r/offmychest 18h ago

I have been pretending to understand wine for years and nobody has caught me.

Upvotes

I don’t know what “earthy” means. I don’t know what “notes of tobacco” means. I have never once tasted “dark cherry” in anything that was not literally a cherry.

I just swirl the glass, stare at it like it personally disappointed me, take a sip, and say something like “that’s surprisingly smooth.”

People nod.

Sometimes they agree with me.

This has gone too far.

Last month someone asked me what I thought of a bottle and I said, “It has a really confident finish.”

A CONFIDENT FINISH.

That means nothing.

They said, “Exactly.”

I am now living in fear that one day an actual wine person is going to ask me a follow-up question and my entire decade-long fraud will collapse in front of everyone.


r/offmychest 11h ago

CalFresh approved me for $23/month. I am unemployed. Fuck the system NSFW

Upvotes

I am 42 and this is only the 2nd time in my life that I've utilized government assistance. Both times were temporary.

I got laid off from my job this past June. Thank goodness I have a little bit of a nest egg to fall on for at least a year. I also don't have any kids. Anyway, I do the shit you're supposed to do as soon as you lose your job—file for unemployment, enroll in Medi-cal, and apply for fucking food stamps because an 8oz. jar of cream cheese in Long Beach CA is $6.49 at the local Ralph's. 😒 I am also a full time student taking 13 units. I've worked hard all my life and with that, paid into a system that perpetuates the illusion that it will care for its people when they fall on hard times.

Anyway, I just got my approval letter from CalFresh, and they are "awarding" me a whopping $23 a month. That's only 3.54 8oz jars of cream cheese in this economy. It's insulting. I'm not trying to cheat the system nor do I even want to be on government assistance. This shit makes me so fucking angry and does nothing but make me want to grind even harder to finish my degree and ultimately go into business for myself. I want to stack even more money by investing and marketing myself, skills, and talents. I also want to help those around me that want to also help themselves. This shit is for the birds. Time to jump out of my comfort zone a bit more. Be well, folks.

Edit: I understand cream cheese is a luxury, hence why I didn't buy it. I didn't save money over the years by having fucked up priorities. I grew up poor, so it taught me to be frugal. The cream cheese was just an example of how ridiculously priced everything is.


r/offmychest 7h ago

They re-added me to the family chat. Little did they know I’m able to see the chat history.

Upvotes

I don’t even know what to say. We had a huge family dispute back in April, I left the chat and cut some family members off for the sake of my sanity and mental health. I was just added back to the family chat giving that they all apologized for what they said and how they treated me. I scrolled up and realized I was able to see the chat history. Everyone was talking about me like I was some piece of shit. I the lies spewing on how I steal and bully my parents. It’s unreal how little my own family actually knows me. I’m the only one who cares for my mother and father, I’m the only one who cooked and did their laundry, mowed the grass, cleaned their vehicles, even cleaned the house top to bottom. I really don’t know how to feel right now, I don’t know whether I should go along with it and pretend we’re this big happy family or just stick to being the lone wolf aka black sheep. I now understand why my two brothers who were always there for me through thick and thin were upset and what they were saying. I understand now why they didn’t want to tell me. I apologize, just don’t have anyone to really vent to. I felt like I needed to let that out.


r/offmychest 16h ago

i hate porn NSFW

Upvotes

go be with your blonde princesses and leave me the fuck alone

you daydream about it being her dont you? both of them i bet, because you decided to date a woman you weren't attracted to and now you're making us both miserable

i don't understand why you wont try and shoot your shot, oh wait it's because you know she would reject you like she did alllll those years ago

so instead you try and find the teeniest tiniest blondes because if you can't have her in reality, you'll atleast have her in your head

im not blonde, not porcelain, not a model, not an entrepreneur

im poor, fat, ugly, and dark

she not only looks down on me in terms of leagues, but she will forever be looking down on me from the fucking stars

and you will forever be looking up in awe

gooners are a curse upon the earth


r/offmychest 19h ago

I spilled my guts to my parents and they laughed at me behind my back

Upvotes

Throwaway account because I just really need to put this somewhere since I don't have anyone I can talk to about this. I love my friends, but they aren't really good at comforting people. I don't blame them because I'm the same way.

Yesterday, after dinner, my parents asked me to open up to them. They'd noticed something off about me for a while now and they wanted to know what was bothering me.

I was terrified of the possibility that they would just laugh at me and think I was being overdramatic (like they had so many times before), but I knew I'd never get another opportunity like this again because I was too afraid to talk to them myself. So, I spilled years of resentment I'd been keeping inside.

