Hiiiiii!!! I’ve been building Ludus Guide, a little directory for inclusive, creative and community-led events and spaces across the UK 💜

Think queer markets, alternative nights, workshops, socials, wellbeing events, kink-friendly spaces, and the smaller community gems that often deserve more visibility.
It’s still early days, so I’d love your help.

If you know of any events, organisers, safer spaces or community projects that should be listed, please send them my way.

Would really appreciate any feedback or suggestions xx

www.ludusguide.com

I’m an adult with epispadias and I’ve always felt really out of place about it. Is it considered part of the intersex community, or is it something else entirely?

Does anybody else here who takes oestrogen get nausea after they’ve just taken it? I started it last week and last night I woke up sweating and throwing up, but after I finished I felt fine. I feel fine now after taking another pill, but a little bit dizzy. Is this normal?

Most places I still get judged, I've been suicidal because of SA and rape and abuse. I'm losing my mind, I feel like I have no safe spaces ANYWHERE I GO!!!

I'm pretty sure I have vulva hypospadias and I'm wondering if it causes pain with tampons, disc's and cups? I have never been able to use other menstrual items besides pads because they cause pain when inserting them in and when they are in I'm so uncomfortable.

I just wanted to know if the two is related or not.

I’m sort of just wondering how many people share this experience since I often feel kind of alone in it. My gender is fluid over long periods of time (I usually feel more connected with one gender for multiple months, and then it will switch to something else), and I’ve been struggling with the fact that whether I’m feeling more like a man or a woman, I still feel dysphoric about my body. I recently went from six plus months of being a man to feeling like a woman again, and now I’m just swapping out binding as gender affirming behavior for shaving my face daily. I also sit in a weird place where I tend to get voice dysphoria and bottom dysphoria no matter what my gender is. I don’t think I’d be able to transition one way or the other either, since inevitably I’d end up experiencing gender differently in the future and the transition would become more distressing than the previous dysphoria was. I find it really difficult to deal with and I’m just hoping I’m not the only one who knows what this feels like.

it's quite information dense but i tried to make the DPI high enough to see the details, it's part of a two-part graphic i'm making about sex and gender in general! the graphic is best viewed as a collection of smaller graphics, combined into one - each section serves as its own little explainer. i'm mainly looking for any input about the factual accuracy and terms used, from intersex people themselves.

edit: also, i am aware some parts need to be tweaked for colourblind accesibility, and obviously pink/blue gendered colour coding is stereotypical, but it's mostly for visual clarity. and as stated above, i'm planning on exporting different sections as their own explainers, so obviously font size wise it is currently not accesible as one large graphic (e.g. people with dyslexia or sight issues).

edit 2: despite my best efforts compression has made some of the text hard to read. :( hopefully you get the jist!

Ughhh dialators are sooo annoying! 2 weeks of no dilataors ruin any progress, also HOW DO I GET MORE DEPTH?!?? Or is this not possible?

Im maybe 1 pointer finger length deep. F22, UK based, do i have any options? Would i need surgery?

Hey folk! I have officially moved for school (exciting! but stressful) and I have been fortunate enough that a friend here has looped me into the local queer scene.

Anyways this will be a long rambling post.

But I am finding myself anxious. Not only is it hard to get used to a new queer scene, I also do not know much about attitudes towards disabled, trans, or intersex community members here. But I have realized I am especially anxious around being intersex in a new country and culture.

Last night I was invited to a lesbian event at a lesbian bar. I am not a lesbian, so I did not want to go. After expressing this I was assured this was okay despite my concerns about intruding in lesbian spaces. But then I found out it was a green light red light event! I did not end up going.

For those that are unfamiliar, this is basically an event where you display your dating availability/status on a bracelet or by your cup. Green means available, yellow means polyamorous, and red means taken/unavailable. (Not so colorblind friendly).

