My girlfriend and I got into a pretty big argument last night over something that started ridiculously small, and I genuinely want outside opinions because I can’t tell if I’m being stubborn or if this was as unreasonable as it felt.
My girlfriend was supposed to come over to my apartment. Before coming, she told me she wanted a video proving how badly I wanted to see her. Specifically, she wanted me to either get on my knees pretending to cry/beg for her to come over, or bark for her.
It was supposed to be a funny/humiliating little performance, and she said she’d come over once I sent it.
I refused to send the video. However, I offered to do the exact same thing in person when she got here. I wasn’t offended by the joke or completely unwilling to play along; I just didn’t want to record myself doing it and send her the video.
She replied, “No, that’s not part of the deal,” and eventually said something like, “See you another day I guess.”
At first I genuinely thought she was still joking. I replied “Lmao okay” because I couldn’t believe she would actually refuse to come over because I wouldn’t send a video of myself crying/begging or barking.
Then I realized she seriously wasn’t coming.
That’s when I got irritated. To me, there’s a huge difference between jokingly saying, “Beg for me or I’m not coming” and ACTUALLY refusing to see your boyfriend because he wouldn’t do it—especially when I offered to play along in person.
Her position was basically that it was a simple, playful thing she asked me to do, and if I cared that badly about seeing her, I could’ve just done it. She said she’d literally been waiting for the video before coming over and that I should’ve sent it if seeing her mattered that much to me.
My position was: if we both want to see each other, why should seeing each other depend on me recording myself doing something embarrassing first?
I wasn’t upset that she asked. Had she jokingly asked me to bark, I said no, and she came over anyway, I wouldn’t have cared. Hell, I offered to do it in person. What bothered me was that seeing me was genuinely conditional on me specifically recording and sending it.
That’s where the argument stopped being about the video.
She started saying things like, “You just don’t fuck with me,” and implying my refusal meant I wasn’t really into her. She also said relationships aren’t all about me.
I kept explaining that my issue wasn’t the request; it was that apparently my “no” had consequences attached to it. To me, there’s a difference between playful teasing and “do this embarrassing thing or I’m actually not coming.”
During the argument, she started calling me “sassy.” She said she missed when I felt like her “knight in shining armor,” that now she felt like she had a “gay best friend,” and at another point essentially told me to “go get a man.”
That pissed me off because instead of discussing the disagreement, I felt like she was insulting my masculinity/personality because I wouldn’t do what she wanted.
She also said she feels like she can’t truly be herself or say whatever she wants around me without me having an issue with it. From her perspective, she was originally being playful and I turned something silly into a serious argument.
But later she explained that she was initially joking about making the video a requirement, but when I refused, she actually got mad and decided not to come.
That honestly made it worse to me.
If she’d been joking the entire time and it was just a misunderstanding, fine. But hearing, “I was joking at first, but then you wouldn’t do it, so I actually decided not to come” seemed to confirm the exact thing I was upset about.
The argument dragged on for hours.
There’s also some broader context. I feel like we have a recurring dynamic where she can criticize my personality or things I do pretty regularly, but when I disagree with something she does, it becomes a massive argument.
I’m not pretending I’m perfect. I can get irritated, defensive, sarcastic and stubborn. And yes, technically I could’ve just made the stupid video and probably avoided all of this.
But that’s exactly what I’m struggling with. I don’t think I should have to do something embarrassing on camera because refusing means my girlfriend cancels our plans or questions whether I care about her—especially when I offered a compromise.
By the end of the night, I was genuinely questioning the relationship because such a stupid disagreement somehow became hours of arguing and personal insults.
Her perspective: She asked her boyfriend to do one silly, playful thing to show he wanted to see her, and instead of playing along, he refused and turned it into a huge argument.
My perspective: My girlfriend jokingly asked me to cry/beg on my knees or bark on video. I wouldn’t record it but offered to do it in person. She said that wasn’t part of the deal and actually refused to come over. When I objected, it escalated into questioning whether I cared about her and insulting my masculinity.
So, AITA for refusing to send the video and getting upset when she actually decided not to come over because of it? Or did I take a harmless joke way too seriously?

I (30N) had a small crush on Aida (25F). I thought she was pretty and enjoyed spending time with her, but it wasn’t until a few mutual friends of ours mentioned HER crush that I considered how I felt. Bee (35F) told me offhandedly that “Aida really likes you, but she’s upset with how you treated Dave” (Dave was Aida’s current fling). 

How did I treat Dave? Well, I met him briefly at a party the weekend before. I tried to initiate conversation with him a few times but he brushed me off each time. At one point he came into the kitchen where a whole group was talking. He’d just finished grilling hot dogs and was in there to get buns and condiments. He proceeded to load his arms with 6 hot dogs, two of which he coated in mayo. We roasted him a bit. Dave returned to the kitchen a few minutes later, offering up two of the hot dogs to the room from his bare hands (w/dirty fingernails) Nobody wanted them and he just set them dog down on the counter. Besides a minor interaction where I asked about his hat and he didn’t answer, that was my entire interactions with Dave.

The way Bee told about the crush was odd, and it caused me to seek advice from other people. I didn’t mention to anyone my growing crush until weeks later when I was drunk and Dave was out of the picture. I admitted it to a different friend (TJ, 29N).. TJ said our situation had been noticed and talked about around our whole friend group. Aida and I had fun together, but I could tell that whatever affection there was only existed on my side. I was content with our friendship. Occasionally we’d cuddle or hold hands, but nothing more than friendly. 

Our mutual friend Erik (24M) was present the night Bee told me, and was my main confidant in my feelings. He was excited and almost encouraging about everything. Aida and Erik were very close, so I started to wonder if maybe Aida did have feelings. Erik questioned if I was making moves on her, but I wasn’t getting the vibe from her that I should.

One week later Aida confronted me, asked if I had a crush, and I said yes. She just wanted to be friends, which I was completely fine with. I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. I did make sure to mention her friends had told me about her crush. She said it was annoying how many people had come up to her asking about it. I agreed as I too had people prying into how I felt. But I figured that was just natural when friends care about two people and notice something going on. I had consulted people early on about the original comment made by Bee. She ended the conversation that she just couldn’t handle a relationship at this time, but enjoyed our closeness, all the touching, hanging out, etc so we would keep doing that with no pressure.

