r/AutismInWomen Sep 09 '24

Mod Post How Reddit Works: Sitewide Rules, Mods vs Admins, and other Important Info & Links

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Reposted to make title clearer since titles cannot be edited on Reddit.

Reminder: DO NOT POST OR COMMENT CALLOUTS FOR OTHER SUBREDDITS OR USERS. This breaks Rule 1 of Reddit Rules and we cannot allow subreddit callouts per Rule 3 of Reddit’s Mod Code of Conduct. No matter how we feel about these rules, we are all still bound to follow them. Reddit Admins can and do punish mods and users equally for sitewide rule infractions aka violating Reddit Content Policy.

Scroll down for links to Reddit Rules, the admin definition of brigading, Mod Code of Conduct, and the Redditor Help Center.


It has come to our attention that outside of the basics (voting, how to report, posting/commenting), many people are still in the dark as to how exactly Reddit works.

Firstly, moderators, like us, only have power (a limited scope at that) and jurisdiction over the subreddits we mod and what happens on them. We cannot do anything about what happens outside of here. We don’t have a direct line of access to Reddit Admins, who control and oversee the site as a whole. In fact, we can only do the same things y’all can do in trying to get their attention on things: report it and wait. We, like you, often don’t get responses from admins regarding their decisions or even if they have viewed any reports we send in. We are the same in that capacity. Subreddit bans only prevent people from posting and commenting on the subreddit they were banned in for however long the ban is for. You can still vote in and view subreddits you are banned in. We can’t even see who reports what.

Also, if you don't report it, we don't see it. This subreddit is large. Please report things that you think break our rules, Reddit Rules, or you just want us to look at because it's iffy.

Admins are like gods of Reddit. They oversee all; they can see who votes what, who views what, who reports what, everything. They can suspend people from the website as a whole which prohibits someone from posting, commenting, and even voting on the entirety of Reddit for however long said suspension lasts. They can even suspend specific IP addresses from users who keep making accounts and breaking Reddit sitewide rules.

Here’s an analogy: Reddit Admins are the Roman Gods and we moderators are like members of the Roman Senate or mayors of towns. Members of the Roman Senate don’t have a direct link or direct way to communicate to the Roman Gods; they have to make offerings and prayers just like everyone else to try to catch their attention. It’s the same here. All we mods can do is make reports just like you all and hope someone looks at it. We can do nothing about what happens to you outside of Rome (the subreddit). That’s up to the admins.

We are bound by the Reddit Mod Code of Conduct to nip any activity that breaks, or could be interpreted as breaking, Reddit’s site-wide rules in the bud. Due to this subreddit having been previously in trouble with admins because of the founder not doing these things and getting booted and admin putting us 3 in place as new mods over a year ago with the express statement of “we will be watching you closely”, we really don’t take any chances when it comes to people breaking Content Policy. We just can’t risk it because that means we could be actioned and the subreddit could be sanctioned or shut down. We prioritize the community as a whole over any personal feelings we or others might have; that’s just how it has to work for this community to thrive and survive.

The proper course of action for when something happens to you or you see something that breaks sitewide rules is to report it to the admins via www.reddit.com/report or via the offending content itself and wait. Trying to call others out publicly technically breaks Reddit Rules under the harassment rule no matter the reason, and like we said above, we can’t allow it due to the ramifications it can have on the subreddit as a whole even if we personally agree what happened was messed up and the other person should be held accountable in some way.

Moreover, do not create or use an alt account to participate in a subreddit you have been banned in on another account. Reddit tracks this and views it as ban evasion which is prohibited as it is community interference (you were banned which means they don’t want you participating there for whatever reason is outlined in your ban message). You should contact the mods on the account you were banned on to see if you can get unbanned by demonstrating accountability and understanding of how you broke the rules and a willingness to follow the rules.

