i can’t stop rereading the final message he sent me over and over again. he apologized for all the ways he treated me wrong, all the times he lied, cheated, manipulated. he admitted to it, and he admitted that he knew i deserved better but he only did it because he was so scared to lose me. in the end he wished me well, told me he’d always care for me, and that he hopes i’ll someday find a man who can show up for me in all the ways he couldn’t. maybe i’m still stupid, but when i read that last bit of his message to me - which i do shamefully often - i can feel myself trying to forget the way he made me feel and the things he did to me. im sure it was written with manipulative intent, and my therapist thinks so too, but fuck bro. i wish he was meaner. i wish our last interaction was him cussing me out, screaming at me, and dragging my name through the dirt like i got so used to during our time together. i feel like if that was my final impression of him, maybe it’d be easier to fully let go. the kindness of his final words to me is like a thorn in my side. i guess im just left to wonder forever now if that tenderness was genuine, and if i maybe really did have a shot at finally healing the hurt in him. sorry this is rambling, ive been upset about it

If you’re ashamed of saying “yes” when you wanted to say “no,” or if you’ve eventually caved to doing something you didn’t truly want to do, you may have been subjected to a form of abuse called “coercion.”

You can be coerced into many things you didn’t want to do: paying for things, canceling plans on friends, keeping your abuse quiet, lying for someone’s abuse, withholding your pain and feelings, withholding consequences for someone else’s actions, wearing different clothing, not wearing makeup, avoiding places you like to go, avoiding subjects of discussion, forgiving too quickly—the list is endless.

And many times, your partner never actually told you that you had to do what they wanted. Instead, they use a form of emotional and psychological manipulation—coercive tactics.

Below are some strong indicators of sexual coercion:

Common Tactics & Examples

According to advocacy and health organizations like the Office on Women's Health and The National Domestic Violence Hotline, sexual coercion generally falls into a few key categories:

Persistent Wearing Down: Repeatedly asking, begging, badgering, “joking,” or pouting until the partner gives in just to make the behavior stop.

Unspoken Threats of Cheating: They make you feel like you need to keep them from “finding it somewhere else.” That is coercive by fear of losing the relationship, which is set up with manipulative statements like “I need excitement in my sex life. I can’t just do vanilla sex.” This leads you to believe you are not a fulfilling partner in the bedroom, so you must change yourself to meet their needs.

Emotional Blackmail & Guilt: Using phrases like "If you really loved me, you would," or “Partners sacrifice for each other,” or “I’d do it for YOU.” Other tactics include insulting their partner’s sexual performance, or threatening to self-harm if they don't comply.

Leveraging Obligation: Making a partner feel they "owe" sex because they are in a relationship, married, or because the other person bought them dinner. “If I buy this for you, what am I gonna get out of it?”

Threats and Blackmail: Threatening to end the relationship, spread rumors, expose secrets, or ruin the person's reputation.

Abuse of Power: An authority figure—such as a boss, professor, or landlord—implying that a person's job, grades, or housing depends on sexual compliance.

Substance Exploitation: Intentionally giving someone alcohol or drugs to lower their inhibitions and boundaries.

How Coercion Differs From Consent

In a healthy dynamic, sexual intimacy is based on enthusiastic, mutual desire.

As outlined by Planned Parenthood, if a person only agrees to sexual activity to stop a partner from constant pressure/bombarding them, crying, getting angry, or threatening them, that agreement is a product of coercion, not consent.

Please understand, when mutual desire and enthusiasm are the driving factors behind shared intimacy, you will not feel pressure or guilt, and you will not need drugs or alcohol to follow through with the request.

For anyone who has experienced this, please consider seeking help. This is also a strong indication that you may have suffered other forms of abuse. And that’s never okay. No matter how much you love them.❤️

I (F25) have been with my husband for 7 years, married 3. We have normal ups and downs. We have a lot of good times and at home 70% of the time and he loves me like I want him to and we know each other so well.

When it’s not good it is awful. Hes not abusive. I think he might be a narcissist? I always see reels with behaviors he slightly resembles.

Things have seemed to get worse over the years. Just bigger fights and no resolution. He stonewalls a lot. We will fight and he goes and lays down all night and hardly talks to me for days. It’s been that way the entire time. If I get mad he gets upset that I’m mad then he seems to be the victim.