The next night I talked to Erik who admitted Aida had called and told him that she only saw me as a friend. I thought that was odd, since she had admitted to me she was attracted but only wanted to be friends. Though I just passed it off as her way of ending other people’s conversations about us. The next day I called to update TJ about it, the only person who knew about my crush due to drunken rambling. After I recounted what had happened TJ mentioned it was odd Erik hadn’t told me about Aida’s feelings sooner. I had assumed Aida hadn’t told him, but TJ told me the opposite. Not only did Erik know Aida had no feelings for me… he had been telling other people that I had a crush AND Aida did not return it for at least 2 weeks.

I was hurt and confronted Erik about how long he had known Aida did NOT have feelings for me. He admitted he had known she didn’t have feelings since the night Bee told me about them, and didn’t understand why Bee had said what she did. I was flabbergasted, wondering why the hell he had led me on and encouraged me for my feelings and to make moves on Aida knowing what he did. He said it wasn’t his place to tell me her feelings, but I very clearly pointed out it wasn’t his place to encourage me either. He claimed he only ever offered advice and I told him he wasn’t acting like a friend to me. I had never planned to reveal how I felt and simply wanted to let it pass, but other people had poked and prodded both of us till it was brought to the light. Kinda fucked up right? 

Well, we’re not done. Yesterday, I received an angry text from Aida claiming I’d called her a fake friend and wondering why I’d involved so many people in my crush on her. I was baffled, as I’d never called her a fake friend. But my bigger problem is the second part. Am I the asshole for telling other people I had a crush on her? We had a phone call and she angrily tried to get me to admit everyone I’d told and if me talking about it with people was why she’d been questioned about it.

I don’t think I’m the asshole here, I think I have the right to seek advice from people who are my friends and it’s not my fault if they run their mouth. Also, as another mutual friend pointed out, she only asked what was going on because of how touchy and appearingly flirty we were. Not because anyone had said anything, but just because she has eyes. It’s not like I sent anyone to ask her if she had feelings for me. But is consulting other friends an asshole thing to do? I didn’t cause the gossip house, since it started long before I was aware. Some people told me they’d been asking about what was going on between us long before Bee ever said anything to me. Is there some unwritten rule about only consulting outside parties? I always thought it was better to talk to people who knew both individuals involved so they weren’t biased. Or is she just annoyed people asked her about me frequently? In which case, is this somehow my fault? Or is it no one’s fault? I really think the size of my crush has been blown out of proportion as well. I'm not in love with this girl, I just like spending time with her. How has it caused to much drama?

Thanks for your thoughts. 

Okay so I, (31m) have a friend (32m) let's call him Dec. Who back in April of this year (2026) told us, (my partner (29F) and I that he might be becoming a father.

\*\*For context -\*\* I've known Dec for as long as I can remember and the nearly the entire time I've known him, he has always said that he doesn't want kids and is infertile. Now the reason he believes he infertile is because Dec said he drank alot of Dr. Pepper when he was younger which "caused" his infertility. So of course we were surprised when he had told us he was potentially becoming a father (\*\*He told us because we were expecting a child at this point\*\*) Dec was freaking out about it. So we talked to him for several hours and he still said he didn't want a to have a child. So we told him that he had to be honest with the girl (22F) that he had gotten pregnant and we left it at that.

A couple of months passed and we decided to ask Dec what was going on with the situation, he had told us thst she was going to terminate at 12 week which would have been the following week and again we left it at that.

So the week after and Dec mentions that he's going down to see her (she lives 3 hours away)(we live in the UK) and mentions that he's going for a Scan so we were surprised because the last we heard she was going to terminate to which Dec said "I guess she isnt" The day he was meant to go down to see her I noticed that he was online and gaming at around the time he said he'd be at the scan, so I asked him about it had he said he couldn't go because his usual mode of transport (a train) was not an option so instead of looking for another option of travel he decided to stay home thus missing the scan.

(\*\*Mid July my partner and i have had our baby, a healthy baby boy\*\*) here he tells us about the due date (which is the end of Jan 2027) we asked him "oh so you're keeping the baby then?" at this point he says shes decided to keep the baby and he has still not told this girl his true feelings about the idea of keeping the baby, but had reluctantly accepted it.

Now abit about Dec.

Dec is incredibly selfish and spends all of his money on games, weed and takeaway food. Still lives with his mother, Hes incredibly forgetful and frankly stupid. I have many examples of this. he is still my friend even with all this stuff but I think thats because I've known him forever...

Continuing on - after talking to Dec for a while about it we've found out that he doesn't have a solid plan on what to do when the baby is born, childcare, visitation etc. So I said "can you not be proactive and get a place down there?" To which he ignores it and continues talking about a new game thst hes playing. So now im starting to get a little annoyed because me being new father I have this kind of protective urge and I guess a sense of frustration at the fact that Dec hasn't even slightly evolved to the idea that this baby is now going to happen and still won't change.

Fast forward to a month ago (August 2026)

Dec and I had a one on one conversation about childcare and the like I asked him questions like "when your child comes to visit, where is it going to sleep?" - "do you know how often you need to be feeding said child?" "you realise that you need to stop smoking weed entirely?" All information that I felt would be useful/beneficial to him there was obviously more but im not gonna bore you with the details. He STILL doesn't seem to care. I had seen that he had bought at least another 3-4 new games that week all priced at around £30 - £50 (we checked) so this is where I get really annoyed and tell him outright "I dont think that you're fit enough to be a father"

Its been another month since then and Dec has all but forgotten what we talked about the month before, he's not spoken to me since then but other friends have told me hes bought several new games and had continued to smoke him self into oblivion....

So reddit, AITAH?

TLDR

My stupid broke friend thought he was infertile, got someone pregnant, doesn't care so I outright told him hes not fit to be a father.

Throwaway because… well, you know the deal lol. Buckle up because this is still a long one.

Six years ago I blocked my best friend Reece, after she didn’t invite me to her wedding. I know that sounds petty, but there’s some important backstory.

Reece and I met in high school and were inseparable. Even after I moved countries, we stayed in touch and when I moved back in 2015, we picked up where we left off. We were both young mothers and she was like a sister to me.

I eventually started dating her partner Jerry’s childhood best friend, Kelvin. Reece and I remained close, but Kelvin and I had an extremely toxic relationship. He was a recovering drug and gambling addict and Reece often supported me through our problems. Unfortunately, she and Jerry also had a volatile relationship and both of us became involved in each other’s drama.

During one of my breakups with Kelvin, he had a major falling out with Reece and Jerry. He felt they constantly judged him for his past and would always reduce him to “the drug addict.” Amoughst other things. When I got back together with him, he wanted nothing to do with them. There was a lot of gossip and resentment and my friendship with Reece suffered. Despite that, we stayed friends.

