I (26F) met him (30M) back in 2022 in DC. Walking in Pisco y Nazca for our first date, I knew he was going to be special. We continued to date for another year. He was kind and gentle. He was driven and humble. Back then I was scared to fully dive in the relationship, thinking something so great could also hurt me very deeply in the end (yes, avoidant attachment). I loved him, but I could never fully tell him that.

It's been a few years since we lost contact. But for some reason I continued to wonder about him--what if bump into him at a party, what would I say? What if we coincidentally took the same flight, what would I do? All these thoughts bothered me so much. I did all I can to forget him, including a candle cord cutting (for my spiritual folks, iykyk) to break the bond even though I was not spiritual like that. Still, I dream about him at night, he's always in my thoughts. It always felt like we were bound to meet again and reconnect. I'm not that spiritual, but it felt like there was genuinely a bond I can't break (if you're spiritual and reading this, I'd love to know your thoughts about this).

Last month, I took a solo trip to Chicago. I took myself to dinner and had a few drinks (I've been sober since dating him after having realized alcohol made me miss him even more and was scared I would end up drunk texting/calling him). During my solo trip, I wanted to just lay it all out. No lies, no secrets. I wanted to run back to him, tell him everything I had failed to let him know. After a few years, I was finally ready to fully be vulnerable.

I texted him, no response. It was odd that the iMessage had turned green (it's either they changed number or blocked me).

A few weeks after, I was still feeling unsettled. It was a weird gut feeling. I felt the need to look him up on social media.

I came across his obituary.

March 2025, he passed away. Cancer.

I was too late. I didn't know he was sick.

Things I wish I told him, if only I had enough time:

I love you.
I miss you.
Thank you.
I want to see you, hold you.
I wish I was there.

So to my readers, my advice to you is to never hold yourself back from loving someone and letting them know. Love deeply, hurt deeply. Give it your all while you still have time. Loving is scary, but it's even more scary and deeply painful to find out you'll never bump into him amidst the crowd, coincidentally be on the same flight, or be able to yearn for a second chance thinking this time you're finally ready.

My ex and I ended things on a really bad note. I called him once after the breakup, but he humiliated me, talked badly about me, and eventually blocked me everywhere. After that, I never contacted him again and blocked him too.

Within a month, he got into a new relationship,they’re still together and constantly post each other on Instagram.

Its been 2 years, but over the past five months, I’ve received calls from his parents’ number three times. I suspect he might be using their phone to call me. I never answered. Once, I picked up by mistake, said “hello,” but there was no response.

I still haven’t contacted him or tried to find out why he’s calling.

Almost 4 month anniversary since my breakup (but near ish 2 months since no contact). I do not regret my last relationship at ALL- I think we were the right person for the right time. We were what each other needed at the moment, it doesn’t mean Forever. But…I’m so bitter now & I look at love very miserably. When I see PDA it’s such a eye roll like my immediate train of thought is “Yeah whatever, cherish your corny moments before you find out either one follows a bunch of people their attracted to on social media to parasocial degree, or flirts with their coworker etc etc”. So I’m very surprised that there’s people who run to find a new partner or crave all the love crap again without feeling like “Yesss, yes yes yes, Who else can flourish me with romantic memories just to replace me when they have me wrapped around their finger, Anyone?? Going ONCE 🤭 going twice!! 👀”. Please don’t get pissed off, I know I probably need therapy after my last relationship, I know that there’s people who are okay with their partners forgetting about little details all the time like not slamming the door in their partners face, walking way ahead of them, or wandering eyes- Yes I get it, everything I see in public is just a small glimpse into their wonderful relationship that’s Chill and Healthy

i cant let go because a part of me is still waiting for him and i feel so lost without him.

does anyone have tips on how to make this process easier?

she had already found someone else, is it just breadcrumbing?

