I'm a 45 m who has been married for over twenty years and I am miserable. I hate my home life. I hate my work life, especially after losing the part time job i absolutely loved. I'm in a dead-end job that doesn't pay enough. I'm able to pay my bills but have next to nothing left over to pay for repairs on my house or car. I feel like I lose everything and everyone that matters. I'm no longer IN love with my wife, not to say I don't care about her but at this point we are pretty much roommates. I am in love with another woman who I can't figure out if she actually cares about me or not. And all of my stress over everything above along with other stuff is causing me to shut down and not take care of things I need to. I feel like my life is falling apart and there is no path to getting back to a semi-normal, happy place. I'm just ready to shut down but I need to keep moving forward, just not sure how

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this.

Last night i(17tm) killed myself in my nightmare. i have ptsd and get nightmares every night ranging from recreations of my trauma to very strange nightmares that wouldn't make sense in the real world. My nightmare wasn't one that recounted a specific trauma, but at the end i ended up having to kill myself. it was graphic and i wont go into too much detail but the main thing is i was completely unable to move/feel after my head hit the ground. My thoughts and sight were foggy and i woke up when i fully passed away. I've had dreams where i die before and it's hurt and sucked and all that stuff but this time when i woke up i was unable to move and feel anything, i couldn't see and my thoughts were foggy. i was unable to turn off my very loud and disruptive alarm because I couldn't move. I have never experienced sleep paralysis before and it lasted around thirty minutes to an hour.

Clearly, i can move now, but i have to think about every breath, and I don't genuinely believe that I'm alive. I have felt this way after similar nightmares before, but the feeling has gone away quickly and I've recovered fine. I still don't believe I'm alive and I don't know if i should say goodbye to my family while my body is still moving or if i should try to go on like normal even though it doesn't matter because I'm dead.

I want to tell my boyfriend about this but i worry he won't understand. the thought of trying to talk to him makes me upset because I'm dead and it'll only hurt him more when he realizes too that I'm deceased.

I know that because my body is moving and that my brain is working that i should be alive but i just genuinely don't believe i am. I'm not sure what to do.

Back to reddit for life changing advice again... yay...

In short, I (F22) got a really good job in landscape architecture as an apprentice, where I work in a relatively nice office and the people are lovely. So what's wrong?

I HATE working in the city.

It's not just being in a city, but it is one of the roughest in the country, and even though I stay in the office the whole time, I cannot shake the feeling of dread and misery. The commute is long, and although it's not terrible, I'd rather be able to drive than take the train.

I want to quit and go back to my old job for a while, but I'm just scared that i will never get this opportunity again but at the same time I don't think I'll last anyway. I have only been there for 3 months, and it has taken a large toll on my mental health. I'm hoping to have another job in the same industry lined up, but they just won't get back to me, which I would take as a rejection had they not said to keep getting in touch in the meeting.

If there is a place at my old job, I couldn't stay there long, as it's not stable and there's no progression. Otherwise I would be jobless, which i do have the privilege of being able to afford, but in this job market, I fear it would take a very long time to get another job, and I would have to take a dead end job I hate even more.

So reddit, what should I do?

TL;DR: I love the job but hate the location so much that it affects my mental health enough to the point I want to quit. But I'm scared I won't get this opportunity anywhere else. What do i do?

Hi everyone,

​Lately, I’ve been feeling completely overwhelmed by a mix of deep nostalgia, grief, and melancholy. I’m looking for some recognition, advice, or perspective on how to cope when the past constantly pulls at you.

​I’m 20yo and naturally a very empathetic and sensitive person; I absorb atmospheres and memories intensely, and I miss things way faster and deeper than most people around me seem to. But lately, it feels like the entire foundation beneath my life has crumbled away.

​Growing up, I went through two divorces and moved houses eight different times, meaning a stable, consistent home was repeatedly disrupted. On top of that, the heavy blows just keep piling up: losing a friend to suicide, a parent having a TIA (mini-stroke) which was a terrifying wake-up call about how fragile life is, and no longer seeing my stepbrother due to family issues.

I still miss my grandparents who passed away, and more recently my great-uncle and godmother died from cancer. Even the recent loss of my childhood cat still hurts every single day. Seeing everyone around me get older and more vulnerable is terrifying. I simply miss everything about how safe, carefree, and complete life used to feel. I just miss the past so much.

​Because these losses keep stacking up, my mind constantly retreats into the past. Back to the days of endless gaming, zero real responsibilities, and always having my friends around. Now, that era is gone. My friends all seem to have their future plans figured out, while I feel completely stuck: I dislike my studies, I dislike my current internship, and I have no clue what I want to do. Add the end of summer and the transition into dark, colder months (which always triggers seasonal depression for me), and it feels suffocating.

​Whenever it gets quiet in the evenings, that nostalgia hits brutally hard. It feels like an actual physical ache for everything that is over and will never come back.

