Cat freaks out when she sees me?

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u/dirtangeldean 6d ago

You may want to repost in r/CATHELP as they may have more insight, OP.

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u/AmbitiousYoutuber 6d ago

Thanks also did there. But here must be many cat experts as well

I just feel super sad i feel like shes not happy at my place

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u/CatAteRoger 6d ago

Set up a camera to see she is while you’re not home, you’ll see what her routine is and you can help her by sticking to it for her to be more comfortable.

My almost 3 year old orange idiot has a routine and always sleeps in the same spot for each long sleep he has at the same time each day. His meals are always served the same time , we even know when he’s going to poop😆

They are like babies in coping better with a routine.

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u/AmbitiousYoutuber 6d ago

Thanks she feels great when im not around feels like its her own home and exploring

She eats, wakes up, then claws at balcony door and explores

But if im around she hides behind washing machine or freezes. Escapes under as soon as she hears im coming home.

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u/CatAteRoger 6d ago

She’ll get past it all over time.

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u/softcactus 6d ago

Not a cat doctor but have helped some ferals get used to people. Try talking in a calm voice just as much as possible when she's around. Calmly talk before you enter a room she is in, read a book aloud or if you are listening to something, re-dictate it aloud anytime she's in hearing range. Don't raise your voice ever. Try not to make any loud or sudden noises or movements.

If possible set her up with her own room that no one goes in or is usually empty and quiet that she can retreat to, have a litterbox there and feed here there. Respect that as her space and let her warm up to you. Onboarding cats can sometimes take months.

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u/AmbitiousYoutuber 6d ago

when i accidently raised my voice she really really freaked out like in this clip since i got excited

I feel like this will take months but why is she like that when she was outdoor cat? maybe she has trauma?

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u/BizMarkieDeSade 6d ago

If she’s really feral, that reaction makes sense. Sometimes they like to retire to a nice home, but especially young adult ferals are just as likely to freak out indoors. How did she behave toward you when she was outside?

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u/AmbitiousYoutuber 6d ago

I never met her outside, just inside. But outside where she had control she was used to humans, one girl feeder but didnt interact with men. She would hang out and relax out with other cats and eat and sometimes come inside. It really broke her when she changed the place

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u/blueboxreddress 6d ago

Outdoor cats don’t trust people easily. There is a stray at my complex that I’ve been feeding for months and she just started letting me pet her. Heck even my boy cat didn’t like me at first and we slowly developed a bond. Be gentle, be patient, and let her come to you.

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u/AmbitiousYoutuber 6d ago

did i make mistake adopting her? theres other cats available but I didnt know it would be THAT slow. I genuily feel she dont realise she dont have anyone else but me.

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u/chupacabra-food 6d ago

You did not make a mistake! With love and patience she will come out of her shell. Once she warms up it will absolutely be worth it. You gave her a real home, she just needs time to adjust to it.

Here’s a Jackson Galaxy (cat trainer’s video) with some tips and tricks to try.

https://youtu.be/JZV_DSCxcOk?is=dzUtr-8C8d0V9R4e

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u/AmbitiousYoutuber 6d ago

watched this one, unfortunately im still at early steps a WHOLE month in :/ most of Jackson what i saw is like

- I removed washing machine so she cant hide there or behind the cupboard and has to be in same room

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u/Less_Button_6578 6d ago

Disagree. Adopting was a mistake. Was there any reason to trap her and keep her inside? Like, was she hurt? If so, thx for caring. If not, you subject this cat to horrible stress an fear, only for your own pleasure.

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u/krissycole87 6d ago

You will get there, and it will be worth it. Once she finally realizes she can trust you fully, she is going to be a cuddle bug.

But it will take time. Be patient with her and understand this is going to be a learning experience for you both.

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u/AmbitiousYoutuber 6d ago

If im only person in the house does it mean she will get really attached to me? Im also thinking of a secondary cat

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u/CatAteRoger 6d ago

Don’t look at getting another cat until she’s able to trust you, she may feel threatened by having another one bought into her home.

By then you’ll know if she needs the company or she can only be a solo cat.

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u/AmbitiousYoutuber 6d ago

Soudnds good ill postpone it a bit

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u/krissycole87 6d ago

Every cat has their own level of attachment. Youll have to wait and see how she behaves after she acclimates 😊

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u/AmbitiousYoutuber 6d ago

After a month like this really not sure if she will accilimate

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u/krissycole87 6d ago

My cat took about 6 months to acclimate, he was feral on the streets before that and was skiddish. But now 4 years later hes the sweetest thing and I swear he knows that I saved him. Give it time.

