And it doesn’t smell nearly as bad!

27 people bought this and are now under that sack of shits watch 🤦

There was an old bastard named Joe

Whose grandson came into some dough

Joe blew all the money

On some stripper named Bunny

And binged crack for three days in a row

It had been a few months since Charlie and his family had moved into the chocolate factory, and he couldn’t have been happier… except for one thing. One day, Charlie was walking down the hall and heard Grandpa Joe’s laughter come from one of the many bedrooms.

“Hey, Grandpa Joe,” Charlie said from the bedroom door, “what are you doing?”

Joe looked up from the laptop balanced on his stomach and called to his grandson. “Charlie, my boy, come here and see how popular your good old grandpa is.”

Charlie walked over to the oversized bed his grandfather was sprawled on, and shook his head softly. “Grandpa Joe, it’s the middle of the afternoon and you’re still in bed. Are you feeling OK? Is the floor still too cold?”

“No Charlie, that’s not it at all. Your grandpa is busy entertaining millions of folks on the internet. Look here,” he said, gesturing at the computer screen, “you see this? It’s a website called… er… oh I don’t know. Riddit or something. Anyway, people put in funny pictures they took and if other people like them, they hit this little blue arrow and you get upvotes. See how many I have? That’s how much people like my humor!”

Charlie squinted at the screen (the effects of years of malnutrition had left him with very poor eyesight), and tilted his head. “Gee Grandpa, I don’t get it. Those pictures all have funny titles, like ‘Grandpa Joe Wrestles and Alligator for a Gigantic Sandwich’, or ‘Grandpa Joe Lifts a Car Full of Clowns with One Hand’, but you’ve never done any of those things. And what’s this one mean? What’s a ‘big tiddy goth girl’?”

“Never mind that, Charlie!” Joe said as he hurriedly slammed the laptop shut. “I’ll explain that when you’re older. The point is, I’m making art here and the people love it!”

“Making art? Do you mean you are actually making those pictures yourself? How?”

“Well Charlie, your Grandpa Joe discovered this wonderful tool called A.I., and it’s the key to everything. All I have to do is type in the scene that I am imagining, and A.I. makes it into a real picture!”

Charlie took a step back and crossed his arms. “So it sounds like you’re not actually doing any of the work here. It’s the computer that’s doing everything.”

Joe angrily shook his head. “No Charlie, you aren’t understanding this at all! I’m the one doing the most important part. I’m the one telling it what to make.”

“Yeah, but without the computer, there wouldn’t be any picture at all. It doesn’t sound to me like you’re making art or even being especially creative. The whole thing kind of sounds… well… lazy. I know you’re getting these upvote things for it, but I don’t think it’s something to really be proud of.”

“Eh, you’re just a child, Charlie. You’re too young to appreciate my creative genius. Someday, you’ll see. I’ll have millions of upvotes and you’ll see how much people love the work your Grandpa is doing!”

“Work?” An ugly chuckle slipped past Charlie’s lips. “Yeah, that’s a good one. Well since you’re so ‘busy’ I guess I’d better leave you to it.”

“Naturally,” Joe said as he reopened the laptop. “My fans are probably starving for more of my wit. Oh, and Charie, if you see one of those Oompa Loompa guys, can you send one in here? I had too many chocolate bars yesterday and had a bit of a blowout in bed, if you know what I mean.”

Charlie shook his head with exasperation. “Oh no, Grandpa Joe… did you overfill your bedpan again?”

Joe barely looked up from his typing. “A bedpan? Of course not! I haven’t used one of those for months.”

Charlie closed the door behind him and walked down the hall. A group of Oompa Loompas were waiting there silently, clutching a variety of tools. “All right guys,” Charlie said, “we were right. He’s never going to change, so go ahead and do what we talked about.” His jaw clenched as he glanced one last time at the door to his grandfather’s bedroom.

“Brick it up.”

tl;dr – Using A.I. to post “humorous” pictures is an act of laziness that Joe would embrace.

Don’t be like Joe.

Fucking Joe would also try to claim the One Ring as his own if he didn’t have to step on the “cold” floor to get it. I’d have loved to thrown his sorry ass into the fires of Mt. Doom.

This decrepit old fuck lays in bed for 20 years under a blanket with his wretched cabbage soup farts. Makes a little boy work every day, then makes this little boy spend his hard earned money on a tobacco tax for the old grandpa. Then, when Charlie finally spends a nickel on himself and wins a golden ticket to a cool ass chocolate factory...

Grandpa Joe hops out of bed, shoves a child to the ground, snatches the golden ticket from the child and decrees: "I'VE GOT A GOLDEN TICKET!" and proceeds to act like he's Jesus.

In the morning during labor day, Grandma Josephine wakes up Grandpa Joe by saying "Hey sweetie, I made you breakfast for labor day!"

Grandpa Joe takes one bite of the pancakes and makes a gagging sound (to hurt Josephine's feelings) but she didn't notice, he said "Wow... These are good, yeah..." Without trying to burst out laughing.

Mrs. Bucket and Charlie thought of going on a hunting trip, with Grandpa Joe having a malicious smile and laughing evilly while thinking about his evil plan

So they drive their car to the forest to hunt, while on the way, Grandpa Joe takes a giant, cabbage-smelling fart, with everyone asking "who was that?" Joe responds "it was probably Charlie! Charlie how dare you!", with nobody even responding (probably thinking about how much they are tired of his bullshit)

They arrive at the forest, with the family bringing their guns to hunt some animals and hopefully having a delicious dinner, but Grandpa Joe tells the family that he has to do something for a few minutes...

So he tries to find some Oompa Loompas or a deer to film, and what is he going to film... He's going to film a snuff and fetish pornographic film with the Oompa Loompas and deers.

He grabs his video camera and films him slicing the Oompa Loompa's throat off and shoots the deer in the head and grabs their bodies so it can look like the deer is "grabbing" the Oompa Loompa's balls and the next scene has the Oompa Loompa sucking on the deer's butthole and urethra

Grandpa Joe then splashes a carton of milk on the area to look like something else, after that he stops recording and edits them on his computer

The family then starts worrying about where Grandpa Joe is at, he then suddenly appears with a projector and a screen to show the snuff/fetish porno that he filmed to the whole family

The film then suddenly starts and the second the fetishistic sex act is shown, the family becomes super shocked and Mrs. Bucket covers Charlie's eyes, Mrs. Bucket asks Joe "Why would you show this to your family, you're sick!"

Grandpa Joe yells "Shut up you fucking bitch of a daughter! Enjoy this film or you'll be next!"

Grandma Josephine calls 911 and the police arrests Grandpa Joe, but before he actually gets in the car, he states that "My daughter was behind all of this, she forced me to film this vile garbage! Arrest her!"

The police then arrest her, and Grandpa Joe asks Grandma Josephine if "they can order a Uber to drive them, because the floorboard on the car is too cold.

The family says "Yes, Grandpa Joe" in an annoyed manner.

What do I put here

I'm trying to make a list, but many of the emotions I've come up with feel too human.