I can’t seem to go out and do the things I wanna do most of the time. He shuts down. We went to the zoo and about 10 minutes in he started being quiet and giving 1 word answers. I asked him if we need to go inside somewhere if the people are too much and he said no. We went home separate for another reason. Once I got home about 1 hour after him he was very apologetic but the damage was done already. The ONE thing I go and do with him for ME he gets this way.

He tried to kick our dog in the face twice. He’s only done similar about 4 years ago and I forced him to go to anger management therapy which he did for about 4 weeks (8 sessions total?)

I know it sounds so simple to just leave but that means I leave the good parts too and I just can’t make myself. He’s not always bad. The past two months have been ok.

After all this, we love each other a lot at home and going to do simple things and we love talking to each other. Which makes it so hard to make a decision. How do I force myself to decide one way or another?

Random things he’s done to add fuel

4/7/26 we were sitting together and he got up and put a ton of pressure on my leg with his hand and i said ouch. He said oh shut up. I pushed him with my foot really quick kinda playful at his jab. He started to kick me lightly then not so light but not enough to where it hurt bad. But it didn’t feel good. Eventually he kicked my hand and it hit my face which hurt. Then he’s like you know i had a funny story to tell you but now I’m not going to

Me and my husband buy each other easter baskets and have for the past 6 years. I worked on his yesterday and when i got home i told him not to look in my back seat of me car (where it was) he kept saying “what is it? What is it? Now im not gonna be able not to look” And he wouldnt let up so i said whatever here you go. That made me mad. Then he said oh i forgot to make you one. He looked through the stuff and he say the drink i got and said “i like these next time get the sugar free one if you can”. It seemed like he wanted to keep bringing me down to made him feel better.

He called me on my way home from work to ask him if any dust pans are in the house. I told him I’m not sure. I thought there was one in the basement. He said there’s some broken ones and he can’t ever seem to fucking find one in this house. I told him check the garage or my bedroom. He said OK and hung up really fast.

He called me and at once point thought I was ignoring him and said “fine then, ignore me , cunt” and hung up.

Ive been with my first girlfriend since we Got together in 2020. I had a lot of confidence back then and i could talk to her. We fell in love and such and i didnt Care about her family background i just felt bad for her since she came from a abusive childhood but i was also fucked up and did mistakes in our relationship so she has things she hasnt let go of since our first year together.

i experience verbal abuse almost Daily for 5 years i would say atleast 3-4 times a week but before 2026 it was like 5-6 days a week and it degraded me so much. I used to try and explain or myself i would get so angry and we would both raise our voices etc.

she was 18 i was 21 when we met and im 26 now, 27 tomorrow. ive been berated, talked to like a dog and humiliated in public and infront of others countless times by her. Yet im so addicted to her and love her so much for our good times even though she calls me a fucking loser and compares me to my friends and says that she regrets meeting me etc but always when shes angry when shes calm shes the best thing in my life. I never fight back anymore or say anything because its useless to try it just g’ets worse

if things escalate she will throw sjit at me and maybe hit me or push me away and scream and whenever she is angry she shouts at me so the neighbours can hear and police have been called a few times before

she also Got her sisters boyfriend involved at some time and hes a gang member of hells Angels and threatened to kidnap me while i was celebrating my gf birthday he took me into a car and drove off fast in the middle of everything

yes i did bad shit i called her a bitch and a whore but it was when i tried to not argue and shut my mouth and listen to her but its unberable to listen to her when shes angry i just shut Down and feel so shit inside and yes i called her some shit but i dont do it anymore for 1.5 years or more. Im older now and i come from a stable family or atleast not abusive but i never looked Down on her or her family i love them like my own or atleast i try my best i just struggle with social anxiety so i can be quiet at times

but yes i called her bad things but i tried to not do anything but she kept going at me non stop and i snapped and i regret it and feel a lot of shame about those things. Thats Why i dont do it anymore but when she rages me nothing will stop her i will have to close my ears with my hands and then she will mock me and say im a bitch pussy etc and say im a piece of shit and i dont Care about her even though i feel i sacrified my life for her i pushed away my best friend lost him and all contact with my friends im a real loner these days and i dont have much contact with my family i feel so fucking empty and dead inside

