So I 18F work in a restaurant with several amazing co-workers, but there's this one guy let's call him Mike. (37M)

He is... To describe it lightly stubborn and.. insane.

He almost never takes a no for an answer, screams for just about NO REASON, never cares to actually listen.

Now he jumpscared me several times, every single day a few times during my shift. So much so I became anxious around him because I could never catch a break.

I told him to stop because imagine, being focused on one thing and only that one thing, someone sneaking up to you and straight up full volume yelling in your ear.

That's what he'd do then laugh.

I said stop several times and many times said "I am geneticaly prone to be a heart patient "(my father is a heart patient) or even going as far as to say I am a heart patient. Nonetheless he still kept doing it.

So today i decided to get my revenge in a way.

I waited for him to startle me for just about 20 minutes before he actually did.

That's how long it took from last time he did the same.

Once he did I immediately fell to my knees, my hands onto my chest, fully acting I cannot breathe, even went as far as to ask for aspirin from my bag (which I didn't have)

At the first sight he thought I was joking and dismissed me off, but soon enough is when the panic hit. He didn't know what to do or where to go searching through my bag endlessly for medicine that wasn't there.

He went out calling out for help and I ahead of time told my other co-workers what I was gonna do. I told them to act incredibly shocked and say they've called the hospital and entirely blame Mike.

It went exactly as planned, he was so stressed he looked like he was gonna cry. Then about 10 minutes in i outright told him

"This time, it wasn't real. But next time I could be. I told you to stop several times, and you didn't. Take this as a lesson" and my co-workers started laughing because he fell for it.

To say he was pissed.. is an understatement. He started cussing around and saying he can't believe I made him go through all that anxiety and stress for just about 10 minutes, to what? Prove a point?? His words, not mine. He walked out on us nearing the end of the shift

Now everyone was upset at him but also said I'm an AH for keeping it up for as long.

But he keeps basically harassing me with the screams all day long..? I don't know. I think what I did is justifiable but suddenly everyone thinks I'm an AH

So reddit. AITAH?

lWhen I first moved in with my roommate, everything was completely fine. We got along and I genuinely thought we’d have a good living situation. But over time, things have gotten progressively worse, and I’m honestly so fucking frustrated that I don’t want to live with her anymore.

She has started moving my belongings without asking. She’s thrown my MacBook onto my bed along with my expensive speaker. She’s taken my towels out of the bathroom closet, unfolded them, and thrown them onto my bed. I don’t understand why she thinks she can just handle my belongings whenever she wants.

She also went into my bedroom and complained about how messy it was. That’s my personal space. I’m not saying my room is always perfectly clean—it isn’t. I have depression, and sometimes keeping my room clean can be difficult. But she went into my private room specifically to criticize the way I keep it, and that really bothered me.

She also constantly glares at me and gives me rude looks. If I ask her a question, she’ll sometimes blatantly ignore me instead of just answering.

The rent situation is another thing that has caused resentment.

For the first few months, I was paying more of the rent than she was. I was willing to do that for a while because I understood her situation. What really made me start feeling differently was when she started bragging about how much money she had saved while I was paying more toward the apartment.

Eventually we started splitting the rent equally, and weirdly, that’s around when our relationship started going downhill.

I don’t resent her for buying a car, but she bought a new car at 20 and now has expensive car payments. That’s her financial decision. I don’t think those payments should somehow become my problem or give her a reason to expect me to pick up her responsibilities around the apartment.

Then there’s the guest situation.

She gets pissed when I have my sister and niece over, but her boyfriend can stay here for a week at a time. While he’s here, he’s using our water, electricity, Wi-Fi, etc., without paying rent or contributing to the extra household expenses. He also eats food that I bought and doesn’t replace it.

So my family visiting is apparently an issue, but her boyfriend essentially living here for a week and using everything is fine.

She also gets mad if my dog is on the couch, but her dog is allowed on the couch.

And the situation with her dog is honestly one of the things that bothers me the most. She regularly leaves her dog crated for around 12 hours at a time. I’ve gotten to the point where I started taking her dog out myself because I feel horrible leaving her in there that long.

What’s especially frustrating is that she acts like taking care of my dog is such a huge inconvenience, but whenever she goes somewhere with her boyfriend, she expects me to feed her dog and take her dog out.

So somehow I’m expected to take responsibility for her dog when it’s convenient for her, while she gets annoyed about basic care for my dog.

She’s also lazy about basic household responsibilities. She’ll leave the trash and expect me to take it out. She’ll leave dishes sitting around instead of putting them in the dishwasher. She’ll ask me to do things like lock the door instead of just doing it herself.

She also threw away my leftovers after they’d only been in the refrigerator for one day without asking me.

At this point, I feel like she wants to control me like she’s my parent, while simultaneously expecting me to act like the parent of the household because she doesn’t want to handle basic responsibilities herself.