---- Relevant Links ----

Reddit Rules: https://redditinc.com/policies/reddit-rules

What even IS brigading? (Rule 2 of Reddit Rules): https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/cmp9uy/comment/ew4lpf0/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Mod Code of Conduct, so you all are aware of the rules we as mods have to follow as well: https://www.redditinc.com/policies/moderator-code-of-conduct

Redditor Help Center for any further questions: https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/p/redditor_help_center

--- Note ---

This post was made in response to the subreddit growing and us becoming more aware of the fact many people do not know these things and just assume moderators are also Admins of Reddit as a whole or have way more power than we actually do. We don’t. In the eyes of Admin, we are basically volunteer clean-up crew and are the same level of importance as a regular user on Reddit. We don’t get paid, we don’t get any extra benefits or anything either (as it should be imo, mod out of love for the community not because of anything else). Admins are employees of Reddit that get paid for working and only work on the clock then go do whatever they want off it. We moderate on and off all day; in between our actual jobs, chores, and life responsibilities. It is impossible for us to be online all the time and to be constantly scrolling the subreddit. I hope this helps clear some things up for anyone confused as to what the differences are between mods and Admins and provides people with a way to research more about how Reddit works on their own as well.

If you have any questions or anything you're still confused about please modmail us via the "message the mods" button on the sidebar and someone will answer it when they can.


r/AutismInWomen Sep 09 '24

Mod Post Internet Safety: Reporting Creepy DMs and Changing your User Settings to prevent unsolicited messages

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It has come to our attention that there is an uptick of predatory lurkers sending private messages to members of this subreddit and people that participate here. Unfortunately, due to the fact we are moderators and not Reddit Admins, there is pretty much nothing we can do to stop it other than give you information and advice for how to report it and prevent it yourselves.

Most importantly, you should immediately block people who message you strange, creepy, or uncomfortable things and report them via www.reddit.com/report or via the DM itself. If you report via the web link, all you have to do is copy and paste the DM link as the Reddit Admins can see everything that happens on the site and have power and jurisdiction over everyone with an account on Reddit. We as subreddit moderators only have the power to ban people from the subreddit and banning them does not prevent them from being able to message people who participate here.

To report via the Chat itself: On PC/desktop, when you mouse over the chat message(s) there is a flag option. Click that and follow the reporting procedure. On the app, tap and hold on the message(s) to bring up the report option. After you report, immediately block the person messaging you. You can block them straight from their profile.

To report via the Message Inbox: On mobile, tap the 3 dots (ellipses) on the side of the message thread. There you can copy the link and report the whole message inbox thread via www.reddit.com/report. You can also report specific messages by going into the message thread and tapping and holding the specific message you want to report to see the option come up. On PC, you can just click the “Report” option that shows under each message in the thread. After you report, immediately block the person messaging you. You can block them straight from their profile.

Recommended: It is recommended that everyone that is a participating member here turn off the ability for other users to send them chats and message requests. You will still be able to send chat requests and message requests to others whose settings allow them. Other people that you have not whitelisted will not be able to send them to you. You can only whitelist people via PC/desktop but people who you already have open chats and messages with will be automatically whitelisted.

Turning off chats/message requests on PC: Click your avatar on the top right. From there, go to the settings option. Once there, go to the Privacy tab. First, slide the “Allow People to Follow You” button to be in the “Off” position where it is over to the left side otherwise people will be able to literally stalk you on Reddit. Next, click on “Who can send you inbox messages” and change it to “People I choose”. You can whitelist people who you want to allow to send you messages. This just stops randoms from being able to message you via the message inbox. Then, click on “Allow chat requests from” and change that to “Nobody”. Again, the whitelisted folks from before will still be able to chat with you or people who you already have an open chat with. I also recommend you switch off everything under the “Discoverability” section as people will also be able to search up your account directly unless you turn it off. Mine is off because I don’t see any non-weird reason why someone would want to search up my account.

Turning off chats/messages on the app: Tap on your avatar on the top right then tap on “Settings” shown at the bottom. From there, tap on your account name to go to the account settings. Scroll down until you see the “Safety” section. Tap on “Chat and messaging permissions”. Change both “Chat Requests” and “Direct Messages” to Nobody. You will still be able to message people who you already have open messages with and those whose settings allow for it; other people just won’t be able to message you unless you message them first. I also recommend you slide the “Allow people to follow you” option into the off position where the large white circle is to the left. Under privacy, I also recommend you swipe the “show up in search results” one to the off position as well. You can also customize your ad settings on this page as well to your preference.

