So a small bit of background here, I worked in an industry for 20 years where my work hours were set times. they were predictable and I got to switch off. however due to the nature of my chrons and it being to physical I eventually found what I do now. Farm maintenance, (machines not vehicles). while I like my job now it starts at 6.30 and I'm home at 3. once every 4 weeks I'm on call 24 hours for 7 days. if something breaks, and it always does. I'm required to go and fix it or sort something to get through to the morning. The work I'm totally fine with. it's the not knowing what I'm doing. I sit at home stressed, I stare at my phone, I don't dare do anything incase I'll have to stop. what the hell am I meant to do about this. once I'm out doing whatevers needed, I'm fine. I don't like the sudden change of routine OR the not knowing and I definitely don't like the fact I could be woken up at any moment. I struggle like fuck with it. the weeks leading up to being on call I stress, while on call I barely sleep. Just to add my partner is getting sick of me being miserable that week and I'm currently undoing an autism diagnosis, which makes total sense and everyone tells me I'm clearly on the spectrum. I just have no official diagnosis. obviously this might not help with being on call.

please please please.

help me.

I'm 23 in my last year of college, I'm so broke the only difference between me and a homeless guy is I dress better. Also do not have alot of IRL friends that share the same interests as I do, all they do now is smoke weed and play video games 4-6 hours a day. I also smoke weed but mainly workout, study Info Tech and work, I can't lie I have a good support system, to cover the bare minimum. I consider myself lucky in some aspects like a roof over my head, a car and I never go hungry.

I am trying to be more accountable for my actions, I sold my ps5 and I am trying to quite smoking, I haven't been sober for a full week in like 2 years. I still maintain a strict diet, study routine and work out split. I would say the main thing holding me back is smoking at the same time its the only time I get a short period of relief from stress and anxiety. I have no one to vent to or share deep convos with, Im not close with any of my family members, we all love each other no doubt but we are more of a stoic family of men.

loneliness is a btch, it chips away at you day by day even on your best days it seeps into the cracks glooming your mood a bit. I enjoy being alone at times, no worries of being judged, you can relax, fart as loud as you can. It can be a double edged sword, on the other side is sorrow and a hole so big in your chest nothing you do can fill it.

I really wish I could find a cool person to date or just have a close friend we can relax and chill around, but the reality of my situation is I can barley support myself let alone a partner. I tell myself once I graduate and find a decent job with my degree (God willing) I will put myself on the market start taking dating serious actually approach people. But I mean Im 2-3 years out from having a stable job and house of my own. I am barley hanging on as it is I don't know If I have another 2 years of this in me of this shi I know other people have to be going through similar shi but I don't know how anyone can stay positive through this.

I'm 19 years old student midwife, and I have absolutely nothing good going on in my life. I need tips on how to improve my mental and physical health better
I struggle with watching YouTube, instagram and TikTok videos all days. I also struggle with sleep.
Can anyone pls help me. I don't even look attractive anymore because my sleep is fucked.
Please help a sister

I am 26 and she is 67, my grandmother (Mom) does what she likes to do. Some other things, and complains about other things she does for me (driving, it's hellish she's angry at the lights and traffic). so things are done but it doesnt feel like she is doing something when that happens and she weaponizes her hobby (cooking) as reasons for why I am wrong for not feeling supported and I'll feel confused because being fed is a very specific form of love to me and she always talks about how tired she is and rests a lot and takes a lot of naps because she has had a hard life and deserves that and understanding the relativity of time I dont have as much labor to complain about but I've had similar experiences on a more condensed scale so far (CPTSD). So anyways, I feel too bad and guilty and she reminds me that's my fault because I ask her to take accountability for her accusatory emotions. She will run to the bathroom or have pain and talk about tiredness when we are talking through anything and when I feel when my point is becoming clear she sabatoges the conversation. She cooks lavish meals for extended family and I never know what groceries are being shared so I wont ask and I'm not greedy. I have a cabinet over the washing machine and a drawer in the fridge and we share some of the living spaces. The situations that disturbs me most is how my morbidly obese cousin is meal prepped for and his food takes up half the groceries and freezer space then I recovered from anorexia and she was bitching about my groceries needing room and exhasperated about having to purchase cheese again like as if. Thing is, she's innocent and confused and treats me like an angry lunatic and I feel bad.