There’s also an incident that made me really uncomfortable. I overheard her boyfriend yelling, “Stop hitting me. I’ve asked you to stop so many times.” I didn’t see what happened, so I’m not claiming I know exactly what occurred, but hearing that obviously concerned me.

Both of our names are on the lease. I’m not trying to kick her out early or claim that I have more legal rights to the apartment. I’m specifically talking about when our lease ends.

The electric, gas, Wi-Fi, and basically all of the utilities are in my name. I’m also the only one who can access the apartment portal because I was the person who applied for the apartment.

I’ve reached the point where I’ve told her that when our lease is over, I think she needs to find her own place because I don’t want to renew a lease with her.

I don’t think I’m asking for anything crazy. I want to be able to have my family over without getting attitude. I want my belongings left alone. I want my food left alone. I want my private bedroom to actually be private. I want household responsibilities to be reasonably shared. I want both dogs to be properly cared for. And I don’t want someone imposing rules on me that they don’t follow themselves.

Maybe I’m wrong for how I’ve handled some of this, and I’m willing to hear that. But I genuinely don’t know if I’m being unreasonable for deciding that I don’t want to live with her anymore.

I (16) got a kitten 7+ months ago that I raised for the most part. She was my best friend and my comfort most days as I dont really have friends my age and stay home a lot. My mom gave her away almost a month ago due to her urinating on clothing often and to this day I dont talk to her unless I have to and stay out of the house as much as possible because I cant stand being at home without my kitten. My dad (who ran over a previous cat of mine) said last week that he'd bring her back to no avail. my mom snapped today when she told me to clean up a mess and I ignored her, saying I'm being childish for not letting go of my cat.

I’m overweight by BMI standards but I’m not unhealthy. I had some weight gain due to autoimmune disease of maybe 10-15 lbs over the last 2 years. It’s difficult to lose due to hormonal imbalances. My husband had promised not to comment on this again, and then last night he was asking me why I was wearing a sweater. I said I felt a little self conscious cause my pants (which are 4 years old and purchased long before the moderate weight gain) were a little small and the sweater was one of those longer bigger fits. He goes “you know your solution to that? Close your mouth”

I didn’t immediately register what he meant, then it hit me he meant stop eating/go on a diet which he confirmed was what he meant. I’m already on a diet but I’ll occasionally indulge in one dessert maybe once or twice a week. I kept my tone calm and told him that was a nasty thing to say and that I don’t feel it’s appropriate for him to comment on my body, and he barked back that if I don’t want him commenting on my weight then I should shut up and never talk about it. He also said where he’s from in south america people aren’t so sensitive about these comments. I find it hard to believe women aren’t? He said I enable comments on my weight if I express any dissatisfaction (but all I said was matter - of - fact I’m wearing a sweater cause my pants are tight at the top?

So am I the AH for answering his question?

This started off as a casual lighthearted conversation when we first started dating. We were watching a documentary about people getting married to someone in prison - and he jokingly asked if I would do that if he went to prison. (Btw my hubby is straight laced, no criminal record whatsoever, he went to college and is now an engineer. He’s never broke a rule in his life. The man isn’t going to prison). My answer was no, that I wouldn’t stay with him if he went to prison. He was actually kind of shocked and hurt by that.

Fast forward to now, he 7 years later (we’ve been married for 4). He asked me again recently if I’d stay with him if he went to prison. I once again said prob not but it really depends on the crime and length of time he’d be in there. He still seemed so shocked and hurt. So I asked him the same question back - and he said of course he’d stick with me. Which is sweet. So now I feel like an AO.

My husband (31M) and I (30F) have been married for 6 years. We’ve got 2 kids and a fantastic marriage. He and I have never had problems with one another having friends of the opposite gender as long as there’s some boundaries and open communication. We’ve got healthy boundaries and trust.

I met my friend Stephen (29m) back in 2020 through mutual friends. It was always platonic, we were never close, and we never had any feelings for one another. He and his wife met last year and got married within a few months of meeting. He and my husband happened to start working at the same company a few years back (like 2022ish) and they’ve grown close.

A few weeks ago my husband lost one of his best friends very tragically and suddenly. His birthday is coming up so I wanted to make it extra special this year so he can take his mind off of things. Mind you, this was supposed to be a surprise birthday party with all of our friends and family, and even his best friends are flying in from out of town. I texted Stephen to invite him. No emojis, no smiley faces, and nothing that could possibly be confused as flirting. I also don’t even have his wife’s number because we’ve only met once. A few hours later, I remembered that his wife and I had just barely added each other on insta! I was like “OH YEAH let me just forward the message to her too so she’s in the loop! I couldn’t find her. So I searched her through my husbands insta. She blocked me. I was like “HUH?”

