Just for clarity's sake for anyone reading this, they mean "If you sleep with a girl when she says she is drunk you may end up in jail, and therefore this is bad advice"
and not
"if you dont follow this advice you will end up in jail"
Merely being drunk is not enough to get someone thrown in jail. They have to be incredibly drunk. If they can walk without stumbling and give clear enthusiastic consent there is not a single state in the US where you are going to jail.
A girl I had just started dating said this and I took her wobbly ass to my room to go to bed. She fell asleep almost instantly.
The next morning she said "I thought you were going to come in and take advantage of me."
Instead of thanking me, she said she wanted me to. I told her "well you should have just said it but since you fell asleep so fast, I just left you alone."
I could have gotten laid but I didn't regret it (for too long) because it could have gone south really quickly the next morning if she wanted it to. I still don't trust women to this day because you never know their mindset.
There's nothing to stop her, when she's in a bad mood a week or two later, to re-rationalise that scenario in her head and suddenly "I wanted you to take advantage of me..." turns into "You took advantage of me..." and next thing you're explaining yourself to a judge, and all the witnesses saw you leave the bar with a heavily intoxicated girl.
Dawg I’m gonna be real that’s awful skittish for someone to whom effectively nothing bad happened. She wanted to have sex with you in a context where you had no assurance as to whether or not she would regret it so you made the right choice and turned out fine. You make it sound like losing one opportunity to appropriate caution is the end of the world
I’d like to see a one episode continuation of two and a half men with Charlie having to deal with new laws and meeting with a lawyer trying to figure out what he can and can’t do in an effort to try to sleep with women
She might MEAN "I've had so many drinks I might just do you" but that is not something you want in any scenario tbh.
You don't want to be the one she settles for because of beer goggles, you don't want to be the one cleaning up the puke and you don't want to be the one on the receiving end of allegations when she regrets it after sobering up. Because heavily intoxicated people can't consent and she just informed you that she is
If you really like her and she says this, you can offer to help her get home safe like finding who she came with or helping her order her uber and walking her out to it or something. See where that takes you the next day
But never do the deed with a drunk girl, it won't even be good. The PNC will suck and not in a good wa⁰
With all of this I wouldnt want to be dating yet again.
I am not even 40 but "in our young days" we got all shitfaced and then if someone slept with some girl well... they did, next day they went WTF or Hey that was not bad, lets stay together and that was it...
Yeah in my young days there also wasn't much of a concept of true consent... Which ended badly for me (entirely sober, but power dynamic and manipulation that I honestly think he truly believed to be ok because he managed to get a "yes" out of me)
‘True consent’, or this idea that people aren’t responsible for their own actions, is always crazy to me.
If a person consenting can be blamed on manipulation, anything can. Maybe the boy who you say manipulated you with a power dynamic was himself manipulated with a power dynamic, and he couldn’t consent himself. Maybe it’s you who borderline raped him!
Edit; fuck Reddit formatting, can’t fix this shit. Just read the last paragraph
Gun to your head is illegal.
Thats felony assault with a
deadly weapon.
So, anything after that is not
legally binding
eithe
r
due to ‘under duress’ laws
Not coercion unless i am an idiot. Hit record on my phone, get fired, get paid by court. Easy money.
Not coercion. If I’m hiding something about myself to my social group, maybe I need a new social group.
I would only say yes in the first, as would any reasonable person. All contracts signed ‘Under duress’ are not valid, including consent. So, that’s not related to sexual manipulation lol…
Lmao, "that was it" for you or your buddies that night, back then a woman wouldnt have been taken seriously so why even try to say it made her uncomfortable."take me back to the days where we could just do whatever we wanted and ignore the consiquences." Asshole.
It's on both parties. If you know you're gonna drink to the point of not being capable of making decisions, don't drink. You're not a baby, you're more than able to make the decision of whether or not to drink and to what amount
Sometimes people don’t know their limits, sometimes people drink to fit in with the people around them and it ends up being way too much. But at the end of the day, it is solely on the sober person to address the situation appropriately. A drunk person cannot make good decisions, they’ve already made bad decisions by getting drunk to that extent.
Imo taking any and all responsibility off the drunk person perpetuates the behavior further. Make both parties accountable and both parties will stop making undesirable choices. The idea that if a woman was drunk and incessantly coming on to me is of no problem whatsoever just because she's drunk is lunacy
There is responsibility put on drunk people 100% there’s dui charges going out every single day. But the original point is sleeping with someone you know is drunk beyond coherent decision making skills.
