r/offmychest • u/Otherwise_Scratch970 • 10h ago
My drinks were spiked while out with friends and I don't know how to feel about it
Went out with friends over the weekend. We had had some gin at home so I was just taking ciders to keep the buzz going. At some point, my drink tasted funny, so I stopped taking it. I got violently ill in the bathroom, threw up and passed out in the club. I woke up in bed a few hours later. My bf paid the cleaning fee and got me home.
My friends keep joking about how I was such a mess even when I told them that my drink tasted funny. My bf admitted that one of our "friends" was spiking my drinks with whiskey. This is after he complained about how much money he spent on paying for cleaning and getting me home. I paid him back. I feel awful. I have an aversion to going out with anyone now. I'm scared that this will happen again. I'm reconsidering my relationships with most people.
EDIT: It's really validating to read all your comments. I thought I was overreacting because no one else seemed to care. I'm just happy that sb sees my perspective. Thank you.
EDIT2: I know who spiked my drink. It was sb who regularly tries to make women drink more than they should. I called him a "friend" because he is sb I had considered a friend before, but his actions make him a threat, not sb I would hang out with.
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u/GenZWrites 10h ago
Well for starters the boyfriend has to go. Not only did he watch that happen and not stop it, he chose to not warn you AND had the audacity to complain. He is not a safe person
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u/ThrowAway29192832 10h ago edited 9h ago
Not only is he not warning her. He's not telling her who spiked her drink. This is soooooo illegal on so many levels. I would also suggest dumping the boyfriend for being a real a**hole on this and sue and collect your millions in personal injury damages.
Edit: This is also assault, by the way.
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u/Jace_Enby_Devil 10h ago
Thats absolutely horrific and illegal. I would never speak to any of yhose people again. I cant believe you paid him back. He deserves criminal charges not money back for the problem he created!
My heart hurts for you OP. I hope your bf is taking this seriously or thats a massive red flag
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u/Otherwise_Scratch970 9h ago
I talked to him. I told him how uncomfortable I was and how it seemed he was more focused on losing money rather than on my safety.
He's talked to the man that did this to me because I can't even bring myself to speak to him, let alone be near him. I still can't forget how alone I felt in that moment. I've been a mess before while out, but that was out of my own volition. No one had to give me sth I had refused before.
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u/multiface 9h ago
Your bf either spiked your drink and made up the story or he is covering for a criminal. They put more than whiskey in your drink.
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u/ThrowAway29192832 9h ago
I would seriously consider a lawsuit. The fact that the boyfriend appears to be withholding who did this is diabolical. Please dump him and sue him for assault and make sure his life is ruined.
This makes him an accomplice after the fact by not sharing who spiked your drink.
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u/armedwithjello 6h ago
I'd be less concerned with a lawsuit and more focused on making a police report. Perhaps also go to a hospital and inquire about a rape kit, because you have no idea what happened to you while you were unconscious. Even if it's been a couple of days, there would still be evidence if something happened to you. Injuries like scrapes and bruises can be documented, as well as DNA traces if anyone had sexual contact with you. I'd be worried that the "friend" did something to you, and that your BF is covering for him.
Having a rape kit done can support your case for a criminal or civil suit if you decide to go that way.
You can also reach out to your local DV centre to help you process this. Even if there was no sexual assault involved, it was still assault, and it was done to you because you're a woman.
Please cut these men and anyone associated with them out of your life. They are dangerous to you.
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u/Wheeeuu 10h ago edited 9h ago
So your boyfriend was complicit in your drink getting spiked, and then made you feel bad for being sick as a result of being spiked? This is honestly so fucked up and not to mention dangerous.
Girl, your boyfriend is supposed to protect you from shit like this, not facilitate!
Shitty friends, shitty boyfriend, and I don’t blame you for not wanting to go out with them again. I wouldn’t.
Most people aren’t like this. Sorry this happened to you.
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u/Relatively_happy 9h ago
Not defending the offenders here, but she was spiked with trace amounts of whiskey, and this was an hour after she was doing straight shots of gin..
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u/Otherwise_Scratch970 9h ago
This is the kind of response that disheartens me. I took a few shots of blackcurrant flavored gin with a chaser. I then took some ciders, about 5% ABV. Then a man puts whiskey in my drinks, but your issue here is that it was either trace amounts so I shouldn't have been sick, or I was complicit because I kept drinking a spiked drink that should have been strong enough for me to notice???