I’m trying to understand a sudden change in behaviour from my ex — and I’d really appreciate some outside advice
I’m 38F and he’s 31M. He is my ex from 11 years ago. We had a very intense relationship when we were younger, and although we’ve never properly got back together, we’ve been in and out of each other’s lives over the years.
When we’re both single, we’ve often ended up back in contact. Sometimes he’s done odd jobs for me, fixed things for me, we’ve spent time together, I’ve cut his hair, he’s been round my house, etc. It’s always been a strange on/off dynamic. We’ve also had quite a few falling-outs over the years.
There’s another pattern that I think is relevant. When he would come back into my life, he could initially be extremely cold with me — very short replies, quite icy, almost as though he didn’t actually want to speak to me. I’d eventually get frustrated, we’d fall out, and I’d remove him from social media or tell him not to contact me again.
The last time this happened was November. I told him not to contact me again and removed him from social media. Then in January, he sent me a friend request and we started talking again.
Over the last few weeks, things had suddenly become much closer. We were talking pretty much every day, flirting, sending each other reels/memes, and he was initiating a lot of the contact. He’d been sending me things first thing in the morning several days in a row, sometimes double messaging, and generally seemed much more engaged and open than he normally is.
There have also been little things over the years that have stuck with me. For example, last year he privately sent me “Man I Need” by Olivia Dean via Snapchat. He didn’t add a caption or say anything, he just sent me the song. I know that might sound insignificant, but given our history, these little things sometimes feel meaningful to me.
There is also one important bit of context. My partner died by suicide in March, and I was the last person he spoke to. My ex already knew about it at the time and has checked in with me occasionally since. I genuinely had been doing okay for months.
A few days ago, though, I heard some new information from one of my late partner’s friends about something that had happened after his death. It unexpectedly brought everything back for a couple of days. I started looking through old messages from around March because my memory of that period is quite blurry and I was trying to piece things together and process what I’d heard.
I accidentally reacted to an old message from my ex while doing this, and he asked what I was doing. I explained that I’d heard some news, was having a couple of difficult days and had been looking back through old conversations.
He was sympathetic but quite brief. We then had a bit of normal banter afterwards.
The following day he didn’t interact with me at all. Nothing.
Then yesterday morning, I messaged him about something mundane and got no response. Later that afternoon I sent him a funny reel that has a shared history for us, and again got nothing. I could see he was active online several times, including late at night, but he still hadn’t opened/replied to either message.
So I’ve now had nothing from him since that exchange.
What’s confusing me is that this happened immediately after several weeks of him being much more engaged with me than usual.
I also heard about the idea of an “invisible string” last year, and sometimes I genuinely wonder whether that could apply to us. We’ve spent so many years drifting apart and somehow finding our way back into each other’s lives, usually when neither of us seems to have planned it. I don’t know whether that’s meaningful or whether I’m just romanticising our history.
And this is where I’m struggling: I don’t know what to do with this dynamic. Do I leave him completely alone today and see when/if he comes back to me? Or should I actually speak to him and try to find out what’s going on? I don’t want to chase him, but I also don’t want to accidentally make him retreat further by giving him too much space.
I’m not asking whether he definitely wants a relationship or whether he definitely doesn’t care. I’m trying to understand the sudden change in behaviour, especially given our history.
Could he have interpreted me looking through old messages and having a couple of difficult days as meaning I’m still emotionally unavailable, and pulled back because of that? Is this potentially him getting emotionally overwhelmed and retreating, given that he has done similar things with me before? Or am I reading far too much into it?

I’d really appreciate some honest outside opinions about what you think is happening here and, more importantly, what you think I should actually do.

I’m trying very hard not to overanalyse the shit out of it!! Truth is I’ve always wanted to be with him, I’m kicking myself that one accidental chat reaction had messed up the progress we’ve made.

It makes me sad that my most recent memories of us now are the breakup/ after. I randomly remember a certain funny moment we had while dating or a certain thing we’d do all the time and can’t believe I forgot it in the first place. And I’ve been single all this time, it makes me think how much more he had forgotten/ replaced memories w his new gf :/ and then I wonder how people ever get back together after so much time apart because you can’t pick up where you left off

Hey y’all,
I’m 22M. We were together for 3.5 years.

It’s been over a year since the break up. I’m much further along than I was at the start. The breakup still hurts, but it’s been long since it has been an impediment to any of the things I need to do on a daily basis like study or work.

I still think about her a lot. Usually when my mind isn’t occupied. At university or work, I can go many hours without thinking of her. Some days are easier than others.

