Hello, this is a pretty wild situation for me and I just need some judgement from others.

So for some background my gf and I both share a Google account (my account) and also use a location app so we can both see where each other is. We just used it to make sure each other arrives safely on long drives etc.

So today I noticed my gf was acting a bit strange, I don't really look at the location app very often but noticed she'd turned off her location which struck me as a bit odd. Anyway I didn't worry too much about it. We spoke on the phone after work and she said she was just going to have a quiet night and do some studying.

I then noticed that on my Google account history she searched for Google maps directions to a bar/ restaurant close to her home. Again this seemed a little bit odd since she was supposedly staying home studying, so I gave her a call and she answered while driving, she said she was going to the supermarket but seemed really jumpy and eager to get off the phone with me, when I asked why she was driving to a bar she just said "we'll talk about it later" and hung up.

Well it turns out she met up with a male co worker for drinks and completely lied to my face about it. The thing is she has just blown up with me, called me a creep, a stalker, said I've invaded her privacy etc etc, now she's the one trying to break up with me? I feel like looking at the history of my own Google account can't really be an invasion of privacy, and even if it was, surely secretly meeting up with a co worker is far worse?

She claims that it wasn't a date, but I really don't know what to even believe anymore. Even if it wasn't a date she blatantly lied and took measures to hide it from me. Have I acted wrongly in this? I feel like she's just exploded at me because she's been caught and is using it as a way to deflect the blame, but I'd really appreciate any advice or thoughts, thank you.

Sorry for the throwaway, my friends have my Reddit and I don’t want them to know about this yet lol.

My partner (36M) and I (31F) have been together for 4.5 years, friends for 8 years altogether.

He was already making more than me (I work in education and he works in tech) but 2 months ago he got a new position that more-than-doubled his salary.. so now he’s making almost 3x my income.

We’ve said we’d get married from pretty early on having already known each other a while, but have been seriously talking about it for a year or so. No wedding, no engagement ring, just signing the papers, 2 (fun) gold bands, and a honeymoon vacation.

Today, I sent him a link to a stylized wedding band I liked and he said we needed to talk later. That talk ended up being him letting me know that he wanted to hold off on making marriage plans, and when I asked why, he said that it was because our financial situation was “more complicated now” and he needed to “do research on how other people handle it.”

I asked if that meant he didn’t want to marry me anymore, and he said “it means I don’t want to talk about it until I figure some stuff out,” to which I just said “okay.”

I’m currently panicking a little, and I feel really hurt. The first 2 years we dated, I was making triple what he was making at the time (minimum wage) and not once did I ever think “yeah I can’t marry this guy, he makes less than I do,” so it’s difficult for me not to think “wow now that he has more to lose he isn’t quite sure he wants to risk it with me specifically,”or something.

I don’t know whether that’s actually what he means, though, or whether I’m attaching a meaning to it that he doesn’t intend.

Anyway, how do I approach this conversation with him in a way that gets at why his increased income changed how he’s approaching marriage, rather than turning it into an argument about whether he’s allowed to care about money? I’m particularly trying to understand what questions I should be asking him to distinguish between “I need to reconsider how we would structure our finances if we marry” and “I am genuinely less sure that I want to marry you now that I make more money.” Please help me lol

tl;dr My partner more than doubled his income and now says he wants to pause our marriage plans because our finances are “more complicated.” I’m hurt because when I used to make much more than him, I never reconsidered marrying him. How do I figure out whether he just wants to rethink the financial side of marriage or is actually less sure he wants to marry me?

Edit: I forgot to mention I’ve doubled my own salary since we started dating too! It not like I’m stagnant in my career or anything, he just jumped from 1 F500 company to another :/

Edit 2: So many people suggested it might be prenups, that I went ahead and just asked him directly if he was thinking about a prenup. To get to the point, it wasn’t really. He feels I’m not as ambitious as he is income-wise (he’s gone from minimum wage to 200k in 4.5 years, whereas I’ve only gone from 43k to 78k) and he has concerns that I don’t share the same drive as him, that “I’m too comfortable where I am,”that it’s making him doubt our relationship, and he would like me to work on getting a higher paying job, and until then marriage talk is on hold. Still processing what that means. I appreciate everyone’s feedback.

I recently went on a trip with my girlfriend of 10 years, a female friend of hers, and a male friend of mine.

On our last night, we did a group activity. The male staff member hosting us was objectively very good-looking (even I, a straight guy, could tell). I noticed my GF eying him every time he passed by, though he didn't give her any extra attention or look twice.

The issues started after the activity. In the car, my GF and her friend were talking about the staff. While I was in the backseat, my GF said to her friend, "Oh, are you talking about the gorgeous, tall, muscular, tanned [Name]?" She was practically drooling. My friend sitting next to me gave me a "damn" look and laughed. I stayed silent. Later that night: The girls were bringing up the staff again. My friend joked to my GF, "Yeah, you look like you're going to remember him for a long time, huh?" Both my GF and her friend giggled and said, *"Yeah."*At that point, I asked my GF how she would feel if I did the exact same thing with a waitress. Before my GF could even speak, her friend cut in and admitted that it would be completely unacceptable if I did it.

Realizing I was visibly bothered, my GF apologized. The night ended there. We didn't speak about it during the long drive home the next day, and I initially pushed it out of my mind.

Now that I’m home alone, I can’t stop thinking about it.I’m usually a confident guy and don't get easily shaken. I know I’m not the tallest, most muscular, or best-looking guy out there, and I’m okay with that. But this genuinely hurt. I might just be exhausted from the drive, but I can't help but wonder if she is willing to disrespect me like this to my face, what does she say when I'm not around?She is usually the primary attention-giver in our relationship, constantly telling me I'm handsome and that she loves me, which makes this feel so out of character.I’m stuck. If I bring it up again, I'm worried she'll just hide it and talk like this behind my back instead which I don't know is better. I don't know if I should do something or just need to suck it up?

Edit: Mistake in the title, I am in fact a male.

Our relationship is now 2.5 years and it's great but from the start I suspected there's something between her and the family friend and I even asked her if they both had any kind relationship before we met during the initial stages of our relationship. She assured me that there's nothing between them and he's just a family friend who used to drive her father to work for a few years before his pension.

I trusted her and even hang out with him on some family events like her birthday (she invited him). He also ocassionally came over while I was at her house and he's welcome for dinner as he's good friends with my girlfriend's parents.

My gut feeling tells me something is not right but I can't find any proof but yesterday while we were shopping on her phone and I checked her Facebook messages from the past like 3 years ago.

Facebook messenger contains messages like-

Her: "are you coming over? My parents aren't home".

Him: "tell your parents you forgot to buy something and come over, I'm home alone".

Him: "Let's take a bath together", "video call me I want to fantasize about you tonight", "my d##k is hard come hold it".

Recent messages showed they ocassionally texted about job openings, family and health matters.

I think this is proof enough that they used to have a sexual relationship before but when I confronted her she said they're only flirting and the sex never actually happened.

