Over the last couple of months I’ve been out with my newborn and I have come across strangers opening up to me about their inability to conceive.
The first time I took my older child to the playground and a lady who was there with her nephew came and sat on the bench with me and struck up a conversation by asking me how old my newborn was. She then proceeded to talk about how she has tried for over 15 years and has done a round of IVF on the nhs and is going to go private to try again.
Then a few weeks ago, I went to a shop and the cashier (who was in her late 40s) said she had given up but to have kids was her only wish in life.
Then today, I went to my local restaurant to pick up some food for dinner and while waiting a lady who works there came and sat next to us and asked what my son’s name was. Her response was omg that’s what I want to call my son if I have a son. I said oh are you pregnant? She said no I’ve been trying for 10 years and I can’t get pregnant at all…
It’s really hard to respond, i feel terrible for them but I don’t want to ask intrusive questions like “have you tried x, or thought about adopting etc. my main response so far is “oh I’m so sorry to hear that, I hope you get what you want in life.” But that falls so flat in my opinion?
This is a really genuine question, I’m not annoyed that people talk about it and I guess it feels nice to know people i dont know feel safe enough to open up to me but I also don’t want to say anything that’s hurtful or rude.
What would you say?