During Shilpa’s time in the Big Brother house she was referred to as “the Indian”, “Shilpa papadam”, “dog” and several housemates made up a rhyme using the word “Paki” in a conversation about her.

She was also told to “fuck off home” and to “go back to the slums”.

They also claimed the reason why Indians are skinny was because their food was unhygienic which made them sick all the time.

Shilpa Shetty later forgave Jade, the contestant that was the main antagonist who later died of cancer.

I myself am an Australian of Indian origin who has never lived in India. Was born in Singapore and have been in Australia since the age of 12, now well settled and am a naturalised citizen.

While I was never born or have lived in India. I have had the privilege of visiting it several times for the purposes of visiting the grandparents, cousins and extended family. I've always had a love/hate relationship with the place. I love how old and ancient the culture, customs, religions and spirituality is but at the same time hate how backwards the mentality of some of the people there are with regards to caste hierarchy, gender equality and just the general lack of cleanliness and so much visible rubbish compared to what I was used to growing up in Singapore and Australia.

However since I have visited India several times I have grown to appreciate my roots much more than earlier. I would generally just visit where my family lived around Mumbai, Pune and Bangalore down South. But I have travelled the country more in recent years visiting places like Delhi, Agra, Jaipur, Kerala, Kolkata and Goa. I obviously enjoyed some areas a lot more than others but it made me appreciate how diverse, unique and beautiful India is as a country despite its obvious glaring issues. But I've learned to look past them and it's made me feel less ashamed of my heritage in the face of growing Anti Indian/South Asian racism especially in the West. It's not like they don't have any similar issues either 🤪. Planning to visit some of the neighbouring countries now too, especially Nepal and Sri Lanka 👍.

So to any other ABCDesis born and raised abroad but have had the privilege of visiting the country of their parents/grandparents in the subcontinent at least once. What was your travel experience like? What was the reason for your visit? Did you enjoy your experience? Would you go back in the future? Would love to hear your thoughts.

I’m a Pakistani American woman (born in the states) and I am in college. I have never, NEVER experienced so much racial discomfort on a daily basis as I do in the past few months.

I even grew up in a predominantly white town: back then I would get mean stares, comments about my appearance/skin tone, or people just asking “What are you?” but never targeted racial discrimination because people likely couldn’t even tell if I was Arab or Desi or Hispanic.

Back then I was just read as an outsider for being non-white; now that Desis are so prominent in media and more recent immigrants have come, people are quick to assume I’m “Indian” and actively insult parts of my culture and identity.

A new school year just started at my university (and I go to school in a VERY liberal state with a diverse campus) and I have felt racial discomfort daily. I met a few girls of Hispanic descent the other day in class and we were casually chatting until they made a comment that I “don’t even smell bad” or something that took me aback. Similarly, I had the White worker at a food spot on campus (probably a student himself) ask what I wanted to order in what I assume was a mocking Desi accent — he had a shitty smirk on his face until I responded sternly in my American accent. Small encounters like this happen daily. I had packed a few rotis (just the rotis, nothing else as I didn’t want to bother people with any food odors) for myself and pulled them out during a class, and had the guy next to me immediately point it out to our whole table with something like “roti is like Indian tortillas” — a ‘joke.’

Then I call my parents or other family to rant about experiences like these, and they try to convince me it’s a ‘compliment’ and that people don’t know better. I don’t know what it is with Pakistani elders and defending anybody other than you lol, but they essentially remove all blame from people who make these comments and try to convince me that I’M the issue for dwelling on these moments.

I know it’s not the worst thing in the world to face these things, and I’m not claiming it’s a huge deal before the “it’s not that serious” crew comes along. But it’s tiring to be 20 years old and feel othered every day in a country that’s supposed to be a cultural melting pot. If it’s going to be this draining to exist as a Pakistani person in the US, I truly wish I could just move to all Desi society or something 😭

My parents are getting older, and whenever we talk, the conversation almost always drifts to our old family house back in India. It’s the place where my grandparents lived and where my parents grew up, so naturally, there’s an intense emotional attachment to it. But the reality is that nobody lives there permanently anymore. Managing repairs, property taxes, and dealing with caretakers or distant relatives from thousands of miles away has become this constant, quiet source of stress for my parents.