I know all these things happened in the past but I'm hurt she lied to me from the beginning. I'm angry and felt like an idiot hanging out with the family friend.

I really need some outside perspective.

My GF (F32) and I (M31) split our household bills proportionally based on our incomes, which felt totally fair. But lately, more arguments boils down to money, emotional boundaries, and what is "fair.

Her family needs for money for emergencies (e.g., medical) and she needs to support her mother monthly. It all falls on her. I’ve been chipping in, but I want to stop, especially since I see her mother wasting money on dumb (temu) things.

On top of that, my job gives me 3 more weeks of PTO per year than hers. She now wants us to split the cost of buying her extra vacation days so we have equal time off.

She says we’ll never be equals if she does need to pay for family and has less income + has less PTO. Furthermore, she needed to pay for a lot of things anf support her family, my study and driver's license got paid for. Now she wants to get a licence and hopes I'll split that to.

She claims I'm being defensive and unsupportive. I feel like "fairness" is being weaponized to guilt me into paying for her life.

Am I missing something here? Am I actually being selfish, or are these unreasonable expectations? Probably something in-between.

TL;DR: GF (F32) wants me (M31) to help pay for her family abroad and buy her extra PTO days to match mine because I make more money.

I’m 25F and my boyfriend is 27M. We’ve been together for about a year.

I’m an international student in the US. I originally came here with a five-year visa and thought I had plenty of time to finish school, but due to circumstances that recently changed (it would take way too long to explain all the immigration details here), I’m now in a situation where realistically I may either need to marry my boyfriend within the next few months or eventually return to my home country.

My boyfriend was actually the one who first brought
up marriage after finding out about the situation. But ever since we started seriously discussing marriage, we’ve been fighting constantly.
Even before this, one of my biggest issues with him was the way he speaks to me when he’s stressed or angry. He can be very harsh with his words, and I’ve told him many times that it hurts me.
Now, even though he was the one who initially brought up marriage, he keeps telling me that he isn’t sure about marrying me because I currently don’t make any money and still have about two years left before I graduate.

He has made it very clear that if we get married, he expects me to work once I’m able to. He is worried that I might decide not to work in the future, so he also wants a prenup. I was actually willing to agree to both of those things because I understand that he doesn’t want to be solely financially responsible for us forever.

But there’s another condition that has become a huge issue.
My father currently pays for my tuition and living expenses while I’m in school. My boyfriend says he does not want to marry me unless my father promises to continue paying for my tuition AND living expenses after we get married, until I graduate and get a job.
My parents strongly disagree with this. Their position is that once I choose to get married, I am choosing to become independent and build a household with my husband. They don’t think they should still be responsible for financially supporting their married daughter. They basically told me that once I’m married, finances should be something my husband and I figure out together.

My boyfriend is extremely angry about this and has said some really disrespectful things about my parents because of it. He thinks it’s ridiculous that my father would send me to the US and support me as a student but stop supporting me financially once I get married.

I’m really conflicted because I can understand some of my boyfriend’s perspective. This situation changed very suddenly. He thought we had years before we would ever need to seriously consider marriage, and now suddenly we’re talking about making that decision within months. I understand why that would be overwhelming and scary for him.
I also understand why he’s worried about finances. He didn’t plan on financially supporting a student for the next two years, and I understand why he wants reassurance that I intend to work and contribute financially in the future.
But at the same time, I’m starting to feel like everything is about what protects him and what makes him comfortable.

He constantly complains about the fact that I’m not working right now, even though I’m an international student and my ability to work is restricted. He keeps bringing up the fact that I’m still in school and not earning money. He also blames me for the fact that my immigration situation suddenly became time-sensitive, even though this wasn’t something I expected or intentionally caused.
He has already started telling me exactly how much money we would need to save every month after marriage and seems to expect that our financial life will basically follow whatever plan he decides is best.
So from my perspective, I’m being asked to sign a prenup, promise that I’ll work, agree to his savings expectations, AND somehow convince my father to continue financially supporting me after I become someone’s wife.
Meanwhile, I’m also supposed to accept the way my boyfriend talks to me when he’s stressed because he says this entire situation is putting him under enormous pressure.
I love him very much, which is what makes this so difficult. I don’t think he’s wrong for being scared about marrying someone who is still a student and currently has no income. I genuinely understand that this is a huge decision for him too.
But we’ve been fighting constantly for the past few months, and I keep asking myself: if our relationship is already like this before marriage, what happens when we face even bigger problems as a married couple?
At this point, I genuinely don’t know whether marrying him is the right decision or whether I should end the relationship, accept that I may have to return to my home country, and rebuild my life there.

I’m emotionally involved, so I don’t trust myself to see the situation objectively anymore.
What would you do in my position? Are his concerns and conditions reasonable given the circumstances, or am I ignoring serious red flags because I love him?
Please be honest. I really need outside perspectives.

Me [31M] and my girlfriend [31F] have been together for 16 years, since I was 15. The relationship in general has been great for the first 13 years, and I was sure we were going to be together forever. The last 3 years, however, things have steadily declined until the point I have reached today. My girlfriend has a very distinct personality to anyone I’ve ever met or heard of, I will describe a few of her behaviors here just to illustrate my point:

• She is very obsessive and a perfectionist, and finds it hard to understand how I can make mistakes. Losing something, breaking something, dropping something on the floor, hitting her accidentally, not cleaning something properly, etc. (EDIT: many people have widely misinterpreted this, by "breaking something" I mean breaking a clothespin when hanging clothes to dry, by "hitting her accidentally" I meant "bumping into her accidentally when walking past her". Come on people, my main issue is that I can't stand up to her at all, how can you interpret this in a way that is so opposed to the rest of the post?) All these things can make her get very angry, because in her mind it’s that “I do not care”, while, as I see it, there is no malice at all intended in any of these actions and it is absolutely not a “lack of care”, sometimes mistakes just happen. Well, unfortunately, not to her, she has never made any mistake similar to these, she truly is “perfect” in that sense. And when these things happen to me, she gets angry, I apologize a lot, we both cry, plans are cancelled (because she does not want anyone to see her after crying because her face is red and swollen) and in a couple of hours or the next day she is back to her usual, cheerful self.
• She has never felt regret in her life. She thinks that all the decisions she has made have been the appropriate ones with the information and context she had at the time. This means that any argument with heightened emotions has never ended up with a “I’m sorry if I overreacted” or “I’m sorry about how I treated you”, on the contrary, she says that as she gets older she realizes more and more the importance of standing your ground and says that next time she will react even more strongly and directly.
• She has an extreme moral compass. This is kind of hard to illustrate, but the best example I can come up with is her telling me: “if someone smokes and gets lung cancer, they should not be treated, it’s their fault and they deserve the consequences”. I understand her point, especially if you consider drugs as bad (and not as a coping mechanism, for instance) but it is brought to the extreme with her.
• She is “unmovable” once something is agreed upon, like our conversations become laws. As an example: If I say I will be home at a certain time and I get home 15 minutes later that is a cause for an argument. There is no valid possible excuse: “oh, I was having fun with friends and lost track of time”, “oh, the service was super slow and it took us longer than expected to have lunch”, “oh, my boss was rambling and the meeting ran late”. All of these are real issues that we’ve had in the past. And I should say, her issue is NOT “I want you to be home by a certain time”, her issue is “you promised me one thing and then did another”. She has told me many times to always tell her the “worst-case scenario” so that she is never disappointed. In her mind, the best thing I could do is always tell her I’ll be back at 3 in the morning and then she’ll receive a nice surprise when I get home earlier. She’d rather be happily surprised than constantly disappointed.
• She has to follow a very strict order in which things need to be done, and if I interfere with them she will get angry. One Sunday morning I was distracted and went to brush my teeth. She then came to the toilet and when she realized I was there she started crying, saying that I have always brushed my teeth after she went to the toilet, and that me brushing my teeth at that moment delayed her getting ready. She was right, of course, I made the mistake, but what leaves me speechless is that even when I said “I’m sorry, you’re right, I was distracted, I’ll stop brushing my teeth immediately and do it later, have the toilet immediately” she still got angry and cried, and in practice she was delayed by less than 10 seconds.
• She will not stand hearing me have a panic attack after our arguments. Whenever I have a panic attack my usual behavior is to go to the opposite end of the house and close myself in a room. But the last time I had a panic attack she still heard me and barged into the room I was in screaming telling me to “Stop having a panic attack!”, that she will not tolerate hearing me like this, she needs peace at home immediately. This has made me learn to have silent, covert panic attacks, where I don’t move or make a single noise.

