r/PoursTea 16h ago

PoliticalTea 🗳️ That stink must be unbearable

😂

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u/Potential-Win8706 15h ago edited 15h ago

Hundreds of stories from when he was a coke fiend in the 80s, leading to his incontinence since the 90s. FOR YEARS, the restaurants all over the city, have had to comp their other customer’s meals, stemming from the complaints of having to withstand the full on rear assault of Trump and his magic bowels.

u/WorkingAnteater6036 15h ago

Wait really?!!! 😳

u/86the47th 15h ago

It’s absolutely pathetic that Trump has killed satire. I don’t know if this is true either. I hope it’s not, but like most things with Trump, it probably is.

u/dsmith422 14h ago

There is a stand up comic (Noel Casler) who worked as an assistant on The Apprentice and The Celebrity Apprentice. He tells jokes/stories about Trump from his time working on the show. And the constant Trump shitting of his pants and having to get a diaper change is one of the stories. Trump is extraordinarily litigious, so he could sue the guy and get him to stop. But he doesn't because truth is an affirmative defense against slander.

https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/1omita8/casler_on_trumps_personal_hygiene_trump_shits/

u/Killzillah 11h ago

Discovery for a lawsuit regarding whether he is incontinence or not would be epic.

u/thisjawnisbeta 13h ago

And Trump has never sued him either.

u/Chromlech 11h ago

Yes they said that

u/ArnoldTheSchwartz 9h ago

Yeah and Trump has never sued him either

u/TheRealCBlazer 4h ago

But why male models?

u/Travis_Rust 1h ago

Yeah but have you considered that, in fact, Trump did NOT sue him?

u/Chromlech 9h ago

Yeah and trump never sued me either

u/dkg224 6h ago

Same reason he doesn’t sue people who call him a pedophile

u/hippydippyshit 3h ago

He’s never sued anyone for calling him a pedophile either 💁🏼‍♀️

u/Trix_Are_4_90Kids 10h ago

When President StinkButt goes to Fox News they have him sit on a black tarp.

u/Shneckos 3h ago

I just went down a rabbit hole of Trump shitting himself on YouTube, thanks

u/RedditIsMyTherapist 14h ago

It's true! I said this above but... There was an in depth discussion about it from one of the sound guys on the set of the Apprentice. They called it a "code brown". He was always taking amphetamines, which famously can lend to incontinence of the bowls, and they would have to pause shoots for clean up and then pretend nothing happened because he's a "star".

u/whostolemysloth 13h ago

I’m on Adderall (plus copious amount of caffeine), I have IBS, and I’ve had my gallbladder removed. I have pooped my pants exactly 0 times lol.

u/jaredsfootlonghole 13h ago

I have pooped my pants exactly 0 times lol.

You don’t have to lie to kick it with us.  We all shat ourselves as babies/toddlers.

Joke aside, you’ve got medically recommended medications.  Do you think his are as well?

u/whostolemysloth 13h ago

I meant to add that caveat, you’re correct haha.

I’d assume he’s got the best available medications.
I’ve got a combo of an OTC PPI (lower acid), fiber intake (solidifying), and medical marijuana (anti-spasmodic). Works really well.

But…maybe he doesn’t have any friends to tell him that his booty is a disaster area.

u/LeWigre 11h ago

Also, and I'm just going out on a limb here.. you're probably not 80?

u/whostolemysloth 11h ago

This is true.

But I hope my butt exercises will carry me through the latter half of my existence with grace.

u/Sandee1997 12h ago

Hell I’ve shat myself as an adult. When i started metformin for diabetes, it gave me uncontrollable diarrhea and i shat myself on a bus

u/BoredPoopless 10h ago

Look at you guys and your legitimate reasons.

I on the other hand misjudged a fart.

u/Message_10 6h ago

"Life's a poker table, boys. Sometimes you gamble on a fart... and lose"

u/fotomoose 23m ago

Yeah we were all toddlers last time we shat ourselves right guys? Guys?

u/BarrelllRider 9h ago

Yea I’ve abused the hell out of amph’s and never heard nor experienced this

u/Top-Average412 12h ago

Watch out for this badass and his magic bowels!

u/whostolemysloth 12h ago

Behold my sphincter control! Pay no attention to the obvious clenching and the sweat coming off me!

u/TahiniInMyVeins 11h ago

But how many times has Trump pooped your pants 

u/whostolemysloth 11h ago

Oh jeez I don’t think he’s a guy I’d want near my pants. I’m a 36 y/o straight guy, though, so I’m way out of his age range and gender preference.

u/erhue 10h ago

well lucky you! I take prescription amphetamines too, and they absolutely make me do an emergency bathroom visit less than 30 mins after taking them. Also much more regular peeing. And my armpits sweat like crazy throughout the day.

Not everyone feels side effects, but the shitting yourself part is true for many

u/whostolemysloth 10h ago

The sweat and the peeing are there. And the emergency restroom response is in effect, but I have no shame haha.

u/fredsify 10h ago

If I take my full dose of vyvanse and coffee you can be sure I'll shotgun splatter that porcelain throne.. but I have yet to shit myself.

u/whostolemysloth 10h ago

Same same, to the point where I’ve started to dislike the solid ones (especially since the gallbladder removal). Got a vitamin regimen, always stay hydrated, got a bidet…no worries so far lol.

u/fredsify 9h ago

I had to start SunFiber and Glutamine to normalize.. now it's like I dont even take the meds!

u/SPACE_ICE 10h ago

if you follow a prescription you're very unlikely to have these issues, take them like your a failing college student the night before finals everyday for decades however...

u/Chomping_at_the_beet 9h ago

You are using them, he was abusing them, there is a difference

u/flummox1234 2h ago

I have IBS ... I have pooped my pants exactly 0 times lol.

Liar! /s

u/RedditIsMyTherapist 13h ago

I'm sure you take the appropriate amount of baby meth. Not that same as the handfuls this guy is probably taking.

u/whostolemysloth 13h ago

That is true. I get really cranky if I have too much. Maybe that’s part of his deal, now that I think about it. I always found the caffeine effect to be worse than other stimulants anyway.

u/-fno-stack-protector 11h ago

it's a dosage thing. he's sipping pills from the bottle like a morning coffee

u/whostolemysloth 11h ago

Well, then dude needs to pick up a modafinil habit or an added snow habit instead. Doesn’t seem like the addies are doing any part of their job.

u/erhue 10h ago

well the insane AI posting binge he went on yesterday proves that he probably shouldnt take modafinil either

u/whostolemysloth 10h ago

I try my very best to ignore him, but you’re probably right.

u/Mountain_StarDew 12h ago

I thought the true reason for his incontinence was that one of his Epstein victims shoved a tent pole up his ass hard, causing irreparable damage.

Not satire.

u/AttakZak 11h ago

Ding ding ding. This is the true story. Weird I had to dig for it.

u/macnchz69_247 12h ago

Sauce? That's wild

u/Mountain_StarDew 12h ago

Looking back, it was Sascha Riley that claimed he was the one that kicked the tent pole while he was being trafficked but I guess none of it is verified.

u/elchemy 1h ago

Trump has never sued so …

u/Potential-Win8706 14h ago

If you can believe the stories that came out of the Apprentice …

u/C3POB1KENOBI 12h ago

Poe’s law is working overtime these days

u/T4TrhavrKhcFt 9h ago

The line between reality and satire is now a circle.