Ok so I've been going back and forth on this for weeks and I need outside brains.

Mid 30s, trans woman, papers done, everything's official. I started transitioning five years ago, been on HRT since, and physically nothing gives it away anymore. I joined a women's amateur sports team this season. Team sport, locker rooms, the whole thing. Two of my closest friends are on the team too and they've known about me for years, it's a total non-issue with them, so I'm not actually alone. But the rest of the girls have no idea.

And it's going well. Too well almost. They talk to me about periods, they change in front of me, nobody blinks. I don't shower with the group, I've kind of let that pass as being shy, which isn't even a lie tbh.

But the closer we get the more I feel this clock ticking. If I wait and it comes out later, I'm scared it turns into "why didn't you tell us", like I tricked them or something. If I say it now, I'm scared of the other thing. Not a big scene, more the quiet version. Less passes, less being included, the whispering that just never stops. I know a lot of them are young and honestly I have no idea how that cuts.

And yeah, I know. I don't owe anyone my medical history. I've read that sentence a hundred times. Doesn't help much at 1am when you actually like these people and you want them to know you.

So if any of you have been through this in a team setting, stealth or not, I'd really like to hear how it went. Did you tell them? All at once, one person first, never? If it came out without you deciding, what actually happened? And if it went badly, I want to hear that too, I'd rather know than keep guessing.

Thanks for reading my late night spiral.

Warning: NSFW

So, I took some of your suggestions and put them to use tonight. This is an update to a previous post discussing how to (and how not to) boof progesterone.

First, thank you to everyone who gave me considerably more detail than I've ever seen whenever this question comes up. Truly, it was helpful!

Tonight went much better.

I set aside the dusty water-based lube in favor of premium, Grade A saliva. Several of you described getting the capsule, your finger, and the uh...loading dock...wet with water first. I took that idea one step further and remembered that we humans have been using saliva as a short-term lubricant since approximately forever.

Some of you also suggested lying down, which reminded me that during the few times I've experimented with this particular...route...things were most...

Enjoyable?

I use that word hesitantly.

Anyway, it was considerably easier for me on my back or side than any variation of a sitting position. I also happen to have a standing mirror available, which meant I could actually see what the hell I was doing. Last night, I was attempting this sitting on the toilet with no mirror.

In retrospect, perhaps not my finest tactical decision.

So tonight I donned a glove (my nails are sharp, and there are some places I would very much prefer not to accidentally scratch), wet the glove with saliva, pre-moistened the field, then rolled the capsule around between my fingers for about 15 seconds. Then I gently pushed it in while bearing down ever so slightly.

One of you may have suggested that. I honestly don't remember. But I did remember it from my aforementioned experimental phase.

And...holy shit, that was easier.

The combination of lying down, saliva, a mirror, and slightly bearing down made the entire thing way more tolerable. No lost capsules. No lubricant crime scene. No increasingly desperate battle between my fingers and my asshole. No internal EJECT! EJECT! EJECT!! alarm going off.

I am still feeling a little crampy afterward (boo!), but it was nowhere near as messy, frustrating, or painful as last night.

So, after declaring both available methods completely unsustainable within approximately 24 hours, I may have to revise my conclusion.

This might actually be sustainable. :)

Thank you again to everyone who ended up writing the 14-step, almost-illustrated owner's manual for How to Shove Your Progesterone Up Your Ass.

It turns out I actually needed it.

Sweet dreams. 😂

So I went to a Weird Al concert yesterday and it was amazing. I went with my dad and sister and we spent the whole day listening to Americas only respected parody music artist sing his absolute bangers and after the show in the car I was like. Hey I’m trans and he was super cool about!

It was like a huge weight off my shoulders and I was pretty wound up like a toy so it was super nice. Gonna try to relax some more and get a vibe on my mother so I can tell her too.

Oh and thank you Weird AL! Big fan and had a wonderful time happy enough to come out!