I should say, I don’t want to make the relationship look as all bad, there are many positives that are not the focus of the post: suffice it to say that she loves me dearly and demonstrates it constantly, someone I am 100% sure will never betray or cheat on me, who is always looking forward to seeing me and who wants to spend all her free time with me. We’ve had many great moments together and I do feel we are completely aligned on all our values and plans for the future.

I am someone who is very submissive, has very low self-esteem and is dealing with anxiety and depression problems (which are mainly due to our arguments). Because of my mental health issues, I have been going to therapy alone for 2+ years. We have tried couples’ therapy for a few months but she found it useless so we stopped going (I thought that we made slow progress, but there 100% was progress).

This brings me to the reason for this post. She really wants to know how my therapy sessions go, and I have always talked to her about them. Sometimes it has gone well, but sometimes it has gone terribly. She disagrees with a lot of the conclusions reached in therapy, and the conversations end up with her crying and angry. All my therapists have always told me that I should never share anything I work in therapy with anyone, otherwise it defeats the purpose because therapy stops being a safe space for me. I have tried, many times, to tell my girlfriend that I didn’t want to talk to her about therapy but I always end up caving and telling her because she gets very angry when I don’t.

So, this last week, same story: after many sessions telling her about everything, the last session didn’t go very well. My therapist basically went a bit overboard criticizing my girlfriend (I am thinking of switching therapists, but that’s beside the point) and he told me very strictly to not tell my girlfriend about the session. When I got home, I had enough courage to tell my girlfriend, in a very happy and cheerful way, that I didn’t want to tell her about the session. She got angry, and locked herself in room for 10 minutes, and after that she came with a note telling me this:

• That in the past, when conversations about therapy went badly, I said that I shouldn't have told her anything and therefore now feels like this is a form of “punishment”.
• That if the main reason I’m not explaining it is because I don’t want to argue with her, that feels terrible to her: that even if other times conversations ended in arguments, it didn’t mean we ended up less connected, on the contrary, she felt more united with me because there was more transparency between us. Not telling her means I want less transparency.
• That the fact that the psychologist says it’s better not to talk about it with anyone is an excuse I use to avoid responsibility. That if I had decided not to tell her because I have been analyzing and thinking and I believe it’s better not to, after reflecting on the psychologist’s words, that would be different, but that excusing myself the way I do is bad.
• That we stopped couples therapy because we agreed I would continue going alone, and therefore my individual therapy is meant to resolve the problems between the two of us. For that reason, she can’t be excluded from therapy and wants to know what diagnosis I have, what I’m doing to improve my mental state, and what the action plan is for the future.
• That if now, after she has told me all of this, I tell her about therapy, she will also take it badly, because she will consider that I’m only doing it because I’m afraid of her.

A very strongly-worded and direct message said while crying and angry. I understand her points, I truly do, but I just want to follow the advice from my therapist. As I said, we’ve had this argument many times before (maybe 8-10 times), but this time, there was something different. I can’t explain why, but that day I felt extremely afraid of her. The feeling of “fear” is something recent to me. I used to be very anxious and nervous during our arguments but never “scared”, but in the last few months “scared” is the word that best describes how I feel.

So during this argument I was so terrified that, for the first time ever, instead of listening to her like a normal person, I curled up in a ball on the sofa and started crying. I had never exhibited this behavior before, I don’t know what happened, I suppose my body and mind simply shut down completely. I wasn’t able to say anything back in my defense, I just took everything. What traumatizes me is that my girlfriend, when she saw me like this, said “I can’t talk to you while you’re behaving like an abused animal, I need to talk to a functioning adult, change your posture immediately” and then kept going with her list of issues (and other unrelated issues from the past week that I haven’t mentioned).

I simply cannot look past this last argument. I have always thought she had less empathy than me (I am very empathic, top 10% percentile for sure) but that she was in the “normal” range. But this episode made me question that: I can’t imagine having an argument with someone, whatever the reason, whoever’s right, whoever started it, and seeing the other party in the worst state of their life and just keep going.

A few days after the argument I told her that I was traumatized by it and she said: “I can’t feel empathy for someone who behaves like a little kid during an argument and doesn’t stand up for themselves, you’re an adult, I can only empathize with an adult who is an equal. I don’t want you to associate showing such weakness as a way to stop arguments, that is a huge red flag and it is a toxic and manipulative behavior from your side, so I kept going as if you were in a normal state”.

That feels insane to me. All her other behaviors I can excuse as quirks or her having an unmovable mental state, but this episode makes me completely question her love towards me and how she views the suffering of other people.

So, my question is: can anyone shed light on her point of view in the latest argument?

TL;DR: My girlfriend did not stop verbally attacking me even when I’m curled up in a ball and behaving, in her words, as an “abused animal”, because she did not feel any empathy towards me.

EDIT: I failed to mention that I've moved out of the house and have gone to live with my parents for the last 3 days after this argument. I haven't talked to my girlfriend during these 3 days, and that has been easy because she is angry with me for an unrelated reason: One of our rules between us is that she needs precise reminders of events exactly 24 hours before them and will get very angry if I don’t do them. Let’s say I’m meeting a friend Wednesday after work. I have to remind her exactly on Tuesday after work. It can’t be on the weekend, can’t be Monday, can’t be Tuesday morning, can’t be Wednesday morning, can’t be Wednesday an hour before, those do NOT work.
Since I had just moved out I did not send her a message reminding her of my event (a birthday party of a friend) so she got angry with me once she realized.