A few years later while I was pregnant and on bed rest, Kelvin organised our son’s second birthday party at his mother’s house. I wanted to invite Reece and Jerry but Kelvin said his mother didn’t want them there. Since it was her house and he had organised everything, I reluctantly agreed.

On the day of the party, Reece sent me an angry message accusing me of being a pushover and refusing to stand up to Kelvin. She compared what Kelvin had supposedly forgiven me for with what he couldn’t forgive her and Jerry for, and there was a lot of swearing and name-calling. I told her my son’s birthday wasn’t the time for that conversation. We argued but never resolved anything.

We remained friends, but things were strained. I heard from mutual friends that Reece was gossiping about my relationship and I became increasingly uncomfortable with how much personal information she shared with her other best friend, Bee. Bee seemed to know everything about my life, which made me feel that Reece wasn’t keeping our conversations private.

Another incident hurt me. When Reece was pregnant, Bee organised her baby shower, which also became a surprise engagement party. It happened on my daughter’s birthday while we were out of town. I was disappointed that I wasn’t involved, especially because Reece and I were supposedly best friends but I tried not to make an issue of it.

Around this time, Kelvin and I broke up again. During the separation, he slept with an ex who had always been a major source of conflict in our relationship. Reece saw a photo of them together and saved a screenshot but didn’t tell me. I eventually found out from Kelvin and when I mentioned it to Reece, she admitted she had known. She sent me the screenshot then, which made me wonder whether she had shared it with other people before I knew.

Eventually, Reece and I met for coffee and talked through everything. We cried, laughed, apologised and promised to make more of an effort. I genuinely believed we had repaired our friendship.

Two months later, Reece was planning her wedding. I repeatedly offered to help, but she was unusually dismissive. Eventually, she told me it would be a very small ceremony, that everything had already been organised and that the invitations had been sent. I wasn’t invited! I was devastated, but I didn’t want to make her wedding about me, so I accepted her explanation and tried to move on.

Then the wedding photos appeared online.
It wasn’t a small ceremony. Several people were there whom Reece had previously criticised, judged or claimed to dislike. Seeing them included while I had been excluded made me feel betrayed and humiliated.

I called Kelvin and told him what happened. He said, “I told you she wasn’t really your friend. Why do you think I never forgave them after that fight?” I blocked Reece, then her family and eventually all our mutual friends. I removed myself from that entire social circle.

That was six years ago. Reece and I have had no contact since. Looking back, I know she wasn’t obligated to invite me to her wedding. What hurt was that she described it as a tiny ceremony with invitations already sent, only for me to discover that many other people had attended. After everything we had been through, I felt our friendship had meant far more to me than it did to her.

However I also recognise that I was in a toxic relationship with Kelvin, who already had his own issues with Reece and Jerry. Maybe his feelings influenced my decision more than I realised.

So, AITA for blocking my best friend after she didn’t invite me to her wedding?

Quick edit : Kelvin and I are still currently together and happier than ever with 5 children. Definitely outgrew the immature breakup/makeup mentality we had in our early 20’s.

For context, I work full-time remotely while caring for my 4-month-old almost entirely by myself during the day. I had no maternity leave and am dealing with PPD, so I’m already stretched thin.
My SIL frequently asks family to watch her kids or hang out. We’ve never been close because we have different personalities and little in common. “Hanging out” usually means sitting at someone’s house, and since I spend most of my week at home, I’d rather go out when I have free time.
I’m close with my MIL. We talk several times a week and occasionally get dinner/drinks. SIL has complained to MIL that she thinks MIL talks to me and is there for me more than her. Because of this, I’ve wondered if our relationship contributes to SIL’s resentment toward me.
Recently, SIL asked to come over. I said no because we had just returned from vacation and one of my dogs was sick, but invited her and her kids to lunch instead.
She declined because her kids had been behaving badly and she didn’t want to take them out. I told her I was still going to lunch and could tell she was upset.
A few hours later, she blew up our phones, called us selfish and accused us of “going out and getting drunk every weekend.” That isn’t true. Our friends own a restaurant, so we go there fairly often to eat and socialize. She checks my location and seems to make assumptions about what I’m doing based on where I am. She also accused us of constantly making excuses not to see her.
I was already having a horrible day, and this wasn’t the first time she’d lashed out at me, so I finally blocked her.
I’ll admit I haven’t made much effort to become close with her. She’s made rude comments toward me over the years, we don’t click, and I’m uncomfortable around her. I’ve mostly pushed those feelings aside to avoid family drama.
I talked to my MIL and told her I hated that it came to this, but I don’t want a relationship with someone who repeatedly lashes out at me. MIL said she’s also had major arguments with SIL over how she reacts to and treats people.
Part of me feels bad because I know SIL wants people to spend time with her and being lonely sucks. But this is the third major incident with her this year. I feel like I should be able to decline an invitation without being insulted afterward.
I don’t want to hurt her, but I also don’t think being family means I’m required to maintain a relationship with someone who repeatedly treats me this way.
AITA for blocking my SIL and deciding I no longer want a relationship with her?

AITA for blocking my SIL?

Long story short as best as possible:

2015: had my child with my ex
2016: we broke up
2017: he meets a new girl, has another child with her
2018: leaves baby mama #2, moves in new girlfriend before baby mama #2 even moves out
2018-2023: still with new girlfriend, they get married in summer 2023. My child loves their stepmother, and I liked her too. She was very helpful.
May 2026: they get a divorce due to not being on the same page (she wanted kids of her own, he didn’t want any more) & she moves out. She’s still slightly involved, and takes my child on outings every once in a while and helps babysit in a pinch if needed.
July 2026: ex calls me and says he’s “talking to” someone, and wants to go visit her on a weekend (weekends are the only times he has his kids). I said you can do what you want, but your priorities are a bit skewed. Sounds like a rebound to me.