For once, they were actually listening to me. They were letting me explain myself and taking it seriously. They even APOLOGIZED for unintentionally hurting me! I was honestly so happy that it didn't go how I expected.

While I was in the middle of talking, I went to my room to grab my phone in order to help them understand my issues with my social anxiety. Just as I was about to go out, I heard my dad laugh.

That laugh instantly crushed me because I knew he was laughing at my "social anxiety". He's told me before that he thought introverts weren't real.

The worst part is that my when my mom told him to stop, her tone made it easy to tell that she, to some extent, felt the same way he did.

I wanted to confront them for it, but I just decided to give up and pretend like I didn't hear them. I gave them my trust (again) by opening up to them (AGAIN) and they laughed at me behind my back like I feared they would.

I'm never going to tell them anything about how I feel ever again. Even if it ends up killing me, I don't care. Anything is better than this.


r/offmychest 17h ago

People praise my child's light-colored skin, and it makes my wife feel like shit

Upvotes

My wife (F32) and I (M32) have a beautiful 8-month-old baby girl. She looks exactly like my sister (F20) did when she was a baby.

In my culture, my sister is regarded as conventionally attractive due to her light skin, light colored eyes, and other features. My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world to me, but to society, she is looked down upon for having darker skin and more prominent features.

When relatives see my baby girl, they comment on how lucky she is to look like my sister, including my parents and siblings. I always shut this down, but people still make comments. Even my wife's family comments on how blessed we are to have a fair child.

My wife's family encouraged her to use bleaching creams on herself as a teenager and has always made her feel bad for her skin color. She still loves them, but my relationship with them is more complicated.

My wife has started to use bleaching creams and is thinking of getting treatments done to lighten her skin.

I feel horrible, and don't want her to make this decision because of stupid comments, but she doesn't want to cut anyone off and wants to just grin and bear through these comments.


r/offmychest 5h ago

My stepmom died this morning. I don't know how I feel yet.

Upvotes

My (42m) stepmom (72f) passed in her sleep last night. She's been with my father since I was 5.

4 years ago, when my father and stepmom retired, they were facing financial hardship. My wife and I were looking to buy our first home around that time, so we cooked up the idea to find a place with an in-laws quarters to accommodate them. We moved in together July of '22.

My stepmom was a pretty awful person. She was egotistical, carried petty grudges, went out of her way to be mean. She was also awesome. A radical activist in the '70s, a flight attendant who traveled the world, a fling to Tom Petty and Emerson Fittapaldi and Jackson Brown. She lived a huge life loudly.

She also was my dad's mistress, and broke up my parents' marriage. The divorce took 2 years and was a bitter, tumultuous part of my childhood. The custody battle lasted 6 years. My dad was a drunk who didn't want to be wrong.

My dad is the greatest guy in the world now. He's learned and grown so much since I was a kid, and we have a terrific relationship. And he's fucking devastated today. She was the love of his life.

I've known this woman for 37 years, and I'm rocked by her passing, but I'm more worried about my dad than anything else. I don't feel sadness or grief at her passing. Just fear for what it means for my dad.

I don't know where we go from here, but I needed to vent this. Thanks for reading, redditor.


r/offmychest 23h ago

My “fwb” ended things and I don’t know how to cope

Upvotes

I (F30) had a hook up roughly two months ago or so with a stranger (M26). We were meant to meet again but his mom got into hospital and cancelled last minute when I was 5 mins away. He said he’d reach out when things got back to normal. He did. We hooked up again. Then I reached out 3 more times. Once he was working late. Once he was busy. The third time he texted me that his dad just passed and he doesn’t want to do this anymore. I completely understand and I wish I could make it better for him, but we are two strangers..
I told this guy he was the best shag I had between hook up 1 and 2. I wanted to get another night.. I think I wanted to stroke his ego enough for him to agree to one. But it’s not true. I slept with several guys and some of them been better. The truth is.. I’m not at a good place and I’m really struggling and I’ve been using sex to cope. To have just a few hours of silence in my head. I had issues with drinking so I didn’t want to risk my sobriety and I had a close call with drugs. Sex seemed like a better option.
The truth is, this guy would fell asleep between round one and round two for 15 mins. He would startle awake every few mins for a few seconds and pull me closer, tighten his arms around me, stroke my back or kiss my head and then fall back asleep. I know he didn’t mean it. I know he doesn’t even know he’s been doing this. But during this few minutes.. it felt like maybe everything would be okay.
Because those moments in between gave me something the sex itself couldn’t. It wasn’t just that everything went quiet in my head. I felt safe.
I didn’t just keep reaching out because I wanted sex. I kept reaching out because I wanted to be held.
And he, understandably, ended it all and I feel like everything is falling apart. No matter how many guys I sleep with, how many hugs I get. I keep craving that moment of peace I felt and I’m having a really hard time coping. I lost something I didn’t even know I could have.