Yes of course. She should also get a hold of herself if she's capable of already sending you signals, or handle her alcohol better to begin with. Not that any of that excuses if someone did take advantage of her, it's also on the other party to not rape people
Yeah drunken sex is pretty much an ESH situation and I don't really understand the appeal of alcohol intoxication anyway (tried extensively, it just doesn't do much good for me) but everybody's got their thing I guess
I just don't understand knowing your limits, drinking past that point anyway, still being conscious enough to understand that you fucked up and still continuing with it anyway
I think it might be more of an "oh shit, that was my stop" as the train doors close type of situation 😂 but I honestly wouldn't know because I do watch my limits (which might be why I don't enjoy being drunk. Too much effort and vigilance required)
Though I do remember one party long, long ago where I slurred to the barman "this is definitely my last, I never drink more than three glasses" and ended up puking all over town because I hadn't noticed they were serving the wine in much, much bigger glasses at that party than they do in commercial establishments 😂
Holy shit I always thought it meant... like... "Please keep this in mind when interacting with me, e.g., if I come onto you, I am not in a gr8 st8 of mind. More like g5 tbh."
"Drunk" people absolutely can consent dude lmao. Alcohol is the best aphrodisiac there is. Drunk people have been consenting since the dawn of civilization. Black-out drunk people can't consent.
This is incorrect. While drunk people are capable of speaking words of consent, people who are intoxicated are LEGALLY UNABLE to consent. A drunk person can verbally give consent in the moment and you can still be charged with SA because legally speaking their words of consent are 100% invalid.
Alcohol is not an aphrodisiac, it is a sedative intoxicant which impairs cognitive brain function and inhibitions, and disrupts normal decision making processes. This is why LEGAL consent cannot be given by anyone under the influence of alcohol no matter what the other circumstances. This is among the many things that have changed since "the dawn of civilization". The only people who still think of alcohol as an aphrodisiac are people who are only able to convince other people to have sex with them if those people are unable to think clearly.
If anyone follows the above dipshit's advice, it not only risks harming another person in a profoundly serious way, but is also a class 1 felony in most states. It is a lose/lose situation, so don't do it.
It’s crazy that if you decide to get drunk and have sex then the courts say you didn’t have agency over your decision and you can’t consent. But if you decide to get drunk and drive it’s a 100% your fault and you consented to driving drunk.
Because, you should ensure, that you wont be driving before getting shitfaced. And when you drive, you endenger others. But when we talk about it from sexual pov, then others can take advantage of you, so you can't legally consent. Especially if the other party isnt under influence.
If we talking 2 people drunk, then in most cases, nobody cares. The only issue is to prove, that both of you were drunk. So one wasnt taking advantage of others. I remember a case, where this happened, where guy was pretending being drunk to get other drunk people. Even though few girls were accusing him of rape, it wasnt, because people thought he was drunk. Until friend told on him, that he was bragging to them about how he "gets" woman
You have a responsibility, when doing dangerous things like drinking, to prevent yourself access to dangerous things like cars and guns, until you are sober again, which usually means leaving the car keys and guns with a friend
I’m going to keep going to clubs/bars, getting buzzed/drunk, and having sex, even if you think it makes me some sort of rape victim, and I’m a guy. The women are often going to have comparable levels of alcohol too, so I guess sometimes we both rape each other. Fkn ridiculous.
Thats usually on judges to decide. Doubt if she was one beer in, it could be considered consensual. And I doubt you could put numbers on it, because people handle alcohol differently. And tbh, a lot crimes are not rigidly defined so, why this needs to be?
My wife doesn’t drink at all. If I’m drunk are you implying she is raping me if we sleep together because I can’t consent? That sounds like nonsense that I can get the sweet sweetness if I have a few beers on vacation without making my wife a sex offender.
Being in a relationship makes things different as you are able to consent prior to becoming intoxicated. There are agreements between partners that involve consenting even when consent is not given at time of initiation
You have a responsibility, when doing dangerous things like drinking, to prevent yourself access to dangerous things like cars and guns, until you are sober again, which usually means leaving the car keys and guns with a friend
Or after you give a girl a ride on your shoulders at a concert and then you set her back down and she says "I think you deserve a reward for that" but shes kinda drunk so you send her on her way with her friends...I'm gonna be honest I'm kind of a dumbass.