​My questions to you:

​Does anyone else experience nostalgia not as a warm feeling, but as genuine emotional pain triggered by stacked losses, moves, and divorces?

​How do you accept that the carefree days are truly over when your current life and future feel so uncertain?

​How do you get through those quiet evenings when the ache for the past completely takes over?

​Thank you for reading and for any thoughts you can share.

I have this friend as i prefer not to call him by his name im gonna call him "paul". Me and paul met the first time at scholl we was 12 in like 1 year we became really good friend at some point i arrive at the point that we i see a "me and bro video" i think about him. As we are really good friend. He was really good and funny until the first year of hight school started. At the start i use to tought that it was only some anxiety for the start of the new school. And he was never that bad as now he was perfectly supportable. But in the last 2 years the situation become worse and worse. He stars to become really nervous. Everytime we argue about something he never wants to be wrong and he prefer instead to repeat the same thing forgetting wath i say before. Everytime i ask him to hang out he wants to do only what he wants or instead EVEN IF HE ASK ME want to do only what he likes. And is like this with everything thing we do. Hang out, gaming, friendly side quest and things like that. Everytime that i want to do something new he replyes basicaly: "or we do what i want or you can do it alone". And the same with everything. He don't want to do nothing that he is not good at it the second after he start it. And every time i say to him "bro or you study or you are gonna lose the year" instead of even try to hear me he prefer to ALMOST CRY instead of listening to a friendly advice. And this really affect me as every time i want to explore do new things do side quest or do something new i expect to go with him and replyes no every time and i end up not doing anything. Expecialy the last period (this summer basicaly) this became really bad. That bad that he start to say that it was ME that i don't want to hang out in the summer when every single day that i ask him to do something new the immediate answer was no. And every time i try to talk to him he act like a kid. Instead of hearing me he prefer to repeat his argumet even if i explain him that he was wrong and most of the time he just repeat what i say or end the discussion before it is finished. Once he even blocked me. And when i say something to him he istantly start so say random thing just for defense the undefensable. And i seriusly start to think that that is the time to leave him on his way. We had very good time togheter but as i am the only friends he have as a person(at least i think like this)That I am usually very very patient i think i am creating a person who is bad because i let treat him as most of the people will and not used to allow him(he lose the friends that he make at the middle scholl). And at this point i think that this friendship is bad for both of us. Him because i let him treat me way too bad for a normal people and i want him to bild also new REAL friends not only skipable side character. And for me because i can't crush out every 3 week. And also the last period i saw him act like he was superior like "this on nothing" "where i want or you can go alone" and i think is also bad for me because all this stop me to make the beautyfull things that i want to do with my life that he don't want even talk about. Soo i need the advice for finaly decide if slowly leave him, do a lot less thing with him or try to found a solution. If you have any domand you can ask me, no problem at all.

So I’m 22 years old and I’m from Serbia. I come from a small town where there aren’t many job opportunities, so I decided to come to Germany because my mom and dad are here. I thought working as a truck driver would be a good way to make some money and build a better future for myself.

I worked as a truck driver for a while, but I eventually realised that it’s just not for me. I tend to overthink everything, and driving such a big vehicle under that kind of pressure was causing me a lot of stress, so I decided to quit.

I actually have opportunities to get back behind the wheel and work as a truck driver again, but honestly, I don’t think I can mentally handle doing it anymore. The stress and constant overthinking while driving are just too much for me, and I don’t want to force myself back into something that I already know isn’t good for me.

At this point, I feel like my options are either to force myself to go back to truck driving just so I can stay here, or accept that it might not work out and go back to Serbia. I really don’t know what the right decision is.

I’m still young and I really want to stay in Germany and figure something out, but I’m kind of lost right now.

I am 24 years old reaching 25, am doing a side job which i am not happy about. need help in gaining proper job but i dont know what i like and shat my ambition is and what i really like.

Currently facing a stage of depression, really unhappy with my life and totally alone got no friends to depend on or any family. The people who call me are those who want done by me or those who wanna use me.

I need a proper advice and a proper path way in life.

Having some knowledge is good,but if your parents trying hard to make you proud and spending lot of money for your studies and you keep failing can make them hurt , so you better have to decide now!!!

i don’t know what to do. im f18. i’m a full time worker and full time student. i’m already behind on classwork. i can’t afford the 150 dollar subscription to be able to complete my homework. i have school in two hours. my boyfriend who is been dating for 1 year and 4 months doesn’t wanna live with me anymore. he’s getting an on campus dorm. no matter how much crying, breaking up and everything else i’ve tried he’s still leaving. i have to pay the rent by myself. live in our apartment by myself. do everything by myself. both my parents are dead. i have nobody else to rely on. my parents money is being withheld from me. my fridge is empty. i’m ugly. the only thing keeping me here is this old dog i’ve had since before mu parents died. his names nibby. i love my dog. i don’t want him to have to live without me. any advice on how to unfuck my life? atleast for long enough to keep myself afloat until he dies. he’s all i really have to live for. i don’t know what to do anymore

Used to be bold and irreverent. Now I think too much what other people think or feel. How to achieve the elusive balance? I wanna feel like a beast again! I’m seriously desperate for wisdom from those who get it.