TLdR; I use sex to cope. I found something better than sex, being held, and the only person who ever made me feel safe has ended things for personal reasons and I’m having a really hard time coping.


r/offmychest 15h ago

I am so exhausted by the "hustle culture" and I just want a completely mediocre, quiet life.

Upvotes

Everyone around me in their 20s is obsessed with side hustles, starting businesses, and maximizing every waking hour. I feel so guilty when I just want to sit on my couch, watch reality TV, and do absolutely nothing on my days off. I don't want to be a "boss babe" or grind 24/7. I just want to exist in peace, make enough to pay rent, and be left alone. It feels like a crime to admit that nowadays.


r/offmychest 4h ago

My drinks were spiked while out with friends and I don't know how to feel about it

Upvotes

Went out with friends over the weekend. We had had some gin at home so I was just taking ciders to keep the buzz going. At some point, my drink tasted funny, so I stopped taking it. I got violently ill in the bathroom, threw up and passed out in the club. I woke up in bed a few hours later. My bf paid the cleaning fee and got me home.

My friends keep joking about how I was such a mess even when I told them that my drink tasted funny. My bf admitted that one of our "friends" was spiking my drinks with whiskey. This is after he complained about how much money he spent on paying for cleaning and getting me home. I paid him back. I feel awful. I have an aversion to going out with anyone now. I'm scared that this will happen again. I'm reconsidering my relationships with most people.

EDIT: It's really validating to read all your comments. I thought I was overreacting because no one else seemed to care. I'm just happy that sb sees my perspective. Thank you.

EDIT2: I know who spiked my drink. It was sb who regularly tries to make women drink more than they should. I called him a "friend" because he is sb I had considered a friend before, but his actions make him a threat, not sb I would hang out with.


r/offmychest 6h ago

What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you that NEVER needed to happen?

Upvotes

I feel like I lost everything. I spent 10 years healing myself through chronic illness just to finally fully heal start looking great after 10 years of being bed ridden. Enjoyed my good looks and pain free life for 6 months and then lost it all by breaking my spine in a car accident. Currently only sleeping 3-4 days a week in extreme amounts of pain. Lost my good looks. My teeth enamel is thinned way out, gained tons of weight. Idk. I was so happy and excited to live this life. Now I'm back to my cage.

I effectively escaped chronic illness, lives in normal life for six months and then got catapulted back into chronic pain hell.

What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you that didn't need to happen?

TLDR; I used to believe everything happens for a reason (still believe in god) but now I soley just believe life just happens.


r/offmychest 12h ago

I don't understand why an overwhelming amount of people think being transgender is a choice

Upvotes

There are some cases where people actively choose to transition and that doesn't make them any more consenting to harassment or crimes of course. But a majority of transgender people don't have control over their identity, they are simply trying to have the life that everyone else has or trying to treat dysphoria that is severely affecting everything.

I don't understand why so many people believe it's a choice. Even people who say they are accepting or don't care, even people who aren't wrapped up in rhetoric or world events or people who have transgender folks in their own families, will pose it as a choice or outright call it a choice. How do people see transgender folks suffer so much, and see them also proceed to get treated so horribly and often even lose their jobs or homes or families, and think they are choosing this? If it was a choice, and wasn't so deeply effective, wouldn't a lot these transgender folks just pretend to be straight or say "whatever" and just maintain normal lives? Wouldn't conversion therapy and "consequences" work? Where is the logic and where is this coming from?

I've heard people say "You don't choose your gender." Exactly, you don't choose, and these folks don't have this black and white situation.


r/offmychest 17h ago

I did my absolute best, and I failed.

Upvotes

I considered writing to ChatGPT first, I must say, very tempting. But I want to be recognized by another person, not a computer.

To the point. I have had a large aspiration towards a career in academia. An aspiration which has been encouraged by my tutors, which made me take the leap. I have spent the last four years of my life oriented towards that goal, sacrificed by moving cities to work, forced myself to learn.

And now, I got my thesis back, and the grade is not good enough to continue. I do not know what to do, I feel empty. I am alone, and my life has suddenly been turned upside down. It feels like I have nothing.

