Experience coming out on the internet?

[u/Imaginary_Mind2]

What has been your experience coming out as intersex on the internet?

Frankly, I'm a little too clockable lately for me to keep denying it. Even if intersex is not the word you would use, you can just tell. What's the harm in coming out as intersex? I'm already getting inappropriate questions about my body (are you trans, what do you have down there, etc. i got one that was just, "full bush?" lmao)

So I was just wondering, is it any different than being visibly gender non-conforming on the internet? Better, or worse? What do you guys think?

[u/A_Miss_Amiss]

Roughly speaking:

25% dyadic trans folks trying to shout over me / hijack the topic to make it all about themselves*, 25% intersex-deniers OR pro-IGM folks, 25% fetishists, and 25% genuinely curious people (or other intersex folks chiming in).

*Obligatory disclaimer because this is Reddit, and literacy comprehension and critical thinking is in the toilet: this isn't to erase intersex folks who are also trans. Nor is it to detract from dyadic trans' folks struggles with human rights issues, but it gets wearisome when I'm always minimalized or erased as just a background prop as the topic is immediately shifted almost every. Single. Time.

[u/peppercornpeppercorn → u/A_Miss_Amiss]

I've had a lot of issues with dyadic transpeople too. In my experience with the people I've met, the only thing they can think about is gender, anything about physical sex gets pushed back as seemingly irrelevant and the topic goes back to gender. There was a lot of reasons why I found the community alienating and exhausting, but the biggest one was definitely that I kept being told that my physical experiences were irrelevant and my issue was actually gender (it's clearly not.)

[u/The7Sides]

Probably worse. You get the fetish questions too (ie, "omg does that mean you have both a penis and vagina?" "are you like a (insert intersex slur here)", etc. Even the Queer community has a massive intersexism problem and I recently made the decision to leave the queer community as a whole and only go by Intersex and otherwise Unlabelled for a lot of reasons I won't get into here.

I typically just go for the "Mind your damn business and stop commenting on people's bodies" route.

[u/Imaginary_Mind2 → u/The7Sides]

I feel like I am already getting questions up to that level, so that does put it into perspective for me personally. Thanks so much

[u/Immediate_Street_325]

I try to educate people if they have questions.

[u/Imaginary_Mind2 → u/Immediate_Street_325]

Me too, and I think letting people know when it's time to mind their own business counts as educating them XD

[u/Immediate_Street_325 → u/Imaginary_Mind2]

That's valid lol

[u/MoonUnitMunster → u/Immediate_Street_325]

me too, but we all have our limits as to how much we can do. Self care is important, so don’t take on too much all at once.

[u/CoolWrapT]

a lot of people dont know what intersex is. I will answers when I can within reason.

[u/Kind_Band1071]

La verdad creo que lo mejor es solo contarlo a la gente de mucha confianza y que sabes que no va estar haciéndote sentir avergonzad@ o incomod@, yo tengo muchas experiencias negativas con eso xD, desde que me digan "futanari" hasta tocamiento indebido, así que tal vez es peor, pero esa es solo mi experiencia.

[u/Imaginary_Mind2 → u/Kind_Band1071]

Ah, unfortunately I am already dealing with that to the utmost degree. I think I already know what I want the answer to be, I just wanted to ask to get more information. I told one of my friends this morning and it went very well :) I have to be brave, even if it isn't perfect.

[u/Accurate_Arugula_889]

I put intersex on a couple of my profiles and if people were already aware of the existence of intersex people then they usually assumed I was an effiminate dick girl.

[u/Imaginary_Mind2 → u/Accurate_Arugula_889]

yeah what's up with that ????

[u/Accurate_Arugula_889 → u/Imaginary_Mind2]

I think it's cause of porn and a lack of interactions with intersex people