Is there no Recompense for my Misfortune?
I just went through a taco bell drive thru with my brother. Taco Bell has instituted an AI order taker, cause robots need jobs not good hearted warm blooded americans. I ordered a $9 Deluxe Box with a Dr. Pepper. The AI starts asking what my second Drink would be? I was confused and thankful when a human voice chimed gracefully sorry the AI thinks you want a #9 and a deluxe box I'll fix it. I was thankful to be cradled by the embrace of my fellow man in the correction of my order from the fuse box. She said ok i mended the situation you can continue with your order. I proceeded to order 2 mexican pizzas and 3 cheezy gordita crunches. The nice lady asked if id like any sauce? I requested as much as she could give me. I went up to the window and was greeted by a lively face where she took my payment for their products. My brother and I received our order and went on our merry way. About a half mile away my brother said they forgot the 3 cheezy gordita crunches which i had purchased for my three children who were home waiting patiently for dad to come home with dinner after a long day in the coal mines. I went back to the drive thru to have my order corrected. The worker said that the AI had not registered that part of the order so wall-e missed the boat a second time and never made it. She said remembered my order because it was only a couple minutes before and apoligized. She then informed me that even though the teriminator had messed up twice, i drove for miles on a round trip to return to the store and i had 3 starving children at home that hadnt eaten for days i would have to pay full price for my disaster order! I left alone in the cold just reaching for the warm hand of my fellow man for an olive branch of help to be turned away by the would be left unattended in my desperate time of need. To wither. To fade. Outraged at the injustice of the hungry children, my long cruel journey of return and the heartless cacophany of cogs and gears of the taco bell robot. I proclaimed, "Is there no Recompense for my Misfortune?!" The worker then said i can credit one item. I was thankful for the favor the cool glass of water in this parched dystopian desert of digital entities. I went to pull around. When my brother said that my tone was dickish and disrespectful of the worker. I realized while a robot may not have blood, sweat or tears it also did not have spit. Which would come in great abundaunce from my mortal man. So scared terrified horrofied of the hygenic harassment that might befall my humble meal i fled past the window and back to my house a short drive away. So i wouldnt become another casuality in the war of bodily fluids forever fought amongst food worker and food eater. So i sit at home eating my deluxe box and sipping my Dr. Pepper who while having multiple doctorates in flavor hasnt much medical knowledge of the healing of a broken heart. Pierced by the blade of the modern metal militia helped to stab through by the aid of my fellow man. I am lost, without hope for the future and with three reavenous babies who will not eat for yet another day. Damn taco bell, damn them for replacing the gentle guiding fingers of my friends with the clinking digits of a mechanical claw. I know now what ruin feels like. I have be torn from whole ripped to pieces to disappear into dust.
I also asked the fine lady to bequeath as much mild sauce as she was allowed by her computer overlord and the answer was 6 packets. Woe for me woe for humanity.
My brother thought this review would possibly lead to the unjobbing of a person and pleaded for me to not post this review to the eyes of our tacobellian overlords. But this whole ordeal leaves me feeling like Keanu when his dog was ruthlessly taken from him.
I plan to exact my vengeance with great violence and anger. I will treat the whole corporation of taco bell like the building of a russian mob boss. I plan to john wick the entire taco organization from the floor of the basement to the rafters of the roof. No one left untouched from my hands. Stories will be written legends will be told of my battle against these techno tyrants from now til the end of days.
Remember remember the 5th of september cheezy gorditas will not be forgot!!!
Btw the drive thru chick was attractive and i would not have minded her spit in my food. But its the principle of the matter my good people. I was wronged and await to be righted.