I got a DNA test and I’m shocked to find out I’m only 27% Black. I’m from the Dominican Republic and as you may know there’s a strong Black influence here. I’m light-skinned with curly hair and I don’t look black but it’s still shocking to me because I still look like a person of color.

My coworkers say I’m white passing but I honestly DON’T at all. Growing up I always felt as a person of color rather than strictly identifying with one race but I’m still in disbelief I’m only 27% Black.

Has anyone had similar experiences?

Or it a rite of passage for a mixed race kid? Is there anything that can help lessen the struggle?

Dm me if your interested in meeting up or just chatting online about our experiences. Half white half indian here.

I'll be blunt. I don't see the point in living anymore. Every day I wake up and I don't want to get out of bed because what is the point? I have been feeling this for around half a year now. I'm 17f wasian living in England, every day I constantly hear rape, misogynist, misandrist, ableist, homophobic, racist, anti jewish, white supremacy jokes or just straight up hate. I am in a friend group who likes "dark humour" which involves saying the r slur and racist and misandrist jokes. They always make comments about me eating dog/eating insects, my eyes, and call me yellow. No one says anything about it. Literally everyone either laughs along , doesn't care, or is the one making the joke. My yeargroup is the most hate filled group of people I have come across, it's a majority boys, who always say demeaning stuff about women and say they're going to rape their friends or their younger siblings. The teachers don't care either, once someone said the c slur and my maths teacher looked up and just went back to her work. It's constant everyday stuff, I cannot have a convo with someone without them slipping in some discriminatory shit about a group, it's not that deep bro, like find something else to do with your life.

I'm also masking alot, like I have to be polite and nice to my "friends" and whichever person decides to talk to me. It's very draining because I don't like pretending all the time, a little bit is fine, it's gotten to the point I can't even have a genuine connection with ANYONE and I feel so alone because I have to put walls up against everyone just because they can't understand basic empathy. I have lost motivation for studying, and that's another thing, a lot of my friends don't like me because I have better grades than them. It's my final year at school and I really want to get back on track but I just feel really lost. I can't talk to my teachers because I know they won't understand, a lot of them probably make those jokes themselves. I might look into finding somewhere to be alone at breaktimes to recharge but this school is so small there's really nowhere to go.I can't challenge them either because they know personal shit about me. It's genuinely annoying because most of them are supposed to be religious and how is making fun of my eyes christianlike or muslimlike?

I'd appreciate some support, could people not tell me to "get over it" because it's not that easy and it's just going to make me feel worse, I've also had enough with this "brutal honesty" thing, every time I have a problem I get this, it doesn't solve anything with me. And please don't say "oh it's just jokes" because sometimes jokes actually hurt. It's unecessary.

Every time i'm on Twitter and Threads or any social media, those apps can't help but to show how much people really don't fuck with mixed race people nowadays. And you can't really defend mixed race people without someone saying that others have it worse.

I feel like it's becoming more and more common to shit on mixed people and say their experiences aren't valid. But mixed people DO go through racism, they DO go through erasure and Black presenting mixed people often face both.

So, I wanted to ask the community to share your experiences with racism that you're comfortable sharing. You can be any race, any ethnicity and present phenotypically in any way. But please, do not use this post to promote hate towards each other or mono racial people.

my mom and I need a family therapist to help with processing so big family trauma. I’ve tried this with a white therapist who supposeö was ’highly qualified’ in racial trauma and she didn’t eve understand our issues. she kept on trying to divorce our family history from the racial aspect.
basically my moms dad was indig and died young in the USA pre civil rights. hid death was wrongful. ’discrimination’ if you need the most sanitized term. this caused problems in my family tremendous unspeakable trauma every time my grandfathers birthday or death day came around.. it was a very big deal. lots of other things but my mom married a man who fetishized her and me and my father used her trauma her fear to prevent her from leaving. It’s gone now. Grandfathers family and my dad even. But the traumas still there

when we try to talk to standard trauma therapists usually white they try to pull apart the abuse from the larger context but they can’t be separated and I’m mostly just interested if others who have had similar backgrounds have found therapists that could hold this and what you looked for?

Growing up I was taught 0 languages outside of English, and I live in South Africa where there are 11 different languages. So to put it into perspective you usually have your base language (English for most), your tribe language (blood relation), and your localized language (the language most ppl in your area speak), not to mention the language we learn in school (Afrikaans). On average most South Africans know 3 or 4 languages.

I'm not interested in speaking any South African language (for many reasons), nor was I ever taught. I'm also Kenyan where you have your Swahili (standard language) and your tribe language aswell. Wasn't taught that either.

