Damn... I'm getting my step into 40's next year....

It was Paul kalanithies when breath becomes air, and that book i think has changed me for good , I've completed 7 books till now and I'm looking forward to increase my knowledge and understanding even more, never thought reading was that much better than doomscrolling for hours , i now actually enjoy it! And journals too I've started keeping a journal!

I hated my given name since probably the first time people started actively calling me that. Even moreso, the way it is being colloquially shortened made me die inside every single time.

The basic first time introduction and the answer to the very first question is already something that makes you uncomfortable, want to lower your gaze and run away in shame, not continue. The name is fairly popular in my location, barely anyone who's called the same had any problems with that. I do. I so very much do.

Therefore, I wanted to change it for a very long time, since when I got aware it is possible to do so. However, of course, the obstacles were plenty:

1. Until 18 I was a minor, and you can only request changes once you become a legal adult. You have to cope with your given name until that.

2. Then, I was unable to decide what the choosen name should be. The possibilities are endless and I got stuck in analysis paralysis.

3. Then when I almost decided to go for it, many random people started trying to convince me not to do it. Not sure why. None of their business. But it did sow doubts so I postponed the move.

4. Then I moved abroad, and it further complicated things. Made the legal flow so lengthy and tedious, causing conflicts between the records in the host country, and country of origin, transliteration issues, all of that headache you'd rather just not deal with.

5. And only now, eventually, at the age of 30, once I got to the country of origin for a few years for some reasons and the change to "reboot" life appeared, I finally requested the papers, waited through the police and tax office checks, and GOT THE NEW DOCUMENTS ISSUED.

The dead name is hopefully now gone. However, it will stay in records somewhere and minds of some people anyway, unfortunately. Besides that, I am now Martin!

Silly but it matters so much to me. I can finally fucking introduce myself openly and proudly and not experience a suppressed micro-cringe every single time.

Wow.

So today was my first day at my brand new college and even though I was nervous I managed to survive. I also met a new friend called Amy and she is 36 years old (I know, even I didn't believe it until she told me) and she was honestly really nice to talk to especially for the first day, and I know within a few weeks time we are going to be honest extremely close as it goes along.

I cleaned out my garage/basement:

-Donated 2 large black contractor bags of sweatshirts & jackets

-Posted 21 items, including a lot of furniture, on Facebook marketplace (with the plan of donating anything not sold on the next long weekend)

-Parred down our baby items and kids toys to what we actually will/do use

-organized all toys by category into cubs organizers to change out the toys upstairs weekly

-Set up an decent Lego space for my husband so my kids can’t get into it

-threw out 3 trash bags of broken items or items that can’t be passed down

At the same time, I needed to free up 2 cube organizers from upstairs so I:

-parred down our linens and made a linen closet

-organized all of the dog items into an unused dresser downstairs

-parred down our socks to make room in our dresser for my hair/skin/nail care items

-created a first aid station

-threw out 2 trash bags of unusable items

-secured all medications (including over the counter) in a place children can’t reach

I also finished 4 small projects around the house with items found in the basement, got rid of a couch our dogs ripped up, and found a free bed for the dogs. I took any books I’ve read and filled 3 little free libraries.

I’ve been out of work since April 2026. I am so nervous about starting over in a new industry. I used to work in municipal government. Now I’m moving into a small private physiotherapy clinic for a better work life balance. Wish me luck!

I didn't grow up with a father figure and my mom wasn't mechanically inclined at all, no one taught me basic skills to work on or fix vehicles, especially "newer" ones.

I watched a video yesterday after finding a leak on my radiator and I pulled everything and did it all by myself. I know this is dumb, but it's big for me as someone who can barely manage simple tasks as is lol

My first job out of college wasn’t quite what I thought it would be, and while I’m grateful for the experience in the industry, I’m just tired of it. It’s a ton of driving and after the accident I was in (car hit me while I was stopped at a red light), I always feel anxious and unsafe. I’m alone 5-7 hours a day on the road, driving 150-250 miles each day (my record is 370). The work is underpaid and thankless. They weren’t entirely honest about what the job entails prior to my accepting, it’s so much grosser than what I was expecting. I wish I could say more but I don’t want to be too specific. It’s been quite an interesting experience but I’m eager to continue elsewhere.