sometimes i have Dark thoughts because i cant ever vent or fix it with my girlfriend but she treats me like shit and threqtens to throw me out of our apartment often when shes angry and i pay bills also but fuck theres so much i cant write it all but i try to stay positive i still feel there is hope in life but rn im unemployed and addicted to weed and i spent all my money for her because she controls everything and i feel im so fucking drained and sad inside its so Hard to even bother go outside or take Care of my life and at the same time it feels so shit that my life is passing by

she Argue s with me on my birthday s too and when we around my family and when im around hers i just swallow everything she does when she argues or verbal abuse me or fucking humiliates me with words infront of her sisters but i tqke it all cus i wanna be a good image to her family and i wanna be polite and she has younger siblings too and 2 around her age and i tqke more Care of her smaller siblings than the kids in my own family cus im an uncle too.

anywqys im not saying im innocent i just cant talk with anyone not my family either or they will hate her and i still love her and i hope we Can make it work but at the same time its so tough and i dont know Why i take all this shit and keep coming back even though nobody has ever treated me this bad in my lifw

somedays i feel like killing myself when its bad or like Yea reseqrching ways to suicide or thinking i will go out and Shoot some motherfuckers then kill myself but in the end i dont wanna hurt anyone i just feel so sad and depressed i just want to be happy or maybe just move away but it just all feels so ogerwhelming at the same time

(I hope this is the correct place because I would be embarrassed if not ahah)

Hi I'm 20 finished school 2 months ago and is currently jobless, since I've been living with my parents. Those last years was absolutely horrible especially since I became aware of the way my parents treated me all since childhood and right now my mental health is getting worse.

Yesterday like everyday I'm having a meal with my parents at home then I saw my father putting a lot of pepper in the shared bowl of fries, I asking him why he put pepper then he said that he don't know he just did it and asked why I said that, I replied that I don't like pepper. For some reason he seems to have take it really badly because he told me : oh so you like every spicies but not pepper ? You prefer your asiatique thing. He went to grab my sauces and put it in front of me, my eyes was already ready to sob but when he did that I instantly cry then i stand up took my plate to my room. I heard him say "that I have a difficult personality".

I'm just tired I'm always suffocating, I can't express anything, I'm force, I can't do anything ! He always reacts like that when I not sharing he's point of you, when I don't like what he likes, he can do everything, he can dislike whatever he wants but when it's me or other person suddenly he's getting like that EACH TIME, oh I don't like this piece of ham since I'm a child ? " Look she became vegan, she don't like meat anymore" wtf ??? And many other stuff...

Am I being dramatic or overeating in this situation ?

Hi all. I’ve made a post on here before where the overwhelming response was that it is abuse. I wanted to get clarity on something else that’s been happening for a while.

He has been making me feel like he’s rationing his affection. It’s been happening for a while, but what prompted this post was the most recent incident that just happened where he called me on his way home at 10:30pm and I was already in bed as I have work the next morning. He asked me to get up and heat his food as he is 2 mins away and wants to arrive to his food hot. I did so, begrudgingly, and went back to bed. He came home, saw that it was heating up in the microwave, and came and gave me a short peck on the cheek.
When I asked for another kiss/longer kiss, he just turned his back and walked away so I called out to him and he said “you only get one. Just one is enough”

And this isn’t the first time but this time it genuinely made me blurt out “what the fuck?!” And I felt really hurt.

He’s been for a while avoiding my kisses and dodging my kisses, absolutely not letting me kiss on the lips unless I begged but would kiss my head and cheek. He’s really been almost “frugal” with it and says “just one, just a quick one” but won’t give me a reason why.

He wasn’t always like this. In fact, one could say he is almost hyper sexual, and before getting married all he spoke about was how bad he wanted to kiss me.

Suddenly, he’s laughing at me when I want kisses and saying “look who loves kisses now” (because I used to be shy/avoid them before).

Idk the main thing is I keep feeling rejected and that whole “you only get one” and coldly walking away really hurt.