My sister is being indoctrinated by terfs, she keeps quizzing me about trans people as if im the spokesperson for the community. I've become so tired of arguing with her and I don't know what spaces she's looking at because she doesn't have Xitter, but I think she's found her viewpoints from TikTok, all caused by that one podcast thing where they talked about who experiences womanhood more beautifully. That's the only social media place shes on

I had always tried to educate her on terms like cis and trans,so she's always known what cis means but now suddenly she thinks it's a new thing that only came out last month when we've been using cis for years. She claims she's a feminist, but she doesn't care about ALL women (trans women). She's also getting involved in all this gender war stuff, and this is all brought on because her bad ex recently came out as trans so I guess she wants revenge or something I don't know

I'm so done with her, my other sister had the exact same upbringing but oddly its only one of them that is obsessed with trans people now. It's so hard to explain things to her now because she's just surrounded by her terf spaces

Today was a really, really hard travel day and I just really need to vent to people who understand. I was flying home from Las Vegas, and since it was so hot out, I finally decided to just wear a dress. I usually default to dressing masculine when I travel because my ID hasn't been changed yet, but I wanted to feel cute and comfortable. When I got to security, the body scanner flagged me. The officers told me it showed an anomaly between my crotch and my backside. I wasn't hiding a single thing—I was just tucked.
I know the machines are sensitive to anatomy, but the worst part was how they handled it. Instead of bringing over a female officer, they had a man do the pat-down. Having a man touch me there while I was standing there in my dress felt so deeply violating and scary. I’m back safe now, but I'm still feeling so shaken up and hurt by how I was treated.
.

They also have to give some money to some made up fund for detransitioners. It’s so brutal to see how we’ve ended up compared to 10-15 years ago.

All I can say is I’ll never forgive anyone who voted for this, even if they’re sorry, even if they lost everything, even if they realize they’re queer down the line, the destroyed the lives of kids and teens who stood where I stood once.

It feels like every time a trans person vents about something related to their transition, the “don’t worry you’re still valid ✨” comments come flooding in.

When a trans person is unable to access or afford HRT:

“You’re still valid without HRT uwu!”

When a trans person has difficulty changing their name/sex on documents:

“You’re still valid regardless of what your documents say teehee!”

When a trans person can’t get surgery:

“You’re still valid even if you don’t get surgery hugs”

I get that these people mean well, but I genuinely don’t give a fuck if I’m “valid” or not. It’s a worthless term. What matters is that we’re able to transition and live our lives.

So cis friends of mine (I’m not out to them) brought this question up. And their answers are so funny and stupid.

I just stayed quiet thinking ‘I’d be trying to figure out how to make sure I didn’t turn back’ lmao

God I need to get out of here… 😭

*edit they meant if you woke up one morning afab, should have specified, haha

Yesterday I made a post about a trans pharmacist filling my estradiol prescription. People started writing smut about me and her hooking up and fucking in the comments. I wish I was joking.

Jesus Christ can we not put everything in a sexualized context? The point of the post was that we are not as isolated as we tend to think we are at times, not that we're all secretly horny and thinking about fucking each other. It turned a sweet post about solidarity into erotica. It's just as unwelcome from other trans people as it is from cis chasers.

Are you going more frequently? For shorter durations? Any change in sensation? Do you still have to aim?

Just a thought a socially transitioned, pre-HRT girlie like me had in the women’s restroom yesterday

Thanks!

So I’ve been contemplating whether or not I should make use of my school’s free hormones their offering (look at previous posts to see why), and I’ve finally decided I’ll do it. At least, that’s what I’d like to say. I have discovered that I’m the type of girl that can have help within my grasp, all I need to do is close my hand, and I’ll still refuse. So, my ask is for anyone who sees this to spam my notifications tomorrow so I actually go through and call the student health center.

I'm big mad about it

Her favorite is ”Sir”; and she always claims she “forgets” that it bothers me. But; she will often go out of her way to use sex in an exclusionary way, or call me a guy, man, bro, and always brings up how I am apparently an uncle or a brother.