Thanks much in advance!

How do I get through both these next two month and, to a lesser extent, today?

Little backstory, this year has been destroying me over and over. Few big problems have all stacked at once and I don’t know how to deal anymore

Problem 1) At the beginning of this year I [26M] starting dealing with pain in my legs and in my testis, spent months and months doing every kind of test, having people shove medical devices all over my junk, spent probably a total of a week and a half in the hospital in total just trying to figure out what’s wrong since January. Cut to May, they figure out it’s likely a partial testical torsion I’ve been experiencing on and off (primarily on) causing me to feel like I’ve been sacked pretty much constantly for months. Got the option to try and take antibiotics and see if things could clear up without cutting into my bits, nothing has worked so cut to now, I’m still struggling to work a full shift I’m in so much pain and discomfort 9 months later and I pretty much have to either a) wait a month for my next urologist’s appointment to confirm I need my junk sliced open assuming my pain doesn’t go above a certain threshold or b) just go to the ER anytime and get the surgery done as it’s an serious emergency situation if things get too painful/worse. Timetable for being seen by the urologist and getting this finally fixed is in the next month which after 9 months of pain feels great, except everything else going wrong this month.

Problem 2) Wisdom tooth removal. A few weeks back started feeling a pain in mouth, went to the dentist and had some X-rays and surprise! My wisdom tooth has poked 2 holes through my gums so I have essentially 2 exposed wounds at the back of mouth stopping me from eating almost anything hard/crunchy/spicy/acidic that hurts like hell. Been managing the pain best I can for it and had to change my diet to accommodate not being able to chew properly which has been tough. The appointment to get my wisdom teeth removed is happening in a few weeks, just a week and a half prior to me getting to having a final test to confirm I have to have my balls cut open and sewed to itself.

Problem 2.5) Directly related to my wisdom tooth, needing to not smoke during my recoveries as it’ll likely cause dry socket, screwing me even more. Been smoking since I was 18, used it as an unhealthy crutch for years and have hated doing it for years, but now knowing I need to stop has made it so much harder to stop, I feel like a lunatic how shaky I get without it and I hate how dependant I am on it especially now needing to stop on a timetable, I keep relapsing and just feeling worse and spiralling over smoking again sometimes a few hours even after I throw my stuff away and try to stop I’m right back at the store buying more.

Problem 3) Breakup of a 4.5 year long relationship at the same time. Found out a day before my mouth started hurting that my girlfriend whom I live with in a small one bed apartment doesn’t love me anymore and doesn’t want to be with me anymore. We had problems for a while a would just argue over everything. It certainly came as a shock initially but honestly I’ve also been pretty unhappy for months and months and hoped it would go away, we had great moments in our time together but I can look back and say overall I was more unhappy and uncertain if I wanted to keep things going than times where I was happy and certain. There was a bit there when I found out all three of these things were happening so close together that I tried to talk to my ex and I told her that in all the time we’ve known each other, if there was any time I need her, it’s now. Didn’t fix anything and she clearly still doesn’t want anything to do with me unless it’s to complain about her boss or coworkers for 5 minutes than just leaves and hides away in our bedroom or goes out all day and night. But she said that she would stay in the apartment for the next couple months while I literally get back on my feet considering i will have to pack all my stuff, find a new place and move all while I struggle to even bend down and lift a 4L of milk at this time considering the timing is exactly when I need to get two different surgeries. And while I appreciate that she’s sticking around to help with the bills so I don’t end up on the streets, the next problem is making it difficult for me to even be in the same household as her, let alone share a bed for the next two months while I go through hell until I can finally get out of here.