Comparatively I'm Italian and Portuguese as well, wasn't taught those either, but I tried to learn it myself and enjoyed it alot, I can speak pretty well in both now, and it helps because they're a bit similar. And they are just alot easier to learn if you only know English.

But deep down it feels like a half done job, and I get comments like "so your not really black than" yknow the usual slander. But the African languages are just too difficult to learn alone, and their are too many to learn, and they don't even benefit me that much either, because almost every Kenyan or South African can speak English very well. To top it off my South African tribe is probably the rarest one you can get, so when am I ever going to speak that irl?

1 of them blocked me, the other 2 I can find I didn't try to msg, but 1 would steal from my mom in uni, the other seems ok, should I msg just her? She isn't as active online as the other one though, and the other works in the same field as me. I never met my relatives on either side. My dad's brother seemed kinda interested but slow replies then ghosted me. I wasn't taught Arabic either, never been to my mom's country :(

So I wanted to read some post from this wonderfull community(mixed race) and when I search for mixed race the search show me transcial. What the hell is that shit? Does anyone know anything about that? It's like trying to being racist and transphobic at the same time, please someone explain I can't understand

it’s felt like ever since I was a child, I’ve always had this very intense feeling of dysphoria around my racial identity. When I was younger, I was so terrified of looking brown due to the social consequences of it so I would do things such as straighten my hair or lighten my skin. some of the things that I did were permanently damaging, and I can’t really go back to how I actually SHOULD look. I feel so horrible for wanting to look more brown because feels like I’m a white person invading a space that doesn’t belong to me, but whenever I’m near white people, they make it very clear that I will never be a part of community. The amount of times that I’ve been compared to a terrorist, or 9/11 jokes would be made me really realize that truly i just dont belong at all. anytime I try to find statements similar to this. It’s always talking about people who self identify as transracial and I feel like a bad person for comparing my experience to that, I mean ive been told that its immoral. Am I immora? has anyone else experienced some of these emotions? I hate being mixed and I wish I didnt ruin myself for people who hate me. i dont know, just curious to see if this is a unique experience. thanks

hi, i am seriously confused. when i look in the mirror i see an pakistani, a south asian women. even though i am half white from my dad. my dad is muslim and left when i was 7 and i didnt see him much when he was around. i was raised by my mum in a pakistani muslim community in an urban town.

i met this pakistani girl on bumble and she keeps on saying that i am an english gora in front of other asians that we meet. when she talks to me she has said 'i am a muslim' even though she knows i am muslim and i have a muslim name..

what is going on? what does she mean? is the truth that being half white means i will never be accepted?

I’m half b/w and I hate how people only see the fact that I am half black but never see the fact that I am half white. POC will start shitting about white people to me as if I’m not half white, then I get offended and tell them by being racist to white people they are being racist to me. They then say how I’m not even white so it doesn’t matter, but I am as white as I am black so yes it does matter. You can’t just erase half of my heritage just because I don’t look like I’m white.

No one ever shits about black people to me because they think I am at least part black by just looking at my phenotype.

You shouldn’t talk bad about any race regardless of if you think the person is part of it. However, it infuriates me how not looking like a certain race even though you are part of it, will make people think you accept badmouthing them.

I don’t want anyone telling me that it’s okay or that it’s a made up concept because to me it’s the whole world I hate myself I hate how I look I cry anytime anyone takes a picture of me I can’t stand my hair I’m at the point where I buzz it to look normal i need a nose job to not look this ugly I feel like a mutt and being real who wants a mutt I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t want a relationship or a family to not end up ruining my kids lives I love them so much that I will not ruin their lives by giving them existence I allow every one to treat me like shit because I’m not equal to people who aren’t mixed in my mind I literally pick at my skin because I hate how it looks I hate everything about myself and I don’t think theirs anything that will ever change my mind

I feel like it would be so fun, but I have very "belonging-nowhere" features. It's not that they're particularly distinctive or anything, but the combination is quite unique to wasians and a subset of SE Asian wasians at that.

I don't really have super big feelings for this post; I just want to look like I belong somewhere or look like somebody sometimes lol

I hate when people say this. Maybe I'm just overreacting but this seems so dehumanizing 🫩🫩 like I'm not some creature why are you asking me "what" I am.
I am a human?? Like you could've just asked " hey what is your ethnicity?" tbh even if people only ask me this question I get annoyed but that's just me.

I don’t know who else to go to. I’ve been going through a crisis. I (27m) am black on my dad’s side and white on my mom’s. My parents split when I was 8, my Dad was decently present in my life then I stopped hearing from him at 16. My mother died right after my 18th birthday, I had already been moved out for a week and just threw myself into work to deal with grief, but I’m not gonna bore you with those details. The point is I moved forward relying on myself. I met my now wife (she is white, will be important) and just kept living.

