I don’t know why it bothers me so much when people ask if they can see what the donor looks like but it does. Why does it matter? Maybe others have different perspectives they can share so I can stop being so bothered by it.

I have eggs, plenty lol. I’d be open to do a cycle entirely for altruistic donation for a queer couple, however I cannot carry a pregnancy. So wonder what type of arrangement could be interesting for both parties.

More (skippable) context:

I may eventually want an anonymous sperm donor, but the idea is last on my list: I’d prefer to have a partner romantic or not to coparent, so the not-so-anonymous-donor is also on the table.

I’m giving it a few more tries finding a romantic partner and later just a co-parent partner, before calling it out and going the anonymous donor route. In the meantime I’m freezing eggs. I’m in the trans spectrum… I guess? But not on HRT. And hella fertile for my age! Just banked 15 eggs, and that’s where the idea came from.

So, any ideas or orientation on how other people has done this is welcome.

Looking for a little baby dust magic as my wife (30F) and I (30F) have our first FET. We had three failed medicated IUI rounds and one round of IVF where we have 6 frozen embryos (16 retrieved, 14 mature, 6 fertilized, and 6 made it to blast). Three of the 6 are 5AA. We had our fresh transfer canceled due to high progesterone. We are doing a modified natural transfer cycle (just progesterone suppositories). Just looking for a little hope and good vibes ❤️🧚🏻✨❤️

And it’s hard to wrap my mind around why.. I’m 24. Doing IVF because i’m in a same sex relationship. 1 failed IUI. I’m 7dp5dt today and stark white. Was supposed to be natural cycle but they found I wasn’t developing a follicle so switched me to medicated. i kind of wish i advocated and asked for another ultrasound because all i’ve felt this whole TWW and even before was ovulation like cramping. I wonder if my body just needed more time. For context, ER was 8/4. Period 8/9. Off BC 8/14, transfer 8/31. But i also can’t keep wondering, i’m young, relatively healthy, why wouldn’t it work? I know people have gone through worse and longer waiting than me, i still just can’t help feeling like my body failed.

And I'm SO overwhelmed. For a bit of background my wife happens to be trans. We're not in America. We're in our 40s.

The doctor got my AMH results which are very high because unknown to me until today I have PMOS. I'm going to be starting a specific supplement to improve egg quality.

He then sent me off for bloods and swabs.

We have to have eggs harvested and go on the list for donor sperm (my wife didn't bank).

In between all of this I have to have fibroids removed and be tested for endo.

Has anyone made this happen in their 40s or are we just chasing a dream?

Curious what people’s experiences have been now that the new CA SB 729 coverage has been in effect this year- specifically related to two female couples, reciprocal IVF and if it’s possible to both retrieve initially even if we don’t want to both carry right away.

Any advice and insight on the process is appreciated, thanks

I’d love to hear anything about your experience of finding a donor from a sperm bank.

What were you looking for specifically when choosing a donor? Did you look for someone who could resemble your partner and have similar features as them? Did you pick a donor who wanted to remain anonymous, or one who would be open to meeting the child if they ended up ever wanting to meet when they got older? Were their specific traits you looked for? Are there any red flags you looked out for?

I’m open to hearing anything else you want to share. You don’t even need to answer those questions! Would love to just hear how you went about choosing. There are so many donors. It’s overwhelming. Did the sperm bank help guide you in your pick? Did your doctor help you? Did genetic testing play a big role in who you were able to choose?

Hi everyone! My husband and I are planning to start the process for IVF next fall, and I was hoping to get a bit more information about other couples in a similar situation to mine and their experiences with reciprocal IVF.

My husband (FTM) has already gone through egg retrieval surgery (before getting a full hysterectomy) and the eggs have been frozen for the last ~6-7 years. For insurance, the company I work for has offered fertility benefits through WINFertility, which seem to have mixed reviews. The plan my company offers with WIN are lifetime maximums of 100k for treatments, 100k for medications, and 10k for donor sperm. Unfortunately, we don't have anyone in our lives who we'd feel comfortable with asking to be the sperm donor, so we will be using a sperm bank.

I guess the questions I have right now about RIVF are as follows:

- If you used WIN, what was your experience?

- How long did it take from retrieval to when the first embryo was implanted?

- Do you have any recommendations for what I should start doing now to prepare?

- What was the process for getting a sperm donor?

- What other things should I know about the process?

Thank you in advance!

