r/self • u/Basic-advertisment10 • 10h ago
My body can’t keep up with my brain
I struggle with debilitating intrusive thoughts and an intense lack of motivation to complete anything including small everyday tasks and i feel like my brain is playing tug of war. This is lowkey the only place i feel like i can go because im too scared to share my feelings in real life but i need to vent so hard about this cause i have a pit in my chest everyday. My intrusive thoughts range from things like contamination to harm, attraction, perfectionism, basically anything it can latch onto at the moment and the compulsions that come along with those thoughts are just as tiring. So when that clashes with my feeling of inability to do anything i get stuck in like a paralysis feeling. My brain is telling me to do this and that and i’m frozen in place because i don’t have any mental energy to get up and do it. It takes me hours, sometimes i even fall asleep while waiting for myself to get up and do a simple task like turning off the lights. Everyday i just get crushing anxiety over what’s going to go wrong during my day because by the time i wake up my brains already feeding into whatever bullshit is stirring in it today. I feel like static, i want to accomplish so much more than i do but i can’t keep up with the polar opposite sides of myself. It wears me out. Does anyone feel the same? i feel very isolated.
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u/Crafty-Emphasis-7904 10h ago
holy damn that sounds awful. are you working with someone on meds?
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u/Basic-advertisment10 9h ago
unfortunately i don’t really have much control over that for a little while since im a minor and my parents have a complicated background with meds so they don’t really want me to have any. I really want some though 😭 i don’t have much longer till i can legally get them myself so i’m glad about that
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u/StrawberryRaspberryK 8h ago
At least talk to a school counsellor so you can get some emotional support. You sound like you may have depression.
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u/Basic-advertisment10 3h ago
depression would make sense i’m not really sure the signs/symptoms of depression but there has been cases in my family. sadly my school is very small and doesn’t have a school counselor or anything like even slightly adjacent to that either. i do have people i could go to outside of that just for like venting help like nobody in my life makes me feel unsafe physically or mentally it’s just like my own anxieties getting in the way so that’s like a me problem 😅
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u/Slow_Bill3952 3h ago
That can definitely be a tough situation to navigate. Hopefully, they find a good balance with the right support.
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u/Visible-Perception40 2h ago
That’s rough, other than sitting with the discomfort, eat less sugar, make sure to get enough sleep at the same time ish, and do excercises that connect to your body e.g yoga or dancing. Go for a 15 min walk to get your mind of things. There are supplements that can help too but for now take a step at a time and see how it improves your situation. Ik it sucks :/
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u/auggs 30m ago
Idk if this can help but the brain/inner space is basically endless. If your compulsive thoughts are taking too much “room” in one area of your mind, you can always put your attention/“self” in another area of your mind. I’ve struggled with intrusive thoughts like that before and seeing it in this way helped me a lot. It took practice at first but eventually I realized I’m always myself, no matter how I’m feeling or how intrusive thoughts made me feel. It used to bother me so much because the intrusive thoughts would take up a portion of my attention and focus and I always felt like I was running at 30% brain power and I would get frustrated and angry and feel helpless over it all. Intrusive thoughts are one of those things that is such a personal battle that it’s difficult to give any type of advice or insight that can help. It’s different for everybody that experiences it. Just remember that you’re not alone and there are mental health professionals that will listen to everything you have to say without judgement. Some psychiatrists will listen to what you have to say and then just offer some pills based on what you think will work best. Another thing that helped me, because my intrusive thoughts were abusive in nature, was remembering the the insight “never ask an abuser why they did something because you’ll never really get closure and it only opens the door for more gaslighting, abuse and manipulation”. Closure has to come from your end, which seems unfair but it’s also kind of nice you get to set the terms for how you move on from these things. And then idk where you live but here in the USA there are mental health hotlines you can call, and while they’re not perfect, they can get your email and send you resources, contacts and links for mental health help in your exact area where you live and it can also be nice to just talk to someone, even if it’s just to have an outside source for just a few moments. Can help a lot. Hope you get through this man, there’s a better and happier you on the other side of it and you deserve to find that peace and happiness. Good luck man 😁🙏
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u/bugleboy42 10h ago
You’re not alone
Suffer every day with my OCD
Learning to stop giving it control is the most important thing you can do. Let them happen and don’t fight it. Eventually it will get less and less intense