Not only am I double demi (demisexual and demiromantic) and not a lesbian, I realized that I don't want to explain to anyone that I am intersex? Especially not my first week here. I usually disclose this to people who flirt with me because I do not want to waste my own time or theirs and because I like to make sure they are a safe person (I disclose in public spaces or over text - never in a private place with them). Back home I am open about it because I used to work in education and use myself basically as an educational opportunity. But I feel completely out of my wheelhouse and the idea of explaining that I am inter in a new country to community members from a scene I am unfamiliar with just feels super scary. Like, full blown anxiety attack trying to decide how best to politely turn down the offer.

Like I know I don't have to disclose, but it also makes me anxious to wait and do it later into a possible relationship due to worries about hostile reactions.

I didn't realize I was going to be this anxious, at all.

It's like this horrible heaviness sitting in my chest. I literally wear an intersex patch so it's not like it's a closely guarded secret, but I've been stressing about "what if someone finds out???". Is this just the "I just got here oh man oh god ahhhhh" brain? What on earth!

Anyways, I stayed home and called the bank, worked on my VISA account, and read from my books. I worked on homework for next week (class starts next week) and emailed my professor about broken links and backup links for the readings. And realized I am somehow not on my course's Canvas? Didn't know we had one until they responded to my email. Rip.

Tonight I am staying home again - it's beautiful, cloudy, and raining out! Perfect reading weather. My favorite and very cozy.

But yea. I feel weird about being anxious. I wasn't expecting it.

Anyways! I hope y'all are doing as okay as you can with how hectic the world is right now. Wishing you the best, and hugs if you're open to/want them. <3

Marked nsfw for talk of anatomical traits, nothing graphic.

I (25 y/o) started seeing an obgyn last year. At the time, I did not know I was intersex despite obvious genital ambiguity because I was not taught about my body growing up. Now I know that I am, but I still need a diagnosis. This obgyn has been very dismissive of my intersex traits, and tells me they are all normal.

I asked for an external exam because I found out I have significant clitoromegaly. She told me everything was normal and that it wasn't big. This is not true. I ended up having to really push to get her to acknowledge my clitoromegaly as real.

Then, I asked why my urethra was so low, as it is so low that it touches the top of my vagina (which is also very low, and small. It is only about 1.5cm tall.) She told me it was normal, and that some people even have their urethra inside the vagina, and that this clinically insignificant, not worth documenting, and not related to being intersex at all. The same things she said about my clitoromegaly.

Then, I got a pap smear done by her, and it had to be under anesthesia because I experience such extreme pain with trying to insert anything into the vagina, and I've never been able to get even a pinky finger in there. She told me needing anesthesia was normal. After the pap smear, I had intense pain that got progressively worse for 2 weeks, to the point where I struggled to walk and function. She told me this was also normal, and that it required no medical investigation.

My endocrinologist takes me seriously and tells me I have high testosterone, clitoromegaly, vaginal hypospadias, and likely also vaginal hypoplasia. She says I would benefit from testing for intersex variations, and is helping me get set up to see a geneticist who can do so for me. But my obgyn keeps telling me I am completely dyadic and have nothing suggesting I am intersex.

Is this common? Is this negligence or malpractice? I am confused and frustrated.

What has been your experience coming out as intersex on the internet?

Frankly, I'm a little too clockable lately for me to keep denying it. Even if intersex is not the word you would use, you can just tell. What's the harm in coming out as intersex? I'm already getting inappropriate questions about my body (are you trans, what do you have down there, etc. i got one that was just, "full bush?" lmao)

So I was just wondering, is it any different than being visibly gender non-conforming on the internet? Better, or worse? What do you guys think?

I had to have 8 vials taken today for my lab testing, (endo ordered the wrong acth test but that's another whole problem lol.)

Afterwards I became dizzy / clammy as expected obviously, however then I got abdominal cramps that hurt worse than passing a kidney stone. Like rolling around hitting myself and gasping and almost diarrhea'ing in my pants, and I have a very high pain tolerance. When I got home I threw up 6 times and did have the diarrhea simultaneously + a small amount of cycle blood.

I have had this happen other mornings when forcing myself to do physical labor in the early AMs, and even passed out multiple times through the years, but never for a blood draw. (Though I've never had more than 1 vial taken before.)