**Me \[40M\] with my girlfriend \[39F\] of 1.5 years, dealing with volatile blowups, "probation," and disciplinary rules in my own home. I feel like I'm losing my mind.**

I don’t know how to untangle this anymore, and I need outside perspective to tell me if I am genuinely as careless, defensive, and difficult as she says I am, or if this dynamic is as alarming as my gut is starting to whisper.

We do not live together. I have my own house, two kids from a previous marriage, and a senior dog. She has her own apartment. She has poured a lot of time, thought, and energy into giving me advice on navigating co-parenting and life logistics, which I genuinely appreciated. But over time, that dynamic has morphed into feeling like I am perpetually on trial, being managed and evaluated, and constantly failing a performance review.

A few days ago, a minor disagreement over phrasing escalated instantly. She blew up, called me names, cursed at me, and unilaterally broke up with me. About an hour later, she called back without an apology and announced she was giving me "one last chance"—adding a procedural rule that if I ever need to send a vulnerable text about my feelings, it needs to "wait a day or two" before I'm allowed to send it.

The following day, she was at **my house**. She saw that I had hung a damp towel in my bedroom closet instead of on the shower door. She became furious, telling me she has told me this a million times and that she hates it. She asked me why I did it. I began to provide basic context: *"This time, I hadn’t done my laundry, but I've been pretty good about leaving it on the shower door..."*

She immediately cut me off: *"See what you're doing? You're minimizing it and you know how much I hate when you minimize."*

Then she handed down this explicit rule: **"Next time you don't have a towel, you walk to your room naked to go get it and clean up the mess after. You will not grab another towel from the basket!"**

She followed that up with an ultimatum: **"If it happens again where you minimize, next time, I will leave or kick you out of my apartment."**

Yesterday, we had another massive argument where she laid down rules for how I am allowed to speak: *"Do not ever give me the what, when I am asking for the why. Only give the what if you have made it clear that you don't understand it, but know that I am almost always looking for the why."* She also told me that if I say I wasn't thinking and then try to explain my thought process, I am "theorizing contradictory statements" and "essentially calling her stupid."

I caught myself sitting on my phone taking literal, bulleted notes on behavioral rules to avoid triggering her temper:

* *Let her finish every point before I speak, especially when she is correcting me (shows lack of respect otherwise).*
* *When she asks why, don’t contradict my first answer with a new theory.*
* *Skip repeating the issue when it's obvious I understand.*
* *Own impulsiveness instead of explaining.*

Her position is: *"Do you see what I have to deal with? I've asked so many times for him to change these things and every time I see even the towel now, it's a reminder for me of what I will never have."* She insists she is exhausted by the burden of my baggage, and that my instinct to give context is toxic minimization.

I know I can get defensive when I feel attacked. I know I forget domestic habits sometimes. But I am currently walking on eggshells in my own house, terrified of making a single mistake, facing threats of eviction, and being ordered to walk through my home naked as penance for a towel.

Am I minimizing real issues and being a bad partner, or is this completely out of line?

**tl;dr**: My girlfriend \[39F\] unilaterally broke up with me \[40M\] over semantics, retracted it to put me on "one last chance," ordered me to walk naked through my house as punishment for a misplaced towel, and gave me conditional algorithms for how I’m allowed to speak to her. Is this understandable frustration with a forgetful partner, or is this coercive control?

I left a near 7 year relationship about 8 months ago and i am struggling so much, i believe its a trauma bond because when i left i was 100% sure it was the right decision and i couldn’t take it anymore.
I didn’t want my kids seeing him treating me like this anymore and the toxicity in the house.

Now now of course the whole story of why i left has been flipped and i have been blamed for destroying the family by leaving i have started to doubt myself and feel deep deep depression.
I reach out regularly emotionally and i am met with disgust, anger and blame. I believe he is already seeing someone new, he turns up to collect the kids with fresh haircuts, weight loss and i feel a shell of myself.
I have been living back with my elderly parents whilst he has bought a new home.

I have tried am trying everything from spending thousands on therapy, using subliminals at night to detach, crystals, journalling.
I just can’t get through the withdrawal phase of this trauma bond and in my head i want to go back and i deeply made a mistake. For a back story he gave me the silent treatment regularly, manipulated and gaslit me, i felt guilty all the time, he was jealous and coercively controlling.

