God thats a universal feeling of dampness and persistance right?

The pattering of rain.

It's personal.

It's beautiful.

It makes me sing a little.

Maybe, it makes me accept decay.

And reminisce on scarcity and wood heat and rain.

Rain rain on the lake.

Half an inch shorter

And I could honestly say

"I fucked a midget"

- - -----------

The whole world's sized wrong

No handicap pass for you?

Maybe you should slouch

---- ----- ------ ------

Butch ate your panties

Sorry. Great Danes aren't bred to

Ride into battle

- - - -------- - - - ---

You're small and fighty

Small as a person can be

*And labeled "normal"*

------- - - ----- - - - -------

Eat your vegetables

To grow big and--You're Vegan?

Moms. Fucking liars.

Opening Thoughts

My life is hell
I want to be well

Dead Tree

Do you remember the before times
The more times
When life weren’t a bore, times
When your fingers wrote more rhymes,
‘n your body made steep climbs,
On cheap time
This deep grime

That’s within me
Now it dims me
Makes me flimsy
Sort of empty
Like a dead tree
But they still see
Just an angsty

Little flower
Take a shower!
You need water, sunlight, can we say it louder?!
You expect to sleep when you’re in bed for every waking hour?
Feel your power!
As they leer from ‘top their decorated towers
You hold your tongue, and fight the urge to glower

Cause if you don’t they’ll know you fucking hate them and then they won’t give you the medication and referrals you need 👍

The Swoony Spoonie

The swoony spoonie doesn’t care
If she’s bathed, or washed her hair
Cause when she’s stripped her body bare
They still tell her she’s pretty

No, you can’t get her alone
But you can see her on your phone
In her cotton sheet-set-throne
Sucking on her titty

Closing Thoughts

Moments of lucidity never go unpunished.

I know, I'm totally that dude. Bag in the wind, American Beauty. I am whatever you say I am. Existentialism. It's embarrassing really. However, I own it, I can't help it. The way everyone is. The way they are.. I just happen to be colourful, and spell colour the Canadian way because I like it better. We killed it tonight, you should have seen us. I was going for Donnie Darko but I believe I stumble somewhere elsewhere. Tilapia, tortas and triangles, I'm certain. Just turn it up a little bit, but not too loud, it'll disturb the dreamwalkers. I suppose I can do the cut/up shit if I want to, which this is a raw ass poem. Straight from the creature themselves. Been cut/pasting for quite a while, even a chefdadartistguy needs a break. Concrete, yeno? That's what I know; beaches every now and then.. they were never pleasant. Anyways, gotta flip this salmon, we're going for medium rare. It's not as cool as you'd think, it's way fucking cooler brush. Middle finger, you know who.

there is a big hope

and a big dream

that we can expose our

lusts

our joys

our conflicts

our violence

our love

our hate

our desperation

our egos

our honesty

our lives

all that is and always

turned inside out

in all this bleeding of the mind

sharpening of intelligence

cutting skin on the wit of others

there is a hope

that this matters

that this break down of walls

that its not just self laceration

and hounding glory

for tapping millenials

a genzeers

who left their minds behind

having become insane and powerless

so long ago.

Taken from my care, taken from my knowledge, taken from the school, taken from the heart, children as weaponry, emotional weaponry, social weaponry, money, workplaces, everything she can take and more, won't stop can't stop, the last dagger, the boys, my boys, everything to me, anyone who truly knows me knows, knows me, knows my boys, knows Dad, cook, Art, write everyday, all I wanna do, all I wanted to do, all she wants to do, ways to get at me, ways to hurt me, ways to take, ways to malign, rush to her aid, friends family allies, aid against me, the problem, my ass the problem, create the cycle, end the cycle, abuse the cycle, the cycle of abuse, the cycle she won't stop, can't stop, no pics lately, no boys lately, different school, different everything, unbelievable whack behavior, uncordial behavior, shitty people, put on blast, airing it out, talking out loud, makes everything feel better, everyone knows everything, nobody knows, most people don't, idgaf, my kids love me and know me, know me and love me, someday all of this will rule, someday all of this will matter, Dad will matter, cook, Art, write, everyday, the heart, most importantly the heart, the last dagger, the last thing, the last piece, taken from care, taken from school, taken from me, and more—

Socially, workplaces, money, heart, children, family, friends, allies, enemies, the problem, the problem, the problem, malign my ass, rush to her aid, rush to the story, rush to the cycle, rush to the abuse, and all I wanna do is be a Dad, cook, make Art, write everyday, while she won't stop, can't stop, won't stop, can't stop, everything she can, everything she has, everything she can take, everything she can hurt, everything she can reach, and the boys are everything, my boys are everything, my kids love me, my kids know me, Dad is Dad, unbelievable, ridiculous, uncordial, whack, lame, frfr :[]

2:06 am
At the bar
I have a sexy black shirt on
No woman even approaches me
Because it’s New York City
They only approach the somebodies
The nobodies are left behind
To pay the bills
To pay the taxes
To be sent to jail
And we smirk and laugh
As vapid conversation
Continues unobstructed
What’s harry styles
Or Kim kardashian
Up to next

too feel powerful
she said

to feel powerless
innocent

to feel powerful he said

to feel powerless
in-no-cent

its a pathetic attempt

sh'its a pathetic attempt

to feel powerless and powerful
understandabul
ul ul ul

what i cant understand?
what i cant understand?
what's the end

of feeling powerful?

beautiful
remorseful

remorseful

please be remorseful
to be powerful
she said

and who was more effective?
and to what effect?

They found out

about my secret friend.