And whenever I call her out, she pretends she just forgot. But she very clearly knows I am trans.?Like why not just be transphobic with your chest out? Who are you preforming for you fucking liar. This shit bothers me so much. Because I know she has to put INTENTION behind hurting me this way; so why not put it to good use? At the very least why not be neutral???? Why actively be a bigot to your OWN CHILD?

No wonder I repressed so hard when that was what my mother was like. I don’t think I’ve EVER heard her say anything positive about LGBTQ community, only intense hatred for us.

Hello. I want to start HRT but the only thing really holding me back is my face and the prospects of it passing. I've always been told by my parents my facial features resemble my mom more than my dad, but I still have a very mesculine face. I've heard HRT can redistribute facial fat and it causes you to look more like your mom, so I want to know what your experiences with that is? Is it true? I'm guessing it's just a case-by-case basis, so aside from that, what are some strategies to have a more feminine facial structure?

34 years

6mg E & 200mg Spiro daily (12 months)

Today for the first time, with a new sports bra, from Mr Price, I tried it on and looked down, at the girls, and finally had cleavage, it's small, but it ​was actually cleavage, it felt so exhilarating to see my small A cup boobs on my chest.

I've always loved A cup boobs, and wanted my own for as long as I can remember. ​

I AM JUST SO EXCITED AND HAD TO SHARE

First of all, I am NOT planning to do anything drastic to get GCS - I am mostly just curious about this from a situational + theoretical level.

But, does anyone know if anyone has actually been in an accident that required pelvic reconstruction that resulted in rebuilding things to match gender identity instead of previous physical anatomy? I know that it would probably be a bad idea in the first place since you’re unlikely to get someone who’s particularly skilled in transfer vaginoplasty (let alone with damaged material), but I also know that a lot of my transfer friends have mentioned fantasizing about it at some point during their transition as a form of escapism from the body horror that anatomical dysphoria can be sometimes. It might also be nice to have something to say next time it’s brought up in present tense as a way of reducing the strength with which that feels like a plausible option in extreme dysphoria episodes.

So yeah, are there any documented and/or by-the-grapevine of accident-induced reconstructive trans gender confirmation surgery that anyone has heard of?

Sorry this is incoherent, I'm just a trans guy lurking here and I suddenly just wanna gush about how much I love being trans, especially the part where I get to be "siblings" with other trans folk, esp transfems!! Seriously, being a woman is awesome (just not for me lol), being trans is awesome, and you are being so incredible just by living, however you are.

I know things are hard, especially for transfems, but I want to tell you to not give up on yourself. Of course, there's nothing wrong with not coming out for ANY reason, you, too, are included when I talk about being awesome and incredible and brave, and you, too are loved. I hope the world is kinder to you (to us!), because you deserve to live however you want to live, you deserve to feel at home in your body, you deserve to feel gender euphoria, you deserve to be addressed correctly by others! and anyone who says otherwise is a prick and fuck them!

Idk, I just feel this joy in my heart whenever I see a trans woman thrive, I really wish you all the best of luck. I know there's a lot of shit going on in the world and in the trans community, but I do really feel like you're my sisters and wish people, trans and cis, were kinder to you and listened to your voices.

I hope you have a spectacular day! I love you!! Mwah!!!

I'm not really sure if this is the right place to ask this, but I really think I need some help. Im 23, cis male, 5'11 and 220-230 lbs, so pretty stocky (more to love). I've also always built muscle pretty easily because of genes(?), and I would say nothing about my appearance is feminine except my plump thighs, because of the fat.

From a very young age I've been fascinated with women, both in admiring them and desiring to be like them. I have vivid memories of trying on my mom's heeled boots, and later getting into gender bender/feminization as a fetish. It's safe to say it's had a pretty big influence on my identity though I can't really pinpoint how its affected me.

Despite all that, I've always been perfectly content with being a man, and in fact I really enjoy being a "dude". However, recently on a whim I did some private role play, and discovered a deeply seeded excitement and desire to be feminine. At first it started out as just me being horny, and I was fine with that, but I started ordering stuff from Amazon (private things, as well as panties and stockings). The excitement grew very rapidly and I even began to feel a semblance of the "female" orgasm during play (at least I think thats what it was judging by how overwhelmingly different it was from playing with my man part. I've heard it described as intense long lasting waves of pleasure throughout the body).

