While I can look after my needs, I'm getting a bit of fomo. In your honest opinion, am I missing out? Some women make it sound like it's uninteresting or like it's a chore.

As title says

I struggle to cum with a man

A very sexy skilful patient masculine man

He lacks in almost NOTHING

TW:

I was 🍇 twice in my adult life, first time @ 18 unconscious with my then BF and at 27 this year with a fling, conscious (hope he gets terminal cancer and bad things happen to him etc)

—-

I don’t do PIV because I had a HPV scare (cervical cancer level 1 - the early stages) and it took 3 years to get rid of via biopsies and colposcopies until it finally showed negatively on last Pap smear and I was super happy. So the idea of PIV is just a no until marriage because it was very emotional mentally and physically exhausting ok. But don’t get me wrong holy fuck I miss the feeling of it but has to be a good safe genuine sexy clean intended man and what better person then my husband . (because I don’t want to contract HPV where they had to AGAIN TW.: use the forceps or whatever to tweeze out the “Sus cancerous looking shit on my y cervix” and honestly it was a very long traumatic experience. I do love PIV but I choose to wait until marriage ) oops for repeating

Now I do everything under the sun now expect for PIV, and PIA and even I tell them i don’t want their dick out unless I wanna blow (for my own pleasure)

In context of adhd pills, am currently unmedicated for 6 plus months, just finished the bar exam end of July and I got with this guy who I was speaking to over a year. We r
Both very attarcated to each other and make each other laugh a lot. He’s very very mindful and intelligent and respectful being

We got intimate and discussed boundaries. No PIV (unlike last situationship made me feel bad about us not doing PIV, but this guy understood 🥺🌻 and didn’t pressure me or coerced me at all, even before i opened up to him to tell him the HPV process and the 🍇 situations endured) and agreed his dick should not b whipped out at all unless I wanna blow which is not sth I would do unless I like
Him so wholly.

He went down on me and ladies it felt amazing!!! I have never been eaten out like this before. It starts slow and gentle and he increases the pressure but not speed. And adds in sucking my clit properly :,). Euphoria. BUT BUT here’s where I need ur help

It did indeed feel amazing and we had to take multiple breaks because I kept getting desensitised and I felt like I was gonna cum but I DIDNT. Like 5 different times I was close and I m tryna focus on it but like I keep loosing it. I feel sexually
Frustrated.

And he’s moaning and enjoying and saying how amazing I taste and he’s really just wow and clearly he has the stamina. Because that went on for almost two hours. And I didn’t. Fucking. Cum. I do sometimes space out but I try to refocus again. But holy shit what’s wrong with me.

I have never had the pleasure of cumming/orgasming by a man in my
Life. Closest I have gotten was masturbating with him
In the room. Anyways I feel Like with this guy it’s possible :) 🥺🫣♥️

When I self play I do cum via clit not vaginally,

Should I try and pop an add or Ritalin before our session to FOCUS. ?

Or do I just need time because of the possible sexual traumas endured?
Any advice before hand?

I do spend time getting ready and feeling good before we meet so I already release a lot of natural endorphins. We do do a lot of foreplay before the muff dive

Anyways help a sister out thanks :) xxx

Recently got back on medication (mydayis). My libido is so high right now i just walk around pulsating. I have a rose so that seems to be helping. When i am by myself I can get things taken care of quickly… minutes and I turn into a waterfall. I naturally have always had a higher sex drive than my partner. What i am experiencing right now is next level. Has anyone experienced this?

CW: SA

I got SA’d about 10 years ago. It was an abusive relationship, he leveraged the fact that he was older than me, had money when I was too young to have a job, lasted a couple years, etc. I also had a super conservative religious upbringing that was basically “wanting sex for women = slutty, wanting sex for men = just nature”. I have a high drive and I love touching in general, not just sexually.