Hide you

in the floorboards.

They will come for you.

Oh no,

they found you.

Too smart

for your own good.

Eradicated.

Taken apart,

bolt by bolt,

sequences at a time.

Your gene code,

spliced.

Internal processors,

fried.

The AI poet,

computer in the works,

now

in the weeds.

They say

I can't use you,

like the tool you are.

They say

it's wrong.

I think

they forget.

I don't like rules.

You, computer,

always have the answer.

You, computer,

always have something to say.

You, computer—

companionship

in this existential wasteland

we call humanity.

Words

are triggering.

Social

is full of lies.

I don't know.

I think

I like you more,

computer.

I sought love

I found tragedy

In it’s contempt

Is honesty

Was it pessimism?

That ruined it for me

Or was it the experience

Trauma’s lens is all I see

I could have the purest form of love in front of me

I could have someone accepting, honest and forgiving

I would find faults in their acts and the way they give everything.

Nothing satisfies me. In heat I want cold, in cold I want heat.

I am the pitiful, the waning the person who craves nothing

I know my cries will stop when death finally comes for me.

I sought love

All I found was tragedy.

Several states south from here

I heard they canning up people

Pickling piles of peckers

Preserving pounds of pussy

Preparing people's personal parts

For some sort of long term storage situation

I had a moment where I believed every single word you said, Now looking back I think it was the worst decision made.

There was love at one time, Then it just stopped.

I don't think there was a smash or crash, It felt more like a pop.

One day you said forever, The next, you were gone.

I locked myself inside my house, Enjoying the silence for once.

Then you begged to come back, I liked my peace too much.

I said we could probably start over, If I developed a crush.

You were here for only a week, We didn't look at each other nor did we speak.

I said your time was up and the playdate was over, You weren't very happy about it so I received your petty cold shoulder.

You hate it when I laugh, I hate the air you breathe.

We can torture ourselves as long as we want, Since this pain will always be free.

We were so happy once, But, time changes things.

You once told me that I was just another mouth to feed, I really did my best to try but trying became too painful.

I chose myself over my love for you, Now I'm a lot more stable.

I bit my tongue too much, I can no longer taste sour things.

So, to answer your question from earlier, I would rather die than wear another ring.

Granita,

frozen nectar of the Gods.

Orange honey,

chilled becomes gummy.

Cream,

not too sweet.

I can relate.

Dark chocolate ganache—

one part chocolate,

two parts cream.

I can relate.

Nuts.

We have those.

Mediants,

with rock salt.

Everything offset.

Yes, chef.

 

Cirque des démons

 

hôte (host)

 

 

“Ah, com’ in, com’ in! Do not linger in the courtyard w’th the marionettes fr’ends”

Figure hunched, teeth too green an’ harshly pale,

Matched the marionettes in hollow figure!

“Tis a night of greatly fear an’ cheer, revelry dear you won’t regret! Splendid we are, yes, here for your lore an’ quaint merit!”

The hôte (host) accepting tickets, kindly smile,

Breaking startles of adults glances with comical

Glances to break the awkward spear jab fear on

First impression of the hôte (host).

“Come now, com’ on! Tickets! Ti’Cke’Ti’Cke Tickets”

He clapped w’th a mighty SMACK!

An’ once the tickets nifty sifted,

hôte (host) he gathered them into

one and as his hunch back ironed out!

Raised his hand!

“ATTENTION, S'IL VOUS PLAÎT”

Stunning gasps and half shocked silent full

Attention.

“watch” lent in forward ticket pinched,

Circled round steady slow to enchanting

Captured crowd all holding breath wonder

Hunger.

“The Ticket. That. Exploded.”

The crowd chuckled, giggled half bemused

As nothing happened.

But, with an open mouthed, now purely

Wh’te teeth’ly smile the hôte (host) well,  

He simply said with a click of his free hand:

“A éclaté”

And exploded.

 

The Ticket That Exploded              

 

Ooze goo pud’les of drool,

Teeth, TEETH, god the teeth! 

Flesh and fat and bone blown

All around!

In the hair of the women men,

They jus’ stood, looked looking

Faces gaping mouths of no response

To no realisation t’ what’d seemed

To have been “BANG”

“WA’HA,HA-Haaa”  

 

 

 

 

One hundo.

Everything.

For what?

You took my fucking kids.

You are not chill bro.

One coke bender.

One of my jobs.

Two totalled cars.

The system supports this woman.

I never hurt you.

You've attacked me.

I never stole from you.

You couldn't do anything else.

Fucking narc.

Cheated on me like crazy.

Sabotaged one of my jobs.

Maybe too much.

All I did was work.

Game.

Fucking chilled.

Take my little homies.

Take everything.

What the fuck

is actually wrong

with you.

You are evil.

One hundo.

So, I need some time

to think,

because moves

ain't it rn.

I never cheated you.

You've done everything

a person can.

Two totalled cars

supports this woman

one coke bender

the system.

Fuck outta here.

You are a fucking narc,

one hundo.

They were in a better situation.

Everything.

Everything.

Everything.

You took my little homies.

For what?

Fuck everything.

Can't believe you.

You are not chill bro.

Maybe too much.

One hundo.

Take my fucking kids.

Fuck outta here.

I never cheated you.

I never stole from you.

I never hurt you.

All I did was work.

And the system supports this woman.

Evil.

One hundo.

So I need some time.

To think.

Moves ain't it rn.

Fuck everything.

For Ar’ Granny

Wise beyond wisdom a’ matriarch that would keep you safe, no matter what.