That’s it. As a reminder, if someone messages you unsolicited, they are most likely seeking something from you other than genuine friendship and you should probably not respond. At the very least, go check out their Reddit profile and history. If it’s empty, block them. They are likely a troll, a creep, or someone with bad intent. Someone who genuinely wants to connect with you and be friends will have a history on Reddit that shows that they are a nice person. They will have comments on this subreddit and probably some other autism subreddits too. Their history will show them interacting with others on Reddit in good faith making genuine bids for human connection. If someone’s history indicates them trolling and getting into a lot of online conflicts, they are probably not someone you want to be talking to as they will, at the very least, be intensely draining to talk to, and at worst, be trolling and harassing you.


r/AutismInWomen 1h ago

General Discussion/Question I wish I didn't have to do anything.

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I don't want to work and I don't want to talk to people or be obligated to them. I don't want to be in others lives or have them in mine. I just want to be at home, reading, writing stories, drawing, musicing, dancing, cooking, gardening or walking outside, observing the world as a ghost on the sidelines, people watching or bird watching. I need just a little bit of money to eat and have a safe place to sleep and a little more for occassionally spending on my dirt cheap hobbies and I can live like that forever. I do feel I am missing out on something I don't quite understand by wanting to completely disengage from people, but people don't like me and I want to be out of their way. So yeah, I just want to be a bum I guess.


r/AutismInWomen 4h ago

General Discussion/Question Opinions on this?

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Saw this over on r/nonpoliticaltwitter (I think), and it just really hit wrong. I'm aware it might be for when you're completely sure that your friend doesn't care, but seeing the comments makes me think a lot of people have dealt with people who potentially had autism. Not all, but yes.

The comments were also filled with people really hurting over this.

"If you're this kind of friend, I don't want you in my life/you're a piece of shit/you don't gaf about your friends/you owe your friends friendship" etc.

Yet, I didn't see a single comment about "I mean, yeah.. that could be an autistic trait. It's not maliciously meant, we truly just don't have a lot of energy to spare, considering work and invidiual lives"

Maybe I'm misunderstanding? What are some of your perspectives on this?


r/AutismInWomen 17h ago

General Discussion/Question I fractured my wrist and am shocked at the outpouring of strangers that offer support when they see my cast. Yet my wrist doesn’t hurt, and I wish my challenges with autism, depression ADHD and anxiety were seen with the same compassion.

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It’s really eye opening to know that my day today challenges are dismissed and made fun of and yet this fractured wrist which really doesn’t hurt is causing people to want to help me and be there for me in a way I’ve never experienced before. Does anyone else feel this way too?


r/AutismInWomen 10h ago

General Discussion/Question When I’m excited to say something and people just give a “um ok” kind of response

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I don’t understand why this happens to me so much. It happens with both family and other people I know. I’ll say something that seems like a completely normal thing to say and it appears to contribute to the conversation, and they will just kind of give me a blank stare and give an extremely short response or just look at me and not say anything at all, even when they are being perfectly friendly to everyone else.

For example, I’ll be at a family gathering and the table will be discussing a new study that came out, and I’ll say “oh yeah I learned about this in one of my classes. We learned that…etc etc” and then the whole family will just stare at me and not respond or give a very cold response and continue to talk to each other. Like what?😭 what I said seemed completely normal and on topic. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. And then my family complains that I’m too shy and don’t talk enough🙄


r/AutismInWomen 2h ago

Support Needed (Kind Advice and Commiseration) I feel like I can tell I'm making the wrong dialogue choices as I make them

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Basically the title. I feel mortified when I say something in a conversation that doesn't land well, but I have the mentality of "well it's left my mouth now, so can't be helped."

It does give me crippling anxiety that I'm pushing my friends away. Not sure what to do.


r/AutismInWomen 19h ago

Special Interest Does anyone else think that scrubs are the perfect outfit?

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They are ​flattering without being skin-tight.

They feel smooth, lightweight, and breathable.

They have 5 large pockets.

T​he design allows for freedom of movement.

The material is cooling and wicks away sweat.

And they're just cute! 😭 I swear I'd buy 7 pairs and wear scrubs everyday if I could​. ​Would it be weird to wear them even though I don't work in medical care? 😅​


r/AutismInWomen 8h ago

Potentially Triggering Content (Discussion Welcome) DAE really struggle with doctors not treating them?

