r/work • u/Fit-Platform-8103 • 4h ago
Work-Life Balance and Stress Management My manager makes me buy him coffee whenever I mess up at work. Is this normal?
I have a manager who, whenever I make a mistake on a task, or something happens like me arriving late, tells me that my “punishment” is to buy him coffee.
For context, I’ve been late 3 times in the past 2 weeks because of heavy traffic. I understand that being late is my responsibility and that there should be consequences or at least something in place to make sure I don’t fall into the same routine. I’m not trying to avoid accountability.
The first few times, I honestly saw the coffee thing as a bit of a joke and thought, “Okay, I messed up, fair enough.” But now it seems like every time I make a mistake or something goes wrong, I’m expected to buy him coffee.
At this point, I’m starting to feel like it’s getting too far. Mistakes are going to happen at work, and while I understand being held accountable, buying my manager coffee every single time feels pretty strange to me.
What do you guys think? Is this just harmless workplace banter/punishment, or is my manager crossing a line?
•
u/Altruistic-Rip4364 4h ago
Does he buy you coffee when you have a good day? If not equal, it’s bullying
•
u/Fit-Platform-8103 4h ago
He actually does, but he does it so that he can use it as an excuse to say, “I bought you coffee, but you won’t do the same for me.”
•
u/SpunningAndWonning 3h ago
This COULD be a kind of playful thing that you had going. And if it came out pretty even it's a decent way to build rapport. But that doesn't mean you have to be ok with it. He doesn't have free reign to decide what's ok.
•
•
u/Fair-Interaction5486 4h ago
Bring a reusable hot mug and pour some in a coffee cup. It might be playful enough to get him to see how ridiculous it is
•
•
u/Positive-System-8810 4h ago
Wenn das kein Scherz sein soll geht das natürlich gar nicht, aber du solltest anfangen deine Arbeit ernster zu nehmen. Dreimal zu spät in zwei Wochen weil der Verkehr so schlimm war? Hallo? Lern mal Verantwortung!
•
u/sleestak_bus 2h ago
Likewise the manager should be sticking to the discipline structure of the workplace, and not putting OP in a situation. OP's employee handbook probably (hopefully) has a progressive discipline policy designed to improve things like this. Telling OP to straighten up and fly right won't cause the manager to do the same. Manager needs to follow their rules also.
•
u/Fit-Platform-8103 3h ago
Glaubst du im Ernst, ich komme mit Absicht zu spät? Ich bin extra noch früher aufgestanden als beim letzten Mal und stand trotzdem im Stau.
•
u/Mediocre-Let-4697 3h ago
Give yourself double the drive time. That will almost always keep you on time.
•
u/Degenerate_Traveler 3h ago
This. And then you leave early because you made up the time in the morning.
•
u/Individual_Check_442 14m ago
Says the person who says “I’m not tying to avoid accountability” LMFAO
•
•
•
u/sashley420 4h ago
I've had bosses that I was playful with like this but I was also friendly with those bosses. How long have you worked there? How many times have they "made" you buy them coffee? You can always tell them no but also be ready for actual consequences. Being late 3 times in 2 weeks because of traffic is absolutely unreasonable! Learn to leave earlier than you need to then you can chill before work for a few minutes.
•
u/CoyoteMaleficent9107 4h ago
Like as in drive to go get the coffee? Id def do it then and make it take an hour to come back each time.
•
•
•
u/catcat1986 3h ago
Personally for me, I’ve ran into stuff like this, and honestly this was always a playful way to try and teach you a lesson but not make it official. I get that technically this is not allowed, but he could just make it very official, give you paperwork and fire you instead.
So I would ask yourself, is she/he a good person, trying to train you, and cares about helping you become a better worker? I would let it slide. If you are kinda sick of work, don’t care to be liked or want to be move up, and you think it’s a toxic work environment, I would raise the complaint.
I think it takes a little more analysis and judgment. If you do find it problematic, I would bring it up to your manager privately.