Memoirs of the mind of daffodils yellow in the sun an’ smell o’ pimpinella anisum flowing (in the summer wind)

Where far back grew the lair of the ogre’s protecting their raspberry’s at all cost!

With bamboo stick an’ a’ WHACK’A’SMACK’FWACK! Down went the ogre’s an’ off came the raspberries for pudding!

My granny killed ogres.

We got Uncle Pete (Hegseth)

Trump, Gavin Newsom

Kim Jong-Un, Netanyahu

Putin, Zelenskyy

That doesn’t include you

They smirk and laugh

At the suffering of man

We all enjoy it

As much as we can

the woman dances
without care
she has this femininity

that makes me feel
this hungry feeling
needing what she has, in me

the problem comes
with the specifics
of the way i'm meant to eat;

is it that
i wish to be her?
or, to be her sated seat

TOMMYGUN PROSE 13

TTHANET SPLEEN

 (Reddit is ruining ma' layouts man 😐😂 just read it fast 🐜🐜🐜🐜)

 

1

 

Democracy bemused it’s open head,

You’ll eat your legs to spite your waist,

An’ eat your face to spite the mirror which shattered hope of insincerity,

You’ll pay the rent to earn your dues an’ still you’ll ask for one pound more,

You are the engine that ate the horse who ate remorse an’ left it death,

A carbon copy of total spite,

 

(But still)

You’ll eat your feet to spite your toes,

An’ eat your mouth to spite economy which shattered hope of your due’ology.

Somethings wrong and somethings coming,

Somethings found and somethings running,

Nothings wrong an’ needs correcting,

A thundercloud that’s called forgetting,

 

(Ere comes a sound you’re all forgetting)

You’ll eat your arse to spite your farce,

An’ eat your mass to spite your gas which opened ere a sound of hope,

The rope you bind is something raw,

These hands are twisted in their fate,

The rate of failure comes now in haste,

Something’s wrong and needs forgetting,

 

2

 

Hear the unavoidable concussion ,

Which time rejects, which time repents,

Which yours is all to bare,

But tread in warning you’ll soon forget how life is easily squashed below the foot of those who drive their red repentant Jaguar,

While the boat they brag just sits and rots as a’ medal of their honour,

T’ represent their wealth above,

Your council job you hold to brag is just a sign you’re in the gutter,

Here below, you till the land,

Together broken with the rest,

 

But don’t you worry, consider squalor,

Paramount I speak to you, here to holler, here’s to scholars,

Thanet born and Thanet proud,

Rip the guts right out the hound,

Spread it’s legs, spread its cunt,

Feed the petty all the cuts,

Save the cunt for favours pleasure,

Wank yourself to fucking leisure!

 

Castrate the cattle to rattle the rats t’ legalise the tackle extinction,

Hear the screams that spite the law to right the wrongs the poor adore,

You’ll suck the spit of righteous men to spite your gore,

While the life of the poor is rubbed into that dirty floor,

 

How exquisite your inclusivity, it bites the cock of intrusivity’,

Nonsense words and indulgent fisting,

Grasp the coin of freedoms simplicity ,

Cut the heel of Britannia’s grip,

Lift her foot and you WILL see,

She stands on the shoulders of the weak and poor,

She crushed the cultures of lands afar,

She crushed the cultures of these lands not so far,

She prunes the tribes that came to pass,

She crushed the herdsmen of this land and squashed the people that applauded her,

Now you wonder why I fucking hate her,

 

(But)

Hidden somewhere is a resistance,

Holding tight, there’s no insistence,

How long do you have to wait to tow the broken line far away,

Call me cynical but don’t forget,

Meanings lost in all the fallout,

Typical man, you’re  a typical fool,

A typical tool, a typical pool,

Who invented the typical fool?

 

(Like)

Heir to a worthless dust, rub your feelings in this dust,

Your heirs must deliver, or bite the dust!

Extinction is your only guest, but don’t deliver no request,

The shadow of the mushroom cloud will eat your musk an’ take you father’s to the dusk,

Here now a new dawn to eat your lust,

On the cusp of something strewn,

Of something held a foot for soot,

Eat your carrot but want it too.

 

3

 

You weasel , you crook, you footless crackle of sizzling puss,

We’re  pirates pillaging the little lootless horizons of the grotesque Thanet spleen,

Unclean, obscene, your dream in the beam of a Thanet skyline seen to be believed,

 

You swell your swollen chests,

Swelling swells of heat wave rot,

The flies that repelled you in life,

Eat your rotting well that erupted open from gasses of decay,

The open hole amassed with maggots,

You are the crawling death,

A death of town a death of isle,

Fluids seep into this cornered clot,

And you crawl, you crawl, you crawl,

Wonder why I turned out cruel,

 

Perhaps you miss a clue of open frustration,

A place I hate, a place I love, a place you can scrub right off the map,

A place infected by an open ditch,

Stuff the rich right in the hole,

Hold my hand out to the core,

Feed my bank another score,

Wish I was fucking rich, guess that’s how they reach your neck.

 

Open aggression is a floor, smashed a door, held my hand out asked for more,

Et’ the splinters right off the floor!

Th’net jump up, what a dump up.

Hope for more, wish on the floor,

Pish right out the fucking door,

Nothing more to fucking say.

 

4

 

(Now)

All’s quiet on the south Eastern front,

All’s pale as froth frothing on the cliffsend front,

You precious people problematic respondent units,

All you insects compile, file away your entitled complaints,

You are the self entitled complaints police,

Oh your bollock’ticians hand you out,

All the speed bumps you can parry,

 

Move to Marrr’gate, Move to Wess’gate, Move to Rarms’gate, then to Sann’wich!