I’m starting to see that no matter how bad the day gets, I’ll make it through the other side nonetheless and be okay.

I recently started playing a sport twice a week and that has helped me a lot mentally.

Getting back to why I’m writing this: I still catch myself feeling hurt by the breakup and specially the fact that she is no longer part of my life and never will. It’s insane to think that in just a few months, we would’ve been broken up for half of the time that we were together (which at the time felt like a whole life).

While the hurt is not as intense as it was at first, it’s still there and is persistent. For those that have gone through this, will I have this pain forever or will it subside one day?

I hurt my ex badly 4 years ago, and I regret it a lot. Lately, I have been thinking more and more that I should apologize to her.

We dated for over a year in high school. I won't include little details about the relationship but it was a very close high school relationship. Towards the end, the relationship started to get very wonky and I liked another girl that was in my class. I proceeded to essentially cheat on my girlfriend at the time and fucked up big time. I ended our 1+ year relationship over text and gave little to no reasoning. I remember she was asking to know why at least but I wouldn't say. A lot of people in our grade even to other schools later found out about this, and I'm sure she did too (she went to a different high school). I initially wanted to apologize during our graduation season, however I never built the courage up at that time. Two years later, I'm still beating myself up about not doing it then. I feel like I missed the "timing" and now it's too late or will be weird considering we are both in college. I still feel horrible on how I treated her during the relationship, and how I ended it. She did follow me on Instagram up to around graduation, and unfollowed me right before college started. I sincerely regret not apologizing and feel as if she was giving me a window to do so - but I missed it. I was too young and naive, I feel horrible about how I treated her and ended a year+ relationship out of thin air.

Is it too late for me to sincerely apologize to her? I don't expect her forgiveness or anything at all. I just want to apologize to her from the bottom of my heart.

tldr: i cheated on my 1+ relationship 4 years ago in high school, is it too late to say sorry now

I’ve posted on here before but I just feel so torn about how fast my ex has been able to move on. I’m 99% sure he’s talking to another girl and it’s been a little over a month since we broke up.

Is a month a reasonable time to begin moving on? Am I just hopelessly clinging onto the past? We did so much together physically and emotionally and now I don’t know how I’ll ever have that with another person.

Can any guys tell me their stories about the months after the breakup and what they were thinking during those
months? And can any girls who’ve went through the same thing give me some advice on how to start moving on? Thank you and sorry, I feel so lost without him because I truly felt like he was my person :(

