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u/DeschainSWNC 10d ago
Sick rhymes, fam.
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u/flyms 10d ago
I read this in a poetry-slam-style.
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u/Combatmedic25 10d ago
After reading your comment, I read this in slam-poetry style as well and holy crap it makes it so much better. Like a hundred times better
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u/muscles83 10d ago
It’s literally a poem
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u/DeschainSWNC 10d ago edited 10d ago
Well, obviously. Doesn't make the rhymes any better or the poetic concept less cringeworthy, though.
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u/swordfishy 10d ago
Written by someone who has probably never created anything in his life, only consumed.
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u/Blunter11 9d ago
It’s frustrating watching people demand things be included or fixed in games and it’s often something either impossible or so resource-intensive it would basically end the games development.
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u/Eradomsk 10d ago
I think this is satire. “crimson ornamentation” is amazing lol.
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u/denkmusic 10d ago
It’s not satire it’s a poem. Try thinking of a way of saying “not just blood” that rhymes with “augmentation”!
Edit: how about “gore imitation”
Edit 2: Y’know what fuck this guy actually I’m going to write my own GTA poem
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u/Zargabraath 10d ago
It’s 100% satire it went over OP’s head lol
It’s not even subtle
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u/BelatedLowfish 8d ago
... it's just a guy complaining about GTA 6 in poetry form. It's not satire, it's just not great poetry and a not great review combined into one not very helpful post. A little cringe in the sense that he likely thought that it was some sort of high artform, so I guess it fits on here... but barely.
Not sure how you're confidently calling it "100% not even subtle satire" when there is nothing satirical about it. Who is he satirizing? I'd love to see the "game review poetry forum" he is mocking.
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u/Zargabraath 8d ago
You’re as tone deaf as OP
He is satirizing the kind of people that you and OP think he is. It’s very on the nose and is not in any way subtle
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u/BelatedLowfish 8d ago
There is nothing tone deaf about it. There are no "people I think he is". I literally have never once come across a game review in poetry. If I'm tone deaf and it's satire, which I reaaaaally doubt considering I have extremely dry humor, then please show me who he is satirizing. If you can, I'll gladly retract it. I don't give a shit about GTA 6 reviews, but I can honestly say I've never seen this particular blend of cringe.
So please, show me some examples of who these mythical "others" are. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, but I'm not taking slam poetry GTA 6 reviews as being a trend because "trust me bro".
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u/BelatedLowfish 6d ago
You okay? Still waiting to see who he's mocking so I can correct my tone deafness. I mean, it's not like I started using mIRC at 7 and grew up inferring text without emoji's since I was a literal child or anything. 28 years of practice of inferring tone from context alone isn't enough. I need someone like you to show me the way.
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u/volk96 10d ago
Looks AI written.
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u/Bunrotting 9d ago
Might be AI assisted tbh. The main thing is what the fuck does crimson deformation mean.
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u/theztormtrooper 8d ago
Crimson ornamentation. Blood. It's a poetic way to describe it and what makes me believe this is satire by a human and not AI.
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u/Pretend_North5644 7d ago edited 6d ago
The constant "it’s not X it’s Y" is definitely AI. He probably deep fried it by repeatedly asking it to rewrite it to use smarter words which is why it seems too bad to be AI
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u/BelatedLowfish 8d ago
Not AI. 16 year old poet who considers himself an intellectual because he write reviews in the form of slam poetry. Apparently he is very smart because 2/3rd's of the comments here are completely missing the point lmao.
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u/LiveLaughFap 10d ago
Why does this almost seem like lyrics to a “conscious” rap about pyramids and third eye shit
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u/PatriarchalTaxi 10d ago
It's just a game where you steal cars; it's not meant to be Microsoft Flight Simulator 2026! 😂
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u/PunkBobPlaidPants 10d ago
Guy should step outside. He can get all that and more. It’s a video game about stealing cars and banging hookers in the back ally. It’s not that deep my man.
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u/denkmusic 10d ago
This is genuinely quite a good poem making a really good point. I genuinely don’t see the “I am very smart” here. The seemingly forced language is to make it fit the rhyming scheme not to make the author seem clever.
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u/Tiny_Micro_Pencil 9d ago
Most of his points chalk up to unrealistic expectations and poor knowledge of videogame development. Dude was just making a poem to sound smart about his whining.
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u/ElectricSheep451 6d ago
Lol what "good point" is being made here? It's just generic whining about gta6 by someone who doesn't know anything about game design or the hardware capabilities of modern consoles at all
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u/MattyGWS 10d ago
I don’t think he’s trying to sound smart
I think he’s just a big gamer
With too high expectations of gta6
And apparently doesn’t know how to structure sentences
But definitely no genius
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u/MaximumStock7 9d ago
Gamers seem to be really unique and that they get personally offended and act like they have been wrong if a game is not exactly the way they want it. All will contribute nothing to the people who are actually put in the work to build it. I know fans get into stuff but gamers act like companies owe them something.
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u/Wakeup_And_Piss 8d ago
Just fucking wow. He needs a different hobby or at the very least a different game
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u/Zargabraath 10d ago
One I think that’s definitely a troll
Two why the fuck is he talking about military fleets? Are you sure this is even someone trolling about GTA 6
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u/Iverson7x 10d ago
The crazy part is he has some pretty fair points, he just chose to express them in the most AI cringeworthy way possible
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u/rick_mcdingus 10d ago
I primarily play racing and driving games, expecting BeamNG levels of damage in anything outside of BeamNG is borderline delusional. That game is intensive enough as-is. You’d need a NASA supercomputer to run a GTA style game with that kind of vehicle damage model