I (29F) have been with my fiancé "Ethan" (31M) for 3 years. We're getting married next month. I've always known he's close with his ex-girlfriend "Megan" (30F). They dated for 2 years in college and have been friends for a long time.

I've been trying to be cool about it. I've met Megan a few times and she's always been friendly enough. But something she said a couple months ago has been eating at me.

We were at a small dinner party with friends. I was talking about our wedding plans and how excited I was when Megan looked at me and said, "That's cute." Then she said, "You know, Ethan and I always talked about getting married one day. He'll always love me more, but I'm sure you two will be happy."

Everyone went quiet. I didn't know what to say. I just stared at her. Ethan was in the other room and didn't hear it.

I didn't bring it up for a few weeks. I tried to let it go. But every time I think about her being at our wedding, I feel sick. So I finally told Ethan what happened.

He was surprised and said he didn't think she would say something like that. But then he said, "I'm sure she was just joking. She's like that sometimes. I don't think she meant any harm."

I told him I don't want her at the wedding. I can't have someone in the room who said that to me on the most important day of my life. I asked him to uninvite her.

He said I was "overreacting" and "reading too much into it." He said she's a part of his friend group and uninviting her would be awkward for everyone. He said he'll talk to her and tell her to be more careful with her words, but he won't disinvite her.

I told him this is supposed to be about us and she made it clear she doesn't support that. He said I'm being jealous and insecure.

Now we're fighting every night. AITA?

I, 43F, decided a few weeks ago that I wanted to get a Brazilian wax. I told my, 43M, husband my plans and when it was scheduled. He never said a word for or against it prior to me having the appointment. I go to the wax appointment last Friday and he starts being weird with me immediately after and telling me it was weird that I got it done. Saturday he tells me he watched a video showing how this kind of was is done and that he "shouldn't have done that". He then proceeds to start degrading me and telling me that i disrespected him by having it done because of how I had to be positioned to do it. This has been a knockout fight all weekend with him going as far as telling me I'm a lesbian slut and a piece of shit for disrespecting him like that. I acknowledged that he feels disrespected by this but I still don't feel that I did anything that was disrespectful by getting a wax. I've been getting my legs waxed for the past 2 years so I looked at this as just another wax. Am I wrong for this? Was I disrespectful for getting a Brazilian wax?

Me 33M. Wife 33F. Together 13 years, married 9 years.

We were chatting in the car and somehow got on the conversation of where we would be if we hadn't met each other. My wife said she probably would be divorced from her high school on-off boyfriend that she dated most of HS and a little of college. She then told me the breakup story, and that was it.

I switched topics to breakup stories because I have only been in one other relationship. I had a girlfriend in 5th-6th grade. I'm 6th grade the schools merged to middle school and I forgot I had a GF. Eventually I emailed her to break up with her. The sad/funny part is that it was her dad's email address (she wasn't allowed to have her own at that time).

I told that quick story and said, "I feel kinda guilty about that. If I ever saw her I'd buy her a drink and say sorry". Wife asked how often I think of this, and I said probably a couple times a year.

Wife has been very very very upset stating, "no spouse ever wants to hear that their partner is thinking about an ex, no matter how long ago it was, and that they want to buy them a drink and say sorry!"

I have stated that I don't think of my ex and wanting to have a, "sorry for what I did I wish I could take it all back and see where we may have ended up" chat. Just a quick humorous, "sorry for breaking up via your dad's email. I owe you a drink for that".

No history between us of adultery, talking to exes, talking about exes, going to bars by ourself, etc.

I (35M) have been married to my wife "Laura" (33F) for 7 years. We have two kids. Her family rents a beach house every summer and we always go together. It's a week-long trip and there are about 12 people total.

The problem is my mother-in-law "Patricia" (62F). Every year, she makes a list of "chores" for me. Not for anyone else. Just me. The list includes things like taking out trash, carrying heavy equipment, fixing broken items around the house, unloading the car, setting up beach umbrellas, and doing grocery runs.

I'm always happy to help out, but it's the way she does it. She hands me a printed list on the first day and says "these are your responsibilities." She doesn't ask. She doesn't assign anything to her husband or sons. She just hands me a list like I'm an employee.

It's been seven years of this. I've never complained before because I didn't want to cause drama. But this year, Laura told me about the trip and I said I'm not going.

Laura was shocked. She asked why and I told her. I said I'm tired of being treated like a hired helper. I said if her mom wants to treat me that way, I'll stay home with the kids and she can go alone.

She said I was being "dramatic" and "unfair." She said her mom "doesn't mean anything by it" and she's "just being organized." She said I should just help out like everyone else and not make this a big deal.

I told her no one else has to help out. Just me. Laura said that's not true, but I've been paying attention for years and I know what I'm talking about.

Now she's upset and saying I'm ruining the family vacation. I feel like I'm finally standing up for myself, but everyone's making me feel like I'm the problem.

AITA?

me (18F) and my boyfriend (20M) made love for the first time last week. this was my first time since i was 15, where i lost my virginity to a coworker of mine who was 19 at the time, where i embraced probably the most traumatizing event of my life.

i was a girl who was really desperate to be loved back then, and it drew me in as an easy target for manipulation and it took me a really long time to even be comfortable letting someone touch me again after everything went down. he was a cruel man and seemed to hate me. there were many times where he would grow upset with me and would be unable to finish during intercourse because of "how disgusting i am."

my boyfriend knows about this and has been nothing but loving and supportive to me. he is the sweetest man on earth and i know he loves me more than anything. but i just feel so hurt by him right now. we made love twice that day; the first time he awkwardly pulled out and nodded when i asked if he finished, and fixed himself up before i could even notice anything. the second time, he admitted that he just couldn't get there. i was really disappointed, especially because he seemed really excited about this an initiated it both times. today he admitted to me that he had lied about the first time and just didn't want me to feel bad, which honestly makes me feel worse.

we've been arguing about it, and he was upset that i had compared the situation to my first male partner. i wasn't trying to put him in the same shoes, but i wanted him to understand that it gave me that same gross feeling. like i completely diminished myself to the needs of a man and i couldn't even do that right. i can't help but be upset that he lied, and it feels so humiliating. i don't know if ill be able to bring myself to make love with him again. every time i tell him that, he laughs and jokes that i won't be able to keep my hands to myself, and i keep trying to express how serious i feel about this. it just feels like i keep being brushed off. i know this is an AITAH post, and i am 100% here for judgement, but also open to many advice anyone would be willing to offer me.