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Doctors really don't seem to like me and throughout my life I've been refused treatment or had treatment changed for some really weird stuff.

When I was 8 I had these really horrible stomach aches that would leave me curled up and screaming in pain - the doctor kept telling my mother I was faking it (it was actually abuse going on at home & if they'd bothered to check or even speak to me before calling me a liar 🤡)

But it's been my entire life. I have really bad asthma, last year the doctors took away my inhaler and made me have a different one. The different one is horrible & my asthma has been getting so bad, now it wakes me up at night bc *I can't breathe*. Will they give my old inhaler back though? No, this one is "better" apparently even though I keep saying its not.

My lungs aren't in great condition and I get pneumonia a couple of times a year. I dont get fevers & it's always a fight to get the pneumonia treated bc "you don't have a fever". Last time they refused to treat the pneumonia I ended up in hospital. They also refuse to give me the pneumonia vaccine or even do a chest xray to see if the worsening asthma is due to damage from regular pneumonia. I spend weeks unbelievably sick until I can convince somebody to just give me some antibiotics bc im sure heavy drug users aren't scamming a&e out of fucking penicillin.

I had horrible hyperemesis during pregnancy. I lost teeth and have permanent damage to my throat, teeth and stomach. Throwing up 15+ times a day and in the hospital constantly with dehydration. Wouldn't even prescribe me anti nausea medication. I was choking on my own puke during labour bc they wouldn't give me any anti nauseas. My friend had mild hyperemesis and got the full panel of antinausea & monitoring (our daughters are 11 days apart) before and after birth. I was basically told to shut up and cope.

I have so many more bc doctors genuinely refuse to treat me. I dont have a history of drug addiction or anything that can make me understand why I get totally ignored. My main one is I had some investigations done for an autoimmune condition about 4 months ago. They've confirmed there is something and my hip joints are basically crumbling.

That's it. They won't do anything else. I'm not being sent to any departments, they won't do any more testing to see what it is, I cant even get someone to look at the hip that keeps dislocating. I dont understand why I can't get any medical care.


r/AutismInWomen 3h ago

Seeking Advice I am going INSANE, does anyone else here find that tshirt collars will just randomly have one BIT on them somewhere that feels weirdly sharp and itchy but there's nothing there?! It's really consistent with certain tshirts for me. How do I get rid of the annoying itchy bit?!

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It's not always in the same spot so it's not entirely in my head or anything but each tshirt will always have the same bit in the same spot when I wear that tshirt, so like one is always itchy just to the right of the center point of the collar, the one I'm wearing now has it on both the left and right, some are further up near the shoulder seam.

I don't know what in the fresh hell it is. I can feel it when I run my fingers over it sometimes but I can't see anything!! I don't know how to get rid of it!!!

It's driving me nuts, I have to change out of my tshirts multiple times on particularly bad sensory days to one that doesn't have it but I'm wearing those tshirts out way faster. The worst part is that I don't always know it's there when I try them on if it's in store, as they only become apparant after a few minutes of moving around and existing in them.

Going insane someone help me with any advice on ways to relieve this. I'm wondering if it's like when clothes go bobbly and maybe I can just use a razor to shave the edges or a nail file or something, ANYTHING?!


r/AutismInWomen 1h ago

Celebration Today I asked for my first adjustment!

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I was diagnosed two weeks ago a AuDHD at the ripe, old age of 41. There's been a whole range of emotions attached to it which I am so far from processing but, I digress.

Today, for the first time since my diagnosis, I deployed the "I'm autistic" line at my GP surgery. The receptionist had informed me that their new system means you can't book appointments in advance and everyone has to enter the Hunger Games at 8am each morning to fight over same day appointments. So, I told her that I'm autistic, and unpredictable appointments and same day plans are difficult for me and what would my next steps be in booking an appointment. Long story short, I now have an appointment in advance that works for me.

But the wildest thing here is that I can just say it? I can just say "I'm autistic and this thing creates a barrier for me" and have that not be met with the labels I've been given my whole life: difficult, unwilling, rigid.