On one hand, selling it feels like cutting the last physical tie to our roots. On the other hand, leaving it vacant or relying on distant relatives/caretakers to manage it usually leads to unnecessary stress and conflicts.

It’s just such a strange cultural middle ground to be in—trying to respect our parents’ deep nostalgic connection while facing the practical reality that life moves on. I'd love to hear how other families here are processing this kind of situation or balancing those heavy emotions with practicality.

I grew up in Myanmar. I'm not saying Southeast or East Asians are all racist and I'm aware of the racism yellow/mongoloid people face in South Asia. Living in this country have tainted my mental health a bit considering I'm also trans male. I can't wait to get out of here. I'm not using this post to dismiss the racism mongoloid/yellow people face in non-mongoloid/yellow countries.

I noticed that they tend to be racist against South Asians behind your back or when they believe they are in a group with only yellow/mongoloid people and no South Asians, but when a South asian is in the friend group, they're silent. I noticed it with one monoracial South Asian classmate I know. When he's sitting near the other boys, they treat him as if he's their equal, but when these same boys are at their school bus, they make racist jokes and speak in mock Hindi/Tamil. The times I faced racism which I remember are:

• people often asking me why my skin is light because they don't think a South Asian can have light skin.
• I told a group of passerby Koreaboo girls who were saying that Burmese men are bad and Korean men are better that Korean men are also humans as well and that good Burmese men exist, and they replied, "How cares? Who likes an Indian man (they used a slur) anyways. They're all ugly".
• one dark skinned Burmese guy looked at me in a stink face without saying anything when he saw me while talking to my friend whom I'm beside with.
• incels talking about how South Asian men are taking their women. From where I come from and what I've noticed in Southeast Asia, South Asian men are kinda talked like they're the equivalent of black men dating white women in the West among incels. Hell, they talk about how exotic South Asian women are but most of them complain about how South Asian men are taking their women and how they're all sex addicted.
• bus drivers making jokes about South Asians but not in our face after seeing me and dad in the front seat It's like as if they only say it straight to your face when you're alone and they're in a group, but when they're alone, they're scared.
• people explaining to me why calling you a slur isnt racist. for eg. saying things like, "you're a p4j33t/k-word so I'll call you a p4j33t/k-word what's wrong with that, aren't you a p4j33t/k-word? are you saying you're actually Burmese? We call Chinese people "တရုတ်" so why is calling you guys k-word bad?" wdym, its like saying its ok to call the n-word because we call Germans Germans instead of Deutsche.

Hi everyone.

One year ago, I came here asking for help for my cousin Manny. He was only 32, newly married, and fighting Stage 4 kidney cancer that had spread to his lungs and brain.

So many of you came forward. You donated, shared his story, and prayed for him. I will never forget that kindness.

Over the past year, my family has done everything we possibly could to keep Manny’s treatment going. My parents, aunts, uncles, myself, and other family members have all contributed to his treatment, radiation therapy, scans, medications, and the costs of managing his side effects.

And now, after everything we’ve been through, we finally have some incredibly good news. ❤️

Manny’s treatment is responding very well. His latest scans showed further improvement, with no new metabolically active disease elsewhere in his body.

His radiation therapy has now stopped, and his oncologist has advised him to continue immunotherapy for another six months. The estimated cost is around $10,500 USD.

But after a year of doing everything we can ourselves, our family has exhausted what we can contribute.

And this is what hurts the most:
Manny finally has a treatment that is working so well, and we are struggling to afford the treatment that is helping him.

We don’t want money to stand in the way of continuing something that is giving him this much hope.

So I’m humbly coming back to this community and asking for help again.

We no longer need the $70,000 we originally feared we would need. We are simply trying to raise around $10,500 to help Manny continue his treatment for the next six months.

Please, if this touches your heart, help us keep his treatment going. Even $5, or a share could make a difference in helping us keep his treatment going.

And please, above all, keep Manny in your prayers.
Thank you to everyone who stood by him last year. And thank you to anyone willing to stand by him again.