Originally my wife and I were going to look into adoption, but then 2024 happened which made international adoption illegal and domestic adoption is practically impossible (Nederland). This year I looked more in to IUI and my wife is on board with me getting fertility testing done and on a waiting list (which the waiting lists are 2 to 3 years long right now for the clinic I'd want). But the rest of my family is not even remotely on board. Even my wife thinks I wouldn't handle pregnancy due to my sensory issues. When I brought it up with my mother she just laughed at me. My father reacted with anger. My sister said I've got a niece so that's enough (who is 9,000 miles away). Growing up I never got to experience a growing family. Aside from my niece, I am the youngest person in my family. I've already experienced 15 deaths, and everyone I know and love is probably going to die before me. I want to experience bringing life into this world and to have a family I can grow old with. The fact my family finds that laughable due to my Autism makes me so upset in ways I'm not sure I can even properly convey. I am tired of this idea that Autism means someone can't be a good parent. They still see the old me who was a non-verbal sped kid with a 1:1 aide. It's like they struggle to see just how far I have come. I successfully moved to another country, I have three college degrees now, I worked at a daycare, I am opening a business soon, I successfully trained the world's most stubborn dog breed. I am tired of having to prove myself capable instead of just getting inherent support. I'm thousands of miles away from my family so it's not like they'd even be a part of the process. Just even a simple "you've got this- you're capable" would go such a long way.

My wife and I did at home insemintaion with a known donor in June and were unsuccessful.
Due to scheduling issues after I got my period we were unable to try again for my next ovulation cycle. Beginning of August we were in a car accident. I got a concussion and haven’t gotten my period since.
Has anyone else experienced this?
I know a concussion can have an effect on the pituitary gland but how long is this going to be an issue?

I have a doctors appointment scheduled but it’s not until the end of the month and I’m anxiously waiting to see what can be tested/done to fix me.
I’m scared something is seriously wrong with me.

I’m scared that it won’t be able to be fixed and we lost our only chance.
My wife has adenomyosis, VERY unpredictable periods with chronic pain, a family history of pregnancy complications, and medication that is not safe for pregnancy so we don’t really have another option.

Please limit your pregnancy celebrations and pregnancy test photos to this thread.

Hi everyone! My wife (33f) and I (30f) are going through our first FET this month via rIVF. I will be carrying. I just started estrace yesterday and feel a bit nauseous today. What are everyone’s experiences being on estrace? I have some spotting and read online that that’s normal. I know I can just Google it but I prefer to hear others experiences first hand especially from our inclusive community. Trying not to freak out!

Edit: it’s Estrace. No idea why my phone autocorrected to Estrada.

Hi, I'm (ftm pre everything) wondering if (and if so when) I should take a pregnancy test?

I don't want to accidentally take it too early.

My period is currently 4 days late, it's usually regular, I'm not more stressed than usual and I've no clear symptoms that would indicate a pregnancy. About 20 DPO My entire cycle is usually 28 days (5 days long period) and I'm currently on day 32

I did have unprotected intimacy and it happened to be just the day before ovulation (not planned but also not prevented)

When should I test?

Everywhere I look it says different things

"Test the day of your missed period"

"Test 2 weeks after intimacy"

"Test 3(or 4) weeks after intimacy" - both said by nurses

Or even "test 1 week after your missed period"

I'm so confused 😕

EDIT: Update, I tested and it's negative, I'm now even more confused why my period is now 5 days late

My wife and I are in the process of going through our first round of reciprocal IVF. I will be carrying the pregnancy and we will be using her egg. We only plan on telling our friends and family once we are pregnant. Which who knows when that will happen.

We’re wanting to be careful about how much detail we do give when we start announcing it and talking about it. We know there will be questions like who’s egg, who’s sperm blablabla. We are okay with discussing things but want to make it clear to them that this type of information shouldn’t be publicly shared with everyone because it’s our story to tell. My wife is also more private than I am so I’m wanting to really honour that and be careful about navigating the inevitable questions.

I’m just curious to hear about y’all’s experience with sharing details about this journey with people in your life and how you manage the questions and how you set the boundaries. I’m not worried about it per se, I’m just wanting to know what I might expect, what type of questions do others tend to ask, how I might prepare, and how others navigated making their journey more public with their circle. Thanks!!

I'm so excited! I've just had my HSG and it was normal, internal scan was a few weeks ago and everything was looking good there too. We should have an appointment in a few weeks where we can hopefully choose a donor, and then its go-time!

