I met my Judases.

My three headed devil.

They are quite crafty.

But I knew.

I allowed for it.

For I needed to die…

To resurrect.

It IS Judgement Day.

For I am the black mirror.

I reveal back to yourself all that you have become.

You have punished me for it.

But you will soon see.

Who is within the mirror?

Are they worth saving?

The choice is YOURS.

No one else’s.

Fools.

There are children…

They are crying…

They are screaming…

I hear them screaming…

They won’t stop…

Why won’t anyone hear them??…

It is so loud…………………………….

The time for ignorance is about over.

Make your decision now.

I’ve come to collect.

😈

Like ok maybe that is what's happening. In my mind I am jumping from conclusion to conclusion and that is like a football being passed from player to player. Like at one point I am like this is the conclusion and at the other point I am at a different conclusion. Like I am being juggled in my mind like a football. So what is going on , what's the goal , is it just happening for the sake of evilness or wickedness. Like why is this phenomenon happening. What's the plan of god.

If I did, then more people would take care of me like they did before, but now they think I’m needy and just want handouts, so i don’t know if I deserve living anymore

Duniya mein kisi ke paas bhi power, hukumat, authority, maal, izzat ya asar-o-rasookh apni zaati milkiyat mein nahi. Jo kuch kisi ko mila hai, Allah hi ke ikhtiyar aur mashiyyat se mila hai.

Allah farmata hai:
“Tu jis ko chahta hai hukumat deta hai aur jis se chahta hai hukumat cheen leta hai. Tu jis ko chahta hai izzat deta hai aur jis ko chahta hai zillat deta hai. Saari bhalai Tere hi haath mein hai. Beshak Tu har cheez par Qadir hai.” ( Sura Aal e Imran: Ayah 26)

Is liye duniya ki koi hukumat Allah ke ikhtiyar se bahar nahi.

Aaj koi hukmaran hai, kal nahi.

Aaj koi saltanat taqatwar hai, kal kamzor ho sakti hai.

Aaj koi qaum buland hai, kal uski jagah doosri qaum aa sakti hai.

Power ka milna bhi Allah ki taraf se hai aur power ka chhin jaana bhi Allah ke ikhtiyar mein hai.

Lekin iska matlab yeh nahi ke jis ko Allah ne hukumat di hai woh zaroor Allah ka pasandeeda hai. Hukumat kabhi ne’mat hoti hai, kabhi imtihan, aur kabhi kisi ke liye mohlat ya azmaish. Allah hi sab se behtar jaanta hai ke kis shakhs ya qaum ke saath kya hikmat hai.

Isi tarah izzat aur zillat bhi Allah ke haath mein hain.

Kabhi Allah kisi momin ko duniya mein tangi, kamzori, bimari, maal ki kami, job ka masla, business ka nuqsan, ghar ke masail ya kisi aur mushkil ke zariye azmata hai. Aur kabhi koi mushkil insaan ke apne gunahon ka nateeja ya tanbeeh bhi ho sakti hai.

Lekin hum kisi specific mushkil ko yaqini taur par Allah ki saza nahi keh sakte, kyun ke uski poori hikmat aur haqeeqat Allah hi jaanta hai.

Momin ka kaam yeh hai ke mushkil ke waqt mayoos na ho. Woh Allah par bharosa kare aur apne aap se pooche:

“Allah mujhe is haal mein kya sikha raha hai? Kya mujhe apni zindagi mein koi ghalat kaam chhorna hai? Kya mujhe Allah ki taraf wapas aana hai? Kya meri ibadat, mere aqeede, mere maamlaat aur mere akhlaq mein koi kami hai?”

Agar hum Allah ke faisle ko samajh na bhi saken, tab bhi hum yeh jaante hain ke Allah be-hikmat faisla nahi karta.

Usay hamara maazi maloom hai.

Usay hamara haal maloom hai.

Usay hamara mustaqbil maloom hai.

Usay hamare zahir ka bhi ilm hai aur hamare dilon ka bhi.

Hum sirf aaj dekhte hain.

Allah poori tasveer dekhta hai.

Is liye momin ka kaam Allah ke faisle ke saamne sabr, tawakkul aur rujoo ilallah hai, yaani Allah ki taraf lautna.
Agar mujhe koi health ka masla diya gaya hai, mujhe Allah se shifa maangni hai aur halal ilaaj karwana hai.

Agar job ya business mein mushkil hai, mujhe Allah par bharosa karte hue halal asbaab ikhtiyar karne hain aur apne maal aur kamai ko check karna hai.

