I (19F) and my bf (18M) have been together since high school and we’ve had sex a lot of the times we’ve been together. But i’m not really a sexual person. I don’t think about it sex or like do intimate stuff to myself. Sometimes i’ll watch porn but then I feel really gross when i’m done with it and it’s probably like once if at all a month. I really enjoy kissing my bf but at the same time when he touches me or kisses parts of my body it’s like i become so emotionless towards him. I am attracted to him A LOT. But when i go without sex for awhile i just feel like empty so when it does happen I just feel emotionless. I don’t want to leave him or anything I love him so much. I don’t want to hear that we are young and I should leave him. I just want to understand why my body does this. It’s not even like i’m not aroused by him i just feel deeply uncomfortable when he tries to look at my butt or something. I have always been insecure as well so I think it’s something with that. I don’t think i’m asexual because I do enjoy sex. I don’t know what this feeling is. THIS IS FULL CONSENSUAL . He has never forced himself on me or even tried to initiate if I don’t want it. If I said to stop he would stop.

tl;dr boyfriends attraction towards me makes me uncomfortable.

My partner has a very close female friend. I found out a few months ago that they had slept together in the past. When confronted he said it was one time a long time ago, with nothing else to it.

I recently found out that this wasn’t even the whole truth. It turns out they slept together a couple of times, chatted to go into a relationship and he even lost his virginity to her when he was younger.

I was upset when I had found out the original story, let alone finding out the rest of it that was further hidden. Has anyone been in a similar situation ? He said he didn’t mention any of it to save things being awkward and upsetting me.

I’ve known him for four years, dated back then stopped for a while and now been officially together for over a year while seeing each other casually before hand.

When asked about the time frame it was over various years but he can’t remember at all when.

TLDR my partner hid his sexual history with his close female friend

TLDR: He tells me to leave him alone, blocks me, says he's done — then seems annoyed when I don't reach out, like it proves I don't care. He also says he wants "actions not words" from me but won't say what that actually means.

I’m 27F he’s 32M, after a few months together broke it off with me. We’ve been going back and forth for the last few weeks about who did what wrong, issues we may have (which are unrelated to the relationship and more past experiences) and a lot has been realised. One thing I keep getting stuck on: he'll tell me to leave him alone, block me, say he's done — then a day or two later he's annoyed or hurt that I haven't reached out, like it confirms to him that I don't actually care or wasn't trying. Therefore I keep trying to work on this to prove I do care and do want him.

I feel caught either way. If I reach out after being told to back off, I look like I'm not respecting his space. If I don't, it seems to prove whatever assumption he already had about me (that I don't care, wasn't invested, etc.), even though that's not true.

He's also said a few times that he wants to see "actions, not just words" from me, but when I ask what that actually looks like in practice, I don't get a clear answer. I genuinely don't know what he means by it, or what he'd actually consider proof versus just more talk.

Genuinely asking for a male perspective here. And when a guy says he wants "actions" but won't specify what, is there usually something concrete behind that, or is it more just a vague way of saying he's not convinced by anything at this point?

He says he’s done and no longer interested, too little too late, but over these last few weeks he’s still asked how my day has been and had civil/friendly conversation here and there. In the beginning he was very certain of me, assured me of no one else, mentioned living together. And now it’s just me that wants to make this work, learn and grow from this together.

2 of my friends who are also friends with each other decided to stop talking to me and when i asked why they said that I am a larper and that I always wanna show off my hobbies.

This was very confusing to hear since I honestly don't bring up my hobbies too much unless I made something I think is cool so i tell them about it.

Idk if they are maybe jealous because they don't have real hobbies and they sit around playing fortnite and rocket league the whole day (which btw i dont really care, i honestly do play games all day sometimes). But honestly i decided that if they will stop talking to me for some stupid reason like that then i would also stop talking to them. Also i wanna add that we have known each other for more than 5 years.

do you think I'm being silly or is the whole situation just immature, because I honestly feel like its the latter.

TL;DR - my [17M] friends are not talking to me because they think I am showing off my hobbies.

i’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 months and we live together. he has a cat and i find myself getting jealous when he gives the cat more attention than me. i find myself getting jealous when he gives his friends more attention than me. i know it’s entirely my problem and not his. i know rationally i should not be jealous over his cat or his friends. but knowing that doesn’t make the jealous feeling go away. i can tell myself over and over that i should not feel jealous or upset but that doesn’t make the feelings or thoughts stop. i feel really bad because i am kind of a jerk to him about it sometimes. i am in therapy but it doesn’t seem to help so far. i don’t know what to do. this is also my first relationship and i had no idea i would be like this or i wouldn’t have gotten into a relationship.

tl;dr i have jealousy issues and don’t know how to make them go away even though i am self aware about it.

I've started noticing this behavior in my (32F) boyfriend (39M) where it feels like he views our relationship like a contest that he has to be winning.

He's been having a hard time at the moment because he lost his job and is having trouble finding a new one. Because of that, I've been trying to pick up more things around the house. I do more of the chores, pay for things more often and when he's had a stressful day/week, I've been trying to do something nice for him like make a favorite meal.

His reaction to these things has been somewhere between neutral and super negative.

The worst of this was this week where he went out to see friends and was in a really good mood when he got back because he'd made some plans for the weekend. I asked him about that a bit more, we were being playful with each other and then his mood sort of snapped, he called me a b---- and said I was treating him like a child. When I asked where that came from, he said it was the tone I was speaking to him in, when I was being enthusiastic about what he was talking about.