Problem 4) So it’s been maybe 2 weeks since we spoke and said we don’t want to do this anymore but decided to stay in the apartment temporarily until post surgeries. Went to bed late last night and she left her phone on my pillow so I just went to move it to her side table on her side of the bed and plug it in thinking it would be nice, I see her lock screen and she’s already got some guy and her as her lock screen picture. I didn’t go through her phone, just saw the picture, put the phone down and left the house and sat at a mall parking lot at 3:30am having no where to go. Before I left however, I made a poor choice and I saw she left out a notebook of hers and idk why, but I snooped and saw she was writing notes to him and saying how she was sorry she was texting him so much and for sending so many gifts and pictures. For months I noticed she checked out, wasn’t around, wouldn’t check in and would only talk when she needed to rant about work, would only help around the house if I begged and even then she threw and fit every time, all while she’s showing she cares and giving that attention I’ve been trying to get to someone else. I know neither of us wanted to keep this going, it wasn’t working and that was obvious for some time but boy does that hurt. I’ve spent days on days feeling so heartbroken, even knowing it’s what I want, I truly loved this girl so much and was thrown at how composed she’s been while she’s been home, no crying or sad movies or anything, she’s just been fine and it was bugging me how she flipped the switch so fast cause I’m devastated. A month ago we were talking about what we would want to name our babies and now… it’s all gone and she’s already moved on? We still share a bed together, haven’t begun splitting our stuff or packing, and she’s already moved on to some other dude? The life we built together these last 3 years isn’t even in the ground yet, it’s still all around us, and she’s already in the honeymoon phase with someone else while I’m mourning the loss of the person last month I thought I’d wake up to forever.

Finally, Problem 5) I don’t have anyone I can talk to. I’m trying to get into therapy but I don’t start that until early next week. I don’t have friends, my social media is filled with people I haven’t spoken to in 5+ years, and my phone contacts is only work people I’ve realized. Always having my ex around, I never really felt the pull to go out and make friends, all my hobbies are solo indoors hobbies because if I needed to talk to someone, I had my ex which was enough. Now I can’t speak with her even and I’m so goddamn lonely that this past week at night I’ve just gone outside to look at cars pass by so I don’t feel so alone (doesn’t help). I’m not really close with any of my coworkers beyond one person BUT I’m scared if I tell them “hey I could really use a friend to talk to” that they’ll just prefer me as a work friend which is going to make me feel so much more alone that I would rather keep that one special coworker just a work friend so I don’t lose my only work friend too. I desperately just want to talk to someone and idk maybe get advice or just be listened to, or even to know that I’m just not as alone as I feel.

So I decided to post this here, not sure what I’m really expecting, needed to get this off my chest and just ask anyone really, how do I get through this couple months? I know that if I bring up to my ex that I know she’s seeing someone else, she will take her stuff and screw me over with no notice or warning so I know already I have to keep that nugget of info buried deep so I don’t put myself out of a home when I’m physically unable to move. But how would you cope with the loneliness? How do I meet people to be friends if outdoors hobbies aren’t possible currently? How do I hide for like 2 months that I know what I know? It’s my ex’s birthday today and she asked me to pickup a couple things cause I gotta go shopping later, how do I not tell her to go to hell since it would sorta tip off that I know more than I should.

At this point, with everything, I don’t even know how to get through the day.

I’m getting an abortion today but I’m on edge about my decision. I want this baby but financially I don’t think I’m able to have my baby. I don’t want to give my baby an unfair childhood. I don’t know if what im about to do is the right decision. My partner is in full support of whatever I choose to do but ultimately idk what choice to make. Listen to my heart or listen to my brain? Think emotionally or logically?

I’m a women who recently moved to Miami because I wanted a change in my life. I wanted to do better an felt that leaving my hometown would help. And it has. Thankfully i moved in with my boyfriend. But I can’t help but miss my family. Anyways , I’m 21 turning 22 in like 2 months. I just started school and I’m going to be a radiology technician. I’ll be done by the time I’m 24. I can’t help but feel like I wasted so much time doing stupid shit. I saved a bit of money to come here. . financially I haven’t been doing the best and I feel as if I should’ve planned way better. I have a job but I don’t get paid very well hourly and to mention it is very far from my house. I feel like I’m so late I should have more. I’ve truly been beating myself up over it and been in a state of constant anxiety. I feel like I sometimes may weigh my partner down bc I came out here impulsively without much of a plan. I feel like I’m getting depressed or bored I don’t even know anymore.
What can I do to help myself?

Just to provide a little context on my family relationship and dynamics: I have 3 siblings. 2 older brothers and a younger brother. My younger brother has a different father from the rest of us and we have a 13y age gap. I just turned 21.

I am naturally a pretty reserved and introverted person, so I don’t open up to people easily and unfortunately, do not have a close relationship with my stepfather. (We also don’t have much opportunities to interact due to drastically different schedules) On the other hand, I have a very close bond w my two older brothers as we all grew up together with them being the father figures in my life. I also only have an age difference of 1-2y from them.

My older brothers and I grew up in an environment that required us to mature quickly and become responsible for ourselves and minor household chores at a very young age. We didn’t have a great relationship with our dad or any other relatives really. Our ties with that side of the family was pretty much completely cut off when we were young. We were also struggling financially and did not have much as my mom was a single mother. My little brother was born at a time when our situation improved greatly and my mom decided to raise him through gentle parenting. I wouldn’t say that we are extremely financially well off now, but I do consider him as privileged. He is currently 8yo, has his own ipad, phone and laptop. He has boxes (and i mean BOXES) of toys that he would beg to buy only to play w it once and not touch ever again.