I'm trying to get an idea if this is specifically related to extreme changes in my blood pressure (with the arm band as I had a similar reaction during IV catheterization), the presumably lack of cortisol, or/and dehydration. I will question with my endo too next time I see her, but I am curious if anybody else here has had this issue too.

Marked as NSFW just in case!

I am finding I have way more intersex traits then I thought.. My urethra is not where it's supposed to be and it kinda makes sense? But I guess I thought maybe the charts on Google were overexaggerated so you could see what's going on, but no.. Looking at real (not charts/drawings) vulvas, I'm realising mine does not look like a perisex person's does.. 😭 and idk why my gynocologists has never mentioned anything to me?? Especially my urogynocologist. I told her it kinda felt like bulging in my vagina when I pee and she said I have no prolaspe (or didn't see anything, I can't do internal pelvic exams), but my urethra basically being at the opening/inside my vagina makes a whole lot of sense as to why the bulging feeling may be happening. I have slight clitoromegaly too. I do have three X's (trisomy X), I know that's not related to sex characteristics really though. I'm looking at getting tested for other intersex variations. But like, I noticed this because I was looking at myself with a mirror for a different issue/thing and realised between my clitoris and my vaginal opening, it is flat, there is no hole of any sort. Anyways I'm just yapping, didn't come here to get advice or answers but if you do have something extra to add I don't mind at all!

I'll start this by clarifying that I'm not intersex myself (or at least not that I'm aware) but I figured this post fits the sub.

So. I recently got my hands on a baby quaker parrot. For the uninitiated, they're one of the very few bird species who lack sexual dimorphism so the only way to know for sure is via a DNA test, which is exactly what I did. In the meantime I decided to guve them a gender neutral name and refer to them with they/them pronouns just to be safe.

Today the results came and were labeled as "inconclusive" because Kiwi didn't fit into a typical DNA profile of either sex. Turns out they're a very rare little guy. Pretty neat if you ask me

This is the Weekly Discussion Thread for r/intersex.

Feel free to use this thread to discuss whatever you've been up to. It does not have to be intersex specific, but please mind the rules and stay SFW.

Have a nice week!

~ your mod team <3

I just had an appointment with my GP today where we finally decided to begin the process of getting me a hysterectomy. This is something I have wanted for a while now - we have tried multiple forms of birth control to regulate my periods, some worked better than others, but at the end of the day there is one reason or another why I either could not continue them (namely the combined pill which DID work quite well *when I remembered to take it without missing a day*, but as I am on Testosterone I had to stop, but also I was really bad at remembering to take the pill each morning) or they just did not work (Slinda and Depo made them worse - 3 month long periods. E-Ring is good for making sure I know when I'm gonna start bleeding and also helps prevent atrophy, but my periods are still heavy and painful, plus I was having a bit of breakthrough). Aside from all this, birth control does not help the cysts on my ovaries. I am still getting some ovary pain a week after my period, plus other ovary pain issues. Also... this is partly Gender Affirming Care as well, if I had no issues this would still be something I'd go ahead with. This organ was destined to go.

Thing is... once I get that surgery, because I likely will also have to remove my ovaries, theres nothing that makes me Intersex anymore. My entire condition is because of my ovaries (cysts, +producing more androgens in the ovaries) and I'm effectively "curing" myself. Sure, I will *always* be on HRT if my ovaries have to be removed (which is likely), but that doesn't really mean anything, plenty of Perisex people are on HRT for life as well due to hysterectomy, transition, etc.

I already had Imposter Syndrome about calling myself Intersex because of my PMOS, because it is so debated. Then it got worse when I went on Testosterone because... well, that's already kind of fixing my hormone variation as part of my transition. Now I'm removing the source of most of my problems and I don't know, I guess I just feel like I don't have a right to call myself Intersex anymore once that organ is gone.

I don't know if other variations would have this experience or not but I guess I just feel like I'm not allowed to stay in the community if I am basically "curing" myself by removing the source of my variation. Does anyone else have a similar/same experience? Is it fine to still be calling myself an Intersex person if I remove the source of my variation?