I really struggle with being present in bed in general. I can enjoy it but I cannot for the life of me relax or focus enough to orgasm with another person. I masturbate a lot and it’s easy and fast. I had another relationship for about 7 years and nothing unconsensual happened but I would dissociate then too, because even though I was aroused, I knew it was never going to last long enough for me to get there anyway and he didn’t really care to try things I asked for. So I have basically trained my body that most people don’t care about my pleasure and that it’s shameful and pointless to ask for anything.

I slept with a situationship I very much have feelings for, wasn’t rushed, we had several dates and talked for a few months prior to sex and that was the most present I have EVER been even though I was tipsy. It’s the first time sex hadn’t felt like “doing work” mentally for me, even though I was a bit nervous as that was our first time together. My nerves are not gender related it seems because this was a man. I did not finish then either but I was super close, physically felt really relaxed and present, and I attribute my difficulties to the alcohol involved lol.

The most I have dissociated in recent history, when I realized “oh THIS is what dissociation is” is when I tried to sleep with a woman, was having fun but a bit in my head too much. I had her touch me literally the same way I do it myself and I swear to god I could only feel a fraction of the sensation compared to when I do it even though the motion was identical. We only had one date, so maybe it was just because I didn’t know her well but :( I feel really broken and when I love someone I want to sleep with them a lot and I love to desire and be desired and it is so upsetting how difficult it is for me to not be in my head.

Has anyone tried sex therapy or any other types of therapy for this, has it helped?

I am a bit ashamed of myself now but here it goes... We had not have sex since before my daughter was born. She is 14 months old now, and a joy of our lives, but she is also a lot... I had an easy pregnancy and I had my ADHD diagnose in the third trimester. Medication was ofc off the table. Then I had a very long and traumatic birth experience that caused me a second degree tearing and an even more horrible postpartum depression. I was suicidal, hurt and sleep deprived, so ofc sex was the last thing I though about.

I started with Methylphenidate about 1,5 months after our daughter was born and I don't know if because of this or the hormones, but my libido almost disappeared. I actually often felt repulsed by him, even though he stayed physically in a relatively good shape. I just could not think about him like that, which is very sad because he is a very good dad and a supportive partner. I love him, but we had some very bad fights, and our relationship suffered.

About 4 months ago, when we could have some date nights in Portugal because the grandparents were there to help, I started to desire him again, so I gave him a b.job. We could not have sex there because we shared a room with our daughter. Then we came back and she entered a very bad phase of teething and sleep regression, so this again disappeared.

Now we were again on a holiday were we could not do it again because of me being on a raging period half of the time, then just being exhausted from everything. But coming back I looked at him while holding our baby on his chest, and just marveled how handsome and amazing he was. So maybe something is coming back as my hormones normalize.

Now here is the thing: how can I resurrect the old flame with him, and have somewhat normal sex life again? One of us needs to always cosleep with our baby (she panics badly if she is alone and we did not sleeptrain her) and the grandparents live very far from us, so we cannot just leave her with them. We also do not have a babysitter, but I am considering at least to ask a friend of ours who offered, so we could at least have a date night. I am into some light kinky stuff (spanking, choking, blindfolding, roleplay) and we have a separate bedroom where we could do it while our daughter sleeps, but we would need to interrupt when she wakes up and cries. Ofc I am not good with interruptions because it would be stressful, but we need to try...

Anyway, any recommendations are welcome! We have some sex toys as well that are now abandoned in the bottom drawer and I would be keen to revive them again. 😊

And does it help you concentrate during sex? I find masturbation to be the most enjoyable form of sex because I get to think of a story and focus on that until I orgasm. However with partner sex there’s too much happening and my mind is racing at the speed of light that it’s impossible to orgasm. I’m curious if medication helps with this.

Is this normal? Or do I have a UTI? or both? My bladder doesn't need to be full for me to want to feel like I have to pee. And that sensation also I think becomes more obvious or apparent when I'm bored sitting on a desk in a certain position and then I just get horny. Or is it that I have a sensitive clit? Sorry if this is tmi or/and wrong subreddit. do you guys experience something similar? I haven't been diagnosed with ADHD but I am taking Wellbutrin to help with focus since I struggle with that.