I understand completely that our different situations will lead to an obvious difference in our upbringings. And because of our large age gap, I am aware that our interests and mindset are likely to not match. It also means that our time schedules are different in the sense that I’m usually at work or college. (Don’t spend as much time together like I did w my older brothers) That doesn’t mean that I dislike him in any way whatsoever. In fact, I was practically the primary babysitter from when he was an infant to his toddler years. However, as he grew older, there’s an increasingly obvious wall between us.

I’ve noticed that in the little time that we do spend together, I will often reprimand him for his rude behavior or attitude towards my mom. I understand that he is still a child, but I don’t wish for him to grow up with a privileged and spoiled mindset. I often find him saying incredibly insensitive remarks not only about sensitive topics, but also to our mom. He is ALWAYS talking back to us, especially when we are talking to him about his behavior. It will usually end w him saying stuff like “I don’t understand. You don’t know English.” (my mother’s first language isn’t english, but she tries to communicate w it as much as possible) That is only a small example of his behavior at home. Often times, I will be the one confronting and trying to correct him when he does such things. This results in us always getting into arguments or banters.

My mother and brothers are unwilling to engage in such conversations with my younger brother and will often ask for it to be dropped. They say that they understand that his behavior is an issue, but that the way I go about it isn’t right. They’ve mentioned that I’m always criticizing him and it seems like I dislike him.

Don’t get me wrong. He’s a very smart kid and has always been interested in history and landmarks since he was a toddler. I don’t expect him to understand broad and major world concepts. I just wish that he has basic respect and manners. I don’t want to project my childhood onto him, and I definitely don’t want our relationship to be strained. I’m at a loss and not sure how to go about this to improve our relationship. I’m trying my best.

And just to clarify, I don’t hate him. I love him a lot. My family means the absolute world to me.

This might be a long story to some. I apologize in advance!

So about a year ago I lost a good job. Throughout the past year I struggled to land another good one. I did a lot of gig like Doordash and Uber to make ends meet and for the most part I pulled it off. I did manage to get behind on the bills and I cut anything that was unnecessary to save money. I have a family of 4 and being the sole provider was tough to say the least but I don't regret anything and would go through hell over and over again for my wife and kids.

A couple of months ago I ended up losing my car and about a month and a half after that I lost my house. My wife and kids had to move into her mother's house and I ended up moving into a mens shelter because there wasn't enough room for me to stay with my family. I've been married for 20 years and becoming separated from my family has been one of the hardest parts of this. I have never been away from them like this. The only shelter that could take me was located 45 minutes away from them. Not having a car to visit and not being able to reliably be there for my wife has caused stress and tension in my marriage. Things are now extremely complicated for us and it could end up crashing my marriage all together. This has added a new level of depression into my already depressed mind. I am only 37m and this marriage has been basically all I know up until this point.

The separation anxiety and the potential loss of my marriage has really messed me up. I'm a social person by nature and having my family and kids around was more than good enough to fulfill my needs of being able to talk to someone and have someone always around me. Now it's the complete opposite. I don't really have any friends at all due to being a father and being home all the time with my family. I have no one to talk to or hang out with or anything like that, that typical person may have to help cope with everything so I sit in silence a lot and dwell on everything that's going on. It's a pretty rough situation for me and the longer this goes on the worse I feel. I could use some new friends and someone to talk to again. It's all new to me considering the 20 years I've spent around my family. So what do I do? What's the best way to cope and distract myself from this already horrible situation. I'm limited on how I can get around and meet with folks for outings and stuff.

I need help finding or making any friends and it sounds stupid I'm sure but I'm not a solitary person and this distance and separation is making me feel like it's the worst I've ever felt in my life period. I feel lost, isolated, empty and I'm in need of some kind of communication, happiness, and joy somehow. So where do I begin? How do I branch out again and find these things while also fighting through the depression and pressure I feel that keeps me to myself. I'm truly lost and I don't know what to do.

Any help with any of this is so greatly appreciated! Like you have no idea. Making a post like this is so alien to me considering I don't spend much time on social media, or I didn't until now. This experience is slowly getting me more involved online. But I just don't know what to do or where to go online to fulfill what I'm looking for.

So thank you for reading this and if you're able to help guide me in the right direction, you have no idea how helpful it would be. And if you're also looking for a new friend, I'm in the market for that too right now and maybe that could be a good thing! Who knows!

So I was talking to this one guy for a abit not sure how long and then he started texting less and then stopped replying. I get he lost interest but I would’ve preferred if he would just tell me that he did, and not have me looking like a desperate person after him or waiting for him you know? Instead he watches all my Instagram stories. He just posted him kissing his girl on his story.