He apologised in the morning and I set a clear boundary, but it's sort of opened my eyes to a bunch of other behaviour where he treats almost every aspect of our relationship like a competition.

If I do something nice for him, he doesn't take it as a sign of me caring for him or voice any appreciation, he views it as a debt that I've tallied up.

He thinks me asking to spend time together is a demand on his attention, and talks about it like I'm taking something from him.

He doesn't like me initiating sex, he has said that it feels like me trying to take control/try and force an emotional response from him, so if I initiate, he'll just shut me down.

If I bring up something that's a genuine issue, I'm attacking him, and when we do have conflict about something, if I say "when you do x, it makes me feel y", he usually responds with "well you do that too". It takes us ages to get to actually talking about solutions.

If I talk about stuff I care about and am interested in, he complains about me being "too interesting to want to date him" and thinks I'm trying to say he's boring. He's once told me that I'm "too good to him" and it makes him feel inferior.

Honestly, it's just exhausting.

We're stuck in a loop at the moment, where he keeps starting conversations that feel like judgement/criticism (i.e. "I'm surprised you don't care about xyz more", "why would anyone do xyz like that?") and then gets annoyed/surprised when those turn into disagreements. It feels like we can't go a week without one of those blowing up into something big.

He'll say he didn't intend for the conversation to be combative, will often ask me why I keep turning things into arguments, and put the blame for that solely on me being emotionally dysregulated.

Honestly, that has become a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy as well, because it's hard to be around him right now without feeling really on edge and that means I am much less resilient to whatever criticism is coming next.

From his view, I'm too sensitive, too emotional, too closed off and take everything to heart/too seriously and I think there's probably some truth in that. I do struggle to trust that he has good intentions/that he cares about me, but that's really hard when absolutely every topic seems like him trying to win a fight.

Under this bunch of defensive, hurt responses, he can be a really caring, intelligent person who I love spending time with, but right now it feels like I'm just being lashed out at repeatedly.

Has anyone else had this experience, and did you find a way to break out of it?

Tldr - boyfriend treats our relationship like a contest and it's exhausting us both

I’ve been debating whether to post this because even talking about it gives me a pit in my stomach, but I really need advice.
I(17F) have struggled with retroactive jealousy because my ex, who I dated during some really important developmental years, cheated on me multiple times. Ever since then, I get this same feeling of anxiety whenever I look through someone’s following, phone, etc. I know a lot of it comes from what happened in that relationship, but my current relationship has made it much worse.
My boyfriend (18M) and I got very close very quickly. When we first met, he was still heartbroken over his ex and would vent to me about her. We started dating less than two weeks after he was still crying over their breakup, so for the first couple of months I constantly wondered if I was just a rebound.
Then, in our second month of dating, I found out he was still following his ex on a certain social media and occasionally texting her. He said he genuinely didn’t think it was a big deal and that was why he never mentioned it. I was really hurt, but he removed and blocked her as soon as I told him how I felt, and eventually I moved past it.
About 10 months into our relationship, I was going through his phone while we were hanging out with my sister. He has always been completely comfortable handing me his phone, so I wasn’t even looking for anything serious. Eventually, I found his hidden album, which contained photos and videos of him and his ex from when they were together. Most of those didn’t bother me because they were old, but there were also two things from when we had already been dating for six months: screenshots of her TikTok story and a lip-sync video she had made in his room.
That completely broke me. He says he had forgotten about the album and doesn’t know why he saved those things, especially because he wasn’t trying to get back with her or still in love with her. He basically told me that he had only hid them while their breakup was still fresh and he was still getting over her, so if he wanted to look at pictures of them together, he’d have to think twice about it. He deleted everything and swears he would never do something like that again. I do believe that he loves me and that he genuinely regrets it, but I still can’t get over how much it hurt.
For about a week I cried every day and compared myself to her. She’s blonde, pale, and very different from me, and I started feeling like she was just prettier than I am. Now whenever I see blonde girls on my feed, I immediately start wondering whether he would find them more attractive than me.
I also used to be completely fine with his female friends, but since this happened, seeing him text them can make my stomach drop. I constantly overthink what he could be doing or thinking, even though he hasn’t given me another reason not to trust him.
It’s been over a month and I’m still struggling with this. I don’t want to break up with him because he genuinely is a great boyfriend and I don’t believe he wants anyone else. I know some people might tell me I’m stupid for staying, but there’s a lot more context to our relationship than I can fit into one post, and I’m not looking for judgment.

TL;DR: My ex cheated on me repeatedly, so I already struggle with jealousy and fear of being betrayed. My current boyfriend was still heartbroken over his ex when we met, and early in our relationship I found out he was still occasionally texting her. He blocked her and I eventually moved past it. Months later, I found screenshots/videos of his ex in his hidden album, including two things he had saved while we were already dating for 6 months. He says he had forgotten about them and doesn’t know why he saved them, and he deleted everything. I believe he loves me and doesn’t want her, but since finding them I constantly compare myself to her, especially because she looks very different from me, and I get anxious whenever he talks to other girls. It’s been over a month and I still can’t seem to let it go. How can I rebuild my trust and stop the constant overthinking?