While I opened my husbands phone to send pictures of our daughter from his phone to mine, his texts were left open. And though I know I shouldnt have, I read what he said, because I saw a picture of a celebrity I liked.

Under the photo he said he saw someone at a store who looked like her and she was "just his type" but that she was just a little more goth.

The only thing I have on common with said celebrity is skin complexion because I believe she is also half PuertoRican like me. I have curly hair (girl had straight hair), i am 5m PP and lost 40lbs since giving birth. im Gothic in music and interests, no longer in fashion. Aka nothing like this celebrity and I bet even less like the girl he saw.

Now, the thing is, my husband in the last 4 years of being together, has never called me pretty, said XYZ outfit looked nice on me, or anything among those lines. Which I know yall must already be thinking WTF why would you marry someone like this??

Ive never been complimented by a single man a day in my entire life so to me it didnt matter. Clearly I have some self confidence lacking. But it hasnt gotten to me until right now.

He can tell his friend how some girl apparently looked so good that she was just his type, but in the last 4 years of knowing me couldn't give me a single compliment?? Im not celebrity status pretty, clearly, but I wouldn't say I look so unbearable you couldn't find a single thing to compliment me on. I haven't seen him ever say anything about me being pretty to his friends either.

The other day I just asked why he doesn't compliment me and it's it because he thinks im ugly and all he said was "bruh". It's said in that way when you think someone is being dramatic like, bruh.

I have 0 idea if I should even feel bad because really I allowed the to happen to myself. I believe you can love someone and not think theyre necessarily attractive because love is not about looks. But it still hurts knowing the person you love might not think of you like that.

Like.. what really can i even do? I can't leave, we have a baby together. Like imagine leaving because "he didn't call me pretty". And I can't force him to give compliments because then it will suck me knowing it's not genuine. Anyone else been through anything similar? If so advice?

TL;DR my husband said a stranger at the store looks like a celebrity who is "just his type" meanwhile has never called me pretty in 4yrs.

Ok so this is my first time using Reddit so please bear with me. Just some background on me cause this will help the story, I am a victim of COCSA by two girls that were my babysitters when I was about 11-12

EDITED IN - Me and her have had a discussion in the beginning of our relationship to waking up to sex, she’s told me that she likes it cause she has like a pillow princess kink and she just likes to be dominated and “used”. Her words not mines

Yesterday night into the morning me and my GF were cuddling as usual, I don’t see her for 3 weeks cause of work but when I’m home I’m here for 3 weeks. So naturally when I’m home I am very affectionate with her. Just context over this week I have only been home for a week now and day two we were cuddling and fell asleep and I woke up “in the mood”.

Me and her aren’t no stranger to doing it in the morning let alone when either of us is asleep, so I naturally start touching on her and she kinda wakes up and starts going along with it and we go at it. Now two more days later we’re all cuddled up again and she’s laying on me the same way and a few hours go by and I start touching on her, nothing as extreme as I would usually do just putting my hand on her butt. Then I move her to a more comfortable position cause her leg was digging into my hip and she gets up and looks at me pissed off and rolls over off of me and then it clicked that she was knocked out, sometimes she’ll be laying down and her eyes are closed but she ain’t asleep so I thought that’s what happened cause it was late but she usually is up super late with me.

So we fall asleep and hours later she wakes up and so do I, she then says “stop trying to have sex with me when I’m asleep” and I said “oh I’m sorry I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable” and I go back to looking for breakfast for her cause she has things to do. Through out the whole day she won’t talk to me then at around 5pm she says “you’re not going to address anything?” And I already know where this is going so I told her I apologized and she goes onto saying that she’s told me many times that she doesn’t wanna have me wake her up to have sex, which at times she has said but there also has been times where she’ll intentionally wanna have sex but she’ll seem as if she’s asleep or even I’ll be on the brink of falling asleep.

So we start having the discussion about it and she goes and says “you’re acknowledging what you did but partially, cause you do know this is sexual assault” and I was blown back by that statement. She also goes onto saying that I didn’t do to make up for it at the time or through out the day, but she was doing her moms make up and hair all day so I don’t know how she really expected me to. And I’m just tired at this point cause in my head we seem to always have a long hours of a discussion of something I did wrong or just how my tone is or if I find something wrong that I didn’t like she’ll catch an attitude towards me now. So I just apologized again to her about it and she said “so that’s all you gotta say?” I’m still stuck at this point and then she’s wanting to admit I sexually assaulted her and about an hour later of her pretty much drilling me about it. I honestly give up and just apologized and included that I was sorry for sexually assaulting her last night.

She continues talking to me about how I just don’t have anything else to say, and my apology wasn’t just a basic one like “I’m sorry I assaulted you” I said “I apologize for sexually assaulting you last night, what I did was wrong and I fucked up by making you uncomfortable and that’s my fault, I won’t do it again” I don’t know if that was the wrong way to say it but she just kept going but then I got to thinking, a few months ago me and her were high and I decided to fall asleep, and she knows the whole story of what happened to me when I was young, she also knows when I’m high and I fall asleep I don’t know why but I get kinda like on the edge, like for example if I fell asleep high and someone tried to wake me up I will jump up as if someone broke into my house and she also knows I don’t like sexual acts when I’m high it makes me feel weird. So I lay down and she starts touching in my pants and I wake up and I froze up cause at first I couldn’t register what was really going on then I realized it was her but my body did the whole freeze up thing it used to do when I was young and I started freaking out and I was whispering her to stop but she wouldn’t so I finally unfroze and moved my myself from her and through out the day I kinda was in a weird daze like so zoned out, not like how she was yesterday cause she was just mad I wouldn’t address it, but I honestly don’t even remember the full day I just remember telling her how she made me feel and I felt like I was getting sexually assaulted.

She then goes and apologizes but goes on a rant how that’s not what she did and it’s not her fault and just all the deflecting. So when it clicked to me that honestly I realized she only cares and wants me to care cause it’s something I did to her I kinda just shut down. But “she goes and says that she doesn’t always wanna have sex with me cause she doesn’t feel that vulnerability with me” which also confused me cause before I left like last month we’re going at it like animals and instigated as much as I did let alone when she’s drunk she damn there just strips me down and I down say word, ill be chilling watching tv or on the game and she’ll be drunk and just come all over me then boom we’re going at it, so I was again confused, then she said used my experience of COCSA to use how I’m acting in the situation. She said “if those two girls were here just apologizing not doing more would you accept it?”, but the level those girls were on was nowhere near what I did. They did extreme stuff to where to can say it was borderline grape,

Just a view I used to have super long hair, they would put them in pintails and always have me in my underwear and do crazy stuff to me to all parts of me. And to her what happened to me was the same thing I did her to. So I was even more blown back, and from there I just left the conversation cause she started saying how she’s been trying to help me not just be mute in our arguments but I’m only mute cause she’ll interrupt, says she doesn’t care for what else i gotta say or she’ll say something so wild I’m genuinely lost. So yea here I am now still trying to get rid of this headache and I need someone’s help with this.