I (M 36) think my wife (F 37)has been having an emotional affair. It all started about two months ago when we had a huge fight things got ugly between the both of us. We both tried to address it initially, but couldn’t come to any sort of resolution, so my wife said that she needed “space” because she didn’t feel comfortable talking to me. Then one night I saw a message flash across her phone from WhatsApp. Apparently the message was from someone that I had no idea about who apologized for calling her dramatic. I tried to think nothing of it than a few days later we got into another heated argument, where she demanded that I fix our marriage because she felt like the initial argument was my fault even when I apologized for my part in the argument and also tried to explain to her how there were certain things that she said and did that hurt me, to which she said I was trying to deflect blame and not take responsibility. I then asked her if she happened to be talking to anyone else on the side. She vehemently denied it and me if I was cheating on her. I told her that I wasn’t.

A few days later, I got a text from our bank asking to verify a purchase of $20 for Zendate. Later on, I asked her what was that about and she said that she was trying to help her mother with something on Instagram, which still to this day makes no sense to me. About another week passes and she finally tells me about how she’s been talking to multiple different men online trying to see some friendships because she felt so alone. (this is despite the fact that she has many friends and a huge family that she could’ve talked to about our situation.) She said that she got really close with this one guy in particular over the past two weeks. She went on about how feels like he’s so easy to talk to, that he seems to be the male version of her, and how he acts like a mirror to her. She even went as far as saying that she would be devastated if anything were to happen to him. She even told him that we were “separated” and vented to him about our marriage and the fight we had. Which I definitely didn’t because I don’t like people in my personal business especially complete strangers.

Most recently though, this other person has been in and out of the hospital due to a heart condition and he’s gone days without speaking to her. She feels so sad and distraught over this and yet here I am thinking, “ where is all this energy for me?“. Meanwhile, I’m trying to be there for her still and console her about this other guy that she clearly formed an emotional connection with.

Then one day we had another discussion to what she expressed that I haven’t really been doinganything to fight for our marriage despite all of this. Mind you I have done things like gotten her nice treats given her her space when she asked for it, told her I’m here for her if she wants to talk or feel safe enough to talk, I even offered for both of us to go to the couples therapy to try to work through this yet at every turn she pushed me away. And then told her that I’m not sure if I even wanna continue on romantically because of this newfound relationship in all these other things they have happened. She understandably got upset and felt like I was abandoning her. So now we’re separated and still living together….for now.

So I ask: AITA for feeling this way?

My fiancé (M, 25) and I (F, 23) have to be out of our current rental by October, so finding a new place is really urgent. Recently, we planned to go look at a rental property, but right before, he got into an argument with his mom and started acting like he was going to hit someone. I tried to calm him down, but couldn’t, and then he said he didn’t want to look at the place anymore. I told him we could just go home, but he gave me a big attitude about it. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. Last time, because of his mom’s influence, I had to drive two hours alone in the dark to drop off rental cars and then drive two hours back home because he let her control him.

I’m really stressed because we need to find a new place soon, and his behavior is making everything harder. AITA for being upset about this?

My boyfriend and I live together and we’ve been together for seven years.

He recently had a birthday and when showing us his phone to see that he never got my dad‘s birthday text, noticed he’d been texting with one of his exes from over 20 years ago. He previously told be he’d not had contact with her for a long time. I approached him later saying it didnt really sit well with me to see a text from her after explicitly telling me he never spoke to her. He got completely defensive and aggressive. He then called me jealous, and said that he hasn’t physically spoken to her and instead it was just a text and he was merely just getting a birthday text from her. Then said I could ”be a bitch like my ex and throw out the pictures“ (Ironiclaly, he’d just brought home a bunch of old pics he’d gotten from cleaning out his stepmothers house)

I asked him why he hid it and he said he just didn’t wanna deal with my reaction and that nothing was going on. I asked him then if it was really no big deal why doesn’t he just show me the text. He said he deleted them and his story changed a couple of times after that as in he deleted it once he knew I saw it so he didn’t have to deal with me, and then he said he deleted it after I confronted him because he wanted to put this to bed.

I called him a liar and a gaslighter and reminded him this is the second time this has happened where he point blank lied to me about talking to an ex. I’m not the jealous type, but I absolutely hate being lied to.

The following day he was going to leave on a two weeks solo trip that I opted not to go on because he’s horrible to travel with. He came in a whole new song and dance with a flimsy apology wanting to “make things right“ before he left town and said he was sorry he hurt my feelings and nothing was going on and that he was just really more worried about my reaction.

