I just found out and can’t tell anyone so please just be excited with me 🤗

For context, I am pregnant with my first child at 39 (will be 40 when he is born). I have had two miscarriages and went through a year of IVF for this pregnancy. From the outset, I have made it clear that I don’t want a baby shower. I don’t want to be center of attention, and I honestly don’t love the concept of showers in general (to me it feels like a tacky way to request gifts, although I appreciate that I’m in the minority here). I feel awkward requesting gifts for a baby that was very much planned when my partner and I are older and financially stable. My mother is insisting on throwing a shower. I am starting to feel resentful because she’s not listening to my hesitations at all. I feel like she just wants to parade me in front of her friends whose daughter’s showers she has attended. Am I being unreasonable? Thank you for reading!

i just turned 35 weeks and pregnancy has been quite fun for me. until this week.

like… it feels like she is suddenly a full sized baby and is moving literally nonstop. her head is so far down in my pelvis that my bladder constantly feels insane at having a few tablespoons of piss in it. leaning over and standing back up makes my cervix feel lightning crotch. laying down doesn’t really help relieve the pressure because then she just starts pelting me in the intestines and stomach.

i burp and fart so much and i poop these stupid poops multiple times a day that are just a result of her bashing her knees and face into my colon, and not because i have an actual fully cooked poop in there.

and this isn’t even a fully cooked baby.

how the fuckkkk is she gonna get bigger and stronger for another MONTH???!!! and then I gotta PUSH HER OUT? I was worried about not having enough newborn size clothes and sleep sacs or whatever so I bought some last week and then she promptly grew into what feels like a small toddler in my intestines and rib cage.

I will be very surprised if my body manages to make it to full gestational age. this jump in activity and apparent growth spurt is absolutely mental.

send halp.

Needed to write this down for my own memory because woah that was one hell of a journey to our big beautiful baby boy! 

I’m a FTM - and my water broke at home at 39 weeks on the dot at 10:45 pm on my husband’s birthday! I had made him spicy buffalo chicken wings for dinner (his fave) so now I believe the old wives tale is true, and spice CAN indeed induce labor…

We texted our doula who recommended we just try to relax and sleep at home and hopefully contractions start. My water breaking was not a big dramatic gush like in the movies, it was just a constant trickle that kept running down my leg for forever. Not what I expected at all- I threw on a pad which was the move because it ended up continuing to slowly leak along with my mucus plug and a bloody show. At this point I was like okay this is happening!!! I was all fired up on adrenaline and knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep right away so I actually went for a short walk on our treadmill to calm my shakiness/nerves, and then we watched some Netflix to wind down before attempting sleep. I started having cramping that became consistent contractions every 20 min at 2 am. They felt like really strong period cramps. They didn’t ramp up a whole lot in the night, but by 6 am I knew I wasn’t going to be able to sleep anymore and wanted to fuel up on some protein and get things packed and organized for the hospital. 

We started timing the contractions in the morning, and at this point they were every 5 minutes but only about 40 seconds in duration and not super powerful. I fueled up with some eggs and sausage for breakfast and tried to relax as much as possible. As the contractions continued to increase in intensity, it got harder and harder to focus on anything else. At about 1 pm, I noticed a shift where I started to feel nauseous and sweaty and had to really focus on getting through them so we decided it was time to head in!

It was a 40 min ride to the hospital. (I was on hands and knees in the backseat lol) We arrived in triage where our doula met us and found out I was 90 percent effaced, 5 cm, -2 so we were able to check into the birthing suite. At this point everyone was super jazzed up by the almost textbook experience - HA why did we get our hopes up. Anyway! I changed into my birthing gown and started to really focus in on active laboring from 3-8 pm - I used my birthing comb, tried the toilet, birthing ball, shower, tens machine (hated it and needed it ripped off immediately) counter pressure and walking. I ended up liking being on my hands and knees with my face covered for most contractions. It was getting to be HARD work, and I was getting discouraged so asked for a check and found out I was at 8 cm!! Okay cool let transition begin- everyone was fired up about this and gave me reassurance that this is the hardest part but don’t worry it will be the quickest - again we spoke way too soon!