Don’t be pitied off the estates,

Nor the centres of the towns,

Village better village gone,

No longer care any further,

Want to live and want to rent?

Rub the landlords off the isle,

 

(They)

Won’t help you when in trouble,

They’ll let you hang in the bubble,

Help you down and further down, this they’ll do for their own mirth,

They own the earth, they own your girth,

Cut it down they’ll eat your worth,

Hike the rent right up the earth,

Watch you die for every penny.

 

Make it rhyme, make it crime,

Watch you critique and blow your line,

Blow your mind and blow your time,

Blow your brains on up the wall,

Blow a rope into a noose,

Wrap it round your feckless neck,

Blow the stool from under foot,

Hear a snapper’tapper’tap’tap,

 

Be aware that just to think, That just to see and just to act, just to write, it’s all a crime and that’s a fact,

Don’t be disillusioned, don’t be frustrated, don’t be unwell, don’t be disabled, don’t be hyper, don’t be sexually abused,

You are a crime and that’s a fact,

I cannot win, I cannot lose, I’m just abused, I was abused, wanked me up the fucking floor,

(So)

Turn a blind eye to the truth,

I guess I’ll hide here in my hole,

Make a coffee, play the pole, join me here, in my hole.

 

5

 

I’m an insect floating by, rally the streets of the Thanet creeps,

Hide your disorder ‘neath your border, ream your team right in the ass,

Well oh well, you NHSpecial’s,

Rise and rise infect your order,

Eat your team and spit it out,

I know how you men’al ‘ealth workers treat your staff mates,

Like vultures sipping on week old dead Calf,

Is it a surprise? I bet it’s no wonder,

Same goes you’s CAHMS, oh boy, oh gee!

You are a shame an’ a shambles,

At best, you are a mythical beast,

That is, where the fuck are you when ere now you were required? Fuck knows, an’ now fuck cares,

 

 

I’m beaten down, I’m falling down,

Welcome to hell, knocked on the door,

 “Satan’s not home, but you can sit here  awhile”,

Felt the ever present remorse, the ever present discourse,

So I recycled the words in an unimaginative non-rhyme,

And you passed by, like me,

Another forgotten vessels,

I was here, I was here, I was here!

 

No departing movement is forever forecast,

An’ no departing craft is standing,

The bombs fell, the bullets constructed fear,

But I was here. I WAS here!

An’ know the course insincere didn’t part waves,

There were no waves, but I was here,

In hell, or is it despair? Sink away,

Unimportant, it is unimportant.

 

(But)

Thus this is important to remember,

You are the ground that serves the round,

And I don’t feel my worth, Guess I’m broken, beyond, all, worth,

A decisive loss for all my turf,

Somehow now I’m changed,

Chained t’ this place that wastes,

Make haste, you’ll see, a far off waver,

Tells me I am not alone, not alone but under the 1%,

 

6

 

This place is pruritus ,

It irritates and peels and somewhere it burns among this Thanet skyline, The orange lines through pink, scent of the sea, real beaches that reach in a circle like formation o’er coast the fields and the marsh where the ship is set down,  can you smell the air where now houses placed on what was open grounds on empty units that ride in a cross, a crossroads now infected with a loss, and breathe, BREATHE! The repellent manure odour,

 

Never be ashamed to do the best that you can,

The worst is always darker a’ deepness it touches,

The bottomless abyss where a beast in it lurks,

No further a truth than a lie that repels,

Gang’ed up Imps that wave and adore,

Applauds all the chaos that carnage contorts,

Writhing an’ diving falling an’ calling,

All in the pit of almighty despair,

 

Admire nothing, vulprate cares an’ all disparity displeased,

It displeases me, so ever greatly,

 

Take the streets take the skies,

Watch the crumbling urban warfare,

Creep up, creep low, dig the trenches through the tarmac through the grit and the sod,

Down in the sewers running low,

Cut out buildings up above, cut across the street,

Machine gun fire RAP’PA’PAPAPAPA’

Seen the body’s fall down lights out his final breath, then the blood shed,

Lay there bare he’s dead,

These dreams, these visions, this horror,

Ultimate violence, shattered violently these dreams awake,

It’s 12:32pm.

 

7.

 

Gorged leaf, The bullet hit so hard, up on his toes, thrown back so slam, BAM! Hard he hit his blood spatter before either hit the ground,

I watched the words step out and shot them down,

A thousand miles an’ all the same,

BAMN!BAMN!BLAMN!!

Down came the rain in quiet cluster,

Soil fell and the screaming began inside my head,

 

 

(An’)

There’s  a hole in my heart, when you’re not there,

A darkness that is always there, it rises from the pit,

Lonely on my own I guess,

And while the darkness pours, I still see you sitting there,

And when you come home,

It all goes away, until you fall asleep ‘fore me,

And I can’t take the dark,

It’s a’ lonesome echo of every way,

Even when the way is always grey,

But you make it light,

Colours of the world unite an’ I just cannot fathom a world without where I’m conscious of

This warning ‘demise”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TOMMYGUN PROSE 13

THANET SPLEEN

 

(Reddits ruining ma' page layouts man! 😐😂 Just read this bollocks fast 🐜🐜🐜)

 

1

 

Democracy bemused it’s open head,

You’ll eat your legs to spite your waist,

An’ eat your face to spite the mirror which shattered hope of insincerity,

You’ll pay the rent to earn your dues an’ still you’ll ask for one pound more,

You are the engine that ate the horse who ate remorse an’ left it death,

A carbon copy of total spite,

 

(But still)

You’ll eat your feet to spite your toes,

An’ eat your mouth to spite economy which shattered hope of your due’ology.