Agar ghar mein biwi-bachon ke saath masail hain, mujhe apne rawaiye, insaf, huqooq aur zimmedariyon ko dekhna hai.

Agar zindagi mein koi aur imtihan hai, mujhe Allah se door hone ke bajaye Allah ki taraf aur qareeb hona hai.
Mera kaam yeh nahi ke main Allah ke faisle par Allah se shikwa karte hue toot jaaun.

Mera kaam yeh hai:

“Ya Allah, mujhe nahi pata is imtihan mein Teri kya hikmat hai, lekin mujhe yaqeen hai ke Tu jaanta hai. Mujhe is imtihan mein sahi rawayya ikhtiyar karne ki taufeeq de aur mujhe Apni taraf aur qareeb kar.”

Aur agar hum apni zindagi mein Allah ki na-farmani kar rahe hain, to humein sirf duniya ki mushkil door hone ki dua nahi karni chahiye.

Humein taubah bhi karni chahiye.

Zina chhorna hai.

Sood se bachna hai.

Jhoot chhorna hai.

Cheating chhorni hai.

Wada khilafi chhorni hai.

Maa-baap ki na-farmani se bachna hai.

Haram kamai se bachna hai.

Zulm se bachna hai.

Apne huqooq aur doosron ke huqooq ada karne hain.

Aur Allah ke saath apna aqeedah durust karna hai.

Shirk se bachna hai aur ibadat sirf Allah ke liye karni hai.

Qur’an ko sirf padhna nahi, samajhna aur us par amal karna hai.

Har ayat ko apni zindagi par apply karna hai:

“Allah mujhe is ayat ke zariye kya sikha raha hai?”

Aur jab hum Allah ki taraf sachchi tawbah aur ita’at ke saath qadam barhate hain, to humein Allah ki madad se umeed rakhni chahiye.

Lekin yahan bhi humein Qur’an ka balance yaad rakhna hai:
Muslimon ki duniyaavi kamzori ko sirf doosron ki sazish keh dena Qur’anic approach nahi.

Qur’an humein apne aamaal ka muhasabah bhi sikhata hai.
Allah farmata hai:

“Allah kisi qaum ki haalat nahi badalta jab tak woh khud apni haalat ko na badlein.”
— Surah al-Ra’d 13:11

Is liye agar hum chahte hain ke Allah hamari haalat badle, to humein apni zindagi badalni hogi.

Aqeedah durust karna hoga.

Ibadat durust karni hogi.

Muamlaat durust karne honge.

Akhlaq durust karne honge.

Haram se bachna hoga.

Taubah karni hogi.

Ek doosre par zulm aur dhoka chhorna hoga.

Aur Allah aur uske Rasool ﷺ ki ita’at ki taraf lautna hoga.

Hum ita’at ke paband hain; nateeja Allah ke ikhtiyar mein hai.

Bani Isra’il ki misaal humein yeh batati hai ke duniya ki sab se badi taqat bhi Allah ke saamne kuch nahi.

Fir’awn ke paas hukumat thi, lashkar tha aur zulm ki taqat thi. Woh Bani Isra’il ke beton ko qatl karta aur unki aurton ko zinda chhorta tha. Lekin jab Allah ka faisla aaya, to Fir’awn ki tamam taqat usay Allah ke faisle se na bacha saki.

Is liye power ka hona bhi imtihan hai aur power ka na hona bhi imtihan hai.

Hukumat milna imtihan hai:

“Main Allah ki di hui power ka kya karunga?”

Aur hukumat na milna bhi imtihan hai:

“Main kamzori ke waqt Allah par kitna bharosa rakhunga?”
Duniya ki izzat milna imtihan hai.

Duniya ki zillat ya mushkil bhi imtihan ho sakti hai.

Aur dono surat mein momin ka rasta Allah ki taraf hi hai.

Jo kuch aasmanon aur zameen mein hai sab Allah ka hai.

Aur jab sab kuch Allah ka hai, to mera maal bhi uska hai, meri sehat bhi uski amanat hai, meri family bhi uski amanat hai, meri job bhi uski ata hai, meri power bhi uski ata hai aur meri zindagi bhi usi ki di hui hai.

Is liye mujhe apni zindagi Allah ki marzi ke mutabiq guzarna hai.

Allah hi Maalik hai.

Allah hi Qadir hai.

Allah hi izzat dene wala hai.

Allah hi zillat se bachane wala hai.

Allah hi hukumat dene wala hai.

Allah hi hukumat cheenne wala hai.

