r/texts • u/junebugonarose • 8h ago
Phone message We met on Hinge, then matched on Bumble after a few dates
A modern love story š„°š
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u/Commercial_Will404 8h ago
Similar thing happened to me but it was a girl I had a short conversation with on bumble,she unmatched me while I was typing a message, then like a week later we matched on tinder lol. So awkward
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u/junebugonarose 8h ago
I totally swiped right on him by accident on bumble. I think I played it off pretty well
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u/Opposite-Bench-9543 8h ago
Umm how about u stop using the apps and try to get to know the person?
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u/Outrageous_Shirt69 8h ago
Met my girlfriend of 7 years on Tinder.
Apps are how you meet people, and then you get to know them
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u/Sense-Abject 6h ago
This lol, whatās the fucking point of trying to match with someone else if you are on a talking stage with someone
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u/Rarak 5h ago
You can talk to and date more than one person at a time. I did and it sped up the process and it worked out for me
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u/Sense-Abject 5h ago
I just find it irresponsible and offensive, you cannot get to know a person in a profound way if you date multiple people at the same time and also, there is no really a time advantage there, date the same person until you find out if itās for you or not and then move on to the next
If I find out the person Iām dating is dating someone else I just know that one is not for me
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u/Free_Waterfall_III 3h ago
You are not important enough for someone to stop their life for you, after knowing you for a day. Donāt be a fucking nerd
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u/Sense-Abject 3h ago
āStop their life ā
You are dumb as a rock, Iām just talking about treating humans like humans and seeking real connection and not scrolling through people as if real life is fucking tik tok . You are free to date multiple people, I just think that dating all them at once is irresponsible and disrespectful towards all of them if what you are looking for is a partner and not some cheap sex
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u/sweeterthanany 2h ago
type of person who thinks theyāre in a relationship after 2 dates lol
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u/Sense-Abject 2h ago
Type of person that jumps from people to people with zero emotional responsability
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u/Electric_jungle 2h ago
Most of the time, messages aren't going to lead to dates, so you message multiple ppl at once, searching for connections. Sometimes, that means you're scheduling multiple first dates at the same time, or even some seconds and some firsts. Why on earth would you cancel everyone else just because one date happened? If anything, it keeps your head clear to really assess what you're looking for out of a partner.
On the flip side, when you do have a connection forming you want to explore, you do cancel everything else. Eventually, you pause or delete the apps then themselves.
This is exceedingly normal, and I met my wife this way.
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u/junebugonarose 1h ago
Iām a single mom with a full time job - I have very little time to date. I have to be efficient.
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u/Sense-Abject 1h ago
Isnāt it more efficient to date only one person at a time so you donāt have several talking stages and several dates at once ?
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u/Time-Gazelle-5747 6h ago
Hey this happened to me too.. but.. it was an honest mistake on my part. I had to make new acct on bumble despite being on premium. And the good thing was he found me on tinder.. then i liked him back. And messaged him, and explained what happened. It was really a lapse on my part. I almost lost him. š
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u/May28th2026 5h ago
Does his name start with an M by any chance? š
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u/Main-Ask8030 4h ago
Upvoting because while unlikely, it will be very entertaining if his name does start with "M".
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u/IKeepComingBacktoWSB 7h ago
Ngl the way he casually brought that up was SMOOTH
Def experienced AF
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u/Tarkaryster 6h ago
Iām not sure this is the flex you think it is tbh
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u/The_Dude_Abides_63 5h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/9uoYC7cjcU6w8
Wasnāt expecting that, well done and I wish you both the best!
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u/whichonewerecowards 8h ago
Heās asking you to make the first move? Am I understanding this correctly
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u/junebugonarose 8h ago
Itās a joke. On bumble, women make the āfirst moveā
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u/whichonewerecowards 8h ago
Oh lol. Side note but didnāt they get rid of that?
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u/junebugonarose 8h ago
Yes youāre right! I think within the last couple weeks either party can message first
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u/Co-opingTowardHatred 8h ago
What? That was their whole identity!
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u/PleaseHelpImADumb1 6h ago
But men will pay more so itās better to gear the apps towards lonely men and entice them to spend money.
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u/Co-opingTowardHatred 6h ago
I donāt believe this makes it more appealing to men.
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u/PleaseHelpImADumb1 5h ago
The more men can do inside the app, the more you can attach paid features to.
For example, if they canāt message first, put a price on it. They will pay.
Iām not sure how it worked before or now, but thatās just a basic example. A 4/10 woman will have a full inbox. A 4/10 man wonāt even get 10 matches.
Now youāve got how many different apps out there? Itās a competitive scene and not catering to the gender that actually spends is why they switched. Guaranteed.
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u/mdmdmdmdmdmdmdmdmdm 4h ago
Thats not how it worked before, and not how it works now.
They change was implemented because it turns out even on the app made for women to message first, they prefer men messaging first.
Thats all.
The apps algorythms match you with people who get a similar ratio of likes to you, which when looked at one way makes it seem like a 4/10 guy wont get matches compared to a 4/10 woman.
Or another way to look at it is that a 4/10 woman is more diserable than a 4/10 man. I.e a 4/10 is actually a 2/10 and is trying to matxh with women out of his league.