I don’t really buy the apology and I think he’s doing it to make himself feel better. am I the asshole for calling him a liar and refusing to make nice with him at this point because I feel like something is going on? I don’t go through his messages so no telling what I don’t know about

Theres a long backstory with this woman where she still keeps in touch with his entire family and offered to call off her wedding 20 years ago if she still had a shot with him. (his mother even said she’d been happier they’d gotten married within ear shot of me at Xmas!)

am I the ….

bf and I were making love and he asked me 4 times in 2 mins to change positions. he asked for oral and then two seconds later asked for doggy style and so on . I told him it wasn’t very enjoyable for me when every few seconds he is making me change positions and then as soon as I do , he wants to change positions again . I explained it was a turn off and that he should let it flow naturally and not demand it

Hi, this is a throwaway account because my husband knows my main account and follows it. I’m just here to get opinions and if I am wrong, I truly would like to know because if I am then I’ll own up to it. Me and my husband have been married for 2 years, he has never really shown signs of an eating disorder until a few weeks ago. I’ve realized my husband has started eating maybe around every 2 hours, and its big meals that are junk food such as taco bell, mcdonalds, and other things of that sort. I expressed concern to my husband earlier today and he tried to say I was attacking him when I was not. I told him I think he needs to get his eating situation checked out for his health because I don’t want him being extremely unhealthy and having serious health conditions. Not once did I say nasty rude words to him or even put it in a way I know he’ll find it offensive. I’m sorry if I am wrong everyone and if I am I will apologize to him

I was a M19 and she is F18. Before you get the wrong idea my brother an I have the same mom and different dad and my brother and his sister have the same dad but different mom SO WE ARE OF NO RELATION. My brother didn’t know his dad until he was around 16 when he finally met him, and he past away not long after (the father did) and that’s when we met his sister also. After his dad died she stayed with us for awhile and we got really close. We ended up sleeping together a few times and my brother ended up finding out and getting really upset to where he wouldn’t talk to us got awhile. We’re not related so I didn’t see the big deal but it’s been about 5 years since it happened and he’s still upset. So seriously AITA?

My husband and I have been separated for about a year. Our relationship was very rocky for many years (together a decade).

I was the primary caregiver for our children, the breadwinner, the one who cleaned up all the messes while he drank himself silly. His drinking did improve from blacking out multiple nights a week and drinking and driving but only to blacking out once a month. Meanwhile, I worked three jobs to get us out of financial hell he put us in with his “side gigs” and alcohol spending.

He always had a way of convincing me he had seen the light and would do anything not to lose me and the kids.

I had read so many stories about addicts getting their life together and truly wanted to believe that the person I fell in love with could turn his life around.

When he got suspicious that I was reaching my limit, all the sudden he became much more involved and attached to the kids, much more opinionated as a parent. He was more helpful around the house, held down a part time job (but always had a reason why he couldn’t get a second one), etc.

I mostly just resigned myself to being a single parent, not depending on him changing or monitoring his behavior, and focusing on myself and my kids.

But when I got chronically ill, he really didn’t seem to care all that much. Although he acted like it hurt him to see me struggling, he was often frustrated that I wasn’t able to “put out”, meanwhile I was dealing with chronic health issues and working 3 jobs, being the responsible emotionally regulated parent.

Thankfully my mom was extremely helpful during this time and really I was only able to stay afloat because of her. He said this made him feel like we weren’t really husband and wife, that my family was too involved in decisions that we should be making “just he and I together”.

Long story short, the coercion and the years of waiting resulted in us separating. He broke up with me saying I had “withdrawn from him”.

Since he left, he got a DUI, racked up 12k of debt (lawyers and CCs for ride shares, since he no longer has a car), and “got sober” (not in recovery though).

He says he wants nothing more than to have his family back, that he doesn’t believe in divorce, that he wants to prove he’s changed. But it’s clear he’s drinking again. And I am just not ready to give up my newfound peace.

Because of how many responsibilities I had, I really became very isolated. As a result, my family really has been my only support system. Especially my parents.

For many different reasons, though, they have decided it’s best for them to move back to their home country in Europe. The quality of life in their country is much better than the US right now in terms of affordability and social services. As they get older this makes a lot of sense. Most of my extended family also lives there.

I lived there for 5 years as a child so I’m familiar with the culture and speak the language. My youngest child is also disabled and the services there for her especially as she potentially navigates complex medical needs are much much better. I have an amazing remote job and have permission from my job to continue to work from wherever I am. I make about 4-5x more than he does.

I should also note he hasn’t sent me any money for the kids in months.

All of that to say, with my support system leaving, there's not much here for me or my kids anymore. And I would love for us to go with them.

but of course I know he is their dad and I have no interest in separating them from him if he doesn't consent to them leaving. The kids are also more attached to their time with him now that he puts on his best behavior for the few hours that he visits them every week. Whereas before he would easily lose their patience with them and they didn't really enjoy being around him.

If I lose my support system, I know I'll be okay. But if I were to move to my parents home country, my kids and I would keep our support system, gain access to larger community, and also potentially have a higher quality of life especially as my disabled child gets older.

I explained this to him and that I wanted us to think about this being a possible option. He was not happy about the possibility of this happening and just kept reiterating the he wanted his wife and family back.

I think he may agree to me going if I really seriously asked him. But I don’t want to be unfair to him — it will be very difficult for him to visit the kids. So, if he were to agree, AITA for wanting to do this for me and my kids? Will I be ruining his life?

My boyfriend (28m) and I (25f) just moved in together this winter. Its not a major issue, but its come up enough to be notable, that he has an issue with the fact that I don't turn off the shower when I'm shaving my legs- mainly because it adds to the utility bill, though I'm not sure by how much.

Extra details: he owns the house, but we split utilities and groceries and generally have considered it fully our shared living space equally since we moved in. I have a 30-40 minute shower once every two weeks to shave my legs, as opposed to my regular 15 minute shower. I have sensitive skin so prefer to keep it on so I have steam/can rinse my razor, and that my hair which often has conditioner or a psoriasis shampoo doesn't dry out while I'm shaving. I keep it a temperature just warm enough that I don't get cold, but that isn't scalding hot.

Additional, and I'm guessing this plays in, this was an issue in his house hold growing up as well.