Flash forward to 2 am- I am STILL in freaking transition literally having my body rocked by crazy strong contractions. No pain meds or interventions at this point, I am still just trying to grind through. One small lip of my cervix is not budging and holding things up. Somewhere at the 9 cm mark, my amazing, supportive husband who has not left my side this entire time, lets go of my white knuckled vice grip to grab my water bottle, and next thing I know I hear a huge horrible crash and 8 people come sprinting into the room. Turns out he fell backwards when he let go of my hand and hit his head on metal rail on way down and is now passed out on the floor. He only loses consciousness for a few seconds, but it was a bad fall and his head is bleeding and they can’t let him move off the ground. So at this point I’m at 9 cm, naked on my hands and knees, bright lights are on, 8 people are attending to him on the floor, someone mercifully chucks a blanket over my bare ass while I am screaming between contractions “IS HE OKAY? Is he paralyzed!??” My husband calls out he’s okay but the care team tells us he has to be taken out on a stretcher and have a CT scan and sutures in the ER due to the extent of the head wound. Now at this point I’m REALLY freaking out because I know I’m at 9 cm and the ER could take forever and I can’t lose my support person and have my husband miss the birth of his first born son. So I honestly just hit a mental wall and start to cry that I can’t do it anymore. They ask if I have anyone else to call for support and promise to rush him as fast as they can to the ER, but my body basically just shuts down and gives up at this point.

I stay stuck at 9 cm until he comes back (in a record 45 min THANK YOU ER for expediting him so fast!) and at this point I’ve got nothing left to give and am still not progressing / being held up by a small anterior lip and they want to give me pitocin. I honestly tell them there’s no way I can handle pitocin after laboring for so long, and I ask for the epidural. It’s been almost 30 hours at this point from when contractions started, and I have a strong gut feeling that I need time to relax/sleep to get through with this. The anesthesiologist was in a C section so I try different positions for 1 more hour while I get my IV fluids and then finally he comes in -looking less than thrilled to have to try to stick the needle in a woman battling through 9 cm contractions. I lock in and use every ounce of mental fortitude to sit still like a rock for him, and he was actually very impressed that I did not move a muscle and we got the epidural placed perfectly. 

The epidural was lovely - it knocked out the worse of my back pain, while still leaving plenty of feeling in my legs. I slept for 1 hour with a peanut ball, said some prayers, and woke up 10 cm, cervical lip moved, ready to push! I looked at the clock at this point and was like by god I need this over immediately, so really gave pushing my all and got my 8lb 12 ounce baby boy out in an hour!! I had a 2nd degree tear and a smidge of hemorrhaging that needed treatment, but at this point I am on cloud 9 and feel like I could do anything in the world and could care less was just so happy to be done!! I felt the ring of fire, the head come out, the SHOULDER (ow why does no one warn you about this being just as bad as the head!!) the sutures and the scraping for clots - so really feel like I got the true experience lol. In hindsight, I wish I had gotten the epidural at 8 cm, but I was progressing so well at that point there was no way to know! Everything happens for a reason, and I believe my husband was smacked down as my wake up call to get the meds so that I could relax enough to get baby out safely. Baby was a trooper and HR didn’t drop a single time during the long labor and my husband made it back in plenty of time with 12 bloody sutures in the back of his head to watch delivery and cut the cord. All's well that ends well (although my husband may never live it down lol) 

I’m 8 weeks pregnant and considering leaving my corporate job, and I’m wondering if I’m crazy lol.
My husband and I already know I realistically won’t be able to return after maternity leave because of our childcare situation. We don’t have much family nearby who can help, and we’ve decided daycare 5 days a week isn’t something we want to do. It would also cost close to or more than what I make.
My job offers 4 months of maternity leave, but there are repayment rules: if I don’t return for at least 30 days, we owe back the employer-paid insurance benefits, and if I don’t stay for 6 months, we owe back all of the maternity pay.
So I’m debating whether to:
Quit now and find something part-time/remote
Stay until closer to my due date and resign before maternity leave