UPDATE: um so yea she has hinge on her phone and has been texting other guys, also she’s been on a date with a “sugar daddy” while I was gone working. So this could be the reason she doesn’t feel “vulnerable” with me, I think she’s using excuses to detach from me but still get the benefits of having a BF. Like she wants the single fun but the BF security from me

I have a strained relationship with my parents. I've been trying to rebuild my relationship with them slowly over time, but it seems like anytime any progress is made, we end up taking a huge leap backwards.

I don't want to go into too much detail for privacy reasons, but this post may get long, so I apologize in advance.

I have had a childhood full of parentification. I am the youngest of 3 daughters, and my two older siblings are mentally handicapped. They're older than me, but have the mental age of 7-10 on good days, and 4-6 on bad days. They will likely end up in my care when my parents eventually pass away. My parents made me into a 3rd parent, therapist, and financer. I was working to help pay bills from a young age. Every problem was told to me, whether or not it was appropriate. My entire childhood revolved around taking care of my sisters. It is because of that, that I ended up moving out at 17 y/o, and having low contact with my family for about 5 years when I moved out of state.

I love my sisters dearly, and it is because of them that I refuse to cut contact with my parents. It is because of them that I'm trying to hard to maintain a relationship with my parents. It was never their fault how I was treated.

My feelings for my parents are complicated. I love them and value them dearly, and I enjoy spending time with them on our set weekends, but I generally try to see them as little as possible.

I moved back to the state my parents live in at the end of May (2026), so my husband and I can be closer to family, and so my husband can go to college in the major of his choice. Before moving back, we'd moved to various places and states for about 5 years. We moved onto my In-laws farm to help out with the plants and animals, save money for college/emergency fund, and try to figure out what to do with our lives. Essentially, live in farm hands that are also related. We pay discounted rent and utilities, and have been fairly comfortable here.

The property is about 45 minutes away from my parents house, which is the only reason I was ok moving here in the first place. I thought that with that amount of distance, they wouldn't be dropping in and invading my space like the used to do. I thought that we'd finally moved past that point in our relationship. I thought my parents had built up some kind of respect for me, my time, and my wishes, and relationships. There was a lot of improvement based off of their previous behavior in those categories.

Here's the issue: My parent's showed up at the property, completely unannounced. I'd told them when we first moved back to the state that, under no circumstances, are they to show up unannounced. I told them that they would need to contact me to verify that it was ok to show up/ I would be home. I let them know that since it's my in-laws property, i would need 24 hours in advance to let my in-laws know they were coming so that no misunderstandings or awkward encounters happen. And, i told them I would give them the address to the property, when i was ready to have them over, and not any sooner.

I did not give my address to my parents. I told them the city, and the general area, and they took it from there. They brought my sisters along with them, telling my sisters it was a surprise. (It was a huge surprise for me too.) They said they were just going for a drive, were in the area, and decided they wanted to stop by to say hi and get hugs.

Going on a Sunday drive is normal for my family. Been doing that for as long as I can remember. But, usually, it's into the canyons to have a picnic, look at the scenery, and enjoy nature. Not all the way across town into neighborhoods.

They drove slowly down the streets looking for my car, and took a wild guess on the building I live in based on where my car was parked. (there's multiple buildings that look livable on the property.) They did not message me beforehand, claiming their phone service was off. But even then, they still have Wi-Fi, and have me added on snapchat, so they could've contacted me that way.

Needless to say, when i opened my door and saw my dad, I was completely flabbergasted. I was in shock. I had so many things running through my head. I couldn't be mad at that moment. I just stepped outside and chatted with them for a little bit, gave hugs, and sent them on their way. They were maybe here for all of 20 minutes. They'd tried to invite themselves into my home, but i said it was too messy and i wasn't prepared, so they dropped it. I never thought to ask why in the world they thought it was a good idea. I didn't have to ask how they found my house, they told me exactly how they did it, super proudly.

They've stomped all over a clear boundary i set with them months ago. They knew what i expected of them, and how to go about it, but made absolutely no effort to actually follow the boundary i set. This isn't the first time they've stomped all over a boundary, but there's been almost a year between incidents, including this one.

This all happened yesterday, and it hit me this morning just how creepy it is, and how violating it is. I wasn't mad yesterday, but today I'm angry about it, because it finally processed.

TLDR; My parents showed up uninvited and unannounced at my place, WITHOUT me telling them the address, though I'd stated clearly my boundary about wanting them to wait until i was ready to have them over, and to always let me know beforehand. They stomped all over this boundary I'd set several months ago, and now my trust in them has been fractured greatly.

How do I confront this situation? What do I say? A conversation definitely needs to be had, but I'm just not sure how to approach it or go about it. Any advice on this situation would be helpful. I'll answer any questions in the comments.

(no, I'm not cutting them off, because of my sisters.)

My son was born about 6 years ago and my wife and I's relationship took a nose dive shortly after that. Won't go into great detail but she was basically always on edge/anxious which caused her to lash out at others (mainly my son and I) among other things. About a year of working through it she finally went her doctor and was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety. She was prescribed a low dose anti-anxiety medication and shortly after, our relationship and her relationship with our son improved dramatically. It felt like she was back to how she was before our son was born. It felt like I had my wife back. For the next 4 and half years both our relationship and the relationship with her and our son was awesome. However, about 6 months ago she decided she wanted to get off her medication. She said it was making her not feel like herself and it was also causing her to her restless legs syndrome. We talked about it and I said I would support her decision of getting off the medication as it is her body and ultimately her decision. I did mention maybe a lower dose would be better but she insisted on coming completely off. She did say that she would seek therapy to help her deal with coming off it and develop coping skills.

Fast forward to present day and her demeanor is back to where it was before she was prescribed her medication. She is constantly lashing out at my son and I(has incredibly short temper). She holds grudges and doesn't really speak to me past surface level for weeks on end. Intimacy between us is nonexistent(not just sex). My son comes to me more than my wife which then causes more problems as she gets upset by that. She gets really anxious about life stressors. Things like common situations where my son could get hurt like playing on a jungle gym can cause near panic attack levels of anxiousness. I could go on but ya, it's really bad.

I have tried talking to her about the issues in our relationship(not about coming off her medication) we have been having but she just blames me for them. Although, most of the time she won't even speak to me about it. In regards to talking to her coming off the medication, we talked in the beginning about how she was doing and I was honest with her in the things I was seeing but nothing seemed to really change. I also mentioned the fact that she said she was get therapy if she came off but she doesn't think she needs it. Now, at this point if I talk to her about anything to do with medication or therapy it instantly starts a fight.

At this point I am really at my limit. I can handle her panic attacks and needing help calming down but everything else that is a result of it (lashing out, grudges, lack of intimacy, etc.) is just to much. I want to tell her point blank that she needs to get back on the medication or see a therapist but I am apprehensive. I don't want to force her to do anything but it's gotten to the point that it affects both my son and I on a daily basis. If I force the situation, I am afraid she will resent me for it even if it helps, but if I do nothing and let it slide, my son and I just have to live with it.