Anyways, I then ordered a bra and silicone inserts, and when I put it on it felt like a piece of me that's been missing for my entire life was suddenly there. I looked in the mirror, and I wasn't disgusted or ashamed, I felt excited because of how complete I felt. I think this means I want breasts, idk?

The thought of doing HRT really fascinates me, I would love to have a more feminine body, especially since I feel like it'd be a lot easier for me to present as a man with my build even if I had more curves and breasts.​ However I also know that I really want to have a typical sex experience with my partner (whenever that might happen, im a virgy, chalk it up to low self-esteem), and maybe even have bio-kids (I read hrt regularly causes infertility), and I know for a fact that if that did happen I would want to present as a masc father. But still... I really, really want boobs, and while the silicone was great for awakening that part of me, as well as during horny time, the novelty wore off quick and I feel even worse knowing I don't have breasts (real breasts, not my fat moobies).

So like I said before, I actually enjoy being a guy, and I do not want to take away from that. I think my ideal reality would be to transition between fem and masc when I want, which seems kind of like gender fluid as far as I understand it (not very much), but I actually feel more androgynous (maybe the wrong term?) in that I don't really feel like im one or the other on certain days. It fluctuates rapidly with my mood and situation. Right now I spend most of my time masc, and become fem only in private when I feel like it.

Now this is all still extremely new (about a week in), and I know I absolutely CANNOT make any judgements because it could still just be a fetish, but I've always been hyper analytical and observant, and known exactly how to deal with my feelings at all times. But in this case, I feel utterly blind, and I just want to know what exactly am I in for.

*TRAUMA DUMP*, I hope thats okay. I think some important context is needed *trigger warning, I'm talking about religion*

(suffice it to say I got some trauma), I grew up in what can practically be considered a cult (actually a multi-million $ corporation which profits off of the ignorance and fear of others, iykyk) and in 2020 I had a major faith crisis, which completely shattered my identity and I had to reassemble it very slowly. It wasn't till recently and with the help of my family (who also went through that), that I feel like I understand who I am, and now all of a sudden I'm discovering this fem side??

It's honestly so overwhelming, and I know for the sake of my sanity I cannot go through another life altering crisis (such as coming out to my still relatively conservative family, though idek if that'd be a necessity, I just am trying to prepare my mind for the possibility).

Jesus that was long, sorry "_.

Basically im just really confused, I cant talk to anyone, and for the first time in my life I cant figure it out for myself (at least not yet). I need help.

Well, like the titel said.

He usually only gets the tip in and it's very frustrating to think about. I realy want to have sex with him but it woudn't be the first that my motivation to do so leads to me beading at some point or another. The amount of lube that we use is also not the problem. I think it has something to do with me and how my body adapted to the surgery. To elaborate, two thing happen to me when I'm horny. First, especially for a transwomen, I get reeeealy wet. Second, wich is the problem, the upper half of my 'interior' swells pretty big, to the point where it's in the way.

Do any of you also have similar problems and if so, what do you do to make sex possible?

Edit: I do have erectile tissue left but ohnastly, i like the feeling it gives. But I will definatly talk about it with my surgeon at my next cotrol appointment. And thanks for all the advice so soon after posting!😁

been out as trans again for like 9 months on hrt for 1 month
you deciding to be vegetarian made you trans
you're so ugly and disgusting no one would ever want to be your friend
your boobs look fake (i wear a push up bra)
the far right will come for you like in 1940s germany when they come to power so don't change your legal name
you're not a real women and never will be
are all your online friends real women or women with penises?
even if i had the knowledge i had now and went back in time to when you were 10 and asked for puberty blockers i still wouldn't have given them to you
you decided to be vegetarian change your name change your gender and not be catholic, why do you try so hard to be so different to us? (not one of my family members is religious in the slightest anymore, im not necessarily not religious either im neutral as they are)
everyone is secretly thinking you're some sexually deviant freak
i'm the only reason you're able to transition so be grateful (my mom is the reason)
among a few others that i've forgotten about because he said so many things
this is all completely unprompted btw