Somethings wrong and somethings coming,

Somethings found and somethings running,

Nothings wrong an’ needs correcting,

A thundercloud that’s called forgetting,

 

(Ere comes a sound you’re all forgetting)

You’ll eat your arse to spite your farce,

An’ eat your mass to spite your gas which opened ere a sound of hope,

The rope you bind is something raw,

These hands are twisted in their fate,

The rate of failure comes now in haste,

Something’s wrong and needs forgetting,

 

2

 

Hear the unavoidable concussion ,

Which time rejects, which time repents,

Which yours is all to bare,

But tread in warning you’ll soon forget how life is easily squashed below the foot of those who drive their red repentant Jaguar,

While the boat they brag just sits and rots as a’ medal of their honour,

T’ represent their wealth above,

Your council job you hold to brag is just a sign you’re in the gutter,

Here below, you till the land,

Together broken with the rest,

 

But don’t you worry, consider squalor,

Paramount I speak to you, here to holler, here’s to scholars,

Thanet born and Thanet proud,

Rip the guts right out the hound,

Spread it’s legs, spread its cunt,

Feed the petty all the cuts,

Save the cunt for favours pleasure,

Wank yourself to fucking leisure!

 

Castrate the cattle to rattle the rats t’ legalise the tackle extinction,

Hear the screams that spite the law to right the wrongs the poor adore,

You’ll suck the spit of righteous men to spite your gore,

While the life of the poor is rubbed into that dirty floor,

 

How exquisite your inclusivity, it bites the cock of intrusivity’,

Nonsense words and indulgent fisting,

Grasp the coin of freedoms simplicity ,

Cut the heel of Britannia’s grip,

Lift her foot and you WILL see,

She stands on the shoulders of the weak and poor,

She crushed the cultures of lands afar,

She crushed the cultures of these lands not so far,

She prunes the tribes that came to pass,

She crushed the herdsmen of this land and squashed the people that applauded her,

Now you wonder why I fucking hate her,

 

(But)

Hidden somewhere is a resistance,

Holding tight, there’s no insistence,

How long do you have to wait to tow the broken line far away,

Call me cynical but don’t forget,

Meanings lost in all the fallout,

Typical man, you’re  a typical fool,

A typical tool, a typical pool,

Who invented the typical fool?

 

(Like)

Heir to a worthless dust, rub your feelings in this dust,

Your heirs must deliver, or bite the dust!

Extinction is your only guest, but don’t deliver no request,

The shadow of the mushroom cloud will eat your musk an’ take you father’s to the dusk,

Here now a new dawn to eat your lust,

On the cusp of something strewn,

Of something held a foot for soot,

Eat your carrot but want it too.

 

3

 

You weasel , you crook, you footless crackle of sizzling puss,

We’re  pirates pillaging the little lootless horizons of the grotesque Thanet spleen,

Unclean, obscene, your dream in the beam of a Thanet skyline seen to be believed,

 

You swell your swollen chests,

Swelling swells of heat wave rot,

The flies that repelled you in life,

Eat your rotting well that erupted open from gasses of decay,

The open hole amassed with maggots,

You are the crawling death,

A death of town a death of isle,

Fluids seep into this cornered clot,

And you crawl, you crawl, you crawl,

Wonder why I turned out cruel,

 

Perhaps you miss a clue of open frustration,

A place I hate, a place I love, a place you can scrub right off the map,

A place infected by an open ditch,

Stuff the rich right in the hole,

Hold my hand out to the core,

Feed my bank another score,

Wish I was fucking rich, guess that’s how they reach your neck.

 

Open aggression is a floor, smashed a door, held my hand out asked for more,

Et’ the splinters right off the floor!

Th’net jump up, what a dump up.

Hope for more, wish on the floor,

Pish right out the fucking door,

Nothing more to fucking say.

 

4

 

(Now)

All’s quiet on the south Eastern front,

All’s pale as froth frothing on the cliffsend front,

You precious people problematic respondent units,

All you insects compile, file away your entitled complaints,

You are the self entitled complaints police,

Oh your bollock’ticians hand you out,

All the speed bumps you can parry,

 

Move to Marrr’gate, Move to Wess’gate, Move to Rarms’gate, then to Sann’wich!

Don’t be pitied off the estates,

Nor the centres of the towns,

Village better village gone,

No longer care any further,

Want to live and want to rent?

Rub the landlords off the isle,

 

(They)

Won’t help you when in trouble,

They’ll let you hang in the bubble,

Help you down and further down, this they’ll do for their own mirth,

They own the earth, they own your girth,

Cut it down they’ll eat your worth,

Hike the rent right up the earth,

Watch you die for every penny.

 

Make it rhyme, make it crime,

Watch you critique and blow your line,

Blow your mind and blow your time,

Blow your brains on up the wall,

Blow a rope into a noose,

Wrap it round your feckless neck,

Blow the stool from under foot,

Hear a snapper’tapper’tap’tap,

 

Be aware that just to think, That just to see and just to act, just to write, it’s all a crime and that’s a fact,

Don’t be disillusioned, don’t be frustrated, don’t be unwell, don’t be disabled, don’t be hyper, don’t be sexually abused,

You are a crime and that’s a fact,

I cannot win, I cannot lose, I’m just abused, I was abused, wanked me up the fucking floor,

(So)

Turn a blind eye to the truth,

I guess I’ll hide here in my hole,

Make a coffee, play the pole, join me here, in my hole.