What is the correct way to handle this type of situation?

EDIT: Just so it's clear, her anxiety causes her to become scared. When she gets scared she lashes out, pulls away, etc. This was all explained to her when she went to see a doctor initally.

EDIT2: With all the "just leave her" comments I just want to say my wife is not a horrible person. When things are great, they are manageable. The problem is more often than not life is not always great and that's when problems arise. I really don't want to leave her because I know we are capable of having a good relationship because we had one in the past.

We’ve known each other for 7 years, dated seriously for 3 1/2. We have been best friends almost the entire 7 years and have slowly begun reconnecting romantically this year. I’m sorry this is long and I really appreciate anyone who reads it in its entirety.

He is an alcoholic and very transparent about it. It’s destroyed many aspects of his life in the past and he’s been making very good moves to straighten his life out and become more serious about his future. I moved into his place to help with rent in January, when he was unemployed, and we just moved into a new place in a better area last month. He’s been dealing with health problems for a while and once he has a procedure done tomorrow, and can finally get some answers for symptoms, he plans to begin getting out into the workforce again. His last relationship apparently hid her drinking from him and that is causing a lot of this suspicion.

I love him dearly and have stuck by his side through everything. It wasn’t always easy but I know the person he is and the mental struggles and addictions that alter that. However he sees in me the same addiction. __I’m mostly sober.__ The only times I ever drink are on the rare occasions he slips and buys alcohol himself. If he has the money, I can’t prevent him from doing this and he never wants to drink alone. I can’t stand being around drunk people sober so I have at max 2-3 drinks. That’s the only time. I have struggled before with never knowing my tolerance as a short woman and a little abuse of alcohol in 2023 when we split for a while, but I’ve learned how to read my body’s signals now and I’m no longer in that mental space.

He knows my opinion on him drinking but also knows that I have never tried to shame him for mistakes. I understand addictions are fucked to experience.

I’m looking to build my life with him. We got a place that I pay for all on my own that I’m proud of, we have his emotional support dog, and I just got a promotion of sorts at work that allows the opportunity for more pay. I’m excited and hes the only person I have ever wanted to share these things with. He sees my normal behavior as suspicious though and we can’t seem to get over it or get past it. He says he knows the signs because he lived thw life of a secretive alcoholic in his past. For example:

• Yesterday was a very busy morning for me before work and I didn’t have time to brush my teeth. I threw the toothpaste/toothbrush in my bag and brushed my teeth once I got there. He asked that evening where the toothpaste was and I said it was in my bag, and got it for him. He clocked that as “alcoholic behavior”. He had said the same once when I brushed my teeth immediately after getting home from work because I could tell that my breath was awful. Also suspicious to him. Says I slur my words sometimes and I do, because I’m talking too fast for my body to keep up. It’s really hot in our apartment so if I’m really tired, I like laying on the floor. I’ll sometimes fall asleep there without brushing my teeth, which is just a bad habit I’ve had since high-school. My family would recognize that in an instant as normal but now that he is seeing me completely unmasked in a safe space, he’s reading into all my normal behaviors. My mom has walked in on me sleeping on the living room floor more times than my own bed.

I’m neurodivergent and have been extremely stressed by the responsibilities of finally living on my own and being financially responsible for everything right now and it has led to me be a bit more standoffish than I guess I used to be. (The dog noises are too much sometimes, or the tv is too loud, theres too many things touching me, etc.) I also get headaches often for no discernible reason. This has also led him to see me as hiding something. I can’t vent to him about money stress because I understand the position he’s in and am not trying to make him feel bad, but then I have no one else to talk to and I have to bottle things up because if I’m in a bad mood it puts him in a bad mood. Which he says gives him all the reasons why someone would drink. He is being very compassionate about it too which makes it worse. He wants to “be there for me” and wants to help me out, says he knows how destructive and isolating alcohol can be, says he’ll always be there for me even if it’s ten years from now and we’re on different paths. But I’m not fucking drinking!

I bought a pocket breathalyzer the last time he accused me but he doesn’t choose to use it because he doesn’t confront me about it till I wake up so I “have a clear mind”. I’ve offered to show him my bank records, I’ve planned on buying pee tests to somehow rebuild trust that I never betrayed… but I just feel so hurt he thinks I would jeopardize our relationship over alcohol. My mom drilled it into me how bad alcohol is and I would be just fine if it disappeared from life forever. But he acts like he’s made up his mind and nothing I say can change it.

Has anyone else ever dealt with something like this? He scoffs when I say he’s projecting his problems and past onto me. Says he’s not “looking for an out” either. He wants to live with me and he wants to be with me. But he can’t jeopardize his journey to sobriety. No logic or proof seems to be enough that I AM ALSO SOBER.

TLDR: my partner is an alcoholic with a past relationship that hid alcohol abuse. He intermittently, but very compassionately and caring, accuses me of drinking when I’m dead sober by reading into behaviors that stem from my own hygiene insecurities (brushing my teeth/hand washing) and neurodivergency. No amount of proof or pleading is enough to change his mind. How can I approach this with the same sternness but compassion he’s dealing out to me?

My (28F) boyfriend (26M) and I have been dating for almost 2 years and living together for the past year. Everything was perfect at first up until the start of the year where our sex life started being virtually non-existing (once every 2 months or so) and I started feeling attracted to other people. I didn’t relate these two up until recently.

I would say every other area is a dream. We are very close, get along really well, support each other in everything, work equally on our home, can talk openly about everything, and are best friends who love each other a lot. Still, having sex feels like an effort and has lost all the chemistry and excitement it did in the beginning. We think it’s the comfort and routine, but forcing it also feels cringe. I am becoming a bit bored with the husband-wife dynamics and really miss novelty.

I am really struggling with understanding whether this is a normal phase that can be overcome with some work or whether the romantic relationship has run its course. For him, everything was fine until I brought it up, though he is willing to make some changes and save what can be saved.

The crushes I have on other people are very intense and I miss my peace. I am also aware that this pattern might just repeat with other relationships. On the other hand, I feel I have something rare, the chance to date the kindest person in the world, and the most compatible match I ever had. I would really struggle with breaking that apart.

TLDR: everything works amazing except for sexual and romantic intimacy. We feel more life best friends than lovers and I’ve been dealing with crushes for over half a year.

What does your experience say? Any tips?

My GF and I are long distance. 3 hours apart. it’s hard but we’re making it work. We’ve been dating a year.

Last Saturday night she asked me if she could start making friends with men on “bumble friends”. I asked her why she couldn’t make friends with women, and she said, “I have a hard time making friends with women, men are so much easier to get along with.” I told her that it sounded like she wanted to go on dates with other men. She assured me that “No, it’s not that, men are just easier to be friends with, I don’t want to date anyone but you.” I told her that I wasn’t okay with this, and if she wanted to meet up with other men from “friends” apps, we’d have to break up because it crossed a line for me.

