Let me paint a simple picture. I’m out in the bar/club dancing with friends and whatnot. Then I spotted to the right of me two girls that seemed to be friends and two guys that seemed to be friends, flirting and talking to one another.

But the problem was that one of the girls kept looking at me and brushing my hand, and when I looked up to see who done it she’d already be looking at me. I kind of gestured to her and the guy she was talking to like an “are ye together” type of gesture and she nodded no.

Now the problem wasn’t me going and talking to her, the problem was I couldn’t bring myself to do it cause I felt pity towards the guy like the guy’s friend was doing fine with the other girl and it would be shame if he wasn’t the same.

I did see all 4 of them leave together but now I’m pondering on a what if. Is there ethics in all of this or is it a dog-eat-dog world?​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Sooo this is a doozie

How do i put this, lately ive been stepping up my game, flirting with a lot of women and making my intent obvious. A lot of these I get to know while partying or other activities and I get into their friend group. However sometimes when I try to make moves on them, even if they like me or reciprocate the whole group seems to scorn me. Like her 5 male orbiters and cabalah of women friends will brainwash her into thinking im not a good deal, and this has happened already twice. I had become good friends with them and its just a bit sad losing friendships just because of that, and it makes me much more sad compared to just getting rejected by a girl. The second time it was weirder, we were on a birthday, having fun, all of us very drunk. Then I got some alone time after everyone went home, we didnt make out or anything but we exchanged numbers and it was pretty obvious she wanted to see me again. The next day all her friends were looking at me very judgamentaly and it was obvious there was a change of mood. Like they see me as a threat now or something.

Im nothing close to a player, Ive had my flings and a short relationship, and after a dry spell I decided to go full ham mode with women and it seems like some people, specially their male friends take it very badly. To me it seems like they thought they had a chance with them just because they are friends, but i never saw them flirting or making any kind of moves so I tought it was open game.

Any tips for this, or do I just have to cope with the fact?

So your life is "fine and dandy" and you are "good on paper" yet you cannot get any pussy? Why is that?

Well what if your life wasn't as fine as society and friends told you (as they didn't want to hurt your precious feelings). What if that was the real case?

I mean, how do you know your life is "fine and dandy", what metric do you use?

Did I hit my gym PRs?

Is my paycheck coming through?

Did my team win the match?

Am I staying out of trouble?

I mean if the answer to all of these is yes, then surely you must be a "real catch" right? Women must be gagging for some of your meat?

In that vacuum, you can be an anxious mess, completely out of touch with your emotions, running on toxic childhood scripts, and acting completely ungrounded. As long as your bills are paid and your friends aren't actively calling you out, you will assume you are perfectly fine. The internal machinery can be completely fucked up, but because the external feedback is all good, you see no issues.

Unless you are a real mess, unable to get a job, unable to get friends what so ever.... women are the only real way to see if you are broken or whole.

Women act as an immediate, emotional mirror that men simply don't have anywhere else in their lives. Sure your mommy and daddy will give you a pat on your head and say you are "fine the way you are", but that does not cut it in this day and age. No longer can you use your money to basically buy a woman and enslave her in your house with promise of a roof over her head.

The Subconscious Signal Receiver: A guy might think he’s acting completely "cool and confident," or "Alpha as fuck" but a woman will pick up on the micro-tensions, the subtle outcome-dependency, the forced jokes, or the performative edge in three seconds. When she hit him with "Something is missing" or "You're acting a bit creepy", it’s like hitting a brick wall.

The Breaking of the Script: In male spaces or corporate/church environments, people politely play along with performative behavior to keep the peace. Women in dating environments have zero incentive to play along with a guy's script. If the vibe is off, they simply disengage or walk away. They will just fob you off, as you bring nothing to the table. Even if they just want cock, a dildo might serve better in some cases.

Female rejection is effectively the universe's forced software update for men who would otherwise happily run on outdated, broken operating systems forever.

I am 26 freaking years old and STILL single. I am getting to the age now where being alone is seriously beginning to take a toll on my psyche. Every day I open up social media and am bombarded by friends of mine announcing yet another fucking engagement. The same old perfectly choreographed proposal and facial expressions. I swear it’s like every fucking day at this point. While I’m obviously happy for them, there’s a level of bitterness that builds since I go through every year, every holiday alone, forced to watch everyone else experience love and affection.

It’s not like I’m not trying either. I’ve started putting myself out there more. As a matter of fact I just had a first date yesterday, but the girl has essentially friendzoned me now that we’ve met in person. I know you’re not supposed to take rejection personally, and that you’re supposed to get used to experiencing it multiple times but man, I’ve been rejected and friendzoned so many times at this point it’s starting to hurt. I’m beginning to lose hope to be honest.

I’m beginning to wonder if it’s just my looks at this point. I’m told I’m a funny guy. I’m told I’m cool and can make friends with guys smoothly. But with women it’s a completely different story. I have an asymmetrical face. I am skinny. I have an underbite that’s noticeable when I smile, and have extremely dry wrinkled skin due to eczema. In the year 2026, when women have an excess of average men at their disposal at all times, I’m simply not up to par with modern dating standards, and I just don’t think anything I can physically do can change that, since all of my issues with my appearance are due to genetic factors. I’ve looked into surgical procedures to mitigate these shortcomings, but they all would cost tens of thousands of dollars and multiple years of my life to successfully complete. In the case of my underbite, it’d take at least 2 years to fix.

I’m posting here because I need someone to give me honest feedback, preferably via DMs, on what is wrong with me. Am I too skinny for my age? Is the underbite holding me back? How can I looksmax? I need to know what I’m doing wrong here and what needs to change, bc clearly something does. I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of watching my youth slip away from me year after year.