I'm considering just saying I'll pay an extra $10 on the utilities- but I'm not even sure if it adds up to that much extra. So, AITA?

I’m 22F and my boyfriend is 23M. We’ve been together for 2 years and live together.
My boyfriend recently started a new study program. One night, he went out with some people from his class. Normally, when he goes out, he comes home around 3–4 AM, but this night he stayed out until around 6 AM.
At some point, there were only three people left: my boyfriend, one of his male friends, and a girl from his class. His friend told my boyfriend that he thought the girl had a crush on him.
Eventually, his friend went home, but my boyfriend stayed behind with the girl.
My boyfriend told me that they danced together, held hands while dancing, and he spun her around. He also bought her a drink. He says he wasn't flirting and that nothing else happened.
I see it differently. To me, holding hands and dancing like that is flirting, especially when you know the other person might have a crush on you. I would never do that with another guy while in a relationship.
What makes this especially upsetting is that my boyfriend has told me many times in the past that he would not be okay with me doing something like that with another guy. So I feel like there is a double standard.
He has apologized many times and says he understands why I'm hurt. However, I am still extremely angry and disappointed. We have barely spoken for two days, even though we live together. I don't want him touching me right now, and I don't feel like I can trust him in the same way I did before.
I don't think he necessarily cheated on me, and I don't have evidence that anything else happened. But I can't stop thinking about why he stayed after his friend left, especially after his friend had told him that he thought this girl had a crush on him.
I also keep thinking about the fact that I personally would never stay alone with a guy in that situation if my friends had left. I don't understand how he could be comfortable doing something that I would feel was disrespectful to our relationship.
He has apologized, but I don't feel better. I've told him how I feel several times, and at this point I don't even want to talk about it anymore. I just feel angry whenever I think about it.
AITA for being this upset and for not wanting to talk to him or have him touch me right now, even though he says it was innocent and that he wasn't flirting?

so i domt have much time to type this out but im in a very complicated situation and i dont know what to do. to make this short, me and my bf have been together for 10 months and.. I want to break up with him. he's been horrible, controlling, manipulative, angry, he's threatened me with rape and outing me to my parents ( my parents don't allow me to date and if they ever were to find out they would beat the hell out of me and throw me out of the house) anyhow... I wanted it to end, it just kept getting worse, he became more distant, more angry, colder, he constantly thinks he's in the right and im the one in the wrong for not communicating anymore or wanting to spend time with him. today we tried talking it out.. but again, he didnt feel he had to do anythinh and just kept getting aggressive/defensive, i left him alone for a bit, came back amd he told me he was suicidal, i tried talkimg to him, trying to distract him by suggesting we play some roblox and he just said "go to hell", i left him for 6 hours.. I couldnt handle it anymore, being ridiculed and pushed down for his own benefit and I wemt amd enjoyed my day. he kept calling, texting, getting angrier and told me he s gonna go ahead and come to my place tomorrow after study hours to out me to my parents. we fought over text (he blamed me for everything and cursed at me and was overall horrible) and.. he kept saying that he was gonna do it because i deserve it for being a bitch and I cant do anything to stop him. i have his moms number that i can text, i have a text ready and screenshots where i can tell her what happened and ask her to keep him like... far away from me. now, he's calmed down, he's talking okay but.. I dont know how mucj i can trust his good behavior. do i send the message to his mother either way? with the chance that he wasnt actually gonna out me, but now that i told his mum, he's gonna do it. or.. do i not tell his mum, and he might still do it. im in a state of panic, he's crazy and I domt know what to do so i dont fuck up my life over this guy. someone please offer your honest advice, i really need it.

Okay so I, (31m) have a friend (32m) let's call him Dec. Who back in April of this year (2026) told us, (my partner (29F) and I that he might be becoming a father.

\*\*For context -\*\* I've known Dec for as long as I can remember and the nearly the entire time I've known him, he has always said that he doesn't want kids and is infertile. Now the reason he believes he infertile is because Dec said he drank alot of Dr. Pepper when he was younger which "caused" his infertility. So of course we were surprised when he had told us he was potentially becoming a father (\*\*He told us because we were expecting a child at this point\*\*) Dec was freaking out about it. So we talked to him for several hours and he still said he didn't want a to have a child. So we told him that he had to be honest with the girl (22F) that he had gotten pregnant and we left it at that.

A couple of months passed and we decided to ask Dec what was going on with the situation, he had told us thst she was going to terminate at 12 week which would have been the following week and again we left it at that.

So the week after and Dec mentions that he's going down to see her (she lives 3 hours away)(we live in the UK) and mentions that he's going for a Scan so we were surprised because the last we heard she was going to terminate to which Dec said "I guess she isnt" The day he was meant to go down to see her I noticed that he was online and gaming at around the time he said he'd be at the scan, so I asked him about it had he said he couldn't go because his usual mode of transport (a train) was not an option so instead of looking for another option of travel he decided to stay home thus missing the scan.

(\*\*Mid July my partner and i have had our baby, a healthy baby boy\*\*) here he tells us about the due date (which is the end of Jan 2027) we asked him "oh so you're keeping the baby then?" at this point he says shes decided to keep the baby and he has still not told this girl his true feelings about the idea of keeping the baby, but had reluctantly accepted it.

Now abit about Dec.

Dec is incredibly selfish and spends all of his money on games, weed and takeaway food. Still lives with his mother, Hes incredibly forgetful and frankly stupid. I have many examples of this. he is still my friend even with all this stuff but I think thats because I've known him forever...

Continuing on - after talking to Dec for a while about it we've found out that he doesn't have a solid plan on what to do when the baby is born, childcare, visitation etc. So I said "can you not be proactive and get a place down there?" To which he ignores it and continues talking about a new game thst hes playing. So now im starting to get a little annoyed because me being new father I have this kind of protective urge and I guess a sense of frustration at the fact that Dec hasn't even slightly evolved to the idea that this baby is now going to happen and still won't change.