Now, just the other day I get this message from this random girl who lives 8 hours away in a different state and is also freshly divorced with 2 toddlers. I was gonna attach a screenshot, but apparently I can’t so I’ll copy it here:

“Hi ___ I’m ___. I’m coming up September 24 and I would really appreciate if I could meet you. I’ve heard a lot of good things about you and how you are with (child) and I think that’s great because that’s how I am with my kids. I’m very involved. (Child) is a great kid. I only talked to her on the phone a few times. She doesn’t know that me and (ex/baby dad) are dating yet because we don’t feel like it’s the right time to tell the kids but maybe when I come up! We want the transition as smooth as possible and I don’t want to over step anything and I’m open to communication and follow your lead when it comes to (child)”

I am not comfortable with this. Obviously I can’t control what he does, I don’t care about his relationships, but when it affects my child I do. My child has behavioral autism and change/transitions are very difficult. My child also recently just started middle school, and we all know how that goes as a tween. My child is still having a difficult time processing her stepmom not being around as much anymore. Ever since she left, my child comes home every weekend in smelly clothing & unwashed hair. I went to his house and it’s in complete disarray. His other child, who isn’t mine, has matted hair due to neglect. That child’s mother is another story, but it’s clear neither of them care enough to do anything about it. I’m really seeing how much his ex wife did now that she’s no longer around.
I asked the other child’s mother if she got a similar message, and she didn’t. Something tells me he told this girl I wasn’t gonna be too keen on this, so he told her to send me a sweet talking message to try and win my “blessing”.

I don’t want my child to be even more confused. AITA for saying no? This is way too early and again, screaming rebound.

My boyfriend and I were dating for 6 months, after being friends for about 3 years. We only really started to get close after our friendship groups merged and he had asked me out after a few weeks of talking. We went out and we decided to start dating. I already knew he was someone I wouldn’t typically go for, as he is more alternative and has different views as me.

After about a week of dating I had noticed he would stay up super late or pull all nighters regularly and constantly message me and send voice notes during the night. I usually put my phone on dnd before going to sleep so it wouldn’t bother me unless I forgot and occasionally woke me up. I told him it was a sweet gesture but to please tone it down as I found it a lot sometimes. (I once woke up to a 30 minute voice message about what his dream life would be like with me) it’s definitely not the first thing I want to listen to the first thing in the morning as I’m not a morning person and need to ease into the day, he knew this.

But he didn’t stop, he would message every 2 minutes, send TikTok’s and he didn’t like when I hung out with other friends.

(He didn’t have any friends only ‘ acquaintances’) it got too much for me when I went to my friends (female) house after a date with him and I didn’t text him for 30 minutes. He started spamming me but I just ignored it before he started to also spam call me and after I didn’t pick up because I was in the pool, he spam called/texted the friend I was hanging out with and my sister. I told him that it was not okay and I couldn’t see us going further if he was going to continue to behave that way and I ended things. I was talking with his mum about it and she called me dramatic, while my friends say good riddance. AITA?

Hi there! I’m a 20 YO (M) and my partner is a 20 YO (F), who we’ll just call Marie. Just as some context about our relationship, we started dating a little over half a year ago due to reconnecting via social media. Things have been really nice in our relationship and we’ve both been learning a lot from one another.

Recently though, Marie had to move to a new place after her roommate went ballistic and it was no longer safe for her to stay with her roommate. Not being able to stay with me, because I stay with family, she had to move in with her aunt. This aunt of her’s isn’t a bad person, but the living situation isn’t the best for anyone in the house. Because of the poor situation, it’s been bringing up a lot of stress and turmoil within Marie, which has caused her to nitpick everything in my life and start arguments.

I thought things had gotten better, but one day she went through my phone whilst she was over my house and I was busy. And before you think she found me cheating, she didn’t. Marie actually found a very crude and honestly unnecessary joke I made with my best friend/sister. The joke was of me planning to prank my ex (whom I’m not on bad or good terms with). Marie thought it was highly inappropriate and that I shouldn’t have been making jokes like that, let alone with my sister (who she already isn’t a big fan of). The whole situation caused a big argument and subsequently ended with me cutting off communication with my sister.

Well after already feeling like shit for having to cut off my sister/best friend, I felt it was smart to just cut off all my other friends. I sent each of them a farewell text and swiftly blocked them afterwards because I couldn’t bare actually hearing their words.

Now just as a preface, I did this without my girlfriend actually knowing and she has since found out. It’s only been about two weeks and all my friends I cut off have since blocked me back and actually removed me from their social medias.

So, AITAH for choosing my relationship with my girlfriend over my relationship with my friends?

I (35M) have been married to my wife "Laura" (33F) for 7 years. We have two kids. Her family rents a beach house every summer and we always go together. It's a week-long trip and there are about 12 people total.

The problem is my mother-in-law "Patricia" (62F). Every year, she makes a list of "chores" for me. Not for anyone else. Just me. The list includes things like taking out trash, carrying heavy equipment, fixing broken items around the house, unloading the car, setting up beach umbrellas, and doing grocery runs.

I'm always happy to help out, but it's the way she does it. She hands me a printed list on the first day and says "these are your responsibilities." She doesn't ask. She doesn't assign anything to her husband or sons. She just hands me a list like I'm an employee.

It's been seven years of this. I've never complained before because I didn't want to cause drama. But this year, Laura told me about the trip and I said I'm not going.

Laura was shocked. She asked why and I told her. I said I'm tired of being treated like a hired helper. I said if her mom wants to treat me that way, I'll stay home with the kids and she can go alone.

She said I was being "dramatic" and "unfair." She said her mom "doesn't mean anything by it" and she's "just being organized." She said I should just help out like everyone else and not make this a big deal.

I told her no one else has to help out. Just me. Laura said that's not true, but I've been paying attention for years and I know what I'm talking about.

Now she's upset and saying I'm ruining the family vacation. I feel like I'm finally standing up for myself, but everyone's making me feel like I'm the problem.

AITA?

Around about late 2025, i was finishing my last year of hs when my best friend invited me to a weekend long retreat with some of my other mates on the trip. During this time, one of my other mates girl had a friend who just broke up, i was single at the time and the only one who was in my friend group. So they tried to hook me up with her by inviting me to a get together 2 nights before we went to a retreat. For preferences, i don't mind drinking but i'm a lightweight, so i get drunk easy. During the hangout, we were talking about my mates girl going to school and i made a comment that was supposed to be directed as a compliment which was, "with eyes like yours, guys would think your cute." Looking back on this, yeah it was shit, but i thought that maybe my best friend of 4 years would know when i'm joking or not. However, i was not under the pretence it was a bad comment. We drive together to the retreat, doesn't say anything wrong that i did that night. On the first night of the retreat, we are doing truth or drink, all tipsy, he picks me and ask's if i have a crush on his girl. He brings up that comment and another interaction that i touched her leg in a spa. Yes, this is somewhat true, they were in a spa, however, i remember doing cannonballs into the other pool, nowhere near to touch her. I tried my best to defend these claims, however, being drunk, I was looking like a guilty fool even though it was bs. After that, he dragged me to the corner of the room and vowed that i showed never contact her again, making me delete all of her contacts off my phone. And that was the beginning of a 7 day retreat. If this gets like 100 or 1,000 upvotes, i will go into further details, but what do think, AITA

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Hey everyone. I'm looking for an outside perspective on a situation that's starting to really wear me down in my relationship. Me (26M) and my GF (25F) are dating for approximately half a year.