(20F) Lately I’ve been wondering how much couples should emotionally depend on each other. If one person is going through something difficult and needs their partner, but the partner is genuinely busy, should they still make themselves available?

Where’s the line between being understanding of someone’s responsibilities and feeling neglected? Is it healthy to rely heavily on your partner for emotional support, or should both people maintain some emotional independence?

What does a healthy balance actually look like? How much should you expect your partner to be there for you when you're struggling, while still respecting that they have their own responsibilities?

TL;DR: How much emotional support should couples expect from each other? If your partner is busy while you're struggling, should you expect them to be available, or respect their responsibilities? Where’s the line between healthy emotional dependence and codependence?

My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year and a half. Everything is pretty good, for the most part, just your typical relationship. No major fighting or cheating or anything negative. However our sex drives are immensely different. And I have brought it up over a dozen times, so it’s not a new complaint or something I haven’t communicated, and been thorough about. I’m not asking him to meet me where I’m at exactly but just telling him that my needs aren’t being met, and that to me, is a very important part of a romantic relationship. He has reasons for it on his end, which seem like excuses to me, I even had him go to the doctor, who said he was perfectly fine and no issues. So obviously it just is who he is. But because of the lack of intimacy for almost a year now, and my feelings seeming neglected I have lost attraction, in almost every way. Anyone that’s ever experienced this, can you vouch and tell me if it’s possible to come back from this, or if it’s just one of those things that will never seem to work? I’m not one to give up so easily with hard times but this is different to deal with than the typical fighting etc I am used to. I’m not sure how to handle this. Thank you in advance for any feedback!!

TL;DR ….
- After a year and a half of dating, I lost attraction to my boyfriend because of the lack of intimacy and sex.

I have a confession to make.
I (21F) was in a relationship with my boyfriend (23M) for eleven months, and I ended it on August 5. In mid-July, I met this friend group, and they weren’t a great bunch of people. They were my biggest mistake and, honestly, one of my biggest regrets.
Before I met them, I was already unhappy in my relationship. My boyfriend would hide me from his wallpaper. He would change it when I wasn’t around him. He wouldn’t post me, even when he knew it would make me happy.
He also did a lot of things that made me lose trust in him. I wasn’t happy. He would shout at me and make me feel crazy, stupid, or dumb, and he wouldn’t take me seriously.
But I loved him, and our connection is real.
And then I met this friend group. They were such a bad influence, and I hate who I became around them. If I could go back to that month and change things, I would.
The only thing they did that was, I guess, good was pushing me to break up with my boyfriend, because I really was unhappy. That’s true. But because they were also such a bad influence, I constantly question everything. They didn’t make anything easier.
They shipped me with this other guy who I didn’t actually like. It was more of an infatuation, and it eventually led to me crossing boundaries that I never should have crossed.
I’ve since cut contact with all of them.
They are my biggest mistake. My biggest regret.
I feel horrible and guilty and paranoid every day. I pray for forgiveness for what I did, and I’m so scared because I love him.
And I want, one day, for us to be able to work on things again. It’s either him or nobody. I’ll be happy being single if that’s what happens.
But I’m scared that if I’m with him again, I won’t be able to forget what I did. I’m scared that if he ever finds out, he would invalidate the reasons I originally broke up with him.
Because the truth is, something did need to change. I really was unhappy, and there were real problems in our relationship. But I also crossed a boundary. I crossed the line, and I regret it deeply. I pray for forgiveness.
And every day, I live with this paranoia and guilt.
I want to be able to miss him without feeling horrible. I want to be angry at him for the things he did to me, because I know those things hurt me. But instead, I just feel guilty.
I’m so guilty.
I’ve cut contact with all of them. I hate what that whole situation did to me. They influenced me and encouraged me to do something that I never would have thought I was capable of doing.
It was so out of character for me.
They don’t know what they did to me. They don’t know how much I’ve been carrying since then.
And I hate that I let myself become someone I didn’t recognize.

TL;DR: I ended my 11 month relationship with my ex because I was unhappy, but, I crossed boundaries with someone else due to being heavily influenced by a group of people. I regret it deeply, cut contact with them, and still love my him.

We’re both originally from India, and we’ve been together about two years, living together for a whole year in Canada. Last year his grandfather passed away, and he recently moved back to India to spend time with his grandmother while she’s still around, since he missed that time with his grandfather.

The issue is, he left with no return date. When I asked for clarity, he asked me to try long distance for two months, then tell him if I still feel alone in it, and he says he’ll come back if I say that. But I’ve already told him my answer is ready now, it’s not going to change in two months. He says he doesn’t want to think about an end date right now because he doesn’t want to spend his time with his grandmother with that hanging over him.

I’ve told him clearly, I need a real yes or no, not a maybe, and not “I don’t know yet.” I don’t have an issue with any honest answer, coming back, or telling me he’s choosing to stay. What I can’t accept is being left without any answer at all.

He says he understands my pain but needs time before committing either way. I also can’t move to India myself right now, for career and safety and quality of life reasons that matter a lot to me.
What do I actually do here? Do I wait, do I set a deadline, do I end things now? I don’t know what the right move is.

TL;DR: Boyfriend moved back to India indefinitely to spend time with his aging grandmother, no return date. He wants a two month long distance trial, but I already know my answer won’t change, and I’ve asked for a firm yes or no, not “I don’t know.” What should I actually do here?