I’m trying to understand a sudden change in behaviour from my ex — and I’d really appreciate some outside advice
I’m 38F and he’s 31M. He is my ex from 11 years ago. We had a very intense relationship when we were younger, and although we’ve never properly got back together, we’ve been in and out of each other’s lives over the years.
When we’re both single, we’ve often ended up back in contact. Sometimes he’s done odd jobs for me, fixed things for me, we’ve spent time together, I’ve cut his hair, he’s been round my house, etc. It’s always been a strange on/off dynamic. We’ve also had quite a few falling-outs over the years.
There’s another pattern that I think is relevant. When he would come back into my life, he could initially be extremely cold with me — very short replies, quite icy, almost as though he didn’t actually want to speak to me. I’d eventually get frustrated, we’d fall out, and I’d remove him from social media or tell him not to contact me again.
The last time this happened was November. I told him not to contact me again and removed him from social media. Then in January, he sent me a friend request and we started talking again.
Over the last few weeks, things had suddenly become much closer. We were talking pretty much every day, flirting, sending each other reels/memes, and he was initiating a lot of the contact. He’d been sending me things first thing in the morning several days in a row, sometimes double messaging, and generally seemed much more engaged and open than he normally is.
There have also been little things over the years that have stuck with me. For example, last year he privately sent me “Man I Need” by Olivia Dean via Snapchat. He didn’t add a caption or say anything, he just sent me the song. I know that might sound insignificant, but given our history, these little things sometimes feel meaningful to me.
There is also one important bit of context. My partner died by suicide in March, and I was the last person he spoke to. My ex already knew about it at the time and has checked in with me occasionally since. I genuinely had been doing okay for months.
A few days ago, though, I heard some new information from one of my late partner’s friends about something that had happened after his death. It unexpectedly brought everything back for a couple of days. I started looking through old messages from around March because my memory of that period is quite blurry and I was trying to piece things together and process what I’d heard.
I accidentally reacted to an old message from my ex while doing this, and he asked what I was doing. I explained that I’d heard some news, was having a couple of difficult days and had been looking back through old conversations.
He was sympathetic but quite brief. We then had a bit of normal banter afterwards.
The following day he didn’t interact with me at all. Nothing.
Then yesterday morning, I messaged him about something mundane and got no response. Later that afternoon I sent him a funny reel that has a shared history for us, and again got nothing. I could see he was active online several times, including late at night, but he still hadn’t opened/replied to either message.
So I’ve now had nothing from him since that exchange.
What’s confusing me is that this happened immediately after several weeks of him being much more engaged with me than usual.
I also heard about the idea of an “invisible string” last year, and sometimes I genuinely wonder whether that could apply to us. We’ve spent so many years drifting apart and somehow finding our way back into each other’s lives, usually when neither of us seems to have planned it. I don’t know whether that’s meaningful or whether I’m just romanticising our history.
And this is where I’m struggling: I don’t know what to do with this dynamic. Do I leave him completely alone today and see when/if he comes back to me? Or should I actually speak to him and try to find out what’s going on? I don’t want to chase him, but I also don’t want to accidentally make him retreat further by giving him too much space.
I’m not asking whether he definitely wants a relationship or whether he definitely doesn’t care. I’m trying to understand the sudden change in behaviour, especially given our history.
Could he have interpreted me looking through old messages and having a couple of difficult days as meaning I’m still emotionally unavailable, and pulled back because of that? Is this potentially him getting emotionally overwhelmed and retreating, given that he has done similar things with me before? Or am I reading far too much into it?

I’d really appreciate some honest outside opinions about what you think is happening here and, more importantly, what you think I should actually do.

I’m trying very hard not to overanalyse the shit out of it!! Truth is I’ve always wanted to be with him, I’m kicking myself that one accidental chat reaction seems to have messed up the progress we’ve made.

My ex (a FA) discarded me 6 months ago, only shortly before that promising me the world. we had an amazing relationship and he said he’d always loved me (we’ve known eachother since kids), saying he felt an insane pull towards me which I felt too. although the relationship only lasted 6 months it was intense and I felt things I hadn’t before, it felt like destiny.

nearing the end of the relationship I could see he was struggling mentally, making snall disagreements into big deals and excuses to leave so in his head he could justify finishing things. I could tell her was avoidant, we were 6 months in and around the time I was due to meet his children and I knew it was a big deal.
In his own words he said the amount he loves me scares him. Then my ex text (I had blocked his number before getting with John, but I didn’t realise you had to block on WhatsApp too (I’m not used to blocking people). anyway I showed ’John’ same day but didn’t want it to ruin our plans as it didn’t effect me I was just going to delete it and love on but felt that was deceptive so thought I’d tell him then delete and move on, he felt I should text back so I did to say I have a boyfriend don’t contact me again.

I could tell it really affected him and he ended it with me days later, which was devastating. I then found out he met someone else a couple of days before my birthday i was hysterical. I can’t explain the pain of seeing him hand in hand with some girl after what we shared, I still csnt even look at a guy let alone move on that quickly.

Long story short we went NC from Feb, i hadnt heard from him since, I decided to write a letter explaining my hurt and wishing him well in July, since then u noticed he ublocked me on WhatsApp, and started watching my stories.

I then found out hed Ended Things with her.

i thought id send a low stakes WhatsApp to say hey how are you? Then some logistical question about an item i still have as his. A week later he blocks me, no reply. I notice he stops watching me on socials too after obsessively doing so for 2 months, but I have noticed a burner.

my question is, do you think ive tried everything? I cant stop thinking about him but equally i cant stay here anymore in our small hometown if he’ll never reach out. So, should I call him as one last itch attempt? I am going to immigrate otherwise in the next 2 months and once I’m gone thats it.

help!

As the title says. I know that sounds dramatic, but it literally physically hurts not to reach for my phone and text him.