It's strange. I told myself I could not do better than I performed, which I still believe. But this makes it rougher in a way, because I am simply not good enough, and now I am 30 and I have no idea what I am going to do with the rest of my life.

Love, me.


r/offmychest 17h ago

My father killed my mom and I still live with him

Upvotes

My father killed my mom when I was 3 months old. My sister and I were taken in by my aunt and grandmother.

I always knew what happened to my mother. I heard whispers and conversations between adults who thought children were too young to understand. When I was 5, one of my aunts even screamed in my face about what my father had done.

When I was 7, my father was released because he had committed the crime while in a state of psychosis, and he was allowed to come live in our home. I was pushed to be nice to him, even when I felt deeply uncomfortable around him.
I’m 22 now, still living with my family while I study and look for a job, and he still lives with us.

I’ve struggled with OCD, anxiety, and depression since I was a child. My aunt cares about us deeply, but she can also be extremely strict, controlling and emotionally abusive.

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and my executive dysfunction is so severe that I feel like I can’t do anything with my life. I can’t study, I can’t find a job, and I constantly feel like I’m failing at things that seem so easy for everyone else.

A year ago, I went through sexual trauma as well.
I’ve also been dealing with physical health problems for the past couple of years without getting any real answers. I’ve spent so much money trying to figure out what’s wrong with me, and I’m still nowhere.

I have a boyfriend whom I love, but our relationship has been going through serious problems too, and he struggles with depression himself.

At some point, I think I just became numb as a way of protecting myself from everything. Now I mostly feel this constant emptiness inside, interrupted by really low depressive episodes. I have no energy. I’m constantly exhausted. I’m completely unsatisfied with the state of the world right now and life in general.

Sometimes I can’t help feeling like I was doomed to suffer.
I don’t really know what I’m looking for by writing this. I just needed to get it all out somewhere.


r/offmychest 9h ago

My grandma is pressuring me to meet my biological dad and forgive him — what should I do?

Upvotes

A few months ago, I moved in with my grandma after finally being removed from my birth mother’s care. I was abused in every way by her and her boyfriend, Erik, who has been in her life since before I was born. He is an extremely abusive and, in my opinion, genuinely horrible person.

There’s a complicated family history behind all of this. Erik cheated on my mum with my dad’s wife. In retaliation, my mum and Erik got together, and my dad’s wife became pregnant with Erik’s child. Six months later My mom got pregnant with me. My mom and Erik eventually got back together, while my dad and his wife stayed together for the sake of their two other children, (they eventually spit up years later).

My dad’s wife cut contact with Erik and didn’t want her daughter around him. At the time, my dad was seeing me, but he was given the choice between staying with his wife and their children or leaving that relationship so he could continue being involved in my life. He chose them.

Because of that, I was left with my mum and Erik and was horrifically abused throughout my childhood, while my biological dad went on to raise the child he believed was his as his own. She still doesn’t know that he isn’t her biological father.

My grandma has now arranged a meeting between me and my dad because she thinks I should get to know him. The problem is, I absolutely do not want to meet him. I’m incredibly angry with him. He knew what kind of person Erik was and still chose to stay with them and leave me behind. While I was being abused, he was living what looked like a happy family life.

I don’t feel like I can forgive him for that, and honestly, I don’t know if I ever will.
My grandma keeps telling me that I should forgive him and that meeting him could help me heal, but I’m dreading the meeting and feel like I’m being pressured into something I don’t want.

Am I wrong for refusing to meet him? Do I owe him a chance because he’s my biological father? And is forgiveness something I should even be considering right now?


r/offmychest 5h ago

My sister (22F) stole my (19F) childhood crush (22M) just to "show me the mirror" and humiliate me. NSFW Spoiler

Upvotes

I need to get this off my chest because the sheer cruelty of what happened to me growing up still sits like lead in my chest, and I need an objective perspective on whether I'm crazy for holding onto this pain.

When I was around 8 years old (8F, 2nd grade), my family lived in a rented house. The landlady’s daughter came to visit for Chhath Puja with her kids. One of her children was a boy named Rohan (then 12M). We were just kids, and like many childhood stories, we started off squabbling over trivial things. But over those four short days, I developed the most innocent, uncorrupted, purest crush on him. It wasn’t about anything physical; it was just the sheer, glowing happiness of an 8-year-old. After those four days, he left. I had to wait months and years just to catch a fleeting glimpse of him whenever he visited his grandmother over a 5-year period.

By 5th grade (11F), I finally found his Facebook. I was young, awkward, and terribly cringe—I messaged him, but the interaction was minimal.