My husband (29) and I (28) were TTC for three years since we got married. Context: i have PCOS/PMOS, subclinical hypothyroidism. We got pregnant this yr April naturally and we’re the happiest! Ofc took my prenatals religiously. Few weeks ago, I had this really bad/SEVERE pain on my right lower abdo. We went to our private clinic and my OB reassured that “baby’s perfect and okay”. They then advised that if it happens again, to go to emergency care. Lo and behold it happened again the next day around nighttime and so we went to ED. We waited 12 hrs in total (which i totally understand triaging and all bc I’m a healthcare worker myself). We just wanted answers. They booked us for an ultrasound. I was 18 weeks that time and they did an anatomy scan. They sadly found that our baby girl has spina bifida. I was 18 weeks and 4 days (and it was a Friday AND i was their last patient for the day). We were so devastated. Cried for days and we were lost. We had another appointment that Monday and indeed our baby girl has it. We decided to terminate the pregnancy bc it’s the kindest way for our baby. The SB already affected her L2 and L3, she’ll have urinary and faecal incontinence when she gets born. Her frontal skull’s already coned bc part of her brain’s already sagging behind due to her spina bifida. She’s very loved and we were excited to meet her but life turned differently. I gave birth to our beautiful baby girl 4 days ago at 19 weeks and 4 days. It hurts to see her frozen body. Already has facial features and all. I still cannot comprehend what happened. The physical pain is easy bc i can take analgesia. But the mental torture? I think that’s the hardest part. It all happened in a week. I’m having postpartum thing or whatever you call it, but i have no physical baby to nourish. To mamas out there that have similar experience, can you give me comforting words that it’ll get better? I’m scared of a lot of stuff. Scared of not being able to conceive again. Scared that if ever i will in the future, it will be around fear of something’s gonna go wrong again and gonna lose my baby. 😢❤️‍🩹

I am 23 weeks pregnant and at no point has any health professional ever told me how important enough choline and omega 3 are. All the talk is only about folate. I did the research myself so have been taking it since the start, but just want to share this so that other people might see it and realise the importance!

I am 4w3d! I found out very early three weeks. I am feeling really good, but I just want to get some advice from all of you beautiful souls on the first trimester.

Please give me some of your best advice, tips or positive stories!

I would really love to hear what helped you, also anything educational like Podcasts or YouTube is great too. I’m really avoiding just wait content and I am really trying to curate a positive space for myself. So I would love to hear the best from you all 🤍 and hopefully this helps other women too!

So far, here is some great advice I’ve been given:

- From my sister: Tell one person from each consistent part of your life, so one person from work, one person in your friendship group, one person in your religious community (in my case) and one person in your family (my sister obviously was this person but if you’re close with your family, it could be all of them!). It means you have kind of all your grounds covered for the highs and lows, and someone to help back and cover you.

- Get a very large drink bottle with a straw, the same, and the last thing you wanna do when you’re tired is to keep filling it up will be constantly opening a cap and plus what you get into postpartum stage, that same drink bottle will be great!

- Food wise: Get some dry snacks, ready just in the house in case the nausea starts to come on. Reframe from meal prepping or doing big grocery shops in case of aversions kick in or change. Try shop only for the next day or so, so you can adapt as needed.

It was my understanding that RSV vaccines were important to get during each pregnancy since it’s an annual season. I’m due in a month with my second and my OB said the CDC changed its guidelines to once in a lifetime….

Given the administration, I’m unsure if this is trustworthy or not. My OB was trying to be careful with her words but basically said they can’t legally give it to me bc they have record from my first pregnancy of an RSV vax. She also hinted that she didn’t love that she couldn’t give it to me…

I just don’t want my newborn to be at risk for RSV especially being born heading into sickness season.

I’ve had this name picked out for years,
And she’s known about it. She got a new dog, and gave it an entirely different name. Now, somehow, she calls her dog my baby’s name as a “nickname”. I warned her for the two years she’s had it to please stop calling the dog that because that’s going to be my baby’s name….. well, I’m pregnant. I told her we picked out a name…. We told her it’s the same name we’ve had picked out for years. She was *shocked*. She says she’ll “try to stop calling the dog that”, but as I sit here, she just called the dog my baby’s name again.