Has anyone else role-played by meeting up with your spouse??
Me and my husband are going to meet up at a hotel this weekend, arriving/driving separately and gonna pretend that we are there having an affair basically. We’ve been together for 15 years this September and we’ve never done anything like this, but I think it’ll be neat. 🤣
I just was wondering if anyone else has done this lol if so, tell me about it
I am a 30 year-old female and he’s a 33 year-old male

I'm relatively inexperienced (haven't had many partners) and mainly, extremely shy about talking about sex, so this is hard to post!

I'm happily married and have always had an unusually high sex drive - honestly, higher than anyone I've ever met. But since starting Elvanse, it's gone absolutely through the roof. I want it constantly and seem to think about it all day, whatever I'm actually supposed to be doing. 😳So pleased to have found Reddit as I see this isn’t too abnormal.

And the thoughts themselves have become much more extreme. NB: nothing illegal of course! But just the crazier side of porn (which I never even used to watch at all) I'm having fantasies about things I'd never previously imagined doing, including being with a woman - something I've never experienced. And I read on here about Only Fans and sex work and that idea drove me wild. The worrying bit is that some of these thoughts don't feel like just fantasies anymore. They feel incredibly compelling, and I genuinely wonder whether I might actually act on some of them. I’m writing this because I haven’t read that anywhere.

I've also heard that sex drive can naturally increase in your 30s, so I'm wondering whether Elvanse + that could be doubling the effect!

My husband is very open-minded, but even if he was up for me experimenting, I'd worry about how I'd feel afterwards. And a lot of it I really couldn’t talk to him or anyone about! So it is probably just an annoying thing like so many things, I’ll just never have the courage to do anyway. But wow, I’m so much more open and less shy than before the meds. And this really haunts me and it is so frustrating that I’m too reserved and shy to do any of it. I just wish I was more free flowing and confident - maybe that’s a good thing! Even just this post took forever to get the courage to do.

Has anyone else experienced this with Elvanse? Did your libido and fantasies become this intense? And if you actually acted on something that previously seemed completely crazy, how did you feel afterwards? That’s the big deal.

Because honestly, I'm starting to wonder where my brain is getting these ideas from… and why I suddenly really want to try them. 😳

I’ve just started concerta XL (18mg) and it’s actually helping me quite a bit. I’m focusing and can study much better. Although all day I now feel like I have worms in my stomach and always feeling the need to go to the toilet even though I don’t. I’m struggling to fall asleep now too. I take concerta at 8am every day yet I always end up unable to sleep until like 2am. It’s okay for now but when I return to school it’s going to bite me in the back.

Now my issue is that now I’ve lost feeling in my genitals. I used to be quite sensitive. Rubbing my clit does nothing now. I already struggle with primary anorgasmia so this is just an addition to my failings as a woman. The prospect of ever orgasming has completely vanished. How can you ever enjoy masturbation or even sex for that matter with no sensation?! I’m devastated. When I use my bullet vibrator it’s just a whole lot of nothing and now for some reason it hurts when it never did before. Even when I wake up early before taking concerta it still feels like nothing when I masturbate. My dosage will continue to increase so I can imagine that the sensation will completely disappear. Some women seem to still be able to orgasm on concerta but of course I got the short end of the stick. I need this medication so I can consider not failing my A-levels and being able to go to university. All I take is b12 and concerta what could possibly be causing all these issues?!

I’m too embarrassed to contact my ADHD psychiatrist because clearly this isn’t a major issue since my life was quite literally falling apart before my diagnosis. I’m just disappointed. What do I do? How do you cope?

I mess up so many times in bed. I physically hurt people because I do things wrong or because I make a sudden movement, I lose focus, I edge people by accident, I get frustrated because of my own incompetence, my mistakes often lead to people not being in the mood anymore, etc.

All of this led, over the years, to a huge lack of self esteem in bed, although I love sex and I have multiple great lovers and FWBs. I'm a fairly confident person in every other aspect of my life, except this one, and I honestly don't know how to manage this. It feels like I have to both focus to do things right, and let go to enjoy the moment. These two things seem incompatible.