In the past when I've explained this, I've been told stuff like "everyone needs to be flexible" or asking for clarification has been met with me being called difficult. But, now I seem to have unlocked some sort of Disabled DLC where people respond with helpfulness to the same exact issues I've always had and have always expressed?? Wild.


r/AutismInWomen 5h ago

General Discussion/Question Aren't group projects ableist?

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Hear me out- I specifically mean when teachers/profs expect you to just go up to people and ask if you can team up with them and then leave you to your own decides- if they don't let you join or contribute, then you can't complete the task at all. And we all know that in a room of strangers, the autistic person is unlikely to be anyone's pick.

To me it's always felt like a way to legally weed out the autistic/anxious/bullied students. Multiple times I had to beg people to let me join them so I can do the group project and complete the course. Last year I had to drop a course because I couldn't find willing group partners and the prof didn't give a frick. All profs would have to do and point at a random group and say "alright, [name] is joining you guys" but they NEVER do it. Almost like it's intentional...


r/AutismInWomen 5h ago

General Discussion/Question Anyone else find it hard to make male friends?

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I tried looking through other Reddit posts to see if anyone has talked about this, but all I can find is vice versa: ND women/autistic women finding it easier to make friends with men more than other women. For me, I’ve always struggled to find male friends, albeit I’m bad at making friends in general. When I was younger there was a few boys in daycare I’d occasionally play with/talk to, but especially once I got to elementary school I could tell boys were infinitely harder to make friends with. I could probably name 3 guys I talked to throughout middle and high school, and I wouldn’t even consider them friends. For the longest time, men in general have made me slightly to moderately uncomfortable. I’ve never had any traumatic experiences either. I just don’t know how to talk to them, how to interact, and the only time I (very occasionally) do, it’s to flirt, and then find out they’re a major red flag. It’s affecting my experience with my online friend group, where I really don’t wanna hang out with the guys without the girls around. Even having more guys than girls slightly irks me. Again, I know a lot of ND women have talked about it being easier around men, but in my experience they either don’t wanna talk to girls or only wanna flirt. And half of them act so cold or mean as a way of “joking” but I prefer the lightheartedness that my girl friends have. Maybe I’m just super awkward cause I’ve witnessed so many girls have great platonic relationships with guys and I really wish I could naturally befriend guys like that. (And obviously this all depends on the individual)


r/AutismInWomen 5h ago

General Discussion/Question is this a safe space to say i struggle to find a puzzle to do because of some weird visual discomfort i have

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i know it may sound ridiculous, but i have this thing with certain illustrations where they make me feel, claustrophobic? i don’t even know if that’s the right word.
it also happens with diamond painting, paint by numbers etc. there are so many BEAUTIFUL illustrations that i simply can’t bring myself to do because something about them feels wrong to me. especially when they’re very flat, like a simple cartoon or a non realistic illustration. it’s almost like i need the image to have a certain amount of depth or realism for me to go “yes this feels okay.”
and it’s not just those illustrations either. closed rooms can give me the same feeling even if they’re realistic, and artwork, which is especially annoying because i actually love it. i just can’t explain why some images give me this weird uncomfortable feeling.
i feel much more comfortable with photographs, countryside scenes, animals… things like that. it’s such a shame because there are so many gorgeous puzzles i’d love to do, but if the picture doesn’t feel okay to me i just can’t do it.
like it’s not about disliking the picture at all bc i actually really love some of them. i just don’t like the feeling the image gives me. (or rather lack of “safe” feeling) because when ive told my friends they just say “oh your probably just don’t like it enough to buy it”
anyway, i recently bought a haruyo morita painting puzzle, which i normally wouldn’t choose because of all of this, but it’s absolutely gorgeous and i wanted to try stepping out of my comfort zone


r/AutismInWomen 20h ago

Support Needed (Kind Advice and Commiseration) The feeling that the world is too cruel for you?

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Or is too harsh, or not made for a person like you? Is this an autism thing? I’m recently diagnosed. But I have this strong sense of justice and am constantly told I am “too sensitive”. I am kind of at the point now where I have no one in my life, except for my cats. Quite literally have become a cat lady I suppose.

I’m either too much, too sensitive, care too much, get upset too much. On and on and on. From friends, family, partners. Things people enjoy at first, until they don’t. Kind of sick of it, so I’ve just turned inward. Which comes off as me being serious and introverted. Neither of which is the truth.