I have the worst fucking luck with men. Every time here’s a few examples.. at this point I should quit and stop completely:

1 guy liked him we had deep convos he talked to me abt his life vented cried on calls and everything the whole shabang. He gets this one call that his twin passed away, he takes time off completely understandable, I let him know I’ll always be here no matter what. I texted him a few times to check up on him no replies, I’m like “ok well his twin died so he’s just in a state of mind where’s he’s not himself.” A few months later no replies just left on read or “k” type of replies, and I posted a note on insta “I wanna kiss girllll” (I’m bi 😭) he gets so pissed off at me he literally sent me huge paragraphs and blocked me after I argued with him abt it. mind you we haven’t texted in like 3 months.

Guy #2 weeks talked for a while he wanted to meet up but I’m a light weight he didn’t know this but after my third drink i get sleepy and too relaxed and shi, and he said that we would go to the movies and he’ll get us a whole case of alcohol and I drink 6 and he drinks 6 and then after the movie we go for night drives and dinner. I was down to go to the movies but I never met him before and I wasn’t gonna be alone with him in his car after drinking. No maam I rejected that with help by bestie, anyways we made plans to meet midday like 5pm? At the open mall where alot of people go, and he ghosted me claiming he had to go out of the country for business and keeps doing that and still hits me up randomly.

Guy#3 (fuck him): gives me a sob fucking story, “I was mad at the girl I was talking to bc she keeps ghosting me and blah blah blah” so that’s why he went on apps and talked with me for a few weeks. I texted “k” and blocked him after he said that and 2 weeks later he messages me on WhatsApp asking to unblock him so he can talk to me claiming he is over her and wants to try with me, obviously I’m like sure but I don’t trust a thing he says. And after a few weeks of texting HE GHOSTS COMPLETELY.

Then there’s the guy from earlier that I first mentioned. Anyways What’s fucking wrong with meeee? What should I do? Like do I need to go and do a fucking revenge glo up? Get fucking skinny? I’m just so doneeeee. I just want love, I’m literally so loyal and guess they don’t want thatttt.

I’m M21 and I’m dealing with so much change which has always been hard for me. For some context about a year ago I was dealing with something similar but in a good way, I just moved out with my girlfriend of 3 years and got a new job and everything was good. My new job and moving out was kinda to get used to but I liked it. Fast forward 11 months later and me and my girlfriend moved back home because we weren’t able to save much while moved out. Also after a month moved back she said she wants to go on a break which seems like she wants to break up. Also I’m going for a new job that will pay a lot more but it is gonna be hard it’s a blue collar job.

Basically a couple years ago I worked at Panera and liked it, I had a lot of friends there and that’s where I met my girlfriend too. I hang out and did a lot and life was good, and I did good in my college classes.

Then I thought I was entering a new era I moved, got a desk job, and bought a ring to propose.

In what seemed like a couple months I’m gonna be single, with a new scary job, and idk what to think.

I know this is part of growing up but it feels like everything is hitting all at once

I’m so stuck, lost, and scared about the future. I don’t know if any of this is even worth fighting for anymore. I’m exhausted and tired, even though I’ve done absolutely nothing with my life.

I’m m17, and honestly, my life has been a shitshow from the very beginning. I grew up watching my dad beat the shit out of my mom. I was in and out of foster care, where I was sexually assaulted by an older kid. I was admitted to multiple mental hospitals and stayed for up to six months at a time. I also grew up around my drug addicted, alcoholic aunt. I developed intense depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues becoming increasingly apparent from the age of 9. But the worst part is that I was illegally dropped out of school at the beginning of 8th grade, so I basically have no education.

Dropping out is the worst regret of my life. I should have never been given the option to stop school. It worsened everything, and I mean everything. My town is so small and rural, so having no school basically took away my life. No socialization gave me bad social anxiety and worsened my confidence. And I started delving into drugs as well, cigarettes, vapes, weed, cough medicine, etc.

In a month I am going to be 18, and I feel like I’m too far behind to make something of my life. All my days are the same, scroll, watch tv, eat, sleep, repeat. I’ve been wanting to die since I can remember but it’s all starting to feel extra real now. I’m so lost. When I was younger I vividly remember staring at cars on the road and wishing so hard I could swap lives with the people in the cars. I’ve known the worthlessness of my life since I was born

What should I do ?

Because my mind keeps saying suicide.

Hi, there. I really don't ask strangers for some advice but this time i think its really important. Please forgive my grammar cuz I don't usually write posts. I am using made-up names for privacy. Please bear with me

The thing is I am actually a student in University some named Y. There is one best friend ( or whom i thought was my best friend ), let him name as A. A was actually very nice for me in starting or even till now, he's kinda sober, helpful but I just don't know what to do with him. you'll know later

A was my batchmate so we got really nice to each other, he often kinda insults me in a fun way which i take fun way outside, but deep down i felt sorry for myself as they were like he was insulting me of my insecurities but laughed it off. Later one random day one girl (let her name be G) texted me in instagram seemingly from out batch that G had crush on me and liked her. I knew it would be some sort of catfish or such, but i kept chatting and it went on for approx a week or so. Later when i thought of meeting her somewhere or so, then i got to know that G was actually A disguised as Girl in insta with some name of random girl in our batch. I'd never thought he'd play with my feelings this way cuz I laterally trusted him so much. A was kinda better in studies than me and I will agree to that. I wouldn't agree formally that we had friendly rivalry. He always toys with me like i am just a child to be messed with like annoying or such. Like once he borrowed money and refused to return unless i got really angry.