I’m sorry but this is just the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever experienced. The dog’s name is NOWHERE near my baby’s name. The dog is a girl and my baby is a boy. It could go for either gender but is waaaay more common for a boy.

I guess I’m just going to have to get used to my baby and my mom’s dog having the same fucking name.

Edit: okay then apparently I’m the problem and now I’m naming my child after her dog… even though she always knew this would be my child’s name…. And has been doing it purposefully. I guess my kid won’t be going over her house then 🤷‍♀️

I’m not going to change the name I’ve had picked out for a decade because my mom decided to steal it for a poorly behaved dog

tell me your positive vaginal birth stories. I am 37+2 days and having some fears. I thought I wanted planned C section but all the moms tell me to avoid that.. So I am trying to be brave and try a vaginal birth first.

I had my baby in April and I was supposed to have a shower at work but the timing wasn't right so it didn't work out. I was told to send my registry and I did, but nothing was ever purchased. I definitely didn't expect anything from work but it was very nice to hear that something was brewing.

When I returned, one of the managers said they collected $200 for a gift for me, and since she didn't have time to order anything, she said she could give me cash, gift card, or venmo. I said well Venmo would certainly be great, thanks! Nothing was ever sent and she brought it up the next week and I said Venmo again, and she still didn't send it.

Am I being taken for a ride here? I never expected anything from work but now that she told me, I obviously imagined that amount would go towards the high chair I've been wanting to purchase for my now 5 month old. I just feel so awkward asking for the gift now and have no idea what to do, but I could really really use that money. This lady usually falls short on promises so I'm not sure if she spent the money (since it's been so long and she thinks people forgot?) or if she's actually forgetting??

Hi all, My mum (39 years old) is currently around 9/10 weeks pregnant. Shes had me (obviously otherwise this wouldnt be getting written) and my baby sister who passed away during pregnancy at around 25 weeks.

As ive stated, she is currently pregnant. Her mormong sickness has made her be off work and unable to move. She is suffering from migraines also.

I know morning sickness is active during this time as Ive also went through it but this is worse than anything ive ever seen. shes barely eating and when she does its half a sandwich at most. Im concerned for her wellbeing but shes not listening to me to contact her GP and i think its out of fear from my sister.

What do I do.

Hello! As of tomorrow I’ll be 40 weeks. I really don’t want to be induced, but if I have to then I need to decide which date I want by this Friday. My doctor doesn’t want me to go past 41w4d, I would be okay going up to 41w6d. However, my baby is estimated to be 8 pounds 3 oz right now and I’m hoping to deliver vaginally. I know ultrasound estimates could be way off, so I’m conflicted. My options for induction are the 16th, 17th, 20th, 21st, or 22nd.

Okay so just for context my husband 24m and I 23f are not only young but extremely healthy people. I have done multiple marathons and aside from me being a runner I’ve always been extremely bradycardic. My resting heart rate before pregnancy while asleep would be 35 and if I was just sitting and working it would be around 50. The highest I’ve ever gotten my heart rate is 180 and that was full sprinting as hard as I could possibly push myself.

So now for the literal nightmare: So at my very first OB appointment I get labs done. Now I specifically asked to have an iron study done as I’ve historically have struggled with anemia. Ferritin comes back at a 4.6. Midwife tells me to just take iron supplements. Also to note at my first appointment I told the Midwife that I have hyper mobile ehlers danlos syndrome (hEDS). It’s never affected me too badly just little things like shoulders and knees occasionally dislocating. When I told her she said “what’s that?” And I explained it was a connective tissue disorder and she said “oh it’s not important”. (It was in fact very important)

I have one more appointment after the first one which was basically just a how are you feeling and 12 week scan stuff. Right around 14 weeks I start having issues with my heart racing now I chalked it up to me coming off nicotine as I quit cold turkey the second I found out I was pregnant and I’ve quit cold turkey before and had similar symptoms. At the time though I wasn’t really paying attention to that as I was struggling with severe first trimester nausea not throwing up per say but just the feeling of nausea plaguing me every second of day which I ended up losing 20lbs in my first trimester because of it.