I still miss him, its like a battle with my own brain, i still am young but and i look after myself but the past 8 months i have lost a crazy amount of weight, i am already a slim person.

Im worried about myself and if i will ever recover from this, im worried for my kids to see me like this whilst he is unbothered and moving on. Any advice to help rewire my nervous system

My ex and I broke up because according to my therapist she’s emotionally abusive and manipulative and we just had an unhealthy relationship.

When I was in a very emotional and vulnerable state after the break up I full on vented and spilled my guts out to our mutual friend about how I felt and all the things in the relationship. I also told her what my therapist said about her and how she was manipulative and emotionally abusive and how she should seek therapy and work on herself.

Well I found out our mutual friend told my ex everything I said im upset about that due to her taking advantage of my trust but now I’m curious if my ex will finally change after hearing all that maybe it’s a wake up call for her what do you think ?

Title explains the main reason I’m writing. He’s abusive but better and now sober. But he still won’t admit or fully talk about his lies, unfaithful past, or my desires for my career that he’s promised for over a decade to support me with. Still takes jabs at me and lies but they are infrequent.

We no longer talk about the future since I found out he was cheating on me a few months ago. I feel like he’s just love bombing or being nice to keep me around. But it’s so superficial and surface level. Our deep issues are not being worked on because he throws a fit if I try to bring anything up. So I gave up on that and we haven’t discussed it at all.

Again, he’s better on a daily basis and sober but it’s the deeper issues I can’t get over. Is this messed up that I still want to leave? I know I’ll end up looking like the ungrateful one who didn’t try hard enough. Any advice is helpful thank you.

We sat down and told my daughter last night I’m so excited to move on he really is a Terrible person. He loves to threaten me and then say he cares about me lol if you cared about me you wouldn’t treat me like shit and give me an STI. 🤷🏾‍♀️

He’s already threatening me about telling my daughter the truth about who he is. She’s been here the whole time listening to you yelling at me berating me and threatening me she knows who the bad guy is.

A big part of why I started building Prism comes from the 15 years I spent in an emotionally abusive marriage.

I know what it feels like to slowly stop trusting your own memory, your own reactions, and sometimes even your own understanding of what was happening around you.

To remember something one way, be told it didn’t happen like that — or didn’t happen at all — and then spend hours or days replaying it in your head.

To wish you had written it down.

To wish you had kept the text.

To wish you had some way to go back and see what you actually recorded before doubt, guilt, confusion, or someone else’s version of events started creeping in.

Prism is the app I wanted during those years.

I tried over and over to build some version of this for myself on paper. Journals. Notes. Lists. Different systems I thought would finally help me hold onto the full context of what was happening.

None of them worked the way I needed them to.

What I wanted was one private place where I could preserve the moments that mattered, keep the context around them, and come back later and see my own history for myself.

Not have an app tell me what happened.

Not have it diagnose my relationship.

Not have it decide whether someone was abusive, manipulative, lying, or gaslighting me.

Just let me return to what I had actually chosen to record.

I can’t tell you how much peace of mind that would have given me.

That is what I have finally managed to build with Prism.

I’ve put my heart and soul into making this happen.

Prism came from how difficult it can be to remember the full context of a relationship over time — especially when conversations repeat, details get disputed, boundaries keep shifting, or you find yourself trying to remember exactly what happened weeks or months ago... all while being blamed, dismissed, contradicted, or told you are remembering things wrong.

Prism is meant to give you one private place to preserve the moments you choose to keep and return to them later.

The Scribe keeps the record. The user decides what it means.

I’m now looking for a few people who would be willing to test an early version and give me honest feedback.

And I really mean real people.

People who understand why having something like this at their fingertips could matter.

People who might actually benefit from being able to preserve their own history and come back to it later.

Right now Prism is in a small, private Closed Beta. The version being tested is still the working skeleton of the app, so it is functional but visually basic and not yet the finished experience.

I’m looking for people willing to actually use it for a few days and tell me what feels useful, confusing, awkward, hard to trust, or missing.

I’m keeping the group small and manually approving testers, so I’m not posting the private app link publicly.