For background, she abandoned me when I was 2 because my step-dad is violent and she couldnt be around him. I am now a man, I was her granddaughter. My biological mother and he abused me and I left home at 14 then a pedophile groomed me, social services placed me with my grandmother and she kicked me out at 17 for seeing that man who she knew beat me as she was also lying about seeing her ex-boyfriend. Then after I was raped and contracted syphillis almost 3 years later she moved me in unofficially and I walked on eggshells and somehow here we are. A great issue is my voice drop, every emotion I express is interpreted as anger now and nothing is the same, I get so sad I cry myself to sleep.

I don’t know how to do anything

hi
how can i function well like right now im so tired of everything theres this stuff ive been anxious about smth personal also.

i feel like im sleepy all day im tired of school days i jst got rained, lack of sleep, and stress and anxious on acad stuffs. i feel sick physically and mentally. i feel so empty. like it feels like my old self empty shell is back.

and then my major exams are coming in 2 days and i cant move an inch and theres allat of even stuffs to do other than studying.

even i feel so dissociated from everyone even my YOLO friends, “why are theyre so determined why are theyre so disciplined” theyre all studying well while me i used to be an acad weapon

im so obsessed w getting diagnose for the past few weeks cuz i feel like i rlly need to get help

idk im 2nd yr college already but i feel like im so behind to everyone im currently thinking if i shouldve been born.

Hey everybody,

I’m writing this because I honestly just need to get everything off my chest. I struggle a lot mentally and I feel extremely insecure about almost everything about myself.

I don’t think I’m funny, good looking, smart, or interesting. I have really bad social anxiety and I overthink everything. I’m also way too self-aware. When I’m talking to someone, I’m thinking about how I sound, what my face looks like, whether I’m being awkward, what I should say next, and what they probably think of me. Because of that, I’m barely present in conversations. My mind goes blank, I forget what people say, and I struggle to respond or keep a conversation going.

Growing up, my older sisters would sometimes make fun of things I liked, wore, or wanted to do. I feel like that made me scared to trust my own opinions. Now I’m extremely indecisive and easily influenced because I honestly don’t even know what I like anymore.

My brain also feels foggy all the time. I can’t focus, I forget things constantly, and I struggle to retain what I learn. I’m 19 and in college, but most days I just go to class, come home, doomscroll, and study when I absolutely have to. I don’t really have hobbies or know what I’m passionate about.
I compare myself to everyone and get jealous of people who seem confident, funny, social, or comfortable with themselves. It feels like everyone else knows how to live naturally while I’m constantly analyzing myself.

I also rely on AI a lot because I don’t trust myself to write, think, or make decisions on my own, and I feel like that’s probably making me trust myself even less.

I’m just tired of feeling like my own brain is working against me. I want to be able to hold conversations, focus, remember things, make my own decisions, and actually enjoy moments without constantly criticizing myself.

I’m 19 and I really don’t want the rest of my life to feel like this. I just don’t know where to start.
I’d really appreciate any advice.🙏

i live in italy, a cat that lives in my neighbourhood scratched me/bit me a month ago, i was offering it food and petting it and it just happened. the cut was minor but it broke the skin and i have no idea if the cat did it with a canine or his paw. it didnt bleed on its own but i squeezed a droplet out and then washed it for a few minutes with antibacterial soap. the cat looked normal and was just lazy, laying down but asking for pets and rubbing itself against a wall, it could walk normally and didnt show any sign of sickness. i saw it again 2 days later and it still looked very normal, my boyfriend petted it and even put his hand in its mouth to check if the cat was hyper salivating and the cat was completely fine, didnt even try to bite him. the cat was lazy again, laying down, but at some point it just walked away. from that day ive never seen it again, and in the past few days cats have been disappearing in my city and ppl have been posting it on fb.
i asked 2 of my doctors and a nurse and everyone said not to worry about it, but im still scared and i dont know if i should get a shot or if im late for it. i feel completely fine and the lesion healed perfectly.