I’m 31M and I’ve noticed a pretty frustrating pattern with dating over the last year or so.

I don’t really struggle to get dates, and quite a few of them go well on paper. I’ve had plenty of first-date kisses or even gone all the way on occasion.

The weird thing is, when I’m not that interested in someone, they often seem keen to meet again. But when I meet someone I’m genuinely excited about, it feels like they’re much more likely to lose interest.

Two recent examples:

One girl and I had a really great first date, we played pool, darts and went for a few drinks. Then we had a second date a week later where we kissed and she said she wanted to see me again. She messaged afterwards saying she’d had a lovely time, but then became more distant and eventually said she didn’t think she could commit to anything because she was going away for a few months.

A fact she'd made clear in messages when we first started talking so it's not like this was suddenly a new issue.

More recently, I had a first date with someone else that went well. We were trying to arrange another date but before that happened we randomly ended up bumping into each other at a speed-dating event we’d both already booked. We ended up staying out together for another hour after everyone left, had a laugh and a few good kisses, and she messaged the next morning joking that it had been a “bonus date”.

A few days later I asked if we were still meeting and she said she felt like we got on but that “something was missing”.

I’m not saying either of them did anything wrong or owed me another date. I’m more wondering if this is just normal girl behaviour or if it's likely I'm doing something wrong without realising it?

I probably do get a bit more nervous and maybe try harder to be funny or interesting. With women I’m less bothered about, I’m much more relaxed because I’m not really thinking about the outcome.

Has anyone else had this pattern?

I didn't want to ramble on too long so if you want me to go into more details about anything just let me know!

I’m looking for one (maybe two) solid guys in LA to go out with and practice approaching.

Only message me if you actually fit this:

• You work on yourself
• You’re not afraid of rejection
• You understand social dynamics
• You don’t care what random people think
• You have real standards and principles

My rules if we go out together:

• We take turns opening our own sets
• Each man has the choice of who he wants
• Never hit on the girl the other is talking to
• Open communication at all times
• We give each other solid criticism, even if it’s hard , but based on actual facts, not ego
• We’re not here to say yes to any woman just to get laid

I’m open to both day game and night game (coffee shops, farmer’s markets, chill busy events, etc.).

Important:

We’re not going out to get drunk.

Maximum one drink (or no alcohol).

The mission is to practice game, open sets, and improve, not to party.

I believe success comes from abundance, standards, and not giving a fuck what women say or think. Discipline > desperation.

If you’re the type who just wants to get laid by any means and has no frame, don’t message me.

If you’re serious, disciplined, and actually working on your game the right way, send me a message and tell me a bit about yourself and where you’re at.

Looking for quality, not quantity.

You see the girl. You have all these thoughts like I have no idea what to say. They could be rude to me. I could get humiliated.

You don't want the people around you to see you approach. You feel nervous. You feel like that girl won't be interested in you.

You make yourself do it anyway. Generally within seconds. If you wait any longer than a few seconds, then usually the approach isn't getting done. So you throw yourself in there and your brain comes up with something to say. And you just do that over and over. You get into a flow state after back to back interactions, and then those thoughts disappear for a while.

At some point something might throw you off like a harsh rejection or the girl's friend that you didn't meet yet comes in with a different vibe, and it affects you. And now some of those thoughts can come 6 you have to remember to keep doing what you were doing. Keep approaching.

Later you evaluate what you did well and what you can improve and focus on making those improvements next time.

You become more resilient over time and are emotionally unaffected. And you know what to do and say and how to carry yourself in these interactions due to throwing yourself in so many times.

Is this how you learn to talk to girls.

I've watched so many videos from youtube and paid products and I understand the theory but when I go out and see a girl or a group of girls I'm still like I don't know what to say.

A part of me almost knows this is how it's done, but I'd be curious if there's any more too it. Will our brain learn what to say and how to respond just by putting ourselves in those situations a lot and analyzing what we did right and what we did wrong.

This isn’t a post to brag. I honestly need help.

I’ve been using dating apps for a couple of years by now. I just moved to a new city where I’ve been scheduling 3 dates every week, and this entire time I’ve been on dating apps, it’s kinda rare I’ve had a week without a date or some meetup planned.

I think I may have dated too much. Every date is a repeat from the next, and I’m using the same formula, jokes, and flirts for everything single date—it just feels robotic. I’ve always wanted to settle down and marry someone, but now it feels impossible to make a connection. Each woman I meet seems easily replaceable and doesn’t provide me with something I can’t provide themselves—in fact, I’ve realized most seem take. This isn’t a proven fact at all, I’m just sharing how my biases have been twisted and my relationships have turned purely transactional for me.

Right now, I’ve been taking dating a bit more slow, going on dates with one single person to establish a connection. But in the back of my mind, all the negative thoughts and apathy that were driven into me from my dating experiences are still there.

If we’re speaking strictly seduction, there’s no fun in flirting or using different methods to talk to someone. It all just seems the same now. Same goes for sex. Thought I was really into it, now I don’t care for it and seems like a chore.

Does anyone know how to get rid of this problem? Again, I’m not trying to boast or give tips. I’m seeking help.

looks is 15% of game

Confidence, keeping convo going, leading, having social intelligence, speaking your mind naturally, sexualziing makes her into you.

Soon enough all these attriburtes become engrained and a part of your personality.

And then you'll reach a level where you feel like you didnt do anything but girls keep loving you.

Its because you put in the work intitally now its a habit and normal.