Sometimes its bring me another drink and we can see if i pass out before you do. Sometimes, it's announcing i'm about to say even more stupid shit than normal.
This is really very rarely the case, at least most parties where people drink, most if not all of the involved parties drink, so it more like two people who cant consent bumping uglies.
You shouldn’t want to have sex with someone who’s that bad at drinking. You will raise weak children who can’t hold their drink and roll around at parties all drunk.
Get yourself a proper partner who can down 5 whiskeys, look you in the eye, firmly shake your hand and say “Sir, I would like to have your dick inside of me”
But shouldn't the person who drinks also hold accountability of their own actions, like i am not defending rapes, but like you can't just regret your decision you took while you were drunk and call it rape
More sex fear mongering on Reddit. 20 years ago when I was in college most the sex anyone had was in some state of drunkenness and no one I know was ever accused of rape.
Women aren’t out here trying to both imprison you and sleep with you.
Don’t sleep with someone who can’t make an informed decision on if they want sex or not. Unless you are being a total creep if a woman is just normal low level drunk and wants to sleep with you the chances this is a trap are infinitesimally small.
The question isn't what YOU think or feel. It's to answer the meme. The meme could be Trump is great. And everyone with a brain knows that's not true. But if the meme says that we would still say "the meme is saying he's great." Without US actually believing he's great.
I teach English to non Americans and I have to teach Koreans why you shouldn't use KKK as a sign of laughter in America. I have to explain to Hispanics what the N word means, I have to explain certain "jokes" so they can understand. All while I myself am black. And I need to teach Asian women what 🥒🍆🌋 means when a guy sends it to them.
You can EXPLAIN something without perpetually bad ideas.
In fact if you don't explain it it's more harmful because they will continue to be around that person and adventually tell them that they are drunk when they are and that person who actually believes in this shit will take advantage of them.
So AGAIN, get TF out of your own head and explain shit like you aren't a 15yr old still shy about buying condoms
Protecting my ass. Learning about negative steorytypes is equally as important as learning other things to identify what's right and wrong. Get off your high horse
I had been into this coffee shop gal for a decade. I guess she felt that way about me too. We went to a bar together and she took me back to her place. It was also her parents place. She also wanted to smoke a bowl before going to sleep in her room together.
Well, that's all we did.
We never talked again after that.
To her, maybe those things were ok before hooking up, but to me that was a cocktail of nope.
So...if retroactively she decides it wasn't that good it's rape then.... I do not think that is how it works.
But from just saying the one above, does not mean anything. How does she say it? Do you know her? Etc....
... because thats all it would take for people and the law to believe it thats how its treated? Because all it takes is her to say it was? That's not incel behavior that called risk assessment. Why not to sleep with drunk people.
Yea.. no. Morningafter regret alone does not legally transform a consensual sexual act into rape. Consent given at the time of sex makes it consensual under the law, regardless of subsequent emotional changes or regret. If someone is so drunk that they lack the legal capacity to give informed consent, engaging in sexual activity with them can constitute sexual assault or rape. This however is based on a lack of legal consent during the act, not on retroactive regret. You worded it like it will always be rape if they regret it. Avoiding sex with heavily drunk people is proper valid risk management, but mixing emotional regret with the legal definition of sexual assault is false.
There are some that think a woman is signalling interest by being vulnerable while men signals inability. People make too many assumptions. I am desperate for people to love me since I am a dog and that is my nature.
I think the implication is that women will sometimes say this even when they're not actually that drunk when they want to sleep with a guy. The "being drunk" part acts as a bit of a social excuse for promiscuity ie. I normally wouldn't just have a one night stand, but I'm drunk wink wink*.
Basically the modern equivalent of baby its cold outside
It's a pretty bad way to initiate though since the only men who would take her up on that offer are men that you really shouldn't trust. Intoxicated women are off limits to good men, so this approach would be a better test of integrity than an excuse for promiscuity.
I think there are plenty of cues regarding slurred speech and motor function that can determine the actual degree of intoxication and whether what I'm referring to applies or not.
I think the kind of girl that does what I'm referencing isn't exactly the highest caliber kinda lady either, and the guy she's doing it to isn't probably the highest caliber fella in most cases, if you catch my drift.