I didn't ask for the whiskey. I refused to take it specifically because the brand they bought is nasty and has made me ill before.
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u/Relatively_happy 8h ago
I think that spiking drinks is 100% wrong.
I also think you are 100% responsible for passing out and vomiting everywhere.
3 shots of gin and also a few 5% ciders?
And you admit youre a lightweight, im 35 year old man thats a lightweight and that alone would have made me very drunk.
Im sorry to say, but if youd already been seen drinking that much, friends handing you drinks with alcohol in them is pretty standard behaviour beyond that point
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u/armedwithjello 6h ago
You are part of the reason women don't report sexual assaults. You blame the victim.
She knows how much she can drink. She as given enough whiskey to make her drinks taste different, and that's not a trace amount. She stopped drinking her drink because it tasted wrong. And she became violently ill and lost consciousness. The boyfriend is claiming it was due to whiskey, but that kind of reaction comes from something stronger than whiskey. He is trying to downplay what happened by making it a joke, when what he should have done was stop his friend from spiking her drink and let her know before she drank it. So the boyfriend is an accomplice in the crime of administering a noxious substance.
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u/Relatively_happy 5h ago edited 5h ago
I completely agree!
We live in a society where police tell us to lock our cars and dont leave your purse in plain site.. and then let sexual offenders off on bail.
Im not blaming her, im asking for information because things dont add up.
If some random redditor can tear her story a part in 3 comments and 2 replies, how the fuck would she stand up in court against a professional defender? No chance.
This is where self preservation comes in.
So to surmise;
Either the drink was strong af, or it tasted funny and she kept drinking lots of them.OR my personal theory.. it wasnt spiked with alcohol.
I personally think it was spiked with a drug and the boyfriends covering. In which case he and his mate need to be in big trouble.
Ive personally been spiked by ketamine and it was fucking horrible, if it kicked in 10 minutes later i would have been riding my motorbike, would have been bad. I get it.
But if it was truly whiskey, then i think theres some clear information missing and some very dumb decisions being made on both parts.
Already just from questioning i have gotten out of her she drank 6 standard drinks in 1 hour before the whiskey event. Thats a lot for a lightweight
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u/Wheeeuu 3h ago
Sorry, but you’re not a redditor “tearing her story apart,” but you are being self-contradictory and assumptious. You’re also just totally missing the point.
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u/Relatively_happy 2h ago
Thats all well and merry but in the real world theres a thing called context.
“I got drunk and passed out and its because someone laced 1 drink with a barely noticeable amount of whiskey”
Becomes something entirely different when it becomes “my boyfriend is pissed about paying for taxi cleaning because i did 3 shots and drank 6 standard drinks in 1 hour while im also a notorious lightweight, i got drunk and passed out so im deflecting by saying i think its my boyfriends mates fault because he put some whiskey in my drink after i had already drank more than nearly every other person at the party”
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u/Wheeeuu 9h ago edited 9h ago
How do you know it was trace amounts?
Even if it was, I don’t think giving any amount of intoxicant to anyone without their consent is ok.
She also mentions elsewhere in this thread that she’s a lightweight. If you can’t hold your liquor (I too am a lightweight) but you want to drink, you keep a close eye on how much you’ve consumed because it’s easy to go overboard. Doesn’t mean you can’t do a shot or two.
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u/Relatively_happy 8h ago
Whiskey has a pretty strong flavour, especially
If youre a lightweight, which i am to as i dont drink.If someone puts bourbon in your soft drink you know, unless it is a very very small amount.
Regardless, a few shots of gin before hand would have been the more likely cause and seeing as she was doing shots before hand would have likely made other party goers think she was drinking that night, which she was.
Again, im not defending anyone, its wrong, but i also think that either;
- She had two drinks that had a lot of whiskey and she should have noticed straight away.
- or she drank a shitload of soft drink that ‘tasted funny’, which is equally dumb.
Spiking drinks is wrong, but in todays world, self preservation is a must
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u/SaltyPopcornColonel 3h ago
But she tasted it, dummy. Therefore, it was not "trace amounts."
Think.
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u/Relatively_happy 1h ago
Then why the fuck did she keep drinking enough of it to make her pass out completely.