I’ve been thinking about how much our environment affects our behavior.

Sometimes making something easier to access is enough to turn it into a regular habit.

For people who created a workout space at home, did it actually change how often you exercise?

Or was motivation still the biggest factor?

I (21F) don’t really know where to start with this, but I guess it all started when I realized I couldn’t spend time alone with myself. I always had to be stimulated by company (physical or through text or call) and when I wasn’t, I was in bed or going on my phone and looking through social media. I have been ignoring this feeling because I didn’t even know where to start this inner work.

I’m about to steer off track but very recently, one of my closest and dearest friends has confronted me about how I have been an inconsiderate and mean friend. Everything he had said was right and I am trying my hardest to take accountability for it and change. As I’m writing this, my friend wants me to note that some of his points were just projections, but I don’t think that’s the point but maybe it’s worth mentioning?? My problem comes from the fact that I keep beating myself up about and have shown myself no compassion. I have since tried to isolate myself from all my friends because I feel like I mess everything up.

This time I have spent alone made me realize that I have so much inner work to do to 1) be a better friend and 2) be kinder to myself. My therapist and I have concluded that I don’t trust myself and care too much about what other people think, which is why this whole situation has been beating me up to the degree that it is.

I understand that I am young and have a lot of time to grow, but I really want to get the ball rolling. I want to trust myself. I want to be a better friend. I want to be okay with being alone… I don’t know if any of this makes sense or if these topics even intersect perfectly. My brain feels really jumbled, but I would love to have some advice on this? Please let me know. I have deleted Instagram because I don’t think social media is a good contributor to this

Im 18 year old just got into a collage feeling very weak. I was studying in a school from 1st std to 12th and suddenly moving from there feels very heavy the friends the environment everything i miss them all. Another thing that school gave me was my gf I love her so much and we could see each other for like 3 years eveyday but now it's gone. I can't see her . I miss her sm i miss my school friends teachers my gf and evrything . Going to the collage is making me so sad. Like I'm crying most of the days I know I'm a man but still I just cant tolerate. During my higher studies I dreamt of something other than collage and since it's wasn't the safest way I choose to do it after my degree. But that also is burning me out. I chose this decision . Evrything is feeling so heavy and idk why I'm sad like it's just how life is supposed to be. I can't stay in my comfort zone everytime I have to move on but I can't accept it. Im very weak mentally like I cry most of the time my gf is very supportive and she's with me even in these situation but I just don't want to be like this I want to enjoy my life I want to be strong

I did terribly in school as a kid; I grew up being told by all my teachers and parents that I'm extremely lazy. I dropped out of high school, later got a GED, enrolled in college, and again dropped out. I'm now a married father with three kids and really struggling with life. For the first nine years of my marriage, I worked as an Uber driver until finally going back to school at 32 and getting a bachelor's degree in accounting. I was lucky to land a good government job that I really enjoy. I go to work every morning planning to do my job, give it all I got, but I just end up paralyzed all day. I have an image of what my work should look like, and I feel like it's unrealistic. My communication skills are terrible. I came to rely heavily on AI for even the most minor things like writing emails, etc. The saddest part is that I understand the complex subject matter, but my thoughts are all scattered, my brain is extremely unorganized, and on top of it, not knowing how to write doesn't help. I spend hours on my workpapers and then delete them because they are not the way I imagine they should be. Even when I do personal social media posts, I spend like an hour trying to get them perfect with AI before posting. I told myself right now that I won't do that with this post and just post however it comes out. I have the same issue with hobbies and all other areas of my life. I want to try so many things, but I get so stressed out from the fear of failing that I don't even try. Going back to work tomorrow, I am just going to try to let myself do the work even if it seems mediocre in my eyes. I've been going to therapy for the last few years and really working on myself, but I just feel so different than everyone else; I feel like my brain is wired differently. I don't really know what I'm looking for here, but it would be nice to hear from anyone that can even remotely relate.

