r/lonely • u/chelceecee • 18h ago
Struggling to find someone that actually gets me
It's my first time using reddit and my first time actually trying to reach out for help.
I feel trapped by my own mind.
Ever since I was little, I was always considered smart, but not a prodigy. I surprised and amazed a lot of people, even doctors and psychologists. Academics are no problem for me.. There's just this feeling that always comes back to gnaw at me.
I'm not lonely as in speaking of people around me that love me. I'm talking about how isolating it feels to be the only one in the room that's brain is constantly overworking itself.
And I hate it.
I sound super edgy when I say this, but it's the truth and what I've always felt. I don't know how to turn it off, my brain just keeps analyzing everything, even if it's something so simple. I can't put it into words of how frustrated I am!!!
I treat everything as complex (which is very much true), I always question why or how something works, and I get frustrated when somebody presents me a problem to solve (mostly about critical thinking) and the information isn't fully, and throughly laid out! I've always thought outside the box, I never liked working with the information I was just handed to, since there would certainly be more possibilities that you would miss---a lot more different outcomes and varying questions that I'd have to ask in order for me pinpoint the exact answer. I'm not very fond with my deep curiosity.
God, I sound like a nerd right now.
Anyway, back to the point. It's hard for me to genuinely like or connect with someone, even though I have a lot of friends. Nobody ever understands me, which introduces the problem I have right now.
Because of no way to actually connect with people, I've been slowly viewing them as lesser beings. The purpose of this post isn't to vent, I want to find the people who are very familiar with this feeling.. People that I'd actually consider as "equals," 'cause I'm surrounded by a bunch of idiots. ..Typing that felt morally wrong, I am trying to change the way I perceive people, though. I don't wanna be a bad person.
As I said, I'm not a prodigy. I don't know advanced math, chemistry, or whatever the fuck impresses you. But I am a fast learner, and with something to work with, I'm sure I can at least get a grasp on it.
After re-reading my post to make sure no typos were made, I have one last thing to say. Humans are so interesting and complex, especially our minds.
Not sure if anyone's actually gonna read this.
Edit: its almost 2 AM for me after i finished typing this idk if this is gonna blow up bye im sleeping
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u/Marmoteador 18h ago
What does impress you?, like, what makes you say "woah! I'm truly impressed by this person!" in your head, because if you are only impressed by intellectual power, then you are gonna have a hard time finding someone impressing and thus someone you are willing to try to connect with.
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u/Electronic-Name-2196 18h ago
I read it so at least the last point we can argue against. I think some of your arguments have merit. I have this like internal need to question, I've studied behaviour from the life I've lead and general people freak me the fuck out. You've no idea. I spent about 18 months having my meals with serial killers every day. When you spend so much time talking with and learning about people they start to give you the ick. Im not a prodigy either, I went to grammar school tho but now im retired and only 42. I stay away from people most of the time.
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u/Galaxyturbo 7h ago
want to hear the serial killer story .. is they're your roommate or kidnapper 🤔
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u/Electronic-Name-2196 6h ago
Oh no nothing that exciting Im afraid. It was at work, in a prison. I want it to be something spicy now though! It could have been my Dad hahaha
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u/RichieRichR71 17h ago
I read it! I have form of what you are saying! I find this post extremely interesting!
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u/jd76541 16h ago
Look up the term polymath. It describes people like us perfectly.
This world is absolutely unforgiving of you are smarter than another person. They take it as a personal challenge, and fight you on everything. If they don’t sabotage you first. Smart people are less likely to get ahead because everywhere is just a popularity contest. If someone likes someone else more than you, you’re fucked. No matter how smart or how good you are.
The cardinal sin of this planet is being smarter than the boss. Slightly less bad is being smarter than the people around you.