Fast forward to 2019. I was in 6th grade (13F), and Rohan was in 10th grade (17M). He came to town unexpectedly during Navratri and messaged my Facebook account. My elder sister, Priya (18F), saw the message first. Instead of handing me the phone, she pretended to be me and started chatting with him under my name.

At first, I was over the moon just seeing his name on the screen. I didn’t care that Priya was typing; I was just naive and happy that he was engaging. For three days, Rohan sent flirty messages—calling me pet names, saying he liked me. I was floating. But as soon as he went back home, reality hit like a brick wall: he blocked my account on every single platform. I spent an entire year heartbroken, making alternative accounts, trying to figure out what I did wrong, only to get blocked every time.

A year later, Priya (now 19F) sent him a request on Instagram from her own account. He accepted instantly. They started talking daily. One day, Priya asked him directly: "Do you like [My Name]?"

Rohan’s response was harsh: "No, absolutely not." Shortly after, he proposed to Priya, and they began officially dating.

That night was one of the worst nights of my life, but what hurt most wasn't even Rohan—it was my own family. Priya walked up to me, looked me in the eye with a sinister smirk, and sneered, "I’m not even as happy that he proposed to me as I am that I finally showed you the mirror."

The emotional torture didn't stop there. My other sister, Riya (17F), joined in to twist the knife. She came to me in a mocking tone and laid out the most gut-wrenching, cruel line: "He rejected you because of your skin tone. Look at yourself in the light—who would ever choose you over Priya?" They even started laughing about how my childhood longing was just a pathetic joke to everyone involved.

They weaponized every insecurity a 13-year-old girl could possibly have. They engaged in backbiting with him, where Rohan called me an "irritating nuisance" and joked that he only ever entertained the messages because he felt pity for how desperate I was. My sisters actively fed into it, laughing along on speakerphone while I was sitting in the very next room, forced to listen to every word.

Then, Priya started flaunting their relationship directly in my face. She would laugh, read his intimate text messages aloud, and brag, "Look, he said 'I love you' to me! Look what he bought for me! He never even remembered your existence."

She would look me in the eye and say, "I’m going to snatch him away from you completely," only to laugh it off as a "joke" when she saw me freeze. She even had the audacity to ask me, "What would you do if you and I both fell for the same guy?"—as if she hadn't already orchestrated that exact nightmare to humiliate me.

To top it all off, whenever Rohan came over, they would deliberately isolate me, treating me like an embarrassed secret they had to hide, while they paraded their relationship right in front of me. They degraded my appearance, shredded my self-worth, and converted a sweet, innocent childhood memory into an arena for emotional abuse, all to feed an ego trip against a 13-year-old child.


r/offmychest 9h ago

I saw my dads search history NSFW

Upvotes

I was helping my dad with some business stuff and I saw zoophilia and inc3st porn in his search history. My dad is not divorced and has two other daughters besides me. I’m very creeped out by this and I feel like I can not even look at my father in the eye. I want to forget but it’s like every time I even look at him I think about it and it makes me want to throw up. I don’t know if telling my mother or him that I saw it will cause further issues in the house or what because I do live in a typically conservative household. I don’t think about it whenever I’m out of the house or anything but I just can’t imagine myself living with this weighing on my chest. What do I do?


r/offmychest 7h ago

What I want to ask the woman my partner betrayed our relationship for.

Upvotes

How honest has he (40M) been with you (?F)? Or should I ask how much do you really know about me (42F) and him and us?

I know you now know about me or at least that he shares a home with his “Ex.” What a new term that is! Last week while you were texting, calling one another babe with kissy faces and making plans for your long weekend together did you know I was still wearing my engagement ring?

Did you know that he was going to lie to me about where he was headed for the weekend? Leave me in our home wondering why he’s become more distant and avoidant than he already was. All while I suspect he was going to lie to you about being single and unattached allowing your relationship with him to become physical.

I’m not proud that I went through his phone and that is how I found out about you and what has been happening behind my back. Yet, I wasn’t surprised he continued on with meeting you less than 24 hours after our breakup. After 11.5 years I know him well enough and it was probably that same knowledge that led me to snoop in the first place.

Did he tell you any of these details? I suspect you might still think you just met a nice guy on the internet who now speaks of me in the past tense.

I will also be the first to admit he and I have been unhappy for a long time. I really tried to accept him for who he is. I don’t know if he tried as hard to accept me. The idea of deserving better or deserving more has been floating in my brain for years as our relationship putted along. Though you have to agree this is not a justification for his behavior.

