r/almosthomeless • u/Amazing_Form_1638 • 2d ago
Running away from home at 19
I'm 19, living with toxic, strict and abusive parents. Some days are just verbal fights but sometimes it turns into physical abuse. I can't live in the same place with PTSD when everyday is the same. I am planning to runaway in less than a year. I don't want to act irresponsible or impulsive because I'm afraid to make a mistake. My plan is to save some money before I leave and move in with my bf of 3 years. My parents didn't allow me to be independent all my life so Im scared to take a big step like this. I really need some suggestions on what to do.
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u/hopingtothrive 2d ago
As a 19 year old adult you can leave your parents' house at any time. Have a job first. Be self-sufficient and don't rely on a boyfriend for support.
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u/Upper_Top9348 2d ago
Just have a backup plan
There are quite a few posts like this
You will wear out your welcome, break up, etc
Then you be in city you don't know that well without any housing
Best case is to be on the lease as well, so if something happens you still have a place to stay and can plan accordingly
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u/No_Practice_970 2d ago
Talk to your school guidance counselor about your exit strategy after graduation. (Maybe a trade certification & internship while in high school, or college you should qualify for a Pell Grant)
If you've already graduated and didn't pre-plan your escape go join the military.
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u/Rarehunter333 2d ago
You need to plan properly.
First off you need to consider the worst case scenario where you might actually end up homeless.
I know you have a bf but it’s not wise to depend on that idea.
If there were ever a scenario where you break up, you’ll be put out, and this does actually happen to some people.
You need to get all your legal government documents and make digital electronic copies of them.
Make sure you have a proper emergency bag ready. Go on YouTube and look up bug out bags to get a good idea on what to pack.
Definitely having some money saved up would be great but having a consistent job to rely on is even better.
Assuming you’re in the US, job corp might be a good idea for you.
Free dormitory living, meals and a training with a job is the best path.
Can’t stress self sufficiency enough.
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u/Rarehunter333 2d ago
Also be sure to really research what it means to be homeless.
You don’t want to end up without any place to stay and not know what to do.
Between facing the harsh weather, starvation, other homeless people harassing you, police harassment, and even civilian harassment, this is not for the faint of heart.
Your stuff could easily get stolen, or you could get stalked if you reveal where you’re sleeping/ camping.
Don’t take the idea of being homeless lightly.
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u/Amazing_Form_1638 2d ago
I'm not in US. My bf and I will move in together in a new apartment. If we ever break up, I have a close friend that lives in the area so I'm not worried about this.
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u/TallyWinkle 2d ago
Here are some resources, hang in there. Good for you for having the courage to leave:
https://www.feedingamerica.org/need-help-find-food
And findhelp.org by Findhelp - Search and Connect to Social Care
Jobs with Housing - CoolWorks.com
Jobs for 16-24, some include free housing: https://www.jobcorps.gov/
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u/Entertainment-33 2d ago
I highly recommend signing up for job corps they will help you get a trade and they’ll even help you get into college if you wanted to and pay you once you complete the program. Sign up now and they should be able to have you in the program within a few weeks to months. Tell them that you’re homeless. You’re an adult so it’s not technically not running away or you can tell them that you’re in an abusive household. That may be able to fast track your entry.
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u/ktwriter111 1d ago
You’re an adult so you’re not “running away”, you’re moving out. You can do this! An adult will give them 30 days notice. If you’re paying them rent at 19 you should give them 30 days notice because that’s what many leases will want.
The best advice I have is to PLAN EVERYTHING. Have stable income and make sure your rent stays no higher than 25% of your gross (before tax) income. Your monthly bills including rent, car pmt, credit card min pmts and any other loans (not utilities, groceries, clothes etc) should stay below 36% of your gross monthly income (before taxes). This is enables room for saving up for emergencies. Be organized and disciplined about it.
The responders above have provided great advice. You can make this one of the best decisions you’ve ever made! Believe in yourself and be excited about a bright future.
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