Now my next appointment I missed which was my fault, I was just so sick I could not get myself to go. After I missed it I called my clinic explaining and they’re like okay next available appointment is 4 weeks out. So in my head I’m like oh so I’m just missing a month of prenatal care? But that was the earliest they had so I guess I just had to deal with it. The next appointment comes around and a few hours before I get a phone call from the clinic saying, “oh sorry the Midwife just isn’t coming in so we have to cancel your appointment, the next available is 3 weeks out”. Now I’m annoyed and pissed but honestly at the time I was so focused on work I was just like whatever okay fine. NEXT APPOINTMENT comes around and at this point I am 23 weeks pregnant coming in for my anatomy scan. When I check in I’m told that the Midwife isn’t here today and we’re gonna have to reschedule. So I get my scan but my husband and I weren’t told if anything was okay or any information about the baby. The get me an appointment for the next week.

This entire time from 14 weeks on my heart problems are getting worse. My heart is racing after I try to eat, it’ll start racing if I’m outside in the heat too long, and it got to the point where just trying to walk it was 170-180s and I would pass out. I FINALLY get an appointment at 24 weeks with the Midwife and I begged her to check my ferritin as I had similar cardiac problems as a teenager when my ferritin was low but it was never nearly this bad. She says, “no we don’t need to check anything yet you’re young and healthy, well do labs at your 28 week with the glucose test”.

One night at work when I was 26 weeks, I was sitting at my desk and my heart rate randomly went from 65 to 230. Thankfully as someone who used to be an emt I was able to do a valsalva maneuver on myself and get my heart rate down to the 90s. Ambulance gets there and takes me to the hospital and of course they send me to OB triage and not the ER where I have another episode but they don’t have me hooked up to a cardiac monitor. Eventually in the ER the doc tells me that “pregnancy isn’t in his wheelhouse” and can’t help me, but he gives me a referral for cardiology and checked my ferritin which is now a 3. I was hardcore failing orthostatic vitals, just trying to sit up in the bed my heart rate would skyrocket to 140, but they get me in a wheelchair and send me home.

I message the midwife and at this point I’m pissed so finally I get a referral for an iron transfusion but other than that it’s cardiology’s job to help me. I have to wait a whole week before these appointments. So I decided to stay home and thought I really just needed an iron transfusion and in a few weeks I would be strong enough to come back to work. A few days after coming home from the ER I’m sitting on the couch and my heart rate skyrockets again except this time vagal maneuvers did not work and I lost consciousness. My mil was there (thank god) and when ems got there they caught an arrhythmia. They decide to take me to a much better hospital where I get admitted. Immediately I have a whole team working on my case and they figure out I’m having atrial tachycardia and pregnancy induced POTS which is likely due to me having hEDS and my anemia was most likely exacerbating my issues. On top of this, my hemoglobin finally dropped, I’m malnourished, my potassium is low, magnesium low, calcium, vitamin D, and a slew of other stuff that’s causing problems.

They put me on metoprolol which didn’t work unfortunately and I had to take another weewoo bus back to the hospital 4 hours after discharge because of cluster svt episodes and orthostatic issues. They then put me on sotalol which thankfully does work. It’s been over a month since I left work at this point and I’ve been in and out of the hospital for pretty much the entire time.

In the hospital the OB that saw me asked where I was getting prenatal care and I tell her about the clinic and she says, “that makes sense, we’ve gotten a few of you through here”. Apparently that clinic is notorious for fucking women over with prenatal care and many staff members came by to make sure I filled a complaint against them.

I’m now 30 weeks pregnant. I’m on medical disability and will be for the entirety of my pregnancy as I am incredibly weak and still have issues with dysautonomia flares. I have appointments every week: cardiologist, electrophysiologist, mfm, high risk OB, and my pcp. The plan now is to try and get me as strong as possible before I give birth, induce me as there are concerns with me going into natural labor while being on an anti arrhythmic medication, and keep me in the hospital for at least a month until I get a cardiac ablation surgery after I I give birth.