Fast forward to a month ago (August 2026)

Dec and I had a one on one conversation about childcare and the like I asked him questions like "when your child comes to visit, where is it going to sleep?" - "do you know how often you need to be feeding said child?" "you realise that you need to stop smoking weed entirely?" All information that I felt would be useful/beneficial to him there was obviously more but im not gonna bore you with the details. He STILL doesn't seem to care. I had seen that he had bought at least another 3-4 new games that week all priced at around £30 - £50 (we checked) so this is where I get really annoyed and tell him outright "I dont think that you're fit enough to be a father"

Its been another month since then and Dec has all but forgotten what we talked about the month before, he's not spoken to me since then but other friends have told me hes bought several new games and had continued to smoke him self into oblivion....

So reddit, AITAH?

TLDR

My stupid broke friend thought he was infertile, got someone pregnant, doesn't care so I outright told him hes not fit to be a father.

My boyfriend and I were dating for 6 months, after being friends for about 3 years. We only really started to get close after our friendship groups merged and he had asked me out after a few weeks of talking. We went out and we decided to start dating. I already knew he was someone I wouldn’t typically go for, as he is more alternative and has different views as me.

After about a week of dating I had noticed he would stay up super late or pull all nighters regularly and constantly message me and send voice notes during the night. I usually put my phone on dnd before going to sleep so it wouldn’t bother me unless I forgot and occasionally woke me up. I told him it was a sweet gesture but to please tone it down as I found it a lot sometimes. (I once woke up to a 30 minute voice message about what his dream life would be like with me) it’s definitely not the first thing I want to listen to the first thing in the morning as I’m not a morning person and need to ease into the day, he knew this.

But he didn’t stop, he would message every 2 minutes, send TikTok’s and he didn’t like when I hung out with other friends.

(He didn’t have any friends only ‘ acquaintances’) it got too much for me when I went to my friends (female) house after a date with him and I didn’t text him for 30 minutes. He started spamming me but I just ignored it before he started to also spam call me and after I didn’t pick up because I was in the pool, he spam called/texted the friend I was hanging out with and my sister. I told him that it was not okay and I couldn’t see us going further if he was going to continue to behave that way and I ended things. I was talking with his mum about it and she called me dramatic, while my friends say good riddance. AITA?

So she had promised me a while ago that she wouldn't drink for the first time if I wasn't there. So low and behold she tells me shes gonna drink at this party that I may or may not be able to attend, and so I asked her if she could just not if I didn't go, to which she responded that she already told everyone she was gonna drink so she had to. Meaning our promise meant less than her promise to friends and random people. When i asked her about it she called me replaceable and threatened to cheat. Am i crazy?

This is so condensed so pls ask q’s if needed. og post was 23k characters. I (18F) and T3 (20M) were never officially BF/GF, but had a very serious relationship-like connection for ~3 months. Timeline matters. Before T3, I had just started at a new school for sr yr and was going through a big change in my life. I went from being pretty sheltered/quiet and having basically no dating experience to suddenly getting a lot more attention from guys, caring more about popularity, Snapchat, TikTok, etc. I was enjoying the attention and figuring myself out, so I wasn’t really in the right mindset bc of influence and crave for attention i never got before.
Wk 1
We met ~2 wks before I graduated HS through a mutual friend. I’d never dated or kissed anyone. I repeatedly said I wasn’t sure I wanted a relationship bc of family, finances, and not feeling ready. He reassured me. Things got intense fast: constant texts/calls, first kiss on our first hangout, “I love you” soon after. I met his family 10 days after our first conversation.
I was technically single and still kept options open. Since we weren’t official, I didn’t feel obligated to remove everyone bc ppl in my life were telling me not to. i feel so stupid for believing them.
Wk 2
H was an online guy who sometimes vented to me. I unadded him bc I wanted to focus on T3, but H added me again and guilted me into talking. I sent him a somewhat suggestive but fully clothed pic.
I know this was wrong. I don’t excuse it bc we weren’t official. I was wrong and have acknowledged it.
T3 saw the messages while looking thru my phone, was extremely hurt, drove me home yelling and calling me a whore, and said I’d cheated/lied and he couldn’t trust me.
Afterward, he said he couldn’t trust/be w me unless I had sex w him. I’d never had sex; he was my first kiss/romantic experience. Next day he said I didn’t have to, but if I refused, he couldn’t be w me. He didn’t physically force me, but it made sex feel tied to earning trust/keeping a future w him. This was still before we were official.
Wk 3 onward
T3 began checking my phone extensively. Anything small from before we’d met became “proof” I hadn’t changed.
I changed basically everything: removed almost every guy from Snapchat, unfollowed men on TikTok, deleted Instagram bc he was uncomfortable w guys DMing me, and cut off almost all my friends bc they were bad influences/spoke badly about T3.
T3 did things that hurt me too: snapped another girl he seemed interested in, kept girls on social media, liked thirst traps, and had explicit pics of exes/past girls in a hidden album he said he kept as “dirt.” I pushed him to remove some, but he wouldn’t and i let it go bc I loved him.
~1–1.5 months
He planned our first official date w a surprise. Afterward he checked my phone and found I’d reacted to a TikTok from my longtime female friend containing a guy edit. He saw this as proof I hadn’t changed and didn’t ask me to be his GF.
~2 months
T3 admitted a “just friend” was actually an old hookup. He refused to remove her unless I blocked the guy who’d pressured me into writing the original breakup paragraph. I eventually did, then he removed her.
Our dynamic was increasingly controlling/suspicious. He repeatedly brought up H, checked my phone, and used my past to justify later behavior.
3 months
We argued constantly, esp over text. In person we were perf; over text, misunderstandings became arguments/breakups.
I eventually spoke up about how his behavior hurt me. He said he felt suffocated by how much I texted/called. I understand needing space, but he called me annoying/suffocating, wished I’d shut up, wanted to be ruder, and said he could find everything I gave him elsewhere.
Breakup
We went ~2 wks without seeing each other bc he got sick and didn’t want me to visit. He eventually said he didn’t see us working long-term. He admitted he struggles w commitment and wanted freedom, other women, sex without commitment, and a GF without the effort. He admitted he sometimes used my past to excuse later behavior.
He became dry, gamed for hrs, barely texted/called, and seemed checked out. He said he wanted to move on/find someone who suited him better. I gave advice bc I wanted him to do well, but he took it as me calling him lazy. He unadded me and told me to leave him alone.
Next day he apologized, said he still loved me, but needed to leave to become stronger/find himself. He asked me not to respond, but I sent an emotional paragraph saying I wished he’d made the changes for us and wished him well.
He later said my messages made him feel guilty/trapped; whenever he considered returning, he’d remember H and lose the desire.
His final message: no more explanations/essays, leave him alone, “do not respond,” & I haven’t.
I know I was wrong w H. “We weren’t official” doesn’t erase the emotional involvement even if it was 9days in, and I understand why he felt betrayed.
But I spent months trying to make up for it: changed my behavior, cut off bad influences, stopped entertaining guys, deleted social media, isolated myself, worked, supported/reassured him, and spoiled him w gifts, food, and money. I gen improved.
T3 says H was the cause and everything after was the effect: I kept options open and didn’t commit 2nd wk in, causing the distrust.
I understand. But is it fair for something from the first 2 wks, before we were official, to permanently define me and justify months of distrust, esp after I changed?
I also recognize I kept fighting after he clearly wanted to leave. I sent emotional messages bc I wanted him to understand I loved him and had changed. I didn’t intend to guilt/trap him, but understand that’s how he experienced them. He also did the same things whenever i tried to end it and even used a joke bet we have to say he wants me in his life.
So, AITA?