I read “101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think” the way I eat a bag of chips that I didn't really want. Lots of bite sized pieces, but sometimes a whole handful at a time, telling myself I should stop, and then somehow it was gone. The book kept interrupting itself, never letting me finish a thought before handing me the next one to chew on.

I went in wanting something to sit with. What I got was a coffee table book pretending to be a spiritual awakening, a series of blog posts stitched together, each one reaching for the same enlightenment from a slightly different angle, like someone circling a parking lot looking for the best spot and never finding one.

There is real gold to be found in it, however. I underlined things. I copied other things down. But somewhere around essay sixty, I understood what the book was actually teaching me, and it wasn't any one of its hundred and one lessons. It was this: wisdom isn't a sentence you collect. It's a wound you sit inside of until it turns into something you can carry.

That's the thing I want to make my case for. Here's how I got there. The book says bad thoughts are good and normal, then a few pages later it tries to teach you how to escape negative thinking altogether. It says suffering is just resistance to feeling discomfort, then hands you a checklist for optimizing your happiness. It wants to be a spiritual book and a happiness hack in the same breath, and it never picks. Picking would mean sitting still, and this book is allergic to sitting still. It just keeps talking, the way people do when they're afraid of what happens in the silence after they've said something profound.

I know that silence. I've lived in it. A divorce doesn't teach you anything the moment it happens. It isn’t until much later, in the quiet, when you're finally still enough to feel what it actually taught you. A move across the country doesn't transform your life at the gas stations along the way. It happens the first night you're in a new place and there's nowhere else to get to. A heavy diagnosis doesn't change you in the doctor's office, not really. It changes you on some ordinary day when the discovery finally stops being a limiting fact someone told you, and it simply becomes a thing you live with. None of that arrived for me as a sentence I could underline. It arrived as a wound I had to stay inside of, uncomfortably, for longer than felt survivable, before it turned into something I could actually carry.

That's the difference between insight and wisdom, and it's the difference this book keeps almost naming and then running from. Insight is a soundbite. It costs you nothing. Wisdom costs everything, because it only exists on the other side of an experience you couldn't skip. Any idea worth having is often the one you can't get out of your head, the one that ambushes you at 2 in the morning three weeks later because you weren't done with it yet, or it wasn’t done with you. You can't hand someone wisdom in a sentence any more than you can hand them a scar. You can describe what a wound is. But they still have to bleed and heal to understand it fully.

So here's what I actually believe now, more than I did before I began reading: a book (or a person, or a conversation) can hand you every right word and still fail to teach you anything, because the words were never the point. The wound and how we heal from it is the point. The sitting still is the point. These 101 essays gave me sentences. It never once asked me to stay inside any of them long enough to earn what they were reaching for. The case I'd make to anyone who picks up any book expecting to be changed by it is that you won't be changed by sentences. You'll only be changed by what you're willing to sit with after you close a book.

I am on the verge of harming myself beyond any scope of return. I tried to reach out to my friends but all of them are asleep as it is 12.30am. I have kept a blade at arms length to use it and am holding back because i don't want to hurt others by hurting myself.

I feel very alone all the time. I have no one to talk to and well at times, I do think of it as a compliment to myself when I say, whatever I've done in life, I've done it all alone but it sucks mostly. It just keeps getting terrible and I just spend most of my days and nights for a matter of fact, all alone in my room crying

Hello, I’m 18M and starting my first year of university. I’m not quite sure how to start this.
For most of my life I’ve been very lonely. Entering high school, I struggled with making friends and wasn’t apart of an actual friend group until grade 12. At first I was having a good time, I was hanging out with friends and for once in my life I felt as if I actually belonged. My friend threw a small house party in May, and after drinking a little too much I ended up sharing some things that I probably shouldn’t have. I blabbered about how lonely I had been my whole life, how before I had basically no real friends, etc. After that night, they gradually started to distance themselves from me. I stopped getting invited, people wouldn’t want to hang out with me when I asked, and it feels like a full circle back to right where I began. Soon after I got into a summer relationship. She was the most beautiful, sweetest girl I had ever known. One day when we hung out, she seemed very down and conservative. I wanted to give her space after that day, and I hadn’t texted her for a week. After a week, she called me, and explained that she was upset with how I treated her. I apologized and tried telling her that I wanted to give her space, that I was sorry for misunderstanding things, and she basically doesn’t accept the apology and hangs up. This about at the end of August, and I sent her a text last night begging for forgiveness and how I wanted things to still work between us. Now that I’m starting university, I feel so uncertain about everything and I feel like I’ve been at the lowest I’ve ever been.