We first went to the Dr's in January so it feels like its taken such a long time to reach this point, but now we're very nearly taking the first steps! Our best friend has literally just had a baby so (fingers crossed all goes well with IUI) it would be wonderful if they can grow up close in age together

Has anyone gone through the process of RIVF using the GIC insurance coverage provided to MA state employees? What were your out of pocket costs approximately? Were you able to get the plan to reimburse you for sperm purchased from a cryobank? Are any of the available plans significantly better or worse for fertility coverage?

Hello! We are a cis lesbian couple just starting IVF, and one of our friends will be our donor. I was wondering if anyone here works for the city and has been going to RMA. They have referred us to a sperm back, Aligneage, to process our donor's genetic testing, sperm analysis, storage, etc. It looks like we're also supposed to transport the sperm ourselves, or they can do it for an extra fee.

I've got a few questions:

- Any ideas as to why they are using this third-party service, when my sister and her husband did all of this in-house at RMA?

- If you have used Aligneage with our new health insurance plan, how much was covered after submitting Aligneage's paperwork?

Thanks for your time,
Rachel

Hi! My wife and I are planning to do IVF with donor sperm using my eggs early next year. I have an autosomal dominant genetic mutation that we’ll be doing PGT M testing for. I just got my AMH level back, and it’s 1.91. I’m 29 and am feeling a bit discouraged as my AMH seems to be on the lower end of normal for my age. We don’t have IVF insurance coverage and we’re hoping to get away with one retrieval, but I’m worried now we’ll have to do several to get enough embryos. I’d love to hear from people who have similar AMH levels and how many eggs and embryos they ended up with. Thank you in advance!

Like FR though. My wife is beautiful, used to model. Conventionally beautiful. I’m definitely less good looking than my wife. By a good few rankings. I’m riddled with adhd too.

Our first kid together is 2, she’s absolutely gorgeous and an amazing temperament. I know every parent is biased but I do think she’s cuter-than-average. The donor is pretty handsome too so at least 50% of my bio baby has that 😂

I’m 15 weeks, what if baby pops out and its the spitting image of me, then has to spend their life with this beautiful sibling wishing they got the other genes… and then baby 2 is mental just like me 😂

Obviously this is all a bit of a joke but also not really

Hey Folks!! My name is Beth (she/her) and I am a psychology doctorate student and University East London. I am conducting my thesis research on trans and gender diverse people's experiences of fertility treatment for conception in the UK. I am looking to speak with trans and gender diverse people who have had (or a co-parent/partner has had) fertility treatment to try and grow their family. This could be diy or through a clinic. I am really hoping that this research will improve reproductive healthcare for trans and gender diverse people. This study has had consultation from trans people and has ethical clearance from UEL. Please feel free to share with anyone who might be interested. If you are open to taking part, please feel free to reply here or contact me on my instagram beth_atkins_psy ! Thank you for reading :)

Hi! I am currently going through IUI treatment (same sex couple, I have endo and PCOS) thinking about switching clinics and looking for advice on whether I should or not :/

My first cycle was cancelled because I ran out of medication. During my first scan follicles weren’t mature enough and I warned them I only had enough injections for three more days. They said they would figure it out. Three days later and next scan also not mature enough. Was advised at that point they would have to cancel cycle because they couldn’t get me more meds at short notice.

This cost almost half of the treatment cost again. I paid the price to continue and almost a week later have heard nothing. Nada. I have tried to get in contact but no response. Is this normal? Is it normal for no one to reach out during stimulation to check in?? This is my first time and really wondering if it is all worth it :(

Hi!!

Would love if people would share their process as the carrier? Looking for stories from the very start to finish! Meds you took, how you prepared your bodies, shots I should expect? Starting this process from the start and beginning my research so I would love all the help and information from folks who have been there!

Also, I know that starting to track things like my period, ovulation, and more is a good thing to start with the process so i planned on getting the Mira tracker, thoughts on that would be great too.

Again, I’m starting from scratch and want to begin my research and start sharing things with my partner too as they do theirs!

Thank you!

Hi.

I was diagnosed with RRMS in feb 26, got my first dose of Rituximab in march. MRI after that was good - disease were calm and had not advanced. I have scheduled Rituximab in mid september.

The thing is... me and my girlfriend had the plan TTC our 2. baby this fall. I just dont want to wait too long because of MS. I am 36, and we have an embryo made with rIVF ready to go. The neurologist were really vage about the whole thing. We have an appointment with the fertilityclinic next week. Anyone have any input or experience with this?