A local organization I’ve wanted to work for for years has an entry-level position open. I sent my resume email to their hiring manager this morning. Their starting pay is $3.50 more per hour than my current job’s starting pay. If I get the job, after a while I’d be eligible for raises and I could potentially quit my second job I currently need to pay bills. I’ve been practicing interview questions all day just in case. I’m very excited about what the future could potentially hold, the possibilities started with a single click of my mouse on that “send” button.

wanted to share an experience i am proud of. i am so used to trying to be “normal” and i told myself this month i’m going to just act how i please (without hurting anyone), just do what i naturally want to do.

i am 23, i went back to my uni city to meet up with friends from uni, we stayed round a friends house who lives there. it was fun, we went clubbing and i threw up in the club. a friend had to take me home, then she went back out.

in the morning i woke up early as always, i was sharing a bed with the girl who had to take me home. my first thought waking up was, oh goodness okay what do people do when they wake up after being sick in the club?

that was my first thought. i continued to pretend to be asleep as i thought about it, should i wake up and continue to ill, to show that i really was very sick last night, or should i sleep in again to show i was sick. the thing is i actually felt fine, just a bit tired. i always have a lot of energy in general especially in the morning.

but i thought, no i can show i have energy, i was sick in the club last night everyone will be confused or think i was faking. i’ll stay in bed for a couple hours pretend to be asleep hopefully actually fall asleep. after 5 minutes i looked for my phone to scroll (my bedmate was still asleep). i realised my phone was on the floor.

i thought crap i have to break the illusion by getting up and getting my phone and then getting my charger from downstairs ughh it’s ruined.

then i thought, actually, f that. what do I want to do (something i NEVER think). and what i wanted to do actually was wake up, get my phone, shower and scroll on my phone in bed. so i did exactly that. when my bedmate woke up, i thought “what would someone say to the person who had to drag them home from being too drunk”, but then i thought, again F it, what do i actually want to say. what i wanted to say was “i’m so sorry about last night, thank you for bringing me home, i hope you didn’t miss too much. how much was your taxi, let me transfer you”. and so i said it! it felt like such a mountainous thing to just say what i actually wanted without thinking about it first, but i did it, and it was such a relief not having to pretend.

i am really trying to get better at being authentic, less scared to be myself or be wrong and look like not normal or a weirdo (got that a lot growing up). but i’m blessed to have the friends i have and if they think i’m a weirdo then that’s fine, because that’s who i really am and i’m tired of pretending.

the bedmate told me she went back after she dropped me, but she wished she had just stayed home, because her dancing partner was gone and she missed me. this again freaked me out a bit, what do i say? her telling me she missed me, my first thought was “why would you tell me that”. i of course miss people lots, but i would never tell them, i feel like i’m clinging or being too much or obviously like them more than they like me, so i would never say it. but she said it, multiple times throughout the rest of the day, that after i was gone, she was bored and she missed me. so causally, with such ease, like it was so normal so say (i know it is)

this whole thing has made me, on top of the month of just acting as i please, to try and have a month without being controlled by shame. i’m going to tell people how i feel. if i was the bedmate in this situation, i wouldn’t have said i missed them, out of fear of looking obsessed, especially not multiple times. but i didn’t think she was obsessed! i thought wow, she missed me. that’s all. i also thought wow she’s brave to just say how she feels like that.

she doesn’t know, but she has really really inspired me. please don’t call me stupid for all of this, i’m sure people realise these things years and years earlier in their life, i’m just glad i’m doing it now. a couple years ago i even had a “be normal challenge” that i’d say to myself after i’d do something weird. “OP be normal challenge”, it became an inside joke with friends.

to a month of saying/doing how i feel and not being controlled by shame (luckily i am naturally kind and nice to people, so i’m not worrying about just saying/doing horrible things, i would never do that)! such a small little morning with friends, but i genuinely feel liberated