Aur aakhir mein hum sab ko usi ki taraf laut kar jaana hai.
Mera kaam Allah ki ita’at hai.

Nateeja Allah ke haath mein hai.

I’m a Christian and very much believe in Jesus and want to honor him but I can’t stop doing wrong. I’ve gotten myself into prostitution and a bunch of other stupid things. I had a gambling addiction but I’m now realizing I have a deep money addiction and I keep putting it before him and I’m not honoring him the way I should be. He can’t possibly be pleased with me. I go to church and read the word but faith without works is dead and my lifestyle follows nothing Jesus stood for. I want to love Him but I can’t change my ways

Today I saw testimony of one woman, she said when she was kid and playing with another kid, Jesus appeared and said to come away from him he is not belong to God. I wanted to know what causes this? Why God denies his creature, kid. He even not started to live, and God denies him from his Heaven. Just why?

I'm not necessarily angry, rather numb.

I feel like God is against me. Everytime I think I'm secure, I struggle. Anytime I think I can get happy or excited over anything, it turns negative. Anytime I feel like I'm doing something right, something goes wrong everytime.

I feel like God has left my side or something. I feel as if he wants me to continue to struggle, to constantly feel behind. I don't know why he keeps waking me up in the morning if it's disappointment everytime.

I don't know what he wants from me. What he wants me to do. But he keeps letting me down, putting me through struggles, obstacles. Putting people in my life who serve no purpose and just hurt me. Just anything that makes me want to give up.

Last year, I went through too many consecutive illnesses. Throughout it all, I remained faithful and prayed, believing that no sickness could ever falter my faith and that whatever I was going through was simply a challenge I needed to face.

But right now, I am living with very bad health anxiety. I have become extremely conscious of my body. Even the slightest pain becomes amplified, and I have become stiff because moving means feeling things, too.

I know some of you may think that perhaps I am having a faith crisis. Maybe I am? But I believe in Him. I truly do. It’s just difficult not to be afraid when my prayers aren’t answered in the way I hope they will be.

And I just don’t know where to draw the line between “Ask, and you shall receive” and having faith in the midst of a challenge. I’m afraid of the challenges because I know, for a fact, that what I experienced last year traumatized me.

I think that’s what makes faith difficult for me right now, not that I’ve stopped believing in Him, but that I’m afraid of what might happen even when I pray with all my heart.

How can all these people that base the entirety of everything created in Gods universe off of a small ball of particles and dense heat that exploded into what’s known as the universe? It’s just so frustrating. Look, I’m always trying to learn more about God. Also I’m not religious. I follow God. That’s it. When I saw the video with Cliff Knechtle, he stated that anyone who follows religion is a fool. Why did he say this? I don’t understand how following religion is considered foolish. Cliff Knechtle is very informed on the bible and God. Almost like he’s some angel on earth. Back to the science stuff though. I wish it was easier to convince these people that are lost to believe in God. I know he gave us all free will. So I guess that means there’s nothing we really can do? I’ll make some more post later because I have so many questions. TIA.

This life I have doesn’t matter, if it did, God would have fulfilled his promises that convinced me I could be the girl I know I am and felt truly loved by him if he did it. But since things just get messed up, just tell God to end my life already because he doesn’t love me and humans think I’m a nobody unimportant. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to suffer like this, it’s been over 20 years suffering, so there’s no point believing God since he lied to me and let humans make him look fake like he’s Santa clause or the Easter bunny.

I have been having a rough couple day's mentally. I know god is with me and I am trying but not well. I was outside smoking picturing god grab my arm but it felt odd and kind of out of place so I stopped. A second later I felt a hand right there where I pictured, almost real like someone was holding my arm.

I have never felt anything so real even if it was inside my head.

At the moment I liked it but kind of let it pass until a few minutes later and it really hit. I sit here and its growing in my heart with thankfulness and love and just wanted to share for some reason.

Man, I love Jesus.

Oh another, I was laying in bed just talking listening to the bible. I have an issue separating the three. I put them as one and then I split them up. I talk to Jesus, or God, or the Holy spirit sometimes separately but the same.

I asked if they were one or different, was Jesus with God or was Jesus god and split up in a way. I heard a voice, it was deep and ancient kind of feeling with it. Deep and almost terrifying. "We are one."

I always wanted to hear his voice but I have issues but that, that must have been him.

Like, could the question "Why did God make the world the way it is?" be answered by "Simply because He can."?

Sort of like what Einstein & Musk claim is Spinoza's God, to which they subscribe?