•
u/Skyion604 2h ago
Feels like he is giving you a lenient warning to fix your act. Otherwise he would have just written you up and fire you for being tardy and incompetent at your job.
•
•
•
•
•
u/paperfences08 3h ago
Absolutely fucking not, and I’m the boss.
•
u/Fit-Platform-8103 3h ago
hire me
•
u/Beneficial_Remove616 1h ago
A boss which sticks to the rules would have put you on path to get fired for being late three times in two weeks. You might want to reconsider whether buying him coffee is a better circumstance for you.
•
•
u/Dapper_Sale8946 3h ago
“Every time I’m late” how many times are you late? 3 times in 2 weeks when most people that work responsible jobs could put that same number over years of work isn’t good. Perhaps it’s you making too many mistakes.
Leave earlier is the way to avoid being late. If you live in an area with traffic it’s on you to leave much earlier to get there on time.
•
u/MolassesInevitable53 1h ago
'Most' is doing a lot of heavy lifting there, dude.
If you think only being late three times over years of work is what 'most' people experience, you clearly live somewhere with little traffic, no landslips onto the roads, no car accidents on the roads, and do not commute to work by public transport which can be delayed or cancelled.
•
u/Individual_Check_442 16m ago
They said three times in two weeks not “years”
•
u/MolassesInevitable53 4m ago
u/DapperSale said
3 times in 2 weeks when most people that work responsible jobs could put that same number over YEARS of work
My emphasis.
•
u/sleestak_bus 2h ago
Ha. Next it's buy me drinks or there's the door. Give me a hug or theres the door. Don't even get me started on how you're ordered to spend your money on your BOSS. Get out of there and report him.
•
u/Excellent_Coconut_81 2h ago
No, it's very patronizing, you're being treated like child.
On the other hand, maybe you don't yet deserve being treated like an adult? If you're constantly late because 'exceptional' traffic, it's highest time to learn, there's nothing 'exceptional' in something that occurs regurarily.
•
u/Ghostx187 2h ago
You can solve this problem two ways: by not being a shit ass worker, or having a back bone and saying no.
•
u/Dunesea78 2h ago
A coffee sounds like he’s doing you a favor. Would rather buy a coffee than be written up or fired.
•
u/patersondave 2h ago
nobody should have to give anything to or for a supervisor or manager. they’re already paid more. nobody should come in late so often. the penalty should have been coffee and or maple old fashioned donuts for the entire team, minus the boss. sez me, that’s who
•
u/haphazard72 2h ago
Coffee? Back in my days it was a 3 course dinner and a romp in the sheets afterwards
•
u/PrettyBlueFlower Work-Life Balance 2h ago
My boss used to get me to make him coffee whenever I wandered off from my desk.
I made him international roast, about 6 times a day.
•
u/Psycho_Pansy 2h ago
Are you leaving and getting this coffee on company time and are being paid for the time to get the coffee.
Take a long time to get that $1.50 coffee from McDonald's at the other end of town.
•
•
u/bloo_monkey 1h ago
So do you want to buy coffee or do you want to get written up for being late all the time?
•
•
u/sewingmomma 1h ago
I think it's hilarious and much better than getting written up. It's a massive problem if you've been late 3 times in 2 weeks. Do better.
•
u/Senior_Reaction2974 1h ago
I don't think that you should be having to buy him coffee. But you really do need to learn how to be on time.
•
u/Patient-Prompt6894 1h ago
Sounds to me like he is trying to teach you a lesson. Stop making silly mistakes and you won't have to buy him coffee. Works for some people. It causes them to self correct. Its a method that works over time however if over used or abused it just causes resentment. Next tell him you will take the write up.
•
•
u/Impossible_Link8199 54m ago
I’d buy his ass a cheap $40 keurig and give it to him next time he tells you that you owe him coffee. “Your habit of making me buy a coffee has gotten too expensive and I can’t afford to do it anymore.”