I don't have any idea of what I really am. I have not been trough genital mutilation despite being so common in Brasil but I have scrotal tissue, a larger clitoris, I don't know if I can get pregnant but the front side isn't "usable" or is vaginismus, I had hormonal imbalances in puberty I don't know it's related with intersex condition but were forcibly fixed with hormones. I have NO IDEA what I have, family comment slightly on that here as a joke. With that being acknowledged from a young age made me develop the male gender. But i suffer transphobia as I'm a "petite little girl" and it was kept as a shameful secret (for the better), so in order not to suffer ever again how I did in highschool I use intersexuality as a shield to be "biologically male". As in, a excuse to have transitioned too. (I don't even believe we should call human sex "male and female" I try to make my explainations friendly as possible to not feed these nomenclatures)

But I lie I have androgenic deficiency instead of a uterus and a internal ball (I also think it wouldn't make a difference in their treatment) Everyone in my social group thinks I'm intersex, with partial androgenic deficiency (almost Morris/complete androgenic deficiency) "treated" on puberty with hormones. and I think most of them would belittle and make me into a joke and sex instead of just the protective airs they give. One of my friend even denies androgenic deficiency being an intersex condition

Remember many Intersex people are ALSO trans! Additionally him and the GOP are targeting the most vulnerable link 🔗 in the LGBTIQ+ community.

When they are done murdering transgender people the leopards will need more faces to eat. Other queer people cannot hide behind transgender lighting rods forever.

So please band together and with whatever bandwidth you have left show resistance any way possible.

for those who saw my post before it got taken down (i assume due to misinterpretation so i'm not bothered, i understand i wasn't fully clear that i was only looking for advice on how to talk to my doctors)

my blood work indicates i most likely have PCOS which obviously isn't super "good news", considering the insulin resistance part, but i'm just so happy to be finally figuring out my body and what's been going on with my hormones! :)

Hello, I am sorry for explicit question. I will put it in spoiler text, so you can avoid if you want.

I am having some confusion. I have mixed gonadal dysgenesis. I was raised male, but had ambiguous genitals until I was 26. I live as a man, and really do not think I am a transwoman. But when I was young, I was very reckless and did a lot of sex stuff that it is difficult for me to even admit to myself. It was mostly around, acting as the female partner for a man. I am not really sure how I even got the idea to do this. I started as a teenager and did it off and on for maybe 10 years. I suppose, I had a few bad experiences with men as a kid after they found out about my condition, so I maybe just assumed this was what I should do sexually, since people already seemed to want it.

In my mid-twenties I had a lot of urinary issues. My urologist mentioned, surgical procedures had improved a lot. I needed a urethroplasty anyways, so I decided to do a corrective surgery.

I was glad about the surgery. But I am finding now, it feels like my body is sexually wrong, it is like my brain just mapped everything to my old configuration and never figured out my body is different now. Sorry for TMI, I can get aroused, it just feels like the object to release arousal no longer exists. But even this is odd, because I’ve always had trouble orgasming.

I am very confused. It’s not that I regret the surgery. I used to be really ashamed and now I’m not. And I used to do really risky stuff when I was lonely, and then get hurt or regret it, I don’t have any good memories of sex from before the surgery. My only good sexual memory was actually a few years after, when I slept with a friend. But it was good because I liked him so much, I was very confused about what was going on with my genitals the whole time. It is hard to admit, but sometimes I wish I hadn’t done the surgery. But then I think, that is stupid, to have kept a situation I was unhappy with just for sexual release.

I am just wondering, if there is anyone else who had corrective surgery as an adult and then felt confused. And if it eventually resolved.

Dear new members of r/intersex,

Welcome to this sub! We hope you had a wonderful time so far. If you want to, please feel free to introduce yourself (but please restrain from sharing any sensitive personal information and try to stay true to our rules).

~ your mod team

This was a response to me stating I have a kareotypic mosaic, which makes me natally male even though I developed female. Like. Can’t you be normal??? I don’t even understand this response. Just flabbergasted

I saw the intersex flag included in street art today! I was glad to see us included. I liked the flower behind the window, i thought that was a cute use of the circle of the flag.