The next day at work, Stephen goes to my husband and he’s like “Hey man my wife didn’t appreciate your wife texting me. It really upset her” and obviously my husband is confused. He shows him the text all about the surprise birthday party. And then my husband is even more confused because 1.) why would he tell him and 2.) why was his wife freaking out about a birthday invitation? So now BOTH of them have me blocked and I’m just bamboozled because I genuinely did not mean anything by it. Usually I’d have my husband text Stephen but I figured I should do it because, ya know, it was supposed to be a surprise. AITAH??

My uncle and I live in different European countries. My grandparents split their time between Europe and our home country, and they’re about to leave Europe again for the next 6 months or so.

My uncle recently had a baby, less than a month ago, and really wanted my grandparents to meet the baby before they leave. Since they’re currently staying in the same country as me, I was supposed to take them. Otherwise it could easily be another 6–12 months before they meet.

The problem is that the trip was already quite complicated as my grandparents are not even in the same city as me.

I also don’t have many vacation days left, so I was even doing extra hours at work to make it possible.

My grandpa is 90. He can travel, but it’s not exactly easy anymore. My grandma is basically his caregiver.

The plan had been talked about for months now but was always very vague. Eventually I called my uncle and told him we needed to actually decide because I had to organize work and the rest of the trip. Even then he seemed unsure and suggested meeting “halfway” which would mean me driving my grandparents around 5 hours while he drove 5 hours with a newborn. I said I’d rather just stick to the original plan of flying.

Then the next day he texted asking when we had last had the whooping cough vaccine because he wanted everyone visiting the baby to get it.

In my country, this vaccine is part of the normal childhood schedule so I had it as a kid, but adults don’t usually get boosters. So it’s not like I can just walk into a health clinic and get one. We’d need to talk to our doctors and get a prescription.

The thing is that I didn’t feel comfortable suddenly deciding that my almost-90-year-old grandpa, who had just been sick and already has all the vaccines recommended by his doctor, should get an extra vaccine just for this trip. Even mild side effects like fever or feeling unwell could make an already exhausting trip worse for him.

My grandma was already not very excited about the whole trip and agreed she didn’t want to do that, so we cancelled.

Now my uncle is upset and saying it’s “just one vaccine” and that it was really important to him that my grandparents meet the baby.

I understand, but I also feel like if this vaccine was a requirement, he should have told us much earlier, not 3 weeks before the trip after we’d been talking about it for ages.

TL;DR: My grandparents are about to leave Europe for around 6 months, so my uncle wanted me to escort them from my country to his country to meet his newborn before they go. The trip was already complicated because my grandpa is 90 and my grandma is basically his caregiver. A few weeks before the trip, my uncle suddenly said everyone had to get a vaccine, which adults in my country don’t routinely get. My grandma didn’t want my grandpa getting an extra vaccine at short notice after he’d recently been sick, so we cancelled. Now my uncle says we’re overreacting because it’s “just one vaccine”. AITAH?

EDIT: Just to clarify because people seem to think we’re not vaccinated or pressuring or guilt tripping my uncle into going without it. We’re all vaccinated with all the vaccined that are on the national plan plus any vaccine that our doctors suggest. Unfortunelly we just haven’t had a booster of this one because it’s not on the national schedule of where we live which means that for us to get it, we need to first know about it, get a prescription and we need to pay for it ourselves. The routine vaccine every 10 years has only tetanus and diphtheria (Td). I've check my vaccination card and I had those, but the Tdap was not there because it was not on the schedule and I didn't know about it.

I’m totally fine with my uncle requiring it for the baby. But it's a requirement that I simply can't meet 2.5 weeks before the trip.

I was already doing extra hours at work just to make the trip happen, so my answer was basically: okay, with this new requirement we can’t come. I honestly had no idea that we needed that.

EDIT 2: For everyone commenting “it’s reasonable to ask for that”, I’m not questioning his reasons or the value of the vaccine. I simply believe that he didn’t plan anything with appropriate timeframes, and now wants us all to get a vaccine 2.5 weeks before the trip. I should have known this for a while now, and he should have told us as he probably had to take it himself when his wife is pregnant. It is simply not my fault it was not on the normal usual calendar and therefore I didn’t get it.

Husband and I have a 4yo girl and a 2.5 month old girl. Husband’s coworker and his wife just had their 2nd girl (4 months before my 2nd daughter was born) and he came up to husband one day at work and said they have a lot of baby clothes and asked if we wanted to look through them.
My husband said yes and thanked him and a few days later he brought a 1/3 of a trash bag of clothes to work for my husband to bring home.