Around 23 my Dad reached out and asked to reconnect. When we spoke I found out he didn’t even know my mom had passed. We started reconnecting over the past few years but that’s kind of where the problem comes from. My dad was on the outside of law to say the least. He has it in his head that if you don’t do something outside of the law you’re a bitch. Our first few times we talked he kept talking about how my uncle listens to his wife and is whipped and a punk. We went out to drink and when he saw how much I could drink, he said I knew you had something from me and was so relieved. He was at my wedding, we had a great moment there, but when I go see him he tells me that all men are supposed to cheat and that I should keep a secret bank account for if the marriage doesn’t work. Plus he keeps bringing up how he takes care of my grandma and heavily implying how I will take care of him too, which is hard for me to accept with how much time I spent alone.

I love my Dad and I have no doubt that he loves me. He is frustrated that we still are so distant and he keeps asking me if I’m ashamed of my black side. I don’t know how to feel about it. If my dad was an honest guy, a man I could look up to I would genuinely be proud of him. Because are ideologies weren’t so opposed I wouldn’t feel ashamed. I can’t even talk to my wife about this because once she here’s about the cheating and bank account bullshit he’s spouting she’ll want me to cut him out. We’ve argued about it and I was honest. He said he would stop encouraging that stuff, but he treats like a father knows best moment or like a “you’ll see I’m right” type of thing. I can tell he’s disappointed about who I am and it burns me.

I don’t know what to do, he’s my only connection to my black side. My wife is white and my kids will be basically white as well, it won’t change how much I love them but sometimes I feel like I am washing myself out. I feel like giving up on him is giving up my culture but every time I see him I get a little more fucked in the head. I don’t want a broken home and that is the only place his advice leads to. How do I honor my black side?

If you read all of this, thank you. I really need advice on this.

Hi

Since 2020, my mums ignorance around race and my experience as a black mixed race woman has become impossible to ignore.

She is consistently dismissive if I ever mention my experiences with racism and it seems she has been doing that to my Jamaican Dad all his life too.

I have already asked her to do the work, I have recommended books, podcasts etc and even sent her a course especially for white people to unlearn white supremacy. She doesn't really think she has anything to learn.

She genuinely seems to think that marrying a black man 40 years ago and having 2 brown children is her anti-racism work done. She also likes to talk about how she's "experienced racism too" just by being in proximity to us. Cry me a river.

Anyway, in a last ditch attempt I thought I might actually send her a book for her birthday (it's coming up). Maybe I could also read the same book.

Any recommendations??

Preferably not US-focused! Although I think we face many of the same issues in UK, I feel that if it's too US-centred that will make her switch off because she probably thinks racism is worse there. Would be great if one actually had UK examples relating to people enslaved in​ the Caribbean, arriving on Windrush etc.

Grateful for any suggestions! 🙏🏾

I am mixed Latina with light skin. I wear hoops everyday because they remind me of my tias and make me feel good and strong and proud of where I’m from. When my dad died I got a tattoo in his handwriting that says “mija”, because like a lot of Latino dads that’s how he always referred to me. today two people sat behind me in class and pretty clearly make comments to one another about how those things aren’t “for me” and how gross it was. In a way I get it - white people have historically stolen pieces of others’ cultures while simultaneously causing violence toward them for being of that culture. But I don’t want to pretend to be a mono-racial person because I’m not, and to do so feels like giving into white supremacy. Is the answer to get some thicker skin and suck it up? Lol

We are heading into the weekend, what plans do you have?

This is for discussion on general topics and doesn't have to be related to mixed race ones.

I often encourage people to play their mixed card and take advantage of being not only multiracial but multicultural as well. We can't help how we are born, but we can play the hand we've been dealt and make the best out of our situations. (@itsoktobemixed)

I just wanna say I’ve handed in my notice. But it’s really sitting with me.. I’ve been called racially ambiguous (white/black) and I know the person who said it ISNT racist.. but the longer I sit with it the deeper I take it.

Not only was it demeaning cos I told them to calm down after yelling at me all day.. but even when they apologised they acknowledged that it had “Connotations” they didn’t intend. My dad was fuming as a black man hearing this and my mom took it even worse cos they saw the undertones to it.

On m’a dit que la couleur de peau et le type de cheveux qu’ils ont bébé peuvent pas mal changer en grandissant.
Pour ceux qui ont des enfants plus grands, ça a beaucoup évolué chez vous ? Et est-ce qu’il y avait des petits “indices” quand ils étaient bébés qui vous ont permis de deviner leur futur teint ou leur type de cheveux ?
Je trouve ça trop intéressant de voir à quel point ça peut évoluer selon les enfants !