takes it all away. This is a pattern that continues to this day.

3. Messaging

We rarely message each other now. Maybe once every few days. She’s always the one who leaves me on "read." She did it 4+ times in a single month, and I had to remind her to message me. Mind you, I’d understand if she didn't message anyone online, but she was deliberately ignoring me. That might be a key detail. In the past, she told me she has a tendency to ignore people. She told me I was different that she never does that to me. That I’m important and she’d never do it. Now, it just made me feel more insecure: am I really that important to her anymore?

So I said to her: "Are you actually going to message me properly? You’ve had days off since Friday, and in three days you sent just one message, what is this situation? And that message was just a reply to something I sent? Do I have to keep asking you to message me? I did that last time. It’s exhausting" (she was active on Discord, changing her matching profile pictures and everything).

She read it immediately, even though my previous messages had been sitting there for two days. She completely ignored it for another two days—making it five days in total. She replied to an earlier message while completely ignoring my concerns. The atmosphere has been cold ever since.

3.5.

I’ve told her so many times to just say, "Hey, I’m busy, I can’t talk," or something like that. Just one message. She never listened.

4. "You’ve changed"

That was the main reason she wanted to end our friendship, so many times I’ve lost count. She was always threatening to end our relationship. I was always terrified, thinking, "No, don't leave me. I need you." She even blocked me everywhere once, but I somehow managed to message her and say, "Don't leave me; you're important to me." That was a year ago. A few months ago, she told me our relationship should end. She had gone "offline" rarely messaging me. I hadn't noticed it.

Honestly, I always enjoyed messaging her. I’d talk about my interests and everything else, ignoring how she was behaving. It’s hard to see the signs when she’s the one messaging me. It was always the same thing: "You’ve changed."

5. At some point, I stopped talking about my interests.

A month and a half ago, she told me she didn't really care what I was talking about. I was always the one who listened more. Sometimes, I wanted to talk about my interests, too. Now, I’m afraid I might be boring her.

6. Plans that never happened

You know a relationship is slowly ending when you say you’re going to do something but never actually do it. We used to always do things like following trends and posting them to our stories. At one point, she deleted our highlights, which made me delete mine too. That led to another argument; I didn't believe her when she said it was just to "change" them. Mind you, you don't have to delete a highlight to change it 🫩🫩 In the end, I apologized for what I’d done and for not believing her. As I said, we stopped doing that once the blocking situation started.

7. I took a bigger risk

During this school year, I had very important university entrance exams. Even though I was studying, I still found time to message her. What makes me even angrier is that she ignores me. I managed to find time to talk to her, wasting time I should have spent studying just to chat with her. She never did that for me, and that's okay. I was just stupid to risk something so important.

8. My fault

Maybe it was my fault that things didn't work out? I can't really put a name to it. Our relationship was always based more on texting. Yes, we did call each other, but only every few months. I think that might be why things changed. She found people who could give her what she needed. Another reason it never really took off was that my parents didn't like her. They saw me crying once while I was arguing with her. I told them about her. That stuck with them, and things stayed that way.

9. Silent treatment

This happened for days after every argument.

10. The outcome and what I did

I unfollowed her on every app and removed her from my friends and followers lists. She can still text me on one app. She’s still giving me the cold shoulder after I sent a message saying I was exhausted 😭 She just moved on with her life as if nothing had happened. Then there was me overthinking it every day, but yesterday something made me finally do it.

I FEEL HAPPY, WHICH MAKES ME FEEL WEIRD.

In the past, I was the one fighting for our friendship, but I just gave up. I didn't say anything to her. I just quietly ended it. No drama. She doesn't know yet. I think I was just holding onto our old memories. I cried a lot after doing it, but it made me realize something: the only memories I have of us are from over a year ago. I don't have any cool memories of us from 2026. None at all. Though she does. With someone else, but not with me.