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u/CatAteRoger 6d ago

Maybe she’s been mistreated by a male before and that’s why she’s so wary of you. It will take gradual steps but hopefully she will settle and learn you can be trusted.

I’ve seen some great advice given in the comments, it’s going to be slow going for a bit but once she knows you’re her safe person you’ll have a snuggle bug in no time.

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u/AmbitiousYoutuber 6d ago

Do you think one bad experience could make that? It just does not feel normal like that even outdoor cat. What do you think happened to her?

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u/CatAteRoger 6d ago

Sadly one bad experience is all it can take.

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u/YagamiLxght 5d ago

Sit on the floor for hours with some snacks nearby. Place a snack far away from you, but still so that you can see the cat. You can also expand this by leaving a whole trail leading towards yourself, but with sufficient distance between you and the cat. Read a book, sit and scroll, and entertain yourself in a quiet way, and you will see that the cat comes to you on its own.

Above all, make yourself small when you want to make contact with the cat. You will notice that if you put a lot of time and patience into this, you will be best friends in no time! :)

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u/AmbitiousYoutuber 4d ago

I tried playing with her with a mouse today the toy. She watches the toy alertive under the bathroom sink but does not do anything. But soon as i close bedroom door to sleep she goes out to explore.

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u/noanoanxa 6d ago

Where did she stay when you first got her? I wonder if she is still overwhelmed and might need to go back into a smaller space and get more comfortable with that for a bit longer.

It might be a case of having to go back to the start and keeping her in a smaller room and slowly desensitising her to you being there. So sitting in the room with her (but not too close to her) for a few minutes and gradually increasing the time. And giving her treats etc so she starts to feel safe coming close to you. Also giving her a safe corner to hide in. Not 100% sure but that was my first thought

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u/AmbitiousYoutuber 6d ago

She was at a farm with other cats that had one feeder. When she was at one space she was meowing whole night. Shes adating to property faater than me. What if i do that in same room i am with her and still letting her explore at nkght?

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u/mizushimo 6d ago

If she's a feral adult it's going to take literal years for her to stop being afraid of people. the most humane thing to do would be to get her fixed and return her to the outdoor colony if she's truely feral.

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u/AmbitiousYoutuber 6d ago

Shes not truly feral as in aboiding people. She was going indoors of houses and used around one person

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u/chupacabra-food 6d ago

Think of it this way, she likely spent her entire life alone out on the street. She’s only been living inside with a person for a single month. That’s a huge change in everything for her.

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u/AmbitiousYoutuber 4d ago

I think so too. Might take months to adjust her

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u/N7_Vegeta 6d ago

Maybe put on some pants for once 🫣😉.

But serious note: no clue why she does this. Probably trust issues she will need a lot of time getting out of. Good luck!

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u/AmbitiousYoutuber 6d ago

Uh oh. How long do you think it will take? Thanks!

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u/N7_Vegeta 6d ago

Depends. We have two cats with history. Both hid and ran away a lot in the beginning (inside the house). Normal interactions (like respecting their space) feeding them without trying to pet them. Being normal people behavior in the room work great. Don’t ignore them. But don’t specifically target them wjth attention. Just be you and go on about your daily business.

If they panic just stand still and show them you are no danger by ignoring them. Not giving it attention

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u/AmbitiousYoutuber 6d ago

Thanks so much makes me calm down. How long did yours take to come to you?

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u/Aiyokusama 6d ago

What was the situation where you came to get her?

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u/ChilltheSpare 5d ago

When we took in our feral, she had a similar reaction and then hid for three months straight. Give it time, patience, and treats.

I would also suggest largely ignoring the cat (not making eye contact or trying to call them over or approach them). They will eventually settle down. Some people suggest calmly talking to the cat/out loud when in the cat’s vicinity though.

Best of luck! It’s tough, but worth it. Our feral will never be a lap cat, but we can pet her occasionally!

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u/Spiritual-Act5663 4d ago

Don’t fret their idiots, she will come round just give her a name she likes and love it’ll be okay, might take quite a while, always worth it. Wee soul is just finding her way

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u/AmbitiousYoutuber 4d ago

Alrighty so i shoudnt panic? She can be domesticated? Went around humans but is now diff when indoors