This was in May, fast forward to last week (end of August) my daughter has grown out of the newborn size so I was going through all her clothes and replacing them with a larger size. I told my husband I was going to mail the clothes to our in-laws as they are expecting their baby girl in December. He replied and told me that his coworker wanted the clothes back. I said okay and I went through the clothes again and took out what I thought was theirs. He brought it to work and his coworker said that we gave them significantly less than what they gave us, and the trash bag they originally sent was stuffed full. I texted the wife and apologized, clarified that we only received a partially full bag, and asked what they were missing so I knew what to look for and I’d get it back to them, she replied and said they weren’t worried about the clothes and they don’t expect them back and no one was upset or anything.

The next day, the coworker sent my husband a passive aggressive text about how they gave us over $1000 in newborn baby clothes and they received very little back and that they wanted to recoup some of their money with the clothes at a second-hand baby store. My husband and him went back and forth for a while because he was calling us liars and accusing us of stealing the clothes, my husband was upset because if he knew we were supposed to give the clothes back, we wouldn’t have accepted them and also we never received anything even close to $1000 in newborn clothes. My husband ended up putting all the newborn clothes on the floor and taking pictures to prove that we didn’t have any more of their things. Coworker replied circling clothes in the photos basically claiming almost everything we have is theirs, clothes that our first daughter wore in 2022.

Basically I am so confused on how we got here. We saw them a few weeks ago at my daughter’s bday party and they were so sweet and nice. I was very excited to have a friendship with another mom with girls in similar age to mine. I reached out multiple times trying to figure out what we forgot, they both said they didn’t remember and it wasn’t a big deal, and then they sent an itemized list of what they had. I have given and received clothes from so many people and never have I expected the clothes back or been asked by anyone else to give clothes back. Is this normal? Are we jerks? Has anyone gone through something similar? I’m trying to find a good middle ground where they don’t feel like they got robbed (🙄) and we aren’t giving them baby clothes we’ve had for 4+ years just for them to sell.

Edit/update- some of the clothes he circled, I didn’t have photos of my first daughter wearing so I sent it back to them. My husband brought it to work this morning and the coworker was going through it all taking inventory. Unfortunately I don’t think I’ll have another update because I blocked the wife and my husband blocked his coworkers # too. They aren’t getting anything else from us and we won’t be speaking to them again. Just bummed because it’s hard to make parent friends!! Thanks for all the feedback, love not being the asshole!!!

My mom has always been a loving, supportive mother, but she’s also constantly criticizing and harshly judging people, mostly other people, sometimes me.

I recently got a super cute Yorkie puppy. One of her paws is smaller than the other and she limps a little, but I absolutely adore her. I was with my mom and dad today and was telling my mom how much I love her, how cute she is, how smart she is, etc.

Later, my mom calls me and, completely out of nowhere, says, “It’s okay if you want to return the dog.”

Like…what? I never said I wanted to return her. I had literally just been telling you how much I love her.

She had been drinking, and she definitely talks more shit when she drinks, but given the lifelong accumulation of her constant criticism, I found it incredibly unnecessary and irritating.

I told her it was weird and completely uncalled for, told her not to call me with stuff like that, and basically rushed her off the phone. I’m an adult living in a different city. Read the room. This is not how adults talk to each other.

My husband has an opportunity to go on a one month retreat in another country. We have two young children school age.

I told him he should go bc its a once in a lifetime opportunity and I can manage the kids and house for a month alone bc I want him to have this.

I was able to travel a lot before marriage.

Now he is saying “im gonna miss you and need a pep talk.”

And i did. But i thought about it and told him that my pep talk was insincere bc i dont want him to go and Im making a huge sacrifice for him to go. And he should ask someone else for a pep talk.

AITA?

I dont want to babysit his emotions when I am already taking on a lot!

UPDATE: for those saying i dont want him to go so YTA i need to clarify:

I WANT HIM TO GO
I DONT WANT TO MANAGE HIS EMOTIONS ABOUT HIM GOING

SECOND UPDATE:
My husband just called me and said it didn’t even occur to him that I was having the same anxiety about missing him plus the additional pressure of single parenting. He said “you are the one who needs a pep talk. Not me. “ and we had a good conversation and I cried.

All is okay now.

Thanks to the ones saying my communication sucks. It does. He had no idea I was so anxious about him leaving.

I (19F) live in a very small apartment with my brother (17M) and our mother, and the apartment is legally under my name. This year, my brother got a girlfriend, and she is now at our house almost every single day, from morning until late at night.
I am planning to tell him that this needs to stop and that she cannot come over every day anymore, but I want to know if I'm being unreasonable.
This situation has become unbearable for me.
I am a very reserved person and my home is my safe space, but I can no longer wear comfortable clothes because I have past SH marks that I don't want a stranger to see.
I constantly have to cover up in my own home. On top of that, they completely take over the living room all day, screaming and playing games. I can't even watch TV anymore, and when I asked my brother to use his bedroom instead, he just said the living room is more comfortable. She also uses my personal iPad every single day, and my brother gets offended if I try to ask for it back. To make matters worse, she lives far away and constantly makes my mom drive her home late at night.
I don't want to ban her completely, but I want to set a strict boundary and limit her visits to just a few times a week. I just want my privacy and my house back. AITAH for asking my brother to stop bringing his girlfriend over every single day?

