r/almosthomeless • u/gemnove • 3h ago
Other Situation genuinely terrified as i navigate right now
a little context. i've been doing a volunteer program for the last 6 months. basically you work for room and board. the work is farm work, i don't want to say the name of the organization. long story short, my partner and i started this so we could get out of a tight, complex situation. longer story shorter, we are ready to be done now, and so are the owners of the farm as far as we're concerned. it's just been our place to live for almost half a year. now that we're ready to go though, my past is an asshole, or more like i was one. and so in my active opiate addiction i got an eviction plus an owed balance on my rental history. now i'm scrambling. i know it's bad to have that on your record, most, if all won't accept me as a tenant. my boyfriend does know and is super empathetic and is willing to figure something else out, as he relates in his own way being in recovery himself. but honestly i've run out of ideas. every time i've tried to pick myself back up, i feel a wall appear out of thin air restricting any further progress. therefore leading to my own self sabotage cycle. we do have a willing cosigner, and i have a possible good rental reference i can use. i just really hope everything turns out okay. and that those things will be enough to get me and my boyfriend a safe secure place. one that we can call our own. my intuition is telling me, time is running out. my hope is dying. and i'm so scared of homelessness genuinely. i've had to sleep on a bench before, been homeless in different ways (squatting), but i guess the stereotypical homelessness scares the absolute shit out of me.