If this feels like something you would genuinely want to test, comment here or send me a message and I’ll send you the short tester-interest form.

And you do not need to share your story publicly to participate.

We were leaving the movie theater and he asked me what I wanted to do; I didn't know if I preferred to go eat or shop first, and he told me that I was acting retarded in front of some people who were on the street. I told him not to call me that, but he insisted that I was the one in the wrong for not being able to make up my mind.

I don't know what to do; I live in another country that I moved to precisely because of him, and I really feel very bad.

Throwaway account because I’m paranoid, but here’s the gist of it, and I don’t know what to do.
I, 45 f, have been with my partner (43m) for 23 years. Two beautiful children, everything looks wonderful.
When we originally got together, we were friends first, and that eventually turned into something more. I got knocked up, we had a discussion, and there started our family.
But
I was young, and now that I can look back at the beginning after only a couple therapy sessions, and confidently say, stupid.
This man partied. Hard. Every night.
I was pregnant and alone. I didn’t have much of a friend circle on my own, his friends were my friends. But they preferred him, because he was the fun one while I was at home heating bottles, doing diaper changes, cleaning the house, making meals, etc.
this got more and more frequent, and I had to call him over and over for him to tell me in a drunken slur “I’ll be home soon”. I cried, I screamed, I begged, I pleaded. I had PPD after my daughter was born so bad, and I had literally no one, because if you can’t nurture friendships, they tend to die.
So I hunkered down and survived, always with the “daddy I can fix him” attitude. Just keep swimming, eventually it will get better.
Except one day he came home from work. My daughter would have been about 3 at this time, we were making supper together and having the best time. He came home, said he didn’t love me anymore, hopped in the vehicle and I didn’t see him all weekend. He came back with his bestie and moved all of my stuff into my mom’s house.
I begged him to take us back. Sobbed relentlessly. Tried to use s\*\*ual prowess to win this man back. Eventually he did,
With a caveat.
I couldn’t call him when he was out,
I could not ask where he was going
Either of those and we were done.
And my stupid ass went along with it.
So after we got back together, we had another child, and things continued from there.
Fast forward to about 5-6 years ago. He comes home one night, drunker than drunk and says “we need to talk”
He cheated.
Some other woman had her slobbery messy face on my husbands most intimate area.
The ultimate betrayal.
But hey I’m pretty sure we all know by now how stupid I am.
So I forgave him.

So I’m seeing a psychologist for another reason, and we are starting to unpack why I am like I am (cptsd mimicking adhd) and I’m realizing that I went through a\*\*se, plain and simple.

What I thought was a genuine relationship, was years of toxic mismanagement, with just enough freedom to make me think I’m free.

Finding out that you’ve basically quashed yourself for 20 years to benefit another person is soul crushing.
I now need to see if I can actually forgive and move past this transgressions, even though he has made literal efforts in leaps and bounds.

Since the infidelity, he gave me a location tracker and he quit drinking cold turkey,
But he is still quite argumentative and gaslighty sometimes-which I’ve started to call him
Out on as I heal.

If I forgive him and continue, and I just suppressing my soul further? Or will I actually be able to move on?
I don’t know-but I need some insight from others. Maybe someone else has been in this position, I’m not sure what to do even.

Oh and I will also add, that due to the cptsd, I am
Unable to work, and haven’t had a stable income in over two years. We have no savings, the man is like a kid in a candy store with their allowance, and the bills are piling up, while he invests in his latest hyperfixation.

Redditors, I need your help!

SO and I have been together for 8 years married 4. He has kids from a previous marriage. We have a 2.5 yr old and I’m currently 3 months pregnant.
I noticed a “short fuse” from the beginning but he never said anything insulting.
I used to follow him because I thought had to fix it right then. I have past trauma from my childhood.
In the last 2 years our relationship has gotten really uncomfortable for me.