Context,

I'm F20, and living with my parents. My dad is the kind of person who has never played video games and has never been interested in them. Even though I wanted to keep playing, my dad scolded me for playing a “violent” game late at night. (The game was Kingdom Hearts 2, if you’re wondering.)

I’m a student, but I didn’t have class the next day, so I told him he didn’t need to worry.

But my dad told me that playing a game at that hour would ruin my sleep, that I’d stay up until 3 a.m. (which isn’t true—I stay up until midnight at the latest), and that I should know better as the “scientist” of the family (the rest of my family are humanities majors, especially my dad).

Of course, after that I saved my game and quit, but I still wonder if it’s normal for my dad to treat me like a baby. I’m way past the age where I need someone watching over me to make sure I get enough sleep.

And to top it all off, my dad told my mom about it. (They almost got into an argument, but my mom is neutral on both sides. She didn’t want to argue first thing in the morning.) Am I really the wrong one and my father is right? Even if his arguments are, I'm feeling like he is overreacting.

I know it sounds ridiculous.

So I have a creation that is a Grimdark world, and I do not hesitate to say it is imperfect and show the dark parts of it. A friend I roleplay with recently said that what I did with the Identity Chips in the creation is racist, and they likened it to when Canada oppressed indigenous people.

For reference, the thing about Identity Chips is that it is a microscopic chip injected into the base of the neck, and it holds all the information needed to know about a person, like bank records, medical records, and so on and so forth. It's also required, as it denotes you as a citizen, and is basically like someone's Social Security Number and Government ID rolled into one.

They couldn't wrap their head around it, saying that it being required was it being forced on people, and that it erased a person's identity by "being forced to adopt a new identity [...] You have to eat their food. do things their way. it is a form of racism." (Direct quote from the Discord btw)

Like, yeah? You do have to eat their food unless you bring your own? And you do have to do things their way, it's called following the law?

I've talked to multiple people about this already, and all them agree that it isn't racist. But I still can't shake it off, being acussed of being racist and showing white supremacist tendencies... I've worked on my world for 4 years now, I've always had it be like this, and it's always been a fun thing for me to write about and have fun with making lore for it.

Dear god, I'm praying I don't end up on r/AmITheDevil T~T

Edit: Thank you everyone whom has replied so far, I'm so glad I'm not crazy for not understand how it's racist.

My 30 something sister caused some drama this week when she called my Dad asking for money, problem is she hasn't spoken to him in over 10 years and has not maintained a relationship there despite Dad wanting one. So he thought it was a scammer and ignored it, he didn't know what she sounded like or looked like anymore and it seemed weird she'd go to him before anymore else.

Turns out it was her according to Mum and she's got car troubles which means she can't get to her job without it and she's no savings to sort it apparently and no friends nearby that could give her a lift and no local public transport for the route. When something similar happened to me, Dad wouldn't help and I had to take out a loan that took me about 8 years to pay off. It was stressful but I figured it out and was in a more unstable position than my sister seems to be in now.

I'm expecting that if Dad doesn't decide to help she may come to me next. But the issue is that she also has not maintained a relationship with me either for just as long. Last time I saw her in person, staying with family she wouldn't even look at me if in the same room and said only 5 words to me the whole time. It's really sad as we used to have so much in common as kids and I don't know what went wrong to cause her to be this way.

I could maybe afford to help her myself but it'd set me back in my savings and I have no idea if she would ever pay me back so I'm thinking I wouldn't want to help. AITAH if I refuse to lend her money? I'm happy to give advice or point her in the right direction but not comfortable with lending money that's taken me a really long time to save and be in a more comfortable position.

EDIT TO ADD: Few people asked why she's not maintained contact. Only thing I can think of is that she had a bad time when my parents and I got divorced at the same time and maybe that caused her some extra work and trauma. But that was over 15 years ago now. Mum has a bad habit of talking shit about people so that's probably not helped. But I've genuinely no more intel on why she's like this way with us, there's no history of anything unforgivable especially given the amount of time that has passed. The worst thing Dad ever did was be a bit negative about her behaviour as a kid but nothing out of the ordinary IMO. Parents divorce was a bit messy and sister was living at home at the time but nothing physical.

I (22F) and my friend (22F) are kinda butting heads

So back story, she moved to California in February from Japan, it took her unit a while to get her a barracks room, so I let her stay with me and use my spare car till she got a room and a car of her own rent free.

When she finally got her room, I helped her move in and clean it as well, and when she got out of the military I told her the offer still stands if she wanted to move back in, she decided to go back to Japan afterwards for a month so she asked to just store her stuff at my house which I was okay with since one of our other friends happened to move in.