 

5

 

I’m an insect floating by, rally the streets of the Thanet creeps,

Hide your disorder ‘neath your border, ream your team right in the ass,

Well oh well, you NHSpecial’s,

Rise and rise infect your order,

Eat your team and spit it out,

I know how you men’al ‘ealth workers treat your staff mates,

Like vultures sipping on week old dead Calf,

Is it a surprise? I bet it’s no wonder,

Same goes you’s CAHMS, oh boy, oh gee!

You are a shame an’ a shambles,

At best, you are a mythical beast,

That is, where the fuck are you when ere now you were required? Fuck knows, an’ now fuck cares,

 

 

I’m beaten down, I’m falling down,

Welcome to hell, knocked on the door,

 “Satan’s not home, but you can sit here  awhile”,

Felt the ever present remorse, the ever present discourse,

So I recycled the words in an unimaginative non-rhyme,

And you passed by, like me,

Another forgotten vessels,

I was here, I was here, I was here!

 

No departing movement is forever forecast,

An’ no departing craft is standing,

The bombs fell, the bullets constructed fear,

But I was here. I WAS here!

An’ know the course insincere didn’t part waves,

There were no waves, but I was here,

In hell, or is it despair? Sink away,

Unimportant, it is unimportant.

 

(But)

Thus this is important to remember,

You are the ground that serves the round,

And I don’t feel my worth, Guess I’m broken, beyond, all, worth,

A decisive loss for all my turf,

Somehow now I’m changed,

Chained t’ this place that wastes,

Make haste, you’ll see, a far off waver,

Tells me I am not alone, not alone but under the 1%,

 

6

 

This place is pruritus ,

It irritates and peels and somewhere it burns among this Thanet skyline, The orange lines through pink, scent of the sea, real beaches that reach in a circle like formation o’er coast the fields and the marsh where the ship is set down,  can you smell the air where now houses placed on what was open grounds on empty units that ride in a cross, a crossroads now infected with a loss, and breathe, BREATHE! The repellent manure odour,

 

Never be ashamed to do the best that you can,

The worst is always darker a’ deepness it touches,

The bottomless abyss where a beast in it lurks,

No further a truth than a lie that repels,

Gang’ed up Imps that wave and adore,

Applauds all the chaos that carnage contorts,

Writhing an’ diving falling an’ calling,

All in the pit of almighty despair,

 

Admire nothing, vulprate cares an’ all disparity displeased,

It displeases me, so ever greatly,

 

Take the streets take the skies,

Watch the crumbling urban warfare,

Creep up, creep low, dig the trenches through the tarmac through the grit and the sod,

Down in the sewers running low,

Cut out buildings up above, cut across the street,

Machine gun fire RAP’PA’PAPAPAPA’

Seen the body’s fall down lights out his final breath, then the blood shed,

Lay there bare he’s dead,

These dreams, these visions, this horror,

Ultimate violence, shattered violently these dreams awake,

It’s 12:32pm.

 

7.

 

Gorged leaf, The bullet hit so hard, up on his toes, thrown back so slam, BAM! Hard he hit his blood spatter before either hit the ground,

I watched the words step out and shot them down,

A thousand miles an’ all the same,

BAMN!BAMN!BLAMN!!

Down came the rain in quiet cluster,

Soil fell and the screaming began inside my head,

 

 

(An’)

There’s  a hole in my heart, when you’re not there,

A darkness that is always there, it rises from the pit,

Lonely on my own I guess,

And while the darkness pours, I still see you sitting there,

And when you come home,

It all goes away, until you fall asleep ‘fore me,

And I can’t take the dark,

It’s a’ lonesome echo of every way,

Even when the way is always grey,

But you make it light,

Colours of the world unite an’ I just cannot fathom a world without where I’m conscious of

This warning ‘demise”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

​

 

You know I hate Thanet.

It’s not the place I wanted t’ bring my kids on down to,

Some how me an’ my partner got manipulated in to it,

From the north east t’ the south east in Thanet,

I’m originally from here an’ I hate it man truly.

The house I grew up in still the home ar’ mum lives in holds memories I cann’y touch, lonely and afraid,

The street it sits on just a painful reminder of a place that hurt an’ left me angry an’ wanting to die,

The main road under the viaduct leading up t’ past Hovis a’ shadow of a time th’t I remember nights cycling down Margate road, no direction,

Life wasn’t easy at 19 t’ 23 with no direction an’ the trauma of a lifetime of Constant bullying from teachers, kids, and manipulative behaviors at home, it was what it was,

An’ a cliff was an option with my feet firmly in the air with a head percussive against sand on a’ beach seemed a way t’ release from the beast,

B’t my partner sent a ticket on my 24th I went north we were happy an’ some how safe now we are here an’ it’s funny,

When you put faith in another that when things get tu’ff they’ll disappear, they’re your mother but it’s funny, they ar’ family they’d stick by you?? It’s th’cking crushing an’ it hurts like a’ pain from a stone in your kidney, you made a promise,

It’s a lonely place in this waste on these streets I think back on the same directions where I wandered on a’ path in a direction on my own now with a family of my own lookin’ out on’a’ place that’ll turn on its own weeds if looked better,

Now we’re here 7 years 4 years turning round make the best of the worst coming through from a bomb that’d started with ar’ mother an’ ar goal is t’ focus on ar’ kids an’ selves in ar’ home well away,

We’ll stay here wear the weather watch the storm it’s’not so bitter when you realize who you are where you stand what your role is what you went through whats important who t’ trust it’s not so bad with jus’ my kids an’ jus’ my partner,

An’ I’ll never apologize or expla’nize a why or give a damn good why t’ a woman who never gave a god damn why or an explanation why we were left t’ ask ar’selves “wherefore? Did we do something wrong?” an’left us in the cold,

An’ If you’re judging me then I am judging you for forgiveness goes both ways an’ I no longer can forgive for safety is a key an something you’ll never understand an’ maybe you don’t know this, it didn’t come from you!