Lately, she's been completely hooked on TikTok, specifically joining live streams where people have pointless, toxic debates. The topics are mostly "red pill" stuff: whether women are still attractive after a certain age, if body counts matter, and other degrading questions like that.

She joins to "defend" women in the comments or even participating as a l"live guest", but I've explained my logic to her multiple times: By sitting there answering them and trying to argue back, she's essentially legitimizing their premise. It's like she's putting herself in the boxes they've created and giving them validation by debating these things in the first place.

The real issue between us is when and how she does it. Even when I'm sleeping over at her place and we're laying in bed together, she'll put her earbuds in to watch the live and fight in the comments.

I want to make this crystal clear: I don't care that she's on her phone before bed. I care about what she's doing on it. It’s emotionally draining and a massive turn-off seeing my partner stoop to their level and waste her energy on such misery and random toxic strangers, instead of just ignoring them.

Sometimes she even sends me the live streams so I can see what she's replying to them. I never join, and I've told her bluntly that the whole thing makes me highly uncomfortable. When I tell her this, she doesn't react badly or start a fight, but nothing changes either. She just keeps going in her own world, ignoring how it makes me feel to have that toxic energy (even silently, through earbuds) right next to me.

Am I overreacting for being so repulsed by this behavior? How would you handle this in my shoes?

TL;DR: My GF spends endless hours fighting in red pill/body count debates on TikTok, essentially giving them validation. She does this even right next to me in bed with earbuds. It's a huge turn-off seeing her stoop to this level of toxicity, despite me telling her it makes me uncomfortable.

AITA for telling my girlfriend i think it’s kinda weird that shes talking to a 20 yr old guy online and that i don’t like that he’s talking to her EVERY SINGLE DAY. I told her that she didn’t have to block him out of nowhere to be mean. She still won’t listen to me and i don’t think she cares about my feelings. what do i do?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. We are long distance while I’m at uni, but spend a lot of time together outside of term time. This summer I have practically been living with him (at his request).

His brothers have come down to visit and it happens to be during the last week before I go back to uni and we’re long distance again. He asked me to move back in with my mum so his brothers could stay at his. Although I was disappointed, I obviously understand. He hasn’t seen them in a year and opportunities to visit them are usually quite sparse, so I can understand why he’s excited.

Before his brothers told him they were visiting, he had agreed to help me move back to uni. Now that they’re here and they only have a week together, he’s said he’s not sure he can come anymore. Again, I understand and I’m not angry at him for that. I was just a bit butthurt when I found out that part of the reason is because he wants to go to the casino with them, when they have a whole week together and could potentially go another day.

Since they’ve arrived, though, I can’t help but feel very sidelined. I know logically it’s probably a bit ridiculous, he hasn’t seen them in a year and of course he’s going to be excited, but I’ve found myself feeling really upset at how enthusiastic he is about making plans with them compared to how he has been with me all summer.

He hasn’t planned a single date in the whole 3½ months I’ve been back from uni, despite me repeatedly asking him to take more initiative and not leave me to plan everything. He’s somehow managed to make more plans with them in one week than he has with me in three months. There have been things I’ve asked to do all summer that he has repeatedly said he couldn’t be bothered with, but now he’s happily doing them with his brothers.

For example, there was a particular movie I wanted to see at the cinema last month. I asked him to go with me and he replied, “No, I can’t be arsed. I’m not sitting through a 3 hour movie.” Then yesterday he told me, with a big smile on his face, that he’s going to see it with his brothers and asked if I could send him my discount code. I didn’t say anything, but it did sting. I’ve also spent the whole summer asking to go bowling. He repeatedly said he couldn’t be bothered, but has now planned to go bowling with them.

Yesterday, I met his brothers for the first time. I drove us around for the whole day and we wandered around shops and went for lunch. My boyfriend was like a completely different person around them. They all spent most of the day walking miles ahead of me and not once did my boyfriend turn around to check I was keeping up. His brothers barely spoke to me or asked me anything about myself, and one of them was being quite moody and rude and kept complaining that he wanted to go home.

At the end of the day, when I dropped them back off, they jumped out of the car without so much as a bye or any kind of acknowledgement. My boyfriend gave me a brief “see ya” before getting out too. He didn’t invite me upstairs, which was quite hurtful considering it could potentially be the last time I see him before I move back to uni and we won’t see each other for months. I got the impression I was only invited to drive them around. Since then I have barely heard from my boyfriend.

I know logically he’s probably just caught up in the excitement of seeing his brothers, and I don’t expect him to choose me over them or ignore them while they’re here. I’m genuinely glad he gets to spend time with them after not seeing them for a year. I just can’t shake the feeling that he seems capable of being really enthusiastic about making plans and spending time with people, and I’m wondering why I haven’t been getting that same effort from him all summer.

So, AITA for feeling resentful about this, or am I being unreasonable given the circumstances?

I (19F) broke up with my long-distance boyfriend (22M) yesterday, and now I’m wondering if I made the wrong decision.