I just don’t trust people and feel like this world is not meant for me. I am so so lonely though. But every time I open myself up, it ends up with “you’re too ___”.


r/AutismInWomen 8h ago

Media (Books, Music, Art, Etc) MY NEW FIDGET

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I just wanted to share it because it makes me excited


r/AutismInWomen 15h ago

Special Interest Customized press-on nails done by me for school tomorrow (^ー^)

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I i'm going back to school tomorrow. And despite how I'm in a 7 year special education program, I decided to treat myself to glamorize myself since its my 5th year being in highschool, and also based on the fact that my aunt decided to give me the French tip press-ons nails she got from Shien as well. I decided to customize it with my own gel polish that I got for my birthday three months ago, but Im also scared of my dad since he's always awake first days of school and he'll make me stay to take them off which is my fear (side note for anyone who ask, im 18 y/o adult woman.) So yeah, here it is and Im happy of how it turned out 😊


r/AutismInWomen 17h ago

Seeking Advice Why do people get so angry over clarifying questions?

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Does anyone else have this experience when communicating with neurotypical people? I'm starting to feel very frustrated because even though I put a great deal of effort into how I phrase things, somehow it still comes off like I'm being argumentative or telling them they're wrong and then they get annoyed.

Here's an example:

I have two cats, both of which are being treated for FIP. Junie is 2/3 of the way through the 84 day treatment but my other cat, Cora, is only a few days in. Junie is stable on her meds but Cora is just starting and we're having a lot of issues.

I'm in two groups that help people with FIP cats and I feel like the people running these groups are all so sick of me. Cora is already getting lumps under her skin from the medication injections, so I messaged the group I got the meds from to ask if anyone else has had issues with this batch.

They got kind of defensive and pretty much just told me I was doing the injections wrong. I'm not but whatever. I then asked if the lumps can cause ongoing pain.

They just said a lump is fluid and it will dissipate. Not only did that not answer my question, but it confused me, so I asked if by "fluid" do they mean the medication, or literally fluid (like edema), because I'd find it concerning for the medication to take weeks to dissipate.

In response, she got annoyed with me and said that nothing she says will be right and I should ask my other group. I never said she was wrong! I was just trying to understand what she meant. Why are people like this?

Sometimes people are just so vague and I have to ask clarifying questions so that I can understand exactly what they mean. Maybe they expect me to read between the lines, but I don't know how to do that and it clearly irritates them.

I'd love to hear from others who have this problem. What do you do about it? How can I understand what people are telling me when they're frustratingly vague and don't actually answer my question half the time?

In social situations, I just don't bother. But this is about saving my cats from a deadly virus and I need to make sure I understand but everyone gets so angry all the time and I need help understanding why.


r/AutismInWomen 28m ago

General Discussion/Question The bliss of PTO and the dread of returning

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The last few days I've been off work and it's incredible what that time has done to my mental health. My passive ideations and meltdowns are just completely gone. My maladaptive daydreaming has been transformed into actual creativity. I forgot what it was like to be happy.

Being able to wake up when I want and not do anything I don't feel comfortable doing? To not be forced to speak to anyone or be perceived by anyone? Just in my apartment peacefully playing video games, doing artwork, writing, and eating my favorite snacks. This is my heaven.

If only there were a way to live like this in perpetuity but there are bills to be paid and money to be made and I'll have to willingly return to mental hell. I'm trying my best to just live in the moment and not think about it, but it's difficult to think that in a week, this will all be over and I'll once again have to submit to misery.


r/AutismInWomen 13h ago

Seeking Advice Has anyone in the U.S. quit their job in this market?

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How’s it going? I work in healthcare and there’s a ton of abuse and death. I think I’m getting PTSD.


r/AutismInWomen 5h ago

General Discussion/Question Anyone else who’s mood gets even worse when someone else points out their bad mood?

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an experience i am going through as i’m typing this out.

it annoys me so badly when people point it out, because nobody points it out like they do with me when others at my office are in a bad mood. i feel like i’m expected to always be happy and it annoys me severely 😭

so i’m genuinely wondering if anyone else has experienced / is experiencing this?


r/AutismInWomen 6h ago

Seeking Advice Left my job and now I’m worried it was the only thing holding me together.