For context, my fiance and I have been together for 6 years now, lived together for 4, and we have no kids. This is not my first relationship, I have been in 2 previously (which lasted both 2 years) but this one is his first.

Personality-wise, we are both very introverted and TBH, neither of us has friends besides our own families. He is more of a shy and serious person when it comes to socializing, but he has a good sense of humor when he opens up, and I am the less-serious one who likes to make people laugh. Ironically, he's more flexible and open-minded whereas I'm quite stubborn. He enjoys helping people and is very 'acts-of-service' type of partner. He also has ADHD in addition to a rough upbringing because his mom was single and a teen.

Yesterday we were both cooking dinner together like we usually do, it's something we both enjoy. We were following a recipe on his phone. He was cooking beef at the stove while I was chopping vegetables to make a sauce. Once I was done, I asked "Should I put it in the blender?" And he said, "Yeah, but it's in the sink. Can you even handle washing it because it's dirty?" I could tell by his tone he sounded annoyed. And I said to him "Okay. Why did you say it like that?" He said "I know you hate touching dirty dishes."

He has been doing this sarcastic commentary thing for the last year and a half now, where he tacks on a question or a "joke" insult. What all of the comments have in common is that they are demeaning, in that they doubt my ability to do a task on my own. We both work, pay bills and do chores. I don't like when he calls me a child or other names like that when I know the way he says it, it's not a joke from his tone. To also be clear, I am careful to not insult him or to say rude things and I normally bite my tongue because I get nervous from being put on the spot.

Yesterday was the first time in a year since I have said anything about it, telling him it is uncalled for, and he says "The problem is that you don't want to hear the truth, and if you don't like how I say it that's your problem how you handle it."

When dinner was finally done, he was on his phone while eating and I just wanted some peace and quiet to calm down (because I am also menstruating and going through HRT) so I took my food to the living room. The next day, which is today, he was completely ignoring me even if I asked him a question, he pretended I wasn't there at all. I asked him why he was ignoring me, and he said "You ignored me yesterday, why should I not do the same to you?" And I explained how I wasn't ignoring him, I just wanted to be in a quiet spot and not bother him while he was watching video memes on his phone, but he just brushed me off. I will give him space, but I don't know how to move forward afterwards.

AITA for asking him to stop making these mean comments towards me? And/or how do I learn to not take it so personally?

I (F26) am officiating my best friend’s (F26) wedding. My boyfriend (m30) of 5 years is choosing to go a suicide boys concert with his friends the night of the rehearsal dinner. It’s a week away but he thought he didn’t have to go and I thought it was assumed he would. He says it’s for the wedding party and that he shouldn’t be there because he’s not in the wedding. I explained to him that the rehearsal itself is for the wedding party but the rehearsal dinner is for close friends family and people’s s/o. I also told him that I am going to be the only one in the wedding party whose S/O won’t be there. I understand that he gets really nice tickets from his work and looks forward to going to this concert. He’s gone the past 2 or 3 years. He’s also friends with the bride and this is really big day for me as well because I’m officiating. I don’t even want to try and force him to come because if he does agree to come he’s just going to be pouty about it and ruin my night but I’m feeling so let down by him. Am I over thinking this too much? Is it normal for a significant other to bail on a rehearsal dinner?

I (17F) and my friend (18F) are writing this because we feel the same way about the situation and want unbiased opinions. We’ll use fake names. My friend is Ana, my other friend is Mia, and Mia’s girlfriend is Liz.

Mia, Ana, and I have been friends since 8th grade and are now seniors. Mia and Ana are close cousins, and I’m a close mutual friend. Mia and Liz have dated for about 2 years, although they broke up for a few months. Both sets of parents have basically banned them from seeing each other.