About 10 days ago I finally blew up and told him that I needed to be treated better, otherwise I was going to walk away. He said everything had become too much for him and asked for some space (classic 🥲) So we agreed to go no contact for now and potentially reconnect once I’m back, because a few days after the conversation I had a flight to return to my home country. I go there for work - i will be here for at least a few months, possibly up to a year, and then plan to be back to his country.

Two days after the conversation, he was actually the first one to reach out. He sent me some news involving both of our countries because it could directly affect me and said he thought of me when he heard about it.

I was posting things from home to my Close Friends on Instagram, and he liked one of my stories. The problem is that after that I started checking every time I posted to see whether he had watched or liked anything. I realised it was making me spiral, so I removed him from Close Friends.

But for the past two days I’ve been also struggling SO much not to text him. I want to ask how his exam went, how his project at work turned out, how he’s doing in general. I miss talking to him so much. But I know that if I break no contact now, I’ll probably just fall straight back into the same dynamic which I don’t want, we tried it so many times and the result was always the same.

I also think part of me is still holding onto this slightly delusional hope that the distance might somehow help. We now literally have a physical border between us, and he said he wanted to use this break to focus on himself, so part of me keeps thinking, “maybe things really could be different when I come back.” At the same time, I absolutely do not want to spend the next few months living my life around the hope that he’ll be ready for me when I return.

My ex (37M) and I (30F) were together for 12 years.
I haven’t talked to him in a month. I know a month probably doesn’t sound like that long, but after talking to someone basically every day for 12 years, it feels unbearable.
I know we both hurt each other. I know too much happened and maybe there really is no coming back from it. I know all of that. But knowing it doesn’t make me miss him any less.
I hate that never talking to me again is the first promise he’s actually kept. I’m trying to heal and move on, but I honestly don’t know how. He was such a huge part of my life for so long that everything still reminds me of him.
I still think of things I want to tell him. I still reach for my phone sometimes without thinking. Something funny happens and I want to send it to him. Something bad happens and I want to call him.
And then I remember I can’t.
I don’t even know why part of me still wants the relationship back. I know it was broken. I know we hurt each other. But there’s still this part of me that wants him to choose me.
Maybe I just want to feel like the last 12 years meant enough for him to fight for us. Or maybe I’m just trying to convince myself that all this pain has to mean something.
More than anything, I miss my best friend.
That’s what hurts the most. I didn’t just lose my boyfriend. I lost the person I grew up with. The person I told everything to. The person I would normally talk to when I felt this bad.
And now I’m supposed to somehow grieve him without him.
It’s been a month and I still feel completely broken. I keep wondering if my heart is ever going to feel normal again.
And I hate admitting this, but part of me keeps thinking he probably doesn’t miss me the way I miss him.
For anyone who got out of a really long relationship, how did you get through this part? Does it actually get easier?

This may seem odd, but the reason why your breakup probably happened was probably because of the value you thought would lead to relationship fulfillment. It's because you aimed for happiness as your primary goal for your relationship with your ex.

 The reason why happiness isn't an ideal goal is for these reasons:

 1)Feelings change

Feelings change because of many external factors, like finances, mental health, kids, identity crisis, etc., When life happens and pressures occur, much of our energy is redirected to these issues, causing the spark to collapse momentarily. Ending a relationship because of a "loss of feelings" is a generally a poor reason to breakup because once issues are alleviated or when unfamiliarity breeds, the romantic spark comes back.

 2)It causes cheating

Whenever someone starts feeling the pressures of life, it results in a loss of passion and intimacy for their partner. Because many people suck at coping without their partner's attraction and being content with themselves, they attempt to outsource the dopamine hit elsewhere with an affair partner. The reason for the cheating was because they only saw relationships in terms of its satisfaction. They care little about attending to the hardships associated with relationships and are only there for the comfort.

 3)Hardships are seen as obstacles instead as opportunities

The true purpose of a relationship is to enhance emotional development, not happiness or relationship intimacy alone. When someone enters relationships for entertainment and social pressures, they only cling to the comfort given from their partner. As soon as a partner starts facing issues, energy is wasted in pointless arguments under this mindset. Unrealistic standards are almost always associated with a goal for relationship satisfaction. Seeing relationship downs as a opportunity for emotional growth gives partners desire to work through problems and come back stronger. It also grants better communication and transcendence of ego.