Now later one year passed. we got like back like good friends, nice trust or so like as if nothing happened. I found another nice friend from our batch like, let's name him B for now. A, myself and B got along really well. Now recently they tried to play with me by making another fake account, this time it seemed genuine with few amount of followers so it may seem genuine to anyone. it was purely professional as she ( disguised by plan by both A & B to mess with me ), this time i really didn't involve much but one thing is for sure that their plan didn't work this time since i was aware and be strictly professional. + one thing is that I usually don't talk, it doesn't mean I laterally don't talk, I try to do but they just talk like a girl who isn't interested in me, Dry replies, maybe sometimes talking with me due to some need..etc. I live in dorm with those people, they play games at night and i genuinely hate playing and i don't want to do another hobby just to socialize with them.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm around people, but I'm not really part of anything.And I think that's why these fake accounts hurt more than they probably realize.

It feels like they are indirectly attacking an insecurity I already have: the feeling that maybe nobody genuinely wants to talk to me, and that if someone suddenly shows interest in me, it has to be a joke or a prank.

I'm genuinely angry right now. Part of me has thought about revenge. Because we all have technical backgrounds, I know there are ways I could retaliate that would go far beyond a harmless prank and genuinely cause problems for them.

The thought sometimes feels satisfying because I want them to understand what it feels like when someone deliberately messes with something you care about.

But I also know that would be taking things way too far.

I don't want one moment of anger to make me do something stupid or become someone who deliberately causes serious damage just because I was hurt. That's actually one of the reasons I'm writing this here instead of immediately acting on my anger.

The confusing part is that A isn't entirely a bad friend.

He's helped me several times. He can genuinely be nice. B can also be a good friend. We have good memories together.

That's what makes this so confusing for me.

If they were completely terrible people, walking away would be easy. But they're not. At the same time, I don't know if I've been tolerating things that genuinely hurt me simply because I'm scared of losing friendships.

Am I overreacting?

Are these actually harmless pranks that I'm taking too personally, or is it reasonable for me to feel hurt by them?

What would you honestly do if you were in my position right now?

Would you confront them? Distance yourself? Forgive them but set clear boundaries? Or simply accept that this is how they are?

I genuinely want honest opinions. Even if you think I'm the one in the wrong, please tell me honestly.

I think I just need someone outside this entire situation to help me see it clearly.

I've been working a 9-6 job for 5 years now with a basic salary at different companies, but it's always been a desk job, not physically draining. But that's not making me enough money, especially with growing expenses. Will it be a dumb decision to leave an easy job in my home country and move abroad for a job that's physically draining and repetitive, completely out of career? But allows me to save money

I am 19 years old this year. Recently, I have been feeling very anxious and have started to doubt myself. I have been working hard on my studies, but no matter how much effort I put in, it feels like I am just pretending to study every day, as if I am not making any progress and am stuck in the same place. Over time, this has made me feel powerless and exhausted.

When I see the children of my relatives and people around me continuing their education and moving forward, I feel like I have not changed or achieved anything. I feel lost, confused, and extremely anxious. I don’t know what I should do

She was my first and only true love so far, and me hers.

For context: my ex and I met in middle school, 8th grade and quickly became very close friends. We shared laughs, jokes and were texting all the time and really liked each other. After about 8 months of this, I finally asked her to be my girlfriend at the start of freshmen year. Our relationship quickly hit a wall when her parents read our texts (me being mean in a teasing way, as well as sexual texts) and decided that I was verbally abusive and simply wanted her for 18+ activities. This could not have been farther from the truth. We told them we broke up and kept dating in secret for 2 years. My parents also did not approve of the relationship due to it being a biracial relationship and my dad did not talk to me for a month until I lied and said we broke up. (Same time period as when her parents found out). So for the next two years her and I dated in secret, rarely seeing each other out of school, only at group hangouts a handful of times. Nevertheless we were closer than humanly possible with each other and spent every day together, and all day every day texting when we were apart. There were absolutely zero boundaries between us. I was her and she was me. This lead to me being controlling of her as well as both of us becoming extremely codependent. We argued a decent amount, but underneath that we loved and cared for eachother so strongly we failed to see it was not working out until it reached a breaking point.