She relented and said that she wouldn’t meet men over friends apps.

I am still turned off by the entire conversation and I am considering breaking up with her. Clearly she is trying to meet other single men one on one and date them.

Thoughts?

I (42f) have been with (49m) my boyfriend for a few years. We've been pretty serious and have had a pretty good relationship. I have some chronic medical issues that I am on some pretty serious medication for and I have also been on anxiety and depression medication since 2021. I was going through a major depressive episode from losing my marriage of 20 years and have been on the medications ever since. Saw my psychiatrist and kept up with therapy all this time. Was doing pretty well emotionally. He was always critical of me being on medication. He was okay with the meds I need for my physical illness, but not psychiatric medication. He researched them and told me one was used for downsyndrome and he questioned me on why I would let myself be on that. He really pressed and pressed that I should be off these medications for many months, finally I just wanted to make him happy and I talked to my psychiatrist who agreed I was in a good place to begin to taper off. I did a taper that lasted around 2.5 months for 2 medications. Once I went all the way off the medications I started having major health issues that I am trying to get a diagnosis for and going through a lot of tests. Needless to say since they are testing for some pretty serious stuff and I feel like I am on death's door every day due to the fatigue and symptoms, my anxiety and depression has really been rough.

I'm crying a lot and scared. Very sensitive, I am snappy. but I am kind of angry because he wanted me to be off these medications but he says I have no excuse no matter what to act the way I do and if I am going to cry, to just get out of his house and go home. I just wanted to be able to talk to him and vent to him about how I am feeling about everything going on. It is also highly likely that what they think is causing my symptoms is cortisol/hormone related.

I told him to me it feels very controlling, and I don't like feeling like someone is trying to control me. He swears he is just trying to help me.

I want to keep the relationship. I love him very dearly, but I feel like I am letting him down if I go back on the medication and honestly it was really so hard to get off of it that I feel like going back on is like giving up.

I'm very sad and broken hearted. I am not sure what to do. I was emotionally doing well without the medication until all this other life stress happened with the other medical issues.

I am just wondering if any one else has gone through this or what your advice would be?

For context, girlfriend grew up really poor with really awful parents who were strict and weird about everything. This included when to shower and how often.

Moved in with my girlfriend in July, and learned that her showering habits are not ideal. She goes to school then works in a kitchen everyday from 10-8, and refuses to shower until about every 4-5 days. She says she hates how water feels on her skin. Worst case scenario happened today, I pulled her pants down and almost gagged at the smell. This has got to end but I’m nervous on how to tell her. Anyone got any advice?

I (32F) have been with my partner (33M) for 4 years. Lately I havent been happy and have been feeling neglected and unloved. I have tried raising issues with him many times over the last year and nothing changed.

Last weekend I told him that since nothing had changed and that I wasn't happy anymore that I thought it was time for us to move apart. He absolutely broke down. And this is a man who never shows emotion or affection (two of the reasons I'm unhappy). He has depression and said he can't live without me and was literally begging me to stay and try again. In the moment I couldn't say no, I wasn't strong enough. I didn't realise he cared so much and loved me so much. I was expecting him to feel the same as me. So I said we could try, both agreed to put in more effort.

Now, a few days later, I'm back to feeling the same. Not a lot has changed to make me feel better in the relationship but I know I've already hurt him so much and made him feel even more depressed. So now I feel like I can't end it any time soon because I still care about him and don't want to break him now I know how he really feels.

When I said I was going to stay at my brothers in the initial conversation he said 'what's the point in even living anymore'. So I'm so afraid of what he would do/where his mind would go if I leave.

TLDR: I tried to break up with my partner, he was way more emotional than I expected so I agreed to stay. Now still feel like I want to leave but am not strong enough to do it.

Any advice would be appreciated. How do I go about this while ensuring his mental health is protected?

I need others opinions before my brain melts out of my head. I made a friend a couple of months ago. I had seen her a few times in town, said hello, loved how she smiled at me, and felt as though I wanted to know her. Then on a whim one day I saw her crossing the road into town and I ran up to her, told her I always thought she looked like a character in a book and asked if she would be my friend, she said yes and invited me to visit her.

We've been meeting up at least once a week ever since and spending hours together, but there's something about our friendship that feels as though it is a romantic friendship. I am absolutely attracted to her, physically and mentally, she's endlessly fascinating, funny, theatrical, eccentric and clever, and bloody hell she's beautiful, she looks like an old Hollywood star and wears white shirts with big cuffs, a black neck tie and black trousers and boots...she's just beautiful.

I'll list some of my "evidence" below, for why I think that....perhaps? She might feel similarly towards me, too, and I'd love everyone's opinion... (Although, please no comments on the age gap, unless they're positive, I've always been attracted to older women, and I have no issue with that).

- she told a friend she had visiting while I was with her that she and I "met by chance and fell madly in love"

- we spend an inordinate amount of time telling each other how beautiful each other are in as many different ways as we seem to be able to find.

- she calls me "my darling/my darling girl, my funny girl, my strange curiosity/my paramour"

- Whenever we walk together we seem to gravitate towards each other, bumping hands and glancing at each other, and she notices things, she asked if I used to dance because of the way I walked and my posture, she told me my eyes looked suddenly more blue than they usually did (oddly I'd just been thinking the same about hers, and told her. It must have been the sky/weather).

- I bumped into her outside a cafe where she was having lunch with a friend and she called me over with a "Darling! Come HERE!" held my hand the entire time and was so thrown off by seeing me she momentarily forgot her friends name when she went to introduce us. I jokingly gave her friend my name in case she had forgotten that too and she said "My darling, I could never forget you" and then said to her friend "this is who I was telling you about, isn't she wondrous? Isn't she beautiful?"

- She has a copy of Sappho's poetry and a copy of After Sappho in her bedroom that I noticed yesterday.

- We were talking about how her mother had been jealous of her as a child and I started to ask if perhaps it was because her mother recognised whatever it was in her that made her so magnetic but I glanced at her chest, apologised and said I didn't know why I glanced at her chest as though I could see whatever it was that made her magnetic and she unbuttoned the middle two buttons of her shirt and held it open so I could see her bra and the middle of her chest and said "can you see it?" (I malfunctioned and forgot what I was saying).

- We were playing catch with her grandchild on the field, standing in a triangle and we kept gravitating towards one another to stand in each others personal space instead of standing in our corners.

- She invited me to join her poetry reading group with her, which I did. I sit next to her once a month at the group, squashed together, leaning in to each other, laughing together and exchanging unnecessary touches, and I know we must look from the outside as though something is going on because I could tell from the looks of bewildered curiosity from the people sitting opposite us. On the first poetry group meeting during the break they served cubed melon on plates, she held a plate between us and hand fed me bits of melon with her fingers. I didn't tell her I hate melon, because I enjoyed the delivery of it, now every poetry night I get hand fed melon that I don't like just because of how it makes me feel to be hand fed by this incredibly elegant, theatrical woman who's eyes sparkle every time she looks at me.