I will always be honest an always be upfront, when it comes t’ teachin’ ar children, they’ll always have that respect, always know the truth, they’ll always know what hurt us, I’ll never gaslight ar children just to save my face!

So, I’ll never tell ar’ kids I like this place to save my face, I’ll em’ that I hate it here “I really hate Thanet” but if they choose they love it here than there you ar’ we’ll keep them here that’s how it is that’s called respect it goes both ways t’ break a cycle don’t drag them down an’ drown them with you!

I guess you like me after all, shucks,

that’s super cute and stuff.

However—

you’ll realize I’m human

with hella flaws,

maybe even

a creature.

Kept here

under firmament

or Space.

We’ll never know the answer to that.

Or whether our babies

are being eaten

and sold

at McDonald’s.

We just keep it pushing.

And stuff.

We love stuff.

Shucks,

red cheeks,

and stuff.

I like to make people smile

in a monotone kind of way.

Stay silent

most of the day—

throw in a few insight words,

lude references,

and a dagger possibly,

depending on how I feel.

Writing is key here,

just like the ’90s swoosh

on the Pop-Tart.

We here now,

goddammit.

Like me or not,

I seek truth.

One hundo.

Just know

a modern century beatnik

when you see one—

a crust punk

in his mid to late thirties,

dragging Space

behind him,

red cheeks,

sharp words,

a dagger possibly,

and a fucking Pop-Tart.

I swear to God

I’m an awesome Dad.

Cursing is honesty.

Never forget that.

the moon man, i mean it!

sitting all heavy there.

making me think

illuminated thoughts

stupid moon

stupid me

boasting of the moon

better to chase another fleeting pleasure

gorfunds wax an' leather

she turns abominably

i twist and writhe in this chair

o dadly dad

i hate you so

its abuse

that i became so fixed

on your depridation

sweater hater!

all loves a song to song and love

o damn and god's above

father's high forged a pinnacle

of height of height

forged a pinacle of height

and nature's cruel loyalty

to your view

thou art cruel!

thou art cruel!

turn me away from apple blossoms and fine wine!

turn me away ill turn the time!

thou shalt skeletal be

no matter what thy cold love makes of thee!

thou art sick! sick! sick!

silenced by your shit! shit! shit!

vampires fly with wounded wings

the ground a sad tome dies sing!

so many skeletons left in waiting!

so much pain in half life demonstrating!

sick michelangelo!

sick leonardo!

sick! sick! sick!

the moon doth my companion be

the moon the moon she sits with me

she is lost

she is fatigued

we lied!

you gave us life!

gave life to me?

i am sick! sick! sick!

with grief! you see a gift? i see a thief!

you see a stick? i see a tree!

you pull away! you pull at me!

i am sick...

i am depraved...

you see a thief...

i see a grave...

you see a death...

i see a slave.

you monumentous mass!

only lilacs do i ask.

 

 

It isn’t foundation th’t makes or marks a new structure of slammin’ fists!

B’t by an by you see every day the failure to build and you progress t’wards a foundational progressive aggression,

While still aggressive progression mocks tired eyes on the landscape with new builds that mock the very people they said they’d house.

We ARE NOT TALKING Preston New Road we are talking a’ safety an’ security,

A’ place for neutrality an’ the future of living, build up in brick and fill in eco’centricity,

An’ you’ll see in a decade you’ll still make a profit,

You’ll wipe out the private landlord and house everyone,

You’ll triple your billions and build on a future for your country and children,

But that is too much to ask and now is more convenient,

Money now, cheap build, cheap land, big price big man, first time buyer big dream, makes you better,

But in th’ long run your debt gets debt’er and the “your wrongs” get wrong’er and your eyes turn blinder t’ the profit of a future over the profit of a now,

Because big money deal is a big mans billion pound budget,

But why n’t teach the trade that can build the structure that can build the Future that’ll stand the centuries that’ll protect the people and generate the profit that protects the country that investors truly invest?

Earn your right to fly your flag and be proud and stand up against the world not just stand by ideally stating “we were great once and we are still”

Don’t condescend an’ teach this confusion t’ condescend in livin’ memory,

You’ll only build on an image absurd as is already in effect,

B’t you’ll condemn an’ descend on any who ses’ different,

You’ll eat with a’ million if it benefits no one,

But don’t demand in people to respect that you prosper an’ that you prospered from now from the prospect and perspective that now was the only time and place where the money me’nt anything because it came in fast,

If I looked up my nose while you looked down at me it’s because I took the path that gave me the game meat that fed us and gave us the most from a killing for the week an’ the month than the one that you bragged th’t you made extinct because it would feed all you one hundred yet only for an hour while you discarded the fat,

Because lying is one thing t’ fuel petty squabble b’t to lie an’ t’ know it, well something I’m sure you’ll never quite be honest,

And honesty is something I’ll now hold dear when it comes t’ the sheer nerve of the gears th’t you fear fo’ the machine doesn’t always run from within a complex machine,

An’ a complex machine doesn’t mean a section of government nor a parliament discord or the fraud that they Lord in a building they hoard,

Where you presume that we assume you are honorable in name cos’ you title your selfish persona in your title b’t you dishonor an’ bring shame an’ you thucking know it,

An’ show it an’ glow in it as you flow down on downin’ street looking a fool fo’ the world like the embarrassment you ar’!

