The older I get, the more life starts to feel like everything comes with a subscription fee.
Not just Netflix or Spotify.
Friendships too.
You don't necessarily pay with money. Sometimes you pay with your time, attention, emotional availability, favors, invitations, social status, connections, or simply by making yourself useful to each other.
And if you stop paying?
The subscription quietly expires.
You stop initiating conversations, the friendship slowly disappears.
You stop showing up, people stop inviting you.
You stop putting in effort, the relationship gradually becomes distant.
You move to another city, suddenly years of friendship fade out.
And I know this is probably just how adult life works. Everyone has jobs, relationships, responsibilities, different schedules, different priorities, and limited energy.
But isn't it kind of frustrating?
Why does everything have to be maintained constantly?
Why can't some things just stay?
When you're a kid, friendship seems almost effortless. You meet someone, spend time together every day, and somehow you're best friends.
As an adult, it feels like you have to continuously renew every relationship or risk losing it.
And it's not just relationships either.
Your career requires constant investment.
Your body requires constant maintenance.
Your skills require constant learning.
Your social life requires constant effort.
Even your sense of self seems to require maintenance.
Is this just what adulthood actually is?
Is everything in life inherently temporary unless we continuously invest in it?
Are relationships supposed to work this way, where caring about someone isn't enough unless you continuously demonstrate it through time and effort?
And if you stop paying the "subscription fee" for a while because you're tired, busy, depressed, or simply need to focus on yourself, does that mean the relationship wasn't strong enough—or is that simply the natural expiration of most adult relationships?
Sometimes I wonder if adulthood is basically just learning that nothing stays unless you keep paying for it.
Does anyone else feel this way, or am I just looking at adult life in an overly cynical way?