Hi there. I really don't usually ask strangers for advice, but this time I think it's really important. Please forgive my grammar because I don't usually write posts. I am using made-up names for privacy. Please bear with me. Assume everyone mentioned is around 18–19.

The thing is, I am actually a student at a university, let's name it Y. There is one best friend (or someone whom I thought was my best friend), let's call him A. A was actually very nice to me in the beginning, and even till now, he's kind of calm, helpful, and nice. But I just don't know what to do with him. You'll know why later.

A was my batchmate, so we got really close to each other. He often kind of insults me in a fun way, which I take in a fun way on the outside, but deep down I sometimes feel bad because it feels like he is joking about some of my insecurities, and I just laugh it off.

Later, one random day, an Instagram account—let's call the person G—texted me, seemingly belonging to someone from our batch. G said they had a crush on me and liked me. I knew it could be some sort of catfish or prank, but I kept chatting and it went on for approximately a week.

Later, when I thought about meeting them somewhere, I got to know that the account had actually been created and operated by A, using the identity/name of a random person from our batch.

I'd never thought he'd play with my feelings that way because I literally trusted him so much.

A was kind of better than me in studies, and I will agree to that. I wouldn't formally say we had a rivalry, but there was definitely some friendly competition. He always toys with me like I am just a child meant to be messed with or annoyed. Like once, he borrowed money and refused to return it until I got really angry.

Now, later one year passed. We got back to being good friends, with nice trust and everything, as if nothing happened. I found another nice friend from our batch too—let's name him B for now. A, B, and I got along really well.

Now recently, they tried to play with me again by making another fake account. This time it seemed genuine, with a few followers, so it could probably seem genuine to anyone. The conversation was purely professional. The account was actually part of a plan by both A & B to mess with me.

This time I really didn't get involved much, but one thing is for sure: their plan didn't work this time because I was already cautious and kept things strictly professional.

One more thing is that I usually don't talk much. That doesn't mean I literally don't want to talk. I try to. But sometimes people talk to me like someone who isn't interested in talking to me—dry replies, maybe sometimes talking with me only because they need something, etc.

I live in a dorm with these people. They play games at night, and I genuinely hate gaming. I don't want to force myself into another hobby just to socialize with them.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm around people, but I'm not really part of anything. And I think that's why these fake accounts hurt more than they probably realize.

It feels like they are indirectly attacking an insecurity I already have: the feeling that maybe nobody genuinely wants to talk to me, and that if someone suddenly shows interest in me, it has to be a joke or a prank.

I'm genuinely angry right now. Part of me has thought about revenge. Because we all have technical backgrounds, I know there are ways I could retaliate that would go far beyond a harmless prank and genuinely cause problems for them.

The thought sometimes feels satisfying because I want them to understand what it feels like when someone deliberately messes with something you care about.

But I also know that would be taking things way too far.

I don't want one moment of anger to make me do something stupid or become someone who deliberately causes serious damage just because I was hurt. That's actually one of the reasons I'm writing this here instead of immediately acting on my anger.

The confusing part is that A isn't entirely a bad friend.

He's helped me several times. He can genuinely be nice. B can also be a good friend. We have good memories together.

That's what makes this so confusing for me.

If they were completely terrible people, walking away would be easy. But they're not. At the same time, I don't know if I've been tolerating things that genuinely hurt me simply because I'm scared of losing friendships.

Am I overreacting?

Are these actually harmless pranks that I'm taking too personally, or is it reasonable for me to feel hurt by them?

What would you honestly do if you were in my position right now?

Would you confront them? Distance yourself? Forgive them but set clear boundaries? Or simply accept that this is how they are?

I genuinely want honest opinions. Even if you think I'm the one in the wrong, please tell me honestly.

I think I just need someone outside this entire situation to help me see it clearly.

TL;DR: One of my closest friends created a fake account and pretended to be someone who was romantically interested in me. A year later, after rebuilding our friendship and trust, he and another friend created another fake account to prank me again. These pranks hurt because they touch on an insecurity I already have—that maybe people don't genuinely want to talk to me and that any unexpected interest in me must be a joke. I'm angry and considering distancing myself, but both of them have also been genuinely good friends to me at times. Am I overreacting, and what would you do in my position?

I’ve been with my (26F) boyfriend (32M) for about 7 months. He makes me so so happy and I really love him.

He had a falling out with his female best friend before he moved to my town about a year ago. They were best friends in law school, moved to the same city and started hooking up after. She caught romantic feelings, he didn’t, it caused the end of their friendship from what I understand. She is now about to get married to a woman.

My bf found out she was getting married through a mutual friend. He’s talked to me about being worried for her because this happened so suddenly. Friday night I made us dinner and he asked me if I thought he should text her congrats about getting married. Considering they used to fuck, she had feelings for him, and cut him off because of that, I told him no.

A couple days later I sat him down and told him if he needs advice for stuff like that, I can’t be a neutral third party. I told him that to me, he was saying “Should I text this girl I used to fuck that also had feelings for me at one point in time?”. I told him that I understood she was a friend before anything happened between them, but I can’t give input from any other perspective than that of his current girlfriend. I said I don’t ever think about people i’ve been with because I’ve been so happy with him. He apologized for putting me in that position and said he knew when he said it that he shouldn’t have. We talked it out, he told me how happy it was with me and that I’m the best gf he’s had by far. I told him he was the best bf I’ve had by far.