I’m so thankful that I’m finally getting the care I need, but also I’m so pissed that this has happened to me especially knowing that things would not have gotten this bad if I was just getting proper care from the start. That my pregnancy experience will be remembered as me constantly scared that I was going to die. And if I’m being completely honest I’ve also started to find myself getting really angry and resentful when I see other pregnant women complain about literally anything. This bs I’ve been put through feels absolutely insane and unreal and I’m wondering if anyone else has had anything similar happen to them.

I’m sharing this not to scare anyone, but because I wish I had known to advocate for myself more. It has taken me a while to find the courage to come back here and share what happened.

At around 20 weeks pregnant, I developed significant upper back pain, mainly around my right shoulder blade and between my shoulder blades.
This wasn’t the usual pregnancy backache. It was completely new for me, persistent, and at times extremely painful. The pain around my right shoulder blade could feel almost like I was being stabbed. The only thing that really relieved it was lying down or sitting in certain positions.

I sought medical help more than once because I felt that something wasn’t right, but I never got a clear explanation for the pain. I felt like my concerns kept being dismissed or attributed to normal pregnancy discomfort.

At 24+6 weeks, I unexpectedly had an emergency premature delivery.

One of the things that has stayed with me is that after I gave birth, the upper back pain completely disappeared.
My placenta was later examined and found to be very small for gestational age. The pathology also showed maternal vascular malperfusion (MVM) and acute atherosis, meaning there were abnormalities affecting the maternal blood vessels and blood flow to the placenta.

I want to be very clear: I cannot say that my back pain was caused by my placental problems. I don’t know if the two were connected at all. But knowing what I know now, I wish my unexplained and persistent pain had prompted a more thorough assessment rather than simply being considered a normal pregnancy symptom.

If you develop new, severe, persistent or unusual pain during pregnancy and you genuinely feel that something isn’t right, please keep speaking up. Ask whether further assessment is appropriate.

I wish I had advocated harder for myself. I’m sharing this in the hope that my experience might help even one person feel more confident to speak up.

I (f25) am 20+6 as of today! Everything so far has been going fine with my pregnancy, I think? But I am worried about a few things.

A few months before I got pregnant, I moved across the country with my husband. When I was back home for my brother’s graduation, timing lined up for me to book my first appointment with my old OBGYN (who I loved seeing, they are super personal and take the time to actually talk to me about things and my care) for the last time. They informed me of my higher risk of preeclampsia and that I should get tested early for GD. I am over weight, I had lost a significant amount before getting pregnant, but I’m still at risk regardless.

When I returned back to my new state, I found a different doctor and haven’t really been extremely happy with them, but they also haven’t done anything wrong. They are rated well and the location is exactly where it needs to be. I just feel extremely dismissed and anytime I bring up my worries about any additional risks, they just make me feel like I am crazy.

Mentally, going from losing over a 100 pounds, to now watching my body change again has been really bad on my mental health, as much as I am trying to remember that this time it is happening for a beautiful purpose.

With all that in mind, I was REALLY looking forward to my anatomy scan (as any mom would be of course) for peace of mind. I get a call from my office the DAY before my appointment telling me they need to reschedule. I was like okay no worries, it happens.

Then they told me, their next appointment is October 2nd. A whole month away. At that point I will be a little over 25 weeks. I don’t know how true it is, but I was getting the idea online that doing the scan that late skews the results.

But again, I really needed the peace of mind. I explained that I didn’t mind the rescheduling, but October 2nd was very far away. I asked if they had any other locations, which they do, about 45 minutes from me. Which is fine!! I kept my Oct 2nd appointment just in case, but called the other location and explained.

They told me they had an appointment for Sept 11th, but they needed my referral. I had that sent over and checked with them about 2 days later, after not hearing anything even though they said they would call. Now they need my insurance referral. Okay.

So I’m here waiting, they told me they would call me Monday, both forgetting the holiday of course, so I am hoping to hear from them today. But they didn’t even take my number??? I hate to say this but the girl I talked to both times couldn’t even answer my question “will you guys give me a call or should I follow up with you?” And she goes “yes exactly” 😐

So I know I’m probably going to have to keep bothering them but it’s just so overwhelming and I feel like there should be some sort of urgency to reschedule a patient who booked nearly 2 months in advance and stay in the recommended time frame. I also don’t think that the 11th is available anymore based on the second time I talked to them.