On the other hand, society directs a lot of sexual guilt and hostility towards women who just want to have some sex, and if this little coy remark alleviates that then all the power to her.
Or the guy is also drunk. Usually she is saying this to someone who is out drinking with her.
I’ve slept with people who aren’t sober but I’m always in a similar category of drunkenness, not out of fear of allegations or anything but drunk people seem awkward and unsexy when you are much more sober than them, but when you are drunk hooking up with them can seem very appealing and your vibes match up.
Guy saying that is a quiet call for assistance. Like, he subtly tells you he needs supervision.
Girl saying she is drunk in That Voice is a hint... giggity... a hint you should NOT use about 95% of times. Giggity. No, seriously, don't.
Rape towards men from women is unfortunately taken significantly less seriously, since most guys see that as a win. We’re willing to accept a woman can be taken advantage of but refuse to do the same for men.
This poster is a joke, and the university it was posted at has since removed it and said that it isn’t accurate. It almost feels like a shit post.
Man or woman, if you’re drunk or they’re drunk, it’s best to just avoid it. And I mean like drunk drunk. Not “I had a beer and a shot then left” kind of drunk.
Women who use this as a signal are not healthy. Men who assume that women are using it as a signal — and especially men who take advantage of that scenario — are also unhealthy.
The same goes for the other way around: Women who take advantage of drunk men are just as awful.
But the fact is, the drunk person is vulnerable and not in their right mind, whereas a sober person is capable of choosing whether or not they want to take advantage of the intoxicated person. The sober person will always be more deserving of blame, because a drunk person is generally unable to protest or fight back.
Women like to not seem 'easy' and saying they are drunk gives them a reasonable excuse 'normally I wouldn't, but I was drunk'. Same as: every woman I slept with on the first date had 'not looking to hook up' in their tinder profile.
Well... that's the correct reading generally. Whether or not you should act on it is a different question.
Women, for a whole host of historical reasons, generally feel they need an excuse to act promiscuously "baby it's cold outside" The suggestion is "I don't normally do this"
It's actually the opposite what you're suggesting. 99% of women DO NOT tell people they're not interested in they're drunk. The LAST thing they wanna do to somebody they're uninterested in is give them any inkling they should pursue something. Women have to be very aware of how they move in these spaces. Telling someone "I'm vulnerable and willing to do things I might not otherwise because my thinking is impaired" is absolutely not something they're telling people just hoping that person is a kind hearted fellow and doesn't try to take advantage of them.
So again, whether or not you should pursue that is up to you but generally when women say this it is meant to be an invitation to flirting.
Pretty sure when I dude tells you they’re drunk is their way of saying they’re fucked up. But if a girl is telling you she’s drunk, it’s her way of flirting with you.
Guess I have a prude mind cuz what I got out of it was women claim their drunk in much earlier stages of intoxication than men, who only admit so when they're about to pass out
Am I they only one in the thread who looks at a woman telling me they are drunk as a sign of trust, and not a sign of promiscuity? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you all?
OP, so your post is not removed, please reply to this comment with your best guess of what this meme means! Everyone else, this is PETER explains the joke. Have fun and reply as your favorite fictional character for top level responses!
So true. A drunk guy hooking up with an equally drunk girl is always a rapist. Are people picturing some stone cold sober guy prowling bars looking for the most drunk women there? A drunk girl saying this is almost always saying it to a somewhat comparably drunk guy who is drinking with her.
People all over the world playing their own scenarios in their head about how things will or should go.
If she's really drunk, don't have sex with her, period.
If you're both drunk, I don't even know, it's whatever, just hope for the best if you lose your control, because there are indeed double standards.
I did indeed see, in my life, girls drinking a ridiculous amount of alcohol, like half a glass of wine and insisting they are a bit drunk to lower their accountability before having sex.
This usually doens't mean they will accuse you of rape afterwards, it usually just means they don't want to look like a slut. This never really backfired in my experience or the experience of the people I know, because the real world is not your fantasy world where everyone is evil and has a dark hidden agenda.
Just because someone is flirting while drunk doesn't mean you have to sleep with them the same night for fucks sake. Have fun and flirt back, make out, get their number, text them again later. Sleep together another time
Double standards. If a girl says it to a guy it’s okay. Same if a guy says it to a guy. But if a guy says it to a girl or a girl to a girl it’s treated as attempted sexual assault.
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