A smoke detector in my house had been doing that random little chirp for like 3 days and it was driving me insane. I changed the battery. Still chirped. Changed another battery because apparently I no longer trusted myself. Still chirped. Finally realized it wasnt even that detector. It was the one in the hallway like 15 feet away and the sound was bouncing around enough to make me feel stupid. Changed that battery and finally got silence. I stood there for like a full minute just waiting for another chirp that never came. Then I walked past it like 5 more times just to enjoy the silence. Stupid little win but I’m ridiculously happy about it.

I did it, mom.

This month marks 1 year since I’ve been living above board with a truly honest living with aspirations to become a social worker with the completion of a master’s program.

It’s been 1 year since I tossed every means I used to do my work in the bin. I have one phone, 1 school and 1 personal email. No burners, no fake ID’s, nothing. It’s all gone.

I show up early to every day to work with a thermos filled with ice cold Coke Zero, ready to get it on.

I don’t have friends anymore, but I’m okay. I’m looking over my shoulder less, and the nightmares have stopped. I’m okay with being alone. I prefer it actually.

While I know making money honestly isn’t a milestone or was a hard choice for most people, but it really was for me.

I felt naked whenever I tried to leave. I’d be disappointed in myself when I didn’t. I’d tell myself I would go straight to only tell myself a few more months of work and then I’ll quit.

No longer.

Sometimes life feels unsteady and foreign if I dwell on everything. But I did it. I finally did it and I’ve been doing it for a whole year now. I’m sorry for disappointing you but I’m going to do everything I can to be a son you can be proud of. I promise.

Instead of using my small weight collection or staying inside all winter I got a ymca membership. Today I hit all the major muscle groups and I ate a vegan high protein meal afterwards.

Tomorrow I plan on swimming for the first time in years.

Ran out of excuses last May and started training for a half marathon. This morning I ran longer than I have ever run, 7.5 miles, and nobody is home to help celebrate!

I have put off a pelvic ultrasound for a year because of past sexual assault with a female doctor.

I was able to find a kind man to do the ultrasound who was fine if I didn't have a chaperone in the room with me. I just couldn't have a woman in the room as it is too distressing. I felt safe with the man doing the ultrasound as well.

I do feel a bit emotional afterwards. I do miss the days when I didn't have to process trauma etc, but I'm proud of myself for finally having the scan.

I know it's only September, but I'm genuinely shocked by this. I make resolutions every single year but never took them seriously. This year I said I'd work out three times a week. Nothing intense, just regular workout instead of lying on the couch telling myself I'll start Monday.

There were definitely days when I skipped it. I remember sitting in my car in the gym parking lot for like ten minutes genuinely considering just going home. I did go home that day actually. But I went back two days later and I don't know, something just didn't stop.

And somehow, here we are in September and I'm still doing it. I've missed weeks here and there, I'm not going to pretend I'm some different person. But I keep coming back to it and that's never happened before.

I'm not the person who is consistent in anything. But right now I'm feeling good about myself.

my room is finally clean after months with help from my mom. it’s nice seeing it this way before i leave for college soon :)

For the longest time I'd start books with good intentions and never make it past the first few chapters. Today I finished one from cover to cover, and it reminded me how satisfying that feels.

For me, probably finally being able to do a proper push-up. It’s such a tiny thing that nobody around me really cared, but I remember getting the first clean one and thinking, “WAIT, I CAN ACTUALLY DO THIS?” 😭

I've been real inconsistent so it took a solid 6 months, but I did it! 🎉 Now onto the sequel that's about the same length lol

Hey all!

So my kid is 9, a bit of a picky eater and she had been feeling a bit dizzy recently. Her GP ordered blood tests to rule out low iron or vitamin deficiencies etc. I was a bit worried because she doesn't always eat great. But they all came back normal and I feel like this is a huge parenting win at the moment.

Unfortunately for her it looks like she has inherited Vertigo but at least the rest of her is ok!