Kinda like that CSN&Y lyric, I almost quit Mindgasm, but I decided to give it one more try. Wow, just wow. I finally found something so heavenly, so blissful and profoundly pleasurable that I feel like my life has been changed.
I'd had some good rides going through the lessons and had some decent full body contractions along with the orgasmic feelings that go with it. I didn't get past those body contractions as I pressed on to the Eternal Flame. I just couldn't bridge the gap to mind based contractions. I tried the Stairway but it was just out of my league. I stalled out and took a break, believing that I had probably reached the progress limit for me.
For months I considered canceling my subscription and moving on, but something kept me attached to the idea that there was more to Mindgasm. I had tried meditation many times and just didn't get it either. I usually just fell asleep. So, eventually I tried the Connection lesson...and fell asleep, several times. As a last ditch effort, I tried the Flame once more.
This time I decided to really try my best to stay awake yet relax and turn away from any body contractions. I wanted something like meditation, but more enjoyable. So, I turned up the volume and began intently listening to Allie. Surprisingly, It went quite well, like a chill session that left me very peaceful. I listened to it again a day or two later with the same effect, but with a hint of success in feeling the basis of a mind based contraction.
Today, with that thread of success in mind I set the stage for climbing The Stairway. I got comfortable and turned up the volume so I could hear every word...and NOT fall asleep. Allie slowly and sweetly guided me through the first steps. When she said relax, I focused my ass off in doing just that, and I breathed deeply. Ever so slowly I began to feel my Source, the three muscle sets functioning together. I felt my source begin to elevate and I wanted to contract my abs and enjoy that ride. Then Allie reminded me to relax and I did so, completely. Her words seemed to be timed perfectly and the sounds gently continued pulling me up the stairs. When she counted levels up to ten, I gently "mind" contracted all of my source and felt the intensity build. When she said, now you're at a new zero, I believed it. I elevated up past 20 and 30 and the real fun began. I realized I had slowly lost most of the feeling of my body while I had gotten insanely relaxed. Soon I felt and visualized what I can only call a loose ball of energy move up my spine. Slowly it climbed all the way to my head. It moved around in my head for awhile then seemed to pour out to a space above me. From there I went through several episodes of incredible openings to even more bliss, with hemispheres of pale colored light illuminating a starless night sky above. Everything continued expanding and my breath became a slow and constant, effortless in-and-out. It was somehow timed to Allie's suggestions and the now magical, encouraging sounds. The hemispheres turned to ever expanding bubbles around me. I felt so attuned, as though I might pass through the veil and speak to Jesus. Ha ha, not today and I understood that, maybe later. I was in such a blissful state that I just didn't care. I wanted to stay right there. Eventually, as the Allie's voice trailed out and the sounds faded, I found myself in a wonderful state of suspended animation. Nothing to contract and not a worry to be had.
I could have spent a few years in that lovely mindset, but life awaited. I had done it! I had found The Stairway and it was beyond beautiful. Along the way I felt deep emotions that my sub conscience was hiding, some happy some sad, but it felt fantastic to have them out. I know what I experienced will change my life. Of that, I am certain and I WILL climb those stairs again.