Original post from last year: Link to old post

GoFundMe:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-manny-fight-stage-4-cancer

I'm half Desi and Austronesian, both having pretty conflicting features. My Desi dad has sharper features, is tall, and has thicker hair density and dark skin. My Austronesian mother is much softer, with higher cheekbones, is short, and has lighter skin. I'm a mix of both (except for height; I'm 6'4 lmao) and get mistaken for a lot of different races depending on the environment. In Southeast Asia (where my parents are from) I'm normally assumed to be desi because of the height and skin, but my facial features throw people off. I was constantly mistaken for Yemeni in my old office where we had a lot of people from the Middle East. In America, I was yelled at by the taco truck stand for not knowing Spanish as a "Mexican person" lmao. I also get mistaken for Filipino, Black, Indigenous, etc. Was wondering what other mixed-race Desis get mistaken for.

The same respect they would give a hand surgeon (MD/DO).

Been applying to a ton of jobs with little luck and I'm sure my ethnic name doesn't help. Mind you I tailor my resume and cover letter and do all that jazz.

Even though my first name is not overly ethnic I have a very generic surname and I'm wondering whether employers assume I'm a fob from back home who spam applies for jobs in my country as soon as they see my surname (Singh 🫩😵‍💫)

I'm torn bc on one hand I don't want to change who I am but in this job market you gotta to do what you have to do.

Many undereducated people will believe that all Hindu temples are RSS sights and potentially target them. I think targeting the RSS is a mistake.

During its founding, the RSS opposed Muslims and made many offensive and exclusive statements, claiming they’re only for Hindus. However, now the RSS believes that Hindu is a cultural and national identity (in addition to religious), and that all Indians are inherently Hindu. The RSS has allowed Muslims to join since the 1970s, when they all opposed emergency. There is even a Muslim Wing of the RSS. Claiming RSS is anti Muslim is just like claiming America is pro slavery or pro segregation.

Looking forward, I think RSS should ally with the largest Islamic organization in the world, Nahdlatul Ulama, and show that their visions are similar in many areas.

What should a first timer do/see while in London!

I’ll be doing a solo trip so probs will only stay in London area but would love recommendations, safety tips, best places to shop (should I check out south hall?)!!

TIA!!

I just learned that dreadlocks are common among Sadhus and that they heavily inspired Rastafarian culture, particularly through the influence of Indian indentured labourers in Jamaica.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t Shiva himself have dreadlocks? And if so, wouldn’t that make dreadlocks, at least historically and spiritually, part of Hindu tradition?

That brings me to my question..

Why aren’t dreadlocks more common among Indians especially in Indians today? Given their historical and religious associations, shouldn’t this hairstyle be more socially accepted within Indian society?

I think culturally we all know on average white people expect their children to contribute a lot more to the household if they’re living at home, i’ve seen it so often esp on reddit that you’re kind of expected to at least pay rent/groceries if you’re above a certain age and still living with parents.

As it’s more common culturally to stay at home with parents as south asians even as adults, i was wondering if any of u have faced the same expectations? Or does the dynamic not change as much?

asking as a 20 year old who has recently had to take another unplanned gap year so i’m living at home again, i feel like i should be doing more than just chores but idk if it’s expected of me or normal 😭 i don’t want to feel like a bum. i’m probably going to work full time and be fully responsible for all my costs which i can’t rn because i have no income.

Subu Vedam was born to a Penn State professor and his wife and brought to the US when he was 9 months old. He spent 43 years wrongfully incarcerated, from age 20 to 63, the longest in Pennsylvania

My mum really wants me to settle down and find a partner, like yesterday. I'm in my mid thirties (f) and most my friends are married, a few with kids.

I get it, I'm at that age but I've had relationships and none of them have worked out clearly. The last one kind of broke me and I can't bring myself to date again.

And all I get is the guilt trip - how Im making her miserable and sick because of my unwillingness to date. I get that I'm of the age but mentally I'm just about managing and I don't really think it should be an expectation that we all just get married and have kids.

What if I don't want to ? Apparently then my parents will just die of grief. So that's fun to deal with

Any advice ???