Her stuff took up the spare closet, the garage and the living room… I didn’t care for it to be in there for a month but a month became 3 months instead….and it taking up my very small living room was honestly my only complaint

Last week Sunday my husband an his friend moved the rest of her stuff in the garage… she texted me Wednesday that she was flying in Saturday night….only a 3 day notice! Cool …. And Sunday she would be staying with another friend…cool no harm done, we already have enough people in my small house…well apt

Today she sent me a kinda back handed message telling me that she had food in a bin and it was all moldy, essentially blaming that fact that we put it in the garage caused it. I explained to her that I was at work when my husband moved it and if I had known that she didn’t want it in there I would have said something. Plus that food was in that bin for 3 months, a week in a garage wouldn’t cause that, on top of it, who knows how old that food was before she packed it away.

That’s like putting leftover chipotle in the fridge for three months and expecting it to be good still because you refrigerated it.

Now she is gaslighting me making me feel bad because she planned on eating this 3 months old food before she packed everything up to go back to our home state.

I told her overall communication could have been better and she left me on read….

I have BPD and I internalize everything, so yeah I kinda feel bad especially in this economy shit isn’t cheap….but also come on this food sat in a bin for 3 months🤷🏻‍♀️AITAH

I was close friends with this girl (“Sarah”) for a few years. There had always been a slightly weird competitive thing with her when it came to men. Ex: one time I guess I got more compliments than she did while we were out and she got mad, or apparently on multiple occasions if a guy at a bar asked for my number or showed interest in me, friends had pointed out that Sarah would sometimes immediately start flirting with him afterward. Tbh never really bothered me because these were never guys I actually cared about, but in retrospect it all feels like a massive red flag.

At one point in our friendship, there was a guy who frequented a bar we went to and I mentioned that I thought he was cute. We were all sort of friends and I wasn’t seriously interested in him and never pursued him, but not long after that Sarah started flirting with him pretty heavily.

Then one of our mutual friends, “Anna,” confided in us that this guy had sexually assaulted her a few months earlier and she lost her job after she tried to report him bc she worked at a restaurant that his mom owned and we later found out he was actually known around the area for sexually assaulting women.

I completely cut him off as did our other friend who learned about this, but apparently sarah was still talking to him a lot.

One night a few weeks later we ran into him while we were out and Sarah invited him back to her place to hook up. I was honestly shocked and asked if she was sure she wanted to do that considering everything we knew about him and she just looked at me and said, “Yeah, I want to hook up with him, so it’s not like he’d rape me.”

I genuinely didn’t know what to say to that.

The next morning she told me they’d slept together and she seemed excited because she thought they might start seeing each other only to then complain to me and crash out bc he apparently wasn’t texting her back.

The whole thing really changed the way I saw her, especially because Anna had trusted both of us enough to tell us what happened to her and how much it still impacted her and was ruining her life.

What pushed me over the edge was that shortly afterward, Sarah started talking about how much she wanted to hang out with Anna and become closer friends with her. Anna obviously had no idea Sarah had knowingly pursued and slept with the man who raped her.

I was out of town like a week later and Anna texted me that sarah invited her to happy hour and how she was so happy that she’d met us and that it felt really nice to finally meet girls she could trust and tbh maybe this does make me the asshole, but I told her what sarah did. It wasn’t to gossip or “expose” her, but the whole situation just made me feel sick and I’d already told sarah that she needed to be up front with Anna about what happened, but I guess she didn’t plan on it.

Anna was extremely upset and decided she wanted nothing to do with Sarah. Sarah then got furious with me and said it wasn’t my business to tell Anna who she’d slept with and that I’d betrayed her trust.

I understand that normally someone’s sex life isn’t mine to share. But I felt like this was completely different. Sarah knew this man raped Anna, slept with him anyway, and then wanted to build a closer friendship with Anna while keeping that information from her. I felt like Anna had a right to know who she was becoming friends with and make that decision for herself.

Sarah and I stopped being friends after this. She recently reached out wanting to make amends, but she still maintains that I was wrong for “exposing her” to Anna and that her sex life was only her business. Is she right? AITAH? I thought I was doing the right thing and I don’t regret it, but maybe it was out of line for me to do.

My girlfriend and I went to a friend's wedding last night and she got fairly drunk to the point of stumbling, spilling her drink, and overall just getting clumsy. We have been together for two and a half years.

When we got home we got ready for bed and I tucked her into bed (we have separate rooms.) When I went to go to my room, she asked why I wasn't sleeping with her. I told her that it's late and all we are going to be doing is sleeping. She insisted I sleep in her bed so I laid down and she started getting really close, linking her leg with mine, etc. When I asked if she was tired she said she was horny and we hadn't had sex in awhile.

I told her I don't feel comfortable having sex with her while she's drunk and she lost it on my saying that I'm treating her like she has the plague and that since she's my gf, I'm not some random guy.