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I’m very lucky that my spouse is able to support both of us comfortably so I could leave my job after feeling completely burnt out for about a year and a half now. It’s been a few days since my contract ended, two full months since I went part time though. I expected to feel relieved but I actually feel a lot worse. I’m worried putting myself together each day, forcing myself to do my job and act normal, was the only thing keeping me together. I know it wasn’t realistic to expect myself to go on that way for much longer - I could feel a breakdown just around the corner at any time and I was afraid it would happen in a very public setting due to the nature of my work.

I’ve been doing what I must to take care of my pets and feed myself. I spend most days doing puzzles online one after the other. I have been exercising, drinking enough water, basically following conventional advice for how to recover. I don’t feel better, I don’t think I feel anything at all most of the time. I guess I’m curious if anyone’s been through this? And how long it takes to reverse autistic burnout? I feel like an idiot talking about this to anyone in my daily life because this time to myself is such a privilege and I can’t even manage to be happy about it.


r/AutismInWomen 23h ago

General Discussion/Question Can anyone else play the same repetitive game over and over for hours?

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I play Overcooked 2 on my Switch everyday for hours. If I'm watching tv, drinking coffee, going to bed... The same repetitive game.

I see the same type of behaviour in other things in my life. I love routine and can do the most mundane, repetitive hands on things without getting bored. I don't need motivation or music or anything.

The things I find I can't jive with are watching tv, reading books, listening to music/podcasts. I can't pay attention and I'm super bored.

So I guess I need things in my life that I physically am doing. And certain video games work and some don't. I get bored with dialogue.

Just a discussion... I find I'm strange that I play this game over and over, I wish I had interest in something more interesting...

Edit:

I just want to say everyone here is amazing! Thank you for responding, just makes me feel not so alone. I've been diagnosed with AuDHD just 3 days ago and I'm analyzing things differently now. Thank you everyone and have fun gaming!!


r/AutismInWomen 3h ago

General Discussion/Question Can anyone else relate to struggling with the guilt of not 'being out there' more? A thought ramble

Upvotes

I was diagnosed 2 years ago aged 35 and I'm still realising things about myself and all that's not immediately obvious in my daily experience (how slow I am to process these things despite being classically 'smart' by society's standards is another topic altogether). I've been thinking about how with the challenges we all deal with in this largely neurotypical society, socialising isn't a neutral activity. Getting ready, travelling somewhere, sitting properly, concentrating on conversation, facial expression, interpretation, managing noise and stimulation plus lots more besides and then recovering afterwards is a huge physiological and cognitive load.

Feels like there's also something quite difficult about not knowing whether I'm avoiding something because I'm autistic or because I'm genuinely physically unable to tolerate it. Like - I think about trying something out, maybe a choir? but I don't go because I fear feeling 'cast out'... is that from a real possibility, or because of my own exhaustion? Probably both.

A lot of me wants deep connection, I just don't want the demands of conventional socialising. I think I'm probably shying from allowing myself to be me in all my autistic glory in front of others who may not 'get' me.

I'm trying to learn that I don't need to earn the right to be me by having been 'social enough' first.


r/AutismInWomen 19h ago

General Discussion/Question Olfactory Sensory Seeking

Upvotes

I feel disgusting even anonymously saying this.

I think olfactory sensory seeking is highly stigmatized and maybe the way I say this will make it more so… hopefully not

But I feel disgusting because I constantly am obsessed with smelling things that are highly potent.

Not candles. Not good smells. “BAD” smells.

Even as a little girl I would always HUFF my feet (sorry I’m dying laughing rn)

And I still have this an adult.

Recently, I’ve been really into the smell of my sweaty headphones. I keep huffing it when no one looks

The ISSUE is that it’s gotten to the point where I actually really enjoy not showering or really taking care of myself because I fucking love TO STINK OK????

It grounds me. It feels great. Especially in public where I can’t regulate myself with stim toys etc due to stigma

So just having an aroma of stink actually regulates me and makes me feel good.

I know… I know… I’m an animal

It’s so embarassing to admit. Like I’ll even smell my hands or fingers all the time discretely in public just to get myself to calm down

….

Does anyone else have this pls tell me you do

I love to shower but I put it off depending on how stressed I am