Everyone deserves a partner they can trust with their whole being. After hearing a bit more about me and him and us, do you think you deserve better too?


r/offmychest 12h ago

My (34F) little brother (25m) is trapped in a care facility and I need to get him out asap

Upvotes

My younger brother was institutionalised as a child because his care brought my parents money. Ten years later, I’m trying to get him out.

I’m 34F, my younger brother is 25, and we live in the Netherlands.

When I was nine, after years of believing I would be an only child, my brother was born. Two years later, we had a little sister too. She drowned in the creek behind our house when she was 2½. My brother was four and watched it happen.

I was thirteen. I came home from school and my mother told me the little ones had wandered off. I started searching the neighbourhood. When I reached the creek, I heard my mother scream. My sister died in hospital several hours later.

My brother never really recovered. His development stalled, he struggled at school and eventually went through seven different schools.

Then my parents went bankrupt and were close to becoming homeless.

At that exact point, my brother was placed in residential care against his will.

There had been no sudden violent incident, no crisis that made living at home impossible. My parents had discovered that, under a care arrangement, they could receive roughly €1,000 per month for caring for him during weekends while he stayed in residential care during the week.

That money paid the rent on their new home abroad.

From that moment on, my brother was increasingly described on paper as extremely difficult and highly dependent. Yet whenever he was supposedly “too much to handle” during the weekends, I was the one my parents called to take care of him.

And he simply wasn’t the person those descriptions suggested.

He was traumatised. He was behind developmentally. He needed guidance.

But he was not unmanageable.

For years, I didn’t fully understand what had happened. I was the older sister in a chaotic family and had already become the person who fixed things.

Then, in 2024, everything changed.

My mother finally left my father after decades of a deeply unhealthy relationship. She and my brother moved into my home.

Within months, my mother had taken over my house, my finances and increasingly my life. I was in my thirties, working full-time, yet she acted as though everything I had built belonged to her because she was my mother.

When I discovered how badly she was speaking about me to relatives, I gave her one month to find somewhere else to live.

She left the next day.

My brother stayed.

For several weeks, it was just the two of us.

And for the first time, I saw what happened when nobody constantly treated him like a helpless child.

He learned.

I taught him how to do laundry, iron, cook, manage household tasks, navigate relationships, talk about sex, arrange appointments and make everyday decisions.

I kept telling him:

“I’m your sister. I’m not your mother. I don’t want to run your life. I want to help you learn how to run it yourself.”

The day my mother left, he went on the first date of his life.

They are now engaged.

After my mother was gone, I also started helping him gain access to things he had never properly been involved in: his own care plans, his financial administrator and the documents that have determined his life.

What I found horrified me.

The man described on paper bears surprisingly little resemblance to the man I know.

According to his current care indication, he requires an extremely high level of support, approaching nursing-level care.

In reality, he speaks three languages fluently. He cooks. He cleans. He travels. He maintains a serious relationship. He can manage a household with support. He knows exactly where he wants to live and what kind of future he wants.

I am not saying he has no disability or that he needs no help.

He does.

But there is an enormous difference between needing support and being incapable of having your own life.

His current care package is worth roughly €7,000 per month.

That financial aspect is impossible for me to ignore, because money was part of his institutionalisation from the very beginning. When he was a child, his care generated the money my parents needed for housing. Today, an entire system is funded based on how dependent he is assessed to be.

Every individual involved is deliberately exploiting him. I he becomes more independent, his care needs decrease. If his care needs decrease, so does the money attached to him.

And nobody seems particularly motivated to discover how independent he might actually be.

Meanwhile, he is miserable.

He is 25 years old and has a curfew. He is generally only allowed to see his fiancée once a week. Since my mother disappeared from his daily life, he has lost around 25 kg. Staff have invited him to activities only to exclude him at the last moment. He regularly calls me heartbroken.

His wish is incredibly ordinary:

He wants to move to the city where his fiancée lives and transition into a more independent form of supported housing.

The problem is that my mother and I are both his court-appointed mentors.

I support him.

She refuses, because he does not want to talk to her.

She has told him she will only cooperate with his move if he shows her gratitude and agrees to see her personally.

He doesn’t want to.

The last time he saw her, she told him that she had nearly died by suicide twice. He called me afterwards completely overwhelmed, and I drove 1½ hours to comfort him.

His personal support worker appears to side with my mother. Contact with her has been kept from me despite the fact that I am also his mentor. The discrepancies between what my brother tells me happened and what later appears in official reports are becoming increasingly worrying.