I do not want to get into the details of the specific event that lead to the breakup as it was very messy, but overall, it was an action that I took that caused her to end it. (No cheating or anything like that don’t worry.) we talked one last time a week after this event , with me thinking we’d be able to save it but her only confirming and solidifying the breakup. We embraced, held each other crying together for an hour, and shared our final kiss.

Unfortunately we broke up the 4 days into our junior year. The timing could not have been worse and completely wrecked the entire school year for me.

The aftermath was a disaster. For the following 5 weeks she gave mixed signals as if she did not know how to be apart. Neither of us did. We even ended up having a long conversation at the end of those 5 weeks and shared another kiss. The following week she became extremely distant and seemed to be avoiding me. At the end of that week during the weekend she decided to get with my friend and I found out the next day from a friend. It destroyed me, especially after thinking I could save us following the good 5 weeks we had been having.

The following 4 months were nothing but hell for me. I got into drugs to try to escape the pain that never went away. Prior to this I was the cleanest person ever, never drank never smoked, and could never even dream of touching substances. This period lead to my friends distancing themselves from me after I pushed them away for trying to get me out of it.

Until 5 months later, my ex came back into my life. It started with plenty of eye contact in the halls for a week (after pretending I didn’t exist for 5 months) which then lead to a conversation. That conversation was the first time we had talked in months and honestly it felt like zero time had passed and nothing happened between us. Once again , it ended in a long passionate kiss. That night she texted my friend she had been hooking up with to tell him she couldn’t talk to him anymore.

Of course this news left me happier than ever, thinking we had a chance at getting together. The following 5 weeks her and I slowly talked more and more here and there, she would call me and we would fall asleep together after talking for hours on the phone. Unfortunately, quite unexpectedly she one day decided she could do it anymore. I didn’t even hear it from her but she decided to have someone else tell me to leave her alone. I had done nothing to prompt this. I gave it a week and called her to see what happened and she said it’s just not what she needed in life at the moment and acknowledged how leading me on hurt me and said she was sorry. I was hurt but I understood and we ended the call after about half an hour on “good terms”.

That was about 5-6 months ago in April of this year. We have not talked since then, and every time we pass each other there I try to pretend not to notice and she does the same.

She had left me in a constant state of anxiety and stress until our final phone call where I finally felt that our story had ended and I got closure. There was nothing left to chase. The constant ache and pain had finally gone away. It became more of a sad, nostalgic, and distant memory. Life distracted me and I kept busy and felt that I was finally beginning to be able to enjoy life again. However her memory never fully left, and without fail, multiple times per day, to this day, I have thoughts of her.

They never cause pain or distress and they are more of a neutral passing thought. Yet every now and then, once a month or so, if I dig deep enough and think about it long enough, I end up crying for hours and crying myself to sleep thinking about her.

Our one year breakup anniversary was three days ago. My senior year just started last week and I have been seeing her multiple days a week, I even share a class with her. She has not left my head a single day in the last year since we have been apart.

I know we will not get together again, and I know her and I are such different people now and the girl I fell in love with 3 years ago no longer exists, but she won’t leave my head.

Will this ever end? Will I ever stop thinking about her every day here and there? She is typically one of the first few thoughts in my head when I wake up still. Even tho I no longer love her or see her like that.

When will this end and how can I move on.

TL;DR: got dumped by first love I was codependent and it’s been a year and I still think abt her every day. How and when will this end.

Hi! I am a fresh grad (21F), and I have been regretting my life decisions lately. I have been applying to multiple jobs for 3months now. I have been offered a job twice. First, they offered me a 24k pesos, but the benefits and travel time will take toll on my health (2-2.5hrs travel to go to the office and 7 am to 6pm shift). Second is 20.5k pesos a month (1.5hrs travel to go to the office but 8am-5pm). I rejected both since transpo for the first and second job would cost almost half of my salary. I have always been ambitious with my life goals. It's just that, I feel so guilty about still not having a job and helping my family. I dont know what to feel and think anymore. I feel so frustrated with myself.

I used to be good in a particular said sport, Captain of the team and selected to play for a big local club. Then COVID struck and I did play for 2 years. When I came back to the game, I was never the same. Fast forward to today, I feel lethargic when performing. My confidence is now very low in the game. I struggle to find enjoyment in the game I love and I was good at growing up.

I also was a high achieving student in high school. One of the stand put performers in school actually. However, I'm in college I am now a shadow of my former self. I feel like I have gotten worse than I was in high school. I'm struggling to attain a very high distinction. I'm currently languishing around a 3.59 GPA. Additionally, I'm in my third year without a specific direction in my life. I failed to get the internship I wanted over the summer or any meaningful one to be honest.

I feel like my poor performances in two of the most important aspects of my life have negatively impacted my overall quality of life. I'm more anxious than ever, and can't handle defeats any longer. I physically look lost.

How do I turn my life back, perform better and feel proud of myself.