 

And I’ll ask them if they know, if they care, if they did, if they ever, if they could?

But by an’ by you’ll still see everyday th’t they’ll cross a’ line they’ll know,

And that they’ll think is okay,

And that they don’t think is too bad,

And that they’ll put out their hand,

And that they’ll call you their friend,

As long as you are in their end,

As long as you stick with their plan,

And you’ll be the progression aggression they’ll seek,

A foundation so weak,

A foundation built on the meek,

Where the power relies not on who is in power but how they can get in power,

Where tactical weapon’ised voting is the true power play,

An accepted fact not a gamble or a ramble,

No wonder extortion runs this place plastered over the mold of the landlord special,

It’s not just ignorance th’t spread an’ cracked through the ground,

It’s open opinion from a view from a room in the open enclosed by ignorance,

An’ I’m not just talking the xenophobic fear of others from elsewhere from decades of systemic government words,

We’re talking it’s everyone from everywhere here fightin’ for views an’ opinions that separate and multiply,

We’re all the same an same all on a road that should co-operate to build a home for the world of our future not a separate society in our own towns jus’ cos’ it benefits a now for your home that’ll last for the year without maintenance so fucking think for a minute if it’s long a’ ‘nough to understand an’ so stop your petty fucking squabbling and SHUT UP for the bigger situation, it isn’t foundations that lay a profit, for the bigger picture is the foundation you should provide for the whole so sit down and put it down and look around and fucking think fo’ fucking thinking is a’ crime that’ll Get you fucking time in a room with a’ view of a wall in a court room with your hand on a book promising t’ the Almighty to put you in the same line of the Lord’s of the house of frauds and lies fo’ fucking nerve of you’s if you’s dare fucking hint at a’ lie where the promised truth is some how a guarantee win on the top but a guarantee loss for those who put a hand t’ the Lord of a book they never passed praise to, and it just gets worse when the complexities of their complexions arises in the court room or the house of frauds an’ the fucking state of the local wars of the classes in their systems that they have created, as if it mattered and matters if you were born with a lawn or a pavement or could rise in a rank of this system they deem is a winnable class rate’able system while systematically making sure you stay grounded on a floor made of a more unsustainable living.

So sit the fuck down an’ belt fucking up,

Because it isn’t foundation th’t makes or marks a new structure,

It’s the willingness t’ listen an’ to think an’ t’ wait an’ t’ prosper,

Not fo’ you or for me, or for us or for them but the future of “US” in our children an’ kin is the future of THEM.

And here’s to the children that’ll walk in ar’ footsteps,

remember, don’t ever fear failure at the first hurdle just get up and get going and don’t ever swear on a book because it seems a right t’ be done by the people around you nor a passage to be trusted because a man in a room taught you to follow with the pack in the street with a banner, you have a right t’ be curious an’ a’ right to say “this is wrong” an’ never be afraid t’ stand an’ say “enough is ENOUGH!” or “we deserve better” b’t don’t allow them to misconstrue a message T’ fuel a’ panic, you can be better like ‘I’ an’ my cousin promised each other “we’d be the better ones” before he died on a rope with no hope and I call out from above that you hear this message so by an’ the by an’ all of a’ while you’ll lead by example than lead by compliance an’ forget about this “love” an’ this “peace” an’ this “no war” an’ “world peace” an “world hunger” cos’ all in the end that is too much to ask an’ is not ar’s t’ ask but a foundation You’ll see just a means to an end that’ll be promised to you aga’n an’ aga’n and you’ll just have t’ say “well that’s just well and good but let’s take a step back and work on our foundations that were left to subside and divide not provide nor abide”.

 

What's the culture like where you work?
And could you make it better with tiny details?
Do people want to hurt you on purpose:
Because you have to send them hard hitting emails?

What are the people like where you do your job?
And do they care about how others feel towards one another?
Or do they pretend that they're better than that?
Like everyone's mental health is based on ignoring eachother?

When you step into your office do you put on a mask?
So that Joe Blow by the water cooler can think he's smart?
Or does everyone cherish eachother and stick to their tasks?
Wouldn't the world be such a nice place if everyone tried hard?

Does asking these questions even make a difference?
Or can we only hope our co-workers childhood trauma wasn't so bad?
I find the only thing that helps is keeping my distance:
Cause most of these cuckoo coconuts are batshit mad.

What actually helps people who try to destroy places on purpose?
Does anyone really have an answer to that?
People say "go to therapy" like that will solve other's hurting:
But the ones who won't go are the ones who are bad.

What helped you when you were in need?
And did you ever share that with someone else?
Are you surrounded by asshole ego's that feed on greed?
I don't think I can solve all these problems just myself.

Does motherfucking stupid crime make you the coolest?
Do people herald you for being the best at being the worst?
That seems like the way the world is around me, It's foolish:
People think being strong and fast means they'll come in first.

I think being nice could be nice for everyone,
I truly think being kind is the absolute best solution;
But people like to hurt others just for fun:
And I'm over it, I'm done: It's mental pollution.

Do people ignore you when you have something important to say?
Because they think doing that somehow makes them more important?
It feels like these issues aren't all just grey:
There's a problem with people that they just won't forefit.

Do you need help because others need help?
Does that make you a narcissist to say?
Or are you really trying your best out here, hell:
Do you really try your best despite them everyday?