I have complained.

I have sought independent client support.

I have written to the court.

I keep running into walls.

And I am getting dangerously close to simply taking my brother into my home.

Not because I want to become his full-time carer.

Quite the opposite.

I want someone independent to finally compare the person described in twenty years of paperwork with the person who actually exists today.

But taking him home could have serious legal and practical consequences, and I don’t want my desperation to make his situation worse.

There is also a selfish part of this that I struggle with.

I was a glass child. I was heavily parentified. I spent my childhood dealing with my parents’ crises and protecting my younger siblings.

I love my brother more than anything.

But I am 34 now. For the first time, I have a happy relationship, a career and the chance to build my own life.

I do not want to become his replacement mother.

I want him to have his own life.

His own home. His fiancée. Work or education if that is possible. Freedom appropriate to his actual abilities. And support for the things he genuinely cannot do alone.

I cannot accept that the answer is lifelong institutionalisation simply because that is what has been written about him since childhood.

So I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore.

Please tell me what to do, because I genuinely feel like I have tried everything.

I carry a lot of guilt around this. When I was a child, I prayed every single night for a little brother. Sometimes, irrationally, I feel responsible for the life he ended up with because I wanted him so badly.

I don’t want him to merely exist inside a system. I want him to have a life where he is allowed to reach for the stars, even if he needs help getting there.

He wants to be a dad. He wants to own a farm. And I don’t think those dreams are unrealistic. I know my brother, and I know what he is capable of. He may need support, but he deserves the chance to build a life that is bigger than the limits other people keep placing on him.

Right now, almost every ambition he has is shut down before he even gets the chance to try. He has been told he will never be able to get a driver’s licence, yet he has passed his trial theory exam four times in a row. He is not stupid. He is delayed, traumatised and needs support. That is not the same thing as being incapable.

I have tried complaints. I have tried independent client support. I have contacted the court. I have tried raising concerns through safeguarding channels. I keep asking for someone to look at the person he actually is, instead of blindly accepting what has been written about him for years.

If there is anyone reading this who knows the Dutch care system, disability law, safeguarding, mentorship or supported living, please help me.

I don’t know how to get him out.

I promised him I would get him out. Big sisters keep their promises. I just don’t know how to keep mine anymore.


r/offmychest 12h ago

Attending a coworker's wedding last week made me wish I had more opportunities to be around classily-dressed people.

Upvotes

I am a teacher. Most of my coworkers are women, and our outfits are supposed to be "professional attire." That just means no jeans for anyone and ties for the guys.

I've worked at this same school for over 20 years. I've worked with some of my coworkers for just as long. Once per year, on our school picture day, some of my coworkers "do it up nice" and wear slightly better things than they otherwise would.

But, until last week, when we all went to a coworker's wedding, I'd never seen my coworkers in really formal wear. The two other male coworkers and I were in suits. But the ladies, wow. They were in dresses and heels, with their hair and makeup done. All of their "glow-ups" were impressive, but some of them really knocked it out of the park.

It was nice, but bittersweet. It made me wish I worked in an environment where these sorts of events happened more often, or where people simply dressed nicer on a regular basis. Teachers can't wear dresses and heels, for practical reasons. It's one of those little regrets I have about my profession.


r/offmychest 15h ago

I dont think men get taken seriously about this.

Upvotes

When I was in middle school. I had a classmate that would come up to me every day in the hall our outside leaving and grab my Crotch from behind. I hated it. It pissed me off and nothing I did got her to stop. The only thing I didn't do was tell a teacher because all of my friends called me Gay for not enjoying it and nobody took my complaints seriously.

I have a hard time talking about this even now because every time I have brought it up people say stuff like "you were a lucky guy" or again call me gay for not liking it. And when I get that response it passes me off to no end.

So now when I see other guys go through similar things my heart aches for them. Its awful that anyone male or female goes through it but men get little to no help with it. And I just wish someone would see that its wrong. I someday feel like im a bad guy because I got mad at her for it.

Am I crazy?


r/offmychest 18h ago

Why can’t we ever have a person in our life we love to the fullest someone who just stays? Why does that person always have to leave?

Upvotes

I want answer to this


r/offmychest 11h ago

Since I'm nobody's sun, I'm going to be my own star

Upvotes

A few months ago, I bought two tickets to a Blue Jays game that also has a retro bag giveaway. Originally, I thought maybe I'd use them for a date. I was in some minor accidents that left permanent scars that killed my appeal, I couldn't work out either so no lookin like Will West.