Por que una persona con quien tuve un vínculo confuso (hombre) de idas y vueltas (desde los 15 hasta los 18) con quien la verdad termine mal en su momento (hace 5 años) de repente me bloquea habiendo pasado literalmente años con el contacto cero?
Ahora tenemos 23 años y sabe desde cuando me tiene bloqueada pero sé que fue recién, cabe destacar que nunca lo molesté ni tuve contacto con el después de lo que pasó

When l was young and silly, l had a puppy love girlfriend who l touched lips with once. She later introduced me to one of her friend with whom l hit it off, because l thought the first gf didn't see me as an option.

I happen to connect/see the first ex decades later and got into a long discussion in which she stated that she really wanted to date me and didn't intend for me to date the other girl. I still don't understand, because she kept her distance afterwards. She since had three kids, but is still mad at me.

Yesterday it was my birthday I really really hoped she will wish me but she did not today few mins ago I texted her

Me did you really forgot

She I know yesterday was your birthday

Why would I wish you

Me yes why would you

Bye

I reached a point where I thought, “I'd rather know the truth than keep living with hope.” So I called my avoidant ex and asked him directly if he was dating someone.He said yes.

Apparently, he's been talking to her since after we broke up. And we broke up recently. I don't completely believe the timeline because, deep down, I had always had this gut feeling that something was happening during his training.Maybe my gut was right. Ladies, please don't ignore your gut.

He says they've only been officially together for a few days, but they've apparently been talking way before he didnt specify when.Then he started telling me things I honestly didn't need to know.He said he couldn't take his eyes off her the entire day. She made him blush. When I went quiet, he said, “You also used to make me feel that way in the beginning.”I don't know why he said that. It didn't comfort me.

He pointed out that she's shorter than him and even with heels she's still shorter. I don't know why that detail stuck with me, but it did. I'm literally 5'4 ,i myself is not that tall.Whenever he felt insecure about it, I reassured him because I genuinely didn't care.

He also told me they're in a ldr.The exact thing he broke up with me for.He told me he couldn't do ldr with me, yet this girl apparently lives even farther away.He told me that when she was leaving to go home, he cried.And then he said he loves her so much.I felt physically sick hearing that.

This is the same person who spent four years with me. The same person I begged to understand me. The same person I kept trying to be “good enough” for.Now treating her so well.

But then the conversation became confusing.He said he still misses me sometimes.At one point he said that maybe if I had told him earlier that I hadn't moved on, he might have had a different opinion about the situation.He said he's still surrounded by the things I gave him.Then he asked me, “If we got back together, would things be the same?”And I don't know what to make of any of it.

He said he likes peace. He said this girl doesn't argue with him.And I used to argue with him a lot.But he conveniently forgets why.In the beginning, I wasn't constantly arguing either. Then he started following and being interested in different girls, liking sexual/n*de pictures on Instagram, creating fake accounts to follow girls, and doing things that destroyed my trust.Who wouldn't get angry about that?
He left me alone on the streets during fights—not once, but three times.He broke up with me over fights with his friend even when I hadn't done anything.I was hurt. I became insecure. I became someone who constantly questioned things because I didn't feel safe in the relationship.And now he tells me that I was the problem because I couldn't trust him.He told me that I knew him “too much” and that was part of the problem.Of course I knew him too much.We were together for four years. And frnds from childhood . i know how he is and all the things he did gd or bad.

Then he told me that i came to his explore page multiple times that he saw my videos that im posting thirst trap (im not). That i posting pics like traps (am not) . its just normal photos with full clothing i donno what he means. i told him doesnt matter if i look gd in those pics . He said i do look good.

And that's what makes this entire conversation so confusing.At times he sounded like someone who still had feelings for me.At other times he sounded completely in love with someone else.Maybe I'm delusional.He called me multiple times even after I told him I needed space between the calls.