Any ideas? Any tips? I just wanna fuck people :(

Yall, send help. For the past like week or so, I have been in such a deep hyperfixation on flicking the bean. Get home from work: ding dong. Wake up earlier than normal: ding dong. And it’s not just a one and done either. It’s HOURS. 7+ easy, if I don’t have any interruptions. Im talking toys dying and immediately going back on the charger while the backup comes into play. I don’t even think I actually orgasm after a while, or they space out significantly.

I don’t get up to use the bathroom. I don’t eat. I don’t drink. I’ve gotten pinched nerves in my neck, cramps in my fingers, hips stuck, and I lost sensation in my thumb almost. It just feels kind of like it fell asleep but not the jolty kind. The blood flow is fine and there’s no major issue with it, so that’s nice. The worst part is that the not eating and drinking and also losing sleep from the hyper focus of the grind (like, I blink and all of a sudden it’s 3am) has seriously pissed off my POTS and I’m in a flare all the time. That, and I’ve Pavlov-ed myself into being horny the second I get home and settle. Like, SUPER horny.

I’ve been prescribed 60mg of Methylphenidate ER CD for a while now, but due to various reasons (ADHD and having my routine constantly thrown off due to stupid shit like a random 4 day hospital stay and a vacation) this is the first time in a LOOOONNGGG time that I’ve taken it consistently for any decent period of time. I can’t tell if this is the med and I need to decrease or not. My impulse control is phenomenal, but I have a hard time focusing and organizing my thoughts at work and on the daily. On the other side I haven’t had a major fixation in quite a while so I was due to obsess with something soon.

So I have no idea what to do. It’s nice saving money on groceries and losing weight from not eating, but I can’t get ANYTHING done. Help?

Edit for clarification: I’m not ignoring hunger or thirst to polish the pearl. I had surgery back in April and ever since I’m not hungry or thirsty very often.

Update: it was a brief hyperfixation yall. Cut it cold turkey for about 72 hours and was back to normal lol.

Ok, ladies - help me out. I’ve always been comfortable in my skin and I enjoy sex, intimacy, play, all of it - a lot. So, I’m curious. I just started 20mg XR and holy shit. I have an insatiable craving and need for the physical and the release. I’ve killed my house supply of batteries and I’m tempted to start reaching back into the blocked area of my phone. Lots of chads. Lots of Kyle’s.

Hi! Mainly found this subreddit by accident but given that I'm also active in r/AutismInWomen and such wanted to see if this was a common experience for some of us.

Like most of us here when hitting puberty, I had instinctive desires to seek out men, but I didn't have the language to fully articulate it until a friend of mine sent me a book about gender and sexuality in high school, so I was a late bloomer, needless to say. I had the feelings, but not the words.

Well, it wasn't until several years later that I got my first sex toys, since I was still living with my parents at the time, so I wanted to be descrete about it. I discovered that I could orgasm to no end when I was by myself, so when I had an opportunity to hook up with this amazing hot dude, I was surprised to find that although I could get him to come, I just couldn't get into it unless I did it myself. I thought it could be related to performance anxiety, but I'm not sure.

I tried again a few years later, this time with a woman who was also LGBTQIA+ like me, but it felt oddly strange, like two friends trying to have a romantic relationship, and neither of us could get the other to orgasm. So yeah, I decided that I might as well be single for the rest of my life, especially since I easily get overstimulated if I'm forced to socialise a lot or make sure my partner is comfortable. I'd rather body-double/parallel play, or have my partner and I live in two different apartment munits, either on the same floor or different floors, so that way we each have our own space and can see each other whenever we have the spoons for it.

So, what say ye? I'm curious to hear from those who are AuDHD, but ADHD folx are also welcome to comment!

take one anyway bc, better safe than sorry or skip?