So I was at my grandparents place for the annual family reunion (on my dad’s side), and the first one where I’m on HRT. I have just came out of the closet 3-4 weeks ago, and have been going through a bit. Most of my mom’s side is mad at me that I didn’t tell them I was trans or wanted to be a woman years ago, and one of my sisters blocked me on Socials. And most recently before the party, I’ve been going through a spat with my grandma who says she’s accepting but really isn’t.

More context in my previous posts: https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/s/tQUWVw3b72

So at the party, it mostly sucked. I was forced to boymode (w/ long hair and noticeable boobs btw) in from of mostly old people, and I got reminded that I don’t like crowds. One of them saying crap like “they say men can get pregnant these days, lol” I CAN CLEARLY TELL MY GRANDPARENTS DIDNT TELL ANYBODY, and they were still misgendering me btw, despite that I’m out. I don’t think I’m ever doing this again

And honestly I would have deeply regretted going to this reunion if it weren’t for this kid. This little 10 yr old girl during the first few hours kept staring at me in a distance, but turning away when I looked. They were extremely shy. Eventually it started to bug me, so I approached them and introduced myself. Apparently we’re 2nd cousins! Before I knew it, they started REALLY being talkative and really opened themselves to me, especially after we exchange socials. Apparently they never open up to anyone like they do to me? Really??? They’re also autistic and an introvert like me, I KNEW IT!

Eventually, they dropped a bombshell I wasn’t expecting….they were trans too! “Technically a demiboy, but trans boy is fine. But keep it a secret, ok?” I was really thrown off cuz he was wearing a very feminine outfit, and I didn’t expect a kid that age to tell me that, ok? I also told him I was also trans but he snarkily responded “I already figured. You kinda look it, and your profiles say Nicole with she/her pronouns, I’m not dumb!!” (Explains the stares from earlier, lmao)

Anyway we ended up talking for hours about trans stuff, and our other interests more. Apparently only his parents and sister know, but his parents are forcing him to keep it a secret, making him girlmode everywhere. He says they’re accepting, but refuse to entertain puberty blockers. About two times, he started breaking down crying, once over “why is there so many religious people everywhere who hate trans people, why do they need so many churches” (we live in Texas) and second time over recently getting his periods in the past few months. He was also being affirming to me after I told him about my similar struggles. Honestly, he’s a really sweet kid who knows waaaaaay too much for his age. He literally was jumping for joy when he was leaving the reunion telling his parents “we got to come back every year from now on”. Complete change of mood since the beginning of the party for sure.

I’m still trying to process what the hell just happened, lmao. I had no idea who this kid was before, and now he looks up to me??? Dude was asking me a bunch of stuff I wouldn’t know or am trying to figure out myself, and kept telling him “I’m also relatively new to this” and im MTF, not the other way around ya know. The kid somewhat didn’t understand cuz “but you’re OLD, you’re like teacher age”. It’s a bit overwhelming, but also kind of cute. He certainly brightened my day. WOW, I’m not the only trans person in my family. Wow! Couldn’t be someone much closer to my age tho :/

Q: So what even is passing, as far as you're concerned?

A) People gender you correct in public ❌

B) You get unwanted male attention in public ❌

C) People use the right name/pronouns for you ❌

D) You're next in line at the single stall unisex bathroom at a bar you frequent off and on. The current occupant (a guy) opens up the door to leave and then spots you next in line. He then mumbles an apology as he bolts back into the stall to lower the toilet seat for you. ✅

I wasn't expecting this. I pee standing up. This was after a long shift when I'd decided to meet up for a few pints with friends on a Friday evening. Still find it hilarious...and to be honest a bit of a morale booster at times.

Doing some research online and the consensus seems to be that it is rare for trans women who started after 20 to reach tanner stage V in development. Is this true? It’s making me lose hope a little bit.