It was fine, until I realized today he has photos of them (technically group photos) on his fridge. I know I was being so irrational but after seeing her in the group pics on his fridge I just got pissed. I know i’m being insecure but still. I ended up getting really upset and talking to him and telling him he doesn’t think about stuff like that when he should because we’re in a relationship now. I think my exact words were, “I don’t ever think you have malicious intentions, I think you just don’t think about stuff like this”. I also told him I hope he understands why I’m feeling insecure considering this was not our first convo about how often he brings up women from his past (the other convo being about his long term ex I knew too much about). I told him I’m not angry he has a past and I don’t expect him to forget these memories or people, but to please be mindful about what he processes with me because i’m not the one who needs to hear about his ex fwb. Now I’m in my head because I feel crazy and like I’ve ruined everything with my insecurities.

I told him I’m not asking him to take the photos down and that I don’t want to be that type of gf. Mainly, I feel bad because I told him I took down a pic of me and my ex-boyfriend (he passed after we broke up) that I was gifted when we started dating because I felt it was time to put it away now that someone else was in my life.

I apologized later and told him I was sorry for what I said when I was insecure and frustrated. He told me I didn’t say anything that I needed to apologize for and that we were all good. We both told each other we really hadn’t felt this way about someone before and both expressed we shared fears over messing things up.

I feel insane and insecure and like i’ve ruined everything. I texted him this morning and just said “I said some things this weekend that were unfair to you and I’m sorry. I hope you have a great run this morning<3 love you”. I didn’t wanna dig the whole thing back up but needed to get that off my chest, because it was unfair of me to say some of those things. I shouldn’t have said I don’t think about tother people I’ve been with because I’m so happy with him, that I hop ehe understands why I’m being insecure because women from his past keep coming up, or that I took down photos of me and my ex. I am truly not angry at him for having a past, I have one, everyone I've ever dated has had one.

How do you guys handle bouncing back from a disagreement with your bf/gf? I feel like a horrible person. It wasn’t even a fight, but me crying about being insecure. I’ve struggled with self-esteem recently and went back to therapy. I ended up crying and told him I hated feeling this insecure and it made me feel not like myself at all. He said we're good and I trust him on that, just really upset with myself. IDK why I got so triggered and upset over a stupid photo.

tl;dr- bf was bringing up his ex-fwb. I got insecure when I saw a group photo including her on his fridge. I snapped and we made up, but I feel horrible about it.

I’m 20 male. My girlfriend(19F) and I have been together for just over 3 months now and we tried having sex together for the first time yesterday but I couldn’t get anymore than the tip of my penis inside her. She is a virgin, I’m not but have only had sex twice and both women weren’t virgins so I’m not exactly experienced with it.

We did around 30-40 minutes of foreplay, she was very wet. I used fingers during foreplay which my girlfriend said was nice and wasn’t uncomfortable/painful at all. It took a good 10-15 minutes of trying before I could even get my tip in but after it went in, that was it and I couldn’t go any deeper.

Is it me doing something wrong? Or is this just a pretty common thing for women on their first time? Any advice/tip please? All suggestions appreciated.

TL:DR; my girlfriend and I tried having sex but I wasn’t able to put more than the tip in. Advice?

So my (M20) ex texted me last night. It was a ldr we were on and off for about a year and a half. Obviously things ended and I haven’t talked to her since last year August. Until I saw I text where she said she knows it’s random but she hopes I’m so happy. I appreciated that after everything we’ve been through but I know that’s the past and I’m more than okay with it as I have a wonderful girlfriend now. Nostalgia hit me and I updated her that I had a girlfriend (F20) and that life was okay, she proceeded to say she has a man she wants to marry in the future. Here’s where I believe sympathy for me may dissipate. Few days ago me and my girl gave boundaries to eachother that there should be no contact with exes and I agreed. Solely cause I never thought I’d be in contact with that ex ever again and she was my only ex so I didn’t feel like there needed to be much discourse around it.

I know I kept the conversation with me and my ex as surface level as I can be because I wanted to respect my relationship but also to be true to myself, but it has come to the cost of my girlfriend not feeling secure.

Is it a horrible thing that I did respond? AITAH for being open to a cordial update with someone from my past?

Tldr
Responded to my exes text after setting boundaries with current girlfriend

- I told my girlfriend as soon as I responded
We have been dating for 8 months

**TL;DR;** : this is the sample summary. am i going the right way?

im '17 M' , my father '43 M' found out my mother '40 F' married for over 20 years, has been texting someone from 10 years kind of like an extra martial affair. my father is insanely angry(he has temper problems from the start) and has not been talking to her properly and they are acting to be normal just for me. yesterday while i wasnt home he was angry he caused chaos in home and broke multiple things and stormed off outside saying 'my home is being broken i wont see his home flourishing'. my parents both went to the guys home and idk what happened there. i want all of this either to go back to how it was by forgiving but not all this play and pretend. i have thought of forcing both of them to go on a vacation and sort things out and tell them not to come back until they sort it out. i have thought of convincing by threatening harm to myself but im not sure how all this will work out. is it okay to send them away like this?

I (32/F) met a guy (30/M) through tinder about a month ago. We talk every day, have gone on four dates and I've already slept over at his place.