I’m having a really hard time with this because, despite everything, I still love him.
There were a lot of things throughout our relationship that bothered me, but I kept dismissing them because I would think, “It’s just one little thing. It’s not a big deal.” Looking back now, I realize how much those “little things” added up.
It started with drinking. He didn’t want me to drink because he had previously struggled with alcohol, so I tried to respect that. For my 19th birthday, which is the legal drinking age where I live, I didn’t go to a bar or club, and I wouldn’t even have a drink with my parents because I knew he was uncomfortable with it.
Then he started having issues with how often I spent time with my friends. He would say that he didn’t hang out with his friends all the time, so why should I? Eventually, I stopped seeing my friends as much.
Then there were things like makeup and my appearance. He didn’t like me wearing makeup or getting my nails done, so I stopped doing those things too.
He also wanted me to constantly tell him where I was. I would have to tell him where I was going, when I left my house, and then again when I left whatever store, friend’s house, or other place I was at. He told me this was what “normal people in normal relationships” did. Since this was my first relationship, I genuinely didn’t know any better, so I believed him.
I also wasn’t allowed to have platonic male friends, so I dropped those friendships.
The part that probably bothers me the most looking back is what happened with my antidepressants. He told me that he should be able to make me happy enough that I wouldn’t need them. He said that continuing to take them meant I was admitting that my brain was “fucked up.” I eventually stopped taking them because of what he said.
At the same time, he didn’t really want to get to know my family or meet my friends, while I was expected to spend a lot of time with his family and be involved with them.
Eventually, things seemed to calm down. But I think the reason they calmed down was because I had simply become accustomed to all of his rules. I did everything “right” in his eyes, so there was less to argue about.
And I was in love with him.
Then the straw that broke the camel’s back happened.
One of my best friends blocked me on every social media platform. I reached out to ask why, and she told me that I had changed since I met him. She said that I used to be the friend who was always there for people, always wanting to hang out, talk, and be involved in my friends’ lives. She said that I had slowly stopped being that person after I got into this relationship.
At first, I was angry. I defended him with everything in me because I loved him and genuinely believed our relationship was okay.
Then I talked to my mom.
She asked me to look at the situation from her perspective. From her point of view, her daughter was slowly disappearing. I wasn’t the same friend I used to be, and I was knowingly staying in a relationship that was making me pull away from the people who loved me.
So I finally looked at my life now compared to my life before I met him.
I realized I had lost over five friends. There were no huge fights or dramatic falling-outs. They just slowly disappeared from my life.
And I realized that I couldn’t keep doing this.
So yesterday, I made the decision to break up with him.
Am I sad? Absolutely. I still love him. I know I hurt him, and that kills me. I feel like I broke this man’s heart and betrayed him. Part of me feels guilty for ending things so suddenly, especially because he didn’t necessarily know that I had reached this point.
Now I’m questioning myself.
He told me that I chose “values over love,” and maybe I did. Maybe my mom influenced my decision. Maybe I should have communicated more before ending the relationship.
But at the same time, I keep thinking about how much of myself I gave up to make this relationship work.
So, Reddit, was I wrong for breaking up with my boyfriend “out of the blue”? Did I make the wrong decision, or did I finally recognize that this relationship was changing me in ways that weren’t healthy?
I’m really struggling with the guilt because I still love him, and I don’t know how to reconcile loving someone with knowing that the relationship wasn’t good for me.

I (29F) have been with my fiancé "Ethan" (31M) for 3 years. We're getting married next month. I've always known he's close with his ex-girlfriend "Megan" (30F). They dated for 2 years in college and have been friends for a long time.

I've been trying to be cool about it. I've met Megan a few times and she's always been friendly enough. But something she said a couple months ago has been eating at me.

We were at a small dinner party with friends. I was talking about our wedding plans and how excited I was when Megan looked at me and said, "That's cute." Then she said, "You know, Ethan and I always talked about getting married one day. He'll always love me more, but I'm sure you two will be happy."

Everyone went quiet. I didn't know what to say. I just stared at her. Ethan was in the other room and didn't hear it.

I didn't bring it up for a few weeks. I tried to let it go. But every time I think about her being at our wedding, I feel sick. So I finally told Ethan what happened.

He was surprised and said he didn't think she would say something like that. But then he said, "I'm sure she was just joking. She's like that sometimes. I don't think she meant any harm."

I told him I don't want her at the wedding. I can't have someone in the room who said that to me on the most important day of my life. I asked him to uninvite her.

He said I was "overreacting" and "reading too much into it." He said she's a part of his friend group and uninviting her would be awkward for everyone. He said he'll talk to her and tell her to be more careful with her words, but he won't disinvite her.

I told him this is supposed to be about us and she made it clear she doesn't support that. He said I'm being jealous and insecure.

Now we're fighting every night. AITA?

My boyfriend and I had an argument, and I’ve been giving him the silent treatment because he doesn’t seem to believe he did anything wrong. He told me he liked the nose contour of some other girls, which I know doesn’t seem that bad. However, I explained to him that it upset me because he barely compliments me anymore. He said it’s because he doesn’t want to use the same compliments over and over, and because I don’t dress up or do my makeup to go out. I only do it to make TikTok videos. He then made the conversation about him, which is something he’s done in the past. I just stopped talking, even though he hurt my feelings a lot. I was so done with it because it seems like he never listens to me when I say I just want him to compliment me more. When we got home, I went straight to bed. I woke up to a Dr Pepper next to me. I love Dr Pepper and my boyfriend, but I don’t want him to think he doesn’t have to apologize.

am I the ….

bf and I were making love and he asked me 4 times in 2 mins to change positions. he asked for oral and then two seconds later asked for doggy style and so on . I told him it wasn’t very enjoyable for me when every few seconds he is making me change positions and then as soon as I do , he wants to change positions again . I explained it was a turn off and that he should let it flow naturally and not demand it

My husband and I have been separated for about a year. Our relationship was very rocky for many years (together a decade).

I was the primary caregiver for our children, the breadwinner, the one who cleaned up all the messes while he drank himself silly. His drinking did improve from blacking out multiple nights a week and drinking and driving but only to blacking out once a month. Meanwhile, I worked three jobs to get us out of financial hell he put us in with his “side gigs” and alcohol spending.

He always had a way of convincing me he had seen the light and would do anything not to lose me and the kids.

I had read so many stories about addicts getting their life together and truly wanted to believe that the person I fell in love with could turn his life around.

When he got suspicious that I was reaching my limit, all the sudden he became much more involved and attached to the kids, much more opinionated as a parent. He was more helpful around the house, held down a part time job (but always had a reason why he couldn’t get a second one), etc.

I mostly just resigned myself to being a single parent, not depending on him changing or monitoring his behavior, and focusing on myself and my kids.

But when I got chronically ill, he really didn’t seem to care all that much. Although he acted like it hurt him to see me struggling, he was often frustrated that I wasn’t able to “put out”, meanwhile I was dealing with chronic health issues and working 3 jobs, being the responsible emotionally regulated parent.

Thankfully my mom was extremely helpful during this time and really I was only able to stay afloat because of her. He said this made him feel like we weren’t really husband and wife, that my family was too involved in decisions that we should be making “just he and I together”.

Long story short, the coercion and the years of waiting resulted in us separating. He broke up with me saying I had “withdrawn from him”.

Since he left, he got a DUI, racked up 12k of debt (lawyers and CCs for ride shares, since he no longer has a car), and “got sober” (not in recovery though).

He says he wants nothing more than to have his family back, that he doesn’t believe in divorce, that he wants to prove he’s changed. But it’s clear he’s drinking again. And I am just not ready to give up my newfound peace.