We argued from 130-230am with her coming back to my room after I went to sleep by myself. She said she was being dramatic but then kept pinning things on me saying that I'm making things harder than they need to be. After a lot of back and fourth, I eventually slept in her bed with her and we both fell asleep. This morning, she has a giant hangover even after I urged her to drink water and she hasn't spoken of last night. We had sex this morning when she was sober.

Side note: We just celebrated her 30th birthday where i spoiled her with a hotel, a nice gift, and a spa day and dinner. She thanked me for it but last night was not fun. I felt like my boundaries weren't respected.

TL:DR: My gf got super drunk last night after I wouldn't have sex with her while she was drunk. She freaked out at me and argued until 230am before finally falling asleep.

I’m nearly 50 and have really struggled to find my place in the two years since my relationship ended. In the time I was in a relationship, my single friends all got partnered and all the things I used to do before is off the table. I’m not saying this as a complaint, it’s just how it is: my friends and their partners are a package deal and I rarely get to see them one on one. They are happy and settled and I have realised that I need to carve out a life for myself that doesn’t rely on others being available.

So I’m following a great opportunity and moving interstate.

Ive always been obsessed with the great outdoors and am moving to the middle of nowhere, where there is also a job and accommodation for me in my field! I’m so excited, and it feels like a real new beginning. But my friends say I’m selfish for leaving them. ATAH for doing this?

For context, I’m 25 and my boyfriend is 24. We promised each other that we would wait until we could both work abroad at the same time. But lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my parents. They’re getting older, and I really want to be able to help them as much as I can while I still have the opportunity.
Because of that, I’ve been considering going abroad first, even if it means breaking the promise we made to each other. I honestly don’t know how to tell my boyfriend about this because I know he might get upset or feel betrayed by my decision. I don’t want him to think that I’m choosing my career or leaving him behind, because that’s not my intention. I just feel like I have a responsibility toward my parents, and I don’t want to regret not doing more for them while I still can.

My boyfriend and I are moving next month so I’ve been putting a lot of our stuff up on Facebook Marketplace. A few days ago I listed a floor mirror for $60. It’s pretty heavy (to me at least) and has a thin frame so before the buyer came over today I messaged her to let her know she’d need a car with enough space and that bringing a blanket would probably be a good idea. She said that was fine and that she had it covered. When she got to my house she was in a small sedan. I carried the mirror down to the driveway and NO offense to her whatsoever but it was pretty clear it wasn't going to fit easily, but she said she could make it work if she laid it across the back seats. She handed me the $60 cash and I helped her lay it slightly in the back so she could angle it. Right after that she started trying to push it into the back seat. It ended up catching on the front headrest, and instead of pulling it back out to reposition it she just shoved it and there was an audible crack, the frame broke but the mirror itself was fine.

After we looked at the mirror together she said it would probably be fine and she could glue it back together. I don’t even know why I looked with her in the first place after it broke because I wouldn’t have given her a refund anyways. She drove off and about an hour ago she messaged me on fb to ask for a refund since it was broken, and she offered to bring it back. She told me she couldn’t actually fix it and didn’t want a broken mirror. I told her no. I felt bad, but I reminded her that I had warned her about the size, the transaction was already finished and it only broke because she forced it in. Also she left and told me it would probably be fine!! If she pushed for it I might have done a partial refund but she took it home!!

She left a 1 star review on my seller profile and described me as unreasonable and stubborn. My bf agrees with me that I don’t owe her any money back but I called my mom and she said I could have settled for a partial refund. My sister was otp and agreed with her too so idk what to think. I don’t want her review to impact my ability to sell stuff bf and I can’t take with us, I just started selling on fb.

Basically the title, I'm 19F and my brother is 24M, he recently asked me to teach him how to crochet and i refused.

I gave him the reason that I don't know how to teach someone and i tried before to teach a friend and i couldn't do it for more than 20 minutes, i did say tho that i would send him all the videos i learned from and if he has any questions or things he doesn't understand from said videos he can just ask me to demonstrate

He also said he's gonna be using my yarn and i refused that too, yarn is expensive and i bought it with my own money, and all the yarn i have is for projects I'm either working on or will begin soon,

This all resulted in him being stubborn and refusing to watch any of the videos i sent, then paying $100 (which is ALOT in my currency) from my mom's money to go to a crochet class (we're going through financial issues currently and he just wants to be petty)

Then he went on to tell basically our entire family about how i refused to teach him and everyone is telling me how selfish i am for not even teaching my own brother how to do something I'm good at.

It's making me feel really guilty about all that even though i think i made some valid points, so AITAH?

It’s my birthday this week. My dad’s side of the family is quite close, we see each other often and they’re all very loving and attentive. I live with my Godmom (dad’s sister) and her husband. This particular birthday is specially emotional because I got a wonderful job opportunity and am moving to a different country in a couple of months. My life is changing.