I was completely closed off to relationships for about six years, so I'm kind of unsure how to navigate dating and whether I'm simply overthinking things.

All of our dates so far have been during the week. Over the weekends, our communication becomes less frequent (although it's still there), and he seems to prioritize spending time with his friends.

I also think it's relevant to mention that we're from different countries, I'm Brazilian and he's Spanish. This makes me even more confused because I'm not sure if some of the things I'm interpreting as mixed signals could simply be cultural differences in the way we date, socialize and communicate, or if he's just not that interested in building something with me.

Is it too early to ask him what his intentions are or what he's looking for? I'm not asking for exclusivity or a relationship right now, I would just like to understand where his head is at so I can manage my own expectations and put my mind at ease.

Would you ask at this point, or would you wait a little longer?

**TL;DR; : 
Dating for a month but confused with the mixed signals. Is it too early to ask for clarity or should I just go for it?
**.

(19M(18F)

TL;DR:So basically she has been doing this for 1 years already. It is getting worse and worse. IT NIKI FROM ENHYPEN

It’s been two years, and throughout all this time, she has genuinely been a very good person to me. There are a lot of things I love and appreciate about her, and honestly, most things in our relationship are good. But there is one thing that has been bothering me for quite a while now, and that is her celebrity crush.

I’m not trying to control who she likes or force her to stop being a fan of him. I understand that having a celebrity crush is normal, and I don’t expect her to completely remove him from her life or stop enjoying his content. What bothers me is how obsessed she seems to be with him and how far it sometimes goes. I’ve already told her multiple times that it makes me uncomfortable and that it affects how I feel, but even after knowing how I feel, she continues doing the same things.

She keeps reposting things about her celebrity crush, and sometimes it feels like she is constantly showing how much she likes him. The part that hurts me more is that after I talk to her about it, she doesn’t really seem to take my feelings seriously. Instead, she sometimes starts using her second account more, almost like she thinks I won’t check it. I eventually find out anyway, and that makes me feel even worse because it gives me the feeling that she knows what she is doing bothers me but chooses to hide it instead of actually talking about it with me.

I’m not asking for her to stop liking him. I’m not asking her to delete every repost or pretend she doesn’t have a crush on him. I just want some boundaries and consideration. I want her to understand that there is a difference between simply liking a celebrity and being so obsessed with them that it starts affecting your relationship with someone else.

Another thing that has been bothering me is that she doesn’t text me as much anymore. I know people can get busy and that texting less doesn’t automatically mean someone doesn’t care, but when it happens together with everything else, it makes me feel like I’m becoming less important to her. Sometimes I feel like I’m putting more effort into the relationship than she is.

I still care about her a lot, which is why this bothers me so much. If I didn’t care, I probably wouldn’t even be upset about it. I just want her to listen to my feelings and understand where I’m coming from instead of thinking I’m trying to control her. I want us to be able to talk about things like this without one person feeling ignored or dismissed.

After two years together, I don’t want something like this to become a reason for us to drift apart. I just want mutual respect, communication, and understanding. I’m not asking for perfection. I just want her to care about how her actions affect me the same way I try to care about how my actions affect her.

What should I do?

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**TL;DR;** : This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, just copy the text in gray box. Is this going the right way?

I’m not sure if this is the right place to post this but I’ll soon find out. How many people have found themselves single and heading towards 40 and wondering will I ever meet someone new, will I ever have the chance to fall in love again. These are all questions that I ponder since my wife and partner of almost 2 decades walked out on me and took my family with her. I’m not perfect and I’m working really hard to address my shortcomings and fix myself so that I can get to a place of peace where I go to bed and wake up where I don’t feel guilty or anxious about what I’ve lost, but a reality in which I feel like I can be more positive about the future. I don’t class myself as an unattractive person I have a lot to offer the right person, I’m highly caring and empathetic but I can also get lost in my anxiety and depression that I can become selfish without realising it.

I just hope that one day I get a second chance at love, at life and I can share myself with someone again, I miss the interactions after work and sharing a meal with my ex wife and kids life is empty right now but I know if I keep going it won’t always be this way, I’m a good person but I’ve suffered a lot in life, lots of
Heavy losses and deaths which have made me ponder getting older and how fast my kids are growing it makes me feel almost stupid to not have appreciated them, their mother and life more.

Again sorry if this is on the wrong subreddit I just wondered if anyone else felt like
Me.

TL;DR: My boyfriend's ex warned me about his past abusive behavior and dishonesty when we first started dating. We've been together for a year now, and he's been kind to me, but I can't stop worrying about whether his past behavior will eventually resurface. I'm considering reaching out to his ex for more perspective, but I don't know if that's a good idea.

I (22F) have been dating my boyfriend (27M) for about a year now.

The beginning of our relationship was pretty rocky. Our first date didn't end well due to some external circumstances involving his previous partner. Shortly afterward, she reached out to me directly and told me multiple things that caught me completely off guard.

She told me that my boyfriend had lied to me about a few important things, including his age, job, and the nature of their relationship. She also warned me about what she described as abusive behavior toward her during the time they were involved, which I do believe. According to her, he had admitted not only to treating her poorly but also to having behaved that way in previous relationships.

At the time, I really liked him. We had several difficult conversations about everything she told me. He acknowledged a lot of it, and after thinking it through, I decided to continue seeing him. Eventually we entered a committed relationship.