I guess what I’m asking is, how do I get back up on my feet? All my friends basically avoid me, and I have never felt more alone than I do now. How do I meet and create stronger bonds and relationships with new friends? Thank you

i wanna be pale or really light skinned . I am currently brown skinned n i’ve always hated it, i have all intentions of changing my skin n i would like some help or advice on what i should use. I don’t like feeling ugly so the most obvious thing to do is to change what you don’t like about yourself so you can feel confident in how you look. I am planning to use mequinol to fully depigment n i would have to maintain once i get my goal. I don’t want to hear about that love yourself talk because i have tried and i simply cannot love it , i’ve been exfoliating and i do look slightly lighter and feel slightly better about myself but obviously i will not be fully satisfied unless i am a really light skinned shade, has any black person ever whitened in this sub reddit ? can u pls tell me ur story? I have been using 30% meq for some time now n my chest got pale i don’t have enough to continue using it atm so i’m getting another lotion to use until i’m able to get meq again. I would like some one who has had a similar feeling as me to tell me about their dipigmentation process

TLDR:
3+ years of struggling with anxiety. Began healing and improving, had a setback in November that created incredible amounts of additional stress. Overall situation has improved, but it feels like anxiety has gone backwards?

—-

About 3 years ago I started suffering from panic attacks and severe anxiety. The first attack came out of nowhere on a normal day and since then it’s been a long road of ups and downs. When the first one happened I genuinely thought I was dying. It kicked off about a week of repeated attacks to the point where I thought I’d never be normal again.

After seeing my doctor I started on Lexapro and took that for approximately a year and a half, but I gained almost 30lbs on it and decided I didn’t want to be reliant on medication to function. I think it did help while taking it and while I was on the medication I did begin trying to learn new ways of managing my anxiety. I am proud to say I’ve reached a point where I am capable of recognizing my physical symptoms as false alarms and my anxiety hasn’t progressed into a full attack in over a year. I also started exercising more and going to therapy which I believe is helping.

It was October of last year I decided to start tapering off and then I was laid off from my job in the middle of November. I was fortunate to find a new job in January, but at a significant pay cut. I tried piling on extra work to make up the difference, but in doing so I created lots of extra stress. My new full time job quickly began to become a nightmare with a micromanaging boss and I decided to look for new work.

Finally, last month I accepted a new position at a company that seems incredible and my pay has significantly increased - taking a lot of financial stress away. I’m also down 25lbs, still exercising, and actively in therapy.

I feel like my situation has improved, but the last few weeks it feels like I’m constantly ruminating and noticing my anxiety feels significantly worse.

Has this happened to anyone else? I was in a terribly stressful situation, made a change to improve it, but it feels like I went backwards. It’s so frustrating. I’d appreciate hearing from anyone else that may have similar experiences.

I’m 23F. He was 28M. I think I need people to be brutally realistic with me about my own behavior.

I recently moved to a new city, and instead of actually building a life here, I basically did the opposite.

I didn’t make much effort to make friends. I didn’t find hobbies outside of my apartment. I didn’t explore the city much. I didn’t get comfortable going places alone. I mostly stayed home.

I met a guy on Discord before moving here and poured an embarrassing amount of my time and emotional energy into him.

We “dated” for around four months without ever meeting in person. I became ridiculously emotionally dependent on the relationship. My mood depended on whether we were getting along, whether he was responding, what he was doing, whether I thought he was ignoring me, etc.

We constantly argued, broke up, got back together, and repeated the same cycle.