Think
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u/SaltyPopcornColonel 3h ago
Where did you read "trace amounts"?
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u/Relatively_happy 1h ago
Its called deduction.
Whiskey has an incredibly strong taste.
So it must have been a tiny amount for her to keep drinking it.
The problem, is this means she would have needed to drink a substantial amount of this ‘funny tasting drink’ for it to have an effect.
The alternative is that it was quite strong and she chose to drink it anyway.
Take your pick
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u/MzOpinion8d 9h ago
I’m a nurse, and passing out for hours like that most likely means he put something besides whiskey in that drink.
The fact that your boyfriend knew he was spiking your drink with anything and didn’t protect you is incredibly concerning.
It’s even more concerning to consider he may have assisted him in spiking the drink, and put more than just whiskey in it.
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u/Relatively_happy 10h ago
All these people suck.
But also, spiked with whiskey? Thats a pretty strong flavour and to have enough to pass out? How many non alcoholic drinks did you drink??
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u/Otherwise_Scratch970 10h ago edited 9h ago
I was halfway through my second one before I noticed a funny taste. I had taken a couple of shots of gin about an hour before that.
I'm a lightweight, and I think it was the mixing of drinks rather than being drugged with sth else that made me sick.
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u/Relatively_happy 9h ago
Im not trying to shoot you down, im trying to deduce whether it was actually whiskey they spiked you with.
Im a bloke, a lightweight drinking and i have also been spiked, but it was likely ketamine.
For whiskey youd need a small amount to make it not super obvious, especially if youre a lightweight, shit is disgusting if not in the right mixer.
So either you drank a shit tonne of spiked drinks or it was quite obviously alcoholic and you kept drinking anyway, which at either point i would think your friend would have assumed you were in on it.
Also straight Gin is fucking nasty shit, i wouldnt be surprised if thats what caused this whole episode.
My worst night partying ended up on straight gin and that just fucked me up in a bad way. Never again
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u/Unlucky-Comfort4917 10h ago
Time to dump the boyfriend and any of the friends that were involved with or knew about pouring whiskey (or anything you didn't consent to) into your drink.
This isn't a "what if ... wouldve happened." It DID happen - you became violently ill, blacked out, and woke up in a bed. The fact that it could've been worse isn't necessary here. It was bad enough.
This is horrifying. Your friends and boyfriend are the sort of people I warn my almost 18yo daughter about. These people are not your friends. They're assholes and absolute liabilities.
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u/multiface 9h ago
Your bf made a cover story bc he is the one who spiked your drink. He used narcissistic tactics to make you feel bad about getting sick to distract you from it. Get away from him now.
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u/DayAble7777 9h ago
Missy, my advice is to leave your boyfriend. He's supposed to protect you. You should be able to trust him but it is plain that trust is broken. It's a good thing that you still have your kidneys, and not in a foreign land forced to do things you don't want to. Please leave this so-called boyfriend. Block him. You do not have to explain anything to him. I hope you find someone who will protect you, someone you can trust to watch your back (drinks).
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u/fragiletestes 9h ago
Theres no way i’d stay in a relationship if my SO knew i was (1) being spiked, (2) said nothing (3)presumably didnt ask about my wellbeing (4) complained about the money even though the reason they paid was because they knew i was being spiked??
Sorry OP, and ik this is classic reddit advice, but i’d seriously consider your relationship with him. huge red flags all around.
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u/MajorJunket9025 9h ago
I'm so sorry this happened to you, it's actually very very scary that your bf reacted that way, like many said. I'll try not to repeat what ppl already said in the comments, I'll just add that consent is important in all settings. Just bc you're taking shots of gin, it doesn't mean you're interested in drinking whiskey (if it's even that) without your knowledge.
- Mixing alcohol, especially hard liquor like that is no good and probably why you felt so ill
- Some ppl are legit allergic to certain types of alcohol but not all. Like you can't just be giving shit for ppl to eat and drink without their knowledge
If ppl around you cannot understand that especially after you've explained it to them (though you shouldn't need to), you need to seriously reconsider going out with them bc like for reals, how can you feel safe otherwise? You are valid to feel the way you do.
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u/cynuhstir1 10h ago
If your boyfriend knew someone was spiking your drink and did nothing you should evaluate that relationship first. You shouldn't be friends with any of these people.