can you give me tips on how to rethink the way i go about my life? how do i survive this?
im only doing comp eng cuz my dad kinda made it my only option. im going into 3rd year and the hopelessness is growing.
i dont care about this degree, i have no interest in coding and computers, and frankly i dont even care if i dont get a job with this degree. long story short i think there is no way forward but through, and my only motivation is fear.
”what’ll happen if my gpa drops?”
“how much could i disappoint my parents?”
”how will i cope with being such a big failure?”
”how will i cope with wasting all their money?”
and such. i truly don’t have any other reason to live apart from the fact that my parents still love me and need me here. the second they gone im gone too bruh like i dont see any other point or reason.
the thing is i would be happy to do mech eng i love hands on stuff and i know nothings bound to be easy in eng so id try to make it work. i’d wanna do teaching or architecture or fix cars and shit like god why coding why numbers why all this stuff that i dont care about? that ai could replace in a heartbeat? deep down i hope ai gets so advanced they’d never ask for comp eng again and id be useless against my will. fuck bro.
anyways, i guess ive been at an acceptance stage for a long time, and the struggling, fighting version of me always exists in the corner.
i wanted to ask for any tips from anyone else who’s been in my position, so deep into this mess that the only option now is to keep going.
im thinking maybe i pick up a hobby or something to look forward to. i wanna try not to have engineering the centre of my life, although that seems impossible. i just want to be my own person. hard to do that when you’re 20 and still live with your parents.
at minimum i’ll finish this degree by 2030, any tips on how to pass the time till then?