The past few months have felt like every time I try to do something, something goes wrong. I was having an especially bad couple of weeks and had been spiraling pretty hard. Then I put on one of Jungles songs, come back to me. I found out they were having a concert the day after the Blue Jays game who I planned to go with a friend.

She's the person who called me the most when I disappeared from social media for a while, and the first person I actually left the house to see when I finally came back around. She's also the only friend I have who regularly listens to this band. We've played games together while listening to them, including slowed and reverb versions of their songs.

So I started connecting the dots.

Friday, we'd go to the baseball game. Saturday, we'd go see the band together. Hell maybe we get a hotel room for Friday night. We play some games (+ Junk food) and I finally have someone who I just explain my spiraling mind too, someone to confide in.

For the first time in a while, I remember thinking, I've actually got this figured out.

I felt alive. I felt like I could take on every other struggle in my life. It sounds ridiculous that a concert plan could do that, but it wasn't just a concert. It was something I genuinely loved, shared with someone who actually understood why I loved it, and I finally had something positive to look forward to.

If anyone ever watched the music video to that Jungle song I was deadass hitting those moves.

Then I texted her and asked if she was free Saturday.

She said she was busy.

I was like damn this was the one time I actually bought the tickets first before getting confirmation.

Then she asked what time because she genuinely wanted to make it happen. I told her it was at 8 PM and that it was a Jungle concert.

That's when she told me her boyfriend had apparently been planning to surprise her with tickets to the exact same concert.

I don't blame either of them. He didn't do anything wrong. She didn't do anything wrong. If anything, I completely understand it. He's her boyfriend. Of course he's her first choice. That's just how it is.

But I think that's what hurt.

The person I most wanted to share this with already had someone of her own to share it with.

And I know there are technically other people I could ask. I could probably go alone. But neither feels right. I didn't buy these tickets with a random empty seat beside me in mind. And I don't trust myself to go alone right now. Taking someone else would feel like trying to force a replacement into a plan that was never meant for them.

The weirdest part is that nobody rejected me. Nobody betrayed me. Nobody chose against me.

I just had one of those moments where, for a brief second, everything lined up in my head and I thought, I've actually got this figured out.

And then, through nobody's fault, the universe found an absurdly specific way to make that exact plan impossible.

Maybe I'll still go to the baseball game with her. Maybe I'll find someone else to take to the concert. Maybe I'll sell the tickets (Not like I was flush with cash to begin with). I genuinely don't know. I haven't been sleeping or eating much for a long time, my thoughts scare me. I just can't catch a break. No one knows I almost jumped infront of a train and into oncoming traffic this last week.

I still don't know how I'm gonna handle next weekend, I do want that giveaway bag the Blue Jays are offering been thinking about that for months but I don't think I have it in me to go and lineup (Cause there is a chance you just don't get a bag).

After this I think I gotta be like Frank Castle in Brand New Day. Cringe af reference but I lost my brothers, my mother and a bunch of other people. But I need to be on my own after next weekend, whether or not I do end up going to the blue jays game or Jungle concert.


r/offmychest 10h ago

My friendship ended and I’m relieved

Upvotes

I’ve been drifting away from my friend for a while. She’s always been emotionally volatile and would rage texted people, lose friendships and relationships etc. it’s been about 8 years of me not enjoying being in the friendship anymore, but she struggled to have any other friends in our hometown (she has no long term friends) and we are both in our 30s.

This weekend she saw me out alone having a drink before leaving the bar, decided I was leaving because I saw her (according to her) and she went nuclear on me in texts before I had even left the parking lot. I didn’t even see her at the bar cause it was crowded. I’m so ok with my decision for the friendship to be over. She already deleted me off of Facebook and Instagram.


r/offmychest 14h ago

my dad told me a really weird story about my underwear.

Upvotes

i (18f) just started college and i came back home for the weekend. i was packing up the rest of my stuff to leave and my dad came in and saw some of my underwear on the ground. then he said “oh that reminds me, did i tell you how i embarrassed myself last week?” then, he starts telling a story about how my mom and dad were going to bed, and he was picking out some pajamas for my mom. he said that he picked out a t-shirt and some “sexy, sl*tty underwear” (his words, not mine). then, my mom refused to put them on because THEY WERE MINE. then, he said he put the underwear away and obviously she didn’t wear them. i feel really uncomfortable about the whole situation, but i don’t know if im overreacting. i just think it’s odd that he would still call them “sexy” underwear even though he now knows they are mine. i feel so creeped out and i don’t even want to talk to him anymore.