Looking back, I can easily point out things he did wrong, but I actually don’t want this post to turn into analyzing him because that lets me avoid the bigger issue:

I chose to participate in this.

I repeatedly chose sitting in my apartment worrying about some man hundreds of miles away over building a life directly outside my door.

And this isn’t even a one-time mistake.

I’ve had a pattern of becoming intensely attached to people online since I was really young. When I have a person to obsess over, they basically become my hobby. I think about them constantly, wait for messages, arrange my time around them, and neglect other parts of my life.

There have been periods where I stopped doing this. When I was in college and had more going on around me, I had IRL relationships, friends, activities, school, etc. But apparently I never actually fixed the underlying pattern, because once I became isolated again I went right back to it.

That’s the part bothering me the most.

I moved to a completely new city at 23, which should have been an opportunity to explore, meet people, date locally, make stupid memories, try things, and become more independent.

Instead I spent months inside arguing on Discord with someone I had never even met.

I’m not saying online relationships aren’t real or that you can’t care about somebody you meet online. The problem is the extent to which I use one person as a substitute for having an actual life.

And I’m realizing I can’t keep telling myself that the solution is simply finding a healthier boyfriend next time.

If I meet another guy tomorrow and immediately make him the center of my existence, I’ve learned nothing.

So I genuinely want people to call me out.

What am I avoiding by doing this?

Why is obsessing over one person easier for me than building friendships, hobbies, routines, and a life that doesn’t revolve around romantic attention?

And most importantly: what would you actually do if you were me for the next 3–6 months?

I’m especially interested in advice from people who have had similar patterns and managed to stop.

You do not need to reassure me that I’m young or tell me not to be hard on myself. I already know I have time to change.
I want to know what I need to start doing differently.

Hello, my name is Matt 20M. I'm a medical student and I speak both Czech and English fluently.

Five days ago, my father had a heart attack. Until now, he was the only source of income for our family. He earned less than the average salary, but somehow we managed to survive, even though money was always extremely tight. Thanks to that, and my own efforts, I was able to start medical school.

I have some savings from working during the summer, but everything has changed overnight. I now have to help cover rent, mortgage payments, household expenses, healthcare-related costs, and other bills.

Based on my current savings, I have approximately 6 to 10 months before I completely run out of money.

The situation became even worse two days ago when I discovered that my father has significant debt that I didn't know about before. I am still trying to understand my situation, but the amount of financial responsibility ahead of me feels overwhelming.

Right now, I honestly don't see a clear way forward.

If I quit medical school and start working full-time, the salaries available to me would barely cover my monthly expenses. I fear I would spend my entire life working just to survive and repay debt.

If I continue studying, I may have to take on additional financial pressure and debt while trying to survive and have better life.

I feel trapped between giving up my education and risking my financial future.

That is why I am asking for advice.

Does anyone have ideas for realistic ways to start making money online? Because I speak Czech and English fluently and have a medical background, I am willing to learn new skills and work extremely hard. I'm interested in freelancing, online work, remote jobs, tutoring, translation, AI-related work, content creation, or anything else that could realistically generate enough income to help me survive and continue my education.

If anyone has experience with building an online income from zero, I would be incredibly grateful for your advice.

And if anyone is in a position to offer practical help, work opportunities, mentorship, or support, I would deeply appreciate that as well.

I'm not looking for an easy way out. I'm willing to work as hard as necessary. I just need to find a path that gives me a realistic chance have a better life without having to give up my dream of becoming a doctor.

Thank you sincerely to everyone who took the time to read this.

