r/CongratsLikeImFive • u/xui_nya • 4h ago

Made a great change in my life Changed my legal name!

I hated my given name since probably the first time people started actively calling me that. Even moreso, the way it is being colloquially shortened made me die inside every single time.

The basic first time introduction and the answer to the very first question is already something that makes you uncomfortable, want to lower your gaze and run away in shame, not continue. The name is fairly popular in my location, barely anyone who's called the same had any problems with that. I do. I so very much do.

Therefore, I wanted to change it for a very long time, since when I got aware it is possible to do so. However, of course, the obstacles were plenty:

  1. Until 18 I was a minor, and you can only request changes once you become a legal adult. You have to cope with your given name until that.

  2. Then, I was unable to decide what the choosen name should be. The possibilities are endless and I got stuck in analysis paralysis.

  3. Then when I almost decided to go for it, many random people started trying to convince me not to do it. Not sure why. None of their business. But it did sow doubts so I postponed the move.

  4. Then I moved abroad, and it further complicated things. Made the legal flow so lengthy and tedious, causing conflicts between the records in the host country, and country of origin, transliteration issues, all of that headache you'd rather just not deal with.

  5. And only now, eventually, at the age of 30, once I got to the country of origin for a few years for some reasons and the change to "reboot" life appeared, I finally requested the papers, waited through the police and tax office checks, and GOT THE NEW DOCUMENTS ISSUED.

The dead name is hopefully now gone. However, it will stay in records somewhere and minds of some people anyway, unfortunately. Besides that, I am now Martin!

Silly but it matters so much to me. I can finally fucking introduce myself openly and proudly and not experience a suppressed micro-cringe every single time.

Wow.

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7 comments sorted by

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u/starfleetbrat 4h ago

A lot of people believe names have power, so choosing one that fits you and makes you feel happy and confident is important. I'm so glad you took the step to legally do that. Congrats on your new name!

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u/xui_nya 3h ago

I still find it odd that the norm is someone else choosing the "tag" you carry your whole life and not you consciously. Should be other way around, it feels like.

We choose our clothes, our cars, watches, smartphones, how to decorate our homes. But not the single most important thing. Weird.

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u/EthosUnharvestedClay Good little person 3h ago

This is huge! Good on you, it must feel so refreshing to be able to introduce yourself how you want. Congrats, Martin! :)

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u/xui_nya 1h ago

Thank you!

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u/Empty-Ad5538 36m ago

The part about random people trying to convince you not to do it is weird. I mean it's your name, your introduction. Congrats on sticking to your decision.

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u/xui_nya 6m ago

Just a few months ago, on a corporate party event last time I heard a slipping remark like

Why? [The dead name] is awesome!

oblivious grin

I be like bruh. No funny.