When I followed up with my OB they asked me why they cancelled, I’m like idk??? Not to mention they gave me the wrong offices number to call from the start.

Sorry for the super long rant, I’m just really disappointed!!! :(

I am in my first trimester and my sense of smell has sky rocketed. One of my coworker is a heavy smoker, I can’t stand the smell. I didn’t want to tell my boss I am pregnant yet so I told him it is too cold and moved my desk further away. Now a new coworker has joined and sits next to me, he is also a heavy smoker.

Building is smoke free so they don’t smoke in office but the smell carries on their body & clothes.

I can’t stand the smell. It gives me a headache.

Look for suggestions on what to do.

My anosmia is present from birth and is permanent. I can't smell anything. I am pregnant, this is my first time. Please give me advices!

It’s been an incredibly hard year. I was pregnant from January to April and extremely unwell during this time - bed bound and barely able to function. We ended the pregnancy for medical reasons which was a hard choice and absolutely destroyed me, so I was really depressed for a few months after that. I got pregnant again in June and while I haven’t been as nauseous as my first pregnancy, I haven’t enjoyed being pregnant. I’m in pain, I still do feel sick, I have weekly migraines, I’ll struggling with the body changes (I also gained 6kg post last pregnancy because of stress). I told him I feel overstimulated just existing in my body right now, so I’m really struggling with affection and intimacy, even though he tries so hard to cuddle and touch. Last night he just let out an exasperated sigh and said “god you’re so depressed when you’re pregnant”. I didn’t really know what to say. I am. But that hasn’t stopped me from keeping the house together, cooking every meal for him, doing his laundry, ironing his work shirts. Like sorry I’m not waiting at the door with an ear to ear smile after the year I’ve had. I know the year has been hard for him too, but he only had to deal with the emotional aspect of it, none of the physical. And his life went back to normal. Mine didn’t - I couldn’t hold down a job, couldn’t socialise. I’m stuck between being annoyed at him that he can’t just support my mental health in the name way I want him to, but also feeling a lot of guilt and sympathy towards how he’d be feeling.
I’ve only JUST hit the second trimester so I’m hoping that things alleviate anyway.
Do your partners ever express annoyance at how you feel pregnant?

I went to ER 3 times before I got a dr to listen

First time - generally feeling unwell and off. High BP, high hear rate. They said I have a UTI.

2days later - went back, said I have back pain 8/10, they did all blood and urine samples again - said I had to wait for antibiotocs to kick in.

3rd time later on the same day and 2nd visit - I collapsed at home, severe pain, vomiting, thought I was dying or something.

Got to ER again - triage nurse was very dismissive, saying I know I have a UTI and as Im pregnant there is not much else they can give me for pain etc.

I was crying non stop at this point, went into severe body shakes/chills.

Got the most wonderful dr. He said CTs are not advised for pregnant people, but if I was his wife, he would tell her to do it..

Had sepsis, left kidney got massive stones blocking it. Was rushed into emergency surgery.

It only took that 1 doctor to take me seriously - I wish I advocated harder for myself from the start

Baby boy is doing great, and I am hopefully on the mend now.

Do not let them dismiss your symptoms as "pregnancy" symptoms if you can feel there is more to it.

Wanted to start a discussion for a resource of what are things you wish someone told you to do or you didn’t know about. An example is I don’t know when should I be using nipple cream or if I need to.

**not seeking medical advice only personal experiences** my pregnancy so far has been a roller coaster. had 3 days of bleeding starting the day I got a positive pregnancy test, ended up being caused by a subchorionic hematoma but it was a big question mark if this was viable, ectopic, whatever. went in for a viability scan at what should have been 6 weeks, confirmed intrauterine pregnancy but was measuring more like 5w4 and it was too early for a heartbeat.

went in today for what should be my first official OB appointment, should have been (based on LMP) measuring something like 8w3 but am measuring 7w3. they’re not overtly concerned since I was measuring behind at the last appointment, growth has continued on track-ish since then and the heartbeat is good. they want me in for another growth check end of next week. I’m just trying not to spiral and wondering if anyone has had a similar experience.