Anyway, none of this has to do with why bumble changed their shit
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u/PleaseHelpImADumb1 1h ago
If you think that companies do anything other than because of the financial incentive youāre in for a rude awakening.
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u/Commercial_Will404 8h ago
That was bumbles whole schtick but even if he sincerely was so what? Lol
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u/whichonewerecowards 8h ago
Nothing, just a turn off for me personally
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u/Veritas-Cuervo 8h ago
There are some things that are turn offs for me, too. I donāt feel a need to comment about them.
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u/whichonewerecowards 8h ago
Did this one hit close to home?
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u/PTroughton 7h ago
Nah I agree that you shouldn't comment on this. It's fine for you to have a conservative approach to dating but it's a little rude to comment, because even if you don't explicitly criticize others for not sharing them, it does come off as judgy.
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u/Diamond_h03 8h ago
Assuming OP is a woman, the premise of Bumble is that in M+F relationships the women have to make the first move/send the first message in order to start the conversation.
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u/Dankest_Confidant 7h ago
the premise of Bumble
Not anymore since about a week ago. It's now just yellow Tinder.
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u/wisteriapkwy 7h ago
So is this his way of asking for exclusivity without actually asking for it
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u/junebugonarose 1h ago
I donāt consider us exclusive yet. For now, Iām just dedicating all my dating energy to him.
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u/Consistent-Oil-5241 1h ago
There's a difference?
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u/junebugonarose 1h ago edited 1h ago
Iām not really sure lol. But for us to be exclusive Iād need us to have another conversation at least.
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u/TopShelfSnipes 6h ago
I hope that's a cartoon character or a mascot in the first pic in slide #2, otherwise whoever they're with has got some big ol' clown feet š
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u/Glass_Driver1707 1h ago
I love that youāre not pressuring each other to get off apps right away. Hope it works out, OP!
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u/Stunning_Box8782 55m ago
Im not understanding what "being jealous of her using your favorite picture of her as her main pic" means
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u/implication-sofa 27m ago
OP probably told him at some point on one of their dates that was her fav pic of him and so he made it his main pic bc clearly it worked before
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u/Stunning_Box8782 23m ago
oh I had the genders flipped then. But thanks.
And "Take down mine" refers to deleting your Dating app account?
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u/Pure-Advantage5946 7h ago
How comes ur both still looking around on Bumble after a few dates? š¤
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u/MiSantoRey 7h ago
Theyāre not married after a few dates, this isnāt 1950ā¦.
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u/plumeriadogs 7h ago
Totally agree with your point but funnily enough dating culture in the 1950s was actually pretty chill in that regard. It was totally normal to go on dates with multiple different people. Going steady with someone was also a thing, but it definitely wasn't assumed/expected to just exclusively date one person even after multiple dates. It almost seems people are generally more uptight about it in 2026.Ā
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u/SadderOlderWiser 3h ago
They really are. The outrage at the idea of talking to other people is directly proportional to the personās belief that they will lose if there is a competition. Itās a scarcity mindset. Itās the same thing that drives some people to look for cheat codes to attraction and connection, instead of looking for actual compatibility and they think they have to nail something down immediately or they will lose it.
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u/Pure-Advantage5946 7h ago
I mean ur either interested in the person or wasting eachothers' time. Seems disrespectful.
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u/P_Alcantara 38m ago
Do the youth really find this disrespectful? Iām 54 and we didnāt have dating sites, but people dated around until something clicked with someone. I mean for me it was the 90ās, there was no Netflix and chill, you had to put yourself out there.
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u/austinmpaul 14m ago
Itās not disrespectful unless the two are exclusive and boyfriend/girlfriend. If theyāre just in early dating then, thatās kinda what early dating is.
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u/Tarkaryster 6h ago
Itās more of a turn off than disrespectful, like thereās a reason two people are āstill lookingā on there because thereās definitely something you didnāt like about each other. I wouldnāt talk to ppl I matched with on another app lol
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u/PTroughton 7h ago
This in no way reflects dating culture post-1950s. Ever since the sexual revolution, "dating around" has been the widely accepted standard to ensure you don't end up with the wrong person.
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u/Pure-Advantage5946 7h ago edited 7h ago
Well call me old fashioned then but doesn't sit right with me and that's not how mine panned out. Guess I was lucky. If you're doing this, maybe you are the wrong person. Those other options will still be possible if and when things don't work out, but don't bank on it.
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u/United_Caramel_5065 6h ago
And yet divorce rates and birth rates are trending in the opposite direction of positive, why? Seems as though dating culture today reflects having a million options and refusing to settle bc thereās something ābetterā out there. Yet, the statistics show that this behavior is counter productive for long term dating.
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u/itsalwaysseony 8h ago
Cringe
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u/im_the_dr 8h ago
No, she said Hinge
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u/LittleDogTurpie 7h ago
But for real, Cringe would be a great name for a dating app.
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u/No_Photographs609 7h ago
After the best find love on the rest, here's what's left. Welcome to Cringe.
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u/Tethys404 Anijya to leave me alone 8h ago
I'm not used to a wholesome ending on here. I braced myself for the part where he flips and you end up blocking him. Lol. Good luck, OP. I hope it works out!