Recently, Ana and I became friends with Liz to support Mia. However, we originally had bad vibes about Liz, and we’ve now realized we don’t really like her.

The main incident started over a bracelet. We were walking to class when I found a bracelet on the floor. I asked Mia to pick it up for me. She tried to give it to Liz, but I took it back because I had asked Mia to get it for me. Liz got upset with Mia and said, “It’s not fair she has so many bracelets.” I thought it was a joke, but Mia was clearly upset.

Later, Mia told me she would BUY the bracelet from me because Liz had made such a big deal about wanting it. I told Mia that Liz could text me directly if she wanted it since we’re all supposed to be friends.

When Mia told Liz this, Liz got angry that Mia had told me she wanted the bracelet. This led to a huge fight. Mia called Liz out for being childish and for always putting her in the middle instead of talking directly to me or Ana. Liz responded by saying Ana and I aren’t “her type of friends” and that she doesn’t like us. This hurt because Ana is Mia’s cousin, and I’ve been close with Mia for years.

After this, Liz was supposed to talk with Ana and me so we could clear the air. However, after Liz and Mia made up, Liz no longer wanted to have that conversation. She now says she is going to “tolerate” us.

Yesterday was Ana’s 18th birthday. It was a family-only celebration, plus me because I’m close with their family. Liz wasn’t invited, and Mia’s parents were there anyway. Liz repeatedly texted Mia things like, “I wish I could be there” and “I don’t understand why I can’t be there,” which made Mia feel guilty on her cousin’s birthday.

Eventually, Mia told Liz, “I’m trying to enjoy my cousin’s birthday. I love you. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” Liz then ignored her for the rest of the night.

Ana and I were supposed to hang out with Liz today, but we decided not to. We don’t want to pretend everything is fine or hang out with someone who openly said she doesn’t like us, especially without Mia there. Ana initially felt bad about canceling, but now she doesn’t because Liz has made it clear she only plans to “tolerate” us.

We don’t understand why Liz wants to maintain a friendship with us while saying she doesn’t like us and constantly putting Mia in the middle. We don’t want to cause more problems for Mia, but we also don’t want to force a friendship.

So, are Ana and I the assholes for deciding we don’t want to hang out with Liz anymore? Give advice and ask for clarifications if needed.

I (30N) had a small crush on Aida (25F). I thought she was pretty and enjoyed spending time with her, but it wasn’t until a few mutual friends of ours mentioned HER crush that I considered how I felt. Bee (35F) told me offhandedly that “Aida really likes you, but she’s upset with how you treated Dave” (Dave was Aida’s current fling). 

How did I treat Dave? Well, I met him briefly at a party the weekend before. I tried to initiate conversation with him a few times but he brushed me off each time. At one point he came into the kitchen where a whole group was talking. He’d just finished grilling hot dogs and was in there to get buns and condiments. He proceeded to load his arms with 6 hot dogs, two of which he coated in mayo. We roasted him a bit. Dave returned to the kitchen a few minutes later, offering up two of the hot dogs to the room from his bare hands (w/dirty fingernails) Nobody wanted them and he just set them dog down on the counter. Besides a minor interaction where I asked about his hat and he didn’t answer, that was my entire interactions with Dave.

The way Bee told about the crush was odd, and it caused me to seek advice from other people. I didn’t mention to anyone my growing crush until weeks later when I was drunk and Dave was out of the picture. I admitted it to a different friend (TJ, 29N).. TJ said our situation had been noticed and talked about around our whole friend group. Aida and I had fun together, but I could tell that whatever affection there was only existed on my side. I was content with our friendship. Occasionally we’d cuddle or hold hands, but nothing more than friendly. 

Our mutual friend Erik (24M) was present the night Bee told me, and was my main confidant in my feelings. He was excited and almost encouraging about everything. Aida and Erik were very close, so I started to wonder if maybe Aida did have feelings. Erik questioned if I was making moves on her, but I wasn’t getting the vibe from her that I should.

One week later Aida confronted me, asked if I had a crush, and I said yes. She just wanted to be friends, which I was completely fine with. I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. I did make sure to mention her friends had told me about her crush. She said it was annoying how many people had come up to her asking about it. I agreed as I too had people prying into how I felt. But I figured that was just natural when friends care about two people and notice something going on. I had consulted people early on about the original comment made by Bee. She ended the conversation that she just couldn’t handle a relationship at this time, but enjoyed our closeness, all the touching, hanging out, etc so we would keep doing that with no pressure.

The next night I talked to Erik who admitted Aida had called and told him that she only saw me as a friend. I thought that was odd, since she had admitted to me she was attracted but only wanted to be friends. Though I just passed it off as her way of ending other people’s conversations about us. The next day I called to update TJ about it, the only person who knew about my crush due to drunken rambling. After I recounted what had happened TJ mentioned it was odd Erik hadn’t told me about Aida’s feelings sooner. I had assumed Aida hadn’t told him, but TJ told me the opposite. Not only did Erik know Aida had no feelings for me… he had been telling other people that I had a crush AND Aida did not return it for at least 2 weeks.

I was hurt and confronted Erik about how long he had known Aida did NOT have feelings for me. He admitted he had known she didn’t have feelings since the night Bee told me about them, and didn’t understand why Bee had said what she did. I was flabbergasted, wondering why the hell he had led me on and encouraged me for my feelings and to make moves on Aida knowing what he did. He said it wasn’t his place to tell me her feelings, but I very clearly pointed out it wasn’t his place to encourage me either. He claimed he only ever offered advice and I told him he wasn’t acting like a friend to me. I had never planned to reveal how I felt and simply wanted to let it pass, but other people had poked and prodded both of us till it was brought to the light. Kinda fucked up right? 