•
u/YouCanCallMeDani 37m ago
Well considering I've been at my current company for over 15 years and would of only had to buy maybe 2 coffees, one because the train was delayed, I'd say the problem here isn't the manager. If you had an issue once woth traffic, why aren't you now leaving earlier just in case?
If the alternative to buying the coffee is to be written up, I'd choose the coffee every time. We only get so many infractions in a period of time. 3 times in two weeks, we'd be half way to termination.
If you don't plan on fixing the you problem, I'd suggest you invest in a keurig, some good coffees, some disposable cups (or maybe a nice personalized one for your boss), and start just making the coffee when you finally arrive
•
u/Low-Television-7508 33m ago
ask around. are you a young woman? first office job?
Very Much Not Normal
•
u/Nolagator1 17m ago
Are you asking if it’s illegal if he fires you for not spending your money on him at his whim?
I would contact an attorney.
•
u/bastrohl 15m ago
Basically manager is saying come in late … just bring me a coffee when you do. Nice trade!
•
u/Individual_Check_442 15m ago
I mean I definitely don’t think it’s cool but in a way you’re getting off easy.
•
u/moonhippie 6m ago
The first few times, I honestly saw the coffee thing as a bit of a joke and thought, “Okay, I messed up, fair enough.” But now it seems like every time I make a mistake or something goes wrong,
Here's an idea. Leave your house early enough so that you can get your ass to work on time.
It's simple, not rocket science stuff.
Look on the bright side. He could fire you. Instead, he's giving you clues, yet you seem to be a bit too dense to grasp them. It sounds like you're more of a fuckup than anything. And you wonder why you're getting treated like a joke.
•
•
u/CaptainMischievous 4h ago
Heh. I'd buy the coffee all right, and add a flavor enhancer (of the bodily secretion type) to it out of spite. Or just tell him that someone suggested you do it, isn't that funny, ha ha and let him get paranoid so he'll stop "punishing" you. No, that's not normal. Tell him to buy his own coffee.
•
u/Blakk-Debbath 3h ago
Get the cooffee! Be glad the late coming dont cost you more.
If in EU, I would make a thermos, in USA, continue buying.
•
u/Fit-Platform-8103 3h ago
you sound miserable, no one actually likes you in real life i hope you know that. People with this mentality, we stay away from
•
u/itshimthatsgr1m 2h ago
Hahaha that was a pretty harsh response to some decent advice. Depending on what your job is, a couple of dollars for a coffee could be a fraction of what you are costing the company every time you make a mistake. This seems like a pretty innocent consequence, especially if he is reciprocating and buying you coffee on good days.
•
•
u/Suspicious-Water-973 3h ago
They are right about the thermos, at least outside of cities. Also offices (at least all the UK ones) have a kitchen with a kettle and coffee maker, etc.
That way we can drink 30 cups of tea per day (I joke but tea is a bit of a ritual) for very little cost.
•
u/Impossible_Link8199 52m ago
Yikes. Maybe you have to buy your boss coffee all the time because you’re super quick to be rude? People with this mentality, we stay away from.
“No one actually likes you.” 😂 Are you 5? Maybe you should go tell the teacher on your boss.
•
•
u/geraldnguyensg 3h ago
It's a bit strange but he also seems playful. Whether it's "harmless" or "crossing the line' is a personal judgement IMO.
If you don't like the "every single time" aspect, how's about grouping multiple mistakes into a single buying at the end of the week/month or the one after after?
•
u/MolassesInevitable53 1h ago
How late? Ten minutes? An hour?
Does the nature of your job mean it is a big problem if you are a bit late?
Can you make up the time with a shorter lunchtime, or staying a while at the end of the day - maybe spread over a couple of days?
I'm pretty sure his behavior is illegal pretty much everywhere. Basically, he is fining you and depriving you if some of your wages/salary - the cost of the coffees.
Plus, if it is so important that you are at your (desk?) where us the logic in sending you away to get coffee?
•
u/Small_Perception885 4h ago
What happens when you don't get coffee? This is obviously crossing the line.