During one of the calls, he even said, “do you want us back?”I told him maybe his mother wouldn't approve.He said no, his mother would. He said she liked me a lot.So why say all these things?Why ask whether things would be the same if we got back together?Why tell me you still miss me?Why tell me I should have told you earlier that I hadn't moved on?I don't know.Maybe it means nothing.

Then somehow the conversation shifted to one of his friends.This friend was introduced to me by my ex for studies, and he's genuinely been helping me. He's incredibly focused and talented. He got around 20 marks away from an All country Rank, and I told my ex how inspiring I find him.I said I want to become like him. I really look up to his dedication.

Suddenly my ex started saying,"He is broke tho","that he borrowed money from me because he couldnt pay for his tution but he paid that after" and  “So what? I was only 15 marks away from an All India Rank too.” that was so odd.Then he started talking about how he broke up with his own previous girlfriend because he wanted to focus on his studies and didn't have time.

Then I started talking about my own future. I said I want to focus on my career now. I have goals. I don't want traditional relationship roles. I want to build something for myself.And he basically told me I was thinking too far ahead because I hadn't even passed my exam yet.That hurt.What's wrong with being hopeful?What's wrong with having a target?I know I haven't achieved it yet. That's exactly why I'm working toward it.

Then he said maybe someday I'll find my match.I told him I'm hopeful. I told him someday I'll love someone more than I loved him. I'll give that person all the care and kindness I gave him.And instead of just letting the conversation end there, he kept saying things.Then he said maybe I'll find someone who treats me better.But I won't find someone more good-looking than him.Apparently his friends of his girlfriend have told him how handsome he is and how good he'll be for his girlfriend.Again, I just said, “That's great for you.” But Why compare? so odd.Why make sure I know that another girl is prettier than me and that he's apparently so desirable?

Maybe he wasn't even trying to hurt me.Maybe I'm just interpreting everything through the pain I'm in.

After the third call, I finally told him the truth.I told him he treated me badly throughout those four years.He treated me like shit.I told him that maybe this breakup really is better for both of us.I wished him happiness.I told him I hope he treats his girlfriend well.

And then I hung up.I blocked him everywhere.Because even though I'm hurting more than I can explain, I don't want to disturb someone who has supposedly moved on.Maybe this is what I needed.Maybe hearing him say all of this will finally kill the last bit of hope I was holding onto.

But I woke up today with a heavy heart. No appetite.That horrible feeling in my chest.
I blocked him.I'm going to try to stay gone this time.I just hope my heart catches up with what my brain already knows.

I (18M) broke up with my girlfriend (18F) of 1.5 years around 3 months back. She cheated on me through texts w randos on discord but I wasn't surprised cause I had already found out about this same thing and confronted her a few months prior and her first response was "leave me" and trust me I shouldve. I stayed cause I couldnt handle the thought of losing her

The second time this happened I had to break up because I knew I should hold my self respect higher than my feelings for her. I had a panic attack at first but I brought my shit together and got through the first few days with the help of my friends.

After the breakup she said she didnt want to lose our friendship and being the idiot iam, we talked for around a month after the breakup before I finally blocked her on everything and went no contact without saying anything because I realised finally she just wanted to keep my around for the attention I gave while still talking with other guys.

Soon enough we moved to different states because our college started. But now after three months im getting these nightmares which wake me up at 2 and 4. Last week a mutual best friend we have told me that my gf told her shes attracted to someone in her class and he might like her back too. The night before this I had a nightmare that she got a new boyfriend and everything.

A week later im dreaming about the same things and I dont think its getting any better, im trying to live with myself and focusing on myself. But I dont think its gonna get any better. What scares me is that I think a part of me would still get back with her if she came running back saying that she changed. I still hate her for the things she did to me and ill never forgive her for it but i still question myself

Her best friend is probably the best thing that happened to me during and after the relationship, it was a friendship I didnt know I needed. She even sided with me when all this happened. she's an understanding person, really trust worthy and just too good at giving advices but even this I dont feel like I can talk about with anyone.

2 weeks now since our breakup. He hasn't even texted a single "how are you" asking if im okay. He only texted last week because we briefly passed by each other in the city center.

It sucks when someone who meant so much shows how little I mean to them