Because of how many responsibilities I had, I really became very isolated. As a result, my family really has been my only support system. Especially my parents.

For many different reasons, though, they have decided it’s best for them to move back to their home country in Europe. The quality of life in their country is much better than the US right now in terms of affordability and social services. As they get older this makes a lot of sense. Most of my extended family also lives there.

I lived there for 5 years as a child so I’m familiar with the culture and speak the language. My youngest child is also disabled and the services there for her especially as she potentially navigates complex medical needs are much much better. I have an amazing remote job and have permission from my job to continue to work from wherever I am. I make about 4-5x more than he does.

I should also note he hasn’t sent me any money for the kids in months.

All of that to say, with my support system leaving, there's not much here for me or my kids anymore. And I would love for us to go with them.

but of course I know he is their dad and I have no interest in separating them from him if he doesn't consent to them leaving. The kids are also more attached to their time with him now that he puts on his best behavior for the few hours that he visits them every week. Whereas before he would easily lose their patience with them and they didn't really enjoy being around him.

If I lose my support system, I know I'll be okay. But if I were to move to my parents home country, my kids and I would keep our support system, gain access to larger community, and also potentially have a higher quality of life especially as my disabled child gets older.

I explained this to him and that I wanted us to think about this being a possible option. He was not happy about the possibility of this happening and just kept reiterating the he wanted his wife and family back.

I think he may agree to me going if I really seriously asked him. But I don’t want to be unfair to him — it will be very difficult for him to visit the kids. So, if he were to agree, AITA for wanting to do this for me and my kids? Will I be ruining his life?

My wife and I are both Neurodivergent and struggle with what Neurotypicals would consider some basic things. We both have Attention Deficit, and I am on the spectrum.

Early last year, my wife began her own business and started working from home. I feel like it's been good for her...for the most part.

This summer, her clientele dried up. She's spent the last 3 months rebranding her business without any income, placing our financial responsibilities solely on me and my 17/hr job. I also do the majority of the cooking and cleaning. Lately, she has been sleeping in and acting depressed, and staying up late "to work on stuff." She's relaunched her business, but still has no clients.

When pressed about what she has been doing, she frantically gathers notes and presents them like someone who got pulled into a meeting last second, showing me idea boards and half-thought-out hand-written notes.

Nothing substantial.

No workloads.

No client paper trail.

I outright ask her "but what have you been doing?!" and her response is almost always "research."

This time, I finally asked "how much research do you need to do before finding clients?!" She never answered me, just slumped into her seat.

I told her I've been working my ass off, and we have nothing to show for it. I also reminded her that our lease is up in November, and there's been no word on whether the landlord will renew our lease. We haven't even looked at other apartments, when housing in our region is cut-throat. I'm terrified we're going to be on the streets.

After expressing all of this, I told her she needs to step her game up.

"I'm trying," is all she said.

I told her "I need you to try a little harder."

AITA here?

For background, I’ve been going through a lot lately, and feeling very stressed. I’ve had a rough mental illness and substance use flare up the last couple of weeks. [ocd, adhd, cptsd, sud…]

The last few months, We both had a lot of stress in money, housing, work, health, vehicles, potential moving, relationship/friendship stuff…

My gf has carried most of the financial load, but also had a big funk in the summer with a lot of migraines… then her job she just got in April laid her off.. she did see her doctors and raise her mood stabilizer though.

The other day, my girlfriend left three dishes in the sink on a day she felt awful, and was prioritizing job applications after a recent abrupt layoff. We had previously agreed to keep the sink clean a month ago and she has already forgotten a couple times. When I saw it, it made me feel disrespected and un-considered, and mad I guess. 

I said, ‘Wow, it’s that hard for you not to leave a dish in the sink, huh,’ then told her it would have only taken 2 minutes, and I said “you were home all day.” 

When she explained how bad she felt and how she prioritized her energy on what she thought was most important like job applications, and that sometimes feeling bad does get in the way of doing chores, I said that she was making excuses, not admitting she was wrong, and later I argued that if she disrespected me by leaving dishes out, she deserved the way I spoke to her. 

She brought up the example of me making a crumb mess in the living room last week, saying I would vacuum it, then not vacuuming it for a week because I was feeling bad. And that she didn’t say anything to me, she just shrugged it off cause she knew I was feeling bad. She says “I just want the same grace I show you” but it doesn’t feel equal to me for some reason.

Over the next couple days I‘ve kept revisiting whether she was inconsiderate, whether she was hypersensitive, and whether we fundamentally see things too differently for the relationship to work. it just won’t leave me alone.

though I know if I left her I wouldn’t have a car for work and she would probably take me to small claims for what I owe her in back rent and bills which is like 7k or something.

For a while I thought, she is the only reason we even have a sink, why should I add this unnecessary stress. But today it just hit me all over again. i tried to talk about it again but it didn’t go well.

Sometimes she asks to pause the conversation or take it to a counselor, but I say she just says that because she doesn’t want to admit she is wrong or is avoiding the conversation. If I keep talking, she plugs her ears.

She says I’m escalating a small household issue that isn’t even really an issue, into a character/compatibility crisis, and she says that the main problem is how I spoke to her. 

It’s like she keeps focusing on what I am doing wrong. like it’s all about her. Why doesn’t she talk about what she’s doing wrong? and she acts like I’m not giving her enough grace… but then am I getting any, when I am struggling too?

Isnt she just refusing to give me the same grace she wants me to show her? 

Is she manipulating me or AITA?

My boyfriend (20m) and I (21f) have been dating for 3 months and so far have a wonderful relationship, I have a great relationship with his parents (47m 48f) but always felt like his sister (27f) didn't like me. Last night we were BBQing and after drinking all day his sister got heated. She started yelling at me saying “I will f*** you up” if I were to cheat on her brother, told me “you’re not going to disrupt my household” and so on so forth. I was understanding and calm as I know siblings can be protective over each other until she started talking about my sister and how she’ll “mess her up too” and brought up some pretty personal stuff I told her a couple weeks ago. I finally then told her she’s being incredibly disrespectful and I haven’t done anything but love her and her family, so it seems to me that this feelings are coming from elsewhere and are redirected. His entire family got involved as she was increasingly getting angrier so my boyfriend and I left. She then called me 12 times but I didn’t answer and haven’t spoken to his family since.

Hey yall, I’ve been brewing on this for a few days and don’t know if I can blame how I’m feeling on PMS or if this is something I’m willing to work through with this fella.