He was so gentle and I could talk to him about anything and was so surprised I could be so vulnerable…
Now it’s like even in just casual conversation we speak two different languages. We get tripped up so fast it’s like I get whip lash and don’t even know what’s happened and he’s so angry so fast…

Most of the time I feel like I’m in an intellectual debate. The conversation does not flow. It used too. He tells me I don’t need to explain myself but asks me so many questions to dissect what I’m saying , I definitely feel the need to explain.
Then when I get confused on what our conversation is about or misheard, or think we are on the same page but realize quickly we are not….
He said I was cruel for acting like I knew what he was talking about.
I thought I was understanding. The realized I missed something. Then let him know I was tracking…but he said it was a cruel thing to do? I was frustrated and so confused. And tried to explain this and he said I didn’t acknowledge his feelings.
He’s said some pretty hurtful things while angry and said that he didn’t mean them and that it’s just out of “anger”
I mean we all say stuff we don’t mean .
But these are specific hurtful insults that cut deep. He said I complain about being with my daughter every day. It’s not true.
I just needed to vent from a hard day or couple of days…. Then used it against me…
Now I don’t even feel like I can tell him how I truly feel because he’ll use it against me.
I was just diagnosed with ADHD. He also has it. I got off adderall when I found out I was pregnant. I’m now on Lexapro and need to increase because I just feel like I’ve lost all my light. Now I’m unsure on how to speak. I’m worried I’ll be so misunderstood then get in trouble for being confused.

He breaks things. I’ve expressed that in my past loud noises and screaming really make me anxious. But last night a door window got broke, a chair got broken, and some how with a broom he put a whole in our counter.

I commented why can’t we just have a general conversation why does it have to be picked apart. And it send him over the top….

We are in counseling. We’ve been 3 times. How can I bring this up? I’m not sure of my words anymore. I’ll say I said something and he’ll say I didn’t. I’m to the point I want cameras in the house so I can see if I really am the problem. Or if he’s just being too hard on me…
Sorry for the long post.

I am a minor and I feel like my mom might be emotionally or verbally abusing me. I don’t know something like that. I feel like at times I might just be overreacting and it’s not that big of a deal but I don’t know and I don’t know how to reach for help and I don’t feel like I should cause I might just be being stupid and she’ll get mad at me for thinking she’s abusing me

I go to a therapist because a few months ago I tried killing myself and ended up in the hospital when we first got there she was mad at me and said I was doing it for attention

At two years ago before that, she found out, I was cutting myself and started crying and said if I’m doing it for attention, she’ll give me more attention and didn’t report it to anyone

I think my brain might’ve made this part up because I don’t remember it clearly but A few months after that she found out I was cutting again and started yelling at me saying I was just doing it for attention at this point

Then a few months after that, I accidentally left a blade in the bathroom and she found it and it had blood on it and she came into my room really angry saying we would talk about it tomorrow. It was late at night so I think she forgot because we didn’t talk about it.

back to the therapy part in a few days of writing this I’m going to see a psychologist or whatever for ADHD and anxiety because my therapist recommended it

I might come back and edit this later. This is all I can remember.

I hope you can read this. I’m not that good at writing.

When we were together (for over 11 years...) my ex used up all of my money.

Then they got upset every time I asked them about purchases they made, and while they always apologized, I eventually I just stopped asking.

I always thought I was a super frugal person. I am still very frugal and calculated with with how I purchase things—I do a LOT of research—but I'm suddenly spending... More money than I should be.

I'm a new(ish) plant parent and have recently spent over $100 on plants and cuttings, plus some other things that are *arguably* unneeded items (cat tree, electric kettle, open ear buds, ect).

I still almost always buy things in a very budget-conscious way, though. In this case, by getting (surprise) leafless nodes and (100 lol) succulent leaves. 🤦‍♀️ The starter plants that I did get were at a 45% discount.

I'm suuuuuper excited, though. It's nice to have SOMETHING to look forward to.

A few weeks ago, I basically didn't keep track and drained my checking account. I'm privileged enough to recover from that, but it was definitely a wakeup call.

This is very new behavior for me. I just lost so much because of them and want to get back at least some what I would've had if I hadn't been with them, y'know?

It's not like I'm going into debt or anything, but I should still probably reign it in even more.

Anyone else?

I'm tired of dealing with my mother who pits my brother and I against each other.
What do I do when I wanted to have a better relationship with my brother (who was a "Golden Child" and a bully to me growing up).

My mother is a Machiavellian type narcissistic, pick me "boy mom."