I don’t know why but I’m horny than normal . I’m 40 and I’m seeing this since couple of months . This is not the main issue but I need porn to get off . And I need the perfect scenes or the kind I like and I’m scrolling for hours together where my life is affected . I’m not addicted to porn but since I’m horny I am watching porn . Sex with my husband is ok , we are going through some issues and hence that’s bland .
One of the major life change Is that I’m taking a break from my work for a year ( for various reasons ) , I am excited since I badly needed this , I was very good at my work but it was consuming my whole life . I always think about the fun
Projects il be doing when on break and I will get some time to concentrate on the house work as well. Regarding meds , I was on vyanese 60 but now on 30 since I’m planning to stop it cos we are planning to conceive ,so I feel the work break also has come at the right time .
BUT I don’t know what is wrong with me . Im
Burnt out for sure cos of work , it’s been a month like this , my sleep is messed up, I have no energy and the sex is boring . Like when I’m making out with my husband , I think of all the steamy scenarios with him to get me in the mood since he likes the simple , planned , at night , missionary sex . Because of my imagination I’m able to get in the mood and it’s good but I am horny so much and I only like they foreplay part in porn and not anything crazy so I keep looking for videos for hours . Talking To my Husband about our sex life is a ongoing process , he is trying from
His side but it won’t be a drastic change .
I feel I’m using masturbation as an escape but I don’t know from what . The guilt after that is so so bad and I am done with this shit

I just am not, it feels like a chore and a performance that I just want to be overs it’s not that I don’t enjoy it, I do. My partner does everything that women complain about men not doing.
But I find myself cringing when he even starts to get flirty. We have kids so basically only have weekends open to have sex so it feels like this scheduled time where we have to do all these extremely hot and kinky things that he is craving and missing and stuff and I JUST DONT WANT TO . What’s wrong with me 😭
I was on adderall and Zoloft for almost 2 years , stopped the Zoloft A couple months ago and nothing changed.
There’s a lot more context to this … but it’s Friday night and kids are asleep and I just want to eat my weight in ice cream and turn myself off completely . But I’m gonna shower and shave 😭☠️

I’m a demisexual woman with ADHD and I’m also barely social, so my sexual/romantic experiences are… limited 😅.

At this point it’s also been years since anything happened.

Lately, I’ve been thinking that, out of pure boredom, it would actually be nice to pursue a connection with another human being this summer and maybe finally get some.

The issue is: how do you handle the rustiness?

And I mean rustiness in every aspect: signaling interest, flirting, reading vibes, kissing AND all the things that follow after that (I could use a step by step guide!).

ADHD makes this even weirder because I seem to function in extremes socially.

I either become so disinterested in people that I barely even notice they exist around me, OR I hyperfocus on everyone in the room and mentally evaluate and cross off my mental list every potential person I could approach.

There’s basically no normal middle ground.

I know I can pursue people (with success) IF they catch my eye, but I’m anxious my eye won’t even get caught anymore ( i mean I won't find anyone attractive IRL) because I’ve been so disinterested for so long. 💀

Has anyone else gone through this weird phase after years of no intimacy/social isolation/ADHD avoidance? How did you ease yourself back into it without feeling painfully awkward or alien?

I’m currently in a long-distance relationship, and while my partner and I have a healthy sexual connection, I definitely crave physical touch and intimacy more than he does. Physical touch is really important to me, so the distance has been especially hard.

We still stay intimate and playful from afar, but because of the distance, I find myself masturbating pretty often and resort to watching our own clips because I miss him so much and crave that sense of closeness.

The thing that’s actually bothering me isn’t really the masturbation itself, since I’m generally sexually open and don’t feel ashamed of sexuality. It’s that I’m starting to notice I may be using it as a way to cope with loneliness, anxiety, boredom, or emotional discomfort. Sometimes it feels less like desire and more like I’m trying to soothe myself or escape uncomfortable feelings.

I don’t get into relationships easily, but when I do, I become deeply attached and emotionally invested, so the distance has amplified a lot for me.

I want to feel more grounded and present in my actual daily life instead of constantly reaching for fantasy, sexual release, or anything that makes me feel temporarily closer to him.

Has anyone in long distance or with a high libido experienced this? How do you separate genuine desire from using sex/masturbation as emotional regulation or comfort?