For some context, I send a lot of spicy content to my ex and disliked doing it. It felt like a chore and I would get the silent treatment if I didn’t, even though he said it was okay if I didn’t want to. I also stopped doing so after we broke up because I was struggling with an ED and it was a way of body checking myself. Come to find out, he kept all the pictures and videos and earlier this year, sent me some out of the blue as a way to ask me to engage in a hookup and continued to do so up until I started talking this this new guy. Yikes.

So now for the situation. I’ve been talking to a guy for about 2 months now and everything has been great with a moment or two of “ick” on my part. But I’ve also had a man be appropriately obsessed with me, so I blamed it on just being in new territory. This weekend, I was excitedly telling him about a puppy my brother has and sent him a picture of the little angel. His response: I need a sexy pic of you instead of the dog.

I immediately let him know (which I’m pretty sure I’ve done in the past) that pics are not a part of my package. He came back with a message about that not being truthful, because he’s seen my hidden folder. Fair statement, but the pictures there are over two years old and I genuinely don’t think about them. I have also seen his hidden folder and it’s filled with pictures of exes and hookups, which I was insecure about (because these women are so physically different from me and the situation above). Staying firm, I reminded him that it was a no from me, with more rationale. His next message that night, which I did not reply to, was “I understand that sweetheart. But one day I will get something I can look at to motivate me to come home too”.

This hurt. In my mind, which again, may not be the clearest, tells me that as a whole human, I’m not enough to come home to without my nakedness being on display. Also, that he doesn’t take the boundary seriously and that he can change my mind.

I plan on talking to him about this very soon, I just wanted to regulate myself and process it fully before I had the conversation. I’m super non confrontational so I’m extremely anxious about it all. Would I be in the wrong for this being a relationship ending behavior? Do the beautiful people of this sub have any advice for me? I’m truly just a girl that loves love but I’m not willing to risk my mental for a man ever again 😂

TW: Nsfw topics, mentions of suicide and suicide intention

A while ago (Around 1-2 months) I had an experience with one of my friends. (Just some people online being mean, it wasn't horrible but it did make me feel a bit down) I had eventually gotten home and felt relieved, I got on my phone to talk to my friends in their group chat, but I saw that a few of them had been just spamming a video of a character... massaging his pelvic area intimately (Idk why, they just found it funny ig?) Normally, most teenagers wouldn't find this much of an issue, but I had a situation happen to me that caused me to have trauma relating to seeing much things sexual

Because of this, I had gotten uncomfortable with what they were doing, so had another one of my friends, who had left the group chat because of it. So I had said to them "Screw you all for making (Friends name) feel uncomfortable". And then I left the group chat too, the main person who started the "joke" (I won't say his name for privacy reasons, so I'll just call him Tim) had messaged me personally and started getting mad at me, saying I had faked my trauma because I am queer (I'm lesbian. Also like, no correlation???). He had kept calling me "Kiddo" while trying to accuse me of saying some "Sexual" things (His "evidence" was me joking about how my two friends who both like each other, should kiss). I of course, called him stupid, and just said if he wanted to argue then he can leave
^Tim has also pretended to be trans for attention (It was supposedly "For a joke" but like cmon, what kinda joke is that) Also he started this thing while there were minors present in the group chat (One that was 14, the other that was 17 at the time. While Tim was 19. Also he really REALLY tries to get the 17 year old one to agree with everything going on, which seems weird to me)

He then promptly blocked me and went to take what I said out of context to try and make all my friends hate me. One of them, sided with him because they just didn't wanna upset him. He then took the screenshot of my friend siding with him and sent it to me. This made me think that my only and best friends hated me, because of that I had decided to end it all, so I tried to with a knife but after a while of contemplating, I couldn't

I eventually fell asleep on the floor and after a while, I started to feel a little better, since finding out that the friend that sided with him just didn't wanna upset anyone. Nor did any of the friends that Tim told me, actually hated me.

Since then I have not really forgiven him, because he never really showed any improvement, also he has done similar things in the past, where he has gotten mad over something super small someone said, forced one of the victim's friends to agree with him, then just go on a rant how they always hated the victim and how life would be so much better if he had never met them (His words, not mine)

Even though I try to mainly keep my protests about his behavior to myself, sometimes I share this with some of my friends, which most of them, upon telling them this, tell me that I should just move on already, or that I'm just overreacting, which makes me feel really unsure about the situation, because I don't think I handled it too wrong, but maybe I'm being a bad person for not forgiving him?

I'm not sure anymore

me (18F) and my boyfriend (20M) made love for the first time last week. this was my first time since i was 15, where i lost my virginity to a coworker of mine who was 19 at the time, where i embraced probably the most traumatizing event of my life.

i was a girl who was really desperate to be loved back then, and it drew me in as an easy target for manipulation and it took me a really long time to even be comfortable letting someone touch me again after everything went down. he was a cruel man and seemed to hate me. there were many times where he would grow upset with me and would be unable to finish during intercourse because of "how disgusting i am."

my boyfriend knows about this and has been nothing but loving and supportive to me. he is the sweetest man on earth and i know he loves me more than anything. but i just feel so hurt by him right now. we made love twice that day; the first time he awkwardly pulled out and nodded when i asked if he finished, and fixed himself up before i could even notice anything. the second time, he admitted that he just couldn't get there. i was really disappointed, especially because he seemed really excited about this an initiated it both times. today he admitted to me that he had lied about the first time and just didn't want me to feel bad, which honestly makes me feel worse.

we've been arguing about it, and he was upset that i had compared the situation to my first male partner. i wasn't trying to put him in the same shoes, but i wanted him to understand that it gave me that same gross feeling. like i completely diminished myself to the needs of a man and i couldn't even do that right. i can't help but be upset that he lied, and it feels so humiliating. i don't know if ill be able to bring myself to make love with him again. every time i tell him that, he laughs and jokes that i won't be able to keep my hands to myself, and i keep trying to express how serious i feel about this. it just feels like i keep being brushed off. i know this is an AITAH post, and i am 100% here for judgement, but also open to many advice anyone would be willing to offer me.

So she had promised me a while ago that she wouldn't drink for the first time if I wasn't there. So low and behold she tells me shes gonna drink at this party that I may or may not be able to attend, and so I asked her if she could just not if I didn't go, to which she responded that she already told everyone she was gonna drink so she had to. Meaning our promise meant less than her promise to friends and random people. When i asked her about it she called me replaceable and threatened to cheat. Am i crazy?