For context, my boyfriend and this woman had been involved for almost a year. From what I understand, her leaving him had a very significant impact on him emotionally. It took him months to recover, and seeing her again at a later point was part of what helped him move on.

The issue is that while he's been very kind to me throughout our relationship, I can't shake the anxiety that his past behavior could eventually resurface. Part of me worries that people don't completely change, especially when there seems to be a pattern across multiple relationships. Another part of me wonders if I'm unfairly holding his past against him when he hasn't treated me that way.

I also have a fear that I can't really talk about with anyone in my life. Because he knows that I was made aware of his past behavior before we got together and chose to stay anyway, I sometimes worry about what that means for me if problems ever do arise. I find myself wondering whether someone can genuinely change, or whether it's possible for a person to simply become better at hiding unhealthy behaviors for a period of time, especially when they know exactly what concerns their partner is watching for.

I've thought about reaching out to his ex again. Not to dig up drama, but because she was genuinely concerned for my safety when she first contacted me, and sometimes I wonder if there are things I still don't know or if she could provide perspective on whether she believes he's actually changed.

At the same time, I'm worried that contacting her could be inappropriate, reopen old wounds for her, or create complications that affect more than just the people directly involved. I also don't want to do something that would unnecessarily hurt my boyfriend if he truly has changed.

Has anyone been in a situation where a partner had a history of abusive or unhealthy behavior in past relationships but treated you well? Did those patterns eventually return, or were they actually able to change? And would it be wrong for me to reach out to his ex after all this time?

Any advice would be appreciated.

tldr
got in argument with long distance gf and hasn’t responded in over 24 hours. do i play waiting game or do i try to resolve?

Gf(25F) and I(25M) had a day out 2 days ago and some things didn’t go well. We are mid distance from each other so will only see each other every other weekend, so after that day we’ve only been able to discuss over text. Yesterday morning I said i would drive to her to talk in person and she said “what’s there to even talk about”. A few hours later she completely stopped responding. It’s been over 24 hours since then and i have sent 1 morning text saying im there to talk if she wants. and still nothing.

I’m worried she feels like there’s nothing left to talk about and will just ghost completely. We’ve been together only a few months so it wouldn’t be like she’s walking out of a multi year relationship.

But i don’t know how to handle it. Do i just give her space and not text her at all unless she reaches out? if its been another 24 hours and i dont hear anything do a send another short text saying i want to respect her space but also dont want to leave things in limbo? Never been here before and this is very unlike her based on past experience.

Hi. This might be a reach, im new in dating as i just got out of a long relationship some time ago. Ive been talking to this guy for 2 weeks, like just texting. And today he asked if i was busy this week, i told him no not really and he asked if i wanted to grab a bite one day, i said “yes what day did you have in mind”.
He replied “thursday or friday?” I said friday works best for me (my day off), then he replies “okay lets talk about it when we’re closer to friday. It depends on my work” what does that even mean? Im afraid he is basically saying he cant do friday?

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**TL;DR;**

I (21F) have been dating my boyfriend (21M) for about 6 months now. The way we got together isn’t particularly interesting, but for the sake of continuity, I’ll be referring to my boyfriend as R.

We first met online in a Discord server (yes, I know public sentiment isn’t exactly great on this). It’s a friends-only Discord run by some elementary school classmates, and it’s mostly guys. We’re all still pretty close and often hang out since most of us live within 10 minutes of each other.

It started with me, R, and a few others playing games together, which eventually became a weekly routine. At some point, the group decided to go on a run, and that was the first time I saw R face-to-face. Neither of us remembered each other at all, and it took some help from the others to jog our memories.

Things really took off when I had a get-together with some other friends and had to rush to make dinner for another friend. Said friend ended up not taking the food, so I called R, knowing that he lived closest to me. As it turned out, he was hanging out with one of his military buddies, who happened to live right next to me.

The guy who lives near me is gay, and I had actually first been introduced to him through the game as well. He’s part of a whole side story that I won’t get into now because I don’t want to bore you guys.

At the time, I was also actively using dating apps before I got into a relationship with R, and he found the messages I was getting extremely entertaining.
We’re very different people. I’m a social butterfly who really likes going out and have been in multiple serious relationships before this one. R, on the other hand, is much more introverted and a homebody.

This past week, I’ve been dealing with a lot of pain from my wisdom tooth and have been pretty irritable because of it. Yesterday was the worst of it. My chronic pain also started flaring up, and I ended up vomiting my guts out.

R was very confused about what to do and, honestly, gave pretty shitty comfort. Eventually, I asked him to come over. He stayed by my side and got me whatever I needed.

Thinking about it now, I feel extremely guilty, because just a few weeks ago I was ready to end things.

As someone who has been in several previous relationships, I already have certain expectations and enough experience to know what to do, what to say, and generally what I want from a relationship. The problem is that while I know I’m R’s first relationship, it makes things really difficult when I catch myself making comparisons like, “I’m doing all of this for you, so why can’t you do the same for me?”

And he moves at a snail’s pace. Sometimes it genuinely feels like he’s an NPC.
This is probably the part that bothers me the most: he is VERY slow to take action.

I’m the eldest daughter with basically nonexistent parents, so I’ve had to learn to do things quickly and take care of things myself. At the same time, I can also be extremely indecisive. R doesn’t really help with that because he usually just lets me make all the decisions.