- She genuinely looks at me as though she adores me, it's like she's lit up from the inside, and I know I do the same.

- She has invited me to go to London with her, and to go down to Sussex to stay for a night or two, and whenever we say goodbye to each other it is the longest, most drawn out process of each of us finding ways to prolong it, yesterday she decided to tell me about each piece of artwork on the way to her front door (of which there are many!) and every time we part she bows and I curtsey.

I have no idea how to talk to her about it, or what to say if I did, or how to bring it up. But whatever the outcome is, I would be content loving her out loud with her or quietly loving her anyway and just enjoying her company. She is the most interesting, fascinating woman I've met. She's wonderful.

Thank you for any thoughts x

I had this amazing first date last night. We were gelling so well, it was so easy to talk to him, he was so funny and confident and was bringing this out of me too. We each had a couple drinks and walked around, it was very spontaneous and I actually ended up going back to his.

Didn’t sleep with him but cuddled, got barely any sleep etc., it felt natural and comfortable and lovely.

Then this morning…I’m a bit tired, a bit hungover, don’t really want to be there but not because I don’t like him, but I got a bit shy and maybe a bit awkward. He seemed completely fine and alert, still very charming and just nice.

It sounds silly but was just wondering if other girls experience the same?? The guy genuinely just seemed so fine and cool still and I felt like my social battery was nonexistent, now sad it might mean I get ghosted as that was the last impression I left even though the night before was so fun and easy 😞

UPDATE either he didn’t notice or didn’t care cause he gave his # and asked me to text him in the end and guess I’ll see where this goes!!! Thanks for all the advice and occasional tough love :)xxx

My husband and i have been together since 2019, slowly over time he stopped showing me attention,care, effort, you name it. Its like he cant be bothered to care

And no i dont just mean sex i mean everything else. He doesnt compliment me, hug me, kiss me, make an effort to spend time with me , and didnt even say happy birthday to me last week ..

Ive tried FIVE, five times ro have conversation with him about how i feel and see if we can fix it, first conversation all he said was okay , i asked him to say more he wouldnt and went to bed, next day i said it hurt my feelings he said okay, i said thats it? He said what do you want me to say i said how about your sorry? He said i wont because im not. Third time he said if im unhappy then just LEAVE, fourth time (yesterday) he said okay okay okay and that he will not talk about it and does not want too.

I asked him how he thinks thats okay to just deny me to ever have a conversation with me about our relationship and this is my millionith time trying and i cant just keep ignoring it and act like everythings okay. He still did not care. I said i was done

Today after things cooled down i asked him if he had any thoughts or feelings about what i said yesterday he said nope , i said do you just not care , ignores me , please dont ignore me, i do, okay then anything to say? Nope.

Idk how much longer i can keep doing this? If he made even a little effort to talk and fix the problem or even reassure me that he even actually likes me at this point then fine but he wont say a damn word and just shuts down or gets mad. When i start the conversation in a non confrontational manner i really just wanted to try to talk things out and see if we can work through it. But if he wont say anything or even after he just lets me talk doesnt do anything to fix what i mentioned what can i do?

Im at the point where i dont know if this can be fixed. Any advice

My (21F) bf (23M) and I have been dating for nearly two years now. And we have sex about once or twice a week on average, which is fine because we have similar sex drives and that’s perfect for me . However I feel like I’m way kinkier than he is. I’m into a lot of things. daddy kink, degradation, cnc (taboo I know but it stems from trauma), etc. I’ve let him know of these things with hints. For instance, I told him I find it hot to be called a slut. He told me he would feel bad calling me that and instead he calls me a ‘harlot’ in bed. It just doesn’t hit the same lmao. I told him I liked to be slapped/choked and he does it like he’s scared/feels bad. It’s endearing that he obviously cares for me and doesnt want to be disrespectful but to be frank if it’s sexual in nature I LIKE being disrespected. I’d also like to introduce toys or handcuffs or something but idk how to properly approach the topic. We are connected in the sense he prefers to be dominant and I prefer to be submissive, but I feel like if I brought up all the stuff I’m into with him I might scare him off or something. He’s also taken my virginity and we plan on getting married soon so he’s the only experience I have. I understand i just need to communicate but what’s the best way to go about asking him without being too crude?

For context, I'm divorced and I have a three year old kid. I see her one week, drop her off her mom's the next. Been like this for a year now.

I've pretty much my whole salary compromised into child care and other bills. I do have enough left to go out and do whatever I want but I've been putting that on getting a place for myself because I've been living with my father for all this time since separating.

I met this girl a month ago or so, we've been going out, slept together, walked her dog together, she makes me breakfast, lays out her entire weeks schedule for me to pick a day.

I realized I really like her. I'm not interested in anyone else. At the same time, this period of my life is... shit. Not having my own place, not letting her in to mundane bits of my life because of it like she's let me so far.

She's a doctor, has her own place, is used to traveling and just generally enjoying life a lot. Which I guess I could keep up with had not been still looking for a place of my own at this point in life.

We're going out again this week and I'm just thinking of going to pretty much say the same thing I'm saying here; I really really like you. I leave wanting to see you again, but I'm in a shit place in life.

Well... I'm as lost on what to do as on what to ask of you all. What would you do in my place, or hers? I'd really hope for all these concerns to just be unresolved trauma from my past relationship but I tend to guess pretty well for a pessimist.

I’m 21 years old and in my third year of college, and I’m struggling with something I don’t really know how to handle anymore, my mom is hindering my ability to make friends and have a social life.

My mom has always been extremely controlling. She would always talk over or for me. In middle school, I couldn’t go anywhere . By high school, people had established their friend groups, and I stopped being invited to places.

Now I’m 21, in college, and I still feel like I’m living under the same rules. I feel like its worse now because I actually have a chance now .I’m in a sorority one that she made me join and involved in other organizations. I have people I can hang out with. I get invited places and she still wont let me go. when i was a freshman/sophmore it made sense because i didn't have a car or people to go with but now i have both and she still won't let me go places because she thinks its unsafe. It seems like the goal post is always moving, I can't tell if this is her way of keeping me safe, or she just wants me to control mem but either way I can't handle another year friendless and alone, now that I know I can make friends and have a social life.

I’m having a really hard time making close friends, and I worry that I’m going to lose opportunities to develop friendships because I constantly have to say no to people or leave early. I’m in a sorority that my mom actually encouraged me to join, but I’m worried I won’t be able to form close relationships with my sisters because I can’t participate in things outside of campus.

I don't want to destroy our realtionship, expecially since she won't let me work to support myself, but I would like a chance to have a normal college social life and need advice on how the best to do that?

Edit for clarity: going no contact is not what I’m looking for/able to do at the moment. I just want advice on what to say to her/ do to gain some autonomy and have some sort of social life. I don’t need to hear that she is crazy and that it’s simple to get a job and cut her off because she isn’t and it’s not.