My grandma (mom’s side) was a mother to me! She used to plan my birthday celebration months ahead, and would always bake a specific, special cake for me. She passed 5 years ago and I miss her everyday.

For context, my mom dated this really terrible guy, alcoholic, chauvinistic, jealous freak, narcissistic and emotionally abusive. They had two daughters and haven’t been together for years, he’s from a different side of the country, but since he’s constantly out of a job and my mom doesn’t establish boundaries, he spends months in my mom’s house, being supported by her. This thankfully doesn’t affect me directly anymore. Last year, they had an altercation and he physically abused her. She didn’t tell anyone after the fact and I ask her a few things: 1. Go to therapy, 2. Talk to a lawyer to see what you can do to keep him away. 3. Never again ask me to be in the same room as that man.

Last year, my mom made my grandma’s recipe for my special cake and it was such a special moment, i thought it would become our thing now. a few months later, this terrible guy’s mom was visiting and she made the cake for her. And I felt a little sad about it, I’m not gonna lie.

Dad’s side is celebrating me this saturday with lunch at my favorite place, everyone’s coming, my best friend even.

This guy is once again freeloading at my mom’s. I call her today to catch up and she says “Hey, what are we doing do celebrate you? Want to do something at the house?” I make reference to the fact that he’s there and her answer is “Well, what can I tell you? that’s the way it is. You think about it and let me know.”

You want to know what I think? Hell no. I don’t want to spend my birthday with her abuser. I don’t even feel like eating my special cake because it doesn’t feel mine anymore, even if it’s silly. The family in general isn’t that attentive, they don’t give gifts even, and It’s not that I want gifts in specific, just the idea of people thinking about you and wanting to celebrate you if that makes sense?

I feel like abstaining from celebrating with them would make them all think I’m an asshole, I’ve received comments already about me thinking I’m “too good” and such, but agreeing to have a celebration at mom’s with that guy there would feel like a huge betrayal to myself, and would honestly make my grandma’s absence all the more present.

I genuinely feel torn and feel like mom’s “think about it and let me know” unfairly puts the ball in my court and suddenly I’m the asshole who didn’t want to celebrate with her side.

I 20(M), is coaching a tackle football team that my cousin (13M), is apart of, a few months ago he was playing flag football and had a pretty rough season, they went 0-6 and he hated post games activities with his parents/my aunt and uncle, they’d always ask “how much you’d guys lose by” and “do you think you guys will ever win” never any support or comfort, my cousin isn’t a crybaby, he just hates how his parents are to him after games as they never ask about his feelings and thoughts after games, never a “how was your game?” Never a “are you ok? Are you injured?” And especially never a “you did good out there! I’m proud of you” they have never been supportive of him, also my cousin isn’t a sore loser, he’s very kind to others despite him being an Offensive and Defensive linemen meaning he has to be very physical, and won a sportsmanship award of some sort from the team he was playing for,

Late September this year, my cousin signed up to the tackle team I’m coaching, he asked me if I could take him to practice every time he had it, and I said yes since I know he already had his mom’s approval to do so, what I didn’t have approval for tho, was to take him to games and drop him off back home, and or to wherever him and his mom were gonna go, I asked my aunt and she said “No” as she wanted to be there for all his games, I said she could follow with us that’d I just be driving, she refused and screamed at me while I was trying to be as polite and calm as possible as she had this random meltdown, then she told me I was being a bad cousin, an asshole, I was trying to “take” her son away from her, and that I should just drop the whole “nice cousin act”, here’s where I might be the asshole, I let it out, I told her how unsupportive she was to her son, how after games HE would come to ME, how he’d always complain how unsupportive she was and sometimes just wanna know how much they lost by, I told her she was ignoring the leg pain he had been going throughout practices that he CAME to her to, and how even when my cousin confronted her about being unsupportive she labeled it as “honesty” which in my mind doesn’t make sense, she stopped contacting me after a while, and my cousin didn’t mind that I told her what he told me, that he was actually happy someone stood up for him, as even he stands up for himself vs his parents a lot of people seem to ignore it even if they’re in the wrong

I’m planning to take my cousin to games anyways, as I’ll ask for my uncle’s permission since I know he’s usually busy and won’t mind, we have our first game this week and I’m happy to know he’s starting as our right guard and his teammates already love him, as they said he “adds life to the team”, and while my aunt is still pissed about the whole thing saying I should apologize, I’m not going to, I stood up for something my cousin was already bothered about, and I’m proud of it, I know it might be immature, especially on my part, but I did it because my cousin doesn’t deserve to be treated like this, as a bad player, as if every mistake is he’s fault, it’s not just football, it’s outside of football also and I’ve heard it from other family about how she talks BAD about her own son despite being kind and a smart kid, so tell me AITAH