r/NonPoliticalTwitter Jul 16 '26

Funny Poor, poor boy

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u/ThrillhouseVeeHouten Jul 16 '26

I was a foreman at 22 for a federal trial after assuming I wasn’t going to be called. Had the worst sunburn of my life, saw a woman lift up her skirt and diarrhea all over the street on the way to my first day of the trial, and genuinely learned so much. Would absolutely do it again.

u/funkmon Jul 16 '26

What kind of diarrhea techniques did you pick up

u/ThrillhouseVeeHouten Jul 17 '26

Mainly that toilets are optional, but only for diarrhea. Pooping outside is a game meant for brevity. If you’re going to sit there and take your time, it’s going to be a problem. This woman did so much in less than five seconds.

u/Brief-Equal4676 Jul 17 '26

Not OP, but if you finger your asshole during a diarrhea episode, you can direct the shit jet where you want like a water hose with a bit of practice

u/funkmon Jul 17 '26

Really? Have you tried this? No joke