— Matt

This story goes way back to around 2018–2021, when I was about 14–16 years old.
I was one hell of a crazy kid during my school days. I never really enjoyed school, except for one thing: volleyball. When I was in 6th standard, I saw one of my seniors playing volleyball. I didn't even know him, but watching him play made me want to learn the sport. Even though I was short, I started practising day and night. By 7th standard, my receives and serves had become very good, and I became a setter for my school's U-14 team. I was genuinely good at it. My only major problem was that I used to yell at other players when they made mistakes.
Those years were probably the happiest period of my childhood. I laughed a lot, played with my seniors, juniors and classmates, and was rarely bored. Then I started becoming reckless.
Since I didn't enjoy much else about school, I started bunking classes with friends and going to theatres to watch movies. I'd wear a jacket or hoodie over my school uniform and go watch a movie instead of attending class. I kept doing it until I eventually got caught and was suspended for a week. My parents were called to school and my phone was taken away.
Academically, I wasn't terrible. I was actually above average in most subjects, but I had one subject where I would get something like 5/20 while getting 12/20, 17/20 or 9.5/10 in others. I simply wasn't interested in studying.
I was also immature when it came to relationships. I dated someone, we broke up, and I made mistakes trying to get her back. I eventually got into another relationship, but I realised I wasn't taking relationships seriously either. I also drank alcohol with friends during those years — sometimes several times a week, sometimes only a few times a month. At that age, we thought it was cool.
Eventually I started thinking that if I continued living like that, I was going to lose everything. So I made a decision to change. I started taking my studies seriously.
And then, just as I was trying to start a new chapter of my life, my father passed away. That changed everything.
I suddenly had responsibilities I wasn't prepared for. My mother had limited education, and my relationship with my older brother was extremely difficult. He had serious problems with alcohol and drugs and was not someone I could rely on. After my father died, things at home became very difficult — there were frequent arguments, verbal abuse, and situations where I had to deal with problems at home while also trying to study.
During my board exams, there were nights when I couldn't properly study because of my elder brother (I'm planning to disown him one day). I remember staying awake through the night before one of my exams. I couldn't cover everything I wanted to, and ironically one of the things I hadn't managed to study appeared in the exam. I still ended up getting 39/40 on that paper.
When the final results came out, I got a distinction in my 12th standard. Then I completed my degree and got a distinction there too.
I am now 20, recently graduated and working an entry-level job for around ₹13,000 a month. It's not where I want to end up, but it is a start. I've also been sober for around three years now.
I've tried to take responsibility for things at home, including household work and helping my mother. I don't say that because I think I'm some great person — I simply had to grow up earlier than I expected.
But there was a cost. I never really got the college experience that many people around me had. While some people were travelling, going out to places like Kashmir & Manali and enjoying themselves, I was mostly studying and staying close to home because I didn't feel comfortable leaving my mother alone.
Somewhere along the way, I lost the person I used to be. I stopped playing volleyball. I stopped talking to people. I became much more isolated — I cannot even speak to people I meet while passing whom I used to call brothers during my schooldays. I used to be someone who could talk to seniors, juniors, classmates and basically anyone. Now I sometimes struggle to even start a conversation. I've also been out of the dating/social world for years.
So that's where I am now.
I'm not looking for people to tell me that I'm a victim, and I'm not looking for sympathy. I know I made stupid decisions when I was younger, and I also know that I've made some progress since then.
What I actually want is advice. I'm trying to build a better career, become more disciplined, become more social again and eventually get back into things like volleyball.

If you were in my position at 20, what would you focus on fixing first? Career? Social skills? Confidence? Fitness? Relationships? Something else?

I've spent a lot of time surviving and trying to become responsible.
Now I want to learn how to actually build a good life.

When I was 16 I was really lonely. I had no idea why people kept leaving me. Every time I became friends with someone, we would talk for a week or two, and then they would just stop talking to me without saying anything. I was always wondering, “Why does everyone leave me?”

Then a new girl joined my school, and we became friends. One day, I told her that I had always struggled with making friends.

A couple of months later, we were walking together and it was pretty quiet. Then she suddenly said, “Can I tell you something without you getting upset?”
I said yes ofc

She basically told me, “You’re so weird. You don’t really do anything. You don’t focus on your studies, you don’t really care about your appearance, you don’t even listen to music, you don’t watch movies or even anime …., you don’t have any hobbies. Whenever I ask you what you did today, you say ‘nothing.’ And then you wonder why you don’t have friends.”