And I find that extremely annoying.
I’m used to the guys I date doing a lot of the mental work, while I give my input and we make the final decision together. In this relationship, I feel like I’m “the man” doing all the planning and constantly having to ask him to notice things about me.

For example, I regularly cook breakfast for him because I know he doesn’t eat in the morning, and he’s been getting gastritis from not eating. He also doesn’t have enough time in the morning, so I do it because I love him. Or I’ll get his favourite drink before we sit down to eat.

But he doesn’t seem to reciprocate the little things I do for him. I always ask for warm water whenever I go over to his place, yet he still doesn’t think to bring it to me without me asking.

And I know that, objectively, these things sound small. But when they happen over and over again, it starts to feel unequal.

At the same time, R has been very kind to me. He buys me flowers every once in a while, and yesterday, when I was in a lot of pain, he stayed by my side and made sure I had whatever I needed.

So I feel guilty even thinking about leaving him over this.

I know he’s inexperienced. I know he cares about me. And I know that some of what I’m expecting may come from being used to relationships with people who already knew how to anticipate their partner’s needs.

But I also don’t want to spend the entire relationship teaching someone how to be my partner.

So what should I do?

TL;DR: My boyfriend is caring but very inexperienced and slow to take initiative. I feel like I’m constantly doing the planning, decision-making, and little acts of consideration in our relationship, and it’s starting to feel unequal. I know he cares about me and this is his first relationship, so I’m struggling to decide whether I should be more patient with him or accept that we may not be compatible.

TLDR: we’ve tried for months
My bf (25M) and I(24F)have been dating for 8 months. He is amazing, we are quite compatible, and have good communication. I love him very much. This is my first relationship ever, and I had my first time with him.

For context, I grew up in a very religious household. I had terrible sex ed growing up both at school and at home. I started masturbating only after I got with him, and started watching porn until I was 20. I wouldn’t say there is any shame associated to sex, I simply did not think about it too much. I also have terrible performance anxiety.

I really like having sex with my bf because I feel like there is a special emotional bond with him. However, the only time I was close to finishing was my first time. He was giving me head, and I could feel I was very close to “peeing myself”

This is not a post complaining about my bf. He has tried multiple things. He is good with oral, we’ve tried vibrators, different sex positions, fingering, etc etc. I am also very attracted to him (obviously, I’m dating him).

I’ve also tried on my own, but haven’t been able to. When I tried with the vibrator, I immediately peed instead just secs into starting to use it.

He said he is a giver, and feels very insecure because I haven’t finished. And said that that made him feel like he is more attracted to me than I am to him. I told him that I am very attracted to him, and that the sexual aspect of a relationship isn’t too important to me. This is true. I feel completely satisfied because when we have sex, I can feel that we love each other. But he thinks that I’m missing out by not having orgasmed.

We tried for 3 months. Until I did it. I faked it. I was just very sad because he tried so hard and I never did. I also think that my performance anxiety made it worse. He believed me.

We started long distance at 4 months, and he planned a visit. The weeks leading up to it, I felt very horny and he did too. When he was here, we did it twice a day for two weeks. At this point, he is not feeling pressured bcs he thinks I’ve already finished. We had a great time together, but I didn’t finish.

I desperately need advice because I don’t understand what is going on. Is there someone that has gone through the same thing? What can I do?

My gf (19F) and I (20F) have been dating for one year now, the longest relationship I have had. I love her so incredibly much and she’s pretty much my whole world. We’re also college and currently live together in a dorm (stupid ik). But I’m at that stage where I’m longing for the new and fun exciting nature of a crush/new relationship, but it doesn’t feel normal, it’s so incredibly intense. I think about it all the time, I’m always looking around at other people and the dreams are the worst. Don’t get me wrong I’ve never cheated or done anything big or small that would be considered cheating, and I would never. But I have dreams all the time where I cheat on her and don’t really care/ am not really thinking about it and I’m just having fun, or I break up with her and get with someone else, or she just doesn’t exist in that world entirely, and sometimes even she does something dumb and hurts me or ends it and I leave and immediately go to someone else. Sometimes I think about if she were to just leave me and then I could go be with someone else. It’s not what I want at all, at least I don’t think I do. She is genuinely my whole world and I can’t imagine my life without her but I’m so lost. Maybe this is completely normal and I’m just dramatic but it feels like so much more. Also, obviously, I’m gay (bi with a huggeeee preference for girls) and sometimes I think about guys a lot too, I’ve had a couple of relationships before her but they’re were all girls too and sometimes I really wish I could just have the experience of being with a guy and I romanticize it a lot in my head. Another big thing relating to that is that I’ve always romanticized and obsessed over the image of marrying a man, idk if it’s some deep rooted heteronormative thing or what but I do have a weird obsession with it. Which does bring me back to my last point of this I felt was important to cover, I often will meet new people or even just see them around a lot, like in classes and such, and obsess over them constantly, like super unhealthily. I just conjure this image in my head and let my imagination run wild, I hate it so much because it feels like a crime against her but I do it anyway. Just like the imagining her messing up and me leaving and going to find something new and fun. Idk I’m just so stuck. Any advice on this stage and if how I’m feeling is normal or maybe means a little more about our relationship?

Summary/TL;DR: I love my gf so much and I don’t necessarily want to break up but I’m feeling stuck and I keep longing for something or someone new.