Well, we’re not done. Yesterday, I received an angry text from Aida claiming I’d called her a fake friend and wondering why I’d involved so many people in my crush on her. I was baffled, as I’d never called her a fake friend. But my bigger problem is the second part. Am I the asshole for telling other people I had a crush on her? We had a phone call and she angrily tried to get me to admit everyone I’d told and if me talking about it with people was why she’d been questioned about it.

I don’t think I’m the asshole here, I think I have the right to seek advice from people who are my friends and it’s not my fault if they run their mouth. Also, as another mutual friend pointed out, she only asked what was going on because of how touchy and appearingly flirty we were. Not because anyone had said anything, but just because she has eyes. It’s not like I sent anyone to ask her if she had feelings for me. But is consulting other friends an asshole thing to do? I didn’t cause the gossip house, since it started long before I was aware. Some people told me they’d been asking about what was going on between us long before Bee ever said anything to me. Is there some unwritten rule about only consulting outside parties? I always thought it was better to talk to people who knew both individuals involved so they weren’t biased. Or is she just annoyed people asked her about me frequently? In which case, is this somehow my fault? Or is it no one’s fault? I really think the size of my crush has been blown out of proportion as well. I'm not in love with this girl, I just like spending time with her. How has it caused to much drama?

Thanks for your thoughts. 

For context, I work full-time remotely while caring for my 4-month-old almost entirely by myself during the day. I had no maternity leave and am dealing with PPD, so I’m already stretched thin.
My SIL frequently asks family to watch her kids or hang out. We’ve never been close because we have different personalities and little in common. “Hanging out” usually means sitting at someone’s house, and since I spend most of my week at home, I’d rather go out when I have free time.
I’m close with my MIL. We talk several times a week and occasionally get dinner/drinks. SIL has complained to MIL that she thinks MIL talks to me and is there for me more than her. Because of this, I’ve wondered if our relationship contributes to SIL’s resentment toward me.
Recently, SIL asked to come over. I said no because we had just returned from vacation and one of my dogs was sick, but invited her and her kids to lunch instead.
She declined because her kids had been behaving badly and she didn’t want to take them out. I told her I was still going to lunch and could tell she was upset.
A few hours later, she blew up our phones, called us selfish and accused us of “going out and getting drunk every weekend.” That isn’t true. Our friends own a restaurant, so we go there fairly often to eat and socialize. She checks my location and seems to make assumptions about what I’m doing based on where I am. She also accused us of constantly making excuses not to see her.
I was already having a horrible day, and this wasn’t the first time she’d lashed out at me, so I finally blocked her.
I’ll admit I haven’t made much effort to become close with her. She’s made rude comments toward me over the years, we don’t click, and I’m uncomfortable around her. I’ve mostly pushed those feelings aside to avoid family drama.
I talked to my MIL and told her I hated that it came to this, but I don’t want a relationship with someone who repeatedly lashes out at me. MIL said she’s also had major arguments with SIL over how she reacts to and treats people.
Part of me feels bad because I know SIL wants people to spend time with her and being lonely sucks. But this is the third major incident with her this year. I feel like I should be able to decline an invitation without being insulted afterward.
I don’t want to hurt her, but I also don’t think being family means I’m required to maintain a relationship with someone who repeatedly treats me this way.
AITA for blocking my SIL and deciding I no longer want a relationship with her?

AITA for blocking my SIL?

Long story short as best as possible:

2015: had my child with my ex
2016: we broke up
2017: he meets a new girl, has another child with her
2018: leaves baby mama #2, moves in new girlfriend before baby mama #2 even moves out
2018-2023: still with new girlfriend, they get married in summer 2023. My child loves their stepmother, and I liked her too. She was very helpful.
May 2026: they get a divorce due to not being on the same page (she wanted kids of her own, he didn’t want any more) & she moves out. She’s still slightly involved, and takes my child on outings every once in a while and helps babysit in a pinch if needed.
July 2026: ex calls me and says he’s “talking to” someone, and wants to go visit her on a weekend (weekends are the only times he has his kids). I said you can do what you want, but your priorities are a bit skewed. Sounds like a rebound to me.

Now, just the other day I get this message from this random girl who lives 8 hours away in a different state and is also freshly divorced with 2 toddlers. I was gonna attach a screenshot, but apparently I can’t so I’ll copy it here:

“Hi ___ I’m ___. I’m coming up September 24 and I would really appreciate if I could meet you. I’ve heard a lot of good things about you and how you are with (child) and I think that’s great because that’s how I am with my kids. I’m very involved. (Child) is a great kid. I only talked to her on the phone a few times. She doesn’t know that me and (ex/baby dad) are dating yet because we don’t feel like it’s the right time to tell the kids but maybe when I come up! We want the transition as smooth as possible and I don’t want to over step anything and I’m open to communication and follow your lead when it comes to (child)”

I am not comfortable with this. Obviously I can’t control what he does, I don’t care about his relationships, but when it affects my child I do. My child has behavioral autism and change/transitions are very difficult. My child also recently just started middle school, and we all know how that goes as a tween. My child is still having a difficult time processing her stepmom not being around as much anymore. Ever since she left, my child comes home every weekend in smelly clothing & unwashed hair. I went to his house and it’s in complete disarray. His other child, who isn’t mine, has matted hair due to neglect. That child’s mother is another story, but it’s clear neither of them care enough to do anything about it. I’m really seeing how much his ex wife did now that she’s no longer around.
I asked the other child’s mother if she got a similar message, and she didn’t. Something tells me he told this girl I wasn’t gonna be too keen on this, so he told her to send me a sweet talking message to try and win my “blessing”.

I don’t want my child to be even more confused. AITA for saying no? This is way too early and again, screaming rebound.