And honestly, the worst part was that she was right.
After that conversation, it was like something clicked in my head. I started paying more attention to myself and actually doing things. I started developing interests, focusing more on my life , my studies,and just becoming more involved in my own life instead of spending the whole day on my phone And I noticed a huge difference.

Now I’m 18 and sometimes when I think about myself at 16 I genuinely feel like I don’t even recognize that version of me.
What I still find weird is that I sometimes wonder why I couldn’t see it myself. Why did I need someone else to point it out before I realized what was going on?

I’m honestly still grateful to that girl. The way she said it was pretty harsh, but what she said made me wake up and look at my life differently.

Tried so many things out of my comfort zone, put myself in situations that I'm least comfortable with but I always return with a bad experience nothing to learn from, and feel like the same person. Im seeking growth but I can't seem to find it. I wanted to be able express myself and socialize comfortably but I'm nowhere near it. What am I doing wrong? I know it takes time, but I think it's been enough time so I just wanted to hear from people and what they've experienced

Ok I am writing this because I really need advice like very badly from hopefully a professional or someone but it’s urgent. In summary so you don’t skip this post my friend is thinking about commiting and I really need help let me get into the details.

So, we are juniors in high school and I don’t drink but I go to hangouts even if I know people are going to drink because it always ends up someone needing help or something.

This time everything was going as you would expect, you know teenagers drinking. No one was being unsafe but one of my friends took me aside and told me that he would never get drunk like this as we’ve had conversations about how we both think it’s stupid but that he felt like he needed to get drunk to actually say what he wanted to say.

He then told me that for years he’s been thinking about commiting, and this is a shock to me because litterally you would never tell he’s such a nice person. But it got really sad as he’s telling me about all these insecurities I never knew he had and his mental health. He was crying and I’ve never seen him like this ever and I didn’t really know fully what to say.

The big part is he said he has never really told anyone but it was also a huge step to actually tell someone but that he doesn’t even want me to talk about it to him in the morning.

So I am at a super loss right now because he was saying the only thing that’s stopped him was his parents but it really worried me like seriously making me ill that he could do something even like tommorow.

So I’m seriously at a loss like I need professional advice. I’ve talked about it with one very trustworthy friend and I think we both agree that he needs to somehow tell his parents and that it can’t be us forcing something as we’re worried it could make things worse.

But overall what concerns me is how long this is happening and I’m super scared for the morning cause I know he’s going to regret telling us and it would effect me the rest of his life if something happened to him and I knew and couldn’t do something.

Right now it’s 3am and he’s sleeping on the floor across from me. I need advice on what to do next from please a professional or someone else who’s actually gone through this because I am super scared.

So I’m going to post this multiple places and sorry if this is bad grammar or sounds frantic because I am, but please someone help me please.

I’m 24F and I feel like I’m supposed to be in this stage of discovering who I am, but I feel like I can’t really do that while I’m still living at home.

My mom is very religious and controlling. Everything becomes a Christ thing, and she feels like because it’s her house, she should be included in my decisions. She doesn’t like that I like women, doesn’t like certain clothes, doesn’t want tattoos or piercings, and gets upset when we don’t read the Bible or devote ourselves to Jesus.

I want to get tattoos and a septum piercing. I want to wear what I want and leave the house without feeling like I need permission. But I’m genuinely scared that if I do something she doesn’t approve of, I’ll come home to being screamed at or kicked out. I hate feeling like I have to sneak around or travel somewhere else just to be myself.

The problem is I don’t have anywhere else to go. I make $19.06/hr, and rent around here is easily $1,300+. I don’t have family I can move in with or friends I can get a place with. And I don’t want to move into some disgusting or unsafe apartment just because I desperately want freedom.

I’ve been looking into better jobs, roommates, and even jobs that provide housing, but everything feels impossible. Sometimes I genuinely feel like I’m going to be stuck here until she dies, and I hate thinking that way.

I just want to have my own life. I want to figure out who I am, travel, meet people, dress how I want, get tattoos and piercings, and have a space that’s actually mine.

If you’ve been in a similar situation, how did you actually get out? What did you do when you didn’t have family, friends, or a big income to fall back on?