You are loved. You are worthy. You are worth so much love. Just because your family doesn’t always treat you the way you deserve, or because you sometimes feel like you’re standing in the background while everyone else seems to have a place, doesn’t mean you are less important.
Just because you weren’t always someone’s first choice doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy of being chosen. You deserve to be someone’s first choice.
Someone’s safe place. Someone’s favorite person.
Someone they look for in a crowded room.
Someone they are afraid to lose. And please don’t confuse the way people treated you with the value of who you are. Sometimes the people around us are simply incapable of giving us the love we needed. That doesn’t mean we were too much, too difficult, or not enough. It means they didn’t know how to love us properly. You are beautiful—not only because of your face, your smile, or the way you look, but because of everything you carry inside you. Your softness. Your heart. Your ability to care deeply. The way you keep loving even after life has given you reasons not to. Please don’t let the people who failed to see your worth convince you that you have none. Don’t shrink yourself just to fit into places where you were never truly appreciated.
And don’t spend your whole life begging for a seat at tables where you should have been welcomed without asking. Choose yourself. Love yourself so deeply that being overlooked no longer makes you question your worth. Let yourself become the person who finally gives you all the love you spent years hoping someone else would give you.
Because you were never unworthy of love.
You were just looking for it in places that couldn’t give it to you. And one day, I hope you look in the mirror and realize:
“I was never the problem. I was never unlovable. I was never less than anyone else.
I was always worth choosing.
And now, I choose me.” ❤️

This is a project about 19 years in the making (from the age of around 20 to almost 39) and it has been worth all of the effort. It was worth the tears, the set backs, the epiphanies, the shadow work. It was worth it to face myself and see myself whole and fall in love.

You are worth the effort it takes!

Hey everyone :) maybe someone has had a similar experience or something to say.

So for the last few months I have been feeling really sick. Beside some deficiencies nothing was found, I think it is something like CFS or post covid. At some point I just lied in bed all day, taking a shower or brushing my teeth barley possible.

Now, some time later, I am happy that I can leave the house, go on a short walk and see my friends again.

However I realised that my life before was just too much. I have been stressed out for years and was treating myself not very kindly. Med school, learning a language, family drama, 2 sports, many side quests, commuting, toxic people in my life have drained the life out of me. Also perfectionism held me off celebrating my wins.

Now I want to treat myself with more kindness. Love myself for who I am as a human being and not for my accomplishments. Just existing is enough. I don't have to go above and beyond anymore.

A couple of months ago, I met someone shortly after moving to a new city. I was alone, adjusting to a new place, and honestly having a hard time moving on from someone else.

Then he came into my life.

He helped me build my furniture. We hung out almost every day. At the time, it genuinely felt like God had placed someone in my life exactly when I needed them. And despite how things ended, I don’t regret meeting him.

Eventually, though, he became flaky. Things between us became toxic and inconsistent. I gave him another chance, only to be ghosted again.

So I left him alone.

About three weeks later, the calls started. Then the social media requests. Then the texts.

I haven’t answered a single call. I haven’t responded to a single text. I’ve deleted every request.

The old version of me would have answered. I would’ve asked why he disappeared. I probably would’ve begged for an explanation or tried to understand what I did wrong. And I won’t pretend this doesn’t hurt, because it does. There’s still a part of me that wants to respond.

But I promised myself I wouldn’t keep giving people access to me after they’ve shown me how easily they can walk away.

So my final act of love toward him is walking away myself. No argument. No long goodbye. No trying to make him understand what he did to me. Just revoked access.

He walked away because, for whatever reason, he decided that whatever was out there was worth losing what we had.

I hope he finds what he was looking for.

It just won’t be me waiting for him when he comes back.

I don’t even really know how to describe how I feel right now. Just thinking about myself makes me cry.

I keep thinking: who even am I? What would somebody genuinely love about me? Why has no man ever stayed? Why did nobody love me enough? Why do I keep letting men treat me like I don’t matter?

The confusing part is that objectively I know some of these thoughts don’t make sense. Socializing is easy for me. I have friends, I meet people easily, men approach me, but I also feel rejected a lot - so I feel ugly, boring, embarrassing and completely unworthy. Like there must be something fundamentally missing in me.

Lately I’ve also been drinking way too much. Then I spend so much time in bed crying, feeling depressed and watching YouTube videos trying to understand myself or somehow feel better. I know alcohol is probably making everything worse and I want to stop.I don’t want to keep living like this.

Has anyone genuinely been in a place like this where your sense of worth was this low and rejection completely destroyed you and actually gotten better? What helped you?

Once you see what you have normalized, ask why you normalized it. Not to judge yourself, but to understand what it was protecting. Maybe you kept accepting something because you were afraid of being alone, losing belonging, being rejected, being punished, or having to admit that something you wanted to trust was never actually good for you.

That is where things start becoming clearer. What feels normal is not always true, safe, or healthy. Sometimes it is just the thing you got used to because questioning it came with consequences. And once you understand what fear is holding the pattern in place, you can stop treating that old fear like a life rule.