Boyfriend(27M) was play slapping me(29M). In that moment his hand accidentally hit my eye. He did not realize. Before I could react I saw his hand go up again. So in that split second I think I said “No, no, don’t do that again”. He says I said “No, no, don’t ever do that”.

Now he is mad at me, and he says that I make him feel unsafe because I keep throwing that he is abusive in his face. (In the past he has spit on me and pushed me).

I don’t think I meant to bring up any abuse. I was just wanting for him to stop play slapping me.

I immediately felt weird for saying “No” in the way I said it, so I have been apologizing for it since the night. He is giving me the silent treatment and whenever I talk about it he says, something along the lines of - he felt like he violated a boundary which is very intense when all he was doing was being playful with me. We had a huge argument in the past couple months which led to the spitting and pushing.

This morning I said that I’m sorry I said no in the way I did, I will be better at setting boundaries in a better way in the future. He is also holding on to that and saying that so you do believe I violated your boundary. I was just being playful and you made it into something more serious. He said he has been feeling comfortable with me(since the flight we have been working on our relationship) that’s why he was being playful and now the way I reacted is making him feel unsafe that I am throwing abuse at him in every situation.

So my mom and dad have been emotionally, physically, verbally abusing, shaming and doing stuff i can't explain for years since 2023. They've been kicking me and stuff.

Please support me.

the goal posts are always moving. they could be happy due to external factors but still find a way to criticize you. you could make sure that they had all of the control that day so they’re happy but they will still find a way to insult you. it doesn’t matter how many boundaries you set, they will break all of them just because they think they can. they have to be in control at all times even when the control is over how you feel about yourself. but when they are at their lowest point is it truly the scariest to be around them. any stressor, big or small, makes it worse. their contempt will never end, it just gets worse.

i could be excited about something as silly as a pickled red jalapeño that i have for myself and they will go out of their way to make sure that they eat it just because it meant that I don’t get to have it. i could be talking at the same table as them about the same topic but because I contributed to any knowledge on the subject that meant that it ruined the entire conversation. i know an actress in a movie and that makes me a ‘know it all’. we have an opinion different than theirs on a movie and they stomp off and groan while they walk to the other room. the same goes for when i buy a decoration that i thought was cute. i can’t like the same things as them because that means i’m trying to copy them. but they go around telling everyone they like something that i’m known for liking even though they never liked it before. i get stared at from their corner with a suspicious look on their face because they think i’m hiding who i really am. I get blamed for everything bad that happens to them, no matter what it is.

there is no making it stop. there is no happiness that they could feel that will make it actually stop. even when they’re happy, it’s still happening. it’s still on their mind. it’s in the way they talk about badly about you. it’s in the way they think so lowly of you. it’s still a choice they’re making every time they’re around you and when they’re not. nothing makes them happy. they will do nothing to fix themselves. they don’t think they’re the ones that need fixing. even when/if all of this is brought on because they hate themselves. they will never be honest about themselves about who they are or what they are doing and how harmful it is. they’ve already justified it, reframed it, and will continue even after no contact. it’s who they are. and nothing in the world will ever make them happy enough to stop.

All my abuser would do & was criticize me and treat me like a child. I'm trying to relearn how to be comfortable with my own decisions. I just feel gross inside me and have a hard time looking at myself. I really can recover from this?

My entire life my father has belittled me, screamed at me and only got mad at my shortcomings. Any achievement I had was swiftly followed by a comparison to my brother -top student in a hard program in the best university in my country-, and how 'i should be able to be like him'. I feel like as a kid he was nice? But I honestly can't remember much. Everything I do gets criticized, and I've never once felt loved or proud of who I really was. I feel terrible saying this because not all my moments with him are bad, we can get along so long as it's an activity he cares about.. it's a little hard to explain our relationship, but it's gotten so much worse as I got older, whenever I'm not very talkative or keep to myself for a day, I get called a cxnt by him, and when I tell him not to call me that, I get screamed at, "If you don't want to get called that don't act like one", and I'm so sick of it. My poor mom has come to me sobbing because of how much of an a hole he was to me.

I was talking to my friend earlier, and she was saying how it's a miracle I didn't end up with something like BPD, and now I'm worried I'll get something. Should I take some kind of test? I really dont want to end up like him.